Bacon wrapped pork tenderloin pit boss

Just picked up a Lil Tex used a couple weeks ago for $200. Got it all cleaned up (it was actually super clean when I got it) and today is my first run at smoking.
All the reading I did said that pulled pork is pretty simple and cheap if you mess it up.
Just used the pulled pork recipe from the Traeger app. Only change I made so far was using BBQ sauce to coat the meat before I put on the seasoning.
Famous Dave’s Rich & Sassy sauce and coated with Pit Boss pulled pork rub. Using Lumberjack Competition Blend pellets.
Probed with a cheap wired thermometer from WalMart.
Here we go! 🍻
Open to suggestions / tips / critiques / roasts / insults.

Shadow (Blaze) and Mihrab (Larissa) Go to Earth
After 1000 more years ruling over Earth the demons are sent back to Hell as the Planet is reformed and given new life over the next 1000 years....
....
....
....
Shadow looks at Mihrab as she walks from her throne next to him.
Whispers go through the masses.
"Let the bloodshed begin!" Shadow Shouts.
Mihrab stands beside him looking out upon the demon army with a look of excitement in her eyes as they fight each other viciously.
In the chaos her and Shadow slip away unnoticed as they head for Hell's portal to Earth and they enter together unseen.
Shadow has a bad feeling as he knows that the demons are gonna be upset that they left....
....
....
Landing in a random forest they cast a spell and their demonic forms become human. Shadow appears as a 5 foot 9, athletically built tan male with black hair and golden brown eyes, while Mihrab morphs into a 5 foot 4 red head with deep green eyes.
Looking at Shadow. "You look so handsome!" Mihrab says.
"Yeah, well I think you look really hot too." He responds.
"Oh yeah! That's what I've been waiting for." She smiles as she turns to walk off and he follows.
...
...
...
Over the next year they build a cabin and feast on the more wicked humans and also hunt animals for food.
One day Shadow comes home from hunting and finds Mihrab naked in the middle of their small hut.
"What the hell?" He asks.
She smiles up at him. "I saw some humans doing this thing before I ate them. I want to try it." She says standing up as she wraps her arms around him and shuts the door.
...
...
Shadow lays in bed not sure what just happened but having enjoyed it a lot.
"How did we never know about this sex?" He asks.
Mihrab laughs. "We don't reproduce so we didn't really need it like humans." She says.
A few days later Mihrab rushes up to Shadow. "Baby, I think I'm pregnant!" She says excitedly.
"Are you sure?" He asks confused.
She nods " I can feel it." ....
....
....
The next week they are both out walking some local trails when they see a human man and woman, waving to them as they walk by and they wave back.
"Look out!" Shadow shouts.
Just then a huge boulder falls on top of the couple killing them instantly.
Mihrab jumps in shock as another man and woman appear.
"Dammit it covered them completely. Shame, I'd love to piss on their demon ashes. You two are lucky we came along or those demons would've surely eaten you. I am William Aklesen and this is my wife Crystal." The man says as he sheaths his specially made sword.
"We have been watching that strange couple for days and saw one change in front of the other." He adds.
Mihrab looks at Shadow. "Are you serious. Oh my God thank you so much. How could we ever repay you?" She says to the couple.
William smiles. "Well now that you mention it, how about a little reward for saving you from the demons?.... I apologize if I sound rude, we are hard supplies and haven't been around people in awhile. Demon hunters like me and my wife are avoided by most."
Mihrab smiles. "It's the least we could do. We'll give you some money and a warm meal at our humble little cabin." She says to the couple as they all walk down the path.
Shadow is a bit confused and after awhile asks. "So why did you save us? Why did you even care?"
William smiles. "Oh our business is with the evil itself. We can only do so much. We just saw two humans in trouble and had to act." Says William as they all reach the cabin where Shadow and Mihrab lead them inside and follow through with their plan...
...
Hours later....
William laughs at one of Shadow's jokes as the fire crackles and Crystal chats with Mihrab about the war in the east.
After a warm meal and and payment the couple stay the night.... At Mihrab's request...
...
...
The next morning everyone is outside by the fire laughing and getting to know each other when 4 demons come into view and William grabs his sword as Crystal tells Shadow and Mihrab to get behind them.
They watch as the wife fires an arrow that kills one demon somehow. The others move quickly and start to overwhelm William and Crystal as they seem to struggle....
Shadow and Mihrab know if they help them it means betraying their own kind and revealing themselves to the human couple as well as their own kind as they both rush in with super human speed catching the demons weapons and knocking them back.
Dashing forward Shadow slides under a sword swipe as he swings at the demon's mid section then pivots as he brings the sword up another demons mid-line splitting him in half as Mihrab simply punches hers into a pulp. William and Crystal raise their weapons.
"You two are demons!" William says angrily rushing at Shadow and swings his sword.
Shadow avoids it and knocks the man down in time to see Crystal fire an arrow at him that he dodges as he rushes over snapping her bow as he hears the arrow impact. "Shadow!" Mihrab cries in pain.
He looks to her to find her holding her side as she is breathing heavily. Shadow looks back to the fight seeing William has been knocked out.
"Are you..." He tries to say but is interrupted by William jumping up.
Swinging his sword slicing a vain in his neck and then thrusting it into his heart.
Shadow pushes the man away and falls towards Mihrab who he now sees clearly dieing from the poisoned and blessed arrow as Crystal stands over her with a sword.
Mihrab looks up at her with tears in her eyes as the breath catches in Shadow's throat and his vision goes blurry from tears.
Bringing the sword down Crystal stabs the blade through Mihrab's heart viciously and Shadow flies into a rage turning to is demon form as he roars and attacks her.
He is shocked when she holds her stance blocking him with ease as he slams against her pushing her back across the soil. Twirling rapidly using Shadow's force on her to her advantage she cuts off his arm and stabs him several times then dances away calmly.
Her blue eyes now grey as a strange heat flows from her.
Shadow screams in agony dropping to the dirt clutching the infernally hot wound as he looks over at Mihrab...
Crawling over to her trying to grab her hand as William strikes alongside Crystal and everything goes black....
...
...
Hours later.
Shadow wakes in Purgatory for a third time but next to Mihrab and they are still human looking along with Mihrab still being pregnant.
Mihrab stirs next to him looking sad. She looks at him. "You have to help us." She says and suddenly he jerks awake without her next him. Tho he isn't alone as one of the demons Velzix commands blast him the head...
...
...
Waking near the Leviathan pit Shadow looks up at the sky awhile as he assumes Velzix has taken Mihrab and he now is far weaker than the general to his demon army.
On top of being stuck in a human looking form from the spell, none of the demons recognize their king as he moves towards the castle Velzix calls home....
....
....
Before Shadow can reach it however an angel falls from the sky slamming him into the ground angrily. The angel flaps it's wings and they launch 100 miles into the sky within seconds. Holding Shadow firmly by the neck. "Where is my angel blade you demon piece of shit? Tell me now or I drop you and you lose even more power." The angel says menacingly.
Shadow looks around. He sees a small village of demons and creatures of all kinds.
"I'll ask again. Where is the angel blade?" The angel says hitting him in the stomach harder than any demon ever could but making it a shallow hit. Shadow coughs up the purple blood of souls and demons in Hell as he tries to catch his breath.
He struggles to speak. "It's in....the....Leviathan pit." He says.
"Oh god no. You fool what have you done..." Raising his hand the weather changes as a massive amount of energy surges through him.
"On second thought, go fetch my blade. And tell Lilly, Gabriel sent you." He says angrily as he lets go. Then somersaults into a kick sending Shadow cratering into the ground killing him again along with 1000 other demons and creatures.
...
...
2 days later Shadow reawakens in Purgatory. The process taking longer for lower energy beings. "Shit. I'm barley stronger than the lower demons in my army." He thinks walking towards the torture center of Hell where Velzix has made his castle.
Demons around see a human but sense his demonic energy and largely ignore him.
Shadow gets closer to the castle and sees a large group of humans chained together. He walks among them and looks at their faces.
One man in the middle Shadow recognizes. "William? What happened, how did you die and end up here?" He says to him.
"I died because of your actions. A demon named Mihrab took over the world with her magic and started slaughtering people. Her transformation into true form healed the wounds she sustained. Are you happy now scum?" He says hatefully.
Shadow turns to demon form with some effort and snatches William up taking him to his castle chambers. No demons question their king tho they are surprised by his reappearance.
"What are you doing!? Take me to Velzix!" William yells at Shadow.
"Ha, funny you wouldn't last 2 seconds with him. Those other demons were ants in comparison to Velzix..." Says Shadow who is then silent until reaching his private Chambers.
Once safely inside he turns to William. "Just so you know me and Mihrab didn't want to hurt you guys or any innocent people. I lost it when Crystal attacked the one I love and Mihrab flipped when she saw me die. I'm sorry William." Shadow says.
William looks at Shadow more intently. "Thats a crazy story. Demons in love, doing what trying to be human...." He says as if he had just heard it all.
"Not trying to be human. Just get away from Hell and how they hate how we are together and how we change each other. It was her idea to eat killers and rapists we caught in the act. Saved a few people and then we met you and Crystal. We really did just want to have some real friends..." Shadow tells William.
Suddenly Gabriel comes through the window and floats there. " The angel blade." He says annoyed and angry. Shadow looks at him. "I know. I just had to keep this human from getting tortured. I think of him as a.....friend." Says Shadow.
"Fine. Just hurry. That blade could help them break out of their Leviathan prison." He says looking Shadow in the eyes.
"I will. Don't worry." Saying that he takes a sword from him.
Shadow walks out of the room and goes directly to the pit.
Looking inside he can't see the blade anywhere.. "Shit. Its probably somewhere deeper inside." He thinks as he crosses the threshold into the Leviathan pit once again.
He makes his way further into the pit as he sees there is a small opening in the ground, reaching it Shadow looks down to see an old woman.
Seeing she is sitting in front of a wall with a candle but vanishes as the illusion is broken he looks up in surprise.
Suddenly a giant tail slams into him knocking him further into the pit as a second smaller Leviathan's mouth barrels into the ground where he had been.
Looking around dazed Shadow sees a silver glint in the distance.
He steadies himself then takes off, his head clearing quickly as he sprints toward the Angel Blade and sees several Leviathans closing in.
Grabbing the blade as he dives forward he rolls over and looks up into a Leviathan's void above him. Again another Leviathan interferes blasting energy at it's sibling knocking it away violently.
The other Leviathan them looms over Shadow and darts toward him with its mouth open.
"He is mine you greedy bastard."
Shadow recognizes Lilly by her voice as he somehow evades the lightning fast attacks and barley escapes through the threshold.
Lilly slams into the barrier hard behind him collapsing a building outside the pit and moving the whole infinite void the pit exists in several feet as the barrier tears into the ground ploughing dirt up violently enough to knock Shadow out....
....
....
Shadow wakes to the sound of a child crying.
He opens his eyes and sees the room empty.
"Mihrab!" He calls out.
Getting out of the bed he moves to the doorway and sees Elaine, a human. She looks over at him and smiles. "You should be resting after atakin a hit like that." She says.
He doesn't say anything as he walks back to the bed and lays down as Elaine watches him for a moment in a mirror on the wall.
She is sure he is in bed before she gets out of the covers and off the couch she had slept on. "I'll make you some breakfast." She says politely as she goes into the kitchen.
She makes eggs, bacon and toast for him and herself. Very hard to find in Hell but possible in Purgatory...
...
...
After the meal Shadow lays back down.
Sitting in a chair Elaine finishes eating while watching him sleep for a few moments then stands and starts to clear the dishes off the table.
"Peculiar for the king of demons" She thinks to herself going about her daily routine.
"Hey Shadow...." He lifts his head. "Yes." "Do it for all of Us here that hate this place. Whatever it is your thinking right now is what you should do but I can't tell you anymore than that." She says to him.
Shadow looks confused for a moment. Then he nods. "Alright." He says.
"Good luck my King. May the Gods and Goddess guide you to victory!" She tells him.
With that, the candle is blown out as he understands why she ended up here.
A hospitable corner of Purgatory where occasionally demons come through grabbing anyone they want. Feeling it isn't fair to such a nice lady, he considers what it is she is she could be meaning....
....
The next day
Shadow says farewell to his new friend Elaine and heads to his castle where he finds Gabriel still waiting.
"You actually survived. I'm impressed. You know what. Keep it. Your gonna need it more than me anyway." Says Gabriel.
Suddenly the angel blade vibrates as it matches Shadow's vibrations. It then turns to energy and is absorbed into his hand. Personal ownership having been given.
Thrusting out his arm to the side the blade materializes instantly in his hand as is crackles with white and blue energy.
Gabriel looks at him and asks. "Where did you find it anyway?"
"I'm not telling you. Why?" Shadow inquires.
"Just curious." He says.
Shadow walks out of the room and heads out of his castle.
A short time later he arrives at his old house that he and Mihrab tried hiding away in during the demons reign on Earth.
Seeing no one around he opens the door to the half exploded structure. Velzix having thrown a fit 500 years ago starting a 100 year civil war among the demons dividing Hell for a time.
Inside is the same as he remembers. Dusty, dirty and smelly.
He looks around and sees some of the furniture is gone and a lot of other stuff is missing. He notices a book laying on the floor and picks it up. "Shadow-Universe: multi-universal adventure." It says.
He walks through the house looking for Mihrab. Finding the kitchen he sees she is sitting there eating.
Rushing over to her he hugs her tightly.
Looking at her closely. "I though you died when William and Crystal attacked us my Love." He says without thinking.
She looks upset for a second then says. " I almost did but I guess when I lost it my demon form healed me. I still died not long after when a massive astroid hit the planet landing on my head."
"What!?" He exclaims.
"Don't worry about it now we need to go somewhere safe for a while until things settle down again." She says with an evil grin on her face.
He holds her close and kisses her deeply. "I love you. Where do we go?" He asks.
She answers him by taking off her clothes in front of him.
His eyes open wide. "Are you serious? Are you..." She shuts him up grabbing him in a kiss as she falls back onto the bed not far from the kitchen.
Looking him in his eyes. "Give me another son." She sighs breathlessly...
...
...
Shadow lays thinking hours later. Where is our first child at and what is his name?" He asks.
As she sits on her knees in front of him. She has a wicked smile on her face.
"His name is Meliodar. He was born after I died. I woke up and there he was.... He is in the battle pit making a fierce name for himself now."
He looks at her and asks "Is he going to be okay?"
Mihrab answers him. "Yes. He is strong and powerful. He is your son after all." She says. .
"When are you planning on telling him about us? We can't keep this secret forever." He asks her....
....
....
She hugs him. "Not yet. Let's see how he does. If he is like us or the others. He is very dark and evil just oozes off him." She says. "So far he is violent and totally accepting of Hell's ways. But he is a baby so we can't give up on him my Love."....
....
....
Shadow laughs as part of him finds it amusing to hear such things from a demon. Part of him agrees completely and he leans towards the option of not giving up as the unknown and unseen presence watches from across the room.
"Interesting" The presence says then vanishes....
....
....
The next day Shadow and Mihrab go to the battle pit to see Meliodar as it is his first fight against more powerful demons and he is doing well so far.
Meliodar looks across the ring at a humanoid wolf demon that was a lesser appointed leader of the demon wolf tribe put in place by Shadow for his massive power.
Shadow looks at Razor with worry as Meliodar is dwarfed by the demon wolf's size. His lion like legs poised ready to rush in. The bell rings and Meliodar vanishes in a cloud of dust and exploding rock as he explodes forward with incredible speed.
"NO!" Shadow shouts unable to follow his movements thinking the worst as it catches him by surprise.
Razor is fast but seems to be no match for the little demon as he pummels him from every direction with strikes that rock the arena.
Razor roars in anger as his dark energy flares and a blast front pushes Meliodar away slamming him into the side wall of the ring.
Shadow and Mihrab jerk to their feet watching in shock as Meliodar shakes himself off and fires a powerful dark energy beam at Razor as he charges toward him.
Shadow stands there frozen with fear as he sees razor's eyes glow red before he lets out a roar and blasts the smaller demon with another wave of dark energy.
Meliodar's aura density increases near the attack and he pushes through in a massive blast of wind.
Landing in front of Razor he launches himself at the huge beast impacting with his claws first and ripping straight through him as if he wasn't even there. Looking around Meliodar roars in victory as the demons and creatures erupt in cheers....
....
The darkness within Meliodar and his ruthlessness makes Shadow and Mihrab so proud of their little demon, the first of his kind to be born instead of created or being a tortured soul twisted into a demon.
Despite this happiness they have set aside leaving for Earth, Meliodar being far to violent to take and hide with....
....
....
5 years later
Shadow wakes to find Meliodar has gone missing. Searching all of hell he is unable to find him and returns to the castle pacing as his demons continue the search clearly upset at the King and Queen's concern for their son.
Velzix walks up to shadow and Mihrab. "What is wrong? Why are you both acting this way?" He asks Shadow as he ignores Mihrab.
Shadow looks at the demon hatefully. "He is my son, me and his mother are worried about him." He says and the demons look at him in shock.
Velzix angrily storms away as Shadow and Mihrab go out once more to search for their son
Again they find nothing.
They return back to the castle where the demons look at them questioningly. "Has our king gone soft one says. "I think he has." Says another.
Suddenly Velzix walks in with several powerful demons who kill Shadow's guards... He then walks up to the throne Shadow is sitting in as he looks around.
Looking at Velzix Shadow knows what's about to happen knowing he still isn't powerful enough to win after dieing so many times.
Velzix takes a breath. "SHADOW, I CHALLENGE YOU FOR YOUR THRONE. If I win you can have it back when you learn to be a proper demon." He says and the demons gasp.
