The lottery process of sattaking is called satta king 786. Any boy who thinks of playing the lottery can be said to have played the lottery. satta king 786 plays 786 to satisfy his selfishness. Although no one wants to play satta queen, some people enjoy this game. The film "satta king 786" focuses on personal interests and money. Every person today wants to be rich. satta king 786 is able to draw inspiration from 786 game. The satta king 786 game is inspired and launched according to the penalized process of human beings.Geographically, satta king 786 game has also increased in importance in Tasty Copy country, but this game is seen in the process of completing the post, although this keyboard is not searched all over India, but this type of game is played all over India. Let's not forget that not everyone can be a bettorKing786. When money is running out and the house is struggling to pay its bills, the person may think about getting money from the sattaking game. He may not get 16 but he will earn the rest. If there is a marriage program in any human's home, a tent will be put up. It is decorated with beautiful colors so that everyone feels that the pregnant lady is happy. Our house is loved by all the relatives who visit it. The house is kept clean and painted beautifully so that the house has a unique identity. Every satta king 786 player's house is equally beautiful. The satta-king player is the one who does all the work to make the house beautiful. He does not want others to see his work, but he soon starts to appreciate the great work that he can do. The house customs dictate how marriage is performed. They start to say that this person is satta-king KhatronIs an actor but speaks well for their family. It is our duty and responsibility to be respectful of our relatives in every way. All relatives should be treated with respect. We must also ensure that their food is prepared in a way that will encourage them to think well of us. We should not tell any relatives about satta king. If we tell them our 90 month technique, then they can also use it in satta king. You will also find open scale techniques in the game satta king 786. The player of satta queen should remember that any technique he makes, his house must be secured. This is to ensure that no one outside can get into the house. It is a sin to tell your wife about any technique for satta king. Otherwise, you could be subject to loss again. According to the scriptures, the game satta queen is causing damage on a large scale. Also, it is written in big texts that the larger scale created by people for the game satta king 786, the greater our alliance also breaks down. We shouldn't make an alliance by breaking the alliance at the middle distance. Our party should also be aligned with such a party that can fully support our efforts in the satta king game. It will remain with us forever. You can live together. It is possible to live for the couple. To make sure that the entire loss from the original ideology is not lost, the slip must be stored in a brass utensil. The slip can get spoiled so keep the satta king 786 fail slip in a gold utensil. Today, the value of gold is rising rapidly and the price for gold jewelery is also increasing. Many people don't care about Pari lakshya's precious gold jewelery. They know that when there is a holiday, it rings loudly. Children learn that the bell rings loudly when it is time for their holiday. Awareness is a process that has been observed in this country since ancient times. The more awareness we have, and the greater the loss we will face, the faster we can see the target. The more we get burned, the greater our danger. If a person's monsoon is increasing slowly, then the likelihood of insulting another person increases. It is important to remember that love for our sister and brother should be a priority in life. Some people are not able to love their sister well and they fear giving money to their sister. Your sister should receive as much support as possible. You can't make your lust disappear by giving to your sister. But, tan is able to take away the sleep. Each player of satta may be more tired than the other, but the player who spends more time with God is more deeply absorbed in his soul. Ravana also applied Tilak Banganga Ravana is a great pundit that awakened the nation by applying Tilak Banganga. The only purpose of the satta-king game is to generate public awareness. This public awareness is not for good deeds. It has been created only to get people excited about rare behavior. It is intended to kill insects. The crop is ruined when pesticides are used. The farmer then starts to cry. You want to see that the government is doing something bad for farmers. Your heron has done a lot of damage to the roads. In ancient times, the satta players built a road for their home with their own money. The sequence of the person's actions determines who is awarded the recognition of beauty. Satta king film The justice system runs the process until the person is done with his work. If he does not complete his work, then he cannot be considered a player. To share your experience, a degree is essential. Boys are those who start playing satta king 786 in their youth. As knowledge grows, it is evident in everyone. Knowledge is also promoted at an increasing rate as people get promoted. As knowledge increases, so does the capacity to create policies. However, what happens when the process of becoming mothers is broken down into parts? One king was able to reach a compromise after a dispute broke out between kings in another country. She then took the abuse and removed it through the criteria process. In the activism, women also participated. Our country also teaches women how to pollute power. On a large scale, women also learn in the satta king game. It is important that we encourage women to become satta queens. India can be described as an educated nation where women are respected for not insulting women. When we speak about women, we should not forget to consider things like insulting and inflicting so that you can leave the trust and the trust life resolution process. It is not the only integrity that is supposed to enhance the sharp effects, but it is rare to find life-scattering integrity in Bhagirathi's demise and repelling Dilruba. Some people will tell all about the satta king 786 game to their loved one, which is wrong. It is important to love the girl you fall in love with. We should also tell her everything about love. But, no matter what plans satta king pir has, they never succeed in trying to teach us. The flute can be played by both the mind and the flute. Learning to play the flute should be done slowly. Also, the king should not forget what was left over after consuming it. To do the delivery work, which is due the sum of that person. This office is maintained. My information can be of great use to you throughout the game. Every time I tell something, it is my goal to share the same information to my dear friends. It is this way that I can make every moment of human life more meaningful. Manav should listen to all my information and be able to understand it. Then he can win in the satta king 786 tournament. When a person achieves the destination for victory, I believe that they can increase their speed towards the destination.

1945 -1969
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World war 3 starts in result of the transistor be destroyed or never invended. this also includes other inventions, laws, business, history information, music being destroyed and people being born and the usa as a whole.
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The usa broke up in to parts:
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Us states or union states:
CT, DC, DE, MA, MD, ME, NH, NJ, NY, PA, RI, VT, WV
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Freedom states:
IA, IL, IN, KS, KY, MI, MN, MO, NE, OH, OK,
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Confederate states:
AL, AR, FL, GA , LA, MS, NC, SC, TN, VA
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Independent states:
AK, AZ, CA?, CO, HI, ID, MT, ND?, NM, NV OR?, SD?, TX?, WA?, WY
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allies between states are unknown and independent states are on there own.
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Confederate has taken over human side of the enclave. Why enclave is asking where the vault is so it can be invaded ending the union us and anyone that is not under this enclave. that is because all vaults are under the us flag or people that want the us to be put back together.
So Confederate is now known as the enclave
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China is allies with Confederate so thay can get a procentage of oil in Alaska. The Chinese you see in the us are mercenaries.
It thay did start the nuclear war in 2077 the capital in D.C. would be gone and they would not stop at Alaska they would of keep going through Washington, Oregon and California and maybe Hawaii.
They would have navy ships and a lot of solders to invade the west side of the us but they didn't even touch wa, or, ca it look like that didn't have there navy and soldiers anymore which explains there had to be a nuclear war before October 23 2077.
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The us won the Sino-American War in 2076 the Confederate didn't like that and wanted Alaska oil. or maybe didn't want to lose again ? and so thay started making a nuclear steady with China probably giving more oil percentage to join the war so when October 23 2077 came thay where ready ending the last remaining us within two hours and so the fallout universe begans.
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Zax computer in Washington DC ravin rock was built to help put the country back together.
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If the us loss this war thay would go to space and find a new home.
The vaults where a back up plan if space was a no go. Apparently thay found out that there where spys in vault tec which made The mystery stranger and if the vault where used the mystery stranger would hide within the vault to keep it running right and if the vault dwellers left the vault he or she would keep them safe at all costs.
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In the event that the vaults need to be used all vault tests will be stop except under the circumstances of vaults built around that test will continue either a couple of months or a couple of years. The us made it if the us loses the war the vault dwellers from all vaults will be the backup of the us. one vault dweller will be sworn in as president of the us and another will be sworn in as vice president and so on.
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It is also believe that California was neutral after the great war until the explosion of the oil rig in fallout 2.
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October 23 2077 means the great civil war or the us 2nd civil war.
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Vault tec was probably created a couple of years after ww3 also applying there was a war before October 23 2077 and that the green country lodge bunker was upgrade by vault tec.
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Also there mite be evidence that vault tec builds some vaults under ground to the surface ?
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Confederate spys entered vaults to sabotage the vaults or turn the tests back on.
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Fev virus was made to help get rid of radiation and it also has side effects that includes mutations. Also fev is air, water, ground and any where radiation is it also probably there.
And thay mite of also put 75% in nuclear bombs.
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Brother hood of steel democrats ? or maybe Republicans ?
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Enclave Republicans ? or maybe democrats ?
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The brothers hood of steel from fallout 3 is the last remaining democrats or Republicans from California also brother hood of steel mission is to not let civil war or any war happen again in the us. also fallout 3 brother hood of steel outcast is from Washington DC or wherever fallout 3 take place.
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Canada is temporary annex in two places one over washington to Alaska and the other over North Dakota to Alaska.
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Also Mexico was nuke or bombed by whatever part of the us thay attack.
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Also Mexico and south America are dieing or dead because of the new different creature released or made in the wasteland and the deathclaws where created by the Confederate releasing by accident or on the battlefield. the us created the scorchbeast to encounter this.
South America has no power armor no vaults only regular bunkers.
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In fallout 3 dlc mothership zeta the laser beam that hits earth is probably the glowing sea ground zero in fallout 4 because you don't see a nuke falling and the mushroom cloud is much bigger than the nuke from fallout 3 and fallout 76 and when you see the mushroom cloud from space it look like it is the same cloud. also if if is from the lazer 95% of everyone in Boston is dead or a feral ghoul. This making father insane making people that he could save into syths if thay where turned into a feral ghoul is was all ready to late. The blast also effect the vaults vault 111 complete computer failure, vault 81 mole rat escape, vault 95 damage inter walls. Thay never got the warning untell it was to late also it possible that the ground zero in the glowing sea it would have been 5,000 to 15,000 rads after the hit. also you know that guy from the beginning from vault tec and thay didn't let him in the vault if thay let him in fallout 4 possibly would have been a defant game or would have never come out at all.
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After October 23 2077 one state to take over the whole us ?
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Did the Confederate or union mess up the US money ?
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Was child of Adam made before the great war ?
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Would nuclear winter push new
creatures in to south America ?
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Vault 120 somewhere off the coast of the us or Alaska or Hawaii and maybe more vaults are under water or on the cost ?
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Japan and taiwan is under China's government possibly ?
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Korea is whole again maybe ?
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India and Pakistan war at each other ?
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Evidence:
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1: the us flag 13 stars
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2: no one is cleaning or rebuilding city's
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3: you can nuke city's with in us borders and there are planes and military tanks, apcs, big cannons which should be on the shore line or overseas or in the ocean
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4: us robots attacking
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5: people attacking others for no reason. Not over food or water(1-5 rads will not stop someone from drinking or eating also rad away and rad-x will helps with that. ) but territory
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6: the capital is still there but the white house and part of the history museum is gone
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7: a us t45 power armor shooting a us combat armor solder in fallout 1
And the background look to be in the us and in fallout 3 trailer the soldiers that are fighting at each catheter look to have the same uniform
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8: some animals may of gone extinct in world war 3 and even more in Oct 23 2077.brahmin Not one regular cow. Also cows would take generations to become brahmin
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9: the geck should of been made during the great war or after not before the war this is also why there had to be a war before October 23 2077
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Will the us return back to the usa or is it gone forever stay tuned for the fallout tv show or the next fallout in the game series.

I wrote out a novel pouring my heart out but my phone died and lost the what I wanted to post, I refuse to write it again and go through the same awful emotions. I was feeling so strong and confident up to 6 days after cold turkeying a short 4 weeks IV meth habit. My use went from .1 smoked in a couple days, to .1 being injected at once, to a week later injecting half a gram of fucking meth into my veins, missing, loading an even bigger shot (that’ll show that missed shot that I mean business) and proceeded to IV that. I’ve only ever had one meth run last summer but I never let it get to beyond .2 per shot, and I quit with relatively no cravings or issues other than feeling down and tired. My ex left me after I did everything for the girl I’m my power, and instead of trying to better myself so I can find a better partner, I weaseled my way back to meth, when opiates were my real addiction for a decade (now I only crave IV meth) and it got bad quickly. I met a beautiful and wonderful girl during my latest meth run but I wasn’t using daily. My connect/friend would only sell me half a gram every week so I wouldn’t overdo it, and in hindsight I thank him, but then I found a trustworthy guy who does 2g’s of quality for $100 which is a really good price here, and that’s when I started doing the big shots. I lost 20 pounds in 2 months, my use getting worse and worse, to where at the end it was daily, then even more towards the very end it was all day, the effect stopped being magical like it once was. But the entire time this amazing girl is showing me genuine interest and caring even though I told her my past drug use (not the most current) and I started getting really strong feelings for her. She said she’d leave me if I ever did anything other than weed or alcohol, but I wasn’t going to tell her my true addiction right away, she’s head for the hills, then I also feel terrible that this girl thinks I’m this amazingly sensitive, honest, and good guy who treats her well and cares about anything involving her life and life experiences, which I genuinely am, I’m honest to a fault EXCEPT for my current drug use because I don’t want to be defined as a drug addict when I’ve had 5 years clean time before, and most recently 6 months. It isn’t fair to this girl who might be the best and most genuine person I’ve ever met. I want 30 days clean time before I tell her what was really going on when she met me so she can see that I’m serious. I go to an addiction group 3 times a week for 3 hours at a time (my suboxone clinic knows I’ve been using meth and want me in this addiction group/IOP giving drug tests twice a week and getting my heart rate and blood pressure checked everyday so they know I’m not using) I have a therapist and a nurse practitioner working together to do whatever they can to help me, through my past opiate addiction to now this, they’ve never given up on me. Without getting into detail I hold a full time job because I have disability in my immediate family and they rely on part of my paycheck to live, I cannot go to rehab because my family wouldn’t survive without my part I help with. I have plenty of support outside of an inpatient rehab, everyone in my life cares for me. I’ve never stolen from anybody to get high, I always use alone for reasons I don’t know, however if I’m being honest I just have an obsession with getting high and feeling intense euphoria and will use any excuse to justify using. Right now I need your help in the form of advice. What do I do? I stopped for 6 days successfully, getting through the worst part of the withdrawal with zero cravings, to cravings that came out of nowhere where I’m messaging my dealer 10 seconds after my initial thought, like I’m not even controlling my actions or making decisions. I’m panicking, I’m crying writing this, I don’t want to be like this. I’ve spent every day and night at this girls apartment, we are officially dating and she wants me to move in with her, she’s gorgeous, she’s nice, she’s successful. Right now I don’t deserve her, she deserves to know the truth so she can make her decision if she wants to deal with that, I just want 4 weeks clean time. She’s not suspicious even though I put on 18 pounds in the 6days I quit because I couldn’t stop eating, but it all went into my muscles that were screaming for carbohydrates and protein, can be explained by some creatine and extra food. I can’t consciously lie to her because I don’t want to lose her, she doesn’t deserve that, and I can’t live with myself if I don’t tell her the truth soon. If I wait longer I’d maybe be trapping her into a choice she wouldn’t have made had she known the truth. How can I feel so confident about being done with this disgusting shit for 6 days while I’m withdrawal, to having intense cravings I couldn’t control once I started feeling better without the substance. It’s not fair. I hate being like this. I dont deserve a girl like her, if I could man up and stay clean then I definitely deserve her because I treat her like an Angel as she deserves IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE, but the lying about the drugs part. In my whole life I’ve been a strictly honest person, except when it comes to my most current drug use, because I don’t want to be defined as an addict because I’m much more than that. I need to stop crystal meth before I lose the entire life I’ve come to know and love, if I stop now, I don’t have to lose everything I worked so hard for. I want to stop so deeply in my soul. Please tell me what to do. Please. How can you manage the cravings specifically for IV meth. Getting off of heroin/fent was hard, but the cravings to get that rush weren’t as intense as from meth. Only scary part was the physical withdrawal. For meth it’s the mental withdrawal after successfully detoxing, what can I do? Or would letting myself die from a drug overdose be my only option of some relief. 6% of meth users can quit for good, that’s all routes of administration, I’m using the most abusable method so my chances are even lower. I’m determined to not let this slip up fuck up my entire recovery, I just need to be told what to do and how to cope with the cravings that come out of NO WHERE. Please help me, I’m begging you guys

