A friend who has an apricot tree gave me some of his fruit, and I'd like to try making hot sauce with some of it.
Seems to me these kinds of sauces are often made with habanero and I have those available. Wondering what ratio of chile to fruit I should use and what other veg/herbs/spices work well with fruit sauces.
Can anyone share a recipe, or at least tips?

I'm making Indian/Iraqi mango sauce (amba). Usually I ferment ripe mangoes for about 2 weeks. Old recipes say an un ripe fruits should be used, but 2 weeks in, and I hardly see bubbles.. they are there, and if i squlish the rubber band i can see (and smell) the pressue release, but it is no near to my previous experience.
Any idea how long should I wait??

Well I am trying my luck here probably looking for a genuine connection with someone who can relate to my hobbies and interests. My name is Chris, from the philippines. I'm a classic smart, ambivert girl who likes anime, gaming , food and arts.
I have been gaming a lot on my switch to entertain myself so I am kinda looking into meeting possible playmates
I do also some mmorpg games on my spare time but mostly i do rpg games on my laptop like old playstation games since i missed them a lot. I also just started gaming in pc mostly just mmorpg like Lost Ark or Mir4. I am no good at FPS games cause they trigger my vertigo and it usually makes me sick after gaming for 30 mins. At times catch up on my JRPGS while being idle at work currently finishing Tales of Vesperia.
I also know mobile legends, LOL and other games like genshin ( though i stopped early).
Looking for friends who can play with or someone to bond with to maybe lesser the time i overthink. Feel burned about life as I have been doing intensive parental caregiving the past months.
I am also an anime fan and a former cosplayer and a roleplayer. Also I am into movies a lot and watch almost everything on netflix. Maybe we can movie marathon or what or watch anime ( I am a 90's kid who really watched a lot of animes). I love horror movies but I am a coward so if I movie with you expect shrills and screaming from me .
I am also into fan fiction writing in archive of our own which i have a few works with thousands of reads. Maybe we can discuss about relevant topics about writing or so I don't know but i am no expert.
I just really hope to speak to someone of different culture or learn about their lives or talk to someone casually. I feel so overwhelmed by worldly probs and I do want a friend that keeps me sane and in check while i face everyday to live and breathe one more day.
Right now i am not looking for any relationship as I want to build myself up and be okay again. Well normally people think I got my shit together at my age now but right now i'm burned out. I have quit several of my hobbies due to my past relationships. Currently bombarded on caregiving. Even though I have struggles I do just want a company and I don't need of saving on my problems. The savior complex of some does stress me and i dont like being dictated on what i should do and what.
Being cooped up at home tremendously gets mundane and I am hoping to meet people to share interest in or at least exchange relevant topics about life.
Also I draw digitally and try to do fan arts for Bts the korean group since I am a fan of it.
I am into photography, doll photography and food photography and love to dress up and make up. Also I am into culinary and love cooking. I binged a lot on baking shows and cooking competition shows like top chef or master chef. I love taking food pics of what I cook so pls feel free we can be chef mates and share recipes and such and also i am into baking I love to eat and taste different cuisines so a food buddy is preferred.
Anyways a friend who is into my interest I would love to speak and bond with.
People say I am a good listener maybe i can help too and give advices though I am not in the proper mental state to help with people under going immense stuff but I'll do my best to listen and advice as much as I can. They say I have great empathy and mindfulness of others and I am quite apologetic when I reply late.
I am normally awake in EST time american since my work is based in New Jersey. Americans or people in western countries works better for me since I sleep opposite of asians.
I am just a cute filipina who is a closet otaku looking for friends. i have a good sense humor and talk ample a lot and just chat literally almost about everything. But please do make efforts to converse and not let me do the talking it's really hard sometimes if communication is forced. If I offended you and you don't wanna be friends anymore that's fine just tell and I'll back off rather than being ignored intentionally. No drama promise .
Please do not come into my dms with the intent to sexualize me ...i have enough trauma from a sexual assault years ago...so pls if you have ill intentions.. do not dm me. I am not applying for any girlfriend position or be your future waifu. So please do not ask me sexual questions or any sexual preferences. At any point I am sexualized without consent I would block immediately. Again i am not looking for boyfriends or spouse for now nor I am looking for hook ups so stay away from me.
If you wanna see how i look check I can send pics. I am not a catfish yes I look 20's and i don't know why. Dont bother asking my snap i wont migrate there for you to validate my identity. I am not hooking up.
I am 5'3 1/2 yes I am small, my body type i am more on a curvy side for now and I am working out and dieting. I gained weight due to depression and anxiety from my sick ex . I am tan as you expect from filipinas and short hair, doe eyes and cute.
To be honest im scared partially with my post but either way. I just wanna feel a bit myself and meet pepple and I do want genuine friendly connection with someone. If you also do not like the fact I am living in asia and makes a big fuss i live far away...sorry I am not the girl for you.
So if you have reached this point I have a pending question
What is your favorite anime/game/ movie ? and why?. Send that to me when you mssg me here and I will entertain your pm. If someone doesnt follow this sorry i wont entertain. Since I believe good reading and following directions means a good intent towards someone.
This is a test someone reads my post and with the intent you really wanted to get to know me. Yeah I might sound demanding a bit but i really get a lot of mssgs and some are just after sex and such and really I am not for that at this point. Thank you for reading.

Well I am trying my luck here probably looking for a genuine connection with someone who can relate to my hobbies and interests. My name is Chris, from the philippines. I'm a classic smart, ambivert girl who likes anime, gaming , food and arts.
I have been gaming a lot on my switch to entertain myself so I am kinda looking into meeting possible playmates
I do also some mmorpg games on my spare time but mostly i do rpg games on my laptop like old playstation games since i missed them a lot. I also just started gaming in pc mostly just mmorpg like Lost Ark or Mir4. I am no good at FPS games cause they trigger my vertigo and it usually makes me sick after gaming for 30 mins. At times catch up on my JRPGS while being idle at work currently finishing Tales of Vesperia.
I also know mobile legends, LOL and other games like genshin ( though i stopped early).
Looking for friends who can play with or someone to bond with to maybe lesser the time i overthink. Feel burned about life as I have been doing intensive parental caregiving the past months.
I am also an anime fan and a former cosplayer and a roleplayer. Also I am into movies a lot and watch almost everything on netflix. Maybe we can movie marathon or what or watch anime ( I am a 90's kid who really watched a lot of animes). I love horror movies but I am a coward so if I movie with you expect shrills and screaming from me .
I am also into fan fiction writing in archive of our own which i have a few works with thousands of reads. Maybe we can discuss about relevant topics about writing or so I don't know but i am no expert.
I just really hope to speak to someone of different culture or learn about their lives or talk to someone casually. I feel so overwhelmed by worldly probs and I do want a friend that keeps me sane and in check while i face everyday to live and breathe one more day.
Right now i am not looking for any relationship as I want to build myself up and be okay again. Well normally people think I got my shit together at my age now but right now i'm burned out. I have quit several of my hobbies due to my past relationships. Currently bombarded on caregiving. Even though I have struggles I do just want a company and I don't need of saving on my problems. The savior complex of some does stress me and i dont like being dictated on what i should do and what.
Being cooped up at home tremendously gets mundane and I am hoping to meet people to share interest in or at least exchange relevant topics about life.
Also I draw digitally and try to do fan arts for Bts the korean group since I am a fan of it.
I am into photography, doll photography and food photography and love to dress up and make up. Also I am into culinary and love cooking. I binged a lot on baking shows and cooking competition shows like top chef or master chef. I love taking food pics of what I cook so pls feel free we can be chef mates and share recipes and such and also i am into baking I love to eat and taste different cuisines so a food buddy is preferred.
Anyways a friend who is into my interest I would love to speak and bond with.
People say I am a good listener maybe i can help too and give advices though I am not in the proper mental state to help with people under going immense stuff but I'll do my best to listen and advice as much as I can. They say I have great empathy and mindfulness of others and I am quite apologetic when I reply late.
I am normally awake in EST time american since my work is based in New Jersey. Americans or people in western countries works better for me since I sleep opposite of asians.
I am just a cute filipina who is a closet otaku looking for friends. i have a good sense humor and talk ample a lot and just chat literally almost about everything. But please do make efforts to converse and not let me do the talking it's really hard sometimes if communication is forced. If I offended you and you don't wanna be friends anymore that's fine just tell and I'll back off rather than being ignored intentionally. No drama promise .
Please do not come into my dms with the intent to sexualize me ...i have enough trauma from a sexual assault years ago...so pls if you have ill intentions.. do not dm me. I am not applying for any girlfriend position or be your future waifu. So please do not ask me sexual questions or any sexual preferences. At any point I am sexualized without consent I would block immediately. Again i am not looking for boyfriends or spouse for now nor I am looking for hook ups so stay away from me.
If you wanna see how i look check I can send pics. I am not a catfish yes I look 20's and i don't know why. Dont bother asking my snap i wont migrate there for you to validate my identity. I am not hooking up.
I am 5'3 1/2 yes I am small, my body type i am more on a curvy side for now and I am working out and dieting. I gained weight due to depression and anxiety from my sick ex . I am tan as you expect from filipinas and short hair, doe eyes and cute.
To be honest im scared partially with my post but either way. I just wanna feel a bit myself and meet pepple and I do want genuine friendly connection with someone. If you also do not like the fact I am living in asia and makes a big fuss i live far away...sorry I am not the girl for you.
So if you have reached this point I have a pending question
What is your favorite anime/game/ movie ? and why?. Send that to me when you mssg me here and I will entertain your pm. If someone doesnt follow this sorry i wont entertain. Since I believe good reading and following directions means a good intent towards someone.
This is a test someone reads my post and with the intent you really wanted to get to know me. Yeah I might sound demanding a bit but i really get a lot of mssgs and some are just after sex and such and really I am not for that at this point. Thank you for reading.