Shadow stares at him knowing he has to accept the challenge fully aware he can't win.
Velzix then adds." On top of that if I win I also get your queen Mihrab as my Slave." He says and the demons lose it as those loyal to Velzix cheer and the demons that stand by Shadow roar and screech their disapproval.
A demon strikes another and they all begin fighting as Shadow and Velzix stare each other down in the chaos.
Shadow sighs. " Velzix please don't do this...." He says drawing a hand from Velzix.
"See what I mean. A demon saying please. " Velzix exclaims. His hand out as if presenting something.
Velzix laughs deeply. "I don't even have to turn around to my demons to know they are beating yours..... I actually trained mine while you and that retched demoness let your demons run amok with no true leadership and now they are weak... I don't want to do this my King but you leave me no choice. I will not allow you to lose yourself and ruin our kingdom and you being away from that sickeningly nice demoness. Will do you some good...." He says
The demons following Velzix kill the last of Shadow's followers and Velzix cracks his neck as he looks him.
Suddenly Velzix is beside Shadow as he lands a powerful kick. Shadow is blasted out of the castle and into a large open field of dead soil bouncing violently until hitting the side of a cliff almost making him black out.
He looks up as Velzix grabs him by the neck and begins squeezing tightly.
Shadow gasps for air as Velzix laughs.
"You should really practice breathing before you try to fight. You seem to forget that a human is supposed to inhale first." He says slamming his fist into Shadow's stomach knocking the wind out of him as he coughs up purple blood falling to his knees.
"This fight is over. Your throne and your Queen are mine." Velzix says as he looks over at Mihrab grabbing Shadow by the head.
Mihrab cries as Velzix fires an energy beam through Shadow's shoulder and then impales him with his bare hand. As Shadow's eyes start to glaze over Velzix swings him by a leg violently bashing him around in a frenzy.
He smirks. "Now to finish it..." Raising his hand he gathers dark energy for an attack. "ALL HAIL THE NEW KING!" Velzix yells vaporizing Shadow's broken and weak body instantly as Mihrab watches in horror.
Velzix walks over to her and she backs away till she hits the far wall.
"Come now, is that anyway to act towards your new king?" He says to her grabbing her by the waist with one hand squeezing.
Mihrab screams. "NOOOOOOO!, I refuse to see you as my King" She cries.
He throws her to the ground and she rolls to the floor. "It is time for a lesson on how demons are supposed to act. Razor... Go and prepare The Room of Eternal Suffering." Velzix says as Mihrab protests in terror.
Velzix punches her hard in the face knocking her out as he drags her to his castle. On the way he thinks of all the ways to make her suffer for making Shadow so weak....
....
....
....
Shadow wakes to find himself in the middle of a very big desert with no memory of where he is. It is night and he can hear voices but they're too faint to understand.
Moving closer to the voices, they become clearer.
"Did you see how Velxiz decimated Shadow, it was amazing." One demon says and another pushes him. "Shadow is our king and I will not bow to Velzix. This is......." The voice cuts off with a gurgle.
Shadow gets closer and sees a large group of demons surrounding a single figure lying on the sand.
Shadow runs to the group and one turns to him. "Hey new guy! Who do you think is our true king. That weakling Shadow or our almighty leader Velzix?" He asks Shadow not recognizing the former king in his disguise.
Looking at the group, the former king can see that all these demons but one support Velzix.
Shadow laughs. "Velzix is the greatest. Screw Shadow Seed." He says.
"You don't know what you are talking about. Shadow is the only demon worthy of ruling Hell. He is the chosen of the Gods and the most powerful of us!"
Another interrupts. "He used to be, he died several times and lost most of his power. Velzix didn't even try to beat him."
The first demon looks at Shadow. "Shadow doesn't have a chance against Velzix. Right?" The demon says to him. Shadow nods.
A large elephant sized demon walks over to him looking him up and down.
"You are filled with dark energy but are you even a demon? What's your name?" It asks.
He looks at the beast. "My name is.... Blaze, I was just created. And yes I am a full demon." Says Shadow turning into a demon wolf.
One of his lesser known forms. The demons again fail to recognize him as they find his answer acceptable.
Shadow looks around knowing that if they find out his real identity they will kill him for Velzix to stay in power as they begin beating his other follower.
As he thinks about Mihrab and how to save her from Velzix a demon wolf walks up to him.
"You look like a good fighter. Come with me. We'll train together. You'll learn a lot from me. My Name is Shadow Wolf." The demon wolf says to Shadow Seed.
He follows and they talk about the last conquest of Earth till they arrive at Shadow Wolf's castle.
He orders several wolf demons away for privacy as he turns to Shadow.
"I am almost 100 percent sure you are Shadow Seed in disguise." Shadow Wolf says to him once there are no other demons around.
Shadow stiffens. "How can you tell?" He asks Shadow Wolf.
The wolf demon sits. "You look exactly like him. Your eyes, ears, nose...everything is identical to Shadow's. Even your voice sounds similar. Tho you look far less demonic as a human. But the thing that made me sure was something you can't hide. Your dark energy is identifiable to those who are good at sensing energy." He says....
Shadow Wolf prepares for the first day of Shadow's training...
...
...
Over the next 3 months Shadow goes by the name Blaze and changes his look slightly to go unnoticed.
Many demons in Hell having sided with Velzix and a good portion plotting to kill Shadow if they find him. Even if it is against the orders of Velzix.
Their way of ensuring Velzix stays on the throne.
Velzix is now the ruler of Hell. He has his hand on the reins of every demon and they obey him without question or face punishment...
..
..
On the last day of the third month Shadow stands across from Shadow Wolf as the last sparring match is about to start.
Shadow is ready to fight. He is confident he will win the battle and destroy the demons.
"Let's begin!" A demon says.
They both charge at each other. Shadow moves fast and tries to strike the Wolf but the demon is faster than expected and his claws tear through Shadow's skin leaving deep wounds on his body.
Jumping back he fires a dark energy blast and it collides with one from Shadow Wolf as there is a large explosion.
His feet touch the ground and he dashes forward as the demon wolf fires several more times.
Weaving and dodging the attacks Shadow raises his hand and a wave of dark energy blasts forth.
Shadow Wolf tries to dodge it but the attack is to wide and as it makes contact it reacts doubling over on itself in a series of explosions as the wave of energy converges to a point. There's one final explosion and the dust clears.
Shadow Wolf is standing in front of Shadow with a smile on his face. Shadow looks at him in shock.
"You're quick, very quick. You have a lot of potential. The Demon Wolf King sighs. "Its been three months but you have finally regained a good portion of the power you have lost."
He says to then adds. " but be warned my King, Velzix has been absorbing souls and still has more power than you. However if you fight smart you can win."...
...
...
Three hours later
Shadow Seed and Shadow Wolf are walking through Purgatory near the Leviathan Pit when a very loud and angry voice calls out from inside.
"SHADOW! I SEE YOU THE WITH THE KING OF THE DEMON WOLVES." The voice of Lilly booms from behind the barrier. Shadow looks around as a few look his way.
Rushing over to the pit he looks up at her. "What is it Lilly?" He says to the Leviathan.
"I've been patient with you and Mihrab long enough and I want our deal to be complete. You have 3 days to start following through on the promise Mihrab made to me before I use that latent energy still inside you to pull you back into my void." She says angrily.
The Wolf king steps beside Shadow. " What deal is she talking about... They never make deals unless it benefits them in the long run, tread carefully my king and don't trust Lilly." Shadow wolf says as they walk away from the pit.
Shadow shakes his head. "What was the deal?" He wonders.
The Demon wolf looks at Shadow. "I give you this advice thinking of you as a friend... I was once a human and saw the world differently than demons. You sould know better than to think you are on top just because of your title as King. It is just a title anyone can steal away. Don't let your dark emotions or your past cloud your judgment. And if you Love Mihrab, don't ever give up on doing what's best for you both. Keep in mind tho that for a demon what seems right is wrong and what is right seems repulsive. Tho the two can get mixed as well..." Says Shadow Wolf.
Shadow Seed hugs the Wolf King. "Thank you for the help and advice. And I think of you as friend to." He says...
...
...
A few miles down the dirt path Shadow and Shadow wolf go their separate ways as darkness falls and Shadow continues on the trail to Velzix's castle.
Approaching the castle he sees that there are masses of demons lingering around.
He shifts to his demon wolf form and enters the grounds looking for the room Mihrab is kept in. The rumors of her unimaginable torture spreading terror thru Hell.
He sees the room but is unable to enter due to the mass of guards in front of the first door.
Shadow goes to another door that's unguarded and tries the handle finding it unlocked.
Pushing the door open there's a purple slimy substance coating the walls of the room completely forming a curtain of putrid goo in the opening door.
Rushing inside looking around Shadow finds the room empty aside from some entrails and organs.
Turning in frustration Shadow bumps into Velzix.
"Shadow, is that you, Its good to see you again after so long. Do you like what I've done with my Room of Eternal Suffering?" Velzix says motioning to the gooey purple walls and odd fixtures as the room undulates slightly.
Shadow steps back. "Where is Mihrab?" He asks Velzix.
"First tell me what you think of my new decor." Velzix says.
Shadow walks over to the wall of the room and examines the gooey substance. He looks at the odd collection of objects and then looks back to the wall. "I'm not sure. Its interesting. How did you get it to do that pulsating?" He says to Velzix.
Velzix smiles. "You see Shadow, the secret to my decor and wall paper is.." Velzix pauses.
He then snaps his fingers, the wall paper and fixtures move as one to the center of the room forming into a shaking and scared Mihrab.
Shadow is taken aback by this and looks at Velzix in confusion thinking this is a trick.
Velzix laughs. "In this room there is powerful magic, nothing can kill those inside." He bellows and snaps his fingers. Mihrab screams in agony as she is ripped apart and once again plastered over every inch of the 10 by 10 room. Her skull becoming a lampshade and her bones are the bed frame as her flesh and organs act as wallpaper and wall art.
Velzix ripps some of Mihrab's flesh from the wall and the rest shudders in more pain than it was already in. Shadow turns to Velzix. I challenge you for the throne and Mihrab." He says.
Velzix laughs. " I accept." He says.
Velzix reforms Mihrab and the fight moves outside to a massive courtyard lined by walls of fire.
As Shadow and Velzix clash the crowd roars.....
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.....
....

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* 75% ground beef $3.99 lb
* Bar-S weenies 12 oz 99 cents
* Early Dawn party wings 2.5 lbs, $4.99
* Vidalia onions 99 cents/lb
* Cool HWhip, $1.39 8 oz tub
* Reddi wip topping $2.49 7 oz can
* Philly cream cheese 8 oz, $2.49
* Tony's 12 oz $1.99
* Ro-tel 10 oz can 99 cents
* Dozen large eggs 99 cents
* Whole pineapple $1.99 each
​
Canseco's
* Blue plate Mayo 30 oz $2.99
* Ro-tel 10 oz can 99 cents
* Chicken leg quarters, 10 lb bag, 49 cents/lb
* Bar-S weenies 12 oz 99 cents
* Pork baby back ribs $1.99 lb
* Hormel no beans chili $1.79
* Bush's baked beans 2/$4.00
* Dozen large eggs 99 cents
* Cool HWhip, 2/$3.00
* Philly cream cheese 8 oz, $2.99
* Vidalia onions 99 cents/lb
* Whole pineapple $1.99 each
​
Robert Market
* Chicken leg quarters, 10 lb bag, 49 cents/lb
* Dozen large eggs 98 cents
* butter 16 oz salted or unsalted, $2.88 each
* Whole pineapple $1.99 each
* Vidalia onions 99 cents/lb
* Blue plate Mayo 30 oz $2.88
* Cool HWhip, $1.49 8 oz tub
​
Rouses
* 73% ground beef $2.47 lb
* Corn on the cob yellow of bi-color 4/$1.00
* Whole rib eye (cut free( $7.99 lb
* Boneless pork loin (half) $1.77 lb
* Bottled water, 24 pack .5 liter $2.97
* Sanderson farms whole chicken 99 cents/lb
* Boneless chuck roast $4.99
* Smithfield marinated pork loin or tenderloin $5.99 18-27 oz package
​
Winn-Dixie
(Yes, W-d has a S-ton of bogo's, but it's usually impossible to see the value when they list three items as Bogo with "save up to $x.99" without specific pricing. Frustrating.)
* Whole seedless watermelons $3.99 each
* 73% ground beef 1/4 lb patties, 2.5 lbs for $10.00
* Bacon - hickory sweet bacon 3 lb package $12.99
* Smithyfield sausage rolls, links, and/or patties, 3/$10.00 (mix & match)
* 80% ground chuck big-azz pack, $3.49 lb (Weekend sale 5/26 to 5/29 only)
* Pork loin baby back ribs or st louis style pork spare ribs - $2.99 lb (Weekend sale 5/26 to 5/29 only)
* T-bone steak value pack $5.99 lb
* Corn on the cob, yellow, white or bi-color, 4/$1.00 (Weekend sale 5/26 to 5/29 only)
* Bush's baked beans 28 oz $1.79 (Weekend sale 5/26 to 5/29 only)
​
Zuppardo's
* Ground chuck $3.99 lb
* 80/20 1/4-lb ground chuck burgers, 10 count for $12.99
* Pork baby back ribs $1.99 lb
* Country style pork ribs $1.69 lb
* Beef spare ribs $2.99 lb
* Chicken leg quarters, 10 lb bag, 49 cents/lb
* Bryan juicy jumbo weenies, 2/$3.00 15 oz packs
* Vidalia onions 99 cents/lb
* Whole pineapples, 2/$4.00

Previously on Hell’s Kitchen…
The chefs were tasked by making a Korean spin on their dishes. And while Claire scored a perfect 9 on her dish, the red team was far let down by Michelle, and it resulted in another loss for the red team. Then, a Cook For Your Life challenge came down to Ty and Ashley for the final safe spot, and Ty’s dish was far superior, sending Ashley out of the competition. And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…
Intro
Ty returned to the dorms and was given a big hug by the blue team as Natalie was surprised that Ashley was sent home. With Ashley gone, Dante realized they could no longer hide from mistakes. The blue team regrouped in the dining area as Caleb was stressed after competing in the Cook For Your Life challenge, but was confident, he could do the following challenge tomorrow. Meanwhile, Matt overlooked the amount of losses from the red team, and saw only two wins under his belt, and felt that he should go back to the blue team.
Challenge
The next day, both teams came downstairs to see four men in white tights, with Michelle comparing them to an opera class. The four men then performed an opera performance for the chefs, with Jeff amazed at their strength before claiming he could do that. After the performance, Ramsay revealed that they were the opera troupe called World Of Spice and Opera, and after they left, he explained that he used them as an example of the power of teamwork. For their next challenge, Ramsay revealed that they would be playing the Craps Challenge. As the Sous Chefs dragged the craps board into the dining room, Matt said he was a lucky person that people could feed off him. Ramsay explained that one person at a time would role a multi-sided dice to land on a letter. They must then quickly decide on an ingredient from that letter their team would cook with and added that one chef from each team would roll twice to gather six ingredients in total.
Coming down to the board, Michelle rolled first for the red team and landed on A. Michelle called out apples verts as the red team’s first ingredient, while Caleb had his team blow on the dice before he rolled. Caleb landed on C and picked coconut, while Matt rolled an H and called out hazelnuts. Larissa rolled R, and she chose rice. That bewildered Ramsay as he reminded Lauren that with a letter like R. Then, Claire rolled P, and after a long thought, she picked pork, relieving Ty to finally gain a protein. Afterwards, Natalie rolled an S and picked salmon, while Ty rolled a P. Ty picked parsnip, as the red team had yet to receive a vegetable, shocking Michelle as she hoped for potatoes. Jeff rolled a B and picked bacon, while Hope landed on C and picked couscous, and Dante landed on G before deciding garlic. Michelle went up again for the final roll, rolled a P, and picked pineapple, making Hope curious, of what she was going to do with two fruits and nuts. Lastly, Caleb went up again, landed on O and picked oranges.
Afterwards, both teams had 40 minutes to cook five of their own dishes using the ingredients they rolled on.
Scoring
After the chefs finish preparing their dishes, Chef Ramsay had an announcement to make to chefs, and that was to mention that he was only going to be tasting one dish from both teams. He had each team decide on who’s dish to bring up. The red team have agreed to bring up Hope’s dish, while the blue team agreed on Natalie. The blue team are up first with Natalie’s bacon wrapped salmon with a garlic sauce, coconut orange rice. Chef Ramsay loved the presentation, but felt that the coconut was too strong for the rice. Then, as he tasted Hope’s grilled pork, with an apple hazelnut chutney, couscous, and a pineapple parsnip purée. Chef Ramsay asked why Hope would use a pineapple parsnip purée, and Hope said that she liked a sweet and salty combo. However, Chef Ramsay didn’t see a sweet and salty combo of having the pineapple and parsnip mixed together, but the pork was cooked beautifully, and he liked the chutney with it. After a tough decision between a overly sweet dish and a strong dish , Chef Ramsay gave victory for the blue team yet again, as their dish was a bit more superior, exciting Caleb as he was ready to get out of Hell’s Kitchen again.
But after the blue team won, Chef Ramsay asked Michelle to bring up her dish, which is a hazelnut crusted pork with an apple-pineapple purée and parsnip couscous, and Chef Ramsay found that dish to be superior to Hope’s, and mentioned that they would’ve won.
Reward
Chef Ramsay had yet another thrilling reward for the blue team, and this time, the reward will take place in Nicaragua. It is a lot of fun First, they will be enjoying a day of volcano surfing, followed by zip lining through the woods. After all that, they will be feasting on a Nicaraguan bbq. Chef Ramsay told them that it was a well earned treat.