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The floor of the cell is covered in decades of mildew and dust. This disgusting carpet does nothing to dull the pain as I skip across it, thrown in by someone with the intention of making a point.
My Name’s Mike, and if any of you are the types to go on a deep dive, you probably know A little about me already.
For those of you that don’t, Jesus I don’t know exactly where to begin.
The Cliff’s notes would be that I spent a little over a decade either being a serial killer or a vigilante. I won’t try to justify my actions, both of those are just sides of the same shitty coin. I’m not a person to be idolized or emulated, so I choose not to plead my case.
Now, while I thought that was just about as screwed up as life could get, one day, out of the blue, after burying my best, fuck, my only friend I found myself, somewhere else. A world that looked and felt like mine, but one where the things that go bump in the night actually existed.
Where I came from, I’d seen monsters, to be sure, but only the kind that happen when people break.
Since I’ve been here? Got caught up in some demented gameshow for demons or something, threw a massive shit in the punch bowl of the thing running the production, and got the world’s unluckiest man his freedom.
And that leads me to my current situation, staring down the rage filled, mildly bruised face of that asshole, that fucking, demonic Ted Turner, Art.
He runs a hand aggressively through his slicked back hair, standing at the door to my cell.
“Looks like your little plan didn’t work, exactly as I predicted, you fuck.
I mean, great try with the little cat thing you had, honestly didn’t see that coming. But, Jesus, Mike, what was your end game? “ Art gloats.
“Cards on the table? It was a lot better, but shit fell through, that whiskey abomination, it was the one that ratted me out I assume?
That being said, still got Kev out. And you can’t really ‘flip off his lightswitch’ if he didn’t let you screw around with his wiring, can you? “ I grin, I keep it, even as a Gucci shoe slams into my face.
Am I scared? Of God damn course I am, I’ve been pissing myself (metaphorically speaking.) since I realised that the rules of reality don’t really apply any more.
Every new grain of sand on the beach of hell my life has become, tosses me further down the road of mental failure. Shit, that’s half of what fucked up my last plan in the first place.
If I could have just kept my shit together long enough, I’d be sipping a beer with Kev in some shit hole town somewhere. But the only thing harder than trying to stamp down fear in the face of God’s and monsters, is trying to do it while projecting some kind of ‘death fears me ‘ persona.
Between you and I? Death doesn’t fear me, in fact, it seems to love to hang around. And every day I have to stare down that grim spectre, the closer I get to losing the tenuous grip on reality I have .
“Oh, fuck Kev. He’s smart enough to stay off my radar, and too stupid to figure out a way to come back at me.
He's got a 1 bedroom in Idaho or something? Salud, good on him.
You, I had high hopes for, and then you decide to wipe your ass all over my carpet, cost me more than I could even explain, and even, get me a little roughed up. My favorite shell, anyway.
I want to recoup some loses Mike. So, you, get to be a part of another one of my projects.
You thought The Path was bad? Oh, you literal, fucking clown, you haven’t seen anything.
I won’t spoil it for you, the devil’s in the details and all, but you know what everyone loves?
Prison.
Not being in it themselves, of course, but seeing others, especially those they hate in there.
This place isn’t fair, the path was a boxing match with Queensbury rules, this is a handcuffed knife fight.
And I can’t wait to see you figure out, all the little surprises it has in store for you. “ Art laughs and tosses me a battered, ancient looking smartphone, “ Feel free to drum me up some good press online if you want. “
My heart is pounding, I have to use every bit of will I have to stop from shaking, to roll my neck and sit against the cold, padless cement bed behind me.
I feel sick, my stomach boiling and gurgling.
“For the love of whatever the demonic equivalent of Christ is, why not just kill me? I’m right here, I have no way of fighting back, and you know damn well that if you give me enough time, I’m going to find a way to wipe my ass on your doorframe next. “ My tone is flippant, or at least, I hope it is.
“The ego on you kid, you think you’re that guy don’t you?
They exist, don’t get me wrong, probably a couple thousand folks capable of taking me out, but trust me, you are not one of them.
This isn’t some ‘Arch’ idiocy where I leave my greatest rival alive. This is me watching you squirm because I can, and making a little profit on the deal.
Don’t flatter yourself. “ Art has produced a long thin knife as he talks, he spins and rolls it absently.
“Before your guys dragged me off, I met something. A corner store, I don’t know if it was haunted, possessed, or if it was some kind of creature that just decided to look like a knock off 7-11.
Point being, it was out there, ethereal, I couldn’t hurt it, outwit it, even slow it down. I ran from that thing as fast as I could. It gave me some serious Lovecraft vibes.
You, Art, are not that guy. “ I notice myself tapping my finger nervously on the slime covered floor, I focus, stopping the tic.
The tip of Art’s knife glows, the sick, grey sheen isn’t heat, but something that makes me start to back up.
“I am, but you will never see that. You’re not worth the effort.
I want to give you a little something though. “ Art stalks toward me, I stand as I back into the farthest corner of the cell, “ Proud of your face paint were you? “
Art grins, and for a moment lets some of his true self slip through. For just a moment I see timeless horror in his eyes, a dark black void of consumed souls and unrestrained evil.
That knife parts my flesh with pain like a whip. Without even using the blade, it’s presence flenses my face, opening up raw, textured furrows in my flesh.
He leaves after he is done, laughing to himself.
The pain makes me black out, my stomach is boiling, I come to dry heaving, the effort sends me back into the oblivion of sleep.
I don’t know how long has passed, my face feels like it is on fire, and the thick steel bars of my cell door are closed.
It takes me two minutes of cupping my hands under the grime laden steel tap to get enough water to clear off a spot on the rusted, old, wall mounted steel mirror.
No mortal hand could have scarred me as accurately as Art did. The wounds, not healed, but cauterised as to not make me bleed out, used depth, and width, to create a colorless replica of my makeup.
I know trauma, physical as well as mental, and these are scars that will never heal. As the fact sinks in that my face is literally no longer my own, I scream, heart pounding, I split open my knees on the cold cement floor.
Pain flares, threatens to send me back to the bliss of unconsciousness, but I don’t care.
I read Kev’s journals, and they paint me in a really… positive light, in a sense.
What I mean is, going by what he thought he saw, I’m some kind of supervillian or something. Tossing three hundred pound air conditioners ( it was the outer shell, seventy pounds, physics and luck did the rest.), wrestling Art ( I was clinging on for dear life, had it not been for Jr and the mass of denizens, I’d have been killed with a flick of his wrist.), or appearing like a ghost (people, even immortal are very unobservant. Especially in an emergency.).
I’m great at seeming horrifying, and that’s a weapon in and of itself, but at the end of the day, that’s all it is.
Kneeling in my own blood, vision blurry with pain, I realise how small, vulnerable, and unarmed I truly am.
By the time daylight shines through the yellow reinforced glass window, I’m already awake. I’ve spent an hour and a half calming myself, trying to find some focus, some centre to keep me going.
I’ve been in prison before, back home, first and last time I tried plying my trade outside of America.
Being the stupid payaso gringo that I am I bit off so much more than I can chew that I wound up choking on it for 2 months in a Mexican prison.
The routine of, count, lineup, chow, remained the same.
The demographics of the population on the other hand…
Being observant is one of my main skills and as I was brought into the absurdly sized cafeteria, I was taken aback at just how many people were here.
Tens of Thousands, easily, maybe a hundred. I try and think of how many missing person cases this accounts for, and even that math doesn’t quite add up.
I quickly inventory the groups that make up the place, not that it wasn’t obvious.
The first, of course are the guards. Some, the majority, appear to be human, well geared up and in intimidating physical condition.
But a handful, they are clearly, something else. Some are smooth featured ebony skinned giants, carrying truncheons that could crush a car engine. Others are grinning, pale skinned bad attempts at human copies, wild eyed and twitching.
Second would be what I called the cultists. They all appeared to style themselves after certain tropes and urban legends, clearly human, but dressing, tattooing and mutilating themselves to appear like, myths, legends, and monsters.
The subtle violence I see tells me I’ve found the gangs.
Third are the Everymen, I can’t see any kind of pattern to them, but they seem to make up the majority of the population. They keep their distance from the guards and the cultists, but on more than one occasion I see then stand, united against attempts at extortion.
The last group, I call the candles, people that are clearly on their way out mentally and physically. Sunken eyed, and set upon from all angles, at any moment these folks could be simply snuffed out.
I keep my distance, and stay respectful, the meandering, twisting line seems to take hours to get me my thick slice of crumbling yellow bread, and thick red slurry that reminds me of porridge masquerading as meat.
My coat is gone but I’m left with the majority of the clothing I fashioned back in the path. I see a mix of unwashed orange uniforms and ‘civilian’ clothing, some of the cultists, bordering more on costume than wardrobe.
As the massive, butchers apron wearing man in smeared clown makeup sits down, I wish I’d have been issued something more generic. I saw this coming the second I noticed a lump of Chlorophiles in blood stained getups.
“You sit with us. “ I can’t tell if it’s an accent or speech pattern, the clown sounds strange, either way.
I eat a spoonful of the red sludge.
“No disrespect intended, I’m not one for clubs. I’m going to make no waves, no plays, nothing. I’m a ghost. “ I say, levelly, avoiding eye contact.
Why, you might ask, having been told about my adventures in murder.
Well, that’s just it. Murder is easy, and any time you saw me end a life, it was just that.
A fight, that’s another thing entirely, especially against someone with a significant weight and height advantage.
“Not asking. You got friends. “ The massive clown moves his bulk closer, it’s like sitting next to a forklift.
I eat the bread, it tastes amazing until I swallow, then has a foul, chemical aftertaste.
I drink some tepid, burgundy fluid that might be caffeinated.
No weapons nearby, no one watching that might step in. I’m full of bruises and sprains, and probably anemic from blood loss. Not to mention one eye is running at about fifty per cent. Art didn’t sever the optic nerve last time, but he wasn’t gentle. My heart races.
“I don’t play well with people who take clowning and slap a coat of dark paint on it.
You guys are Clown Killers. You are good at killing, I’m sure, but the clown part, it’s tacked on.
Myself, I’m a killer clown…. “ I had a really good rant planned, honestly, it was a corker, douche bags would have used it in memes for a decade.
But before I can react, with one massive hand, he bounces my face off of the pitted steel table.
It rings my bell, but not as much as I let on. In clowning terms, what I do Is called a pratfall.
For those of you that don’t speak nerd, I oversell the hit, falling backwards, eyes fluttering.
I tip backwards, reaching out my left arm, as if to steady myself. The meat mountain is unbothered, knowing I have no chance unarmed, in this close, he let’s me grab one shoulder of the butchers apron. The material is thick, and matted in stains that will never come out, literally or metaphorically.
If you want to take someone out, in a relatively harmless way, you don’t want to choke them. It takes forever, usually ends up killing them, and generally is a bad idea for everyone involved.
Your goal is go cut off blood flow to the brain as quickly and fully as possible.
I hook my thumb around the opposite shoulder strap, and snap my body backward, the apron acting as an impromptu Garrotte.
His right arm is knotted through my left, as he tries to struggle, to put his murderous intent and ability to work, the choke only becomes tighter.
I don’t want enemies here, and I only have so many tricks to play before things come to a knock down drag out fight, so I leave the clown unharmed.
I do need friends, but the look I get as I take a seat at a loose collection of men is cold and fearful.
A red haired guy, five foot nine or so, makes eye contact, “Anything we can help you with? “ he says, fearless.
“Yeah, despite the face work I’ve had done, I have fuck all in common with any of those penny wise, Icp, Gacy dressed, assholes.
I need a tribe guys, you all look like the unlucky ones around here, but I don’t want to get involved in bloodshed.
I’m Mike “ I know, that’s only mostly true, but I mean it, either way. I extend a hand.
“Chris. “ the red haired guy says, he wears a white dress shirt and surprisingly blue jeans, “Those stains around your cuffs tell me otherwise.
If you’re telling the truth, that’s great. If you are lying, and still sane enough to keep your word, that’s even better. “ Chris’s tone is mirthless, I read him easily. He’s been here a long time for a short life, he looks thirty max, and I shudder to think how young he may have been when he came in.
Chris catches me up on the ins and outs of this place, beyond what a general knowledge of prison would give.
Everyone here has crimes they were not convicted of, that would, otherwise put them in jail for life. A large amount, obviously are murderers, torturers, real bastards.
But a significant minority are just regular folks, maybe a bit thoughtless, but that have collected a litany of small, petty, in cases almost victim less crimes.
No one seems to be aware of the… reality t.v. Meets demonic fast food aspect of things, but there is a Doom cherry on this fear Sunday.
There is a single way someone can get out. To earn 20 tokens.
And how does one earn these tokens you ask?
Each day the prison holds an event, to call it a challenge would insinuate a level of fair play that is simply not there. The events range from somewhat fair, a fight or game of chance, to esoteric rituals complex enough to rip someone’s soul from their body.
These tokens are also the sole form of currency in the prison, they can buy everything from commissary snacks to literal free passes from guards.
The economy has created a cut throat society, the heads of the cults not even taking advantage of being able to be free, but simply reveling in the power of being psychotic and enabled.
The weak are enslaved, their lives traded on the off chance at tokens.
So, of course, braindead asshole that I am, I signed myself right up. Feeling a little more confidant after climbing Mount Bozo.
It's 8pm and the volunteers are rounded up and brought to a massive room that has all the trappings of a gymnasium, but the scale is large enough easily hold the focus of tonight’s events.
In tiered bleachers all around us, our fellow prisoners cheer and scream. The smell of thousands of unwashed, men is overpowering, the din of excitement is deafening.
But my attention is focussed on the small, single floor home, sitting out of place in the middle of the polished wood floor.
What I wouldn’t give for Demi to appear right now, give me the low down on all the supernatural bullshit that is heading my way. But the longer we stayed in the mountain the less and less the most useful voice in my head could, or would, make an appearance.
I study each of my fellow volunteers, the goal seems simple, last the longest in the home. Men enter and leave within minutes. They come out looking shaken, with minor lacerations, and a general sense of shell shock.
By the time my turn arrives, I think I know what I’m in for.
I’m wrong.
As the baby blue door closes behind me, nothing immediately in the home causes me concern. The fixtures and furniture is a bit out of date, the lighting is, not inviting, and there is a general fog of gloom hanging around.
I smile, I’ve felt this before. Granted I had Demi feeding me supernatural errata at the time, but, I’m positive I can wing it.
“So, I think I may have met one of you guys before. Back in New York, a Happy-Face corner store, anyone you know?
Scary dude, took a couple of pieces out of me.
But this, it’s more like an MMA fight, right? I tap out when you start kicking my ass? “ I stretch, trying to see if I’m getting any kind of reaction.
I inventory the objects around me, last time everything that wasn’t nailed down, shifted, changed and tried to take me apart.
You may have noticed by now, I love using the phrase ‘ last time’, and that’s because up until this moment, I haven’t learned a fucking thing here.
Mike’s first rule of paranormal survival, last time means nothing.
“It’s you” the voice is young, late teens, and male.
I spin, expecting violence, then, wishing violence.
I know the young man, not this pale, older, revenant with a self inflicted gunshot wound, but I know him none the less.
I’m not being metaphorical when I say my heart misses a beat, I almost fall over, pounding at my chest to stop it’s arythmatic pounding.
I knew what happened to him, found it out long after I could do anything about it. And wasn’t in the best of places when I did.
I’ll call him a ghost for simplicity sake, but this kid, he’s my first, and biggest mistake.
I based who I turned into on finding what I thought was one of the worst people on earth. This kid’s father.
I did things to him worthy of what I knew he did. And to top it all off, I had him die by his wife’s hand.
Well, a decade later I find out, the guy wasn’t a Saint, but he didn’t do anything worthy of the twisted shit I put him through.
I got wind of some false information put out there in a moment of rage by a tech savvy ten year old. The kid never intended it to see the light of day
“I found out about you Mike, I saw that you were a hero. “ The voice is thin echoes like a stuck record.
“No kid, don’t think that. “ I mumble, I’m shaking, the air is freezing, each breath comes out as white mist.
I’m sitting on the flower printed couch now, and it hits me.
I’d assumed because Art couldn’t screw around in my head last time, the same went for everything here.
Remember what we said about last time.
“My told me what happened one night, what I made you do.
I destroyed her memory of him, I made a real Hero kill him, I couldn’t keep hurting people. “ I can see images, flashing in my mind, memories that are not mine.
I’m counting seconds, trying to focus, trying to stay long enough to get the token. It has to have been fifteen, twenty minutes at least.
I try to work up a smirk, to convince myself that I’m just being played by the paranormal equivalent of a heckler.
That’s not it though, This place, this house, is reaching inside me and finding places to look. As I stare into the young man’s rotted eyes I know this is some part of him, torn away from whatever rest he was entitled to.
The lights dim, then turn off. The house is silent.
Hollywood gets being both a lunatic and a hitman wrong in equal measure. No matter how much morality you want to inject into the profession, there are going to come times when you make mistakes.
As the lights slowly turn to a dull orange glow, I’m surrounded by the hovering, mutilated forms of mine.
Those that died that could have been spared, those that died because of my inaction, or stupidity. I’ve never forgotten them, I use them to make sure I never make the same mistakes again, but having them looming, screaming, all demanding I hear their stories, their accusations, their placations.
It's too much, I stumble from the couch, trying to avoid the icy touch of these phantoms. For a moment I find some last scrap of courage, I close my eyes, shut out the shrieking din of the dead.
The silence hits like a truck, I focus, trying to calm my burned out nerves.
Then they are reignited like a fucking welding torch.
“This place didn’t bring us here.
We’ve been right next to you for years Mike. We can’t leave. “ The voice of my first mistake.
Like a toddler I try to run with my eyes closed, I trip over a glass coffee table, clawing my way up the door, grasping at the handle.
I can feel a slight pull now, almost magnetic, trying to drag me backwards.
My hands shake too much, I have to steady my right wrist with my left hand, the floor becomes slick, I see the door, escape start to move further away as I’m pulled backward.
I've taken a hit or two, and had a couple of three day benders that have made me piss myself. But as I stumble, trying to make progress on the nearly friction less floor, I have another unpleasant first experience.
I grab the handle, pulling myself out of the house, launching my body into a skin peeling tumble across unforgiving plank flooring.
I’m a shaking, fetal wreck, by the time I’ve pulled myself together enough to take in my surroundings, I see the red Led clock displaying my time.
42 seconds. Bottom of the barrel. The jeers and booing from the crowd do nothing for my frayed nerves or the storm of fear and anxiety going through my mind.
I’m exhausted, but I can’t sleep, it has nothing to do with the concrete slab that serves as my bed.
My stomach has been knotting and cramping, with each passing second I get more worried I blew some internal gasket in one of the many life or death struggles in the past months.
When I finally manage to vomit, the urge is strong enough I get no where near the filth crusted hole in the floor that serves as my toilet. And my worst fears are confirmed as I see the massive pile of vomit is mostly blood.
… and bones? Is that an eyeball? A piece of fur?
The mass begins to pull itself together, bits and pieces forming the most rudimentary attempt at a face.
“Junior? “ I say, stunned.