If you are a fan of spicy food, you might have heard of Old Godmother, a brand of chili sauce from China that has taken the world by storm. Old Godmother, or Lao Gan Ma in Chinese, literally means “old dry mother” and refers to the founder of the company, Tao Huabi, who started making chili sauce in her home kitchen in 1996.

• Old Godmother chili sauce is made with chili peppers, soybean oil, garlic, onion, fermented soybeans and peanuts. It has a rich and complex flavor that can enhance any dish, from noodles and rice to meat and vegetables. It is also versatile and can be used as a dipping sauce, a marinade, a dressing or a condiment.
• I discovered Old Godmother when I was studying abroad in China. I was amazed by the variety and intensity of Chinese cuisine, but I also craved something familiar and comforting. One day, I stumbled upon a small restaurant that served noodles with Old Godmother sauce. I was intrigued by the name and decided to give it a try.
• The first bite was a revelation. The noodles were chewy and satisfying, and the sauce was spicy, savory, nutty and aromatic. It was unlike anything I had ever tasted before. It was love at first sight. I finished the bowl in minutes and asked for more. The owner of the restaurant smiled and handed me a bottle of Old Godmother. He said it was his secret ingredient and that I could buy it at any supermarket.
• I thanked him and ran to the nearest store. I bought several bottles of Old Godmother and brought them back to my dorm. I started adding Old Godmother to everything I cooked or ate. It became my go-to sauce for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It spiced up my life and made me happy.
• Old Godmother also helped me make friends with other students who shared my passion for spicy food. We would exchange recipes and tips on how to use Old Godmother in different ways. We would also challenge each other to try the hottest dishes we could find or make. We had a lot of fun and laughter.
• Old Godmother is more than just a sauce. It is a symbol of courage, creativity and friendship. It is a reminder of my wonderful time in China and the people I met there. It is a part of my identity and culture. I still keep a bottle of Old Godmother in my kitchen and use it often. It never fails to bring a smile to my face and a fire to my tongue.

Hi everyone!
Aglio olio is one of the easiest pasta dish you can make; however, there are times that I just don’t have enough time to prepare everything in the morning to bring at work- from chopping the garlic, mixing the oil and peppers, etc. I just want a way wherein I could just easily “mix” the oil unto the pasta, similar to some bottled tomato based sauce. I tried looking for bottled aglio olio recipes online, so I can just store it in my pantry. Although, I cannot find any tips or recipes. There are tons of bottled tomato based sauce recipes online, but none on basic oil based. Anyone had tried storing aglio olio in a bottle or any container?
Thanks!

Hi - my local Thai place makes this amazing sauce for wraps . It seems like lime juice, fish sauce, sugar and …. Not sure what else but it’s out of this world . It’s a little different every time I order it. It’s for a protein, noodle , basil , cilantro mix you put in a lettuce wrap.
I’ve recreated a few different sauces from recipes on the net but none taste quite right. Very close though . Any ideas?

Before we discuss our apple pie recipe and explain how to make apple pie – let’s explore what this pie is made of. An apple pie is made up of two main components: the filling and the crust. The filling is typically made by combining thinly sliced apples with cinnamon. The apples are then coated with sauce typically made of butter, sugar, and flour.

apple pie crust recipe

Preparation Time: 15 minutes
Cooking Time: 20 minutes
Chilling: 1 hour
Nutritional Value: Mentioned above in apple pie calories

Ingredients:

• 1 ½ cups (~185gm) all-purpose flour
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 tbsp granulated sugar
• ½ cup (~115gm) unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces
• ½ cup ice water

Instructions:

1. Add sugar, salt and flour to a bowl, whisk well to combine.
2. Mix the butter pieces also with the rest. Using your fingers, make pea size crumbs of the butter.
3. Gradually add the ice water and as you continue to mix it. Pinch the dough to check if it’s sticky enough. Don’t add too much water.
4. Split the dough into 2 halves and shape each into a disk.
5. Wrap each disk in plastic and refrigerate for at least an hour before using them in your apple pie recipe.

To checkout in detail and get all your answers while making an apple pie recipe here.

Once upon a time, I traveled to San Antonio (Texas). When I got there, a couple of friends took me to a mom & pop hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. I was tired and grumpy from some very long flights & layovers, and I didn't feel like reading a menu. I was told to order chicken mole. I did. It was heavenly. I would like to know how to make it.
I have since learned that there are a zillion kinds of mole. I'm looking for a chicken dish with a dark brown sauce that I'm told contains chocolate as an ingredient. Possibly this sauce is called mole negro (?).
I can google all this, of course. I did. The hits include lots of recipes, many with ingredients that strike me as improbable, like pumpkin seeds, peanuts, raisins, and Ritz crackers. There are a few recipe sites that I trust; none of them has a chicken mole recipe.
I have also seen claims that a real mole takes something like 3 days to make. I would like to avoid that, if I can.
So, do any of you have a chicken mole recipe that is (1) reasonably authentic, (2) very good, and (3) doable in a single day?

I think that although the question is pretty broad, it's worth starting a discussion about.
In my opinion, we can't use reddit's votes as an objective metric of how good a given post is. Personally, I've seen a lot of posts that I consider kind of boring soar to the top of the month with over a hundred votes, and a lot of posts that I think are pretty great sink with ten or twenty.
Maybe the number of comments a post has is a better metric because it directly reflects how many users found the post interesting enough to comment on, but of course bots can be a confounder and sometimes there's threads where users comment specifically because they don't like the post.
What I'm getting at is that this is all going to be wishy-washy and subjective, and I'm not going to crunch the numbers to see what posts perform best or anything like that. I'm also not trying to indict or call anyone out in particular, so I'm not going to link to any examples of good or bad posts.
Here's the traits which I feel that good posts share:

1. On-topic

This is pretty standard stuff. Formatted like a town forum post, follows the rules, doesn't stretch into any weird territory that makes people uncomfortable.

