BBQ’s out a plenty!

There’s a flappy piece of a chunk of skin, the Pearson can’t sit flush against my ear, and when I push as far as I can go, the top half of the bar sticks out .
I got this piercing two days ago, but I’m only noticing the skin and bar now because there’s no blood.
I pushed the bar out a bit so you can see the skin better but What did this happen from? it being pierced on a certain angle or the needle itself? it looks like the tissue never got removed and tore my skin upwards. Which means it will never go away and will look bad when I wear a hoop.
Not only that, but when I do push the piercing in as far as it can go, it doesn’t sit flush against my skin and part of the bar sticks out.
What should I do, deal with it? or do what I’m thinking which is maybe I should just let it close and get it re-pierced some other time.

Part 1: Family
Both my mom and sister is kinda toxic, I've been controlled for my entire life, both does not respect boundaries and privacy, everything have to be done to their favour. It's like my opinions won't matter at all, they want me to do things for them, i have to do it if not they will be unhappy and they are scary, they will shout. Everyday I feel like i cannot do my own things as when my mom is at home, sister not home, mom wants me to be in the living room beside her and watch tv with her. When my sister is home, mom not home, my sister wants me to do things for her, constantly asking me for validation and seeks for my attention.
If i walked into my room, my mom would keep walk in and ask me to go to the living room, "as it will cost 1 more light and fan electricity" and well, if i continue staying in my room, she will shout which makes me anxious.
I cannot wear earpiece at home as my mom would say earpiece is bad for the ear but I don't even wear it the whole day. I always prefer to close my room door as it gives me security but she would question me and say that im hiding something and ask me why do i have to close the door. Spending time with my family is exhausting because my sister gaslights, twists her words and accuse me quite a few times and always ask me to help her do things as if im her personal helper. I can barely hangout with my friends as my mom will be angry that im going out. No matter who i go out with, my mom would ask who am i going out with, to where, eat what, don't come back too late, and in the middle of the day she would text or call me and ask if im being kidnapped.
My dad is ok with freedom, he have basic respect for boundaries and privacy but he cannot help me much as my mom never ever listens to dad...
Part 2: Dating
My mom says that i can only date after i graduate from university but i kept getting unsuccessful applications, basically can't enter university. I met this guy secretly and the vibe feels good, good personality, character, hardworking, sincere, non-smoker, no tattoos, no drugs, doesn't drink at all and he taught me alot and helped me to realise alot of things. My friends around me also find him a nice guy, like the bare minimum is there, im being treated nicely and I've known him for a year now and has been secretly dating him for 9months, there's definitely some arguments in between but all things good, it's just that im not allowed to bring him home like all couples do but i really want to and sometimes it's so difficult for me to even send a text because my mom will be constantly asking "who are you texting". Even our meetups I cannot say im meeting him as I'm afraid she will stop me from going out.
TLDR:
My family is giving me alot of anxiety as if im doing everything wrong, as if i cannot have a life and i cannot have personal space with basic respect and individual rights. I know i have to do something to make myself happier, i shouldn't give in anymore but im always so scared when mom and sister gets angry and shout. Idk what to do, i feel stuck at home, I've been trying to step out of my comfort zone...I really want to bring him home but i don't think my family will be happy about it, just because i cannot enter university. Currently i cannot move out due to certain reasons but when i can, i definitely would.

I have spent a year building a personal botting platform that interfaces with the kucoin futures markets. I really like this exchange currently, as it is one of the only market places that allows me to long/short at the same time for a delta neutral approach and it's API is pretty well maintained. My strategy is fairly sound and profitable, but it's not entirely risk free and feel the need to ask the important questions to understand some of the existing potential (and serious) risks:

1. Exchange solvency crisis or
2. a serious USDT (Tether) depegging event / bank run.

After everything we've seen in the crypto space it's not impossible for either of those events to occur. Kucoin has been transparent enough to release merkle proof trees to show funds are not being co-mingled which helps build trust, but this does not account for it's existing liabilities and debts it may also have on it's balance sheet. With so many meme coins and features on the exchange itself you have to question how many loans it's really taken out or given to other project executives and developers.
The real question comes down to then; what happens then if USDT depegs?
On the futures market everything (except a few) is mostly traded against USDT. That means in the event of a Tether collapse, if were to have any position opened long then those positions would increase in value in relation to Tether's. Short positions would then be put in a squeeze which would likely need extra margin added to prevent any liquidations.
How would kucoin handle this situation? Would kucoin close it's futures markets or suspend trading if USDT depegged or would it allow trading to continue as per usual if it did?
And what would happen to kucoin's liabilities and debts if a USDT depeg happened? For example: if the exchange lent out other assets in return for USDT, then it's balance sheet would be experiencing some serious unrealized losses and might be forced to make some big OTC trades to meet liquidity demands as traders scramble to exit positions and markets. This could lead to an insolvency issue, especially if all depositors start pulling funds out of central exchanges like this.
I understand that this place is mostly a poster board for memes and maybe some small technical questions, but this is a serious question with big implications for those who are trading on this market. It would be nice if a reputable member could provide some insight to this potential crisis situation that might hypothetically have some probability of occuring.

How many times did you end up quitting or forgetting about your goals and leading the life you have always lived?
If you’re anything like me, hundreds of times.I’ve set myself some wild goals in the past, almost all of which I didn’t achieve, didn’t attempt to achieve or quit trying to achieve.
I thought that everybody else around me was able to work on their goals, achieve them easily and live the life they’ve always wanted.
Turns out, most people never achieve their goals. Why?
If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you're waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it's a goal. - Scott Adams
I realise that I have never had a system, only goals. I was sitting around waiting for inspiration or motivation, or even hoping I would achieve those goals naturally with time.Now I know how stupid that was.

The Two Systems I Now Use to Achieve my Goals

1. Simplify then Systemise then Track
Start at the big goal, break it down into its smallest form and systemise it.
Say you have a goal to lose 12 pounds in 6 months. Perhaps you need to fit into some snug suit trousers for a wedding (asking for a friend…).
Well, that’s 1 pound every 2 weeks.That’s a much simpler goal to focus on. Now you just need a system to lose 1 pound every fortnight.
According to research, 1 pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories.
So every 2 weeks you need to burn an extra 3500 calories. Or cut 3500 calories from your diet. Or a combination of the two.
Goal: Lose 12 pounds in 6 months
Simplify: Lose 1 pound every 2 weeks
System: Walk for 1 hour per day (burn 250 calories per day)
Track: Mark an X in your calendar after your walk
You can pretty much forget about the goal as long as you focus on the system.
2. The Wall Calendar
Most people never achieve their goals because of a lack of consistency.
Popularised by Jerry Seinfeld, pin a giant 2023 wall calendar and mark an ‘X’ when you have done what you said you would do.
Seinfeld marked an X when he sat down and wrote jokes.“Just keep at it and the chain will grow longer every day.
You’ll like seeing that chain, especially when you get a few weeks under your belt. Your only job is to not break the chain.” - Seinfeld
I mark an X in my calendar after I complete my morning routine.
I wrote a more in-depth post about this system here.
If you want to achieve your goals, you need a system. Leave the ‘hopes and dreams’ for the next person. Maybe the two I use won’t work for you, so get searching for your system. Experiment and adapt others to make it work for you. But realise that every person out there that achieved some wild, far-reaching goal had a system in place.
Thanks for reading. This was originally posted in my newsletter, it's free to read and free to subscribe (if you like).

Havent drank in ages and for the most part my confidence is at an all time high. Should i be concerned about maybe getting sad after drinking one drink? What if that one drink leads to me getting sad and wanting to drink more?

