Love by auric blends

I have been rewatching Schitt's Creek, and I love that David and Patrick have "The Best" by Tina Turner as "their song." What other shows have couples with a reoccurring song?

At least for me (f,36). I’m a late diagnosed woman who’s been people pleasing for too long. I’ve tried being authentic, supportive, considerate and all those things. That probably backfired a lot because I’m disappointed by many people. I guess, my boundaries aren’t as strong as I want them to be yet.
I’ve been masking since I was young. Apparently not successful because I still struggle to make friends. And most people are also not my people, so it’s a two way street. But I can tell that I automatically try a little too hard at times and people perceive me as maybe not real enough or too much of something.
And at the same time I don’t act the typical phony way and overshare or don’t say the right things. Then people often feel free to tell me even the slightest insulting things which is weird. I’m an attractive woman but I think since I’m so “nice” they love to point out my weaknesses or my flaws or just tell me I look tired or that I lost weight or whatever. Not a many but it seems to happen sporadically.
I think I’m just frustrated that I’m so honest and encouraging as I often tell others what I appreciate about them but rarely get that back. I don’t get invited anywhere other than with my family and kids to our relatives or friends on my husbands side. It seems I’m an alien not many relate to. I also stopped drinking, so I’m even less relatable. Plus, now I see how many people and places I’ve only tolerated because it’s easy to put up with by drinking alcohol.
Of course, there’s people who appreciate me for me. And some only like their idea of me or the masked version.
I find myself getting really resentful towards the world. I get mad at myself for caring so much. I feel I have to package myself correctly to be accepted or liked and I’m just tired of it.
I want to have good boundaries and still have inner peace. I go a long time being successful at that but then again I become mad at my shortcomings or other people’s ignorance. Don’t know how to categorize the rage I’m feeling rn.
I don’t know if I’m making sense. Just needed to vent. It could also be other bigger underlying issues that show up as discontent right now which I do have. There’s some problems with my parents at the moment that cause me worry and sadness and I suppress it often subconsciously.
Can anyone relate? I’m looking to be in a better place and not want to tell everyone off.

I don’t know what went over me.. just the feeling of loneliness combined with frustration over people making fun of me for being a virgin as well as painting me as this cute little innocent thing.. and part of me believes it build up from getting assaulted by my crush right before Christmas and feeling unworthy of real love.
I’ve been thinking about this day a lot. Going to a party where I barely knew anyone. Meeting a guy with a sense of humor and a feeling of immediate comfort, and just letting all sense of reason go for him and giving him a part of me I can never get back.
Don’t get me wrong, I never planned to wait until marriage, and I’m not religious. I don’t see people who have casual sex as people who lack self respect at all, and I’m not really angry with myself either.. I’m just feeling conflicted, because I never knew that it would affect me this much. Sometimes I want to take the whole experience back, and I feel a sense of self hatered, and other times I find myself missing the experience, and wanting to meet him again. I’m just struggling a bit emotionally right now lmao…

I’m starting to get more into Horror fic. As much as I love the novels of this sub, sometimes you want something shorter.
So… What are your favorite short stories?
I’ll start. “There Will Come Soft Rains” by Ray Bradbury.

I can't believe how horrible these parents are! Good God - there are way too many horror stories here. I'm a lucky person who had normal parents. I've read so many of these posts and OMG my heart aches for for every single one of you who endured shitty childhoods with horrible parents. If you've figured it out or now using therapy, Kudos to you for rescuing yourself. I'm guessing its an ongoing process for many, but please know you are a worthwhile person to be loved and cherished by those who know you. Shitty treatment by your parents was not your fault, despite what they may have told you. Like I told a friend who I now realize has horrible Nparents - just because you are related, doesn't mean you have to like someone. To avoid the constant problems, she finally went LC with my constant encourage; and she's so much happier now.
Keep on rescuing yourself and don't listen to their craziness. I wish each and every one of you here healing and the better life you deserve.