As the blue team head to the volcano for volcano surfing, Jeff said that he has never been volcano surfing, but he said it was kind of fun, while Natalie felt like an avalanche coming down the mountain. As they Ziplined in the mountains, Dante felt like it was a rollercoaster ride, while Caleb said it was something he would do again, and Larissa said that she would be queen of the Nicaraguan woods one day.
As the blue team sat down to eat, they discussed further plans for dinner service, and felt that they had to bring their A game. Natalie was hoping for a good service, and saw that without Ashley, they would have a chance to win again, while Caleb saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Punishment
As the blue team got to enjoying the perks of Nicaragua, the red team’s punishment was going to be less than a thrill. For their punishment, they will be polishing all the plates, cups, silver ware, and also ironing the chefs jackets and shirts. This irked Ty as it was going to be a long day, and felt that he wasn’t getting anywhere near the outside of the story. Michelle felt like the red team were all out at each other, and during the clean up, Claire asked her teammates a few questions on how she was supposed to iron the jackets, which Hope found annoying. Matt said that the red team could be stronger without Claire one day.
Before Service
The following day, the red team began prepping for Dinner Service as Michelle revealed she had a dream that a shark tried to eat her. The blue team returned from their reward and Hope begged her team to remind her to plate her sauce next time. Once everyone had their stations prepped, Ramsay asked Matthew to open Hell's Kitchen.
Dinner Service
The red team received their first order as Ty and Hope worked on their appetizers. Ty knew it was a new menu that night, and he did not want anything he made to be sent back. Sous Chef Meghan warned Ty not to let the crab cakes go cold. In the blue kitchen, Dante knew he had a lot to prove and wanted to kick some butt. Ramsay told Dante to add salt to his scampi, which did not impress Natalie as it was an easy dish. Hope said she and Ty managed to take care of service, and felt that Claire needed supervision. However, Ty’s crab cakes were bland, and he was forced to do a refire. Larissa and Dante accepted their appetizers in the blue kitchen, and blue diners enjoyed their dishes. In the blue kitchen, Ty’s second attempt was accepted, and both teams pushed out appetizers.
Twenty-five minutes into service, Ramsay checked on the blue team for the entrées. However, Natalie caused a fire to erupt on fish and got burned. Feeling she was being watched, Natalie tried to calm down and bounce back, only for Caleb to be late on garnish. Caleb blamed Natalie for being inconsistent in her communication, but the latter got her halibut accepted. With Dante serving his ribeye, Ramsay turned to Caleb for the garnish, but she managed to get them accepted. Ramsay called out the first entrée order in the red kitchen, and Matt felt nervous as any little mistake would spell bye. Claire tested the ribeyes for a temperature check and gave Matt the okay to walk his halibut, only for the latter to serve overcooked fish. Ramsay showed it to the red team and revealed that the ribeye was undercooked. In the blue kitchen, Natalie got caught up on orders. However, Natalie’s salmon was raw, and Dante’s ribeye was raw, frustrating Ramsay. In the red kitchen, Claire got her refire accepted, but Ramsay was waiting on Matt for the salmon. Matt got it accepted, and in the red kitchen, Natalie and Dante got their refires accepted.
Matt and Claire worked on the next order one hour into service, and the latter felt confident as she used a thermometer to check. When the entrées were sent up, Ramsay saw that Matt’s halibut was ice cold and dragged the red team into the back pantry room. Ramsay revealed that the halibut was undercooked and showed that the wellingtons were overcooked. Ramsay deemed it a joke and warned the red team to focus or leave. Ty told the team to listen as Claire felt herself drowning, comparing her situation to a party that was closing. Claire had Ty help her on the wellingtons, even though Hope felt the former should know what he was doing. Still, the refires were accepted, and both teams completed service.
Post-mortem
When both teams lined up, Ramsay said he did not expect a night like that and said the biggest problem both teams had was their inability to synchronize. Both teams were named joint losers, and Ramsay asked them to nominate two each.
During deliberation, Claire knew she would be a nominee as everyone on the red team agreed it was not their best service. Ty nominated Matt and Claire, which Hope and Michelle agreed with. However, Matt was not ready to go home and wanted to see another day in Hell's Kitchen. On the blue side, Dante admitted that the fish was a mess, while Caleb felt he struggled at garnish because it was his first night at the station, and Natalie’s chances blew it. While Dante admitted to his mistakes, Jeff nominated the former and Caleb. However, Caleb argued that he did not upset the team's flow that night, as Dante nominated the former and Natalie. Caleb nominated Dante and Natalie as the former, and Larissa accused the latter of not being vocal. Larissa felt that Natalie’s communication lacklustre angered Ramsay the most, but the latter felt that her night was fine other than the two bad halibuts.
Elimination
When both teams came downstairs, Ramsay called Dinner Service to be an embarrassment. Hope announced Claire as the red team's first nominee and Matt as the second, while Natalie announced Dante as the blue team's first nominee and herself as the second. During their pleas, Claire said that she wasn’t ready to go, and might have a few poor performances, but was intended to bounce back. Matt said that he was ready to cook his heart out, and felt that tonight was not his night to leave. Dante mentioned that he felt that he hasn’t given up. Natalie mentioned that she was not the weakest chef, but tonight was her weak night. Claire was eliminated for his poor performances in my services, and for her poor performance on meat. During her plea, Claire felt she stayed true to herself and said that her consecutive nominations got the better of her.
After Claire left, Ramsay warned the chefs that he would not hesitate to eliminate someone if they hung their heads down and did not communicate with him. While being dismissed, Dante felt the blue team was stronger with him and would bust his butt, while Matt felt his heart escape himself. Then, Natalie swore she would bring her voice out.
Ramsay’s Comment: ”After watching Claire struggle so badly in her last few services. I felt that I wouldn’t continue my dream with her”
18th: Camilo (Individual Challenge)
17th: Derek
16th: Josh
15th: Trish
14th: Rosemary
13th: Kristian
12th: Jamila
11th: Ashley (Cook For Your Life)
10th: Claire

18 hours for this 18 pounder. First cook on a pellet grill and it's up there with the best briskets I've ever made.
Beef bone broth injection and a simple rub of 3 parts kosher salt, 3 parts black pepper, 1 part sweet paprika.
Smoked at 225F on Bear Mountain Pecan until 165F. Wrapped in butter coated butcher paper and cooked with Pit Boss Competition Blend to 195F in thickest part and 198F in the middle.
The only downside is the app kept saying the grill was offline while the grill said it had a good connection to WiFi, and the router clearly showed the grill was connected. It really pissed me off and I felt like I was troubleshooting a printer rather than smoking a brisket. After seven hours the app suddenly worked perfectly.

Finding land was always the hardest part of owning a construction company. Every time I seemingly found the perfect lot, I’d always find something that fucked it all up. It was back to square one after that. All the useful lots were usually taken by some greedy whippersnapper farmers that were left a little nest egg. My small town was quickly growing, and adding new housing was critical. Furthermore, with the budget heading on a one way trip to oblivion, I needed to find good land to buy.
While I sucked down my eighty-seventh-and-a half coffee of the day in a caffeine filled rage, I noticed a FOR SALE CHEAP sign sticking out on the soil. Some old geezer sat right beside it with his rinky-dink rusty RV.
My workers and I hooted and hollered at our find from the cockpits of their excavators; our business would live another day. We’d finally managed to hit the jackpot.
Or, at least I thought I did.Instead of being eager or excited about selling the land, his eyes were bloodshot, his lower jaw permanently stuck out in a troglodyte fashion, and his outstretched hand was shaking and rattling like a leaf.
Getting out of my truck, I waltzed over to the old man. “How much for the land?” I said.
“Eighty bucks…” The old man croaked.
My eyes widened. This had to be some kind of dream. I shrugged at my workers. “Why is the price so low?”
The geezer pointed off towards the northwest. My eyes scanned a patch of…something.
Fissures and pits dug into a beige spot with some occasional splotches of purple. Its edges were smooth, blending in with the grass in patches like the contours on army camouflage pants. Its perimeter could not be determined, but it was at least 50 feet wide. The indentations held a soup of dirt and backwash, making the whole mass resemble a giant partially eaten saltine cracker.
Mother nature liked to use our town as her pissing ground, so flooding, rain and washed up junk wasn’t uncommon. But it didn’t explain how irregular the whole surface was. That didn’t matter, though; even if the land was crap, I still could make do.
“It looks like a boring patch of sandstone. That’s it? That’s what you are so worried about? You’ve got a deal!” I said to the seller. Exchanging money for the land, he limped off to his RV and proceeded to floor it.
I turned to my workers. All they did in response was exchange glances about the rock formation. I rested my finger under my chin.
Kneeling on the ground to investigate the patch, I tugged at the surface. A sheet of translucent material gummed up my gloves when I scratched the surface. Peeling off a piece, I held it up to the clear blue sky. Scratches marked its surface, leaving it chalky and brittle like talc.
Then, something caught my eye. Pink rings covered the pits right where the semisolid muck breached the surface. I crouched on all fours. Sandstone could come in multiple colors and unique layers, but the sides looked…
Raw, slippery, and unnaturally shiny.
“Bring a jackhammer,” I demanded. Someone came over, waddling with the heavy tool, plugging it in and activating the steel beast.
They shoved the drill bit into one of the pinkish borders. With a switch flick, it activated, burring into it. The worker grits their teeth, trying to steady it. The liquid in the pores splashed around in mini tsunamis. Suddenly, the ground shook underneath. There’s no way it could have come from the jackhammer; the activity was much too intense. I scratched my neck and stroked my beard.
It was nothing greater than a few small subterranean tremors. The thing was, earthquakes weren’t common around here. The town was in the middle of the Midwestern United States, completely away from any tectonic plates. When the activity ceased, the pink walls didn’t have any dents.
Adjusting my hard hat, I facepalmed. Sandstone would have crumbled with little effort.
“What kind of rock is this?” I thought. The situation was just a minor setback, though. More firepower was needed. It was time to blow something up.
“Get the M80’s…” I ordered.
One of the workers brought a bag filled with the bombs. They almost resembled stringy worms jutting out of explosive, deformed apples. I took out my cigarette lighter, picking out one of the M80s and throwing it into the middle of the pitting.
“Take cover!” I barked. We dove away from the ravine, bracing for it. Then, it blew up, sending the mixture of dirt and water skyrocketing to the sides and raining down in brown snowballs. Getting out of my huddle, I investigated the results. The ground rumbled once more, the tremors far more intense than before.
The dirt had jettisoned from the ravines and holes, but the surface itself still remained intact. I groaned. “Well, shit,” I muttered. Pacing around the parameter of the flesh-colored stone, I thought up a plan. The merged holes were large enough to fit some men inside, but they were too narrow to fit a scoop.
Then, one finally hatched.
“Bring out some slack lines! I want the area cleaned and dug up by the end of the day!”“Yes, sir!”
---
Ten men were sent into the pits, glowing bungee cords wrapped around their waists. Each were armed with massive drills and a large bucket. After a few hours of digging, the smell of rotting onions wafted deep within the pits. When I looked down inside, the topsoil was completely removed, replaced with nothing but a steaming, yellow-white chowder.
“Did I just uncover a sulfur pit?” I wondered. Though our town was known for mining, we’ve never uncovered any rocks like these. We were known for mining salt and coal, not sulfur. Of course, running into unwanted sedimentary rock was normal in a mining operation. When I took a closer look, my workers’ boots were sinking in…muck? So much for my conclusion about sulfur.
Tying a rope around my waist, I repelled down for an inspection. My boots squished the thick white tar, surrounding the sides of the wall. I stuck my hand into the concoction and gave it a sniff. Throwing it on the ground with a plop, I covered my nose in disgust.
“What the hell is that stuff?! Smells like burning sweat socks!” I exclaimed.
“Should we continue our work? Seems kind of sketchy. I mean, this doesn’t look like much of a rock formation to me,” a worker asked.
I gazed at the rim of my hardhat. “Ok, this obviously isn’t going to work out.” I glanced up at the hot sun. Raising a hand to my face, I try to make out if there were any other good sources of land. All around us for miles were hundreds of corn farms. Getting a permit to take the land a la eminent domain was out of the question. That law-based bullshit would take way too long. Even then, there was no way I could convince those other farmers to fork over some land. My company needed profits and fast. “Keep digging. I’ll be gone for an hour.”
As I got into my car, I requested a right hand man to keep watch while I traveled to the nearest hardware store. While I got back on the road, I caught another formation resembling the ravines and pits back at the main site. I squinted at the formation, surmising about what to do with that section. Maybe it was my chance to acquire even more land and possibly save the company?
---
By the time I got back, the holes had doubled in size. When I peered down into the pockets, all that showed up was a black void. The fluids inside had drained away, leaving only a crust of dirt and that same creamy slime on the sides. I tied one of the harnesses around me, attaching a cable from a winch to the front and attached a bright yellow flashlight to my hat. I jerked my head to the side, demanding that others follow.
“Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea…” A coworker says, holding up a finger.
“This is the last place we can afford. If we don’t get any profits, this company AND US ALL go under. I’m not doing this for just myself. I’m doing this all for every one of you! So get to work!” I snapped, pointing off to the other formation. “And while we descend, send another excavation team to that other rock formation way over yonder. Maybe that will help us find a way to get rid of this formation.”
Instantly, they all put on their harnesses and activated their lights. I position myself over the edge of a hole, just big enough for me and one other to enter. With a thumbs up, the winches unwound. As I pressed my boots against the unknown rock wall, tremors resonated through the chambers once again.
Our lanterns pierced through the darkness, but still weren’t able to reach the bottom of the pits. After a few minutes of descending, a greasy substance started to coat the walls. I began sweating from the heat and moisture rising from the pit below.
Slowly, every one of us falls into the pits, scanning the surrounding area. One of the coworkers shone a light on the surface directly above us. Growths resembling oversized tongues glistened with dripping unidentifiable substances. Looking up, the ceiling glistened a fleshy pink color. Masses of semisolid substances gathered into lukewarm, gray pearls that stuck out and hung, similarly to disco balls at nightclubs.
Then, I put everything together. The clear sheets of rock on the surface, the strange white liquids that filled the cavities, and the pink insides.
These were giant blackheads in the ground. What else could it have been? The liquid was pus, the sheets were dead skin, and the pink insides were pores. I gaze up at the hole above, hyperventilating. If I wanted to get rid of these, I needed to find the source and destroy it from within. Only then would the land be saved.
Off in the distance towards the north, I could make out the opening of some kind of cave. Pockmarks of light shone through newly excavated holes. My walkie talkie vibrated.
“You are not going to believe this, but I think these aren’t rock formations. They’re blackheads.” I said.
“Excuse me?” The person on the other line paused. “Now that I think of it, it sort of makes sense. I knew something was up with the formations and all the crusty stuff. There’s no way in hell that this formation is just boring old rock. Should I explore the surrounding area?” The voice on the other line replied.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” I responded. “Lower down some M80’s!” I shouted to the ceiling. While I waited for the explosives, I signaled for the groups above to lower us deeper into the chasm. My walkie talkie vibrates again.
“We seem to be on some kind of spongy surface. It’s more moist than a shower loofa. What about you?”
“Hang on a second, we’re all lowering down.” I signal for the winches above to unwind slowly. Warm air blows on my back, coating it in a cape of stench. The lower we descended, the more concentrated it grew.
“We should have brought gas masks; the smell is nauseating down here! Tell me what exactly do you see?” I say. Before I knew it, a bucket of M80’s was dropped down on another line.
“Well the surface is mostly flat and the whole area is incredibly pink. When do you think we should use the explosives?”
“Not until we find the source of the trouble. Anything towards the mouth of the cave?”
I could hear rhythmic squelches and plops. “Outside from some dripping stalactites and stalagmites, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.”
Then, my back started to tingle. Oxygen was replaced entirely by the festering, infectious smell. It tore at my nostrils. I wretched, casting my head aside in case if I needed to spill my guts.
*Hisssssssssss…*Something was brewing deep below my feet. Droplets of an unknown substance burst in a manner similar to popcorn, bouncing in the heat. Looking all around the shimmering, mucous void, suspicion ate at me like wasp larvae in a caterpillar.
When the realization hit, my stomach dropped.
“STOP!” I shouted. Everyone’s line stopped in a blink. They chattered amongst themselves, wondering what the commotion was all about. From the quietness of the antechamber, I could hear bubbling and churning fluids. They were no more than a meter away. When I pointed the light downwards, I couldn’t find a bottom to the mysterious hot spring. The surface just shimmered a sickly bile yellow. I turned to my other workers. Their heads began to wobble slightly. My vision warped and melted while my eyes grew heavier than sixteen ton weights.
“Look out below!” A worker hollered from the top of the ravines. Everyone came to an abrupt stop. A hammer fell from above, plummeting directly towards me. It shined in our torches. It landed right into the fluids with a fierce hiss. White foam grew from the bubbling pit. When I stuck my hand in the fluid, it corroded and burned my skin. Acid.
I hoisted myself up before dizziness could consume me.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. “Hang on a second, I’m picking up something. Let me investigate.”
Was that a heartbeat? “Wait a minute. I don’t think those are stalactites.” The pink spongy surface, the dead skin, the blackheads, the vat of acid, the heartbeat. This wasn’t a cave. The whole stinkin’ thing was an animal. And we were in its stomach.
My blood froze. I could make out someone faintly lighting something. Looking down at the acid pit and source of the mysterious noise.
I gasp. “DON’T LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!”
“Is something wrong, boss?” A coworker replies on the other line.
Suddenly, the cavern mouth snapped shut. A roar bellowed throughout the entire cavern, a horrid mix between an extraterrestrial shriek and someone’s throat being slit. I shielded my ears from the cacophony.