You Matter to Her in a Way No One Else Could
When you died and were reborn, you became divine. You were love, and you were violence, and you were my miracle. A God sprung forth from the decaying machinery of your broken body. Koishi, the God of Love and Hate—have mercy on us all.
Down by the shore of one of the great Lunar seas, there sat a lonely shack thatched with feathers. Inside, there was a massive wani no less than eight leagues long… and her infant son. To that crocodile who had never known true familial love, that delicate little child—who cooed and smiled at his mother’s every move—was nothing less than a miracle. Such a delicate life in her claws, who knew nothing but unconditional love for his mother—to the crocodile, it was proof there was still good in the world.
She was tired, but the crocodile forced herself to stay awake. There was something she needed to do—a memory she wanted to share with the most important person in her life.
So, with all the caution and tenderness in the world, she picked up her child with her jaws and coaxed him into her throat pouch. The newborn child, perhaps having some shared instinct with his crocodilian mother, did not cry or struggle. Instead, he let out a giggle as he poked his head out from between his mother’s jagged teeth. With a snort, the dragon climbed out of her thatch hut, and crawled along the shore, drawing a meandering trail in the sand as she went.
When she reached the point where the water came to shore in gentle waves, the crocodile set herself down in the sand, letting the waves wash in and lick at her child in gentle sprays. Her child giggled as the Lunar sea’s tickled him with its pure waters, and as he did, his mother couldn’t help but feel at peace.
Nothing. Nothing at all would be able to take this from her.
Her miracle.
Toyohime opened her eye to clear blue skies.
She flexed her fingers, and instead of feeling the cold steel of the ship she started to tear apart, she felt so many tiny pebbles, warmed by their time in the sun. Sand? She brought a fistful of the stuff into her vision, before letting it fall through her fingers and run down her face. It was too real to be a dream.
Toyohime sat up to observe her surroundings. As far as the eye could see, there were infinite stretches of sand collected into wind-swept dunes that obscured the horizon. It was hot. Unbelievably so for what was supposedly the void. She felt a gentle gust of warm wind pass by her and toss her hair. This place… this impossible place… was she dead?
She rose to her feet, fighting biting aches and pains from her battle not too long ago. No—not dead. Somehow, she had survived—there was no other explanation. And as she looked down to assess the damage she had taken, her suspicions were only confirmed. Her right arm was missing, and in its place was nothing but a healed stump. The nasty cuts and bruises she had received in the fighting had all healed over for the most part, the only evidence they happened at all being residual scars that were yet to disappear. The ground was covered in dried blood. She must’ve been laying here in this sand trap for hours.
She brought her free arm, completely healed, up to the general space where her right eye was to find an arrow still protruding from it. Wrapping her fingers around the shaft, Toyohime tore it out in a fluid motion, causing the wound to reopen and drip blood onto the sands below. But, through some miraculous action, it was mere moments before the flow of blood stopped as the wound healed shut. Her right eye was still inoperable, but this healing ability was downright uncanny, even for a god.
She flexed her fingers. It felt like there was a hole in her head from which memories and feelings poured out. The mystery of how she got here, who she killed, and whether she could even trust her own senses had no answer—Toyohime knew she herself had made sure of that. She supposed there was a good reason. The less she knew, the better. That was something she could trick herself into believing.
Though no matter how much she forced herself to forget, she had the horrible feeling she had done something unforgivable—something she would kill over. In a sea of atrocities however, she could hardly even begin to suppose what that might have been. Maybe the heat was starting to fry her brain.
After spending a few minutes snapping the arrows lodged in her body by their shafts, Toyohime looked to the horizon, and then up. Ahead, there was a massive sand dune, no less than five times her height, and beyond the crest—a black pillar of smoke. Toyohime was not alone.
As she made her way up the shifting incline, Toyohime got to thinking about her next course of action. If this wasn’t a hallucination, then it most certainly had to be some extension of Koishi's will. Land in an impossible space… the creation of something impossible like that could only be a factor of a deteriorating mind, or God. And Toyohime had no time to consider the possibility of a crumbling psyche—not when she had a duty left unfulfilled.
But then… that would mean this was the paradise of Koishi’s mind. Surely, by her side is where she would find her salvation. She had already come to terms with it—that there was nothing left for her in the old world. Koishi could pervert and corrupt reality in whatever twisted ways she wanted—as long as it was the creation of her heart, it would be sufficient. Everything beyond that was not worth saving to the former princess.
… But that also meant there would be more enemies. More people she had to kill. She was ready. Ready to kill and ready to die in the name of love.
And as she planted her boot upon the peak of that sand dune, she saw the whole world become bare before her. A fair distance away was the crashed wreck of a golden ship, releasing plumes of black smoke as it burnt away. From this distance, it was difficult to make out any finer details, but she was sure the occupants had escaped. Satori was resourceful and stubborn, if nothing else. Dying in a crash was an impossibility.
She then traced a line from the ship through the shifting sands—to a city upon the horizon. Massive towers of glass and steel pushing against the sky, half buried in the sand, bending light around them as they reflected the intense heat of the sun. It gave the sight an unnatural fuzziness, as if the city was threatening to disappear at any moment.
As she traced the decaying visage of those buildings upwards, she saw a thin line reach beyond and into the sky. The line separated into two before converging back on itself. Above the city, etched upon the sky itself, was a pitch black gap in reality, opened and filled with so many eyes. And above still, the object of Toyohime’s desires and her sole driving factor—Koishi Komeiji.
Though the God’s eye was open, as well as the myriad collection of smaller eyes and drooling jaws that had lined every square inch of her squirming appendages, it was hard to tell if she was awake or conscious. Toyohime knew Koishi best, and if she had any guess as to what Koishi had been doing in the time they spent apart, it was receding back into the numbing comfort of her own mind. Even now, Toyohime figured she was still dreaming, avoiding the cruel weight of her responsibility. What manifested outside of her mind must’ve been some sort of twisted runoff.
Down there, hidden in the dunes, Toyohime knew there were those who would take this dream from Koishi. Those who would hurt Koishi. Those people would’ve done just as well to dig their own graves and build their own coffins. Because so long as Toyohime drew breath, she would protect Koishi with everything she could muster—that was her promise and the nature of her impossible, unconditional love.
Koishi was Toyohime’s second chance.
This time, one way or another, there would be no opportunity for a third.
Mima, on the other hand, had woken up quite a bit earlier than Toyohime had.
She had not suffered any fatal wounds or debilitating strikes leading up to the point where the reality around her started to crumble and distort—but she had briefly lost consciousness regardless. She figured that might’ve been a good thing; an action so absurd and so against everything she knew, perpetrated by an impossibly powerful being… even if a mere glimpse didn’t physically tear her mind to ribbons, she had no interest in trying to understand such a nonsensical event.
Mima awoke not in a desert, but in a grand sprawling city of seemingly human construction. Though the sun still hung overhead, the impossible hills and mountains of sand that caged the city in, always seemed to shift and move in the most calculated way… such that the sun was always put out. Caught in the shade, the city looked like it was in a perpetual night, in spite of the blinding yellow of the endless desert just beyond its limits.
Though that was the case, the city was far from dark. Street lamps, blinding neon signs, blinking traffic lights, apartments and houses with windows illuminated by the fluorescent lights within… It gave the impression the city was alive. It seemed exactly as a real bustling city at night, with its breathing and blinking—but there were no people. No matter how far Mima walked, no matter how many buildings she popped in, she would encounter no souls. She would find, in those buildings, immaculate setpieces filled with lived-in charm, hints and implications of life—but not people. Not even Yukari, who she wandered the streets in search of.
She recognized this place. This city—Tokyo. It couldn’t have possibly been, but it was the same Tokyo she grew up in, back before the Moonlight Descent and before the Kaiju. Before her chance meeting with the youkai who used to be her friend. This city, trapped in the middle of the desert, caught in an artificial night that obscured the flow of time—somehow it managed to be the perfect recreation of a long lost city, as if someone had taken a scalpel to the part of Mima’s brain that held onto the precious memories of her past life. It was comforting, being back in familiar territory, but it also carried along a pervasive uneasiness. The nostalgia said it was real, but the rational mind knew better than to buy into an impossible mirage—made all the more uneasy by the deathly silence of its streets.
After wandering around for a dozen minutes or more, Mima eventually came to find Yukari in a 24-hour fast food joint. She was sitting, out of her suit and miraculously healed, on a stool that faced the street outside, with her head down and a small pool of drool collecting at the point where the corner of her mouth met the countertop. Renko always said Maribel could fall asleep anywhere.
Mima floated back and forth around the gently snoring form of Yukari for a bit, considering her options. She changed back into her Renko form for a second, and after adjusting her hat a little, she reached over to tap Yukari on the shoulder… but then shied away. Glancing at Yukari, then back to her bag, she rummaged through its bottomless contents and pulled out a whole host of items: hand mirrors, makeup kits, two liter bottles of listerine, mints and peppermint breath spray and assorted beauty products.
She stole a quick glance back at Yukari to make sure she was asleep before going at it—in one go, she dumped every minty product she could into her mouth before swishing the unholy mixture in her mouth. It was not a moment later that she coughed out all of that liquid ice with a retch and a gag. Sheepishly, she turned her head to see if Yukari had woken up in all the commotion. Luckily, she was still knocked out something fierce. Mima might’ve guessed she was dead, if it weren’t for the occasional snore.
Undeterred, she opened a hand mirror and began to apply her makeup. Carefully. There was a subtle art to it—she only needed enough to hide any unsightly blemishes she might’ve gotten from her rather shut-in lifestyle as a ghost. Anything more, and Maribel was bound to notice Mima was purposefully fixing her appearance around her. None of that. Mima was trying for a more subliminal approach… It’s what worked in the past, after all.
Well, upon further thought, Mima figured “worked” was too strong a word. She did die before she saw any results, after all. But enough of that, Mima thought—now that she regained her memories, she’s finally gotten another shot. This being the apocalypse and all, she figured she should probably make it count.
She clicked close her portable hand mirror and, along with the rest of her stuff, threw it back into her field bag. She stole one last glance at Yukari, who was still sleeping soundly, before straightening her hat and clearing her throat.
“Maribel…” she said in a quiet, sing-song voice. She placed a hand on Yukari’s shoulder and gave it a gentle shake. “Maribel, wake up.”
No response. Mima pouted as she shook her around again. “Merry? It’s so scary around here—I need someone super strong and amazing by my side. Maybe we could hold hands?”
Nothing but more snoring. Mima’s expression fell. “... Okay, seriously. Wake up.”
“Don’t make me break out the big guns, Merry,” Mima said, digging through her bag and pulling out an airhorn. “I’ll do it. You think I’m bluffing?”
A tense beat passes. Mima stows away the airhorn. “... Ah, I’m just kidding. I wouldn’t do something like that to you. You’re too cute, hehe.”
“I’m not above this, though.” She reaches back into her bag and pulls out a spray bottle filled with water… before giving Yukari’s face a couple of quick spritzes.
That quiet, tranquil expression to Mima seemed almost a timeless representation of the relationship she shared with Maribel quickly contorted into one of disgust. After a moment of being pelted with spray after spray of water droplets, Yukari finally was roused from her sleep, a squinty, grouchy mess.
“Who..? Urgh…” She mumbled with a groan. When Yukari saw Renko, immaculately constructed before her with enough accuracy to convince her she came straight from her memories, she froze. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “... Renko?”
“Hehe… Yep, it’s me! Your best friend. Best girl-friend, even. That is, a girl who is also a friend. Not a girlfriend, you know? Aha… Unless? Kidding, kidding.” Mima flashed an easy smile. “Glad you’re awake. Hey, before you say anything else—how do I look? I look cute, right? I know we’re in the middle of saving the world and everything, but I’ve actually been spending a lot of time taking care of my appearance.”
As Mima continued to ramble on and Yukari continued to wake up, her expression made a slow and gradual pivot. Where at first Yukari couldn’t hide her bemusement from her face—as well as that strange pained expression someone would have, seeing a loved one they have long since finished mourning appear upon their doorstep—she eventually came to settle on an empty stare and a neutral, apathetic expression. It hurt Mima a little, seeing such a radical turn in her demeanor.
“Oh,” Yukari muttered. “It’s just you.”
Mima didn’t think she intended it, but there was a layer of latent annoyance in her words. Or maybe it was disappointment? A thousand years or more apart did a lot to shift their relationship. That much was clear—and it hurt.
Yukari took a moment to look Mima up and down. With a scoff and a roll of her eyes, she delivered an unceremonious answer. “You look fine.”
Mima sighed in response. “Hey, I’ll take it.”
“More importantly…” As Yukari continued, she craned her neck around to absorb every detail of her surroundings: everything from the light fixtures above to the tables that were so meticulously set and prepared. “... Where are we?”
Her eyes naturally gravitated toward the front counter and the kitchen section that was just behind—meticulously wrapped burgers and fresh fries, set underneath heat lamps… it was as if they were all made recently. But that wasn’t even the strangest detail Yukari’s eyes were able to pick out. Upon one of the tables was a tray, filled with half eaten food—as if the patrons ceased to exist in the middle of their meal. This was beyond a mere liminal space, where it gave the impression of once being a place where people gathered—it was closer in relation to the scene of an ongoing disaster, where people had left in a hurry.
In that way, it didn’t carry much of the surreal quality of a place no longer meant for humans—it more so felt like a place with a cursed history, its sinister and mysterious narrative etched into its skin and flesh through the vestiges of human presence. Mima could tell, being a ghost herself, there was more to this place than the physical construction. As to what ‘more’ was, she could not place.
She could tell Yukari was thinking something similar by the way she walked around and took in the feeling of the place. Her posture was rigid and cautious, but not necessarily ready and waiting for danger. There was a quiet dread to the things that weren’t, but should’ve been.
“I’m trying to figure that out myself,” Mima replied, following Yukari around with her arms folded behind her back. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but… I think we’re back in Tokyo.”
“I don’t think you’re crazy.” Yukari replied. She walked over to the table with the food and traced a finger across its top. No dust clung to the surface of her finger, as if the tabletop had recently been cleaned. She brought the back of her palm close to the food. It was still radiating just a little bit of heat, as if it had been freshly served. “That’s the part that scares me.”
“... Assuming this is all very much real, this must be Koishi’s doing,” Yukari declared, taking a moment to look down at herself. As she flexed her fingers, her eyes narrowed. Mima figured she might’ve just realized she had been healed and mysteriously back to her usual outfit. She still looked younger and weaker than she once was, but there was an undeniable, albeit subtle increase in the vitality she seemed to convey. As Yukari’s eyes wandered to the empty city street outside, Mima couldn’t help but notice that expression—that idle, faraway gaze that looked like Yukari had trapped herself in a vivid daydream. She couldn’t help but realize how much Maribel had changed—and yet stayed the same.
“Whatcha thinking, Merry?” Mima tried, shuffling up to Yukari’s side.
“Yukari.”
“Oh. Right. Ha, that’s my bad. My bad…”
“I’m thinking: why Tokyo specifically?” With a wave of her hand, Yukari opened a gap next to her. Through that little tear in reality was a bird’s eye view of the whole city, as well as the infinite desert that surrounded it. “... There must be some significance to this location, but I couldn’t possibly imagine what it could be. Not right now, knowing what we know.”
“Hey, I grew up in Tokyo, you know? Maybe it has something to do with that? And… y’know, we were teaching in Tokyo before…” Mima gestured vaguely around herself. “... Everything, I guess. Maybe Koishi’s reacting to our memories.”
“Could be. Could just as easily be something related to Koishi. Could be nothing at all.” The view through the gap eventually fizzled out, leaving nothing but the inky blackness of the pocket dimension Yukari held dominion over. She let out a sigh before stitching the gap closed with a wave of her hand. “I’d suggest we keep on moving. Collect as much information as we can about this place. But only what we need—the plan is still largely the same. There’s no telling when she will appear again. Best be as quick about it as we can.”
“Oh. Uh… Alright. That’s cool.”
“... What?”
“Hm?”
“What’s wrong? You disagree?”
“Oh no, ah…” A sheepish grin crawled across Mima’s face. “I was just thinking about how much you’ve changed, is all. It’s just… you know, a huge city missing all of its people is pretty mysterious, huh? Don’t you want to do more exploring? Poke around a bit and take in the sights? Like we used to—just one last time?”
There was an unsettling period of silence where Yukari stared straight through Mima with that flat look. She averted her eyes for a passing moment. When Yukari returned her gaze to Mima, it was steely and cold. “No. Neither of us are kids anymore. We have duties and responsibilities that we can not abandon. Not for anything.”
Yukari brushed past Mima. The gesture wasn’t very rough at all, but Mima felt it come at her hard. As Yukari opened the door, she looked back at Mima and gestured to her to follow.
“Let’s go.”
Orin did not want much from life.
There was Satori, her master, who she cared about deeply. There was Okuu, her best friend, who she loved. There was Koishi, the younger sister of her master, who she felt obligated to take care of. And of course, there was her job of transporting corpses, which she could do endlessly and without tiring. Those things more or less encompassed everything she cared about—Orin was a simple person.
So as she crawled out the emergency hatch located at the top of the ship her master had so recklessly buried into a sand dune, she couldn’t help but feel so hopelessly out of her depth. With a groan, she hoisted herself over the lip of the hatch before losing her balance and tumbling over.
As she tumbled downward, bumping her head against every little edge the ship had on her way down, the visor to her suit cracked and then shattered. But as she flopped down into the warm sand, her arms and legs spread in a state of absolute fatigue, she couldn’t really bring herself to care about the warning tones in her helmet—or the fact she was able to breathe the air here, in what used to be the void. Frankly, all she could think about was how much she wanted to go home.
“Orin! Are you okay?” A familiar voice called from somewhere outside her field of vision. It was followed by the hasty clattering of boots on metal as they no doubt clambered down the ship in a hurry.
All Orin could offer in response was a weak grunt and the extension of a thumbs up.
“Are… are you insane?” Another voice called soon after, all breathless and hoarse. It cracked with exertion, as if it had already been worn out by so much screaming. “Satori, what form of devil possessed you to do that? We could’ve all died!”
Satori, of course, didn’t respond. Not before she entered Orin’s field of view, her own helmet long since thrown away. Her face was etched with a rare look of concern, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief when she saw Orin manage a weak smile. Wordlessly, Satori jostled off the smashed helmet from Orin’s suit and brushed away any remaining debris… before pulling her into a tight embrace.
Orin, dazed and shocked from the crash, could manage little else than to rest her head upon her master’s shoulders as she was pulled in. But through whatever stores of energy she had left, she managed to raise her arms and wrap them around in loose reciprocation.
“I’m okay,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”
Satori pulled back from the hug, but stayed kneeling by Orin’s side. Cautiously, she looked to the horizon, as if she had caught a vanishing glimpse of something stalking them from behind the shifting sands. She extended an elbow for Orin to grab on to. “Let’s go. Can you stand?”
“I… I think so,” Orin mumbled, hooking one of her arms around Satori’s elbow and placing a hand on her shoulder for support. Her master lifted, and in response Orin tried her best to stumble onto her feet, with mixed results. As she straightened herself out with the help of Satori, she heard her bones shift and crackle in strange ways—followed by an absolute lightning strike of localized pain in the leg and the fuzzy static that came to replace it.
After a sharp intake of breath and a pained wince, Orin settled into a decidedly unconvincing posture—she plastered a smile on her face and shifted all of her weight onto the other leg in a poor imitation of nonchalance, but Satori’s face only got graver. It broke Orin’s heart. For a moment, Orin tried to separate herself from her master so she could stand on her own—but Satori only squeezed her in closer, as if she would’ve lost Orin the second she let go.
That didn’t surprise Orin much. She knew better than anyone that the events one year ago were still fresh in her master’s mind. Even now, it haunted her every action, and now the consequences were starting to catch up with everyone involved. But to Orin, that didn’t matter. It never did—not so long as Satori was her master, and Orin was her pet. Satori could march to the deepest pit of Hell, pick a fight with a God, oppose reality itself… and Orin would march along right beside her, no matter what.
Patchouli, on the other hand, did not share the same sentiment. She marched up to the two, at least temporarily uncaring of the fantastical environment they found themselves in, and went straight to airing out her grievances.
“Recklessly engaging with Toyohime like that, against all better logic… one day, and this day might very well come sooner than you think, your obsession with that cursed woman will hurt someone you care about,” Patchouli snapped. As she looked to Orin, whose body was riddled with evidence of blunt trauma, her expression softened. “... It already has.”
“As if we had any other choice. It was our best shot to kill her, once and for all,” Satori replied, stone-faced and cold. “... Besides, let Orin speak for herself. As if you know what she does and doesn’t wish for.”
“... Orin wasn’t the only person who got hurt. Or killed.”
“It just so happens that Eirin conveniently falls outside my definition of ‘people I care about.’ I fail to see the issue.” Satori snorted with disgust, as if offended by the mere implication. Orin wanted to speak up and cut between the fighting, but couldn’t find the strength to oppose her own master. “That aside, who says I was the one who got her killed? She got herself killed, following her own incomprehensible mess of half-baked ideas and strategies. What are you coming at me for?”
“How could you be so cold toward someone like her? Especially since we were all fighting out there together, as comrades? Have you no shame?”
“I’ve no love for her. Not after what she did to my sister.” Satori stared straight into Patchouli’s eyes. Sometimes her master was like this—staring straight ahead through a person, as if judging the content of their soul itself. Sometimes, this was literally the case, given that she made liberal use of her opened third eye. “We might be fighting beside each other, but we’re fighting for completely different things. Yukari, Eirin, Kaguya, even you and I—we’re all fighting for something different. Those are just the facts. Just as it was a fact that Koakuma had darkness in her heart. It’s that kind of fact.”
“How cynical. Aren’t we friends?”
Satori fixed Patchouli with a steady glare as she thought through her answer. Even with an open eye, Orin found her master’s thought process difficult to parse.
“... No. We aren’t,” Satori settled. “It’s not a secret—I’m fighting to get my sister back. I’m fighting to kill the person who turned her into a monster. I’m fighting to protect my family. You are doing none of those things—you’re fighting for a more abstract reason: protecting the world, or preventing human suffering, or whatever other justification you assign to your actions. It’s admirable, but recognize that It’s only by convenience that we’re here, helping each other out.”
“... Is that right?” Patchouli muttered under her breath. “Then if it came between Yukari, or Eirin, or me, or anyone else… and your family. Who would you choose?”
Silence.
“It’s best to be honest with ourselves. It saves us the heartache.”
“I see.”
In the silence that came after, the atmosphere seemed to become heavier. Orin spent each passing beat being suffocated by the pressure. Her eyes darted from Patchouli to her master, and then back again.
“Er…” Orin started. “Let’s ah… could we just figure out what we’re going to do next, maybe? Without fighting—that would be nice.”
“Good plan, Orin,” Satori said. Though strangely enough, she wouldn’t take her eyes off of Patchouli. “I’m not quite sure what we would do without you.”
Patchouli looked away. Orin couldn’t help but feel vaguely responsible—though the second the thought even popped into mind, Satori squeezed a little tighter, as if in reassurance.
“... There’s no use in arguing,” Patchouli said with a heavy sigh. “Or rather, it’s a subject for later, when we aren’t all in danger. For now, I agree—we should figure out our next steps.”
The guns had long since run quiet.
Those satellites—their powerful bodies forged by the greatest minds, cast in the strongest metals, and mounted with the fiercest weapons humanity could muster—how could they have possibly matched the horror of God’s wrath? They could never, and for their hubris, their bodies and their souls were scattered and broken as a million glittering lights upon the ocean.
Those were the kinds of things Kaguya Houraisan thought about as she sat beside a flickering fire, her only source of light deep in the darkness of a desert night, not a few meters from the turned and battered wreckage of the CNS Beyond the Sun. In the void, It was battered by unseen force, turned three times—and upon the fourth, struck down and consumed by the void, as was the divine will of God. To its crew, it might have seemed like nothing less than a castigation of divine nature—but Kaguya knew it was nothing more than the temper tantrum of a child. As infant children must necessarily cry, Koishi must necessarily kill—it was her unconscious will.
Woe upon humanity, as its greatest accomplishment was brought low and made worthless before a child. Her own child. What a dubious honor it was—being the mother of such a terrifying, omnipresent killer.
Kaguya was on the ship when it was attacked by Toyohime. She was there to see Eirin march on to meet her. And she was there to see her die. It didn’t bother Kaguya too much—after all, she had watched Eirin die countless times. She will likely watch her die countless more, before all is said and done. But it was there, seized by the temporary shock, that Kaguya lost consciousness. When she woke up, she was deep within the fresh wreckage of humanity’s greatest weapon—alone. On what happened to her crew, and why Kaguya was spared, she could only make guesses.
With no direction and no plan, Kaguya spent what felt like hours wandering the claustrophobic halls of that great metal cage of a ship. But she was alone. Alone in such a way that not even the impression of humanity remained. Even the spot where she saw three men become atomized by Toyohime’s attack, which had burnt dark impressions of their silhouettes into the steel, was mysteriously void of any sign they were killed at all. The damage remained, but the people were gone—erased from existence in a way only God could manage.
When she eventually emerged from the dark recesses of the ship into a darker night, with nothing but the stars above and the inexplicable ground below, she could do nothing but start a simple fire. The night was cold, and she had a feeling it would be long. Warmth would be needed.
This, alone and huddled by a dying fire, must have been the end. Kaguya shifted closer to the flame, and held her knees closer to her chest. She didn’t know what to do. When her own daughter had sought her out, she didn’t know what to say. All she could do was recognize—that in pursuit of an easy life, she had made things so much worse. She wondered if it was too late to make things right between herself and Koishi. If Kaguya had looked up to her daughter now, and said sorry, would she hear? Would she care?
She wasn’t sure. And she wasn’t sure if she wanted to find out.
As she stared at the stars above, Kaguya heard the shuffling of boots displacing the sand. The sounds came in an irregular, halting motion. When it came to a stop, Kaguya lowered her gaze to the figure who stood at the edge of her fire’s light.
A moon rabbit in a pilot suit, all ripped up, tattered, and blackened by combat. In the gaps of her suit, her skin had melted away from severe burns—and froze in place, creating large patches of gangrenous tissue that covered her body. As Kaguya’s eyes drifted downward, she noticed a patch of body that had a view to the other side. Somehow, by some miracle of medicine, the wound remained stable and closed.
Her face was concealed by her helmet, tinted and patterned by a spider web of cracks, but by the way she stood, so still and lopsided, Kaguya had the impression of an empty gaze just behind the facade.
The moon rabbit carried in her left hand a revolver, its chambers empty and on display as the mechanism that connected the grip to the top half of the hung loose. In her other hand, was an ax, splintered in half at the handle from excessive use and its blade caked in a thick layer of blood.
Without a word, the moon rabbit collapsed into a heap by the fire.
Kaguya rushed to the moon rabbit’s side and, upon removing her helmet, froze.
Atonement—she wondered if it was even possible.
Previous Chapter:
Interim Chapter 11

I apologize that this is going to be long, but I need help with my marriage. My husband and I are in our 30's and are both family physicians. As a physician, mental health treatment is severely limited as we have to disclose depression, anxiety, etc. when applying for state licenses, board certification, etc. I constantly live in silent suffering, putting on a face for my patients and colleagues. I have crossed state lines and paid in cash to seek therapy but it hasn't been very helpful. I appreciate whoever takes the time to read this and help with advice.
My husband and I come from different backgrounds. I grew up poor in Appalachia, lived in a single-wide mobile home and ate things like ketchup packets, mashed potato flakes or coffee creamer. I had never went to the doctor and the first time I went to the dentist I was 17. My childhood was spent playing in the woods and babysitting my little brother who is 10 years younger than me. My mom worked the night shift and my dad worked the day shift. My dad was very religious, paranoid, verbally / physically abusive to me and my mom. One time I couldn't find the phone for him to call his cousin and he got mad, gathered up all my toys and burned them in the back yard. I began drawing my own paper dolls and when he found them, he ripped them up saying it was "idol worship." He would call me "child" instead of my name, for example, "hey child, make me a tuna sandwich." He always got the biggest portions of food. When I was 8 years old he told me not to call him "daddy" anymore to hurt my mom.
My mom was MIA with severe depression, just sleeping on her days off. Other things he did was beat my sibling so bad he couldn't go to school and I took video of it, showing the librarian who then called CPS. My dad was arrested, but since he was related to the judge, the case was dismissed. The years went by getting called names, hair pulling, doing all cooking and all the cleaning; he never lifted a finger. I was 16 years old when my mom found out my dad was cheating on her with a coworker and she needed the GeoTracker to go to work that night; he was going to take it to see his girlfriend, and he started beating my mom up. I jumped out the window to help my mom and my dad grabbed my hair, screaming, "I HATE YOU!!!!!!!" Over and over and over, his voice echoing throughout the holler.
Since I was really young I have experienced extreme empathy, to the point of being a people pleaser. I always wanted to help people and animals. I never threw trash on the ground, I helped injured animals. When I was 10 years old, I scooped up tadpoles from puddles so they wouldn't die when the puddle dried up and put them in an old broken fish aquarium, releasing them back to wild when they would grow legs. To this day, frogs have a special place in my heart.
I was bullied in high school because I brought paper dolls to my first day of freshman year, I was the youngest in my high school at 13 years old. My clothes smelled like moth balls. During a fake fire drill, students had to go on the football field and there an an instance where a male student urinated on me and threw a keychain at me that he lit on fire. I was bullied because I always wore coats, even in 80 degree weather. I was ashamed at how thin I looked, I have always looked way younger than what I really am. I attempted suicide twice when I was a teenager.
I made good grades, was salutatorian of my class. I was able to get a full paid scholarship to a nearby college but I rejected it and took out a massive amount of student loans to attend University 4 hours away. I wanted to branch out in the world and I wanted to become a physician. I wanted to see what was beyond the mountains. I truly wanted to help people as it brought me happiness.
When I was 17, I started my freshman year of college. I did not know how to drive, did not have a car, my speech / grammar was very bad (I had to learn how to speak proper English), I basically lacked common sense. I walked everywhere - to campus, to the bank, to the grocery store. I had severe social phobia and anxiety. My last class to complete my bachelor of science degree was oral communications (night class as I hate public speaking). Sometimes a grocery store trip took 2 hours. During this time, to make extra money, I began selling art on eBay, making enough money to cover the monthly rent an bills. I drew portraits and also anime fanart.
Fast forward through med school, my social phobia began to improve as I got more exposure talking to people. It was my first day of clinical rotation on internal medicine and no one would show me how to write a progress note except one student. I was so shocked that someone could be this nice, to take time out of their schedule to help me. I continued to follow him like a lost puppy and we became friends. I had never dated anyone before and after 6 months of being friends he asked me to go to Starbucks. We eventually got engaged, then married, and moved to separate states to do our residencies.
Some background information about my husband - he was born in India and moved to Canada as a child. His dad was in the navy and his mom was a teacher. They had servants growing up who did all the cleaning, cooking, etc. He was given pretty much anything he asked for, which looking back, explains a lot of his behavior.
After completing residency, we finally moved to start our family practice careers. When we started living together as a married couple, things started to change. He expected me to wait on him - cook, clean, head massage, fold his clothes - basically everything his mother did for him. And if I did not do something right or not do it right away, he would get upset and run and tell his mother everything. He talked to her about our arguments all of the time.
Overtime, he began calling me names like b****, neurotic, crazy, delusional, childish, etc. Several months ago I was washing a large plastic bin in the sink and he was concerned I would knock a glass onto the floor and it would break. He started screaming at me, took the bin from me, threw it in the hall and then slapped me in the back of the head. Over the years, he would belittle me, make fun of where I grew up, call me naïve if I did not know how something worked. A few months ago he wanted chicken and so I made some in the Air Fryer, but it wasn't the same as his mom's chicken, and he yelled at me, saying I ruined the chicken and told his mom. I offered to make the chicken again, but he refused to eat it if I did, and DoorDashed Chinese food. He also calls me weird and says no one else would put up with me - meaning my collection of Sailor Moon dolls and Animal Crossing merchandise is a turn off. (BTW, when I was in medical school, I played a lot of Animal Crossing back in those days, they were so positive!)
He will not let me sleep in the same bed, saying I disturb his sleep. He sleeps in the Master Bedroom and I either sleep in the living room on the couch or in the attic. There was an instant where he had gone to sleep and I needed a new toothbrush, so I snuck in the Master Bedroom, crawling with my cellphone light on, but he saw it, got extremely angry and went to knock everything over in my closet, screaming obscenities. I could not sleep that night and had to go into the clinic in the morning to see patients, pretending nothing was wrong. My eyes were extremely swollen from crying and the staff had asked if I was feeling ok, thinking I was getting COVID. I dreaded coming home, often times hoping I would get in a car accident and die.
Last year I was diagnosed with autoimmune diseases narcolepsy and ankylosing spondylitis after contracting COVID from a patient who lied about having it during the COVID pre-screen questionnaire. I had to establish with neurologist and rheumatologist for treatment, and now take medications. Due to my declining health, I had to leave my clinic job as a family physician and now I work from home via Telehealth.
Something happened last night that made me realize my husband does not love me, and honestly, I don't believe anyone in this world loves me. I don't think I love myself. I wanted to sleep in the same bed with my husband and he got upset, saying I woke him up with having restless legs. He threw the blanket off of me, tore off the heated eye mask I was wearing and turned on the tv to 80 points so that I would leave the room. He then passed gas extremely loud and then LAUGHED as I started to cry. I left, going up to the attic to sleep.
When I try to talk to my husband about how I feel, he always turns it around on me, saying I have a big ego, I can't take criticism and I'm too sensitive. When I request I would like him to be more positive, he says things like, "this is the real world, people aren't nice." I think he became a physician because he was expected to, not because he wanted to. He starts to say things like, "I do all kinds of things for you! I pay the bills, take the dog places, follow up on important tasks that you forget!"
I apologize for the long essay, this is the first time I have told my story, to strangers on the internet. I often think what is my purpose in life? I miss my patients from the clinic, I miss that human bond. Now I feel lonely, hopeless and don't know where to go from here. What can I do to improve my life and my self esteem without the medical board knowing?