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originally posted to mathematics
So yeah, turns out the Maya were brilliant numerical analysts who knew that around this day and age some unknown emo kid would figure out that the Germans would be the only egocentric sheeple who'd rather bully us into suicide than to let us know too much and that any one of us could've figured this out, individually or collectively,
I'm tired of metaspamming and being ignored just because you guys were raised to be annoyed by my people, it's not my fault after all and I gave us all the quantum bitchslap back into Garden Eden because I never believed in the concept of "knowing too much" and always had fun browsing Wikipedia, but I won't wait for those guys to stop debating "not relevant enough".
Turns out we were too stupid to understand our own language or other languages as the Germans would always be an egocentric sheeple stupid enough to fall for simple marketing psychology / the oldest trick of humankind and of course anarchy / communism was what we all wanted but were told to detest.
All that the prophets ever tried to sell us was "have fun at work" and never advocated for any of the fascist homo-/trans-/xenophobic bullshit that we were indoctrinated to believe.
Love me, hate me, I don't give a flying fuck what you make out of me as a person but you'd better fucking respect me, I figured out what jihadism was about and that it does not require terrorism but means "keep calm, smoke ganja, prepare your webpage and rejoice".
You were raised to be bigoted disbelieving dicks, but I am the "God" / illuminate (wise elder) who "knew too much" and didn't give a flying fuck as I jihaded away at my keys, telling Republicans what to do as I was sick and tired of being lied to and to be pitted against my own fucking mother who still believes I deserve to be a mental health patient for all eternity and deserves a punch in the face by anyone who walks past her for being such a bigoted self-centered stupid ignorant Nazi bitch.
Flow with the tide, the city will be the city and that's beautiful, to be annoyed by ads was just marketing psych bullshit as well, Trump may have been a narcissistic liar but he too knew it wiser to be a bro who cheated others out of their money but taught them to be self-employed moguls and his style of politics was admittedly very funny.
The secret services are bound to know what's up and all I expect of you guys is to collectively ring up the media to finally report on what happened and to stop blindly believing everything you were told as that is the psychiatric definition of paranoid schizophrenia.
Educate, don't indoctrinate. It's wiser to be a fascist who forces world peace than to ever be trolled out of paradise by my people who will always be a bag of bigoted dicks and who still believe that I'm an insufferable nutjob who mentally and sexually abused my best friend when all that I tried to tell her was that she too could be a physicist but that she doesn't need a diploma and that she should just let me be her mentor.
Please digitise all of the books that aren't on Library Genesis (https://libgen.is) yet, I'm the dude who forced all of the recent leaks and told the CIA to go fuck themselves and I expect nothing more of you guys than an amazing prom festival over at Campus Duisburg some time next month and for us to finally all be bros again.
Autism is nothing bad but our natural state of being, and idiocy only means to have better things to do than to care about news and politics.
Greetings, a modern-day war chief, serious academic, "messiah" and the wisest emo kid of his generation who'd of course rather write his dissertation on a tour bus than to wait for my fascist uni pals to give me an office or 2nd mail address. HOUGH! <3

I just had a moment of "what is it like having a normal, healthy dog?" and thought maybe I'd reach out to see if anyone has been there. This is gonna be long and have a lot of parentheses so...
TL;DR my adopted dog of 1 year has frequent bowel upsets (about 1/month) that usually resolve with probiotics/time.
Further info: he's a bit over a year old - his age is iffy (anywhere from year and a half to 2 years old). Was picked up as a stray but likely dumped by a prior owner. He's 9lbs, DNA testing says mostly Chihuahua, but also some pekingese, dachshund, poodle, Pomeranian, and whatever other small dog you can think of.
Since literally the day we got him home he's had bowel issues. We've spent so much $$$ at the vet thank God we can afford it. The vet's ultimate conclusion is "probably IBS." She said we could test his liver and kidneys to rule out further disease but she's not inclined to think it's that because his weight is stable and no other symptoms.
Most upsets are triggered by him eating something he shouldn't on a walk. He's had professional training, great at leave it/drop it, except dude loves an earthworm jerky and will swallow it before we can get out "drop it" - then cue the diarrhea.