Off in the distance, the ground rose and sloped, plunging my men all towards the acid. If it wasn’t for the winch lines, they all would have been dissolved into bones. Screaming echoes as everyone frantically wound themselves up.
“WIND US BACK UP, NOW!” I ordered. My vision goes slurry in seconds. I could barely make out my coworkers as they rose up to the surface. Blurry flesh lines began to surround me. They grew larger and wider by each passing second. Another bellow rocked my eardrums. I struggled to snap myself out of my lethargy and gripped onto the lines, desperately pulling myself away from the gas and towards any area with oxygen. My line hoists me far enough from the gas for me to breathe.
Just like that, my vision cleared up. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the mysterious shapes were. Shining my light on one of them, stomach walls began to converge in thick curtains directly towards me. They scooted along the bottom of the lining, rumbling. Fluids below churn like a violent storm. The resonating bellows ripple against the converging walls.
“KEEP WINDING!” I yelled until I swore my throat would bleed. I looked all around me. Everyone else had ascended up the blackhead holes in time. I forced myself up the cords even higher, hoping I would be able to dodge the structures closing in.
Scanning around, that same rotten smell started to rise once again. Slowly, it grew more and more noxious. I was being wound back up, so I wondered how this could be happening.
I lowered my head; the acid was rising.
“WINCH FASTER!” I hollered above. Throwing my jack hammer away and getting rid of the extra weight, the winch increases in speed.
Then, with a clank, the whole hoisting mechanism stops. My heart skips a beat. “What are you doing?! Pull me out!”
“The winch is stuck!”
Everywhere around me, the walls continued converging. Four corners of the walls were at least 30 meters away and gaining. Their glistening sides made me hyperventilate in fear.
“Don’t just stand there! Pull me out!” I scanned all around, hoisting myself up even further. Before I knew it, the flesh walls were only 20 meters away. Up above the whole, everyone on the surface began to pull. I grip on to the line, holding for dear life. I let go only for a moment to throw a few M80s. They blossom into an orange explosion in seconds, stopping the walls and making the beast howl in rage.
With that small window of opportunity, the rest of the workers yanked me out. In an instant, we all hightailed it out of the area, away from the pissed off behemoth.
---
When word got out that thing existed, everyone quickly abandoned our town, migrating elsewhere. My construction company nearly vanished along with the rest of the town. Thankfully, my loyal workers were able to stick along with me thanks to a lovely invention called a bank loan. Eventually, I settled down in a nice urban city where I am writing this now.
In retrospect, rural living isn’t such a good idea. With all that open space, no one can ever know what’s underneath the soil. That is, until they see the blackheads. And that beast was only in hibernation.
I can only imagine what would happen if it was active.

Finding land was always the hardest part of owning a construction company. Every time I seemingly found the perfect lot, I’d always find something that fucked it all up. It was back to square one after that. All the useful lots were usually taken by some greedy whippersnapper farmers that were left a little nest egg. My small town was quickly growing, and adding new housing was critical. Furthermore, with the budget heading on a one way trip to oblivion, I needed to find good land to buy.
While I sucked down my eighty-seventh-and-a half coffee of the day in a caffeine filled rage, I noticed a FOR SALE CHEAP sign sticking out on the soil. Some old geezer sat right beside it with his rinky-dink rusty RV.
My workers and I hooted and hollered at our find from the cockpits of their excavators; our business would live another day. We’d finally managed to hit the jackpot.
Or, at least I thought I did.Instead of being eager or excited about selling the land, his eyes were bloodshot, his lower jaw permanently stuck out in a troglodyte fashion, and his outstretched hand was shaking and rattling like a leaf.
Getting out of my truck, I waltzed over to the old man. “How much for the land?” I said.
“Eighty bucks…” The old man croaked.
My eyes widened. This had to be some kind of dream. I shrugged at my workers. “Why is the price so low?”
The geezer pointed off towards the northwest. My eyes scanned a patch of…something.
Fissures and pits dug into a beige spot with some occasional splotches of purple. Its edges were smooth, blending in with the grass in patches like the contours on army camouflage pants. Its perimeter could not be determined, but it was at least 50 feet wide. The indentations held a soup of dirt and backwash, making the whole mass resemble a giant partially eaten saltine cracker.
Mother nature liked to use our town as her pissing ground, so flooding, rain and washed up junk wasn’t uncommon. But it didn’t explain how irregular the whole surface was. That didn’t matter, though; even if the land was crap, I still could make do.
“It looks like a boring patch of sandstone. That’s it? That’s what you are so worried about? You’ve got a deal!” I said to the seller. Exchanging money for the land, he limped off to his RV and proceeded to floor it.
I turned to my workers. All they did in response was exchange glances about the rock formation. I rested my finger under my chin.
Kneeling on the ground to investigate the patch, I tugged at the surface. A sheet of translucent material gummed up my gloves when I scratched the surface. Peeling off a piece, I held it up to the clear blue sky. Scratches marked its surface, leaving it chalky and brittle like talc.
Then, something caught my eye. Pink rings covered the pits right where the semisolid muck breached the surface. I crouched on all fours. Sandstone could come in multiple colors and unique layers, but the sides looked…
Raw, slippery, and unnaturally shiny.
“Bring a jackhammer,” I demanded. Someone came over, waddling with the heavy tool, plugging it in and activating the steel beast.
They shoved the drill bit into one of the pinkish borders. With a switch flick, it activated, burring into it. The worker grits their teeth, trying to steady it. The liquid in the pores splashed around in mini tsunamis. Suddenly, the ground shook underneath. There’s no way it could have come from the jackhammer; the activity was much too intense. I scratched my neck and stroked my beard.
It was nothing greater than a few small subterranean tremors. The thing was, earthquakes weren’t common around here. The town was in the middle of the Midwestern United States, completely away from any tectonic plates. When the activity ceased, the pink walls didn’t have any dents.
Adjusting my hard hat, I facepalmed. Sandstone would have crumbled with little effort.
“What kind of rock is this?” I thought. The situation was just a minor setback, though. More firepower was needed. It was time to blow something up.
“Get the M80’s…” I ordered.
One of the workers brought a bag filled with the bombs. They almost resembled stringy worms jutting out of explosive, deformed apples. I took out my cigarette lighter, picking out one of the M80s and throwing it into the middle of the pitting.
“Take cover!” I barked. We dove away from the ravine, bracing for it. Then, it blew up, sending the mixture of dirt and water skyrocketing to the sides and raining down in brown snowballs. Getting out of my huddle, I investigated the results. The ground rumbled once more, the tremors far more intense than before.
The dirt had jettisoned from the ravines and holes, but the surface itself still remained intact. I groaned. “Well, shit,” I muttered. Pacing around the parameter of the flesh-colored stone, I thought up a plan. The merged holes were large enough to fit some men inside, but they were too narrow to fit a scoop.
Then, one finally hatched.
“Bring out some slack lines! I want the area cleaned and dug up by the end of the day!”“Yes, sir!”
---
Ten men were sent into the pits, glowing bungee cords wrapped around their waists. Each were armed with massive drills and a large bucket. After a few hours of digging, the smell of rotting onions wafted deep within the pits. When I looked down inside, the topsoil was completely removed, replaced with nothing but a steaming, yellow-white chowder.
“Did I just uncover a sulfur pit?” I wondered. Though our town was known for mining, we’ve never uncovered any rocks like these. We were known for mining salt and coal, not sulfur. Of course, running into unwanted sedimentary rock was normal in a mining operation. When I took a closer look, my workers’ boots were sinking in…muck? So much for my conclusion about sulfur.
Tying a rope around my waist, I repelled down for an inspection. My boots squished the thick white tar, surrounding the sides of the wall. I stuck my hand into the concoction and gave it a sniff. Throwing it on the ground with a plop, I covered my nose in disgust.
“What the hell is that stuff?! Smells like burning sweat socks!” I exclaimed.
“Should we continue our work? Seems kind of sketchy. I mean, this doesn’t look like much of a rock formation to me,” a worker asked.
I gazed at the rim of my hardhat. “Ok, this obviously isn’t going to work out.” I glanced up at the hot sun. Raising a hand to my face, I try to make out if there were any other good sources of land. All around us for miles were hundreds of corn farms. Getting a permit to take the land a la eminent domain was out of the question. That law-based bullshit would take way too long. Even then, there was no way I could convince those other farmers to fork over some land. My company needed profits and fast. “Keep digging. I’ll be gone for an hour.”
As I got into my car, I requested a right hand man to keep watch while I traveled to the nearest hardware store. While I got back on the road, I caught another formation resembling the ravines and pits back at the main site. I squinted at the formation, surmising about what to do with that section. Maybe it was my chance to acquire even more land and possibly save the company?
---
By the time I got back, the holes had doubled in size. When I peered down into the pockets, all that showed up was a black void. The fluids inside had drained away, leaving only a crust of dirt and that same creamy slime on the sides. I tied one of the harnesses around me, attaching a cable from a winch to the front and attached a bright yellow flashlight to my hat. I jerked my head to the side, demanding that others follow.
“Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea…” A coworker says, holding up a finger.
“This is the last place we can afford. If we don’t get any profits, this company AND US ALL go under. I’m not doing this for just myself. I’m doing this all for every one of you! So get to work!” I snapped, pointing off to the other formation. “And while we descend, send another excavation team to that other rock formation way over yonder. Maybe that will help us find a way to get rid of this formation.”
Instantly, they all put on their harnesses and activated their lights. I position myself over the edge of a hole, just big enough for me and one other to enter. With a thumbs up, the winches unwound. As I pressed my boots against the unknown rock wall, tremors resonated through the chambers once again.
Our lanterns pierced through the darkness, but still weren’t able to reach the bottom of the pits. After a few minutes of descending, a greasy substance started to coat the walls. I began sweating from the heat and moisture rising from the pit below.
Slowly, every one of us falls into the pits, scanning the surrounding area. One of the coworkers shone a light on the surface directly above us. Growths resembling oversized tongues glistened with dripping unidentifiable substances. Looking up, the ceiling glistened a fleshy pink color. Masses of semisolid substances gathered into lukewarm, gray pearls that stuck out and hung, similarly to disco balls at nightclubs.
Then, I put everything together. The clear sheets of rock on the surface, the strange white liquids that filled the cavities, and the pink insides.
These were giant blackheads in the ground. What else could it have been? The liquid was pus, the sheets were dead skin, and the pink insides were pores. I gaze up at the hole above, hyperventilating. If I wanted to get rid of these, I needed to find the source and destroy it from within. Only then would the land be saved.
Off in the distance towards the north, I could make out the opening of some kind of cave. Pockmarks of light shone through newly excavated holes. My walkie talkie vibrated.
“You are not going to believe this, but I think these aren’t rock formations. They’re blackheads.” I said.
“Excuse me?” The person on the other line paused. “Now that I think of it, it sort of makes sense. I knew something was up with the formations and all the crusty stuff. There’s no way in hell that this formation is just boring old rock. Should I explore the surrounding area?” The voice on the other line replied.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” I responded. “Lower down some M80’s!” I shouted to the ceiling. While I waited for the explosives, I signaled for the groups above to lower us deeper into the chasm. My walkie talkie vibrates again.
“We seem to be on some kind of spongy surface. It’s more moist than a shower loofa. What about you?”
“Hang on a second, we’re all lowering down.” I signal for the winches above to unwind slowly. Warm air blows on my back, coating it in a cape of stench. The lower we descended, the more concentrated it grew.
“We should have brought gas masks; the smell is nauseating down here! Tell me what exactly do you see?” I say. Before I knew it, a bucket of M80’s was dropped down on another line.
“Well the surface is mostly flat and the whole area is incredibly pink. When do you think we should use the explosives?”
“Not until we find the source of the trouble. Anything towards the mouth of the cave?”
I could hear rhythmic squelches and plops. “Outside from some dripping stalactites and stalagmites, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.”
Then, my back started to tingle. Oxygen was replaced entirely by the festering, infectious smell. It tore at my nostrils. I wretched, casting my head aside in case if I needed to spill my guts.
*Hisssssssssss…*Something was brewing deep below my feet. Droplets of an unknown substance burst in a manner similar to popcorn, bouncing in the heat. Looking all around the shimmering, mucous void, suspicion ate at me like wasp larvae in a caterpillar.
When the realization hit, my stomach dropped.
“STOP!” I shouted. Everyone’s line stopped in a blink. They chattered amongst themselves, wondering what the commotion was all about. From the quietness of the antechamber, I could hear bubbling and churning fluids. They were no more than a meter away. When I pointed the light downwards, I couldn’t find a bottom to the mysterious hot spring. The surface just shimmered a sickly bile yellow. I turned to my other workers. Their heads began to wobble slightly. My vision warped and melted while my eyes grew heavier than sixteen ton weights.
“Look out below!” A worker hollered from the top of the ravines. Everyone came to an abrupt stop. A hammer fell from above, plummeting directly towards me. It shined in our torches. It landed right into the fluids with a fierce hiss. White foam grew from the bubbling pit. When I stuck my hand in the fluid, it corroded and burned my skin. Acid.
I hoisted myself up before dizziness could consume me.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. “Hang on a second, I’m picking up something. Let me investigate.”
Was that a heartbeat? “Wait a minute. I don’t think those are stalactites.” The pink spongy surface, the dead skin, the blackheads, the vat of acid, the heartbeat. This wasn’t a cave. The whole stinkin’ thing was an animal. And we were in its stomach.
My blood froze. I could make out someone faintly lighting something. Looking down at the acid pit and source of the mysterious noise.
I gasp. “DON’T LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!”
“Is something wrong, boss?” A coworker replies on the other line.
Suddenly, the cavern mouth snapped shut. A roar bellowed throughout the entire cavern, a horrid mix between an extraterrestrial shriek and someone’s throat being slit. I shielded my ears from the cacophony.
Off in the distance, the ground rose and sloped, plunging my men all towards the acid. If it wasn’t for the winch lines, they all would have been dissolved into bones. Screaming echoes as everyone frantically wound themselves up.
“WIND US BACK UP, NOW!” I ordered. My vision goes slurry in seconds. I could barely make out my coworkers as they rose up to the surface. Blurry flesh lines began to surround me. They grew larger and wider by each passing second. Another bellow rocked my eardrums. I struggled to snap myself out of my lethargy and gripped onto the lines, desperately pulling myself away from the gas and towards any area with oxygen. My line hoists me far enough from the gas for me to breathe.
Just like that, my vision cleared up. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the mysterious shapes were. Shining my light on one of them, stomach walls began to converge in thick curtains directly towards me. They scooted along the bottom of the lining, rumbling. Fluids below churn like a violent storm. The resonating bellows ripple against the converging walls.
“KEEP WINDING!” I yelled until I swore my throat would bleed. I looked all around me. Everyone else had ascended up the blackhead holes in time. I forced myself up the cords even higher, hoping I would be able to dodge the structures closing in.
Scanning around, that same rotten smell started to rise once again. Slowly, it grew more and more noxious. I was being wound back up, so I wondered how this could be happening.
I lowered my head; the acid was rising.
“WINCH FASTER!” I hollered above. Throwing my jack hammer away and getting rid of the extra weight, the winch increases in speed.
Then, with a clank, the whole hoisting mechanism stops. My heart skips a beat. “What are you doing?! Pull me out!”
“The winch is stuck!”
Everywhere around me, the walls continued converging. Four corners of the walls were at least 30 meters away and gaining. Their glistening sides made me hyperventilate in fear.
“Don’t just stand there! Pull me out!” I scanned all around, hoisting myself up even further. Before I knew it, the flesh walls were only 20 meters away. Up above the whole, everyone on the surface began to pull. I grip on to the line, holding for dear life. I let go only for a moment to throw a few M80s. They blossom into an orange explosion in seconds, stopping the walls and making the beast howl in rage.
With that small window of opportunity, the rest of the workers yanked me out. In an instant, we all hightailed it out of the area, away from the pissed off behemoth.
---
When word got out that thing existed, everyone quickly abandoned our town, migrating elsewhere. My construction company nearly vanished along with the rest of the town. Thankfully, my loyal workers were able to stick along with me thanks to a lovely invention called a bank loan. Eventually, I settled down in a nice urban city where I am writing this now.
In retrospect, rural living isn’t such a good idea. With all that open space, no one can ever know what’s underneath the soil. That is, until they see the blackheads. And that beast was only in hibernation.
I can only imagine what would happen if it was active.

Finding land was always the hardest part of owning a construction company. Every time I seemingly found the perfect lot, I’d always find something that fucked it all up. It was back to square one after that. All the useful lots were usually taken by some greedy whippersnapper farmers that were left a little nest egg. My small town was quickly growing, and adding new housing was critical. Furthermore, with the budget heading on a one way trip to oblivion, I needed to find good land to buy.
While I sucked down my eighty-seventh-and-a half coffee of the day in a caffeine filled rage, I noticed a FOR SALE CHEAP sign sticking out on the soil. Some old geezer sat right beside it with his rinky-dink rusty RV.
My workers and I hooted and hollered at our find from the cockpits of their excavators; our business would live another day. We’d finally managed to hit the jackpot.
Or, at least I thought I did.Instead of being eager or excited about selling the land, his eyes were bloodshot, his lower jaw permanently stuck out in a troglodyte fashion, and his outstretched hand was shaking and rattling like a leaf.
Getting out of my truck, I waltzed over to the old man. “How much for the land?” I said.
“Eighty bucks…” The old man croaked.
My eyes widened. This had to be some kind of dream. I shrugged at my workers. “Why is the price so low?”
The geezer pointed off towards the northwest. My eyes scanned a patch of…something.