Hey Trip Keeper! I’m a big fan of your videos and watch them almost every night. I hope the pain I have suffered for these past couple years will give your viewers some entertainment. It will at least help me if I get to hear my story on your channel!
Before I begin, this report is going to be super long because it documents the past few agonizing years addicted to this. I also want to say a few things about Kratom that you need to know. Kratom is definitely a dangerous drug that gets you high. No, it’s not dangerous like Oxys, Percs, or whatever kind of hard drug is out there. It’s dangerous in the sense of its subtlety. You wouldn’t expect a legal drug that you can buy at a headshop to be this controlling over your everyday life. I’m not saying that you will get addicted like me, but there’s definitely a possibility and I’m writing this story in hopes to keep you away from this devil of a drug.
Another thing I have to say is that there is a common misconception that Kratom doesn’t get you high, that it’s just a mood boost or even nothing at all. Now that might be true for some people, but for me, I can definitely feel the euphoria and stimulation. If you take high doses like me, you will feel high trust me (I’m high as fuck right now typing this). There are also people who can get hepatotoxicity from it. Usually you would know if you had this if it happens right after you start. Jaundice is the main thing you will notice appearance-wise if this were to happen to you. Luckily, this hasn’t happened to me and doesn’t really happen to that many people. I think people are afraid of this phenomenon because there are a lot of stories on the internet of people describing how they got hepatotoxicity from Kratom. The reason behind this, in my opinion, is because what happened to them is so crazy that they need to make sure all of the internet needs to know. That’s just what I believe.
The last thing I want to say about Kratom is something positive? I think Kratom can be very beneficial to people who are going through opioid, alcohol, or benzo withdrawal. I think it can help you get off of that much more dangerous substance and put you on something that is still bad, but not nearly as bad as those. The risk in that though is that if you were addicted to the previous substance, you will 100% be addicted to Kratom. Like I said though, out of those four, Kratom is the least harmful out of the other drugs you could be taking. So the only reason I would recommend this drug would be for people already suffering through horrible addictions and withdrawals. I’ve read lots of stories of opioid addicts switching to Kratom and it being a lifesaver for them.
Now that I explained my views on the substance, let me take you on a journey through my ongoing abusive relationship with Kratom.
Before I talk about how I got to using it, I want to tell you what or WHO influenced me to do it in the first place. I had a friend in high school who I’m no longer friends with and I’m glad I’m not. He was addicted to Kratom and we were all doing drugs at that time, so I wasn’t really concerned with his use (come to think of it now though, I’m probably more addicted than he ever was). I remember in one of the classes I had with him, he would bring a bottle of water and put a shit ton of kratom powder in it, mix it up, and then drink it (so nasty, the taste is awful). No one questioned him drinking a green liquid because he was a health nut vegan who would lie and say it was spirulina if anyone asked.
I was never interested in taking it after watching him drink those disgusting green waters, but one day we were at a head shop and he was going to buy some. I said fuck it and said I’ll try some. He was super excited that I wanted to try it, but looking back now, if he was anything close to a good friend, he should’ve said “no”.
I remember the Kratom clear as day, it was a tiny bottle with fifteen capsules inside. It was pretty expensive too, but it was not an extract. I think it was just more potent than normal Kratom. He gave me seven and he took eight. I was excited to be high and see what he was raving about this whole time. We were hanging out for a little while after this ingestion and I wasn’t feeling anything, so I called bs on his claims, but then, I went home and I immediately felt it. I was so stimulated and euphoric, it felt almost like an adderall. I think the reason I didn’t feel it was because I was out and about walking and shit. When I laid down on my bed, I felt so good and I knew I wanted to do this again.
Since I’m already dragging the rising actions of this long story, I’ll just skip ahead to how I get to the level I am at today.
So basically the first time I tried Kratom that I described previously was in 2017. I didn’t really use Kratom that much up until 2019. I would take it two to three times a week and I used it only for when I was going out or going somewhere I didn’t feel like going. I do remember one time I took Kratom before I went to my girlfriend’s house and decided to take ten grams of it beforehand and my regular dosage, mind you, was five to six grams. I was so messed up at her house and it was so hard for me to hide it, but I did. I was shaking, my vision was wobbling so bad and I had major anxiety. Trying to talk to her dad was like speaking in front of thousands of people in an audience, I was that nervous. Luckily though, it wore off in a couple hours and I was dressed nice, so hey people take drugs don’t dress nice! (sarcasm).
Skipping to the summer of 2019 is when the repeated use took place. I have a tiresome job and wanted the day to be more fun. I decided I would take Kratom halfway through my day to get me through the last couple hours. Honestly remembering this moment of my Kratom addiction makes me really sad because at this point I wasn’t balls deep into abuse. I was just taking around seven to eight grams once a day. To some people that might seem like a lot already, but compared to what I’m going to tell you later, it’s nothing.
I basically did this routine every day until one day I decided to take a second dose to finish off the day and take the first dose earlier. It was the same dosage, but just doing it one more time. This decision was the one I regret the most out of all the other decisions I’ve made during this time. This is also around the time I started getting panic attacks, I’m not sure if Kratom had anything to do with it because I was also drinking shitloads of caffeine too. I would doubt it if it wasn’t at least 35% why I suffered these attacks.
I did the two dose a day routine for months and for the first time in this whole experience, I knew I had a problem. I remember stopping cold turkey for a week and some change. I did not feel bad physically, but mentally I wanted it so bad. For this time I stopped taking it, I had an urge to just feel something, anything. I bought a Juul to try and get a buzz and I never smoke whatsoever. I smoked it for a couple days and I didn’t like it, so I just stopped. I still had a constant urge to be high, so I upped my dose of caffeine. I was already doing 300mg a day, so adding onto this was just absurd. I bought those energy boosters that come in a 4-pack at the gas station and boy did my anxiety skyrocket. I got a panic attack from doing this and didn’t take those pills again for awhile. My dumbass still never learns though as I have done these pills probably around ten more times since then and most of the time I get a panic attack and pray that I don’t die.
It’s going to be hard to believe this next part, but believe me it’s very true. The feeling of nothing was draining me, so I resorted to taking a couple Advils to relieve my cravings of euphoria. As you may have guessed, I didn’t feel shit and was just suffering. To my surprise though, around the end of that Kratom-less week I was fine. I didn’t have a desire to be high or take Kratom, but something changed on the last day. Up until now, this was the closest I have ever come to stopping Kratom, but as you can tell, there is still more to this depressing story. I wanted to do Kratom and told myself that I was just gonna buy it one more time and be done with it. Well, I bought the 5-pack of the OPMS Gold Extract pills from a headshop and took one. When it kicked in, I felt so fucking good and knew that my habit was going to continue no matter what I told myself.
I went back to two doses a day for a period of time and since then I have stopped taking Kratom about three times. One time was for three days and the last two times were for a little over a day, so yeah I pretty much haven’t stopped since then.
It really only gets worse from here, but the worst part of my Kratom addiction happened in late 2020 to 2021. I apparently thought two doses wasn’t enough, so I started taking three! Yep, three doses a day. I also raised the dosages to nine grams each dose. So during this extended period of time I was doing twenty-seven fucking grams a day, sometimes more sometimes less. I don’t know what urged me to do this, but I did it. I would dose before I got to work, halfway through the day, and then near the end of my work day so I would be a little high at home. I was also scarfing these capsules down with Bangs (the 300mg of caffeine energy drink). One Bang in the morning and one for my last dose. I still can’t believe I did that shit. There were also some days where I would take the normal dose in the morning and then take like three to four more grams 45 minutes after. Please don’t be like me.
When I was doing these large doses of Kratom each day, my anxiety started skyrocketing. I never had anxiety in high school, I was carefree and didn’t really give a fuck about anything. Now though, I was a worried and stressed mess of a person.
Basically now, I was just taking Kratom to not only feel high, but feel normal. I felt like I needed to take Kratom to get through a day of work and I never missed a dose to achieve this normalcy. I hope people who are reading this understand that I never intended to do Kratom daily like this, but it slowly crept its way into my soul and mind and took control of it.
Another thing I want to add is that my tolerance has pretty much stayed stagnant. I can do 8.5 grams and feel stimulated. So even doing these many large doses never really raised my tolerance unless you are comparing it to my first two years where it was lower.
Anyways, I did three doses a day for months until I finally stopped taking that “halfway through the day dose” and only take it in the morning and late afternoon. It’s been like that since then with some minor changes involved. I have no idea how I was able to cut down a dose, but I’m glad I did. The thought of doing three doses nowadays is so insane that I can’t believe I used to be like that.
So not only does this addiction take hold of your mind and spirit, but it also takes control of your wallet. Every couple weeks I go into a headshop to buy the 500 capsule Kratom bottle and I’ll also buy the OPMS Gold Extracts some times too. If you ever do Kratom and my story is somehow not deterring you away, please don’t ever buy the extract. It is so powerful and costs so much money to keep up with it. I’ve been taking them a lot more recently and it costs $50 for five extract pills where I am located. To give a rough estimate as to how much I spend on Kratom yearly, it would have to be around $5,000. It could be more or it could be less, but I would take the former.
Since I haven’t really described the effects, I will do so now. The peak of the Kratom high feels like your body got a little bit more numb, you are more sociable, in a better mood, and just everything becomes a little bit more alright in your life. I compare this addiction to a caffeine addiction. You’re going to feel better after you ingest it and this feeling of improvement will become necessary and your body will require you to take it every single day. You are activating the reward system in your brain from these substances and that’s why it’s very hard to quit.
Since becoming addicted to Kratom, there are many things that have happened to me both physically and mentally. Physically I’m very fatigued and tired all the time. That could be due to my job, but the Kratom doesn’t help that. I shake damn near all the time and if I do extracts, the shakes become more pronounced. I also see static and floaters in my vision which can go back to my psychedelic use, but I feel like the Kratom is only making it worse. As long as I don’t focus on it, I won’t notice it.
I’m not as worried about the physical detriments to my body as I am the mental ones. I have extreme anxiety, I don’t like going out, I’m afraid to talk to women, a lot of friends I had have basically disappeared because I’m nervous to see them, and I also panic a lot and feel depressed most days.
I feel like I am also just stuck in my own thoughts, these are bad thoughts too. Every time I think of something, it always ends up turning out negative. I’m not gonna say I’m not in a good mood ever, but I’m definitely in this distressed state more than in a cheerful state. There is one positive thing to come out of all of this though and it’s that I have a severe amount of empathy towards others. I try to help people in need and do whatever I can to make their lives better. If my life already sucks, I don’t want others to feel the same pain as I do. I give great advice to people (even though they don’t take it a lot of the time) and just make the world a better place. This empathy though is also a negative for me. I feel like since I know everyone else’s pain, that I will never be happy again. The knowledge of the suffering of the human race (and also innocent animals) terrorizes me daily knowing that I can only do so much. I’m not saying I’m a good person either, I still make mistakes and do bad things, so don’t get it twisted.
Sometimes when I talk to people, I’ll start stuttering my words because I’m already thinking of the next sentence I’m going to say, so the words jumble into each other and it comes out as a stutter. I’ve also noticed I have weird ticks where I grab my chin and scratch my head when talking to someone, usually when it’s a question. When I notice this, I immediately stop. My old counselor (who I don’t visit anymore) noticed this about me and made me paranoid about it ever since. Yeah, thanks a lot.
People have also told me I’m very funny and calm. I can only be funny because of the torment my mind goes through on a daily basis. That’s why, if you haven’t noticed, comedians are more likely to kill themselves. Just look it up and you’ll see it happens quite frequently. I wouldn’t say I’m suicidal, but I’ve definitely thought about it a couple times. Whether that’s just crashing into the median on the freeway or shooting myself. I can’t say I would ever actually do this, but I have never gotten to the point of it being even close to doing those things. I’ve also experienced life long enough to realize that it does get better, but there will be lots of ups and downs on the way. Mostly downs for me, but at least I can treasure the ups when they do happen.
There is not one person that knows I am addicted to Kratom. People know I have taken it before, but they do not know anything past that, like the extent and frequency of my use. It’s very easy to hide that you’re on it because it’s not gonna fuck you up like a strong opioid or stimulant will. It gives you a mix of both that balances the two to create a “normal” person. People see me daily and think that’s the real me, no, that's the Kratom-Induced sack of animated limbs.
Currently I’d say I can manage the doses better. I still do a lot, but I could wait to do a dose. I still have to do two, but before I had to do it at a specific time. I still have the problem of it being on my mind before I take it. Like before my second dose, I am pretty much thinking of Kratom up until I do it. I wait until my lunch is digested and it’s more empty because empty stomachs do make a difference. Although over the summer I was super high from taking it and eating breakfast after. I did take an extract, so that could be why.
The anxiety nowadays has gone down a little and same with the depression, but I am prescribed medication, so I am sure that’s helping. I do not drink or do any other drugs, so I guess that’s one thing to be happy about? I forgot to add to that period of time I was doing three doses in a day, I was also drinking quite frequently. Somehow though, I feel worse than back then. Maybe I don’t as it’s hard to go back in time to see how I felt. I’m hoping that all these mental and physical symptoms go away if I stop taking Kratom because it’s getting to the point of being unbearable. I wish I could talk to a close friend about what’s going on inside my head and the insufferable addiction I’m going through. I’m just so embarrassed to tell someone. It’s not like weed or alcohol where it’s normal in society to be addicted to those substances. Yes, people who smoke every day are addicted, I do not care what you say. Kratom, on the other hand, is not really well-known with normal people in society and the people that do know what it is think it’s K2 or some shit (which it’s not even close to).
My short-term goal with this addiction is cutting it down to one dose a day and cutting out all the extracts. The bad part about the extract is that I can afford it. It’s great that I’m financially stable, but I hate how much I love those things.
The long-term goal I have is obviously stopping it completely. I really don’t know how long that will take or if it will even happen at all. I know something has to happen in my life to deter me away from it forever. Even if I do stop, am I going to end up going back to it? I hope that my mind will trample this stupid fucking addiction once-and-for-all and I will go back to living a normal life without this satanic substance. I can’t even recall what it was like before this took over my life.
I’d say that Kratom has ruined my life. I know that I’m still young and have room for improvement, but the future looks completely bleak in regards to Kratom use. Until I go months without taking a single kratom capsule, I will not be satisfied with my life. Even if I stop taking it for months, there is still a chance I will be super stressed, mad, or whatever feeling that makes me want to escape that reality for just a short period of time.
I hope none of you think this story is bullshit and can’t happen because it’s Kratom. It’s 100% true and I want you all to take what I have to say to heart because I don’t want anyone to experience the horrors that I’m going through. How Kratom fools you is its subtlety. You may not realize you have a problem until it’s too late, just like me. If I can get addicted to this, anyone can. It’s just like being an alcoholic, caffeine addict, or even a food addict. Any kind of addiction is bad, some are worse than others. You can still function normally on this and look as though you’re clean, but in reality you know you’re not any better off than someone suffering from a worse addiction. You have the same problems as them, just not as severe.
To end this journey I have taken you through, I just want to say that you should NEVER take Kratom under any circumstances, unless you are going through a horrible opioid, benzo, or alcohol withdrawal. Those are seriously the only people I would recommend taking it. Even then, if there is a way to combat your withdrawals or addictions with something else, PLEASE do that instead. If you are currently taking it, but are just doing it occasionally, don’t ever take more than that. If you can keep it under control like that, then it won’t cause you that much harm, but you never know if it will lead to what I am currently going through or even worse. If you would’ve told me I was going to be addicted like this four years ago, I would take the crack you were smoking and take a hit of that shit because there is no way in hell someone could get addicted to this. Just please be careful, seriously, your life can be negatively changed forever.

Immortal Hip Hop: Part 2
Artists like: Smif-N-Wessun, J Dilla, Kool G Rap, K-Rino, De La Soul, 9th Wonder, D.I.T.C., MF DOOM, Mount Westmore, Kendrick Lamar, Diamond D, Nas, Buckshot, KRS-One, Psycho Realm, Pete Rock, Jake One, Killah Priest, Big Daddy Kane, Choclair, Pharaohe Monch, Bronze Nazareth & Statik Selektah ~

For sale, for Steam gift cards (or gifted Steam Wallet balance):
​

• Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; $350 $400 or best offer)
• Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Fast Food Costume Pack (removed from Steam Store)
• Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)

​

• Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
• Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

​
For trade:
*tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle
​

• *BIOMUTANT
• *Edge Of Eternity
• *Golden Light

​

• *Call of the Sea
• *Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• The Amazing American Circus
• Armello
• Backbone
• Calico
• Cris Tales
• Euro Truck Simulator 2
• Farming Simulator 17
• Ghostrunner
• Gotham Knights
• Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
• Lust from Beyond: M Edition
• Monaco: What's Yours Is Mine
• Orbital Racer
• Pathfinder: Kingmaker - Enhanced Plus Edition
• PAYDAY 2
• Pilgrims
• Soulblight
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Starfinder Core Rulebook (Paizo key) and Starfinder Adventure: Junker's Delight (Paizo key)
• Strange Brigade
• Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
• Sunlight
• System Shock 2
• System Shock: Enhanced Edition
• Ticket to Ride
• XCOM® 2
• X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fallout 76
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Othercide
• Shady Part of Me

​

• The Last Campfire

​

• Sakura Dungeon
• Sakura Swim Club

​

• Summer in Mara
• Townscaper

​

• The Long Dark: Survival Edition

​

• Spirit of the Island
• Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

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• Conan Chop Chop
• DOOM Eternal Standard Edition
• Grow: Song of the Evertree
• Tribes of Midgard

​

• Styx: Shards of Darkness

​

• Hard West
• John Wick Hex
• Phantom Doctrine
• Red Solstice 2: Survivors

​

• Arizona Sunshine

​

• Backbone
• Blade Assault
• First Class Trouble
• Super Magbot

​

• Golf Gang
• Maid of Sker
• Monster Train

​

• Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York
• Vampire: The Masquerade - Shadows of New York
• Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest

​

• Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

​

• Baldur's Gate: Faces of Good and Evil
• Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear
• Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition

​

• Crown Trick
• Crusader Kings III
• Just Cause 4 Complete Edition

​

• Guts and Glory
• Hello Neighbor

​

• Day of the Tentacle Remastered
• Grim Fandango Remastered
• Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
• STAR WARS®: Knights of the Old Republic™ II

​

• Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition
• Duke Nukem Forever
• PGA TOUR 2K21
• WWE 2K Battlegrounds

​

• Emily is Away <3
• In Sound Mind

​

• Little Big Workshop
• Not Tonight

​

• Brigador Deluxe Edition
• Verdun

​

• Resident Evil 0
• Resident Evil 6
• Resident Evil
• Resident Evil Revelations

​

• EVERSPACE™

​

• Dreamfall Chapters

​

• Cultist Simulator
• GWENT: The Witcher Card Game - Ultimate Starter Pack (GOG key)

​

• The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

​

• 2064: Read Only Memories

​

• Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
• Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense

​

• STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

​

• Bionic Commando
• Street Fighter V

​

• As Far As The Eye
• Impulsion

​

• Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (Origin key)

​

• Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

​

• Bartlow's Dread Machine

​

• Blaston

​

• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

​

• The Walking Dead
• The Walking Dead: Season Two

​

• Total Tank Simulator

​

• Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

​

• XCOM® 2

​

• Black The Fall
• Goetia

​

• Highway Blossoms

​

• Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

​

• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• This War of Mine

​

• Tom Clancy's The Division™ (Uplay key)
• Tom Clancy's The Division™ - Survival (Uplay key)

​

• Highway Blossoms
• HunieCam Studio
• KARAKARA
• Sunrider Academy
• Sunrider: Liberation Day - Captain's Edition

​

• Civilization VI - Australia Civilization & Scenario Pack
• Civilization VI - Vikings Scenario Pack

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met

​

• Hacknet
• Satellite Reign

​

• The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut

​

• The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
• ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

​

• Puzzle Agent
• Puzzle Agent 2

​

• Ame no Marginal -Rain Marginal-
• KARAKARA
• Memory's Dogma CODE:01
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project
• Narcissu 10th Anniversary Anthology Project - Season Pass

​

• A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met
• Sakura Angels
• Beach Bounce
• Beach Bounce - Soundtrack
• Blue Rose

​

• Lionessy Story
• My Personal Angel
• Natural - Beyond Nature -
• Postmen Of Horizon (removed from Steam Store)

​

• The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

​

• Koi-Koi Japan [Hanafuda playing cards]
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle
• Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle : School Girls Edition
• Poker Pretty Girls Battle: Texas Hold'em
• Pretty Girls Mahjong Solitaire

​

• Guns of Icarus Alliance
• Guns of Icarus Online
• Impossible Creatures Steam Edition
• Lethal League
• Tempest: Pirate Action RPG
• Tempest - Treasure Lands
• Tempest - Original Soundtrack
• Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
• Warhammer: End Times - Vermintide

​

• *Book of Demons
• *For The King
• PlateUp!
• Spiritfarer®: Farewell Edition
• Kingdom Two Crowns
• Indivisible
• White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
• Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War
• Murder by Numbers
• Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
• Steel Rats™
• Hue
• Strange Brigade
• Sifu Deluxe Edition Upgrade Bundle (Epic key)
• Gal*Gun: Double Peace
• The Invisible Hours
• Synergia
• ROCKETRON
• Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
• Dead Age
• Dusk Diver 酉閃町
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Slain: Back from Hell(?)
• Cook, Serve, Delicious!
• Tower of Time
• Danger Scavenger
• Survive the Nights
• The Beast Inside
• Valfaris
• Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
• This War of Mine
• My Time At Portia

​

• Knights of Pen and Paper +1 Edition
• Knights of Pen and Paper 2 - Here Be Dragons

​

• 112 Operator
• 911 Operator
• Book of Demons
• Broken Age
• Brothers - A Tale of Two Sons
• Crying Suns
• Crying Suns
• Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
• Driftland: The Magic Revival
• Liberated (GOG key)
• Moon Hunters
• Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
• Ring of Pain
• Rustler (Grand Theft Horse)
• Wanderlust: Travel Stories (GOG key)
• WARSAW
• X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC (I believe this redeems as the linked Complete Pack, minus the soundtrack)
• ΔV: Rings of Saturn(?)