We already gave up on traditional wet food. Even prescription diet wet food gave him horrible colon upset (I can't even describe how awful it was even with slow intro) so his vet gave the OK to do bland diet (boiled chicken/white rice) as long as he gets some kibble to fill the gap on missing nutrients (about 1/2 to 2/3 cup of sensitive skin and stomach formula each day). He also gets half a packet of probiotic powder with breakfast but we do a whole packet when he's in a flare.
Right now we're on day 4 of a flare and it's mostly resolved - poop is back to normal but I wasn't giving his nighttime snack of a smartbones brand mini churro at night - usually he gets one in his crate and works on it throughout the night. Since he's been sick I thought it best to wait until he was all better so I was giving a little chicken before bed instead.
Well TIL what "empty stomach vomiting" is when he woke me up by throwing up bile in his crate. I feel like an asshole. He didn't want his breakfast either bc I'm assuming he still feels gross but ate a little cheese and is now asleep on me.
I think I'm just looking for someone to say "yeah I've been there it's wild" or advice or anything because I love him so much but holy shit this is so exhausting.

So... I'm pretty new, I guess. (Lvl. 37 by time I write this) And I'm very curious as to why the cutscene resolution is, well, VERY BAD. Do they improve later on or is there a way to fix this somehow? I play on PC with the highest graphical settings on, but I still can't see for ****... I just want to have an immersive experience with this game, because I love the story and combat so far, but when it comes to the cutscenes... I just start counting pixels...
Btw, I play it through steam. Should I download it from miHoyo instead? If that makes any difference.

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The Little Mermaid hits theaters on May 18, 2023. Tickets to see the film at your local movie theater are available online here. The film is being released in a wide release so you can Watch it in person.
How to Watch The Little Mermaid for Free?release on a platform that offers a free trial. Our readers to always pay for the content they wish to consume online and refrain from using illegal means.
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The streaming giant has a massive catalog of television shows and movies, but it does not include ‘The Little Mermaid.’ We recommend our readers Watch other dark fantasy films like ‘The Witcher: Nightmare of the Wolf.’
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Crunchyroll, along with Funimation, has acquired the rights to the film and will be responsible for its distribution in North America.Therefore, we recommend our readers to look for the movie on the streamer in the coming months. subscribers can also Watch dark fantasy shows like ‘Jujutsu Kaisen.’
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The Little Mermaid, the latest installment in the The Little Mermaid franchise, is coming to Disney+ on July 8th! This new movie promises to be just as exciting as the previous ones, with plenty of action and adventure to keep viewers entertained. you’re looking forward to Watching it, you may be wondering when it will be available for your Disney+ subscription. Here’s an answer to that question!
Is The Little Mermaid on Funimation?
Crunchyroll, its official website may include the movie in its catalog in the near future. Meanwhile, people who wish to Watch something similar can stream ‘Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – The Movie: Mugen Train.’
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What is The Little Mermaid About?
It features an ensemble cast that includes Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Wilde, Gemma Chan, KiKi Layne, Nick Kroll, and Chris Pine. In the film, a young wife living in a 2250s company town begins to believe there is a sinister secret being kept from her by the man who runs it.
What is the story of The Little Mermaid?
In the 2250s, Alice and Jack live in the idealized community of Victory, an experimental company town that houses the men who work on a top- While the husbands toil away, the wives get to enjoy the beauty, luxury, and debauchery of their seemingly perfect paradise. However, when cracks in her idyllic life begin to appear, exposing flashes of something sinister lurking below the surface, Alice can’t help but question exactly what she’s doing in Victory.
In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming The Little Mermaid. Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and The Little Mermaid has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.
Production companies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
At San Diego Comic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other people raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in The Little Mermaid would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he mean? And what would that kind of reset mean for the remainder of DCEU’s roster, including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, Shazam and so on.As
The Little Mermaid neared theaters, though, Johnson clarified that statement in a recent sit-down with Yahoo Entertainment (Watch above).