1. Detailed & Original

Look, it's probably possible to make a good post that's two sentences long, but I think you have to be a master minimalist poet or something to pull it off. Otherwise, you're just vague-posting. If you're inviting everyone to a barbecue and just write, "Barbecue at my house on Sunday," you'll probably just receive a couple comments along the lines of, "I'll be there," and it's not much fun for anybody.
With a bit of effort, you could absolutely flesh that post out a little more. You could give a reason for your character to be throwing the event in the first place - maybe she just graduated and got a new job. This is a start, but it might just lead to people adding "Congratulations!". Then you just have a couple of comments that read, "Congratulations! I'll be there," and it's still not much fun for anybody involved.
Take it a step further and give people a hook to grab on in their comments. Including more details can absolutely stir up more interesting questions and anecdotes from other users. Is anybody excluded from the invitation? Was anything left behind in the house after the last party you threw? Are you going to return it? Will you be showing the big game? How's your team doing? Did anything funny happen during your first day at your new job? Is there anybody you'll miss because you're splitting ways since you both graduated? Are you trying any new recipes? Is your dad jealous that you're using that recipe from the internet instead of his?

1. ...

I don't want to be one of those weird internet nerds who go around calling things "je ne sais quoi," but I genuinely don't really have a word or phrase that encapsulates this last one. I guess the best way to summarise it would be, "the ease with which other users can interact with a given post without having any additional context beyond that provided in the post or in your user flair". Wikipedia tells me that "interactability" is a real word, but one too many professors have told me that I can't cite it as a reliable source.
Look, some of us get really deep into the process of creating a character with a whole backstory. If you're one of these people, it's easy to accidentally get into the habit of going into too much detail with your posts and starting long-running storylines in which each post doesn't make much sense without the information provided in the ones preceding it.
If I need to know the names of your character's second cousins twice-removed, the muzzle velocity of an artillery round, and the political history of a 15th-century eastern-european duchy to understand your post, it's probably time to step back and reflect on whether your post makes sense to other users. The goal is to have a collaborative experience that other people interact with. Don't write a novel bit-by-bit under the guise of posts.
Thoughts? Again, I don't want to indict or call anybody out. I'm not perfect and I've probably made several terrible posts too, even by my own standards.

So I’m a walleye fisherman by nature, but my good buddy loves to go for catfish. Normally it’s just to a local lake for channels. And they are easy to catch. But I’m looking to catch some big guys.
So what size rods, reels, line, hooks, etc should I look at buying? Trying to keep it cheap as it’s not something I’ll do on the regular. I know they are in the fox and rock rivers. Any good places from shore in south central Wisconsin? What else should I know?