I really like this idea of combining things like basic chemistry with magic. This one has stuck in my head a while after writing it, though the short story itself I feel lacks something.
Here's the link
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Reld led the crew further into the odd structure. Many of them whispered underneath their breath, awestruck. The building was fairly large, formed mainly of hallways that led into rectangular rooms. There was no second floor that they could see, but that hardly mattered. This find was extraordinarily well preserved.
The crew paused for a moment, and the flames held in their hands flickered as they hesitated. What if they didn't find anything? What if there was nothing of any worth here? What if they couldn't win the war?
"Well?!" A clear voice rang out in the darkness. "None of this is getting any less decrepit! Go and see what you can find!"
Reld grinned at E'lin, who flicked her wrist and summoned fire. The light that reflected off her hair may it seem to glow. "I thought I was the one who was supposed to lead this expedition."
"Well, you were going too slow. So I took the lead." She spun on her heel and briskly followed the rest of the crew to help.
Reld started after her, grinning dumbly.
Melthis noticed, and limped over to him, a smile spreading across his aged face. He put a frail hand on Reld's shoulder and told him what he told Reld every time.
The excavation of the structure was shockingly easy. The hallways hadn't collapsed under the earth, so they hadn't needed to bring any manipulators, although they did come in handy when moving piles of small metal tables and chairs.
Eventually, they came across a door that was locked. This was what Reld was here for, really. He was a manipulator of the highest order, able to exercise extreme control over metal. But his power came in bursts, so he was saved specifically for situations like this. He extended his hands towards the door, and focused. After a few seconds, the door compressed itself into a perfect sphere.
This room was the best-preserved of any of them. Any books found in the hallway--or even the other rooms--were decayed, unusable. They had a particular interest in books, as relics of the ancients were imbued with incredibly complex magic that they could not understand. The leader of Zator had what he called a "pistol." It could kill at range, spitting fire and metal with naught more than a thought. And they had found a relic inscribed with the letters NOKIA, which displayed odd, glowing symbols. It had stopped working a while after they found it, but it had astounded the elders all the same, prompting this excursion.
Needless to say, Reld quickly brought the tomes back to his home in the hopes that they could replicate a portion of the ancients' power, and protect their home. They also found curious wooden rods, odd apparatus that seemed designed to protect your eyes, vials and containers of odd substances, and various other knick-knacks.
Three months later, the experiments started. The scholars had translated the books to the best of their ability, and followed the instructions on one of the spells. It had involved an odd metal called Megnisium and a flame. The spell had increased the intensity of the flame like nothing anyone had ever seen.
Reld was particularly drawn to a vial of something called Mircurie. It seemed like metal, but it was a liquid. Hopefully, that would make it easier to manipulate. He fantasized about being able to use his power for more than a few seconds before he exhausted himself, and these thoughts intoxicated him.
Despite the warnings from the scholars, he opened the vial, and attempted to manipulate it. The metal responded as if it were a part of him. He twisted it into different shapes, sent it flying outward and calling it back, forming a blade, a shield, and everything in between. This would change everything. Manipulators didn't have to pit their will against the strength of steel anymore.
They could win countless battles with this strength.
As time went on, more and more of the substances were revealed to empower magic. Soldiers no longer had to worry about psychics taking control over them with the discovery of alomenum. And with megnisium, flames could blind enemy forces.
Eventually, Zator attacked. But they were not permitted to use the new powers, for the elders were afraid. Many had died. Fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters.
And E'lin. E'lin had died. And Reld couldn't do anything about it.
Reld soon confronted the elders. "Why do we still sit here and wait to be attacked! We could front an offensive, we could attack! We have the strength now! We could liberate every other village overtaken by the Zator!"
The elders fight long and hard. What if the magic isn't stable? What if it's bound to an area? What if, what if, what if.
But Reld had one final thing to say. Melthis had told him time and time again, but he had never listened. This time, he would.
"Nothing will ever happen unless you step forward."