Fissures and pits dug into a beige spot with some occasional splotches of purple. Its edges were smooth, blending in with the grass in patches like the contours on army camouflage pants. Its perimeter could not be determined, but it was at least 50 feet wide. The indentations held a soup of dirt and backwash, making the whole mass resemble a giant partially eaten saltine cracker.
Mother nature liked to use our town as her pissing ground, so flooding, rain and washed up junk wasn’t uncommon. But it didn’t explain how irregular the whole surface was. That didn’t matter, though; even if the land was crap, I still could make do.
“It looks like a boring patch of sandstone. That’s it? That’s what you are so worried about? You’ve got a deal!” I said to the seller. Exchanging money for the land, he limped off to his RV and proceeded to floor it.
I turned to my workers. All they did in response was exchange glances about the rock formation. I rested my finger under my chin.
Kneeling on the ground to investigate the patch, I tugged at the surface. A sheet of translucent material gummed up my gloves when I scratched the surface. Peeling off a piece, I held it up to the clear blue sky. Scratches marked its surface, leaving it chalky and brittle like talc.
Then, something caught my eye. Pink rings covered the pits right where the semisolid muck breached the surface. I crouched on all fours. Sandstone could come in multiple colors and unique layers, but the sides looked…
Raw, slippery, and unnaturally shiny.
“Bring a jackhammer,” I demanded. Someone came over, waddling with the heavy tool, plugging it in and activating the steel beast.
They shoved the drill bit into one of the pinkish borders. With a switch flick, it activated, burring into it. The worker grits their teeth, trying to steady it. The liquid in the pores splashed around in mini tsunamis. Suddenly, the ground shook underneath. There’s no way it could have come from the jackhammer; the activity was much too intense. I scratched my neck and stroked my beard.
It was nothing greater than a few small subterranean tremors. The thing was, earthquakes weren’t common around here. The town was in the middle of the Midwestern United States, completely away from any tectonic plates. When the activity ceased, the pink walls didn’t have any dents.
Adjusting my hard hat, I facepalmed. Sandstone would have crumbled with little effort.
“What kind of rock is this?” I thought. The situation was just a minor setback, though. More firepower was needed. It was time to blow something up.
“Get the M80’s…” I ordered.
One of the workers brought a bag filled with the bombs. They almost resembled stringy worms jutting out of explosive, deformed apples. I took out my cigarette lighter, picking out one of the M80s and throwing it into the middle of the pitting.
“Take cover!” I barked. We dove away from the ravine, bracing for it. Then, it blew up, sending the mixture of dirt and water skyrocketing to the sides and raining down in brown snowballs. Getting out of my huddle, I investigated the results. The ground rumbled once more, the tremors far more intense than before.
The dirt had jettisoned from the ravines and holes, but the surface itself still remained intact. I groaned. “Well, shit,” I muttered. Pacing around the parameter of the flesh-colored stone, I thought up a plan. The merged holes were large enough to fit some men inside, but they were too narrow to fit a scoop.
Then, one finally hatched.
“Bring out some slack lines! I want the area cleaned and dug up by the end of the day!”“Yes, sir!”
---
Ten men were sent into the pits, glowing bungee cords wrapped around their waists. Each were armed with massive drills and a large bucket. After a few hours of digging, the smell of rotting onions wafted deep within the pits. When I looked down inside, the topsoil was completely removed, replaced with nothing but a steaming, yellow-white chowder.
“Did I just uncover a sulfur pit?” I wondered. Though our town was known for mining, we’ve never uncovered any rocks like these. We were known for mining salt and coal, not sulfur. Of course, running into unwanted sedimentary rock was normal in a mining operation. When I took a closer look, my workers’ boots were sinking in…muck? So much for my conclusion about sulfur.
Tying a rope around my waist, I repelled down for an inspection. My boots squished the thick white tar, surrounding the sides of the wall. I stuck my hand into the concoction and gave it a sniff. Throwing it on the ground with a plop, I covered my nose in disgust.
“What the hell is that stuff?! Smells like burning sweat socks!” I exclaimed.
“Should we continue our work? Seems kind of sketchy. I mean, this doesn’t look like much of a rock formation to me,” a worker asked.
I gazed at the rim of my hardhat. “Ok, this obviously isn’t going to work out.” I glanced up at the hot sun. Raising a hand to my face, I try to make out if there were any other good sources of land. All around us for miles were hundreds of corn farms. Getting a permit to take the land a la eminent domain was out of the question. That law-based bullshit would take way too long. Even then, there was no way I could convince those other farmers to fork over some land. My company needed profits and fast. “Keep digging. I’ll be gone for an hour.”
As I got into my car, I requested a right hand man to keep watch while I traveled to the nearest hardware store. While I got back on the road, I caught another formation resembling the ravines and pits back at the main site. I squinted at the formation, surmising about what to do with that section. Maybe it was my chance to acquire even more land and possibly save the company?
---
By the time I got back, the holes had doubled in size. When I peered down into the pockets, all that showed up was a black void. The fluids inside had drained away, leaving only a crust of dirt and that same creamy slime on the sides. I tied one of the harnesses around me, attaching a cable from a winch to the front and attached a bright yellow flashlight to my hat. I jerked my head to the side, demanding that others follow.
“Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea…” A coworker says, holding up a finger.
“This is the last place we can afford. If we don’t get any profits, this company AND US ALL go under. I’m not doing this for just myself. I’m doing this all for every one of you! So get to work!” I snapped, pointing off to the other formation. “And while we descend, send another excavation team to that other rock formation way over yonder. Maybe that will help us find a way to get rid of this formation.”
Instantly, they all put on their harnesses and activated their lights. I position myself over the edge of a hole, just big enough for me and one other to enter. With a thumbs up, the winches unwound. As I pressed my boots against the unknown rock wall, tremors resonated through the chambers once again.
Our lanterns pierced through the darkness, but still weren’t able to reach the bottom of the pits. After a few minutes of descending, a greasy substance started to coat the walls. I began sweating from the heat and moisture rising from the pit below.
Slowly, every one of us falls into the pits, scanning the surrounding area. One of the coworkers shone a light on the surface directly above us. Growths resembling oversized tongues glistened with dripping unidentifiable substances. Looking up, the ceiling glistened a fleshy pink color. Masses of semisolid substances gathered into lukewarm, gray pearls that stuck out and hung, similarly to disco balls at nightclubs.
Then, I put everything together. The clear sheets of rock on the surface, the strange white liquids that filled the cavities, and the pink insides.
These were giant blackheads in the ground. What else could it have been? The liquid was pus, the sheets were dead skin, and the pink insides were pores. I gaze up at the hole above, hyperventilating. If I wanted to get rid of these, I needed to find the source and destroy it from within. Only then would the land be saved.
Off in the distance towards the north, I could make out the opening of some kind of cave. Pockmarks of light shone through newly excavated holes. My walkie talkie vibrated.
“You are not going to believe this, but I think these aren’t rock formations. They’re blackheads.” I said.
“Excuse me?” The person on the other line paused. “Now that I think of it, it sort of makes sense. I knew something was up with the formations and all the crusty stuff. There’s no way in hell that this formation is just boring old rock. Should I explore the surrounding area?” The voice on the other line replied.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” I responded. “Lower down some M80’s!” I shouted to the ceiling. While I waited for the explosives, I signaled for the groups above to lower us deeper into the chasm. My walkie talkie vibrates again.
“We seem to be on some kind of spongy surface. It’s more moist than a shower loofa. What about you?”
“Hang on a second, we’re all lowering down.” I signal for the winches above to unwind slowly. Warm air blows on my back, coating it in a cape of stench. The lower we descended, the more concentrated it grew.
“We should have brought gas masks; the smell is nauseating down here! Tell me what exactly do you see?” I say. Before I knew it, a bucket of M80’s was dropped down on another line.
“Well the surface is mostly flat and the whole area is incredibly pink. When do you think we should use the explosives?”
“Not until we find the source of the trouble. Anything towards the mouth of the cave?”
I could hear rhythmic squelches and plops. “Outside from some dripping stalactites and stalagmites, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.”
Then, my back started to tingle. Oxygen was replaced entirely by the festering, infectious smell. It tore at my nostrils. I wretched, casting my head aside in case if I needed to spill my guts.
*Hisssssssssss…*Something was brewing deep below my feet. Droplets of an unknown substance burst in a manner similar to popcorn, bouncing in the heat. Looking all around the shimmering, mucous void, suspicion ate at me like wasp larvae in a caterpillar.
When the realization hit, my stomach dropped.
“STOP!” I shouted. Everyone’s line stopped in a blink. They chattered amongst themselves, wondering what the commotion was all about. From the quietness of the antechamber, I could hear bubbling and churning fluids. They were no more than a meter away. When I pointed the light downwards, I couldn’t find a bottom to the mysterious hot spring. The surface just shimmered a sickly bile yellow. I turned to my other workers. Their heads began to wobble slightly. My vision warped and melted while my eyes grew heavier than sixteen ton weights.
“Look out below!” A worker hollered from the top of the ravines. Everyone came to an abrupt stop. A hammer fell from above, plummeting directly towards me. It shined in our torches. It landed right into the fluids with a fierce hiss. White foam grew from the bubbling pit. When I stuck my hand in the fluid, it corroded and burned my skin. Acid.
I hoisted myself up before dizziness could consume me.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. “Hang on a second, I’m picking up something. Let me investigate.”
Was that a heartbeat? “Wait a minute. I don’t think those are stalactites.” The pink spongy surface, the dead skin, the blackheads, the vat of acid, the heartbeat. This wasn’t a cave. The whole stinkin’ thing was an animal. And we were in its stomach.
My blood froze. I could make out someone faintly lighting something. Looking down at the acid pit and source of the mysterious noise.
I gasp. “DON’T LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!”
“Is something wrong, boss?” A coworker replies on the other line.
Suddenly, the cavern mouth snapped shut. A roar bellowed throughout the entire cavern, a horrid mix between an extraterrestrial shriek and someone’s throat being slit. I shielded my ears from the cacophony.
Off in the distance, the ground rose and sloped, plunging my men all towards the acid. If it wasn’t for the winch lines, they all would have been dissolved into bones. Screaming echoes as everyone frantically wound themselves up.
“WIND US BACK UP, NOW!” I ordered. My vision goes slurry in seconds. I could barely make out my coworkers as they rose up to the surface. Blurry flesh lines began to surround me. They grew larger and wider by each passing second. Another bellow rocked my eardrums. I struggled to snap myself out of my lethargy and gripped onto the lines, desperately pulling myself away from the gas and towards any area with oxygen. My line hoists me far enough from the gas for me to breathe.
Just like that, my vision cleared up. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the mysterious shapes were. Shining my light on one of them, stomach walls began to converge in thick curtains directly towards me. They scooted along the bottom of the lining, rumbling. Fluids below churn like a violent storm. The resonating bellows ripple against the converging walls.
“KEEP WINDING!” I yelled until I swore my throat would bleed. I looked all around me. Everyone else had ascended up the blackhead holes in time. I forced myself up the cords even higher, hoping I would be able to dodge the structures closing in.
Scanning around, that same rotten smell started to rise once again. Slowly, it grew more and more noxious. I was being wound back up, so I wondered how this could be happening.
I lowered my head; the acid was rising.
“WINCH FASTER!” I hollered above. Throwing my jack hammer away and getting rid of the extra weight, the winch increases in speed.
Then, with a clank, the whole hoisting mechanism stops. My heart skips a beat. “What are you doing?! Pull me out!”
“The winch is stuck!”
Everywhere around me, the walls continued converging. Four corners of the walls were at least 30 meters away and gaining. Their glistening sides made me hyperventilate in fear.
“Don’t just stand there! Pull me out!” I scanned all around, hoisting myself up even further. Before I knew it, the flesh walls were only 20 meters away. Up above the whole, everyone on the surface began to pull. I grip on to the line, holding for dear life. I let go only for a moment to throw a few M80s. They blossom into an orange explosion in seconds, stopping the walls and making the beast howl in rage.
With that small window of opportunity, the rest of the workers yanked me out. In an instant, we all hightailed it out of the area, away from the pissed off behemoth.
---
When word got out that thing existed, everyone quickly abandoned our town, migrating elsewhere. My construction company nearly vanished along with the rest of the town. Thankfully, my loyal workers were able to stick along with me thanks to a lovely invention called a bank loan. Eventually, I settled down in a nice urban city where I am writing this now.
In retrospect, rural living isn’t such a good idea. With all that open space, no one can ever know what’s underneath the soil. That is, until they see the blackheads. And that beast was only in hibernation.
I can only imagine what would happen if it was active.

Finding land was always the hardest part of owning a construction company. Every time I seemingly found the perfect lot, I’d always find something that fucked it all up. It was back to square one after that. All the useful lots were usually taken by some greedy whippersnapper farmers that were left a little nest egg. My small town was quickly growing, and adding new housing was critical. Furthermore, with the budget heading on a one way trip to oblivion, I needed to find good land to buy.
While I sucked down my eighty-seventh-and-a half coffee of the day in a caffeine filled rage, I noticed a FOR SALE CHEAP sign sticking out on the soil. Some old geezer sat right beside it with his rinky-dink rusty RV.
My workers and I hooted and hollered at our find from the cockpits of their excavators; our business would live another day. We’d finally managed to hit the jackpot.
Or, at least I thought I did.Instead of being eager or excited about selling the land, his eyes were bloodshot, his lower jaw permanently stuck out in a troglodyte fashion, and his outstretched hand was shaking and rattling like a leaf.
Getting out of my truck, I waltzed over to the old man. “How much for the land?” I said.
“Eighty bucks…” The old man croaked.
My eyes widened. This had to be some kind of dream. I shrugged at my workers. “Why is the price so low?”
The geezer pointed off towards the northwest. My eyes scanned a patch of…something.
Fissures and pits dug into a beige spot with some occasional splotches of purple. Its edges were smooth, blending in with the grass in patches like the contours on army camouflage pants. Its perimeter could not be determined, but it was at least 50 feet wide. The indentations held a soup of dirt and backwash, making the whole mass resemble a giant partially eaten saltine cracker.
Mother nature liked to use our town as her pissing ground, so flooding, rain and washed up junk wasn’t uncommon. But it didn’t explain how irregular the whole surface was. That didn’t matter, though; even if the land was crap, I still could make do.
“It looks like a boring patch of sandstone. That’s it? That’s what you are so worried about? You’ve got a deal!” I said to the seller. Exchanging money for the land, he limped off to his RV and proceeded to floor it.
I turned to my workers. All they did in response was exchange glances about the rock formation. I rested my finger under my chin.
Kneeling on the ground to investigate the patch, I tugged at the surface. A sheet of translucent material gummed up my gloves when I scratched the surface. Peeling off a piece, I held it up to the clear blue sky. Scratches marked its surface, leaving it chalky and brittle like talc.
Then, something caught my eye. Pink rings covered the pits right where the semisolid muck breached the surface. I crouched on all fours. Sandstone could come in multiple colors and unique layers, but the sides looked…
Raw, slippery, and unnaturally shiny.
“Bring a jackhammer,” I demanded. Someone came over, waddling with the heavy tool, plugging it in and activating the steel beast.
They shoved the drill bit into one of the pinkish borders. With a switch flick, it activated, burring into it. The worker grits their teeth, trying to steady it. The liquid in the pores splashed around in mini tsunamis. Suddenly, the ground shook underneath. There’s no way it could have come from the jackhammer; the activity was much too intense. I scratched my neck and stroked my beard.
It was nothing greater than a few small subterranean tremors. The thing was, earthquakes weren’t common around here. The town was in the middle of the Midwestern United States, completely away from any tectonic plates. When the activity ceased, the pink walls didn’t have any dents.
Adjusting my hard hat, I facepalmed. Sandstone would have crumbled with little effort.
“What kind of rock is this?” I thought. The situation was just a minor setback, though. More firepower was needed. It was time to blow something up.
“Get the M80’s…” I ordered.
One of the workers brought a bag filled with the bombs. They almost resembled stringy worms jutting out of explosive, deformed apples. I took out my cigarette lighter, picking out one of the M80s and throwing it into the middle of the pitting.
“Take cover!” I barked. We dove away from the ravine, bracing for it. Then, it blew up, sending the mixture of dirt and water skyrocketing to the sides and raining down in brown snowballs. Getting out of my huddle, I investigated the results. The ground rumbled once more, the tremors far more intense than before.
The dirt had jettisoned from the ravines and holes, but the surface itself still remained intact. I groaned. “Well, shit,” I muttered. Pacing around the parameter of the flesh-colored stone, I thought up a plan. The merged holes were large enough to fit some men inside, but they were too narrow to fit a scoop.
Then, one finally hatched.
“Bring out some slack lines! I want the area cleaned and dug up by the end of the day!”“Yes, sir!”
---
Ten men were sent into the pits, glowing bungee cords wrapped around their waists. Each were armed with massive drills and a large bucket. After a few hours of digging, the smell of rotting onions wafted deep within the pits. When I looked down inside, the topsoil was completely removed, replaced with nothing but a steaming, yellow-white chowder.
“Did I just uncover a sulfur pit?” I wondered. Though our town was known for mining, we’ve never uncovered any rocks like these. We were known for mining salt and coal, not sulfur. Of course, running into unwanted sedimentary rock was normal in a mining operation. When I took a closer look, my workers’ boots were sinking in…muck? So much for my conclusion about sulfur.
Tying a rope around my waist, I repelled down for an inspection. My boots squished the thick white tar, surrounding the sides of the wall. I stuck my hand into the concoction and gave it a sniff. Throwing it on the ground with a plop, I covered my nose in disgust.
“What the hell is that stuff?! Smells like burning sweat socks!” I exclaimed.