Whenever someone complains about flying you get a number of counterpoints that sort of ignore the bigger picture, and it's hard to force myself to take into account all the details in one go. So here they are as I see them, many of the counterpoints against flying being overpowered and why I disagree with them.
You may find that not all of them are true in your mind, but disproving one or two of these is not enough proof do do away with the issue.
📒Knocked prone = falling to death
Yikes. People treat this like some sort of Mike drop moment This makes combat extremely swingy. So we go from flying being overpowered to nearly instant death. This almost feels like it's a massive punishment to flying so in all honesty most would not suggest using this type of thing too frequetly at the risk of being accused of specifically targeting that character (you will be). Players might even say that they are fine with it ahead of time. But they rarely hold to that when the time comes.
Additionally, the ways you can limit someone's speed are often specific and limited. It's not like these abilities never appear, but if all the sudden they do then that's going to be a giveaway
That is unless you use it sparingly. But if you do... It will barely be useful anyway.
However, this also assumes that the character in question is both in range and has weak enough saves that can be targeted. Things like nets and bolas in my experience both never see play and are weak... When someone is even in range. 20/60 range for a bola? You're going to be attacking for disadvantage for sure. Might as well shoot a bow. And the save is only 10 strength? Assuming a character with +0 strength modifier and saves, and assuming you are shooting at disadvantage (bolas) you can at max expect to hit half the time and the save with only fail half the time. That's 1/4 chance to actually do anything if you can line up a shot. Just shoot some arrows at the guy.
What about walloping arrows? Firstly, I didn't know those existed until some tried to argue about using them on flying characters. Seeing as I've never seen these used before, I would 100% accuse you of targeting me if you whipped this out on me as a player. Never seen it before and will probably never see it again. It's like it's tailor made for flying characters... Still a DC 10. Maybe you'll get knocked, eventually.
If I'm not mistaken fall damage is 1d6 per 10 feet. If that's the case then a character flying at at level of 15ft above ground isn't in that much danger. That means if they did fall they'd be taking 1d6 fall damage and if you REALLY have to be petty about it then that would be 2d6 at max. The average damage there being 7 damage. Now if you are in the business of cheesing flying characters, they will learn real quick that this is the sweet spot of where to be to avoid any real damage punishment.
You might say that this is really risky at low levels and I would say DUHH. You could die at level one to being spit on by a llama my guy. However, this will be only after your speed reaches zero or after you are knocked prone. If the net result of that is 7 damage the you might as well just shoot at them or throw a rock or something.
Additionally, as you move up the levels this amount of damage is negligible
Lastly, this only solves a part of the problem. It can only really be applied to combat. Anything else and it generally doesn't work
📒Use ranged weapons Oh nah! It's not that simple.
Firstly let's recognize that as of last year only about a third of the monsters in the monster manual and the additional books have ranged options. And for most of them that do, the ranged options are weaker.
Now I know what you're saying: but the DM should snap his magic God of creation fingers to give almost every monster and enemy a longbow, and that the terrasque should magically have access to infinite massive boulders to throw with the exact same pdr as his whopping five melee attacks.
This effects everyone, not just the flying character. The reason so few monsters have decent ranged options is to make them come close and pose a threat personally. To solve this problem, a lot of enemies would need their ranged options added or buffed and they would have to be strong enough to he worth it -- otherwise it's mathematically easier to just jump the characters allies.
Even worse is if we actually give the enemies these buffs. Now all the sudden melee Martial builds are even more garbage than they already are. If ranged attacks have no mathematical opportunity cost to use, there is no reason for enemies to risk hp and such to come into close range.
Do you know who doesn't need melee viability? Casters. BOOM! You've literally made caster comparatively more powerful. most spells are ranged anyway, and some of those ranges are huge even without spell sniper. They probably don't care that much.
The worst issue here is that we now expect the DM to do EVEN MORE work than he already has. This will be one of many excuses to add to the workload of the DM. it certainly won't be the last in this campaign. The goal of running the game isn't just to make a good experience. It's also about doing that without breaking your back needlessly. DMs don't always need to be coached on the million and one ways they can solve a problem. The just need less problems.
📒 weather
Yes. This is an incredible solution that makes sense and isn't hard implemented. I actually love this one except for two issues. Firstly, it's extremely circumstantial. It can't be bad weather all the time, unless you set it up in a really believable way. Additionally, it doesn't work indoors or in caves unless you to some real bending over backwards. For what it's worth though it's a good and easy solution when it applies... Unless you make it subject to an easy save.
📒 Don't ignore strength
This actually helps the issue, however it's not a magic cure all. It also reopens the dialogue on why people ignore strength to begin with. Probably because it... Makes the game more complicated. Still though I think it helps to prevent the flyer from using strength based abilities or carrying things. If he isn't doing much of that, or if he's a caster or has a back like or caravan it largely doesn't matter.
Whole we're on the subject, pray the flying character isn't a caster. Even if you think neither is overpowered, putting two nearly overpowered qualities together won't end in something balanced.
📒But horses are equally useful.
You kiss you mother with that lying mouth? majority of players don't even use horses for obvious reasons. Barely any hp, can't attack on the same turn. Goodness forbid the horse has to make any form of save. Any combat involving a horse of non boss monster variety results in the horse being the first to go down. really easy way to depower an enemy. Where as flying characters can fly until zero hp, a player with a horse only has it until it dies. And that bad boy doesn't respawn like in a video game. And please don't pretend that land travel at high speeds is equally as useful as flying. It is obviously terrain dependant, where a flying person can avoid ground bound obstacles, horsey boy has to go around them, spending however much movement is required. Ground bound traps effect a horse as well. How well can your horse climb? A flying character has perfect climbing skills... Because they are immune to having to do it! Can your horsey boi swim across a surface of water to get to the other side? Probably not better than my wings that can fly across.
📒 Familiars are equally useful
Firstly it's not the same. Maybe nerf those too? Classic example of something many DMs find tedious to work around. Not absolute in it's power, but it is incredibly annoying on a great deal of fronts. Naming some other thing that gets under peoples skin doesn't make them both less problematic. Moreover, flying is still easily worse.
📒 It only solves problems for one character
What ever the hell that means. People behave as if this wasn't immediately apparent. As if other players not having it magically negates it's usefulness? If only one player is playing a class that this overpowered, does that magically discredit it's lack of balance. Why is this argument exclusively used for flying?
Moreover, players not being able to be hit by some things will just put more pressure on those who can.
This also brings up an entirely separate problem that compounds with it. Some players agency is actually too high. That sounds crazy I no know, but many players -- specifically casters -- have so much utility, damage potential, social interaction spells and whatever else, that they can basically just run off on their own and do whatever unchecked. I've seen plenty of occurances of caster players just ditching the rest of the party to do solo mumbo jumbo, solving every problem they come across by snapping their fingers to cast a spell. Fly makes this worse because that's a whole level three spell for free, and increases their incentive to do so because it's costless and doesn't need concentration. Even on a Martial build it further incentives people to go off on their own -- especially if the other players can't follow anyway. People think that the flying player is just going to stand around like an NPC or only go somewhere if the others can follow, when in reality they will fully utilize that moment to become a main character.
📒Narrow spaces People use these arguments all the time, and in theory they make sense. However there aren't mechanics for this. There is no listed wingspan in any flying race. That's a recipe for debate. Because if a player who really, really wants to fly(aka every character that has flight) sees you making these excuses that don't exist in the game then their patience for that will be very very limited.
📒Low ac, can't wear good armor
This has always been funny as an argument. Like heavy armor is just the bestest thing to have graced the table. But it's simply not. Not the best but remember in most cases you will literally be immune to melee, which gives you an incredible EFFECTIVE increase to ac if you stop to think about it. If you are a caster then this is worse. My guy the idea of casters being squishy has always been a lie anyway. Some of them already get decent armor options independent of heavy armor. Casters also get mage armor and shield, and misty step. Their effective ac is great if they are slightly prepared. Add ranged attacks to both of these and you are in a stupendous spot.
📒 All combat takes place indoors or underground.
This is actually categorically untrue. In my personal experience this is actually the opposite. However this is something that ultimately varies tremendously and is therefore not a valid solution. Sometimes it will be that way and sometimes it won't. Moreover, it's not as off all indoors encounter happen just below ceiling level. If the ceiling is 15 feet up fliers can reliably just effectively hang out on the ceiling. And if not, just staying above the space directly behind an ally solves this issue. If the ceiling is lower than 10 feet then this may actually be countered, but it's not a given that it will be.
Not ever indoor or cave dungeon is narrow and cramped. In my experience there have been plenty of open and sprawling spots because worrying about positioning is a massive headache.
I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that combat is not necessarily the main issue with flying.
📒Casters counter them 1. Casters counter everyone, assuming they have the proper spells. 2. Casting technically isn't that common. 3. Okay, so now nearly all of my encounters must have casters? Often many encounters are centered around circumstance that causes the creatures and their conditions to vary wildly. Now I have to ignore all that just to challenge this one player?
📒 Don't challenge them. Just let them be overpowered.
This has always been silly. Even in a game where players basically demand to be overpowered, this isn't always as universally good as it sounds. I can prove it too... Because all forms of game balance in dnd and otherwise assume this isn't the case. So why are we changing our minds now. Seriously, a game almost entirely designed around combat and exploration, and both of those things are held up by bubblegum and boxtape? Not memorable. Might be fun cheesing the first dozen encounters or puzzles but eventually there will not be anything gained from it. Moreover, not every player even wants that! It might just be one out of four or six.
Moreover I feel like catering to this idea too much is deceptively toxic. Wanting to be powerful is not the same thing as not having a challenge. If a player wants to be strong with zero challenge then that player is low-key being sort is spineless. Play another game, or accept that you might have to think about your actions and your strategies to at least some extent. I run the type of game that if you at least have two braincells and use them you will probably be fine. Only players that have failed at my table or the ones that want excessive handouts. And it's arguments like these that sort of out people for not really wanting to underact with the came. Just circumnavigate it.
📒 This is only a problem at low levels
Also a lie. People say that because wizards get to use the fly spell at level 5 then that means natural flight is only overpowered until they get to do it. Except that's not really how it works.
Casters get the fly SPELL. It takes one level three spell slot minimum, same as fireball. Flying races don't spend any spell slots. Their fuel economy is unrivaled.
Casters get it for ten minutes. Flying races get it literally forever. Their endurance is unparalleled.
Casters have to use their concentration on the spell, and if they get hit they risk losing it just from taking damage. Flying races use no additional action economy, and don't risk falling just from taking damage. They are da biggest bird.
But let's be frank. What is overpowered is not determined based purely on itself. Often times, a specific combination of abilities is what makes it overpowered.
As you know, casters are extremely powerful. Some of them also don't use medium or heavy armor anyway. So there is already synergy here. Most casters have an overwhelming abundance or ranged moves to use. Sounds like it would be useful for something that rarely has adjacent enemies.
Now, nevermind the fact that flying as a racial trait is stronger that having it as a 3rd level spell. But! What if the already unnecessarily powerful wizards chooses the be a flying race? That would mean that they have an infinite 3rd level spell, resoursless, and they can use it to solves problems and avoid damage (both things that their spell list is designed to do) WITHOUT USING SPELL SLOTS OR CONCENTRATION. That's right, that means they can cast another concentration spell, effectively casting two concentration spells at once. There will never be an opportunity cost or major risk to casting fly again.
Wizards normally don't during battle because it costs a 3rd level slot and getting hit might mean you lose it anyway. These are now no longer issues, on top of casting a whole nother spell of concentration if need be.
Now, the overpowered option is even more overpowered.
📒 "Well, I have flying in my party and it's not overpowered because [DM put in significant extra effort adding in a bunch of stuff to stop if from being a solution to every problem]"
This is pretty much an admission that it's overpowered. If I have to warp the entirety of encounter design, level design, and puzzles to account for flying, it's classically overpowered. This is what we call a centralizing force. Generally speaking, features or abilities in a game that overly centralize the meta around stopping them are explicitly overpowered. This is actually the perfect example of a centralizing force in DND. You don't have to be omnipotent to be overpowered. Just excessively more overpowered than you need to be. Having counters is not disproof of being overpowered.
Additionally, anything that drastically expands my work load is overpowered. Deal with it, because I sure won't.
📒We play for fun at my table
You play for DM headaches more like it. We can have fun without breaking the DMs back. Stop advocating for the players so much that you disrespect the DM position
📒Yeah? Well I'm a DM and I have no issues with doing the work. Other DMs are just laszy!
You are an exception. Just because we can do the work doesn't mean we think it's worth it. I am absolutely meticulous enough to run this game. But largely I just don't think it's worth it. And most don't either. That's why there are so few DMs. Because people wag their fingers at the DMs that are reluctant to break their back over everything little ability or spell that the game would be perfectly fine without, the game as a whole suffers.
A few more things to remember:
📘 Your dm is probably in denial if he says this isn't an issue
This happens all the time in my experience. A session could actively be going up in flames and the DM or the player producing the issue will be shrugging their shoulders pretending nothing went wrong. I've seen games reached a screeching halt and be discontinued because of how difficult the players or their abilities were to handle, only to have the DM refuse to acknowledge that, or deny that there mishandling had any effect in the situation. Then I watch them make a new campaign and do it again.
📘Your dm is probably bending over backwards solving the problem. So if you don't encounter this problem, then this is why.
📘 People refuse to consider the amount of additional work for the DM. Even DMs have been conditioned the think this way. This is stupid, and the primary reason we have a DM shortage as it is now.
📘The worst issue here is that this ability seems to interrupt some specific DM styles more than others. This leads to DMs that aren't specifically having their styles countered will not take the issue as seriously. Just like how a DM who wants an adventure designed around a special plague will he annoyed when the paladin starts slapping key characters with lay on hands instead of going to find the plot hook mcguffin or negotiating for a cure.
TLDR: Flying is busted, and the DMs well-being is objectively more valuable than this measly ability. Remove one to maintain the other.
Edit: I love how people say "just ban it and be done with it" like people haven't been cooked and chastised for doing that for years on this sub. Like if you're out of arguments then say so LMAO.