So just some background info, I had a baby 6 months ago . During my pregnancy I gained 112 pounds . None of the doctors seemed concerned about that. Pre pregnancy I was around 130-140 . At the end of my pregnancy I was 247.6 pounds . And I had my baby early… 3 weeks early so who knows how much bigger I would of gotten. I immediately lost about 23 pounds of that just from baby ,fluids, and placenta weight. Over the next three months I got down to 199.
Now to clarify it took a lot of changes just to get down to this weight. I was eating in a calorie deficit of about 1500-1700 calories depending on activity level . I cut out processed food completely. Just whole foods. I upped my water intake and I don’t exercise at the gym HOWEVER that’s because my job is very physically demanding I mean getting 10,000 or more steps in one shift lots of squatting and lifting . Every shift I work I am sweating for 8 hours straight . I work 30 hours a week. I also get plenty of sleep about 7 hours or more a night . I only have one baby and a very supportive helpful husband so getting sleep has been no issue.
I didn’t mind that it took me all of that to lose the little amount of weight I did in that three months . I’m patient and self discipline is not an issue for me.
BUT Fast forward it is another 3 months later and I’m still at 199. I’m doing all the same things I’ve been doing. Nothing is budging . I got to a point of so much desperation that I tried intermittent fasting . I did the 16:8 fast. At first this seemed to work I got down to 196 but my weight has gone up to 199 and it’s been days so doesn’t seem like a weight fluctuation. During my 8 hour window I focused on lots of protein and still staying in my calorie deficit . I ate things like chicken, salmon, nuts, eggs, yogurt, some fruit. And no I did not overeat.
I’m at a loss of what to do . I understand that postpartum weight loss takes time and that it can be slow, but I’m 6 months out now it’s been 3 months of nothing and this seems excessive. I’m just not sure what else I could do . I’m wondering if now would be a good time to seek a doctor for help but also concerned I won’t be taken seriously or they’ll just tell me to do one of the things I’ve already been doing.
Edit: I’d like to add that I’ve been taking measurements too not just using the scale to monitor progress and my lost in inches has also stalled.

I just finished my first manuscript and submitted it to an Unpublished Authors contest, but wanted to court Agents for traditional publishing. When is an appropriate time for that? Especially since part of the prize is publishing and an agent relationship.
Not assuming I'll win but I don't want to overstep in haste. Thank you all!

I (27F) have Taylor Swift tickets for the Detroit show. I make about 2x as much as my friend Annie (28F) - BUT I have student loans and she does now. Her only expense is rent, which is about half the market rate as her mom owns the house.
When I got the opportunity to buy the tickets, I immediately asked Annie if she wanted to go. She said yes and asked if we could put them on my card, and she would PayPal me. I agreed.
We have hung out several times since. She has said things like “oh don’t let me forget to pay you.” And “I get paid Friday so I’ll pay you right after that!”. She has not. I texted her yesterday and this morning asking about when she will pay me. Yesterday, she ignored it and changed the subject. Today, she’s just ignoring the text. She was texting me back right away before I asked.
The concert is coming up fast. She and I have both bought outfits and merch for the concert. She has still not paid for her ticket - which was cheaper than the merch. I’m getting frustrated. I don’t know if she thinks I should just buy it because I make more, but I’m not doing it. The ticket was only $99.
How long should I give her to pay me for the ticket? I have another friend who would love to go, and I could see if she is willing to pay for it. I can almost guarantee she will, and she doesn’t even have a job. But I guarantee she would pay immediately.
What would you do? Should I text her she needs to pay me by a certain date or I’ll offer it to the other friend?

Aside working at animal sanctuaries, which don’t really exist in my city, is there anything out there?
My strengths lie in writing and art, and I want to use these skills to contribute to the movement and finally have a job that aligns with my values.
I currently work as a waitress, and honestly, it pays really well for not having a bachelor’s degree or specialized training. I feel guilty for serving meat and other animal products though, and I just generally want out of this stressful, degrading, thankless job.
I could write for vegan blogs and get involved in journalism, but without a degree, I feel like I’ll be overlooked. I want a nice WFH job that I can do on my own time and feel like I’m not losing my day to 10 hour shifts.
Does anyone have any resources or connections?
Thanks!