“Should we continue our work? Seems kind of sketchy. I mean, this doesn’t look like much of a rock formation to me,” a worker asked.
I gazed at the rim of my hardhat. “Ok, this obviously isn’t going to work out.” I glanced up at the hot sun. Raising a hand to my face, I try to make out if there were any other good sources of land. All around us for miles were hundreds of corn farms. Getting a permit to take the land a la eminent domain was out of the question. That law-based bullshit would take way too long. Even then, there was no way I could convince those other farmers to fork over some land. My company needed profits and fast. “Keep digging. I’ll be gone for an hour.”
As I got into my car, I requested a right hand man to keep watch while I traveled to the nearest hardware store. While I got back on the road, I caught another formation resembling the ravines and pits back at the main site. I squinted at the formation, surmising about what to do with that section. Maybe it was my chance to acquire even more land and possibly save the company?
---
By the time I got back, the holes had doubled in size. When I peered down into the pockets, all that showed up was a black void. The fluids inside had drained away, leaving only a crust of dirt and that same creamy slime on the sides. I tied one of the harnesses around me, attaching a cable from a winch to the front and attached a bright yellow flashlight to my hat. I jerked my head to the side, demanding that others follow.
“Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea…” A coworker says, holding up a finger.
“This is the last place we can afford. If we don’t get any profits, this company AND US ALL go under. I’m not doing this for just myself. I’m doing this all for every one of you! So get to work!” I snapped, pointing off to the other formation. “And while we descend, send another excavation team to that other rock formation way over yonder. Maybe that will help us find a way to get rid of this formation.”
Instantly, they all put on their harnesses and activated their lights. I position myself over the edge of a hole, just big enough for me and one other to enter. With a thumbs up, the winches unwound. As I pressed my boots against the unknown rock wall, tremors resonated through the chambers once again.
Our lanterns pierced through the darkness, but still weren’t able to reach the bottom of the pits. After a few minutes of descending, a greasy substance started to coat the walls. I began sweating from the heat and moisture rising from the pit below.
Slowly, every one of us falls into the pits, scanning the surrounding area. One of the coworkers shone a light on the surface directly above us. Growths resembling oversized tongues glistened with dripping unidentifiable substances. Looking up, the ceiling glistened a fleshy pink color. Masses of semisolid substances gathered into lukewarm, gray pearls that stuck out and hung, similarly to disco balls at nightclubs.
Then, I put everything together. The clear sheets of rock on the surface, the strange white liquids that filled the cavities, and the pink insides.
These were giant blackheads in the ground. What else could it have been? The liquid was pus, the sheets were dead skin, and the pink insides were pores. I gaze up at the hole above, hyperventilating. If I wanted to get rid of these, I needed to find the source and destroy it from within. Only then would the land be saved.
Off in the distance towards the north, I could make out the opening of some kind of cave. Pockmarks of light shone through newly excavated holes. My walkie talkie vibrated.
“You are not going to believe this, but I think these aren’t rock formations. They’re blackheads.” I said.
“Excuse me?” The person on the other line paused. “Now that I think of it, it sort of makes sense. I knew something was up with the formations and all the crusty stuff. There’s no way in hell that this formation is just boring old rock. Should I explore the surrounding area?” The voice on the other line replied.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” I responded. “Lower down some M80’s!” I shouted to the ceiling. While I waited for the explosives, I signaled for the groups above to lower us deeper into the chasm. My walkie talkie vibrates again.
“We seem to be on some kind of spongy surface. It’s more moist than a shower loofa. What about you?”
“Hang on a second, we’re all lowering down.” I signal for the winches above to unwind slowly. Warm air blows on my back, coating it in a cape of stench. The lower we descended, the more concentrated it grew.
“We should have brought gas masks; the smell is nauseating down here! Tell me what exactly do you see?” I say. Before I knew it, a bucket of M80’s was dropped down on another line.
“Well the surface is mostly flat and the whole area is incredibly pink. When do you think we should use the explosives?”
“Not until we find the source of the trouble. Anything towards the mouth of the cave?”
I could hear rhythmic squelches and plops. “Outside from some dripping stalactites and stalagmites, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.”
Then, my back started to tingle. Oxygen was replaced entirely by the festering, infectious smell. It tore at my nostrils. I wretched, casting my head aside in case if I needed to spill my guts.
*Hisssssssssss…*Something was brewing deep below my feet. Droplets of an unknown substance burst in a manner similar to popcorn, bouncing in the heat. Looking all around the shimmering, mucous void, suspicion ate at me like wasp larvae in a caterpillar.
When the realization hit, my stomach dropped.
“STOP!” I shouted. Everyone’s line stopped in a blink. They chattered amongst themselves, wondering what the commotion was all about. From the quietness of the antechamber, I could hear bubbling and churning fluids. They were no more than a meter away. When I pointed the light downwards, I couldn’t find a bottom to the mysterious hot spring. The surface just shimmered a sickly bile yellow. I turned to my other workers. Their heads began to wobble slightly. My vision warped and melted while my eyes grew heavier than sixteen ton weights.
“Look out below!” A worker hollered from the top of the ravines. Everyone came to an abrupt stop. A hammer fell from above, plummeting directly towards me. It shined in our torches. It landed right into the fluids with a fierce hiss. White foam grew from the bubbling pit. When I stuck my hand in the fluid, it corroded and burned my skin. Acid.
I hoisted myself up before dizziness could consume me.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. “Hang on a second, I’m picking up something. Let me investigate.”
Was that a heartbeat? “Wait a minute. I don’t think those are stalactites.” The pink spongy surface, the dead skin, the blackheads, the vat of acid, the heartbeat. This wasn’t a cave. The whole stinkin’ thing was an animal. And we were in its stomach.
My blood froze. I could make out someone faintly lighting something. Looking down at the acid pit and source of the mysterious noise.
I gasp. “DON’T LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!”
“Is something wrong, boss?” A coworker replies on the other line.
Suddenly, the cavern mouth snapped shut. A roar bellowed throughout the entire cavern, a horrid mix between an extraterrestrial shriek and someone’s throat being slit. I shielded my ears from the cacophony.
Off in the distance, the ground rose and sloped, plunging my men all towards the acid. If it wasn’t for the winch lines, they all would have been dissolved into bones. Screaming echoes as everyone frantically wound themselves up.
“WIND US BACK UP, NOW!” I ordered. My vision goes slurry in seconds. I could barely make out my coworkers as they rose up to the surface. Blurry flesh lines began to surround me. They grew larger and wider by each passing second. Another bellow rocked my eardrums. I struggled to snap myself out of my lethargy and gripped onto the lines, desperately pulling myself away from the gas and towards any area with oxygen. My line hoists me far enough from the gas for me to breathe.
Just like that, my vision cleared up. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the mysterious shapes were. Shining my light on one of them, stomach walls began to converge in thick curtains directly towards me. They scooted along the bottom of the lining, rumbling. Fluids below churn like a violent storm. The resonating bellows ripple against the converging walls.
“KEEP WINDING!” I yelled until I swore my throat would bleed. I looked all around me. Everyone else had ascended up the blackhead holes in time. I forced myself up the cords even higher, hoping I would be able to dodge the structures closing in.
Scanning around, that same rotten smell started to rise once again. Slowly, it grew more and more noxious. I was being wound back up, so I wondered how this could be happening.
I lowered my head; the acid was rising.
“WINCH FASTER!” I hollered above. Throwing my jack hammer away and getting rid of the extra weight, the winch increases in speed.
Then, with a clank, the whole hoisting mechanism stops. My heart skips a beat. “What are you doing?! Pull me out!”
“The winch is stuck!”
Everywhere around me, the walls continued converging. Four corners of the walls were at least 30 meters away and gaining. Their glistening sides made me hyperventilate in fear.
“Don’t just stand there! Pull me out!” I scanned all around, hoisting myself up even further. Before I knew it, the flesh walls were only 20 meters away. Up above the whole, everyone on the surface began to pull. I grip on to the line, holding for dear life. I let go only for a moment to throw a few M80s. They blossom into an orange explosion in seconds, stopping the walls and making the beast howl in rage.
With that small window of opportunity, the rest of the workers yanked me out. In an instant, we all hightailed it out of the area, away from the pissed off behemoth.
---
When word got out that thing existed, everyone quickly abandoned our town, migrating elsewhere. My construction company nearly vanished along with the rest of the town. Thankfully, my loyal workers were able to stick along with me thanks to a lovely invention called a bank loan. Eventually, I settled down in a nice urban city where I am writing this now.
In retrospect, rural living isn’t such a good idea. With all that open space, no one can ever know what’s underneath the soil. That is, until they see the blackheads. And that beast was only in hibernation.
I can only imagine what would happen if it was active.

Finding land was always the hardest part of owning a construction company. Every time I seemingly found the perfect lot, I’d always find something that fucked it all up. It was back to square one after that. All the useful lots were usually taken by some greedy whippersnapper farmers that were left a little nest egg. My small town was quickly growing, and adding new housing was critical. Furthermore, with the budget heading on a one way trip to oblivion, I needed to find good land to buy.
While I sucked down my eighty-seventh-and-a half coffee of the day in a caffeine filled rage, I noticed a FOR SALE CHEAP sign sticking out on the soil. Some old geezer sat right beside it with his rinky-dink rusty RV.
My workers and I hooted and hollered at our find from the cockpits of their excavators; our business would live another day. We’d finally managed to hit the jackpot.
Or, at least I thought I did.Instead of being eager or excited about selling the land, his eyes were bloodshot, his lower jaw permanently stuck out in a troglodyte fashion, and his outstretched hand was shaking and rattling like a leaf.
Getting out of my truck, I waltzed over to the old man. “How much for the land?” I said.
“Eighty bucks…” The old man croaked.
My eyes widened. This had to be some kind of dream. I shrugged at my workers. “Why is the price so low?”
The geezer pointed off towards the northwest. My eyes scanned a patch of…something.
Fissures and pits dug into a beige spot with some occasional splotches of purple. Its edges were smooth, blending in with the grass in patches like the contours on army camouflage pants. Its perimeter could not be determined, but it was at least 50 feet wide. The indentations held a soup of dirt and backwash, making the whole mass resemble a giant partially eaten saltine cracker.
Mother nature liked to use our town as her pissing ground, so flooding, rain and washed up junk wasn’t uncommon. But it didn’t explain how irregular the whole surface was. That didn’t matter, though; even if the land was crap, I still could make do.
“It looks like a boring patch of sandstone. That’s it? That’s what you are so worried about? You’ve got a deal!” I said to the seller. Exchanging money for the land, he limped off to his RV and proceeded to floor it.
I turned to my workers. All they did in response was exchange glances about the rock formation. I rested my finger under my chin.
Kneeling on the ground to investigate the patch, I tugged at the surface. A sheet of translucent material gummed up my gloves when I scratched the surface. Peeling off a piece, I held it up to the clear blue sky. Scratches marked its surface, leaving it chalky and brittle like talc.
Then, something caught my eye. Pink rings covered the pits right where the semisolid muck breached the surface. I crouched on all fours. Sandstone could come in multiple colors and unique layers, but the sides looked…
Raw, slippery, and unnaturally shiny.
“Bring a jackhammer,” I demanded. Someone came over, waddling with the heavy tool, plugging it in and activating the steel beast.
They shoved the drill bit into one of the pinkish borders. With a switch flick, it activated, burring into it. The worker grits their teeth, trying to steady it. The liquid in the pores splashed around in mini tsunamis. Suddenly, the ground shook underneath. There’s no way it could have come from the jackhammer; the activity was much too intense. I scratched my neck and stroked my beard.
It was nothing greater than a few small subterranean tremors. The thing was, earthquakes weren’t common around here. The town was in the middle of the Midwestern United States, completely away from any tectonic plates. When the activity ceased, the pink walls didn’t have any dents.
Adjusting my hard hat, I facepalmed. Sandstone would have crumbled with little effort.
“What kind of rock is this?” I thought. The situation was just a minor setback, though. More firepower was needed. It was time to blow something up.
“Get the M80’s…” I ordered.
One of the workers brought a bag filled with the bombs. They almost resembled stringy worms jutting out of explosive, deformed apples. I took out my cigarette lighter, picking out one of the M80s and throwing it into the middle of the pitting.
“Take cover!” I barked. We dove away from the ravine, bracing for it. Then, it blew up, sending the mixture of dirt and water skyrocketing to the sides and raining down in brown snowballs. Getting out of my huddle, I investigated the results. The ground rumbled once more, the tremors far more intense than before.
The dirt had jettisoned from the ravines and holes, but the surface itself still remained intact. I groaned. “Well, shit,” I muttered. Pacing around the parameter of the flesh-colored stone, I thought up a plan. The merged holes were large enough to fit some men inside, but they were too narrow to fit a scoop.
Then, one finally hatched.
“Bring out some slack lines! I want the area cleaned and dug up by the end of the day!”“Yes, sir!”
---
Ten men were sent into the pits, glowing bungee cords wrapped around their waists. Each were armed with massive drills and a large bucket. After a few hours of digging, the smell of rotting onions wafted deep within the pits. When I looked down inside, the topsoil was completely removed, replaced with nothing but a steaming, yellow-white chowder.
“Did I just uncover a sulfur pit?” I wondered. Though our town was known for mining, we’ve never uncovered any rocks like these. We were known for mining salt and coal, not sulfur. Of course, running into unwanted sedimentary rock was normal in a mining operation. When I took a closer look, my workers’ boots were sinking in…muck? So much for my conclusion about sulfur.
Tying a rope around my waist, I repelled down for an inspection. My boots squished the thick white tar, surrounding the sides of the wall. I stuck my hand into the concoction and gave it a sniff. Throwing it on the ground with a plop, I covered my nose in disgust.
“What the hell is that stuff?! Smells like burning sweat socks!” I exclaimed.
“Should we continue our work? Seems kind of sketchy. I mean, this doesn’t look like much of a rock formation to me,” a worker asked.
I gazed at the rim of my hardhat. “Ok, this obviously isn’t going to work out.” I glanced up at the hot sun. Raising a hand to my face, I try to make out if there were any other good sources of land. All around us for miles were hundreds of corn farms. Getting a permit to take the land a la eminent domain was out of the question. That law-based bullshit would take way too long. Even then, there was no way I could convince those other farmers to fork over some land. My company needed profits and fast. “Keep digging. I’ll be gone for an hour.”
As I got into my car, I requested a right hand man to keep watch while I traveled to the nearest hardware store. While I got back on the road, I caught another formation resembling the ravines and pits back at the main site. I squinted at the formation, surmising about what to do with that section. Maybe it was my chance to acquire even more land and possibly save the company?
---
By the time I got back, the holes had doubled in size. When I peered down into the pockets, all that showed up was a black void. The fluids inside had drained away, leaving only a crust of dirt and that same creamy slime on the sides. I tied one of the harnesses around me, attaching a cable from a winch to the front and attached a bright yellow flashlight to my hat. I jerked my head to the side, demanding that others follow.
“Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea…” A coworker says, holding up a finger.
“This is the last place we can afford. If we don’t get any profits, this company AND US ALL go under. I’m not doing this for just myself. I’m doing this all for every one of you! So get to work!” I snapped, pointing off to the other formation. “And while we descend, send another excavation team to that other rock formation way over yonder. Maybe that will help us find a way to get rid of this formation.”
Instantly, they all put on their harnesses and activated their lights. I position myself over the edge of a hole, just big enough for me and one other to enter. With a thumbs up, the winches unwound. As I pressed my boots against the unknown rock wall, tremors resonated through the chambers once again.
Our lanterns pierced through the darkness, but still weren’t able to reach the bottom of the pits. After a few minutes of descending, a greasy substance started to coat the walls. I began sweating from the heat and moisture rising from the pit below.
Slowly, every one of us falls into the pits, scanning the surrounding area. One of the coworkers shone a light on the surface directly above us. Growths resembling oversized tongues glistened with dripping unidentifiable substances. Looking up, the ceiling glistened a fleshy pink color. Masses of semisolid substances gathered into lukewarm, gray pearls that stuck out and hung, similarly to disco balls at nightclubs.
Then, I put everything together. The clear sheets of rock on the surface, the strange white liquids that filled the cavities, and the pink insides.
These were giant blackheads in the ground. What else could it have been? The liquid was pus, the sheets were dead skin, and the pink insides were pores. I gaze up at the hole above, hyperventilating. If I wanted to get rid of these, I needed to find the source and destroy it from within. Only then would the land be saved.
Off in the distance towards the north, I could make out the opening of some kind of cave. Pockmarks of light shone through newly excavated holes. My walkie talkie vibrated.
“You are not going to believe this, but I think these aren’t rock formations. They’re blackheads.” I said.
“Excuse me?” The person on the other line paused. “Now that I think of it, it sort of makes sense. I knew something was up with the formations and all the crusty stuff. There’s no way in hell that this formation is just boring old rock. Should I explore the surrounding area?” The voice on the other line replied.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” I responded. “Lower down some M80’s!” I shouted to the ceiling. While I waited for the explosives, I signaled for the groups above to lower us deeper into the chasm. My walkie talkie vibrates again.
“We seem to be on some kind of spongy surface. It’s more moist than a shower loofa. What about you?”
“Hang on a second, we’re all lowering down.” I signal for the winches above to unwind slowly. Warm air blows on my back, coating it in a cape of stench. The lower we descended, the more concentrated it grew.
“We should have brought gas masks; the smell is nauseating down here! Tell me what exactly do you see?” I say. Before I knew it, a bucket of M80’s was dropped down on another line.
“Well the surface is mostly flat and the whole area is incredibly pink. When do you think we should use the explosives?”
“Not until we find the source of the trouble. Anything towards the mouth of the cave?”