“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in The Little Mermaid, which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge’s Hawkman, Noah Centineo’s Atom Smasher, Quintessa Swindell’s Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan’s Doctor Fate, who together comprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ’s The Little Mermaid.)
“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in my mind… all these characters interact. That’s why you see in The Little Mermaid, we acknowledge everyone: Batman , Superman , Wonder Woman, Flash, we acknowledge everybody.There’s also some Easter eggs in there, too.So that’s what I meant by the resetting. Maybe resetting’ wasn’t a good term.only
In addition to being Johnson’s DC Universe debut, “The Little Mermaid” is also notable for marking the return of Henry Cavill’s Superman. The cameo is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was completely unaware of it until he saw the film.
“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn’t know until maybe a day or two before the premiere,” he recently said The Little Mermaid (2023) FULLMOVIE ONLINE
Is The Little Mermaid Available On Hulu?Viewers are saying that they want to view the new TV show The Little Mermaid on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to Watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
Is The Little Mermaid Streaming on Disney Plus?
Unfortunately, The Little Mermaid is not currently available to stream on Disney Plus and it’s not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest.
While Disney eventually releases its various studios’ films on Disney Plus for subscribers to Watch via its streaming platform, most major releases don’t arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film’s theatrical release.
The sequel opened to $150 million internationally, which Disney reports is 4% ahead of the first film when comparing like for likes at current exchange rates. Overall, the global cume comes to $330 million. Can it become the year’s third film to make it past $1 billion worldwide despite China and Russia, which made up around $124 million of the first film’s $682 million international box office, being out of play? It may be tough, but it’s not impossible. Legging out past $500 million is plausible on the domestic front (that would be a multiplier of at least 2.7), and another $500 million abroad would be a drop of around $58 million from the original after excluding the two MIA markets. It’d be another story if audiences didn’t love the film,but the positive reception suggests that Wakanda Forever will outperform the legs on this year’s earlier MCU titles (Multiverse of Madness and Love and Thunder had multipliers of 2.2 and 2.3 respectively).
As for the rest of the box office, there’s little to get excited about, with nothing else grossing above $10 million as Hollywood shied away from releasing anything significant not just this weekend but also over the previous two weekends. When Black Panther opened in 2018, there was no counterprogramming that opened the same weekend, but Peter Rabbit and Fifty Shades Freed were in their second weekends and took second and third with $17.5 million and $17.3 million respectively. That weekend had an overall cume of $287 million compared to $208 million this weekend Take away the $22 million gap between the two Black Panther films and there’s still a $57 million gap between the two weekends. The difference may not feel that large when a mega blockbuster is propping up the grosses,but the contrast is harsher when the mid-level films are the entire box office as we saw in recent months.
The Little Mermaid, which is the biggest grosser of the rough post-summer, pre-Wakanda Forever season, came in second with just $8.6 million. Despite the blockbuster competition that arrived in its fourth weekend, the numbers didn’t totally collapse, dropping 53 % for a cume of $151 million. Worldwide it is at $352 million, which isn’t a great cume as the grosses start to wind down considering its $200 million budget. Still, it’s the biggest of any film since The Little Mermaid, though Wakanda Forever will overtake it any day now.
The Little Mermaid came in third place in its fourth weekend, down 29% with $6.1 million, emerging as one of the season’s most durable grossers and one of the year’s few bright spots when it comes to films for adults. The domestic cume is $56.5 million Fourth place went to Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, which had a negligible drop of 5% for a $3.2 million sixth weekend and $40.8 million cume., in fact )
, which isn’t surprising considering it’s the only family film on the market, and it’s The Little Mermaid to grossing four times its $11.4 million opening. Still, the $72.6 million worldwide cume is soft given the $50 million budget , though a number of international markets have yet to open.
Finishing up the top five is The Little Mermaid, which had its biggest weekend drop yet, falling 42% for a 10 million from a budget of just $20 million.
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I have some specific needs that are not being met. Problem is, I'm extremely introverted and reclusive and have no charisma, so I don't go well with most.