I had to change my instacart payment information as well as my email address because the last time I shopped with Instacart just a day later I happened to have an unauthorized charge on my bank account physical address was the address of instacart in San Francisco, I reported this to my bank immediately with all the information. I just attempted to place an order for groceries and at the checkout I get the following: "we couldn't process your payment FRAUD, you have not been charged, to continue please replace your credit/debit card with a different payment method. Wow this is ridiculous. I followed my banks advice and got a new card etc changed my account information and this is what I got from instacart. I am a customer with them since 2018. Instacart sucks.

We just moved to the area and word had spread round that we had money and we're new to the area and essentially targets. We live next to the part of town where all the crack users get together and sit along the wall, but they never come near our house.
Friday night someone knocked and I answered because I've made a couple friends in the area and assumed it was someone I know and I'm aware that's stupid but anyway, he grabbed me and took me in the living room saw there was nothing and took me into my room, my partner was there and he made him open the safe where we had passports and maybe £450, and also he took our phones and my main bank card. He was demanding we give him the cash and had no money whatsoever but apparently we did so he was getting more and more angry.
He realised someone told him a rumour about us having money and expensive items but told us if we tell the police he'll kill us. We have cameras that recorded the whole thing and each show up till when he walks up to them and turns it off but you clearly see him assaulting us and most the experience.
I want to report it but he said his family would kill us. Without police no insurance no new phone, no justice, no nothing. If we go to the police his family may truly show up and break the door down.
I'm scared to go to the shop and I'm scared he'll come back especially if he thinks we didn't report this so we won't in the future and that it's an easy £450 and two iPhones.
Legally speaking, if I report it will there be any way at all that I'll have any type of protection from his family such as asking my housing association to move us because when I told them she said things happen go police and that's that.
I'm mentally disabled I guess as I suffer from paranoia - hence the cameras - and I suffer from anxiety.
Edit: We are in England (midlands).

HELLO EVERYONE!
I passed high school in 2016 from West Bengal & I was trying to qualify NEET to get admission in a government medical college, but I didn't qualify for a government MBBS seat in all of my previous attempts. So, I also took WBJEE 2023 exam and recently they published the rank card and I got a rank under 110. So, after checking previous year ranks, I am sure I'll get into either Jadavpur University or University of Calcutta, but which one should I choose studying (educational_info: ) B.E. IT in Jadavpur University Or doing B.Tech CSE from University of Calcutta?
Will it be difficult to get a good placement for me if I start my B.tech now because I am too old and have so many gap years! I only went for college for a B.Sc. degree and spent 1 years in total in that college and during all the other years I kept on trying to crack NEET but I failed miserably. I have no option now other than studying engineering. So, which one should be best option for me?
I am already too old and during placement season if I can't even grab some good offers, I don't know what I'll do, my parents already know that I am a failure, relatives and all others always made fun of me because I failed and wasted so many years. I know that mass recruiters and few companies don't accept students with study gaps after high school, then what should I do?
Will I even get a good job offer if I worked hard during my time in either Jadavpur University or University of Calcutta? I don't know anyone who studied from these 2 universities, so I don't know much about them, I just know they are 2 of the best universities for engineering in my state. Will all companies always look down on me because I have so many gap years? What should I do? Ican't do M.Tech because I am already an old man.
It feels like I am dying inside because of my pain and insecure future and literally everyone I know including myself hates me. I know I am an utter failure. Please tell me there's a way forward and please guide me on how to secure a good job. That's all I can ask. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS. PLEASE HELP ME.