I recall a few years ago making a bolognese sauce (or so I recall it being) and the recipe asked a for a lot of sugar. Like a full cup of sugar. As far as I remember , it was a recording of a Sicilian grandma making an original recipe. It was really good! However, now that I Google recipes, none of them ask for sugar at all. What am I thinking about?

In Part Two, Will Ospreay received his crowning moment at a broken Kazuchika Okada's expense, relieving him of his duties as IWGP World Heavyweight Champion and opening his doors to further bloodshed between CHAOS and Takeover. Proceeding to run through New Japan's elite, he took down Kenny Omega, Katsuyori Shibata, and Zack Sabre Jr. in one fell swoop, only for his dream of main eventing Wrestle Kingdom as champion to be crushed by one Shingo Takagi. Now, though the Dragon may be the titleholder, all is far from well in his den. Between Los Ingobernables de Japon in-fighting with G1 Climax 33 Winner Tetsuya Naito and PAC stealing his belt, he has much to address moving forwards.
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Dynamite (November 1, 2023)
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After shockingly robbing Shingo Takagi of his title, PAC interrupts mid-show, belt slung over his shoulder, scowl on his face. He rants about how ever since joining AEW, he’s been disrespected and overlooked, not even being booked for half a year after losing the AEW World Trios Championship, instead having to source work in NJPW with the G1 to finally pop back on the radar. Well now, he’s no longer sitting around in wait for others to give him opportunities. He’s taking them by force. Seeing as he beat Tetsuya Naito in the G1 yet Tetsuya’s been confirmed for WK’s main event without even defending his case against him, he’s decided he’s going to enter the match through his own means. He wants Shingo for the title! For his title. And until he gets his match, he’s not returning the strap.
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Collision (November 4, 2023)
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PAC vs CIMA
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With PAC and Shingo’s obvious connection to Dragongate, The Bastard wrestles an exhibition match against one of the standout names who made his name there, CIMA! Tied to the early days of AEW’s legacy, the veteran reminds the world of his immense talent here, wrestling a very DG-style high-speed match, PAC matching him every step of the way. Though he gives him a solid fight, a Brutaliser cuts things mercifully short, PAC keeping it in until after the bell!
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PAC def. CIMA (10:05)
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PAC briefly pausing to snatch up the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship and raise it over his head, before going back to stomping out CIMA… HE’S INTERRUPTED BY SHINGO’S MUSIC!!! Takagi bolting out, the Black Arrow cuts his losses and flees, leaving the belt behind as Shingo checks on CIMA, hissing with anger. Reclaiming his belt, he tells PAC he’s on!
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Full Gear (November 12, 2023)
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs PAC - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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PAC’s first match outside WWE pitting him against Shingo in tag team action in Takagi’s final matches with Dragongate before signing with NJPW, they finally cross paths again in singles action for the first time since 2011, the Dragon having won all 3 past encounters. Two of the most intense wrestlers around, there’s no shortage of aggression between the two, Takagi raring for revenge on PAC for stealing his moment, and PAC simply wanting to ruin everyone’s lives for the betterment of his own.
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Tearing into each other for the better part of half an hour, PAC is absolutely feral here, not letting this rare opportunity go to waste one bit, giving the champion all sorts of hell. Shingo, seeing some Ospreay in the Bastard, gives him the same respect he does his toughest rival, though the comparison only sets PAC off further, teasing introducing the title belt itself into the match, only to spike Shingo with a Tornado DDT off the distraction! Nailing the BLACK ARROW on the Dragon, he hooks the leg! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Or is it? PAC thinks he’s won the title, elated, only to turn around to the referee pointing on Shingo’s leg on the ropes! It’s Neville/Rollins all over again! If PAC was thought to have lost it so far, the depths he reaches at this point are undefinable, nailing every last trick in the book he knows before wrenching in THE BRUTALISER! Wanting to submit Shingo like he did CIMA, he puts him on the brink of passing out, but unlike the Flower of Evil, Takagi’s simply too strong for PAC, managing to shake him off, before eventually nailing the LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Shingo Takagi (c) def. PAC to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (25:13)
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Though PAC lost at Full Gear, by the manner which he eyes Shingo and his title when leaving the ring, it’s clear matters are not yet over between them. However, for now, Takagi has the remaining month until January 4 to focus on. With Naito winning at Power Struggle in a tag match pitting him and Hiromu against Ospreay and Akira, El Ingobernable has all the momentum he needs behind him, though what lies between now and Tokyo Dome surprises him.
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With Dragongate’s 20th Year Anniversary celebrations coming up, one of the most heated rivalries in the company’s history is revisited when Shingo’s called out by BxB Hulk! Their last interaction seeing them team up in the penultimate match of DG’s final big show of 2022 to great success in a surprise return by Takagi, Hulk now wants a shot at beating Shingo exactly one year later, seeing the title on his shoulder as a means of proving himself better than Takagi’s best version ever.
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Naturally accepting an opportunity to knock Hulk’s head off once more, the blockbuster main event is set for The Final Gate, but before then, Hulk invites him and Naito to a preview tag match, knowing he can milk the uncomfortable setting and watch Shingo suffer by it. Though not pleased at the thought, Takagi does inform Tetsuya, who agrees to help him, better together than at each other’s throats.
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Dragongate The Gate of Origin (December 10, 2023)
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi & Tetsuya Naito) vs GOLD CLASS (BxB Hulk & Ben-K)
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Three of DG’s greats and one NJPW pillar all in the same ring, it’s as blockbuster a match as can be, the four megastars putting on a thrilling showcase of their talents, the beloved Shingo especially getting the spotlight to Naito’s subtle annoyance, no longer the most popular man in the building. Nonetheless, with a crucial match less than one month away, LIJ are at their best even with their issues, the Destino/Pumping Bomber combo to Ben-K getting the win, though Naito making a point to be the one making the cover as Shingo is left to lock eyes with Hulk.
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Los Ingobernables de Japon def. GOLD CLASS (21:35)
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Dragongate The Final Gate (December 17, 2023)
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Shingo Takagi vs BxB Hulk XIV
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A history built on friendship, betrayal, and subsequent hatred, the arrogant detestable Shingo and the adored underdog Hulk have long grown since their last match 5 years ago, Takagi currently his company’s frontman and BxB still hanging on in his 40’s for DG. With Shingo having never beaten Hulk with a World Title over his shoulder, BxB having done so twice to him, The Dragon channels every last fiery breath of his into silencing his career rival for good, knocking Hulk around the arena and into the ring post like the old days, even playing it heelish at points, ever the superstar Hulk always wished to be. And after a thoroughly personal trip down memory lane, 20 years of DG tip in favour of the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, who puts Hulk down for good! In a show of respect after the match, Takagi bows to Hulk, entrusting the people to him as he turns his attention back to his new home.
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Shingo Takagi def. BxB Hulk (26:11)
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Road To Tokyo Dome - Night Two (December 23, 2023)
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Also on the tour:
CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii) (c) vs United Empire (Will Ospreay, Great-O-Khan, Aaron Henare) - NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Yota Tsuji & Titan) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI)