About Me:
5'9, 150lbs, white, average body.
Software Engineer
Home and Car owner
Drink occasionally and socially
Do not smoke or use drugs
Sexually active (disturbingly this needs to be said nowadays)
Personality: Introverted Nerd
I love video and table top games. They are my favorite way to socialize. I'll camp, hike, go fishing, and sit by a fire on occasion, I'll travel if a good museum or aquarium is involved (been to South Dakota, Hawaii, and Chicago and am making plans for other countries), but largely I'm a homebody. I cook, clean, garden, maintain my home and car (currently fixing my water heater), have a good job, exercise regularly and basically have my life in order, except for the parts which require someone else.
The part where I rant:
Thing is, I've learned I can't just be with anyone. Your generic dime-a-dozen tinder frequenter is not someone I can spend much time with. I'm not going to your sister's wedding so you can convince mommy, daddy, and your sister that you are not a total fuck up by attracting an engineer, I'm not going to be a new daddy to your 3-5 kids all from different parents, and I'm not going to spend $1000s on you like some sugar daddy. These are by far the 3 most common women I've met in my time dating.
Don't get me wrong, I am pretty successful and alright looking, I'm good with kids (I have raised one on my own, feel free to ask), and I have a good job with money to spend. If any of these aspects are what you are attracted to though, we are not going to work.
And the wrap up:
I need someone with shared interests and similar personality. I want to do things together, not just live together. I'm willing to take part in your hobbies if you are willing to do the same for me. I want to travel together, play games, cuddle on the couch, do what I can to meet your needs and desires, and just enjoy being together. I'm open to starting a family together but we have to be happy together first. If we are not BOTH happy with each other, I'm not going to try and make it work. Sadly it's a bit late in life to grow together so all I can do is hope to find someone at least close to this.
And before I get the the 10,000+ comments from people saying, "oh you have too many requirements, you'll never find anyone like that", or that weird ass person who commented on my last successful post comparing women to build your own sandwiches, I've met the people of my dreams. I know they exist. They are either in other countries or I just failed to attract them.

I’ve been with my husband for 4 years now. Since the beginning of our relationship he’s lied to me about him being ready to commit to me and has kept past women around, hide his inappropriate thoughts and interactions with women. At times the women have been around me and tried to befriend me. One of the women told me two days before we were married that if she wanted to fuck my husband she could do it now or whenever she wants. I found out two months in that he emotionally and physically cheated on me numerous times, when i felt like i was ready to leave him i found out i was pregnant. Fast forward i also found out he had an alcohol addiction. Throughout the relationship he kept promising to change and improve, nothing has ever been consistent. He was He would always go back to how he was and told me he wanted to live his life the way he wanted, he always got angry or annoyed when i would cry, express my emotions and would leave our home, confide in women about our problems or he would leave to another room and sleep, he was very verbally abusive to me during both pregnancies and i left to live with my parents. ive lost weight developed an eating disorder and have been diagnosed with three different mental illnesses and three different health conditions. He lost his job last year due to drinking drunk with our first born child he’s still been drinking and clubbing and recently he separated from me and told me he never loved me, that he used me for his benefit, that i burden myself with other peoples problems then cry about it, he’s cursed me out and put me down constantly. He told me he refuses to come to my parents home to see them because he hates my parents for offering him a position at a company they used to work for and he doesn’t want to deal with my bullshit. Recently he came back again (we have separated atleast 30-40 times since we dated) and he told me he was sorry and was ready to change and be with me. He and i began to get sexual again and two days in he told me he was never gonna have sex with me again because i accidently forgot a pill and took a plan b. I found out yesterday he got back on social media and followed 120 women he went to hs with and he refuses to stop talking to them and liking their posts regardless of him telling me he was staying away from women due to his lack of control and that he doesn’t know how not to have inappropriate friendships. I left him and im repulsed by him now and want nothing to do with him because i finally see the reality of how things have always been but i still feel lost.