​

• Fallout: A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game
• Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
• Phoenix Point: Year One Edition
• Deliver Us The Moon
• Morkredd
• Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
• Space Crew: Legendary Edition
• Spirit Hunter: NG
• Survivalist: Invisible Strain
• Warhammer: Vermintide 2
• ENDLESS™ Space 2
• Surviving the Aftermath
• The Long Dark

​

• Fallout 76
• Othercide
• Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
• Shady Part of Me
• ScourgeBringer
• Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
• HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sonic CD (removed from Steam Store)
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
• STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
• Bionic Commando
• Full Metal Furies
• Ultra Street Fighter® IV
• Starbound
• Mafia III: Sign of the Times
• Outlast 2
• Dreamfall Chapters
• BioShock 2
• Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
• Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
• The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
• Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
• Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

​
WANT:
​

• 5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
• A Hat in Time
• Avernum: Escape from the Pit
• Bendy and the Ink Machine
• CODE VEIN
• CrossCode
• Dead Rising 4
• Dungreed
• Mega Man 11
• Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
• NBA 2K Playgrounds 2
• NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
• Omensight: Definitive Edition
• Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection
• Submerged
• Tower Unite
• Visage
• Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap

​
IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

Wish List: Teslas below, AA/SS/1S melee, and rare apparel/masks
I still need the following Teslas: GS/50L/15r,,, H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Med/50L/15r,,, Troub/50c/25
Complete Trade List: (Thank you for your time browsing this huge list!!!)
FIXERS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/25/15v,,, AA/50c/15v,,, AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/50L/25,,, AA/AP/25,,, AA/E/Dur,,, Ari/25/15r,,, Ari/E/15r,,, Ari/E/25,,, B/25/15v,,, B/50L/25,,, BAP/25,,, Exe/50c/25,,, Exe/AP/25,,, Exe/E/25,,, F/50c/25,,, GouE/25,,, GS/25/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, GS/E/25,,, H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Jug/AP/25,,, Junk/25/15r,,, Junk/50c/15v,,, Junk/50c/25,,, Junk/50L/25,,, Junk/AP/25,,, Junk/E/15v,,, Med/25/25,,, Med/50c/25,,, Med/AP/25,,, Mu/AP/25,,, MS/50c/25,,, N/AP/25,,, N/E/25,,, Q/25/15r,,, Q/25/15v,,, Q/AP/25,,, Q/E/50,,, St/50c/25,,, St/AP/25,,, St/E/25,,, Su/50c/25,,, Su/AP/25,,, Su/E/25,,, T/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/15v,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/AP/25,,, V/AP/25,,, Z/25/25,,, Z/E/25
HANDMADES: AA/E/15v,,, Junk/25/15r,,, MS/E/25,,, Mu/E/25,,, Mu/50c/25,,, Q/50vhc/25
HEAVY WEAPONS: AA/25/90 AGL,,, AA/25/15r Cryolator,,, As/25A/90 Fatman,,, B/E/Gho 50cal,,, B/25A/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50vhc/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50L/90 AGL,,, Exe/50c/15r Flamer,,, Exe/25A/90 Gatling Plas,,, Exe/E/25 LMG,,, Q/25/15v LMG,,, Q/25/Dur LMG,,, Q/50L/90 Minigun,,, TS/50vhc/90 Broadsider,,, TS/25/15r Gatling Gun,,, TS/25/15r Gatling Laser,,, TS/25/25 LMG,,, TS/E/25 Minigun,,, V/25/15r 50cal,,, V/25/25 Gatling Gun,,, V/50L/90 Harpoon Gun,,, Z/E/90 LMG
MELEE: AA/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, AA/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, AA/40P/1S Gulper Smacker,,, AA/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, AA/50c/15v Power Fist,,, AA/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Ari/SS/1S Shovel,,, Ari/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, As/40P/1S Chainsaw,,, As/40P/1S Drill,,, B/SS/1S Bowie Knife,,, B/40P/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, B/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, B/SS/25 Gulper Smacker,,, B/SS/25 Meat Hook,,, B/SS/1S Power Fist,,, BSS/1S Power Fist,,, Exe/50c/1Sv Power Fist,,, Ext/SS/1S Drill,,, GS/SS/1S Chainsaw,,, I/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, I/SS/1S Golf Club,,, I/SS/1S Power Fist,,, I/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Jug/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Junk/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Junk/SS/1S Security Baton,,, Mu/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, Mu/SS/1S Power Fist,,, MS/SS/1S Shishkebab,,, Su/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Su/SS/1S Spear,,, Troub/SS/1S Bowie Knife,,, Troub/SS/1S Golf Club,,, V/SS/1S Combat Knife,,, V/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, V/SS/1S Mole Miner Gauntlet,,, V/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, V/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, Z/SS/1S Fire Axe,,, Z/SS/1S Knuckles,,, Z/SS/1S Pipe Wrench
RAILWAYS: AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/E/15v,,, Ari/25/15r,,, B/50vhc/25,,, B/E/15r,,, B/E/90,,, F/50c/25,,, F/E/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, H/25/25,,, H/50c/25,,, I/25/25,,, I/50c/25,,, Junk/E/25,,, Q/50L/15r,,, Q/50L/90,,, Q/AP/25,,, St/50c/25,,, Su/25/25,,, Su/E/25,,, TS/50L/25,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/50c/15r,,, TS/AP/25,,, TS/E/Dur,,, V/25/25,,, V/50c/25,,, Z/E/90
TESLAS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/50L/15r,,, AA/AP/25,,, B/25/25,,, Exe/25/15r,,, Ext/25/15r,,, F/25/15r,,, I/25/15r,,, Q/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/25,,, V/25/250,,, V/25/Dur,,, V/50L/15r,,, Z/25/15r
AA/E/25 Assault Rifle,,, AA/25/25 Assultron Head,,, AA/50c15v Crossbow,,, AA/50L/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, AA/25/25 Gamma Gun,,, AA/E/15r Hunting Rifle,,, B/AP/25 Compound Bow,,, B/25/25 Gauss Rifle,,, Exe/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, Exe/E/25 Hunting Rifle,,, Exe/E/25 Lever Action,,, F/50c/15v Thirst Zapper,,, Gou25/25 Lever Action,,, Junk/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Mu/50c/25 Crossbow,,, Q/50c/25 Assaultron Head,,, Q/25/15r Combat Shotgun,,, Q/25/15r Plasma Rifle,,, St/50c/25 Crossbow,,, TS/25/15r Combat Rifle,,, TS/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, V/50c/25 Bow,,, V/AP/25 Crossbow,,, V/50c/25 Gauss Rifle
ARMOR: Aristocrat's Heavy Robot left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Assassin's Heavy Raider left leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Assassin's T-45 right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim Raider Power left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim USA right arm with AP/WWR,,, Bolstering FSA chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Bolstering Sturdy Combat left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Bolstering Trapper chest with AP/Cavalier,,, Bolstering Trapper right arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon Raider Power right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon Robot chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Chameleon USA chest with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Chameleon USA left arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Cloaking Raider Power right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Mutant's Excavator left arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Mutant's FSA chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Nocturnal Excavator right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Nocturnal USA right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Excavator right leg with luck/cavalier,,, Overeater's Heavy Robot chest with +25 Rad Resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's T-60 left arm with +25% env resist/WWR,,, Overeater's T-60 left arm slowed hungeWWR,,, Overeater's USA chest with slower hungeSentinel,,, Overeater's USA left leg with Agility/WWR,,, Overeater's USA right arm with Endurance/Sentinel,,, Regenerating Heavy Raider right arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Troubleshooter's Marine left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Troubleshooter's Sturdy Metal right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Heavy Raider left arm with Luck/Cavalier,,, Unyielding Metal chest with AP/HDT,,, Unyielding Robot right arm with Agility/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Sturdy Leather left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Trapper right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Unyielding Wood left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's Excavator right leg with Intelligence/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's Heavy Leather right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Vanguard's Heavy Robot right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Vanguard's Raider power right arm with 7%LED/FDC,,, Vanguard's Sturdy Robot left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's Sturdy Robot right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Vanguard's USA right arm with AP/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's Wood chest with Strength/Sentinel,,, Zealot's FSA left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Zealot's USA right leg with AP/WWR
PLANS: Assault rifle,,, Barbed walking cane,,, Baseball bat rocket,,, Baseball bat searing puncturing rocket,,, Bear arm,,, Bear arm heavy mod,,, Boxing glove lead lining,,, Camo Backpack,,, Cave cricket tube,,, Civil war era suit,,, Civil war era top hat,,, Confederate hat,,, Deathclaw gauntlet,,, Dense marine armor torso,,, Dense trapper armor torso,,, Fire station bell,,, Flannel shirt & jeans,,, Halloween skull mask,,, Hatchet electro fusion,,, Junkyard fountain,,, Machete sacrificial blade,,, Meat Tenderizer,,, Nuka Girl area rug,,, Pepper shaker,,, Pitchfork Flamer,,, Protective lining Marine underarmor,,, Puncturing pole hook,,, Radioactive barrel,,, Raw cement barricade,,, Scorchbeast queen plushie,,, Scorched tube,,, Sheepsquatch staff,,, Shielded lining casual underarmor,,, Shielded lining Marine underarmor,,, Skeleton costume,,, Skiing outfit,,, Sledgehammer heavy searing sharp rocket,,, Small vault girl statue,,, Snallygaster plushie,,, Spiked walking cane,,, The Fixer,,, T-60 BOS knight paint,,, TV Aquarium,,, Ultracite emergency protocols,,, Undershirt & jeans,,, Vintage water cooler,,, Witch costume,,, WV state bird rug,,, Yao Guai tube,,, Cranberry Bog Healing Salve recipe,,, Fasnacht donut recipe,,, Fasnacht sausage recipe,,, Formula P recipe,,,Stimpak Diffuser recipe,,, Tato salad recipe
APPAREL: Asylum Uniform Pink,,, Clean Spacesuit,,, Emmett Mountain hazmat suit,,, Fasnacht Craxy Guy mask,,, Fasnacht Deathclaw mask,,, Fasnacht Raven mask,,, Grey Fishermans Overalls,,, Hunter's Long Coat,,, Longshoreman Outfit,,, Straight Jacket Clean,,, ,, Winter Jacket and Jeans
CHEMS: Addictol: 145,,, Berry Mentats: 288,,, Buffout: 1367,,, Calmex: 293,, Daddy-O: 966,,, Day Tripper: 510,,, Disease Cure: 385,,, Mentats: 1000,,, Overdrive: 450,,, Psycho: 2528,,, Psychobuff: 1241,,, Psychotats: 1010,,, Super Stimpak: 2500,,, X-cell: 303
FOOD: Canned meat stew: 45,,, Salt: 1433,,, Spices: 877,,, Sugar Bombs(w/rads): 240,,, Pepper: 1417
Enclave plasma aligned flamer mod,,, Enclave plasma aligned sniper barrel mod

TLDR: fiance hungout with random women and partied on his work trip struggling with his mental and physical health for many months, never told me about one woman he's now connected to and inappropriately flirts with her through text and probably in person one on one. What do I do? I'm pregnant with our first and we're buying a house.
I'm (26F) 12 weeks pregnant, closing on buying a house with my (27M) fiance, started a new job for better pay for us 3 weeks ago, and my fiance went on a business trip but wasted most of his time going to casino and clubs partying, with a random woman we "knew of from Facebook and through mutuals, but never officially met (until he did while there).
This is our first baby to be together. After 4 and a half years together, we're finalizing home ownership at the end of the month. I felt this was all about us growing together now but the way hes acting lately it's like he wants a snippet of the single life with partying with random people, beautiful women, including one on one time with said other women for dinners and more casino time. His partying behavious has increased for the last several months. He owns his own business, and it's expanded so much while we've been together into making a few million a year, a bigger team, and expanding to another town whoch adds to his pressure and work stress. He has random people from our town and neighboring towns that we "know of" (small territory) on social media for advertising reach, but this one woman he ended up deleting since she annoyingly posted a lot, I'll call her Valene. He went to the city for 3 weeks to pick up products and get one of our dogs neutered, so because of the surgery, he stayed 5 days longer.
He went to the casino/clubs around 5-10 times at least, on weekends and week days, including when the trip was extended for our dog's neutering. During this he caught up with an old friend(23F) I'll call her Lisa that we both know from highschool also an ex of his, no feelings leftover, just platonic but very beautiful woman and into fitness. His time with her, he was letting me know ahead of time when they were going to hang out and got food, most times with another guy friend of his as well. Including over a weekend air bnb rental in the next city but she ended up going home when they got into a dumb drunken fight (from the sounds of it) while also all binge drinking and doing drugs together all night before that weekend.
He saw the younger woman Valene (23F) that he had on facebook but deleted because she posted so much, at a party casino his first night and they recognized eachother, he told me that she was looking and walking with a drink staring at him and accidentally walked into some other person. They didn't have eachother online for a month or 2, but then recently I saw her reacting and commenting on his posts like they know eachother, after he told me he already deleted her the first night he mentioned to me he saw her. Now they're connected online again a couple weeks after his trip. I found that odd, and he never mentioned anything to me about her. He told me he was struggling in pain physically and mentally more so during his trip which is why he was partying. His flight was delayed for 2 days since the airline didn't accept the original kennel our dog was shipped with (too small, they never said anything from here) so he had to buy a new one.
I know it isn't right to snoop in your partners phone, but I wanted to know why they were connected and he didn't mention anything to me, I figured that they ran into eachother one night out again and that was it but they did more like exchanging numbers, texted the next day, went for food and to the casino until 2am again, she texts him like they're long time friends but with some flirting, that I'll get into more detail about.
He told her his flight was moved for an extra couple days, said let's do something, that he'll take her out to eat and tried getting her when he was at a restaurant already, she said "atleast give me 4 hours i look like shit". She has an almost 1 year old from a cheating ex that she left last year so she needed to arrange a babysitter ahead of time as well, and asked if he could pay, he responded "never even fucked yet and I'm already paying your babysitter hahahaha. That was a joke though <3" which i feel has crossed a line. She said "your dime my time" "hahaha I can say the same thing" "Okay until midnight?" he said,"2am lets go casino again" "I got one for all night" "trying to sleepover? Hahaha. " "No, I don't want to wake my baby up in the middle of the night you wish." "hahaha actually, I dont, but it was a joke." Then they ended up hanging out, and he picked her up, and I can tell that he dropped her off around 2am by their following texts.
A couple weeks later she was messaging him every day to every few days until just over a week ago, she was saying things like "sup fuck" "hey how's it going you make it back up" "Good morning" "hey" "have you seen my dad up there? He doesn't talk to me anymore. Reinstated daddy issues lol" "What do you mean? " "nvm" she also asked if he has snap, he said he does, but he doesn't use it. She said "well?" "And I'm not going to use it."
She seems to initiate all their convos, they kinda catch up, but since they don't hang out now, it's minimal. But she also messaged. " I have a question for you. You told me you're allowed to have female friends, but you told me you didn't tell your wife about meeting me. Why?" He said "yea so, idk lol" "okay" "you can tell her idc" "that would be the dumbest thing as a woman" and he went off on his rant saying "I meet so many people everywhere I go I don't discuss everything, I hungout with a ton of people when I was there male female it's normal life. Plus, most times, we hung out to party or go eat idk it's no big deal. I did get confused having to pay for your babysitter, haha, but you're a student all good. How come u ask haha" she said "idk" then changed the topic.
There's been more frequency of him having no patience for me, and he gets very upset and angry when i try to talk and communicate my needs in our relationship, but I'm hurt that he can pretend to be all nice with these other random women,, pay for their babysitter, take them for food, party with them in a whole different city. I wanna let him know if his flirting is too much for me (I let him flirt with other women many times while we we're out together but I was there and went home with him). He always defends that attraction to other people is natural, flirting is sometimes good for his business or getting deals etc. If this woman wasn't attractive, he wouldn't even have hung out with her and now be "friends". It's not like they're long time friends she's a random new woman from the bar from a month ago.
How do I bring it up, if at all, with his anger problems? Any advice is welcome. I'm anxious about dealing with this only now that I'm pregnant with him, so confused with my feelings and what to do. Would personal or couples therapy help us through this? I thought of saying, "I noticed her commenting. Did you end up meeting with her?" Or something along the lines to not push him into anger. Or should this be a conversation at all initiated by me?

TLDR: fiance hungout with random women and partied on his work trip struggling with his mental and physical health for many months, never told me about one woman he's now connected to and inappropriately flirts with her through text and probably in person one on one. What do I do? I'm pregnant with our first and we're buying a house.
I'm (26F) 12 weeks pregnant, closing on buying a house with my (27M) fiance, started a new job for better pay for us 3 weeks ago, and my fiance went on a business trip but wasted most of his time going to casino and clubs partying, with a random woman we "knew of from Facebook and through mutuals, but never officially met (until he did while there).
This is our first baby to be together. After 4 and a half years together, we're finalizing home ownership at the end of the month. I felt this was all about us growing together now but the way hes acting lately it's like he wants a snippet of the single life with partying with random people, beautiful women, including one on one time with said other women for dinners and more casino time. His partying behavious has increased for the last several months. He owns his own business, and it's expanded so much while we've been together into making a few million a year, a bigger team, and expanding to another town whoch adds to his pressure and work stress. He has random people from our town and neighboring towns that we "know of" (small territory) on social media for advertising reach, but this one woman he ended up deleting since she annoyingly posted a lot, I'll call her Valene. He went to the city for 3 weeks to pick up products and get one of our dogs neutered, so because of the surgery, he stayed 5 days longer.
He went to the casino/clubs around 5-10 times at least, on weekends and week days, including when the trip was extended for our dog's neutering. During this he caught up with an old friend(23F) I'll call her Lisa that we both know from highschool also an ex of his, no feelings leftover, just platonic but very beautiful woman and into fitness. His time with her, he was letting me know ahead of time when they were going to hang out and got food, most times with another guy friend of his as well. Including over a weekend air bnb rental in the next city but she ended up going home when they got into a dumb drunken fight (from the sounds of it) while also all binge drinking and doing drugs together all night before that weekend.
He saw the younger woman Valene (23F) that he had on facebook but deleted because she posted so much, at a party casino his first night and they recognized eachother, he told me that she was looking and walking with a drink staring at him and accidentally walked into some other person. They didn't have eachother online for a month or 2, but then recently I saw her reacting and commenting on his posts like they know eachother, after he told me he already deleted her the first night he mentioned to me he saw her. Now they're connected online again a couple weeks after his trip. I found that odd, and he never mentioned anything to me about her. He told me he was struggling in pain physically and mentally more so during his trip which is why he was partying. His flight was delayed for 2 days since the airline didn't accept the original kennel our dog was shipped with (too small, they never said anything from here) so he had to buy a new one.
I know it isn't right to snoop in your partners phone, but I wanted to know why they were connected and he didn't mention anything to me, I figured that they ran into eachother one night out again and that was it but they did more like exchanging numbers, texted the next day, went for food and to the casino until 2am again, she texts him like they're long time friends but with some flirting, that I'll get into more detail about.
He told her his flight was moved for an extra couple days, said let's do something, that he'll take her out to eat and tried getting her when he was at a restaurant already, she said "atleast give me 4 hours i look like shit". She has an almost 1 year old from a cheating ex that she left last year so she needed to arrange a babysitter ahead of time as well, and asked if he could pay, he responded "never even fucked yet and I'm already paying your babysitter hahahaha. That was a joke though <3" which i feel has crossed a line. She said "your dime my time" "hahaha I can say the same thing" "Okay until midnight?" he said,"2am lets go casino again" "I got one for all night" "trying to sleepover? Hahaha. " "No, I don't want to wake my baby up in the middle of the night you wish." "hahaha actually, I dont, but it was a joke." Then they ended up hanging out, and he picked her up, and I can tell that he dropped her off around 2am by their following texts.
A couple weeks later she was messaging him every day to every few days until just over a week ago, she was saying things like "sup fuck" "hey how's it going you make it back up" "Good morning" "hey" "have you seen my dad up there? He doesn't talk to me anymore. Reinstated daddy issues lol" "What do you mean? " "nvm" she also asked if he has snap, he said he does, but he doesn't use it. She said "well?" "And I'm not going to use it."
She seems to initiate all their convos, they kinda catch up, but since they don't hang out now, it's minimal. But she also messaged. " I have a question for you. You told me you're allowed to have female friends, but you told me you didn't tell your wife about meeting me. Why?" He said "yea so, idk lol" "okay" "you can tell her idc" "that would be the dumbest thing as a woman" and he went off on his rant saying "I meet so many people everywhere I go I don't discuss everything, I hungout with a ton of people when I was there male female it's normal life. Plus, most times, we hung out to party or go eat idk it's no big deal. I did get confused having to pay for your babysitter, haha, but you're a student all good. How come u ask haha" she said "idk" then changed the topic.
There's been more frequency of him having no patience for me, and he gets very upset and angry when i try to talk and communicate my needs in our relationship, but I'm hurt that he can pretend to be all nice with these other random women,, pay for their babysitter, take them for food, party with them in a whole different city. I wanna let him know if his flirting is too much for me (I let him flirt with other women many times while we we're out together but I was there and went home with him). He always defends that attraction to other people is natural, flirting is sometimes good for his business or getting deals etc. If this woman wasn't attractive, he wouldn't even have hung out with her and now be "friends". It's not like they're long time friends she's a random new woman from the bar from a month ago.
How do I bring it up, if at all, with his anger problems? Any advice is welcome. I'm anxious about dealing with this only now that I'm pregnant with him, so confused with my feelings and what to do. Would personal or couples therapy help us through this? I thought of saying, "I noticed her commenting. Did you end up meeting with her?" Or something along the lines to not push him into anger. Or should this be a conversation at all initiated by me?

fPLEASE NOTE ALL PRICING DOES NOT INCLUDE SHIPPING. I WILL CHARGE SHIPPING EXACTLY BASED ON ZIP / LOCATION. Typically shipping for a game will range between $3-5.
NES Games