Hi Tallahassee, I'm looking for some help or advice on what to do here.
My family has 4 dogs in the house who all get along and like each other except for one. Our only female dog does not like the youngest male dog. She gets really anxious around him and that comes out as aggression, barking, snapping, etc.
She's normally a very sweet dog, she likes to sit on the couch with people and be pet and she looks up at you with these adorable and loving eyes. She's quiet and calm most of the time, and has no issues with the other two dogs in the house, she'll share a bed with them for example.
The youngest dog riles her up just through his normal happy-go-lucky behavior (he's part husky).
We've been trying to find a solution to this situation for a couple years now. We've had a couple different dog trainers come through, we worked with one for a while and implemented new ways of training but it hasn't resolved this specific issue. The house has every room and hallway gated off so the dogs can be separated, and she has her own crate which she goes into as well.
None of this has stopped her desire to attack the youngest dog. Most recently, when my dad was moving the dogs from one room to another, she lunged for the youngest dog while my dad was leading her. He tried to pull her back but her collar came off and she started attacking the other dog. She's a medium-large dog and the other is a large dog, my dad is a senior and he had a hard time pulling them apart. She ended up biting my dad in the arm as he was separating them, but he did manage to get them apart. Both dogs were ok with some minor injuries.
My dad has had enough of this constant conflict and is ready to re-home her or bring her back to the shelter. We all agree that she's adoptable due to her normal behavior (if the youngest dog wasn't here, everything would be fine) but because she has a history of aggression, we believe that the shelter will put her down.
We've tried calling and emailing a dozen or so shelters and sanctuaries, but they're all at capacity and not taking on more animals. One several hours from here said they have a year-long waiting list.
My dad is fed up and will take her to the shelter later this week no matter what. My sister and I are trying to figure out what to do. Is there a way she can live through this? Can we find her a home? Help!

Why do I call them that? Partly because when the TOTK game came out, I was half delirious with sickness and couldn’t be bothered to remember their actual names. But mostly because that’s what they are:
A basement is dark, spooky, filled with ghosts and other creepy things. Descending into them is a process as you seriously debate with every step if the item you need to get is actually worth it.
An attic is cramped, and filled with old, broken things that hardly anyone alive can remember is there, but you can spend hours exploring the old forgotten stuff because it’s cool and full of nostalgia, even if the nostalgia isn’t yours. There’s only one way into the attic, and it’s kind of a pain to access, so you wait until you have enough time to go there in case you get stuck in a nostalgic trip.
But I like the basement better. There’s something exciting about not being able to see too far ahead, and having huge, dark monsters suddenly appear in the fringes of the light you do have as you exclaim “What is THAT?!” Plus I like the music better. The attic music is too relaxing. The basement music keeps you on edge.
What about you? What’s your preference?
*edited because I realized I didn’t specify which Zelda game I was referring too.

Here is my system spec
Processor AMD Ryzen 7 2700 Eight-Core Processor, 3200 Mhz, 8 Core(s), 16 Logical Processor(s)
BIOS Version/Date American Megatrends International, LLC. 1.J1, 5/6/2023
SMBIOS Version 2.8
Embedded Controller Version 255.255
BIOS Mode UEFI
BaseBoard Manufacturer Micro-Star International Co., Ltd
BaseBoard Product B450 TOMAHAWK (MS-7C02)
BaseBoard Version 1.0
​
I looked into the specification for the B450, it suggests the ECC memory should be supported. attached below: MEMORY

• 4 x DDR4 memory slots, support up to 64GB
• Supports 1866/ 2133/ 2400/ 2667Mhz (by JEDEC)
• Supports 2667/ 2800/ 2933/ 3000/ 3066/ 3200/ 3466 MHz (by A-XMP OC MODE)
• Dual channel memory architecture
• Supports non-ECC, un-buffered memory
• Supports ECC UDIMM memory (non-ECC model)

​
Technical Specifications for the RAM M393A4K0BB1-CRC0Q

• ManufacturerSamsung
• Manufacturer Part #M393A4K0BB1-CRC0Q
• Memory TypeDDR4 SDRAM
• Capacity32GB
• Data Transfer Rate2400Mhz
• Pins288 Pin
• Bus TypePC-19200
• Error CorrectionRegistered ECC
• Cycle Time0.83ns
• CasCL17
• Memory Clock300Mhz
• RankRank 2
• Voltage1.2

​
However when I try to install the RAM, in a single slot or dual the IO ports stops working and the PC will not boot. Switching the RAM to what I was using just works fine.
Someone online said, the registered ECC will not work, but not sure if that is the case for my scenario. Any idea or explanation will be much appreciated