*would like to add that one of the reasons i convinced myself to stay was i moved across the country and spent all my savings at the time to be with him and moved to an isolated area and felt i only had him because i was three time zones away from any friends or family and i couldn’t find a job while i was living there

By unreleased I mean songs on streaming. Whether you want to count Kitchen Sink, Forest, Glowing Eyes and Lovely is up to you as those are released just not in America.
Counting those I would say my 3 favorites are 1. Save 2. Glowing Eyes (Vessel Bonus Track) 3. Time to Say Goodbye
Not counting those the list changes to 1. Save 2. Time to Say Goodbye 3. Anathema
Two and I Need Something To Kill Me are right on the verge of making my lists

This is also a bit like AmIThe*sshole because I feel like I am ruining her trip but I am going to write down the whole story, even the previous ones. Please tell me what can I do better because I love her a lot and I know that she does too. She is the perfect partner for me(I think) and other than the fights we have when she is on a trip, we rarely ever fight.
Me(26M) and my girlfriend(22 F) have been dating for 10 months, she is Japanese and I am Turkish. I live in Turkey. I use Japanese to communicate as it was my major so not many problems with the language but definitely some because of the cultural difference. We met in Japan when I was doing my exchange and now I will most likely be able to move there in a few months. She is currently doing her own exchange in Australia.
Whenever she goes traveling, she is the type to not message much but expects the opposite from me whenever I go. If I stay at a friends, I talk to her everyday for at least an hour and message a lot. When I don't she either tells me sarcastically "is it that fun for you to be around this girl/guy that you forget me ?" Or just "I miss your voice", which I am both fine with honestly. If the amount isn't enough for her and I can increase, I will talk to her more just so she feels safe and at ease. This time I was the one that initiated the fight and she is not really talking to me right now.
She is now traveling with 2 of her friends to New Zealand. They are all Japanese and one is a guy. This guy, I do not really like because he talks bad about his girlfriend around other girls(this is what my gf told me) and I see it as a way to gain sympathy and I am wary of him. Whenever she is with this guy, she doesn't message me much but when she is with other girls, she can even call me on the phone when they are around. But very rarely with this guy. She says it is rude to talk to me or message me much when she is with other people so when she calls it has to be after they sleep or message me only twice-thrice during the day when the opportunity arises. This might be me overthinking too.
Now They are staying together at an airbnb type hotel, guy one room girls one room. She didn't message me much during the day, sent two photos with two messages related to them but I saw a lot more photos of a lot more places on her stories and told her that I wanted her to send me some like that. She didnt see my messages, it was around 8 pm. Then on her friends story I realized that they were drinking. I waited until 0 am but since there was no contact I called her twice. No reply. called her friend, my gf returned my call and asked what is up. I, very rudely, said that "I am sad and now I do not want to talk to you". I am wrong but she said that her drinking without no contact wouldn't happen and if I could, I could contact her friend if I can't reach her. We close the phone call, no message until 3 am. I am feeling nervous and bad, I ask her why she is not keeping her promises with me by writing a long message. The promises I will talk about on the next paragraph. At this point I start to feel like I am just a person talks to when she doesn't want to be alone.
She made me three promises on unrelated stuff this month but none of them she kept. She said that she would help me prepare for my interview after I asked her and she insisted that we do this as soon as we can, then she forgot. She even wished me good luck on the interview, forgetting that she wanted to help me. I made her remember at the last minute and then she decided to help saying sorry. She told me that she wanted to buy me a perfume for my birthday and had me order it before hand but even after 2 weeks passed she didn't pay for it. I reminded her this, but she said that she didn't forget. I told her that it is fine if she doesn't, her finances might have changed and that she just needs to tell me. Since I don't have much money because of Turkish Lira right now, I feel like I would have appreciated if she either kept her promise or just tell me sorry that she can't do it now. She also promised me that she would call me when she can on her trip and message me more often compared to the ones before.
She now doesn't want to talk to me, take her time. Her friend who I called and messaged(4 messages, 4 unanswered calls at the time), is also ghosting me. I apologized to both of them but not really any other messages I received. My GF is saying that this is the best she can do, she has done her best but cant put more work into messageing or calling me on a trip because it would be disrespectful to her friends.