• CIB Mike Tyson Punch Out - $200
• Boxed Mike Tyson's Punch Out $170
• Fire N Ice - $200
• Castlevania with Manual - $55
• Mike Tyson's Punch Out - $41
• MC Kids with Manual - $40
• Kid Icarus - $23
• Boxed Tetris 2 - $22
• Bubble Bobble - $20
• 1943 - $20
• Lolo - $16
• Puzznic - $14
• Mario Bros - $20
• Super Pitfall - $13

SNES

• Arkanoid - $25
• Thomas the Tank Engine - $15
• Star Fox - $16
• Tin Star - $14
• NHL 12 - $10
• Toy Story (bad label) - $10
• Speedy Gonzales - $10

GAMECUBE

• CIB pokemon Colosseum - $160
• CIB Animal Crossing - $65
• Boxed Animal Crossing - $55
• Loose Four Swords Adventure - $50
• Loose Zelda Collector's Edition - $50
• Star Fox Adventure For Display Only - $40
• CIB Time Splitters 2 - $30
• Boxed Spongebob Revenge of the Flying Dutchman - $20
• CIB Barnyard - $20
• Loose Super Monkey Ball 2 - $18

Nintendo 64

• Conker's Bad Fur Day - $140
• Mario 64 with Box and manual (frankenstein) - $125
• CIB Lego Racers (nicer copy) - $85
• CIB Lego Racers - $70
• Mario 64 - $40
• Jeopardy - $15
• Wave Race - $10

Wii

• CIB Metroid Prime Trilogy - $130
• CIB Wii Party - $50
• Boxed Skyward Sword - $25
• CIB Mario Bros Wii - $25
• Sleeved New Super Mario Bros wii - $25
• CIB Wii Play Motion - $20

Switch

• Loose Altelier Ryza 2 - $55
• Sealed Freedom Planet (limited run) - $50
• Sealed Neo World Ends with You - $40
• Sealed Diablo 3 - $40
• CIB Zoids - $20
• CIB Helmut - $20
• CIB Trials of Mana - $20
• Sealed Fortnite Minty Legends - $15
• Sealed Fortnite Anime Legends - $15
• Sealed Trollhunters - $15
• Sealed Ben 10 Power Trip - $ 10
• CIB Shining Resonance Refrain - $30
• Sealed Bad North - $50
• Sealed Hades - $30
• CIB Stardew Valley - $35
• Sealed Castlevania Anniversary Collection - $35
• CIB Pokemon Violet - $50
• CIB Pokemon Sword - $40
• CIB Valkyria Chronicles 4 - $35
• CIB Ghostbusters Remastered - $20
• CIB Bravely Default II - $35
• Sealed Ender Lillies - $40

Gameboy

• Gargoyle's Quest - $40
• Pokemon Blue (bad label) x2 - $42
• Pokemon Trading Card Game - $25

GBC

• Wario Land 3 - $30

GBA

• WATA 9.2 A++ Factory Sealed Golden Sun - $1500
• WATA 9.4 A+ Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga - $1250
• CIB Glacier GBA WITH FREE CIB Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 - $180
• CIB Doom Advance - $150
• Final Fantasy VI Advance - $100
• Final Fantasy V Advance - $50
• Mario Pinball Land - $20
• Castlevania Double Pack - $90
• Castlevania Circle of Moon - $30
• Kirby Amazing Mirror - $50

DS

• Pink DSi - $45
• Blue DSi - $45
• Pokemon Black 2 - $130
• Shaymin Pokemon Distribution Cartridge (EUR) - $900
• Darkrai Pokemon Distribution Cartridge (EUR) - $900
• Diddy Kong Racing Not for Resale - $20
• Sealed Assassin's Creed 2 Discovery - $35
• Legend of Zelda Phantom Hourglass Boxed - $40
• Sealed Shaun the Sheep - $50
• CIB Puffy Ami Yumi - $30
• CIB Wild World - $30
• CIB New Super Mario Bros - $20

3DS

• Sealed Gogo Kokopolo Double Pack - $110
• Loose Monster Hunter Stories - $50
• Loose Pokemon Art Academy - $45
• CIB Super Mystery Dungeon - $45
• Boxed Super Mystery Dungeon - $45
• Loose Kirby Battle Royale - $25
• CIB Monster High New Ghoul in School - $22
• CIB Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate - $22
• Zelda Ocarina of Time with BOX and Club Nintendo Insert (should this have a manual?) - $25
• CIB Final Fantasy Explorers - $40
• CIB Hey! Pikmin - 35
• CIB Story of Seasons Trio of Towns - 45
• CIB Harvest Moon: The Lost Valley - $25
• CIB Harvest Moon Skytree Village - $25
• CIB Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate - $20
• CIB Monster Hunter Generations - $20
• CIB Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate - $20

Sega Genesis

• Boxed Wings of Wor - $90
• Loose Truxton - $50
• Boxed Forgotten Worlds - $35
• Boxed Strider - $40
• Boxed Star Control - $30
• Boxed Raiden Trad - $65
• Boxed Raiden Trad (cart wouldn't read) - $45
• CIB Samurai Shodown - $22
• CIB Marble Madness - $28
• CIB Cool Spot - $20
• CIB X-Men - $25
• CIB Sonic - $35
• CIB Sonic 2 - $25
• CIB Sonic Spinball - $20
• CIB 6-Pak - $25
• CIB Frogger - $20
• CIB Ms. Pac Man - $10
• loose Street Fighter 2 Special Champ Edition (destroyed manual) - $20

PS1

• CiB Silent Hill Black label (gutted manual) - $160
• CIB Tekken Long Box - $60
• CIB Battle Arena Toshinden 2 Long Box - $40
• CIB Parasite EVE 2 - $115
• CIB Parappa the Rapper - $100
• CIB Mega Man Legends with damaged manual - $75
• CIB Resident Evil 3 Nemesis 2 Disc (damaged case) - $55
• CIB Alien Resurrection - $45
• 2x CIB Metal Gear Solid - $45
• Boxed Metal Gear Solid - $40
• CIB Resident Evil 2 - $42
• CIB Final Doom - $40
• CIB Ace Combat 2 - $35
• CIB Legacy of Kain Soul Reaver - $25
• CIB Road Rash - $25
• CIB Chronicles of the Sword - $20
• CIB Krazy Ivan LONGBOX (damaged manual) - $18
• CIB NHL Face Off LONG BOX - $10
• CIB Arcade's Greatest Hits LONG BOX - $15

PS2

• Loose Silent Hill 4 the Room - $75
• CIB Shadow Hearts + CIB Shadow Hearts Covenant - $200
• CIB Predator Concrete Jungle - $70
• CIB Neo Contra (x2) - $25
• Boxed Bouncer - $20

PS4

• Factory Sealed WATA 9.6 A+ Liar Princess and the Blind Princes - $120
• Factory Sealed Star Wars Bounty Hunter Premium Edition - $120
• Factory Sealed Kingdom Hearts 3 Deluxe Edition - $55
• Last Guardian - $23
• Heavy Rain & Beyond Two Souls Collection - $22
• Middle Earth Shadow of War Gold Edition (with steelbook) - $20
• Root Letter Last Answer with art book - $20
• Knack 2 - $18
• Shenmue 1 & 2 - $17
• World of Final Fantasy - $15
• Sealed Minecraft Dungeons Hero Edition - $22
• Atari Flashback Cassics Vol 1 - $15
• Far Cry 5 - $10
• Skyrim VR - $12
• Payday 2 The Big Score - $12
• Nioh 2 - $8
• Assassin's Creed origins - $8

PSP (all CIB)

• Tactics Ogre: Let us Cling together - $35
• Final Fantasy 2 - $28
• Ghost Rider - $17
• Star Wars battlefront Elite Squadron - $16

So, it might be a long shot, and the last time I had my thryroid tested (2019) it was normal.
My grandma said that may not be sufficient because she had that experience with doctors who did not and had or had to be tested for Hashimodos. I don't think my doctor did anything out of the ordinary, but between my father's sleep apnea, and my grandma's Hashimodos - I am concerned that I need treatment for one or both of these.
I have what I would describe as chronic fatigue. I am a 31yo woman. My hands ache, probably from extended keyboard use from 21 years of regular computer use. MS runs in my family as well, and I have ADHD.
I have attributed much of my behaviors to ADHD symptoms, but there are also things like the body aches, fatigue (which I know is often there with ADHD but also often due to comorbid illnesses/disorders).
My temperature is always around 96°F and I am very anxious. I see a lot of my grandma in myself with the anxiety, sensory sensitivity, fatigue and food sensitivities that seem to come and go - but it's hard to track bc the ADHD tends to cause me not to notice what I am and am not eating and never really have a consistent diet in terms of the foods I am eating.
There's always a safe food that I have a lot of and I am not leaving it out if it's the only thing I can bring myself to eat for days. I have a hard time keeping weight on and have since my early 20s. It's technically been true long before that but when my stress level greatly increased in my early 20s my average weight went down by about 15lbs and I've never really been able to get back up to where I was comfortable and had more energy.
TLDR; everything above has been my experience and it's a big messy ADHD story but Please help me by telling me how you first suspected or was told your symptoms could be Hashimodos - and if you see any similarities with what I've written above - I am sure this is probably repetitive but I would love to hear and commiserate and with people who have experienced things in this area of medical research and diagnosis.

The SD Reader's "Picks of the week"
Also: "The SD Readers list of "Fun Things to Do"
As well as, the "Best of List"
If you're visiting on certain dates You can plug in your dates at the San Diego Reader and see what pops for events that might be of interest to your family.
Another "cheap or free" page from the local news station
For those that are thinking of going down to Tijuana Mexico
A list of 69 things to do in Tijuana
Thank You, u/Matingas for this link <_ Brother Moderator of Tijuana :)
Of course, there's the regular weekly stuff:
Saturday's u/ thedaymayne organizes a semi-regularly about a flag football game Saturday at 11a at Jefferson Elementary (turf field). There's a solid core of 6-8 people and were always looking for new people to join. No ones D-1 athletes and we don't allow blocking to keep it clean and injury free. PM for more info.
u/lightwolv Suggests:
https://www.meetup.com/Casual-Socce Heads up for soccer players. We run a free meet-up every Tuesday and Thursday from 5 - 7. It's outdoor with big goals, cones and co-ed. If you wanna get outside and active, sign up. All skil All skill levels welcome, for those who played in college and stuff, it's competitive and it's a good work out.
Every Sunday at 2pm-3pm, free organ concert at Spreckles Organ Pavilion in Balboa Park.
Every Sunday Farmers Market at the Hillcrest DMV
Free yoga classes All around San Diego (Coastal) :
A good list of classes all over the city, Solana Beach
Sunset Cliffs, USS Midway Museum
Yoga on the Bay Every Saturday 10:30 am
There's a Sunday live video streaming of the classes in PB 10-11:30 am
u/YmcaAdultSports suggests: If you are interested in joining an Adult Sports League, come check out what the Dan McKinney Family YMCA has to offer (La Jolla)
IF there's something that you think is important or needs to have tickets purchased in advance... please post in the comments. IF there's a link that's needed, please try to not make it part of some text but the full URL string So I can just copy and paste it. (It'll make things easier) I'll try to retain these in the following week until the date of the event.
Please don't post events that are several months in advance. Try to limit it to 30 days or so - unless there's a real need for advance notice well in advance for ticket purchases.
Stuff from Last Weeks post: N/A
u/SD_TMI has suggested the following events
Monthly Yoga class at the South Embarcadero Rady Shell
The MsMargo activity section (welcome back!)
Free Guitar-Based Classic Rock Jam
Mondays, 6:50 pm-9:00 pm Our Savior's Lutheran Church 4011 Ohio Street San Diego, 92104 Age Limit: 18+ All levels welcome. Bring your own guitar, mandolin, flute, etc. or just sing along. Song chords and words are displayed via projector to a large screen. No practice required.
Gilbert Castellanos Presents: Young Lions And The Wednesday Jam Session - FREE!
Wednesdays
Panama 66 restaurant, Balboa Park
"Every Wednesday Panama 66 at The San Diego Museum of Art comes to life with the sounds of jazz. San Diego jazz hero Gilbert Castellanos showcases young music prodigies with The Young Lions Series (7:00–7:50 p.m.) followed by the Wednesday Jazz Jam (8:00–10:30 p.m.) that transforms the James S. Copley Auditorium into a swinging speak-easy. Order a craft cocktail or draft beer, take in the view of the Museum’s Sculpture Court and Garden, and enjoy an evening of music from San Diego’s finest jazz musicians.
Visit the Panama 66 Instagram page for updates on performances, closures, and schedule changes.
FREE event. Drinks and food available for purchase."
https://www.panama66.com/livemusic
IF there's something you think others will want to be know about please include it in the comments, reoccurring events can be added to the weekly post.

MF DOOM diss - "Book of Daniel" by MF Grimm.

What is your opinion? I have always been a fan of both MF DOOM and MF Grimm. I did some promotion for the "The Downfall of Ibliys: A Ghetto Opera" by MF Grimm (much of it produced by MF DOOM), an album recorded in a 24 hour period before he went to prison.

When I heard this diss track, I was saddened because I respected both MCs and I think their collaborations were classic indie hip-hop.
​
What is your thought on the track and the whole beef?
MF Grimm- Book of Daniel ft. MF MEZ and MF Bash
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9ARBlKUma0
​
[Intro: MF Bash (AKA Bashton the Invizabul Mang)]
[Verse 1: MF Grimm] I don’t Deep-fry friends—Grimm Reaper nuke ‘em Hearts don’t mend, brothers turned enemies Nigga, enemies, I eat them raw Nigga, MF Grimm is god of war Parole done, see you on tour Millions get paid, let’s see who make more Master water ‘cause man is mostly made of it Spit fire, consumed by flames, compete for oxygen Freeze deepest of minds, then skate on it Roast fireproof emcees with bad warranties War is a part of me, prison hardened me Demons try to murder me, pistols always pop at me Lead convicts my flesh, but God pardons me Revenge returned on descendants, so God part of me Put yourself in Danger running with a Mouse Metal turned to braces—punch you in your mouth Zev Love X used to be merry The Mask took control of you like Jim Carrey Megalon, tap him in the jaw, knock it off him M.I.C. got to put your mask in a coffin Mos Def, De La Soul, Roots can’t revive you When the bullets start flying, who’s gonna hide you? Rhymesayers, Stones Throw, Nature Sounds signed you Make peace with you? Zev, I tried to 📷📷📷📷📷[Hook 1: MF Bash (AKA Bashton the Invizabul Mang)] (x2) You can hide behind a mask but see-through like glass Thought you was the truth, but your style’s like ass Cutthroat bitch-made, you got no class Little black Sambo shouldn’t talk trash
[Verse 2: MF MEZ (AKA Destroyah)] Yeah, yo Midgets Into Crunk calling Monkeys In a Cage Murderers In the Cut is fucking you up on stage Tell ‘em about the time that Gunn punched you in the face Basically, you was hating and then you ran away You ain’t a man, you a character I bet that mask make you feel a lot scarier ‘Cause man-to-man is your Doom like we’re parallels M.I.C. could see you soon at your burial Listen, Vicky, you not goons, you cartoons Your hype man is not Grimm, that’s not him What you speak is not true, that’s not you Your team’s weak, I’ll pop them, then pop you Smog made your mask, Jet Jag made your name M.I.C. gave you life, and we can take that shit away
[Verse 3: MF Grimm] I didn’t wanna get at you—you know this is true One thing that stopped me was Lord Dihoo But now you’re being disrespectful to me and the crew Now I gotta do what I gotta do M.J. did articles, she got your name hot The mask was made for you by Lord Scotch X-Ray gave you studio time when in town Rodan and Megalon, them brothers held you down Evil jinns had you paranoid like a clown Jumped off stage and ran when Kong came around We looked out for each other when you lived uptown On the cover of the EP, but look at us now Chess is life. We haven’t played of late But even on the cover, I put your ass in mate We’ve been through so much. Zev, you was close to me Used to come through your house, buy your ass groceries I wrote the whole treatment to your MF video With Adam Lough and Ricky “Kid” Scotchno Hundred thousand dollar bail, got up, then I called you Fired my attorney, you helped me get a lawyer You took me in, let me stay out in Atlanta Facing 15-to-life, we bounced out to Cali You made sacrifices, recorded on the run We bust our ass, and got Ibylis done I made a mistake, told the press you hold dough I see now it’s my fault—they didn’t need to know I apologized to you, I thought we let it go B.B. Kings, New York, together did a show But look at us now. Once again, here we go Money wasn’t worth it, it turned us into foes Whenever you had beef, your beef was mine I’ll take a life for you, put mine on the line You might also likeEl Chupa NibreDANGERDOOMAll Outta AleMF DOOMFoolishMF Grimm[Hook 2: Samples with Scratches by DJ Crucial] “You love to hear the story again and again” - Sample from MC Shan - “The Bridge” (x2)
[Verse 4: MF Grimm] Doing songs with RZA? That’s funny shit I remember you told me that he bit “Tick, Tick...” You said Ghost was wack, you didn’t like his style Two-faced and three-headed, bitch, I’ll pull your file New food poisoning, you Vomit for a while You started some shit, now you’re sitting on a pile Metal Fake, tin foil, walk the Green Mile Just let it ride right now
[Hook 2: Samples with Scratches by DJ Crucial] “You love to hear the story again and again” - Sample from MC Shan - “The Bridge” (x3)
[Verse 5: MF Grimm] How could you ever diss M.I.C.? Yves St. Larock, yes, R.I.P How could you ever diss M.I.C.? Big L, R.I.P How could you ever diss M.I.C.? Jay Black, R.I.P How could you ever diss M.I.C.? Subroc, R.I.P How could you ever diss M.I.C.? K-Nitt, R.I.P How could you ever diss M.I.C.? T. Collins, R.I.P M.I.C [Outro: MF Grimm] What the fuck happened to you, man? You fell the fuck off, man. Niggas used to love you, motherfucker. Come home, man. Come home, Zev. Come home, motherfucker. Don’t let them niggas brainwash you, man. I know your fans love you, man. They love you. You getting brainwashed, homie
​
https://genius.com/Mf-grimm-the-book-of-daniel-lyrics

I've been watching a couple local subs for a few weeks now piecing together a short trip and was hoping to get some feedback and/or suggestions on filling in the gaps.
​
Some background:
We are typically up early and will stay out late if there is something we want to do. We like pretty much all cuisines and do drink, enjoy live music, visit a lot of museums/art galleries, big sports fans, etc. I thought we would try to catch a show but she didn't want to do that this trip.
​
April 19

• Arrive via train into Penn Station, check into the Warwick (W 54th St)
• Late afternoon/early evening free, probably just walk around the area.
  • Suggestions on things to see or places to go? We may do a little shopping but may not have time to go back to hotel before dinner so not sure.
• Dinner at Le Bernardin (booked)

April 20

• Weather permitting was thinking about taking a walk down to Bryant Park
  • Suggestions on breakfast/lunch near hotel and park? I had read about Xi'an Famous Foods a while back in a thread about chains people wished would open in their city but think the most convenient one to where we will be closed. Read about L’Adresse which sounds good. Dinner could be heavy so something on the lighter side that doesn't take us far from the D line may be ideal.
• Angels @ Yankees - Looks like D line is right by Bryant Park so should be convenient correct? Should be able to take same line to 7th Ave then walk back to the hotel as well.
• Dinner likely inside the park, but could grab something outside if there is something worth prioritizing over convenience.
  • Suggestions on food? We are sitting in section 420 but will probably walk around a little bit. Read about Lobel's steak sandwiches. Also read about the bucket of chicken but unless it is great feel like we would want to try something else. The Halal Guys might work as well. Anything we are missing? Anything outside that we should prioritize over the convenience of the park? Saw Sam's Soul Food but seems a bit far so leaning towards just sticking with something in the stadium unless there is something very close.

April 21

• I was planning to check out the Orchid/Cherry Blossoms at Brooklyn, but little worried the warm temps may make this a bust by the time we are there. Now I'm thinking weather permitting walk to High Line Park in the morning then Chelsea Market in the afternoon.
  • Suggestions on food and shops? I read about Friedmans which seems safe bet but if it isn't too hard to find a spot at one of the smaller spots probably prefer that. Saw several places serving noodles, tacos, pizza...street food type stuff that sounds interesting. Anything we should prioritize?
• Late afternoon/early evening free, probably just walk around the area.
  • Suggestions on things to see or places to go? We may do a little shopping but again may not have time to go back to hotel before dinner so not sure.
• She was hoping to book dinner at Tatiana's but I've been watching how quickly it books and I'm worried it is a little too new to count on.
  • Suggestions on other options for dinner? Prefer to stay relatively close to the hotel but can grab a Lyft/Uber easily enough. Saw several people saying Per Se was better than Le Bernardin and I suppose we could do both but seems a bit expensive. :D There look to be a couple good sushi places close by which may be nice.

​
Depending on weather our morning and afternoon plans could completely change and we end up looking for things to do inside. We enjoy museums and art galleries, but if there is anything else we should prioritize in the event the weather is poor would appreciate those suggestions as well. We will be heading out of town to the next stop via train from Penn Station April 22nd, but I think it is shaping up to be a nice quick trip. Any feedback and suggestions you have to make it better would be much appreciated. Thanks!