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One final stop on the road to Wrestle Kingdom, and it’s arguably the most important one yet. With Shingo and Naito’s divide over leadership growing only stronger by the minute, what started as being mediated by LIJ has now turned into them being forced to pick sides against their wills. Takagi’s grown tired of existing in Naito’s shadow despite holding the title, believing he’s more cut out to lead them, receiving support from his fellow newer class of LIJ blood, Yota Tsuji, as well as another recent recruit in Titan. However, Naito’s still the familia’s franchise to the group’s OGs, Hiromu and BUSHI letting loyalty speak for itself by siding with their leader in his bid to end his 3-year chase for the title currently around Takagi’s waist. Battlelines drawn, the blockbuster showdown closes out the Road To Tokyo Dome tour!
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Brute force colliding with agility, the familial bond between LIJ only continues to be blurred as Shingo and Naito bark out orders to their respective teammates, directing traffic in this psychological warfare grown physical. It’s a slow build of the tempo until the crescendo of Shingo and Naito finally touching for the first time since the G1 Finals is reached, Tetsuya leaning heavily on his mind games whilst Takagi simply throws mean bombs, adamant to finally prove he’s better than his leader. Not overexposing their strategies too much, the match ultimately sees Naito nail Titan with the Destino to win, once more having the last laugh over Shingo!
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Tetsuya Naito, Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI) def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Yota Tsuji & Titan) (17:20)
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In a final press conference heading into Wrestle Kingdom 18, Takagi and Naito share their thoughts on the upcoming match. Shingo declares that NJPW is no longer about Tetsuya, who squandered countless valuable opportunities between Takagi losing and regaining the title, those matches proving his days are over. He may not be the archetype Okada is, he may not be the fan favourite Naito is, he may not be the international star Ospreay is, but damn it, he doesn’t care for any of that. He's walking into New Japan’s biggest show of the year as champion, and he’s walking out of it as champion, simple as.
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As for Naito, he muses that this could very well be his last moment in the Sun, the result of the match dictating the direction his career goes. Either he wins and reclaims his spot atop NJPW, getting to have the run the pandemic robbed him of. Or he loses on the grandest stage and leaves with nothing… but that’s not happening. He’s beaten Shingo both times they’ve fought and he doesn’t plan on dropping the third. But that’s not just because the title’s on the line. It’s the topic Shingo’s smartly chosen to avoid speaking on. He’d be a fool to think his spot isn’t under threat. EVIL betrayed him. SANADA did too. There’s nothing stopping Shingo from doing it either… so it’s up to him to chop down the Hydra before the issue persists. He loves LIJ and he loves Shingo, but this moment is about him and everything he’s sacrificed, so he asks Takagi to not take it to heart when Naito takes what’s long overdue his.
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Wrestle Kingdom 18 (January 4, 2024)
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Also on the show:
NEVER Openweight Championship: Jeff Cobb (c) vs Ren Narita
NJPW World Television Championship: Zack Sabre Jr. (c) vs Taichi
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: KUSHIDA (c) vs Mike Bailey
PAC vs Hiromu Takahashi
IWGP Tag Team Championship: Aussie Open (c) vs TMDK
IWGP United States Championship: Katsuyori Shibata (c) vs Tomohiro Ishii
Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Will Ospreay
Kazuchika Okada vs Kaito Kiyomiya III
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs Tetsuya Naito III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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As blockbuster as it gets on the Tokyo Dome stage, two LIJ members close out the night for the very first time in Naito’s home city! Two men that go back to their days together in high school, none of that matters now, the title all they care about. Dressed to the nines, Naito emerges from a helicopter like a true Ingobernable, sporting a black suit to represent his Dark Ace persona, an entire army of LIJ supporters backing him from the stage.
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Before their first match, Naito declared he wanted to face a Shingo that could feasibly take LIJ from him and now more than ever he’s going to get it, but perhaps should be careful what he wishes for. Winning their past two matches, all he needs to do is replicate the feat one more time. Speak of the champ, Takagi emerges from the mouth of a Dragon’s lair, fireballs rising along the stage, Shingo in an all red regal fit, ready to spill blood. Losing to Okada two years ago when he was in this position, it’s about redemption for him and proving to his leader the future of LIJ is now, old man.
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Once Naito slowly strips down out of his suit and Shingo sheds his skin, handing over the strap, the January 4 main event gets underway! It’s typical Naito behaviour from the jump, stalling for the opening minute as both men absorb the feel of the cheering crowd, split down the middle between the ways LIJ could go. Shingo’s stoic whilst Tetsuya smirks, sending some words Takagi’s way, before raising the LIJ fist! But Shingo rocks him with a jab!
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A quick feeling out process sees Shingo gain the momentary upper hand off a rough Shoulder Tackle, only to turn into a Flying Forearm Smash from Naito! Tetsuya goes wild on Takagi with blows, the Dragon simply absorbing them, shaking them off and letting out a roar after another Shoulder Tackle! But Naito skids off the mat this time and recovers into his Tranquilo Pose instead, drawing the ire of Takagi!
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Shingo smacks him with a boot to the cheek, backing Naito into the corner where he goes ham with piston strikes to the body, a CORNER BOMBER whiplashing Naito’s head against the turnbuckle! Swiping out the legs, he mocks Naito’s “Abre Los Ojos” taunt, going for Tetsuya’s COMBINACION CABRON! Naito has it scouted however, stopping the closing Mule Kick by snapping Takagi against the top rope with a SWINGING NECKBREAKER! TORNADO DDT crunches him on his dome, Shingo kicking out at 2!
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Firing up, Takagi demands for more, Naito shrugging as he teases another Flying Forearm Smash, only to slip behind into the POLVO DE ESTRELLA COVER! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Shingo doesn’t even have time to chew Naito out for doing the complete opposite as asked, instantly being rolled into a SICK DRAGON SUPLEX ON THE DRAGON! Takagi clutches his neck as Naito grins at him, now following up with a COMBINACION CABRON of his own, telling Shingo not to steal if he can’t take the fire himself!
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Takagi dazed, Naito scales up top for a MISSILE DROPKICK- TAKAGI TURNS HIM INSIDE-OUT MIDAIR WITH A PUMPING BOMBER!!! NOSHIGAMI! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! Battering him with a Pumping Combo, chops and punches blister and bruise Tetsuya’s body, before a HIGH-ANGLE GERMAN DROPS HIM ON HIS NECK!!! Shingo looks satisfied with himself as he sits in his cross-legged pose… BUT NAITO RISES UP BEHIND HIM!
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Rolling Wheel Kick to the back of the head snaps Takagi out of dream state as Tetsuya rallies with a series of forearms, before testing his luck with a PUMPING BOMBER OF HIS OWN! SHINGO SHRUGS IT OFF, PISSED! Realising he messed up, Naito tries to escape the Dragon’s wrath, but Shingo grabs him by the trunks to pull him back into a MADE IN JAPAN attempt! Tetsuya frantically fights free with back elbows to the neck, ONLY TO BE SPUN AROUND INTO A DRAGON SOUL LARIAT, NAITO ROCKED TO HIS CORE!
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Naito collapsing outside, a TOPE CON HILO wipes him out! Shingo ragdolls his stablemate about ringside, hurling him from post-to-pillar, though a GUARDRAIL POWERBOMB is countered into a NECKBREAKER ON THE STEEL! ESPERANZA ON THE FLOOR BY NAITO! Shingo nursing the neck, Naito tosses him in and recovers for a moment, before heading up top, CONNECTING THE MISSILE DROPKICK! AND A GLORIA!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Shingo in the drop zone, Naito teases the RUNNING DESTINO, but Takagi catches him, TRYING FOR A FIRE THUNDER DRIVER!!! Tetsuya scrabbles like a cat falling out a tree, whacking Shingo in the nose with his boot to free himself! A stiff forearm connects with the damaged neck, but as Naito goes for a German, Takagi beats it and folds him with a SAITO SUPLEX! LEGEND FALCONRY CONNECTS!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NAITO SURVIVES!!!