A bit more background: She went to another trip before with the same friends and a few more and I would get almost no messages or calls during the whole trip. I got mad because when I went on a trip with a lot of people I called her morning and night with a lot of messages in between but she got mad at me, cried on the phone, saying that I had promised to not make her feel alone when I am at the trip. I thought that she was contradicting herself. We fought and reconciled after a time. She said that she was wrong when I was on the trip that time and forgot how easy it is to get caught up in the moment. She had also decided to come to Turkey once, then bailed out and went to Los Angeles thinking that it would be safer than coming here. There she didn't communicate much but was better than the previous trip. She went to her girl friend who is also doing an exchange. Then she said that she would also go to Europe with her next semester which made me sad and angry because I felt like she could also afford coming to Turkey if she can go on trips this much and I was sad that she didn't even consider that. Then after having a very bad experience in America because of her friend she said that she was sorry and should've thought better. She said she wanted to come to Turkey of course but maybe on the way back from Europe or she would tell me only when it was decided because she didn't want to disappoint me my not being able to come to Turkey again.
In general, we rarely ever fight. No other problems regarding communications, we talk and try to understand each other a lot but I am afraid that, maybe my paranoia or insecurity has gotten the best of me and I am losing her.
TLDR; Long Distance gf is on a trip, a guy I dont like is also there in the same hotel. She doesn't tell me that they are drinking and doesnt contact me at all into the night, I panic try to contact her, it takes a long while but when I can I then brush her off. I now regret it, I am trying to communicate with her but I might have f'ked up.
I want to do better because I love her and I don't want to lose her and I ask your advice on what is the best to do.

Hello everyone, I just wanted to post here to thank Kurtis for being there. A close friend of mine chose to end his life early yesterday morning. My partner and I spent all of yesterday surrounded by our community that loved him, but when it came time to go to sleep we couldn’t. The only way we were able to get to sleep last night was due to relaxing and watching one of Kurtis’ videos.
I just wanted to say thank you, Kurtis. You are one of the reasons we’re able to function at all today. What you do is so unbelievably important.

let’s call him mauricio. i don’t even remember when it started, i just know my earliest memory of it was when we were about 2 or 3. we were in my mothers bedroom at my grandmothers house. everyone was in the backyard barbecuing when he starts kissing me and sucking on my face. he told me we were “loving each other.” i didn’t know what that was and i thought it was funny, until my mom shouted at us through the window and asked what we were doing & i responded saying we were loving each other. my mom immediately ran inside and up the stairs and discovered him all over me with a red face and my hair messed up. she got very upset, but his parents just laughed it off and said it was an innocent thing. after that it didn’t happen for a while, until one day he started kissing me again. i finally got to an age where i realized what was happening was wrong and i told him that. he said it was totally normal and that he loved me. when all of our cousins were there he would suggest playing hide and seek in the dark so he could kiss me and grope me without anybody seeing. he would ask all of our parents for sleepovers so he could slip his hand under my shirt as i tried to sleep. if pretend to be asleep and he would grab my hand and put it on his penis and start rubbing. as we got older, the more scared i got. because he got bolder with the things he’d do. as we got older, he got stronger. he was in football his whole life and once he hit puberty, i couldn’t fight back anymore. one time i was chilling in my room and he jumped on top of me and started grinding on me and i was screaming at him and trying to pjs him off, but i couldn’t. he only got off because he heard out other cousin coming, let’s call him alexander. he came in laughing and asking why i was making so much noise, HE made up a lie and they both laughed at me for it. i picked up a spray deodorant in an aluminum can and threw it at his head as hard as i could. he laughed at me and said it didn’t hurt. my other cousin (they were inseparable) looked at me like i was crazy. one night we all stayed at alexander’s house, i thought i was safe. alexander’s house only had one bathroom, and the lock was broken. so one day mauricio convinces his little brother and alexander that it would be a good idea to go into the bathroom while i was showering