I could hear rhythmic squelches and plops. “Outside from some dripping stalactites and stalagmites, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.”
Then, my back started to tingle. Oxygen was replaced entirely by the festering, infectious smell. It tore at my nostrils. I wretched, casting my head aside in case if I needed to spill my guts.
*Hisssssssssss…*Something was brewing deep below my feet. Droplets of an unknown substance burst in a manner similar to popcorn, bouncing in the heat. Looking all around the shimmering, mucous void, suspicion ate at me like wasp larvae in a caterpillar.
When the realization hit, my stomach dropped.
“STOP!” I shouted. Everyone’s line stopped in a blink. They chattered amongst themselves, wondering what the commotion was all about. From the quietness of the antechamber, I could hear bubbling and churning fluids. They were no more than a meter away. When I pointed the light downwards, I couldn’t find a bottom to the mysterious hot spring. The surface just shimmered a sickly bile yellow. I turned to my other workers. Their heads began to wobble slightly. My vision warped and melted while my eyes grew heavier than sixteen ton weights.
“Look out below!” A worker hollered from the top of the ravines. Everyone came to an abrupt stop. A hammer fell from above, plummeting directly towards me. It shined in our torches. It landed right into the fluids with a fierce hiss. White foam grew from the bubbling pit. When I stuck my hand in the fluid, it corroded and burned my skin. Acid.
I hoisted myself up before dizziness could consume me.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. “Hang on a second, I’m picking up something. Let me investigate.”
Was that a heartbeat? “Wait a minute. I don’t think those are stalactites.” The pink spongy surface, the dead skin, the blackheads, the vat of acid, the heartbeat. This wasn’t a cave. The whole stinkin’ thing was an animal. And we were in its stomach.
My blood froze. I could make out someone faintly lighting something. Looking down at the acid pit and source of the mysterious noise.
I gasp. “DON’T LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!”
“Is something wrong, boss?” A coworker replies on the other line.
Suddenly, the cavern mouth snapped shut. A roar bellowed throughout the entire cavern, a horrid mix between an extraterrestrial shriek and someone’s throat being slit. I shielded my ears from the cacophony.
Off in the distance, the ground rose and sloped, plunging my men all towards the acid. If it wasn’t for the winch lines, they all would have been dissolved into bones. Screaming echoes as everyone frantically wound themselves up.
“WIND US BACK UP, NOW!” I ordered. My vision goes slurry in seconds. I could barely make out my coworkers as they rose up to the surface. Blurry flesh lines began to surround me. They grew larger and wider by each passing second. Another bellow rocked my eardrums. I struggled to snap myself out of my lethargy and gripped onto the lines, desperately pulling myself away from the gas and towards any area with oxygen. My line hoists me far enough from the gas for me to breathe.
Just like that, my vision cleared up. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the mysterious shapes were. Shining my light on one of them, stomach walls began to converge in thick curtains directly towards me. They scooted along the bottom of the lining, rumbling. Fluids below churn like a violent storm. The resonating bellows ripple against the converging walls.
“KEEP WINDING!” I yelled until I swore my throat would bleed. I looked all around me. Everyone else had ascended up the blackhead holes in time. I forced myself up the cords even higher, hoping I would be able to dodge the structures closing in.
Scanning around, that same rotten smell started to rise once again. Slowly, it grew more and more noxious. I was being wound back up, so I wondered how this could be happening.
I lowered my head; the acid was rising.
“WINCH FASTER!” I hollered above. Throwing my jack hammer away and getting rid of the extra weight, the winch increases in speed.
Then, with a clank, the whole hoisting mechanism stops. My heart skips a beat. “What are you doing?! Pull me out!”
“The winch is stuck!”
Everywhere around me, the walls continued converging. Four corners of the walls were at least 30 meters away and gaining. Their glistening sides made me hyperventilate in fear.
“Don’t just stand there! Pull me out!” I scanned all around, hoisting myself up even further. Before I knew it, the flesh walls were only 20 meters away. Up above the whole, everyone on the surface began to pull. I grip on to the line, holding for dear life. I let go only for a moment to throw a few M80s. They blossom into an orange explosion in seconds, stopping the walls and making the beast howl in rage.
With that small window of opportunity, the rest of the workers yanked me out. In an instant, we all hightailed it out of the area, away from the pissed off behemoth.
---
When word got out that thing existed, everyone quickly abandoned our town, migrating elsewhere. My construction company nearly vanished along with the rest of the town. Thankfully, my loyal workers were able to stick along with me thanks to a lovely invention called a bank loan. Eventually, I settled down in a nice urban city where I am writing this now.
In retrospect, rural living isn’t such a good idea. With all that open space, no one can ever know what’s underneath the soil. That is, until they see the blackheads. And that beast was only in hibernation.
I can only imagine what would happen if it was active.

Finding land was always the hardest part of owning a construction company. Every time I seemingly found the perfect lot, I’d always find something that fucked it all up. It was back to square one after that. All the useful lots were usually taken by some greedy whippersnapper farmers that were left a little nest egg. My small town was quickly growing, and adding new housing was critical. Furthermore, with the budget heading on a one way trip to oblivion, I needed to find good land to buy.
While I sucked down my eighty-seventh-and-a half coffee of the day in a caffeine filled rage, I noticed a FOR SALE CHEAP sign sticking out on the soil. Some old geezer sat right beside it with his rinky-dink rusty RV.
My workers and I hooted and hollered at our find from the cockpits of their excavators; our business would live another day. We’d finally managed to hit the jackpot.
Or, at least I thought I did.
Instead of being eager or excited about selling the land, his eyes were bloodshot, his lower jaw permanently stuck out in a troglodyte fashion, and his outstretched hand was shaking and rattling like a leaf.
Getting out of my truck, I waltzed over to the old man. “How much for the land?” I said.
“Eighty bucks…” The old man croaked.
My eyes widened. This had to be some kind of dream. I shrugged at my workers. “Why is the price so low?”
The geezer pointed off towards the northwest. My eyes scanned a patch of…something.
Fissures and pits dug into a beige spot with some occasional splotches of purple. Its edges were smooth, blending in with the grass in patches like the contours on army camouflage pants. Its perimeter could not be determined, but it was at least 50 feet wide. The indentations held a soup of dirt and backwash, making the whole mass resemble a giant partially eaten saltine cracker.
Mother nature liked to use our town as her pissing ground, so flooding, rain and washed up junk wasn’t uncommon. But it didn’t explain how irregular the whole surface was. That didn’t matter, though; even if the land was crap, I still could make do.
“It looks like a boring patch of sandstone. That’s it? That’s what you are so worried about? You’ve got a deal!” I said to the seller. Exchanging money for the land, he limped off to his RV and proceeded to floor it.
I turned to my workers. All they did in response was exchange glances about the rock formation. I rested my finger under my chin.
Kneeling on the ground to investigate the patch, I tugged at the surface. A sheet of translucent material gummed up my gloves when I scratched the surface. Peeling off a piece, I held it up to the clear blue sky. Scratches marked its surface, leaving it chalky and brittle like talc.
Then, something caught my eye. Pink rings covered the pits right where the semisolid muck breached the surface. I crouched on all fours. Sandstone could come in multiple colors and unique layers, but the sides looked…
Raw, slippery, and unnaturally shiny.
“Bring a jackhammer,” I demanded. Someone came over, waddling with the heavy tool, plugging it in and activating the steel beast.
They shoved the drill bit into one of the pinkish borders. With a switch flick, it activated, burring into it. The worker grits their teeth, trying to steady it. The liquid in the pores splashed around in mini tsunamis. Suddenly, the ground shook underneath. There’s no way it could have come from the jackhammer; the activity was much too intense. I scratched my neck and stroked my beard.
It was nothing greater than a few small subterranean tremors. The thing was, earthquakes weren’t common around here. The town was in the middle of the Midwestern United States, completely away from any tectonic plates. When the activity ceased, the pink walls didn’t have any dents.
Adjusting my hard hat, I facepalmed. Sandstone would have crumbled with little effort.
“What kind of rock is this?” I thought. The situation was just a minor setback, though. More firepower was needed. It was time to blow something up.
“Get the M80’s…” I ordered.
One of the workers brought a bag filled with the bombs. They almost resembled stringy worms jutting out of explosive, deformed apples. I took out my cigarette lighter, picking out one of the M80s and throwing it into the middle of the pitting.
“Take cover!” I barked. We dove away from the ravine, bracing for it. Then, it blew up, sending the mixture of dirt and water skyrocketing to the sides and raining down in brown snowballs. Getting out of my huddle, I investigated the results. The ground rumbled once more, the tremors far more intense than before.
The dirt had jettisoned from the ravines and holes, but the surface itself still remained intact. I groaned.
“Well, shit,” I muttered. Pacing around the parameter of the flesh-colored stone, I thought up a plan. The merged holes were large enough to fit some men inside, but they were too narrow to fit a scoop.
Then, one finally hatched.
“Bring out some slack lines! I want the area cleaned and dug up by the end of the day!”
“Yes, sir!”
---

Ten men were sent into the pits, glowing bungee cords wrapped around their waists. Each were armed with massive drills and a large bucket. After a few hours of digging, the smell of rotting onions wafted deep within the pits. When I looked down inside, the topsoil was completely removed, replaced with nothing but a steaming, yellow-white chowder. 

“Did I just uncover a sulfur pit?” I wondered. Though our town was known for mining, we’ve never uncovered any rocks like these. We were known for mining salt and coal, not sulfur. Of course, running into unwanted sedimentary rock was normal in a mining operation. When I took a closer look, my workers’ boots were sinking in…muck? So much for my conclusion about sulfur.
Tying a rope around my waist, I repelled down for an inspection. My boots squished the thick white tar, surrounding the sides of the wall. I stuck my hand into the concoction and gave it a sniff. Throwing it on the ground with a plop, I covered my nose in disgust.
“What the hell is that stuff?! Smells like burning sweat socks!” I exclaimed.
“Should we continue our work? Seems kind of sketchy. I mean, this doesn’t look like much of a rock formation to me,” a worker asked.
I gazed at the rim of my hardhat. “Ok, this obviously isn’t going to work out.” I glanced up at the hot sun. Raising a hand to my face, I try to make out if there were any other good sources of land. All around us for miles were hundreds of corn farms. Getting a permit to take the land a la eminent domain was out of the question. That law-based bullshit would take way too long. Even then, there was no way I could convince those other farmers to fork over some land. My company needed profits and fast. “Keep digging. I’ll be gone for an hour.”
As I got into my car, I requested a right hand man to keep watch while I traveled to the nearest hardware store. While I got back on the road, I caught another formation resembling the ravines and pits back at the main site. I squinted at the formation, surmising about what to do with that section. Maybe it was my chance to acquire even more land and possibly save the company?
---
By the time I got back, the holes had doubled in size. When I peered down into the pockets, all that showed up was a black void. The fluids inside had drained away, leaving only a crust of dirt and that same creamy slime on the sides. I tied one of the harnesses around me, attaching a cable from a winch to the front and attached a bright yellow flashlight to my hat. I jerked my head to the side, demanding that others follow.
“Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea…” A coworker says, holding up a finger.
“This is the last place we can afford. If we don’t get any profits, this company AND US ALL go under. I’m not doing this for just myself. I’m doing this all for every one of you! So get to work!” I snapped, pointing off to the other formation. “And while we descend, send another excavation team to that other rock formation way over yonder. Maybe that will help us find a way to get rid of this formation.”
Instantly, they all put on their harnesses and activated their lights. I position myself over the edge of a hole, just big enough for me and one other to enter. With a thumbs up, the winches unwound. As I pressed my boots against the unknown rock wall, tremors resonated through the chambers once again.
Our lanterns pierced through the darkness, but still weren’t able to reach the bottom of the pits. After a few minutes of descending, a greasy substance started to coat the walls. I began sweating from the heat and moisture rising from the pit below.
Slowly, every one of us falls into the pits, scanning the surrounding area. One of the coworkers shone a light on the surface directly above us. Growths resembling oversized tongues glistened with dripping unidentifiable substances. Looking up, the ceiling glistened a fleshy pink color. Masses of semisolid substances gathered into lukewarm, gray pearls that stuck out and hung, similarly to disco balls at nightclubs.
Then, I put everything together. The clear sheets of rock on the surface, the strange white liquids that filled the cavities, and the pink insides.
These were giant blackheads in the ground. What else could it have been? The liquid was pus, the sheets were dead skin, and the pink insides were pores. I gaze up at the hole above, hyperventilating. If I wanted to get rid of these, I needed to find the source and destroy it from within. Only then would the land be saved.
Off in the distance towards the north, I could make out the opening of some kind of cave. Pockmarks of light shone through newly excavated holes. My walkie talkie vibrated.
“You are not going to believe this, but I think these aren’t rock formations. They’re blackheads.” I said.
“Excuse me?” The person on the other line paused. “Now that I think of it, it sort of makes sense. I knew something was up with the formations and all the crusty stuff. There’s no way in hell that this formation is just boring old rock. Should I explore the surrounding area?” The voice on the other line replied.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” I responded. “Lower down some M80’s!” I shouted to the ceiling. While I waited for the explosives, I signaled for the groups above to lower us deeper into the chasm. My walkie talkie vibrates again.
“We seem to be on some kind of spongy surface. It’s more moist than a shower loofa. What about you?”
“Hang on a second, we’re all lowering down.” I signal for the winches above to unwind slowly. Warm air blows on my back, coating it in a cape of stench. The lower we descended, the more concentrated it grew.
“We should have brought gas masks; the smell is nauseating down here! Tell me what exactly do you see?” I say. Before I knew it, a bucket of M80’s was dropped down on another line.
“Well the surface is mostly flat and the whole area is incredibly pink. When do you think we should use the explosives?”
“Not until we find the source of the trouble. Anything towards the mouth of the cave?”
I could hear rhythmic squelches and plops. “Outside from some dripping stalactites and stalagmites, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary.”
Then, my back started to tingle. Oxygen was replaced entirely by the festering, infectious smell. It tore at my nostrils. I wretched, casting my head aside in case if I needed to spill my guts.
Hisssssssssss…Something was brewing deep below my feet. Droplets of an unknown substance burst in a manner similar to popcorn, bouncing in the heat. Looking all around the shimmering, mucous void, suspicion ate at me like wasp larvae in a caterpillar.
When the realization hit, my stomach dropped.
“STOP!” I shouted. Everyone’s line stopped in a blink. They chattered amongst themselves, wondering what the commotion was all about. From the quietness of the antechamber, I could hear bubbling and churning fluids. They were no more than a meter away. When I pointed the light downwards, I couldn’t find a bottom to the mysterious hot spring. The surface just shimmered a sickly bile yellow. I turned to my other workers. Their heads began to wobble slightly. My vision warped and melted while my eyes grew heavier than sixteen ton weights.
“Look out below!” A worker hollered from the top of the ravines. Everyone came to an abrupt stop. A hammer fell from above, plummeting directly towards me. It shined in our torches. It landed right into the fluids with a fierce hiss. White foam grew from the bubbling pit. When I stuck my hand in the fluid, it corroded and burned my skin. Acid.
I hoisted myself up before dizziness could consume me.
Ka-thump, ka-thump, ka-thump. “Hang on a second, I’m picking up something. Let me investigate.”
Was that a heartbeat? “Wait a minute. I don’t think those are stalactites.”
The pink spongy surface, the dead skin, the blackheads, the vat of acid, the heartbeat. This wasn’t a cave. The whole stinkin’ thing was an animal. And we were in its stomach.
My blood froze. I could make out someone faintly lighting something. Looking down at the acid pit and source of the mysterious noise.
I gasp. “DON’T LIGHT THOSE EXPLOSIVES!”
“Is something wrong, boss?” A coworker replies on the other line.
Suddenly, the cavern mouth snapped shut. A roar bellowed throughout the entire cavern, a horrid mix between an extraterrestrial shriek and someone’s throat being slit. I shielded my ears from the cacophony.
Off in the distance, the ground rose and sloped, plunging my men all towards the acid. If it wasn’t for the winch lines, they all would have been dissolved into bones. Screaming echoes as everyone frantically wound themselves up.
“WIND US BACK UP, NOW!” I ordered. My vision goes slurry in seconds. I could barely make out my coworkers as they rose up to the surface. Blurry flesh lines began to surround me. They grew larger and wider by each passing second. Another bellow rocked my eardrums. I struggled to snap myself out of my lethargy and gripped onto the lines, desperately pulling myself away from the gas and towards any area with oxygen. My line hoists me far enough from the gas for me to breathe.
Just like that, my vision cleared up. I rubbed my eyes, wondering what the mysterious shapes were. Shining my light on one of them, stomach walls began to converge in thick curtains directly towards me. They scooted along the bottom of the lining, rumbling. Fluids below churn like a violent storm. The resonating bellows ripple against the converging walls.
“KEEP WINDING!” I yelled until I swore my throat would bleed. I looked all around me. Everyone else had ascended up the blackhead holes in time. I forced myself up the cords even higher, hoping I would be able to dodge the structures closing in.
Scanning around, that same rotten smell started to rise once again. Slowly, it grew more and more noxious. I was being wound back up, so I wondered how this could be happening.
I lowered my head; the acid was rising.
“WINCH FASTER!” I hollered above. Throwing my jack hammer away and getting rid of the extra weight, the winch increases in speed.
Then, with a clank, the whole hoisting mechanism stops. My heart skips a beat. “What are you doing?! Pull me out!”
“The winch is stuck!”
Everywhere around me, the walls continue converging. Four corners of the walls were at least 30 meters away and gaining. Their glistening sides make me hyperventilate in fear.