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Tetsuya in a dream state, Shingo clubs him with clotheslines, a YUKON LARIAT cleaning him off his feet! Grabbing him by the scruff, Takagi pulls him up… HOOKING AN STO, WANTING EVERYTHING IS EVIL!!! His cheeky smirk is wiped off by an EYE RAKE though, Naito furiously exploding with punches and a mouthful of SPIT in Shingo’s face, showing what he thinks of LIJ’s first traitor!
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Knocking Shingo down with his own lariat, he sets up a SWING DESTINO, but Takagi grabs his leg! Naito tries to fight him off, though Shingo’s too powerful, yanking him into a draped position in the ropes! Heading to the adjacent corner, he climbs as Naito pulls himself up in hopes of freeing himself… COAST-TO-COAST BOMBER NAILS NAITO!!! MADE IN JAPAN!!! ONE! TWO! THR-ANOTHER CLOSE CALL!!!
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Shingo roars, setting up the LAST OF THE DRAGON- NAITO COUNTERS INTO A SURPRISE DESTINO!!! Takagi crashing on the bad neck, he’s jelly-legged as Tetsuya bumrushes him with forearms, though as he kneels to counter another DESTINO, Naito dumps him with a GERMAN INSTEAD! AND A RUNNING DESTINOOOOOOOOO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SHINGO GETS THE SHOULDER UP!!! Naito cracks Takagi with headbutts, but it only angers the bull, who launches one back despite the neck!
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Tetsuya winces and smirks through the pain, knowing this hurts Shingo more than him, the Dragon remaining prideful with each counter headbutt, UNTIL A POISONED FRANKENSTEINER SPIKES HIM! SKULL END!!! Naito’s embracing the trauma! Keeping it in deep for a few moments as Takagi struggles, Tetsuya promptly lets go and looks at the turnbuckles… RAISING HIS FIST TO THE SKY, HE WANTS A STARDUST PRESS!!! Shades of his matches with Okada in the Dome, Naito goes for the Hail Mary… IT MISSES!!! TAKAGI GETS HIM UP FOR A LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! HE FINALLY HITS IT AFTER FAILING BOTH PAST MATCHES!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Takagi’s taken aback, certain it was the piece of the equation he’d been missing. Angered, he knocks his own brutal forearms into Naito’s non-existent neck, an AXE BOMBER KNOCKING HIM DOWN! Naito gasping for air, a SICKENING DRAGON SOUL LARIAT follows! Now staggered himself, he throws wild, yet feeble shots, missing Shingo each time as he pops up his foe. Looking him dead in the eyes, Shingo hits off the ropes once, twice, thrice… PUMPING BOMBERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Scooping him up for another LAST OF THE DRAGON… NAITO COUNTERS WITH A VALENTIA!!!
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Both men down, Tokyo goes nuts as they slowly pull themselves up using each other, butting heads! Trading blows again, a Dragon Soul rocks Naito, BUT HE THROWS ONE BACK! AND A FOREARM! A HEADBUTT! Naito runs the ropes, but so does Shingo, once, twice, thrice, TORNADO DD- PUMPING BOMBER!!! Grabbing the wrist from behind, TAKAGI WANTS THE RIPCORD BOMBER!!! BUT NAITO WITH A DESTINOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Now Naito’s in shock, mere inches from the win! Seeing his hometown on their feet for him, new life rushes through him, nodding to himself as he sets up again the DESTINO! Shingo throws his body weight forwards though, both men collapsing to the apron! Trading punches, it’s the HEADBUTT which subdues Takagi, his neck in sheer agony! AND NOW NAITO WANTS THE APRON DESTINO INSTEAD… SHINGO SHOVES HIM OFF! APRON CANADIAN DESTROYER!!! REVENGE FOR THE 2019 G1!!!
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Naito’s eyes are glazed over, all the years of abuse to his own neck catching up to him! Takagi hoists him up, seating him on the turnbuckle, before raising his own fist skywards! Meeting Tetsuya up there, who gives one last fight with forearms to the neck, a DRAGON SOUL silences him! Grabbing the wrist, Shingo picks him up on top of the world… STAY DREAM!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Shingo Takagi (c) def. Tetsuya Naito to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (40:40)
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It’s over. Once more, Naito’s championship dreams have been shattered into stardust as Takagi finally scores the win that’s eluded him throughout his NJPW run! Tokyo’s a stunned silence as they watch Shingo be handed his title, holding his hand high as Tetsuya lays still on the mat. Is Naito truly finished? LIJ pour out, Hiromu and BUSHI rushing to check on the Stardust Genius, while Yota and Titan check on Takagi as he suddenly stumbles back into the corner, clutching his neck.
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As Naito’s helped to his feet, there’s a standstill between the two halves of LIJ as they stare each other down, intensity stemming from Shingo and Naito. Takagi pushes Yota and Titan aside, stepping forward whilst nursing his neck, Naito doing the same, butting heads with the Dragon again! …But then a smirk appears on Naito’s face, raising high the LIJ fist! And Shingo smirks back, raising his own to meet it! AND THEY EMBRACE!
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What was thought to be the war that could fracture LIJ in half forever has only brought its two strongest members closest together! Grabbing a mic, Naito congratulates Shingo for finally beating him. He knew this day would eventually come, and he couldn’t be prouder of his friend. Though this loss stings him, the journey is never over him, and rest assured, he’ll be coming back for the throne, rested and healthy again, Naito winking at Takagi as he says so, who reciprocates with an inviting grin.
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But right now is not about him. In fact, he may not even be long for the wrestling world with the condition his neck and knees are in. That’s why he’d like to make an announcement. From henceforth, he’s no longer the sole leader of LIJ. He wants Shingo to lead beside him! Takagi’s stunned by the offer, but Naito insists, explaining that though EVIL and SANADA were corrupted by greed for power, it was never about that to him. LIJ is his family, and he only wants what’s best for them. If that means Takagi calling the shots when he’s unable to, he’ll do that. Shingo gives him a bow of acceptance!
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LIJ all smiles, united stronger than ever, Naito beckons them all to the centre of the ring, before gesturing to Takagi to cement his leadership by doing the roll-call! Takagi nodding, he accepts the mic from him and raises his fist to the sky as everyone follows… but right as he’s about to speak, the crowd bursts into gasps which catches Shingo’s attention, as OUT WALKS PAC!!!
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Having hunted down and beaten LIJ members since his loss to Shingo, he snarls as he stalks his way to the ring, LIJ falling into defensive position! Stepping inside, he looks them left to right, scowling at their clenched fists, before raising his mic. He says that ever since he set foot in NJPW at the G1 Climax, he’s been a man possessed with his goal to take what he’s been deprived of. He stomped out Naito, he stole Shingo’s belt, he just beat Hiromu earlier in the night… yet none of that has left him satisfied the way he thought it would. It had him thinking the question – why?
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And then he realised. LIJ isn’t the enemy. They’re misfits, just like him. Oppressed, just like him. He banded together Death Triangle in the face of The Elite, but now, he seeks a far greater position. With contract negotiations having come up, his 5-year AEW deal finally expiring, he’s opted for one that’ll allow him to work both AEW and NJPW, covering his bases so he doesn’t go unbooked anymore. And with these recent matches causing him to gain respect for the Ingobernables and their unrestrained manner of operations, he knows from experience that if you wish to rise to the top in Japan… it’s good to have allies. Tossing his mic aside, PAC RAISES HIS FIST TO THE SKY!
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LIJ’s taken aback by the gesture from the Bastard that’s almost tried to tear them apart in the past months as much as they have themselves… BUT SHINGO RECIPROCATES TO HIS DRAGONGATE BROTHER! AND NOW HIROMU! YOTA! TITAN! BUSHI! AND NAITO!!! Raising his mic back up, Shingo declares “TITAN! BUSHI! TSUJI! HIROMU! NAITO! PAC! Y SHINGO! NOSOTROS… LOS INNNNGOBERRRNAAAABLESSSSSSS DE JA-PON!!!”. Tickertape explodes from the turnbuckles as Tokyo erupts into cheers, LIJ closing the show a united family again!
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New Year Dash!! (January 5, 2024)
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi, Tetsuya Naito, PAC, Yota Tsuji, Hiromu Takahashi, BUSHI) vs Sabre-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr., El Phantasmo, TMDK, El Desperado, Kosei Fujita)