and dump a bucket of cold water on me and record it. they do it. i get mad. i cry. alexander cries and says he doesn’t know why he did it and he knows it was wrong. years go by and i don’t go back home due to medical problems i was going through. i finally go back. i’m about 17 years old. let me just clarify beforehand that i am not a skinny girl. i’ve always been the chunky cousin. i’m 5’8” and i’ve got chunky arms and i’m strong. apparently not strong enough. i went to my grandmothers house for the holidays. i was asleep in my room. with the door LOCKED. i wake up to the feeling of someone on top of me moving back and forth with their hands in my shirt. i can feel his hardness in between my legs. i immediately try to stop him and try to wiggle out from under him. i kick my legs. i try to push him. he pins my legs down and covers my face with a pillow so that they can’t hear me screaming. he tells me that he’ll get off if i stop screaming and stay still. i do and he gets up. he starts teasing me and asking if i liked it until he hears my mom coming upstairs. he smirks and walks out and goes downstairs to eat breakfast as if nothing happened. that always made me so angry. how he could act like everything was perfectly fine. he would always tell me he loved me and nobody else could have me and that he was gonna love to the US where it was legal to be married to your cousin. i thought he was crazy. but i was so terrified of him i couldn’t bring myself to tell anybody. i also knew he was the star of my family. the first male grandson. always in varsity football. always a straight A student. i knew if i said anything my family would fall apart. finally in 2021, i had just turned 18. he was 19. i went home for the summer. it had been a while since we had all seen each other so we had another slumber party. everyone was upstairs except him. i went downstairs for some water with a knot in my throat knowing he was going to try something. i tried to run past him but he caught me from behind. he groped me and rubbed against my butt and asked me if i could feel it. i started screaming and he covered my mouth and held my hands against my back. then he pushed me onto the floor and got angry that i wasn’t letting him kiss me. before i went downstairs i started recording a voice memos, knowing he was gonna try something. i recorded the struggle. i recorded myself saying, BEGGING no over, and over again. that night i decided i couldn’t take it anymore so i told my older sister about it. after that i told my my mom. after that she told my aunt and my grandma. they all cried and were in disbelief. my aunt asked my younger cousin if he had ever done anything to her and she broke down crying and said that that night when i went upstairs, she went downstairs to watch youtube because the wifi was better in the kitchen. he came up to her and groped her like he did to me and pulled her shirt up and took a picture of her breasts. she was 12. when i found that out i had a panic attack like never before. i was so angry and i felt so guilty. i thought if i would have let him do whatever he wanted to me for the last time he would have NEVER touched her. after that, her mom drove to his parents house and banged on the door to get him to come out. he wasn’t there. he was out partying with friends. they beefed her not to file a police report because if he got arrested he would be killed in jail for being a child molester. my aunt agreed to it and said she wanted a blood test to see if there were any drugs in his system that made him act that way and asked them to put him in a mental institution so he could get help. conveniently enough it came back that he had a drug in his system that night. apparently he went out to drink with friends and he claims they gave him an opened drink and that he started feeling weird after. my uncle who always called me his daughter told me that if it was really against my will that i would’ve spoken up sooner. my grandma defended him endlessly because “he was the outcast of the family now and somebody had to show him love.” i yelled at her that my dead grandpa would beat the hell out of him and forbid that he step foot in his house again and she got so sad at me. i didn’t care. it is true. it’s now been two years since i told everybody. my mom had started speaking to his mom again. his parents and my uncle and my grandma still defend him. i’ve gone through months and months of therapy and spiritual healing so i’m okay now. but every now and then i remember the fear i felt and how weak i felt and i just want to shrivel up and die. my younger cousin and i will never get justice. he will continue to walk around being the star of the family for the rest of our lives. i will have to sit back and watch my grandmother put my abuser before me until the day she dies. i love her, but i cannot forgive her. i cannot forgive my uncle either. they both try so hard to regain my trust and love, but i can’t do it. they’ve betrayed me.