More Records Added!
♤all prices include shipping ◇Pictures available upon request in chat ♧Willing to make deals on 2+ ; $20 minimum
FREE MYSTERY RECORD STILL INCLUDED IN ANY $75 PURCHASE!
$34 - 112 - Room 112 VG
$21 - 1975 - A Breif Inquiry Into Online Relationships VG+
$25 - 1975 - Notes on the Conditional Form (clear) VG+
$39 - A Day To Remember - Old Record (2010 black press) VG+
$45 - A Wilhelm Scream - Partycrasher (Kaleidoscope) VG+
$50 - A Wilhelm Scream - Ruiner (black/red/gray tri color) VG+
$45 - A Wilhelm Scream - Career Suicide (clear w black and gold splatter) VG+
$32 - Aaliyah - Aaliyah (red and gold galaxy club edition) SEALED
$68 - Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - We Don't Have Each Other NM
$35 - Aaron West and thr Roaring Twenties - Routine Maintenance (orange) VG+
$45 - Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - Live from Asbury Park (mustard) SEALED
$20 - Action Bronson - Mr Wonderful NM
$20 - Aesop Rock - Spirit World Field Guide (clear) SEALED
$40 - Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass (2013 2xLP) VG+
$18- AFI - Bodies (black,gray,Silver tri) SEALED
$42 - Against Me! - Transgender Dysphoria Blues (gatefold) VG+
$18 - Against Me! - The Disco Before the Breakdown (red) VG+
$18 - Against Me - Cavalier Eternal (opaque blue) VG+
$90 - Against Me! - Crime as Forgiven By (white /200 2001 press) NM
$24 - Akron/Family - Love is Simple 2xLP VG+
$40 - Alexisonfire - Otherness (Gold Nugget SEALED)
$210 - Alexisonfire - Crisis (2016 2xlp clear w white swirl with bonus clear w white swirl 7" comes with slipcover) VG+
$22 - Alexisonfire/Moneen Switcheroo Split VG+
$33 - Alexisonfire - old crows/young Cardinals SEALED
$50 - Alexisonfire - Otherness (black in cleaorchid in clear DELUXE) SEALED
$21 - AL Green - Greatest Hits NM
$21 - Alien Boy - Don't Know What I Am (pink and lemon) VG+
$21 - Alien Boy - Sleeping Lessons (pink/white mix) VG+
$18 - Allen Stone - Apart (orange) vg+
$35 - Anderson East - Alive in Tennessee VG+
$19 Anna of the north - Dream Girl (blue)
$20 - Antarctigo Vespucci - Love in the time of Email (Maroon) SEALED
$40 - Anthony Green - Beautiful Things SEALED
$85 - Anthony Green - Avalon (black 2008 first press) VG
$30 - Anthony Green - Live at Studio 4 (Gold and green pinwheel) sealed
$60 - The Appleseed Cast - Mare Vitalis (green w blue marble[alt cover] import) VG+
$52 - The Appleseed Cast - Low Level Owl 1 + 2 (teal 3xlp) VG+
$19 - Aretha Franklin - Greatest Hits (2016 reissue) VG+
$55 Arkells - Jackson Square (clear w bone black and oxblood splatter) VG+
$19 - Arlo Parks - Super Sad Generation (white) SEALED
$42 - Armor for Sleep - What to do When you are Dead (2xlp Deluxe green/white galaxy) VG+
$140 - As Tall As Lion - S/T (clear w pink splash) VG+
$25 - As Tall As Lions - Lafcadio (powder blue) SEALED
$24 - Astronautalis - This is Our Science VG+
$24 - Astronautalis - Pomegranate (clear) VG+
$45 - At the Drive In - Vaya (White 10")VG+
$17 - At the Drive In - in-ter-a-li-a (oxblood) VG+
$18 - The Ataris - Anywhere but Here VG+
$28 - Atmosphere - God Loves Ugly (3xLP Club edition white/black marble with zine) SEALED
$17 - Aviator - Loneliness Leaves the Light on For me /500 SEALED
$20 - Autre ne Veut - Anxiety VG+
$40 - Balance and Composure - The Things We Think Were Missing (half black half blue) VG+
$34 - Balance and Composure - Separation (green/orange a side b side) SEALED
$20 - Balance and Composure - Only Boundaries (clear)
$18 - Balance and Composure - Light We Made VG+
$32 - Band of Horses - Cease to Begin VG+
$72 - Band of Horses - Acoustic at the Ryman VG [some sleeve wear]
$30 - Bartees Strange - Live Forever (black with bone and red splatter) VG+
$40 - Bartees Strange - Farm to Table (green/brown/tan tricolor) NM
$30 - Basement - Promise Everything (half blue half baby blue) VG+
$22 - Beach Slang - Broken Thrills VG+
$19 - Bears Den - So that you Kight Hear Me VG+
$26 - Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique (double gatefold 20th anniversary)
$40 - The Beatles - The Decca Tapes (1979 picture disc unofficial LK 4438) VG+
$20 - Ben Gibbard (Death Cab For Cutie) - Former Lives VG+
$18 - Big Sean - Finally Famous Deluxe Edition NM
$25 - Birdy - Birdy VG
$75 - Black Country, New Road - Ants up there (Bronze Marbled) Sealed
$50 - Black Country, New Road - Ants up there (Blue Marbled) Sealed
$50 - Bleachers - Gone Now (White w red)
$30 - Bleachers - Live at Electric Lady (fruit punch)
$40 - Bleachers - MTV Unplugged SEALED
$29 - Bleachers - Take the Sadness Out of Saturday Night (leather jacket cover) VG+
$25 - Bloom - Thousand Yard Stare (pink)
$65 - Blu and Exile - Below the Heavens (blue marbled) VG+
$18 - Bobby Barnett (Captain We're Sinking) - Little Wounds (clear) VG+
$20 - Bo Burnham - Inside VG+
$20 - Bon Iver - 22, a million VG+
$19 - Bon Iver - Bon Iver gatefold black VG+
$32 - Bon Iver - i,I (ttl Red) VG+
$38 - Boys Night Out - Boys Night Out (half pink half yellow) SEALED
$26 - Braid - Frames and Canvas (blue/silver swirl) VG+
$50 - Brandtson - Send Us a Signal (dark blue) sealed
$19 - Brian Bonz - Misophonia SEALED
$55 - Brian Bonz and the dot hongs - From Sumi to Japan (comes in limited edition embroidered sleeve)
$20 - Brian Fallon - Local Honey (orange)
$21 - Brian Fallon - Sleepwalkers NM
$22 - Bright Eyes - Letting off the Happiness SEALED
$20 - Bright Eyes - There's no beginning to the story VG+
$19 - Brittany Howard - Jamie (starburst) VG+
$30 - Bruce Springsteen - Greatest Hits 2XLP 2018 repress VG+
$20 - Camp Trash - The Long Way, the Slow Way (Swamp green/milky clear) NM
$30 - Camp Trash - The Long Way, The Slow Way (White tour press alt cover) VG+
$16 - Caracara - Summer Megalith (half pink half blue) vg+
$30 - Caroline Kingsbury - Heavens Just a Flight (white) NM
$150 - Cartel - Chroma (ultra clear VG+)
$45 -Cartel - Chroma live (White w red splatter VG+)
$35 - Cassino - Kingprince (White Marble with obistrip NM)
$54 - Cassino - Sounds of Salvation (white /300)
$42 - Cassino - Sounds of Salvation (black /300)
$58 - Cave In - Tides of Tomorrow ( Lime Green VG+ )
$65 - Chance the Rapper - Coloring Book (red/orange OFFICIAL press) VG+
$20 - Charles Bradley - Black Velvet (Purple w black splatter VG+)
$20 - Charles Bradley - Changes VG+
$20 - Charles Bradley - Victim of Love VG+
All 3 Charles Bradley for $50
$17 - Charly Bliss - Young Enough (Blue) VG+
$29 - Charmer - Ivy (cloudy clear w green) Sealed
$60 - Chelsea Cutler - How to Be Human (Coke Bottle Clear) SEALED
$22 - Childish Gambino - Kauai (light blue) NM
$22 - Childish Gambino - Camp (2xlp 180g) VG+
$29 - Choir Boy - Gathering Swans (glow in the dark) VG+
$18 - Chris Farren - Can't Die (baby blue) VG+
$35 - Circa Survive - A Dream About Love (Gold Sealed)
$32 - Circa Survive - A Dream About Love (Green w Splatter) VG+
$55 - Circa Survive - Live Sky Noise (Blue/Orange Split with Blue splatter) VG+
$50 - Circa Survive - Live Sky Noise (red/yellow w black splatter butterfly) VG+
$100 - Circa Survive - Inuit Sessions (Pink) VG+
$86 - Circa Survive - A Dream About Death (Crystal Blue with alt screenprinted numbered cover) NM
$20 - Citizen - Everybody is Going to Heaven (SilveCream/Baby Blue) VG+
$24 - Citizen - Life in Your Glass World (Blue/Green galaxy swirl) sealed
$24 - Citizen - Youth (clear) VG
$34 - Citizen - Youth (green w black smoke) VG+
$31 - Clairo - Immunity VG+
$17 - Claud - Super Monster (Blue) VG+
$28 - Clint Lowery - God Bless the Renegades (red w black) SEALED
$30 - Cloud Nothings - Attack on Memory (10th Anniversary Blue Sky color with 2x7" clear flexi) SEALED
$15 - The Coffis Brothers - In the Cuts VG+
$15 - Cold Moon - Whats the Rush (clear w olive splatter) SEALED
$30 - Coldplay - X&Y (slipcase, light shelf wear) VG
$36 - Cold War Kids - Mine is Yours VG+
$15 - Common - A Beautiful Revolution pt 1 (red smoke) SEALED
$16 - Crossed Keys - Saviors (blue swirl) VG+
$45 - Damien Rice - My Favourite Faded Fantasy (2xlp gatefold) VG+
$40 - Dan Mangan - Nice Nice Very Nice 10th anniversary VG+
$38 - Dance Gavin Dance - Afterburner (Black in yellow w mustard splatter) VG+
$390 - Dance Gavin Dance - Box Set (6xlp all color pics available VG+)
$65 - Dance Gavin Dance - Artificial Intelligence (black gatefold) VG+
$30 - Dance Gavin Dance - Tree City Sessions (OXBLOOD/BEER) VG Sleeve wear
$25 - Dance Gavin Dance - Tree City Sessions 2 (mint/black/gold) VG+
$25 - Danny Elfman - Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack (2xlp purple/yellow) vg+
$18 - Darlingside - Fish Pond Fish
$18 - Dave Chappelle - 8:46 SEALED
$22 - Dave Hause - Kick (clear w black red splatter) SEALED
$18 - Daywave - Crush SEALED
$215 - The Dear Hunter - Act 1 and Act 2 3xlp Clear VG shelf wear
$39 - The Dear Hunter - Act 4 Rebirth in Reprise (oxblood/sea blue haze) VG+
$45 - Death Cab For Cutie - Live 2012 (white w black splatter) SEALED
$60 - Deep Sea Diver - Impossible Weight (test press w one of a kind custom sleeve) NM
$40 - Deep Throat Choir - Be OK (import) VG+
$60 - Derek Ted - Better Spirit (test press w one of a kind custom sleeve) NM
$23 - Dermot Kennedy - Doves and Ravens (clear)
$115 - Dermot Kennedy - Without Fear Complete Edition (Blue) VG+
$23 - Dessa - Ides (clear SIGNED) vG+
$22 - Dessa - Sound the Bells SEALED
$20 - Devon Kay and the solutions - Grieving Expectation (clear w light blue dark blue splattet) SEALED
$20 Diet Cig - Swear I'm good at this (blue marbled) VG+
$45 - Dinner Party - Dessert EP (yellow w red splatter) VG+
$22 - Dinner Party - S/T VG+
$27 - The Dip - Delivers VG+ still in shrink
$30 - The Dirty Nil - Fuck Art (Pink) VG+
$30 - The Dirty Nil - Master Volume (red) VG+
$23 - The Distillers - Sing, Sing Death Horse (Doublemint black galaxy) SEALED
$29 - Dogleg - Melee (Black w yellow splatter) NM
$19 - Dryjacket - Lights, Locks and Faucets SEALED
$22 - Doomtree - No Kings NM
$22 - Early Eyes - Look Alive (Blue Seafoam Wave) vg+
$20 - The Early November - Lilac (White & coke bottle green pinwheel) vg+
$200 - The Early November - The Mother, The Mechanic, The Path (oxblood/mustard) VG+
$17 -Eastwood - It Never Gets Easy (green w bone,yellow,white splatter) SEALED
$19 - Empire Empire! (I was a Lonely estate) - You Will Eventually be forgotten VG+
$25 - Fairweather - If they move kill them.. (clear and black marble) Sealed
$20 - Father John Misty - Fear Fun VG+
$26 - The Felix Culpa - Sever Your Roots (2xlp, seam split) VG
$60 - Fear Before - Fear Before (brown black split) NM
$20 - Fences - Lesser Ocean (salmon) vG+
$22 - Fiddlehead - Between the richness (White inside purple) VG+
$20 - FKA Twigs - LP1 VG+
$25 - The Flatliners - Inviting Light (doublemint) VG+
$20 - Fleet Foxes - A Very Lonely Solstice (clear) VG+
$26 - Fleet Foxes - Shore (Crystal Clear) VG+
$100 - Flobots - Fight With Tools (Signed red and blue Cornetto) SEALED
$23 - Fontaines DC - A Heros Death (clear) SEALED
$135 - The Forecast - In the Shadow of Two Gunmen (clear) VG+
$20 - The Format - The EP SEALED
$75 - The Format - Interventions and Lullabies (Silver) VG+
$35 - Foxing - Dealer (clear w red splatter) SEALED
$20 - Foxing - Draw Down the Moon (brown in light blue) NM
$50 - Francis and the Lights - A Modern Promise VG+
$160 - Francis and the Lights - Farewell, Starlite!
$60 - Frank Ocean - Nostalgia, Ultra (bootleg red) VG+
$30 - Frank Turner -England, Keep My Bones 10th Anni (yellow) SEALED
$50 - Free Nationals - S/T (Gold nugget) VG+
$21 - Fuckin Whatever - S/T (yellow w blue splatter)
$24 - Fugees - The Score (clear w smoky white) SEALED
$60 - Further Seems Forever - The Moon Is Down boxset (cloudy white) NM
$20 - Future Islands - The Far Field (white) NM
$145 - Gallant - Ology 2xlp VG+
$24 - Gary Clark Jr - Live VG+
$26 -Gary Clark Jr - This Land SEALED
$ 18 - The Gaslight Anthem - American Slang VG+
$70 - The Gaslight Anthem - Get Hurt (red and white splatter) VG+
$55 - The Gaslight Anthem - The 59 Sound (blue/black mix) VG+
$19 - Gatsbys American Dream - Modern Man (pink/black mix) NM
$20 - Gatsbys American Dream - In the Land of Lost Monsters (cleaglow in the dark split)
$30 - The Get Up Kids - Four Minute Mile (White w blue splatter) NM
$22 - The Get Up Kids - The Guilt Show (Clear w Red Splatter SEALED
$26 - The Get Up Kids - Live @ the Granada Theater (clear and blue swirl) NM
$24 - The Get Up Kids - On a Wire (green and gray swirl) SEALED
$22 - The Get Up Kids - There Are Rules (Blue 2xlp Deluxe w bonus songs) SEALED
$25 - The Get Up Kids - Woodson (1997 black) VG+
$42 Glasvegas - Glasvegas (import, 10th anniversary cover) NM
$20 - The Go Team - The Scene Between VG+
$26 - Gold Necklace - S/T VG+
$20 - Gregor Barnett - Dont Go Throwing Roses in my Grave (clear w black smoke) NM
$45 - Grouplove - Never Trust a Happy Song VG+
$50 - Gulch - Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress (yellow and mint split with orange splatter) NM
$36 - Hail Mary Mallon - Beastiary (Beza Version Picdisc) NM
$60 - Half-Waif - The Caretaker (test press w one of a kind custom sleeve)
$30 - Hanibal Buress - Animal Furnace VG+
$25 - Hazel English - California Dreamin (red flexi) NM
$70 - He Is Legend - I Am Hollywood (yellow) SEALED
$55 - The Head and the Heart- S/T VG+
$28 - Hobo Johnson - The Fall of Hobo Johnson (white) NM
$30 - Homesafe - Nervous Reaction (coke bottle ghostly) VG+
$18 - Homesafe - One (blue) SEALED
$35 - The Horrible Crowes - Elise 10th anni (silver) VG+
$35 - The Hotelier - Goodness VG+
$50 - The Hotelier - Goodness (cerulean and coral) VG+
$22 - Houndmouth - Good For You (yellow and orange swirl) sealed
$55 - Hozier - Nina Cried Power (180g) VG+
$40 - Ace Enders - Dustin off the ol guitar (red/black w white splatter) VG+
$40 - The Internet - Hive Mind VG+
$38 - Iron Chic - You Can't Stay Here (clear w red black gold splatter) VG+
$20 - Ivy Sole - Overgrown (blue/clear w yellow splatter) NM
$26 - J.S. Ondara - Tales of America VG+
$75 - Jaden - ERYS (pink) SEALED
$18 - Jaws - Be Slowly (white) VG+
$110 - Jay-z and Kanye - Watch the Throne (bootleg burgundy marbled) VG+
$29 - The Jealous Sound - A Gentle Reminder (white) SEALED
$75 - John Nolan - Height (random color w one of a kind custom jacket)
$46 - Joy Crookes - skin (clear; import) SEALED
$85 - Joyce Manor - S/T (Coke bottle clear) VG+
$56 - Joyce Manor - 40 Oz to Freedom (lime) NM
$26 - Joyce Manor - S/T (remaster with red cover color mix vinyl) VG+
$130 - The Juliana Theory - Emotion is Dead (red/gold split blue/white split) SEALED
$60 - Just Friends - Hella (reddish bone and black w alt cover screen print) NM
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$60 - The Receiving End Of Sirens - The Earth Sings Mi Fa Mi (clear w black and white splatter--- bonus 2003 demos 7") VG+
$20 - Red City Radio - To the Sons and Daughters of Woody Guthrie (blue w black splatter) VG+
$36 - Red City Radio - Paradise (blue with gray pink twist) VG+
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$20 Remo Drive - Natural, Everyday Degredation (clear smoke) VG+
$20 - Remo Drive - A Portrait of an Ugly Man (Maroon) VG+
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$28 - Restorations - LP2 (white/green/yellow swirl) VG+
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ALL 4 RESTORATIONS FOR $70
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$48 - Rival Schools - United by Fate (white/blue pinwheel) SEALED
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$62 - Saosin - Translating the Name (teal) SEALED
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$33 - Say Anything/Matt Pryor - Daytrotter no. 23 VG+
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$42 - Silversun Pickups - Swoon (lavendeclear split) VG+
$50 - Sincere Engineer - Bless My Psyche (olive green) VG+
$24 - Skatune Network - Ska Goes Emo vol 1 (white w blue orange splatter) VG+
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$70 - The Smiths - Louder Than Bombs (87 US press) VG+
$20 - Snow Patrol - Final Straw SEALED
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$35 - Soul Blind - Greatest Hits vol 1 (clear w black/violet splatter) VG+
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$24 - Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces ETC. (cleawhite split w mint splatter) SEALED
$27 - Stay Inside - Viewing (dusk) SEALED
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$28- Various - Sing 2 Soundtrack VG+
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$20 - Young Statues - Age Isnt Ours (white/yellow) VG+
$20 - You Blew It! - Abendrot (blue in clear) SEALED