“Don’t just stand there! Pull me out!” I scanned all around, hoisting myself up even further. Before I knew it, the flesh walls were only 20 meters away. Up above the whole, everyone on the surface began to pull. I grip on to the line, holding for dear life. I let go only for a moment to throw a few M80s. They blossom into an orange explosion in seconds, stopping the walls and making the beast howl in rage.
With that small window of opportunity, the rest of the workers yanked me out. In an instant, we all hightailed it out of the area, away from the pissed off behemoth.
---
When word got out that thing existed, everyone quickly abandoned our town, migrating elsewhere. My construction company nearly vanished along with the rest of the town. Thankfully, my loyal workers were able to stick along with me thanks to a lovely invention called a bank loan. Eventually, I settled down in a nice urban city where I am writing this now.
In retrospect, rural living isn’t such a good idea. With all that open space, no one can ever know what’s underneath the soil. That is, until they see the blackheads. And that beast was only in hibernation.
I can only imagine what would happen if it was active.

Oh goodness, I was so nervous.
I can't believe I got called by Octon. Octon! As in the Octan Corporation. As in the largest economic powerhouse in this arm of the Conglomerate. They offered me a job. Me! Why? I wasn't sure. Something about acting as a secretary for a fighter.
That sort of made sense. Octon wanted to get back into the showdown business and pit money. Now they claim they have a new fighter and want me to be his secretary. Simple enough, right?
When I arrived at Nocto Alpha I gawked at the sight of the station. It was massive with dozens of docking bays and landing platforms. It had so many lights it illuminated the space around it like a star. On the one hand, it was beautiful. On the other hand, it was a bit much for me. We Kyslans were simple people. Moreover, we weren't nearly as materialistic as the Tol'Bar for example. Give me a small ship with a decent room and I'll be happy.
Upon leaving my transport vessel, I stood in the expansive lobby. At first glance, I noticed I stood out quite a bit. Shouldn't have been surprising. Most of the people there were Tol'Bar so I was not only much taller but also a mammal covered in fur with claws, fangs, and predatory senses. In short, we couldn't have been more different.
And I was so nervous.
My skin crawled and my hair fuzzed. My ears twitched at every little sound and my nose smelled the cacophony of scents that polluted the air. It was different. This whole place it just… it felt like I wasn't meant to be here. But I couldn't pass up an opportunity like this. Even though the job I was hired for wasn't that appealing. In truth, I'm terrible with people. Especially non-predators.
Every time I talk to someone I get nervous. And when I get nervous I babble. And when I babble I get annoying. And when I get annoying people just leave and I'm square one. All alone. Alone was never good for us. Especially for me.
"Excuse me?", a sort of guttural voice spoke behind me, "A turned around to see a Tol'Bar dressed in a rather fancy uniform, "Are you Shapa Ratif?"
"Yes. Yes yes yes. That's me. That's me. Shapa."
"Follow me, please."
And so I did. He led me down a long hallway to a different docking bay. When we got there he gestured to the large red ship in front of us.
"The Money Maker. Director Coblo Kon'Bar's personal ship. He is waiting for you on board."
I stammered again in surprise, "M-Me? Why why w-why me? Me?"
"Yes, you.", he said like he was annoyed, "He hired you personally to work here."
"Per-personally? Why why personally? Me? Why?"
He sighed, "I don't know. But I suggest you don't keep him waiting. If there's anything he hates it's people with no sense of timing. So go."
I hopped over to the ship and went through the door. My eyes took in the sheer beauty and shine of the interior. It wasn't as big as I thought it would be judging from the outside but it was still rather spacious.
"Wow.", I couldn't help but say out loud. My right ear twitched as a door opened and another Tol'Bar appeared in front of me. This was more rotund than the others with shiny clothes and jewelry decorating every part of him except the face. He walked toward me and stood still with his hands behind his back.
"Shapa Ratif, I presume.", he spoke with the same glob-like voice as the others but it had a more dignified and royal sound, "I am Coblo Kon'Bar. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."
I stammered again, "H-H-Hi. Hello. How are you? Thank you for having me. Thank you.". I cursed internally at myself. Get it together, you dumb mutt. This is the director of Octon Corp. You can't embarrass yourself like this.
But he didn't look annoyed. If anything he let out an amused chuckle. "No need to be nervous, please. Walk with me."
We walked down the ornate hallway and he continued to talk, "I'm sure you have a lot of questions. Why are you here being chief among them. You've probably heard we acquired a new fighter some time ago. Adrien Lopez of planet Earth."
I looked at him with a confused expression, "E-Earth? I-I don't know a planet l-like that."
"Almost no one does. Apart from a crew of Ferurians, my research team, and the two of us, the rest of the galaxy is completely unaware of its existence and its people."
"A-A new world?!", I exclaimed loudly and immediately covered my mouth.
"Indeed.", Coblo said, "But let's keep it under wraps. I don't want the Exploratory Committee breathing down my neck just yet. They call themselves humans.", he handed me a data pad detailing the various looks and attributes of the new world. It looked sort of like mine just with much more water and fewer forests.
"You were picked because your kind resembles one of their non-sapient companions.", he said and showed me an image of a four-legged creature with golden fur. Its features did resemble mine. Only I walked upright and didn't have nearly as long of a face or as much fur.
"Now please, don't misunderstand me.", he continued, "This is merely to keep him at peace. He's been getting restless recently and they like having mammalian companions around. But it's not the only reason why you're here. You have impeccable organizational skills as well as a solid track record in accounting when you worked for Halzafar Metals. Impressive, I know how much Ghalia can push people."
"Sh-She was a g-good boss.", I said.
"Good but not the best.", he said with a wink, "Here we are. This is his room. When you get in don't get discouraged or intimidated. He's a person just like you and me. Make him feel comfortable. The information regarding his match is in the data pad. Good luck."
He walked away and I immediately got nervous again. Good luck? Why was he wishing me good luck? What's gonna happen? Alright, alright. Just stay calm. You can do this. He's a person. You're a person. You're both a person. Looks are superficial. Alright.
I opened the door and entered the room slowly. It was rather spacious with not a lot in it aside from the necessities like a bed and bathroom. Much like the rest of the ship it was painted red with occasional white and gold. I wasn't sure why this was Coblo's favorite color but at least they were consistent with it. As I was looking around I heard faint grunts in the corner of the room. Turning around I saw him. The human. Adrien Lopez.
He was lifting and lowering himself on a steel rod bolted to the wall. It seemed like some form of exercise. He wasn't wearing any clothes on his upper body. His back contracted as he lifted himself, pumping his back muscles. They were covered in scars of all kinds and varying ages. He was very impressive looking. A strong male no doubt. I slowly got closer and he seemed to notice my footsteps as he got down on the ground. He turned around and looked at me, his eyebrows frowning and his head tilting slightly. The front of his body was no less impressive than his back and with fewer but more noticeable scars. As he walked closer to me I shivered when our size difference became apparent. Not only was he broader but he was also a full head taller than I was. Being a Kyslan I was used to being taller than most other species in the conglomerate. But that wasn't the case this time.
I sheepishly lowered my head and couldn't help but gaze at his body. He noticed it and hurriedly put a shirt on to cover himself.
"H-Hi. Uhm. I-I-I'm Shapa. I'll b-be your secretary. D-Director C-Coblo asked me to f-fill you in on your match."
I paused after that. Goodness, I was nervous. He probably thinks I'm a mess. Not untrue but I can't let it stop me. He started walking even closer to me.
"I-I'm sorry if I said something. O-Or if I s-stared. It's just that you're different and have no fur and a new race and you can't speak so I have to speak for you and I speak a lot and we-"
I stopped. He stopped me. He put his hand on my hand. Was he… scratching me? Petting me? Wh-Why? I mean Coblo did say I looked like one of the animals from Adrien's world. They really are responsive toward them. His hand was so big it wrapped around the whole top of my head. It felt rough but gentle. And sweet. Like I was a child. I might as well have been. He moved his hand to the side of my neck where my jaw met my throat and then he stopped. He looked sad and a little embarrassed. Like he was realizing I was sapient.
"No no, it's alright. I don't mind. You can keep going if you'd like."
How did I say that without stuttering? Without feeling anxious or scared. His touch felt so calming. He rubbed my fur again and I found myself enjoying it. My tail wagged and wagged. It was a feeling I haven't felt much since I left my home. He stopped again and pointed at the data pad I was holding.
"Oh right, of course. Let's sit down.". We sat down on his bed and I opened the files, "We're going to a moon orbiting the planet of Korvularia. Our opponent is Patonal Shipping, a now-former subsidiary of Octon Corp. They tried building a new shipyard without Octon's consent or knowledge. It's anyone's guess as to why."
Adrien looked at the charts and images with little interest. It was clear he didn't care about the details. Only about the fight.
"Galnam Bursin, director of Patonal Shipping, has a solid track record in the showdown matches. Out of the seventeen matches he's participated in under Octon's name he won fourteen. Granted, most of these were not overly large business deals such as this one. There are two fighters we should worry about. Halzif Silvertooth, a Skelian with eight wins, and Kuldar the Breaker, a Ba'Ok with eleven wins and no losses under his belt. I hope you fight the former. With these big arms of yours, you'll snap him in half."
I playfully punched his shoulder and giggled. He smiled at me. A look of genuine happiness. It can't be easy for him. I noticed his neck scars and frowned.
"Hey, you can talk to me with this.", I adjusted the data pad and gave it to him. It showed a keyboard with his planet's letters. The pad would take them and then translate them to something I could understand. He wrote one word.
Hello.
I smiled at that and he kept writing.
Thank you for doing this. You have soft fur.
"Thank you. Where are you from?"
I was born in Monterrey. A city in Mexico on Earth.
I didn't know what any of those names meant. But it was still nice to know.
"Is it a nice place?"
It is loud with a lot of people. I do not like loud places.
I hesitated before asking another question, "Those scars? Where did you get them?"
He didn't answer for a while. I probably shouldn't have asked. But then he slowly typed in some words.
Bad business.
No more needed to be said. He was a fighter. Even back on his planet, he fought. Maybe for money, maybe for other reasons. I couldn't help but feel bad for him. Far away from home, doing something he's not fond of doing. I could relate to that somewhat. He was noticeably saddened by what he said and I grabbed his hand and lifted it to the back of my neck. He hesitated before petting and scratching me gently. It felt nice and calming but I didn't know why.
This went on for a few more days before we reached the moon. When I looked outside the window I saw the half-finished station along with pre-made habitation shelters. In the center of everything was a massive white dome. That was the pit. The name still bugged me. According to historical files, it originated from ancient times. Back when people used to kill each other with swords and stones they would capture people, put them in holes, and watch them fight for amusement. A custom I'm glad was lessened somewhat.
I met with Director Kon'Bar and we went down to the main entrance. Adrien was taken elsewhere. We walked down to the meeting hall where we met with Director Bursin and his retinue. They were Lebians. A race of very tall and very slender people with long, six-fingered hands and four eyes above a wide mouth. Their skin was light green and their eyes orange and white. Coblo slightly bowed and extended his arms sideways, as was Ton'Bar custom. The Lebians returned the gesture, making a large circle with their hands.
"Welcome Director Kon'Bar.", Galnam said with his raspy voice, "What a pleasure it is to have you here."
"I wish I could say the same.", Coblo replied, "Let's drop the pleasantries, Galnam. What do you think you're doing here?"
Galnam tilted his head, "I don't know what you mean. I have every legal right to start this construction. The Korvularian Shipping Guild-"
"You know damn well what this is.", Coblo interjected calmly, "You're not an independent corporation. You're a subsidiary. And as such you can't do anything without my consent and supervision. So I'll ask again. What do you think you are doing?
Galnam smiled at that, his mouth twisting and teeth showing. He walked closer to Coblo and spoke, "You are a crumbling empire. I'm just picking up the pieces."
I looked around nervously. That was a direct insult and a dumb one at that. Despite Octon's losses, they're still one of the wealthiest and most influential entities in the Conglomerate. Galnam was being way too arrogant and I had a feeling Coblo was gonna put him in his place.
"Who's your fighter this time?", Galnam asked mockingly as he glanced at me, "Is it this little mutt?"
"No.", Coblo replied calmly, "It's something I guarantee you've never seen before."
Galnam looked intrigued, "Well then. I won't tell you mine. Let's make this match one big surprise for all."
Everyone went their own way and prepared to watch the match. I sat down and looked around to see hundreds of people, dozens of species, all looked like they were important. The crowd went wild when the announcer walked in. One of my own but different. She had snow-white fur with a crimson dress and eyes. Her curvaceous body swayed as she walked to the center of the stage. She tapped her earpiece.
"Ladies and gentlemen! Predators and prey! Welcome to the Showdown!", the crowd roared and she continued, "Are you ready for the spectacle you've been waiting for?! Are you ready to see warriors spill blood?!", they cheered yet again, "Today's match is one of betrayal and broken loyalty! A battle between a master and his slave! Who will win?! And who will perish?! Only one way to find out! I am your host, Kaleena! And with me is Gordo!"
She pointed to a Jaboran at the commentary stage. His feline features were difficult to spot because of his pitch-black fur. The light dimmed and the two gates opened. Smoke rose above them in various colors.
"Here we have the terror of the twin moons! His fists are like hammers! And his brutality is only matched by his lust for glory! None have quelled his rage thus far! With a mighty record of eleven wins and no losses, all the way from Ba'Ok, on behalf of Patonal Shipping, Kuldar the Breaker!"
The large Ba'Ok entered the arena and the crowd immediately cheered. His arms were thick and packed with muscle. His hands looked like stone and he waved them to the crowd. He roared at the top of his lungs and beat his chest. As he stood in the middle, Kaleena turned to the other gate.
"And here is something new! A warrior the likes of which this galaxy has never seen before! Do not let his size fool you! For he is just as cunning and fast as he is strong and merciless! Hailing from a planet unheard of, on behalf of the Octon Corporation, Lopez the Goliath!"
Adrien walked out and the crowd cheered but many just stared. Murmurs filled the air as everyone, including Kaleena, Gordo, and Galnam looked puzzled at the sight. The only ones who didn't were Coblo, myself, and Kuldar, who instead smiled. When Adrien walked within a couple of steps from the ape, their size differences became apparent. Adrien was taller and leaner while Kuldar was wider and bulkier. Kaleena whispered something into Adrien's ear. Probably the rules of the match. They were simple. Fight until one gives up or dies.
"What is that?", Galnam asked Coblo, who didn't reply.
The fighters walked away from each other and prepared. Adrien took a low stance with his hands raised while Kuldar stood casually.
"Wow, this is exciting!", Kaleena shouted over the speakers, "What do you think, Gordo?"
"I am unsure.", he said calmly and professionally, "Kuldar has a reputation for breaking his opponent's whole skeleton. But I'm unsure of this Lopez. His height and long legs might give him an edge."
The bells rang and Kuldar immediately charged at Adrien. He brought both of his arms up and slammed them into the ground. Adrien dodged to the side and punched Kuldar in the face a few times. The ape wasn't fazed much and he continued to swing wildly. Adrien kept ducking and dodging until he found an opening and kicked Kuldar in his side, forcing him to bend slightly. Then he delivered a devastating hook with his right hand and blood started pouring out of the ape's mouth. Adrien never let up and kept landing blow after blow, knocking out a few teeth and breaking Kuldar's nose. Kuldar then caught one of his arms and hit him in the belly before throwing him to the side. A Ba'Ok's strength shouldn't be underestimated. Adrien quickly got up but held his hand over his bruised belly.
"Congratulations, Goliath! You've lasted longer than most!", Kaleena said playfully.
"Both of them have taken blows.", Gordo said, "For Lopez to still be standing, his body must be sturdier than it looks."
Kuldar then laughed, "Good fighter, you are! Shame you had to fight me! Don't worry, I won't break too much of you!"
Adrien couldn't reply. Even if he could I doubt he would. Instead, he did the unexpected. He ran toward Kuldar at full speed, catching him off guard. He then jumped and brought both of his feet up. They landed on Kuldar's damaged face and sent him staggering backward. Adrien then kept landing kick after kick on Kuldar's side and head but the Ba'Ok wouldn't fall. He grabbed Adrien's leg and tossed him into a wall. Adrien got up quickly but Kuldar wasn't far behind. With his massive hand, he wanted to punch Adrien. But the nimble human ducked below it and landed his own punch. Kuldar's face looked even more deformed now as Adrien kept hitting him relentlessly. The ape swung around wildly but Goliath dodged every pathetic attack.
Soon, Kuldar fell on his back and Adrien went after him. He kept punching with full force. Blood squirted and poured everywhere. Teeth flew out of the Breaker's broken mouth. Was he trying to surrender? No one knew. Eventually, he even stopped moving his arms but Adrien didn't stop. He kept hitting and hitting and hitting until Kuldar's head was caved in and mangled beyond recognition. Adrien stood up and looked at the crowd who just stared at him in awe and fear. His body was covered in blood. Kuldar the Breaker was now broken and dead. Killed by a new creature they had never seen before.
Why didn't they cheer? He won. He beat the Ba'Ok. Why didn't the bastards cheer? I couldn't take the silence anymore. I didn't know if I was crazy or high on adrenaline but I stood up and started chanting.
"Lopez! Lopez! Lopez!"
The crowd soon followed and a cacophony of cheering, chanting, and praising filled the dome. Adrien didn't change his expression and calmly walked toward his gate.
"H-How?", Galnam stammered in disbelief, "What did you do?!"
Coblo calmly stood up and fixed his suit as he stared at the angered director, "I will have the documents sent over to you in the morning. Be sure to read through them carefully. We wouldn't want another debacle to occur, now would we?"
With that, we left the Lebians to stare at their now-dead champion. Coblo couldn't help but smile in satisfaction. A new age was coming and he would lead it.
End of Chapter 4
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