Recently Łukasz Olkowicz from Przegląd Sportowy made an interview with Łukasz Skorupski. Here's original: https://przegladsportowy.onet.pl/pilka-nozna/reprezentacja-polski/wszystko-wyplynelo-tak-sie-klocilismy-o-premie-ze-nie-gadalismy-z-pewnymi-zawodnikami/ys6v8bj
And here’s translation:
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Łukasz Olkowicz: You know what interests people.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Bonus?
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Bonus. Didn't it occur to you that people would be furious when they found out about it?
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Łukasz Skorupski: We knew. We were talking to each other and we knew they could be fucking furious.
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And that didn't stop you?
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Łukasz Skorupski: It wasn't our idea. The prime minister promised a bonus. In words, nothing on paper.
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But you agreed.
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Łukasz Skorupski: There was a chat between us: We'll get it - nice. We'll not get it? We didn't go crazy about it. You understand? The bonus was too much because it was too big.
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You negotiated part of it yourself. At dinner with the prime minister, you got ten million more.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I was talking about something, but it was for funnies. And the prime minister accepted it. In my opinion, at such tournament, we should not talk about the bonus at all, everything should be settled on paper before the World Cup. There was little we could do. They told us about it just before leaving to Qatar, we were goiing to the airport right away. Normally, we would have arranged this beforehand.
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When did you start talking about the bonus in Qatar?
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Łukasz Skorupski: After promotion from the group. Some things journalists wrote were true, some things not. Arguments started between us, talks with the coach. We've all been so excited in the team, I'll be honest: bonus, bonus, when is the bonus?
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And you know what's best?
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That you didn't get it?
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Łukasz Skorupski: No, that the team had a great atmosphere at the tournament. For example, we would come back from training and sing songs. We laughed that we are like Brazil. Because this Brazil was having fun after each training on drums, and we would come back and sing songs from the 90s, 2000s. We had our loudspeaker in the back, everyone chose, and then the rest picked up. Great stuff. Same music at the gym. It was fucking awesome, really. After the games we went out for dinner, we took care of the atmosphere. We were a good group, we were close. The atmosphere was fantastic and then it all went downhill.
​
Money ruined it. You had an argument over the distribution of the bonus.
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Łukasz Skorupski: We are promoted fromt the group and instead of being happy, we suddenly started arguing about this bonus. You'll have so much, others so much. But we were arguing so much that we didn't talk to certain players. And the day before we sang together. The match against France was approaching. "Lewy" says, the team council: "Gentlemen, let's make a deal. We can't think about the bonus, only about the match." We agreed not to talk about this bonus anymore. With all due respect to money, but no one on the team lacks it. Calm came back, we played the game.
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The best in the tournament.
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Łukasz Skorupski: And then the story began in the newspapers.
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Did you follow this?
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Łukasz Skorupski: I read something, but you know more... They promised us an exaggerated bonus, but instead of being happy that we were promoted from the group, they started to shit on us.
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You have exposed yourself. Wouldn't you be better off if you said, "We got lost in this, we lost our heads for a moment"? You said yourself the bonus was exaggerated.
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Łukasz Skorupski: The media live off such information.
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The media mainly shot at Czesław Michniewicz (NT coach) because of the bonus.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I'll tell you that I felt a bit sorry for him. I had a good relationship with him.
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Why didn't you answer?
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Łukasz Skorupski: To whom?
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To journalists. In his defense, if you wanted him to stay.
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Łukasz Skorupski: We have agreed internally that we do not talk about it with the media. I guess "Lewy" later gave an interview about it, right?
​
And Grzegorz Krychowiak.
Łukasz Skorupski: Later, when we got along and the match against France was over, we sat down for dinner, drank some wine and everyone got over it.
Has the tension released?
Łukasz Skorupski: We didn't talk about the bonus anymore. A lot of people left immediately after the game. But let me tell you in general - the atmosphere was great. It was beautiful in that respect. Beautifully.
​
Have you heard discussions from Poland about the style of the national team's play? That people have doubts?
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Łukasz Skorupski: We sometimes talked among ourselves that the style was average.
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The team was successful, but people turned up their noses. Did you understand the criticism? Objections from fans and journalists?
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Łukasz Skorupski: We understood, but we kept telling ourselves that the result is the most important thing. And the results were good?
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Were.
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Łukasz Skorupski: The game wasn't beautiful, everyone said it was ugly, but it delivered results. Why are you looking at me like that? We advanced from the group? We advanced.
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Did you like this game?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Damn... I don't want to criticize Czesio like that either. The coach sets the tactics. He wanted us to play that way, so we did what he told us.
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Did you believe in this tactic?
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Lukasz Skorupski: What? It woked. We advanced from the group. At the club you play quite differently, more football. On the other hand, I understand Czesio a little. When was he supposed to train it? Like in the World Cup, we played every three days.
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Others played differently.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Fuck, who were we playing with? With Argentina. They are the best players in the world, they set their own tactics.
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And with Mexico?
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Łukasz Skorupski: And what, did Mexico play well with the ball? Better than us?
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You and they played not to lose. There wasn't too much risk.
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Łukasz Skorupski: After all, we wanted to win. If we had scored a penalty, we would have won. What... We played so poorly?
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The match against Mexico was considered the worst at the World Cup. Skorup, teeth hurt.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Really? I do not know what I can say. But what, in total we drew 0-0. Should I criticize the coach now?
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No, just don't get off topic. Tell me how did you react?
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Łukasz Skorupski: We were aware that the fans were attacking us. On the other hand, such a tournament is the biggest in life, you don't want to spoil anything. And you can't go wrong. You understand? One mistake and it's over. You know you can't lose the first game. You play tournaments differently than you play qualifying. We wanted to leave this group, for us it was a success, wasn't it? When was such a success last time?
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36 years ago.
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Łukasz Skorupski: And why is it not talked about at all? There was talk about the bonus and style, and the fact that Poland went to the World Cup and left the group after 36 years and there was silence. Did we play badly against France?
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Well.
Lukasz Skorupski: You see. We lost, but individually we were blown away by players who are the best in the world. Why do you think we played like that in Qatar?
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Because that's what the coach chose. I think he thought the result would cover everything. It did not cover. The first such a long discussion about style has begun in Poland, in which both sides have arguments.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Exactly, everyone has their own opinion. I'm interested in winning matches, points. I'm out for the rest. For me, the most important thing is the result.
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You don't care about style?
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Lukasz Skorupski: No. I don't care when someone says that the national team or Bologna play badly. There are three points? There Are. Thank you. Who will remember in ten years how we played. They will remember our results.
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Or that in the match against Argentina you ran to survive and lose as little as possible.
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Łukasz Skorupski: It was our match for everything. It is known that this Argentina eats us with talent, right? We were there more with such working our assess off, we chose the simpliest football. We were tried to stay in the tournament. We couldn't risk anything. Nothing. That's the truth.
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But then it goes out into the world that one of you ran around asking them not to shoot again.
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Łukasz Skorupski: But is it true?
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You tell me.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I don't know if anyone asked for it. Any Argentinian could say that. Honestly, I haven't heard anything like that.
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You are the goalkeeper. Don't you think outfield players want to have some fun with the ball so it doesn't fly over their heads?
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Lukasz Skorupski: Points. Result. That's the most important thing for me.
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Maybe you don't get tired, but such Piotr Zieliński for sure.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Ha, ha. Well, I think he was struggling in Qatar. He played somewhere on the right or left side. We used "Zielu" wrong, and he has such skills.
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What is the problem?
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Łukasz Skorupski: See how he plays for Napoli. You pass him the ball, he has three players on his back and he won't lose it.
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Why can't this be applied to the national team? Not only with Michniewicz, it was there before.
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Lukasz Skorupski: I don't know. I think the defenders and the goalkeeper also have to play well.
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We don't have players so weak to play so badly.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Well, no, I think the same. It'll be all right.
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With Santos?
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Lukasz Skorupski: I don't know him. I mean I know him as a coach, but I don't know what the style will be.
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He said defense is the most important thing.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Do you know what Allegri was saying? You know what Chiellini and Bonucci were talking about? That the Italian championship is won by those who concede the fewest goals.
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In the national team, you got in touch with Jacek Góralski. You have a similar past.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Maybe he has even worse.
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Downtown. Bydgoszcz.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Oh Jesus. We talked about it. He told me a lot, had a few actions.
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Did you like each other right away?
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Lukasz Skorupski: Right away. "Góral" is direct. Fucking great dude.
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Dude, buddy or friend?
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Lukasz Skorupski: A friend. From the national team he and "Zielu". The best.
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But with Piotr Zieliński, you are fire and water.
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Łukasz Skorupski: We get along. He is also so…
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What?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Not as much of a psycho as me, but a similar mentality.
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What do you mean?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Also such a fox, he had some actions when he was young.
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I've seen his posts on the internet.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Not that. Some fights, no fights. "Zielu" is fucking great. First of all, helpful, if you need something, it's right away. You know, he plays for Napoli, the Champions League and doesn't try to be a star at all.
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In the movie "Transsiberian" one of the characters utters the phrase: "Do not kill my demons, because the angels will die too." What about your demons today?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Sometimes they are… But I hide it well. In Italy they don't even know I'm like that.
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Are you or have you been?
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Lukasz Skorupski: I was. I don't want to go back to that life at all.
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Do you control your demons?
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Lukasz Skorupski: I control. I am 31 years old, I have a child, a wife. I play football professionally, for ten years in Serie A. I earn good money, damn. You know how it is. I can't be stupid anymore.
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Do you think you're securing the future right now? Not only yours.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I'll make a living from it, so I have to make the most of it. I have to. I can't play the clown, risk to go out or something. I'll tell you, I don't even want to anymore. See how cold it is in Bologna today.
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Minus one.
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Łukasz Skorupski: In such weather, when I was 20, I would put on a T-shirt, a leather jacket over it and go to the city.
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Now you're constantly complaining that you're cold.
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Łukasz Skorupski: You don't even want to leave the house. Do you understand how it all changes?
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You said yourself you'd rather invite your friends over to your house than spend the night at a party.
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Łukasz Skorupski: The family is there, the kid is here. Everything worked out well. And I really prefer the way we sat down yesterday - we talked, watched the match, drank a glass of wine. Why the fuck would I go somewhere. Everyone knows each other in Bologna, right.
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I think even if they didn't know you, you wouldn't go out.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Well, I don't want to anymore. I guess it's age, huh?
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I already told you. We are getting older.
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Łukasz Skorupski: When I think about what I did in Górnik… Parties until eight in the morning, and training at nine. The body has changed too. If I did that now, I'd be walking backwards for three days. No discos at all. I will go out with my wife to a restaurant for dinner, sit, talk and go home. Where should I go? Of course, I can afford more during the holidays, then you can make something.
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I like the custom in Italian teams that you and your teammates go out for dinner every week.
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Łukasz Skorupski: They have, We have such a custom in Italy.
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In Empoli you went out on Wednesdays.
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Łukasz Skorupski: And today Stefan Posch was punished for being late for training. We were already training and he came in after ten minutes. The day before we came back late from the match, he couldn't sleep, and in the morning he overslept. The punishment was to buy dinner for everyone. He paid today. It might have cost him a bit.
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At least the team is connecting.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Yes, yes. There's a punishment or something and a supper.
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Did you pay fines in Bologna?
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Łukasz Skorupski: It wasn't a punishment, but after signing a new contract with Bologna, I bought dinner for the whole team. I'm not getting fines now. I'm not late, never happened to me. Sorry, I came too late at Nawałka's (former Polish NT coach and Skorupski's coach in Górnik) once.
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In Górnik or in the national team?
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Łukasz Skorupski: In Górnik. Imagine that we went to a party after practically every game. Once we lost to Polonia Warszawa 0:4. I don't know if you remember this game.
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No.
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Łukasz Skorupski: We lost and I say: "Fuck it, I'm not going anywhere". I didn't go and… I overslept. Dropping in for briefing, man... 10,000 fine from the coach.
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He probably thought about Katowice at night.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I didn't even say anything to him, I didn't explain myself. He wouldn't have believed it anyway. And that's the only time I haven't gone anywhere and I've missed my check-in. Jesus. That's how it stuck in my head that I've been vigilant ever since. Coach Nawałka used to look deep into your eyes. He greeted us, passed his hand and approached within five centimeters. Do you know why?
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Did he want to emphasize his sincerity?
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Łukasz Skorupski: He was getting closer like this, give me your hand, the left one, because my right one hurts. He brought his nose close to your face and sniffed. He knew some people were drinking.
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Ha, ha.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Well, I promise you.
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I was told by the players of Świt Krzeszowice, the first club where Nawałka started as a coach, how he checked them to see if they had drunk anything. During the camps he visited them in their rooms. "What's up gentlemen?" How do you feel? - He was asking. "All right, coach," they replied. - Oh, I found some lint - he picked up a crumb from the carpet and carried it to the bin. He looked for beer caps.
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Lukasz Skorupski: You see. With us, he would look at you and say, "Okay? Are you okay? Are you ready?" He knew that when there was a match, there could also be a party. He is sly. He wanted to introduce professionalism to Górnik. Because in order to achieve something with the team he had, he had to do it.
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If you hadn't met Nawałka, would we be talking in Italy now?
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Lukasz Skorupski: I don't think so. I'm afraid that I would not play in Italy and I would stay in Poland and play in Ekstraklasa. I had talent, but without the discipline and working us to the ground he unleashed in me, I wouldn't have excelled.
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The perfect coach at that moment for someone as defiant as you?
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Łukasz Skorupski: I was tough, I had it in me, because it's family with us. We don't cry, we don't feel sorry for ourselves. Something really serious had to happen to go to the doctor. If you cut something, it's no big deal. For them, it was such a shame to cry at the doctor's office because something hurt. We grit our teeth and say hello. That's my whole family. What, I also did not go to coach Nawałka with such trifles. It was so with him that if there was a foul in training and someone was lying down, he would approach with a clear message: "You get up or it's time to leave training". Really. He was still asking. "What, an ambulance?! An ambulance?! Are we calling an ambulance or are you getting up?" And suddenly everyone got up. "And yet it doesn't hurt," he triumphed.
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Did he end pretending?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Everyone in the team finished. You know, when there was a perfidious tackle, then the coach would get angry and admonish: "Too much." But some kind of slide, a sharp entry, without crying. And man, at one point, no one cried anymore. Everyone got up immediately and developed a character on it. We were fucking going and we rode this rhythm. We walked like soldiers. I really appreciate it. Thiago Motta in Bologna also has such a character. It's like, "Something hurts? Okay, then get off the field." He doesn't care if it's me or someone else. For him, the most important thing is who works in training.
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Once I talked to the referees, they said that Górnik was the easiest to ref. Because the players did not pretend, they did not argue with the referees. There was a ban from the coach.
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Łukasz Skorupski: The coach threatened that if we get a yellow card for talking, we will be punished immediately. I'll tell you he was right about that. He showed how important details and discipline are. He gave me my debut in Ekstraklasa in Wrocław with Śląsk together with Milik and Olkowski. I owe him a lot, he developed my character, he taught me discipline.
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And hard work in training.
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Łukasz Skorupski: He was famous for working hard.
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Only four workouts a day.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Just so you know that we really at the camps practiced three or four times a day. I remember the camp in Grodzisk Wielkopolski, where we started at six in the morning - oxygen, i.e. running. Honestly? I'll tell you, we complained, complained, and now I appreciate it. I'm in Italy and I'm not at all scared of their work here.
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Thanks to working with Nawałka, was it easier for you to find yourself in Serie A?
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Łukasz Skorupski: The approach I got to know thanks to him in Górnik, I met after coming to Italy. In my opinion, it has been abroad for a long time, but not yet in Poland at that time.
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You said that you and Nawałka keep in touch and write text messages.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Sometimes the coach will talk after the match. At the World Cup, he wrote to me in his style: "Congratulations, we keep fighting." When I defended against the Netherlands or Chile, he texted me that it was a good match.
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You sent back longer responses to show him you'd changed. No "Thank you", but a few lines.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I have to let him know that this is another Łukasz Skorupski. Because you know, I changed with him, I was a bit of a boor. I grew up with Górnik fans, we were all the same in Zaborze.
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Were you rude?
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Łukasz Skorupski: You know that, well... When I met Nawałka in Górnik, man, he also started teaching me such kindnesses. "Thank you, please, why don't you talk like that?" he pointed out. And so to all players, not just me. Thank the lady at the laundry. Thank the lady in the kitchen.
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"Good morning" must be said.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I didn't always say before. I will remember coach Nawałka well. In national team we talk about him a lot.
And what are you talking about?
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Łukasz Skorupski: That "Nawala" was fucking awesome. Everyone knows that we worked hard and everything was arranged like in the army. But man... There was no money in Górnik, but he was able to arrange everything in such a way, to wind up the president of Zabrze that she paid us salaries every month. Because earlier in Górnik they paid once every six months. The coach came and we came to him to help with these payouts. He met with the president and they started paying monthly. We didn't have rarities, but some fruits appeared after training.
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The fields had to be even.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Bartek Spałek, our masseur, I remember that he took creatine, some other supplements, conditioners. Everything was coming in.
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Was it Nawałka who introduced it?
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Lukasz Skorupski: Yes! Earlier, come on, and he introduced such a greater professionalism - breakfasts in the club, dinners in the club. He was trying to put it all together. Although I remember, honestly, that sometimes we complained about it.
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You called him Fidel.
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Łukasz Skorupski: It was like that, we were exercising at the gym. He was looking one way and you did eight reps instead of ten. Right away he would be angry with you: "How much have you done?! Eight! Two more!". I don't know how he saw it, but he didn't miss a thing man, he saw it all. At one point, the team thought, "Well, there's no resisting and there's a ride. We're going this way." We didn't have any outstanding players, and we were standing well in the table, even in sixth place.
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And many got promoted: you, Paweł Olkowski, Arek Milik.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Each of us has gone abroad. It was so that when Nawałka started, I did not believe in such things at all. He brought Remek Rzepka to the club, I think he studied in America. And he introduced what the entire Ekstraklasa is doing now. And yet we are talking about what happened ten years ago in Poland. They were the first to introduce rollovers.
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How did you react?
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Łukasz Skorupski: I did it, but with the thought - what the fuck is this? Shall I roll some muscles? Some rubber, extra work? Give me the ball and the games. And they began to notice that motor skills are improving, that injuries are prevented. In Górnik, everyone had to be at the gym half an hour before training.
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And you are doing it in Bologna now.
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Łukasz Skorupski: It's normal abroad. In Poland, it came with coach Nawałka. You know how it was in Ekstraklasa. Earlier, probably with coach Wieczorek... Although I don't remember. Okay, never mind. I was already playing in the first team, and I would arrive at the club at 10:50. Five minutes to get changed and at 11 I left for training. End of training, bath and departure.
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This would not work for Nawałka.
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Łukasz Skorupski: You had to be in his locker room 45 minutes before training. Let me tell you, I really appreciate it now. The best coach I had in Poland. I always talked when I was playing for Górnik that coach Nawałka should join the national team. He's gonna make all these rules, damn it. And you see - he did some result.
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Quarterfinals of the European Championship.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Damn, well... But let me tell you that at the national team it was a bit different. Lighter.
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At the first team training camp in Grodzisk Wielkopolski there was also a similar drill, only the players told him to let it go.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I wasn't there yet. He was so much more laid back after that. And you can't go like that during training sessions with the national team, because you play two matches a week. You come prepared from the club, you work on tactics without great strength and so on, because the match is coming soon. This is what it looks like in the national team. More could be done when it was EURO, where we had two weeks of preparation. Now at the World Cup, we didn't live in training either. All the time tactics and matches. But, you know, you've been in form because you're coming mid-season.
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I always remember Coach Nawałka well. I don't know how he did it, because there was poverty in Górnik, but at some point we had everything I said - nutrients, some fruit after training. We were paid our salaries every month. We went to Zakopane for the camp. Oh Jesus. We stayed in one of the best hotels. And what the fuck, how much we ran. But let me tell you - I have respect for the fact that he developed such a character for me.
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A lot of coaches could kick you out of the club for "Lorneta and Medusa", where you fought with other customers and trashed the place.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Well fuck, that's why I'm telling you. He gave me a second chance, he did a great job. After it happened, I had a meeting with him at the club. I entered the coach room without knocking. I sat down on the sofa right away, I remember that. The coach looked at me strangely: "What are you doing?! Get up, leave and come back like a normal person." So I went out, this time I knocked. I sat down and told him everything how it was.
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How did he react?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Nice, because he said that he also did stupid things in his youth. It happens to young people, you know you have to go crazy. The most important thing for him was not to do it again. And I didn't repeat it. I didn't play in the first match after this action, but in the next round I was again in the lineup. I had a good season, my best in Ekstraklasa. Because you know, damn, I wanted to repay him a little.
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Well, but he gave up on your brother.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Not him, but club's board.
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Michał was after a serious injury and trained as a guest with the first team of Górnik. He had a chance to stay.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Exactly. He was injured, he did not have a contract with Górnik, but he could train with us. We just did this action in "Lorneta and Meduza" and they thanked him right away.
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As the first.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Earlier there was an idea to offer him a contract. I got a penalty, Olo Kwiek got a penalty, Adam Danch got a penalty.
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How did the 20-year-old, promising player in Ekstraklasa felt arrested?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Four of us were in arrest - me, Adam Danch, Olek Kwiek and my brother. Each in a different cell. And man, what's going on down there? You sit and sleep with a break for food.
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Although good?
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Łukasz Skorupski: A piece of bread and tea in a metal mug. Jesus. The worst days of my life. I promise you. The worst three days of my life! I had everything ruffled, you're lying in the same clothes. Nor bathe, only pee somewhere next to people.
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Who were you sitting with?
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Łukasz Skorupski: With a guy who sold drugs to someone else who died. You understand?
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With a dealer.
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Lukasz Skorupski: Yes. Life is like that. I don't know how in Italy they will read it and ask: what the...? Even though it was ten years ago, write that it was ten years ago.
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You had a black eye then.
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Łukasz Skorupski: We sat in the same clothes and waited for them to take us out. We left after three days. We were pulled out by the late Krzysiu Maj with Bartek Laburda. Before that, there was also a sobering-up room. You go, you strip down to your panties and you sleep like that. Just so you know, because there are some psychos... They take their belts off, everything. You are lying on a mattress on the ground, and the worst thing is that there are twenty people in the room and there is no toilet.
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How did Matilde react to all this when you told her what you were like?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Well, she was in shock. But she also knows that I have changed. Also thanks to her. She appreciates that I was able to leave Zaborze and take care of myself, and you know what a difference it makes.
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Big?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Man, no... Compared to my life in Poland, it's a gulf. She appreciates that I was able to adapt to another. This in Italy. You know how they live here, you've seen it - coffee, cappuccino. Although there is also crime in Italy.
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You, for example, were robbed in Bologna.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Sometimes when I think about it, it still makes me furious. We lived on the ground floor in an apartment with a garden. I was playing at home against Napoli, Matilde left the house half an hour after kick-off. They had to watch her. After the match with my young and "Zielu" we still kicked the ball in the gym at the stadium. Leo knows his uncle, likes him. Everything's fine, we go home, and there's like a bomb went off. Everything is broken, lying on the ground. I felt fucking bad.
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Matylda was in Zaborze?
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Lukasz Skorupski: She was.
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Did she like it?
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Łukasz Skorupski: These were our beginnings, and you know how it is in a relationship - deeply in love, you won't say anything bad. Today, as she recalls that visit, she admits that she was shocked.
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What shocked her the most?
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Łukasz Skorupski: That Silesia is still so gray. And she's from Sardinia. For her, the strangest thing was that every block in Zaborze is the same. Only the number changes. She shook her head: "All the blocks are the same. Only the hospitals are different, and there is no difference." And what, well, I took her to Auschwitz, I remember. She insisted on going there. For Italians, this is a moving story, they take the history of the concentration camps seriously. She wanted to see, so we went. Today, when Matilde is in Poland, we mainly visit my family in the countryside. We will also go there this June.
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Where?
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Łukasz Skorupski: To my mother. It's a village, 50 kilometers from Brodnica. It takes an hour and a half to get to Toruń. Lakes, we have a boat, fish, bonfires in the evenings. It's fucking great there. Matilde likes it too, she loves nature. Boy, we're walking somewhere in the fields, and she raves about the cows. She's in love with animals, right. Cows, chickens, it doesn't matter.
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The whole family from mother and father - cousins, aunts - lives there. They all live 15 kilometers next to each other. One family from mom, the other from dad. Here is one village, here is another, and there was a disco between them. My parents met there. Later, my father went to Silesia to work in a mine, and my mother with him.
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Your dad wasn't interested in football.
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Łukasz Skorupski: He was from the countryside, he had nothing to do with football. He didn't play it at all. The old man was a boxer. You know, he trained himself and boxed himself.
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Did he go to your games?
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Lukasz Skorupski: No. Rarely. I don't blame him. I never wanted to be daddy's boy. When I was young, he used to come to a game.
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And when have you already played in Ekstraklasa?
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Łukasz Skorupski: I don't think he came to Ekstraklasa even once. My old man wasn't a Górnik. He watched on TV.
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When I started training in Zaborze when I was young, I jumped over the fence and was already on the pitch. Nobody had to see me off. When I was ten years old, times were different, I would get on a tram and drive an hour to training. Two transfers from Zaborze and you had to walk there too.
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You were ten years old and you were already driving alone?
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Łukasz Skorupski: We traveled from Zaborze in two or three. We had a training group where parents of other coaches licked ass, and I was always alone. I don't blame the old man for not coming. I know he worked hard and had to rest after the mine. Those who had more money, some business of their own, could come to their son whenever they wanted. They were sucking up to the coaches, giving gifts so that only the kid would play. I was the only one who didn't care about it. I was fucking great keeper in the youngsters and the coach loved me. His name is Jerzy Urban. Write it, write it, he will be happy. Sometimes we text each other. He treated me fairly even though I came without my parents and I didn't suck up to anyone. I was good and that was it, and he let me play. Other parents were furious: "Why doesn't my son play, I bought shirts for the team." The coach liked me so much that he would take me home after training and drink tea with the old ones.
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Two years older brother, Michał, also played football.
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Łukasz Skorupski: I think that as a goalkeeper I feel so good and agile because I had a different childhood. I would go outside with the boys and jump from tree to tree, doing some flips in the bushes. And train to add to that. Mom would let us out at nine o'clock in the morning, we would come back at 11 pm, when she was screaming from the window: "Come home!". That's how I grew up, huh.
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I would never trade my childhood for anything. I went crazy. Jesus, you went to the lake, no matter if the water was warm or cold. When I was young, I spent my summers in the countryside. We drove tractors, I went to work to pick strawberries or potatoes.
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Did they pay well?
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Łukasz Skorupski: Tenner in an hour. We earned about 50pln a day. In the evening we met at the fire station and played a match, and at the end a shop and ice cream. The next day the same. Oh, I slept in the barn too.
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Idyllic, carefree.
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Łukasz Skorupski: Like in the countryside. It was a little different in the city. Although I played football everywhere - in the countryside and in the city.