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As usual, the night after Wrestle Kingdom is rife with excitement and new beginnings, and at the centre of it all lies the age-old rivalry between LIJ and Zack Sabre Jr.! Fresh off losing his Television Championship to Taichi after a year-long reign, he immediately sets his sights on the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship, a victory here sure to propel him to the top. And with LIJ finally back to being a cohesive, functioning family again, their redefined chemistry is put up to the test here.
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Batting off the initial concerns of another blow-up, the rebels have never been more in sync than now under Naito and Shingo’s shared guidance, the added element of PAC only further helping than hindering. Still, Sabre-Gun is menacing, a driven Sabre sicking his troops on the opposition like the masterful general he is, yet to his annoyance, the crowd remain enamoured by the Bastard, who taps out Fujita to the Brutaliser as he stares down the Technical Wizard, sending a statement!
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Los Ingobernables de Japon def. Sabre-Gun (18:07)
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Whilst ZSJ throws a fit, promising LIJ they haven’t seen the last of him as he leaves with Sabre-Gun, LIJ raise their fists to the sky with Shingo returning the favour from last night by letting Naito do the roll-call this time, grins all around. That is… until the coin drops. HERE COMES OKADA! Turning to Naito, Shingo gives him the nod that he’s got this sorted, Tetsuya tipping his cap back and taking LIJ away with him to give the two space as the rivals lock eyes.
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Mic in hand, Okada runs down Shingo, calling his reign an insult to NJPW, despising the Dragon’s prideful embracement of his Dragongate past when he should be representing their company. With Okada’s trilogy against Kaito finished in his favour, playtime’s over and the Rainmaker’s come back knocking for his crown, having beaten Shingo in the G1. Shingo, remembering how his last reign ended… accepts! Butting heads with Okada, he warns him he’s even more dangerous now, so he shouldn’t expect to walk away with his gold this time.
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Wrestle Kingdom 18 in Yokohama Arena (January 21, 2024)
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs Kazuchika Okada VI - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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In the past year, Okada’s descent into madness has seen embark on an emerald voyage to kill off any outsider or youngster eyeballing his spot, even brutally exiling members from CHAOS to reshape it into men who fit his regime. Seeing Takagi as low-life scum, he’s adamant to ‘fix’ NJPW again so that his efforts from last year don’t go to waste, knowing the continued deviance LIJ’s control will cause from his ‘purer’ path. Shingo, on the other hand, has been collecting milestones, from finally beating Ospreay for the title, to finally knocking off Naito to affirm his spot at LIJ’s top and win a January 4 main event to redeem his loss two years prior against the man who now stands in his way again, the only natural next bucket list item hence being beating Okada back on the WK stage.
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A gruelling war over New Japan’s vision spans over the next half hour (akin to the classic they’d actually have at New Beginning 2023), Okada mercilessly dumping Shingo over and over again on the neck Naito had loosened up, whilst Takagi holds his own more than he ever has in the past, blistering the Ace with lariats that leave welts all over! The first RAINMAKER hits like a gunshot though, damn near taking Shingo out, yet he keeps fighting through the damaged neck! MADE IN JAPAN has Okada rethinking his decisions to challenge, and a STAY DREAM tease almost gets him!
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A vicious TOMBSTONE drills him on the floor though, sending spasms down from his neck to his limbs, another RAINMAKER pushing him to his last legs! As Okada preps one final one… TAKAGI NAILS HIS OWN RIPCORD BOMBER!!! The FIRE THUNDER DRIVER now has Kazu reeling himself, and a LAST OF THE DRAGON scores a mighty near-fall! OKADA RESPONDS WITH ONE OF HIS OWN, GETTING SHINGO BACK FOR THE RIPCORD!!! Inching closer and closer to the vaunted third Rainmaker, Okada has Shingo’s neck in dire straits with the Money Clip, but as he finally swings… TAKAGI CATCHES IT! ANOTHER LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
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Shingo Takagi (c) def. Kazuchika Okada to retain the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (32:07)
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Despite the odds stacked against him, Shingo’s managed to tie his score against Okada, 3-3, avenging his WK heartbreak from 2022, whilst Kazu’s grip on New Japan continues to falter, the ungovernables wrecking his ideal world. Refusing to let them slip however, LIJ and CHAOS continue to feud into the New Beginning tour, where a massive tag is set up pitting Shingo & Naito against Okada & Tanahashi!
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​
The New Beginning in Sapporo - Night Two (January 28, 2024)
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Also on the tour:
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship: CHAOS (SHO & Taiji Ishimori) (c) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI)
Katsuyori Shibata (c) vs KENTA - IWGP United States Championship
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Los Ingobernables de Japon (Shingo Takagi & Tetsuya Naito) vs CHAOS (Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kazuchika Okada)
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With Hiromu & BUSHI dethroning SHO & Taiji last night, matters are even more tense now in the power struggle between the stables. Endless shared history between these four men, it clearly shows with the animosity they greet each other with, Takagi and Okada continuing their war from Yokohama as Naito continues to drift further every day from the man he used to resemble in Tanahashi.
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Tetsuya manages to get some well-earned revenge against the man who withheld the World Title from him throughout 2022, Okada, a Destino/Bomber showing Naito and Takagi to be fully in tune again, but when a Twist and Shout to Shingo’s neck takes him out, it’s down to Naito and Tanahashi again! Tetsuya trying to recover some momentum to speed up his rise back to challenging Shingo, he gives Hiroshi his all, though the Dragon Screws prove too much for his bad knees, a TEXAS CLOVERLEAF submitting him!
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CHAOS def. Los Ingobernables de Japon (21:15)
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​
With Tanahashi’s win over the LIJ leader duo, he calls out Shingo in a post-show interview, saying it’s been 3 years since he’s had a chance to challenge for the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship, his last match notably enough coming against Shingo himself. He’s not getting any younger as it seems and he wants nothing more than one last run at the top… so for the sake of sparing the company he broke his back for the past two decades from LIJ’s undesirable direction, he wishes to bring gold back to CHAOS! Record level 1-1 between the two, Takagi fearlessly accepts, setting up a blockbuster showdown for Osaka!
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The New Beginning in Osaka (February 10, 2024)
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Also on the show:
KUSHIDA (c) vs YOH - IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship
TMDK (c) vs Los Ingobernables de Japon (PAC & Yota Tsuji) - IWGP Tag Team Championship
Los Ingobernables de Japon (Hiromu Takahashi & BUSHI) (c) vs CHAOS (SHO & Taiji Ishimori) vs SixorNine (Master Wato & Ryusuke Taguchi) - IWGP Junior Tag Team Championship
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Shingo Takagi (c) vs Hiroshi Tanahashi III - IWGP World Heavyweight Championship
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3 years ago on the New Beginning tour, Shingo and Tanahashi met for the first time, the Ace of the Universe taking the NEVER Openweight Championship from him, before Takagi returned the favour 6 months later, keeping the World Title from Hiroshi. Now, in a war of ideologies, they settle the score! Even at 47, Tana’s flamboyant as ever in his entrance, turning back the clocks with a full rockstar entrance as women swoon over the Japanese God. Shingo’s comparatively humble in his entrance, glaring taped-up neck keeping his head bowed, yet nostrils flaring, ready for battle.
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It's a classic Tanahashi start, slapping on the headlock to grind down his foe, only now it means that much more with the condition of Shingo’s neck. As Hiroshi reaches for Takagi’s tape, Shingo butts into his chest with his shoulder to shove him off and fires up a Pumping Combo! Chop, punch, chop, punch, chop, punc- DRAGON-STYLE HARITE FROM TANA KNOCKS THE TASTE OUT OF SHINGO’S MOUTH! Takagi doubled over, Hiroshi hammers elbows into his exposed neck, a Low Dropkick cutting him down and a Neckbreaker flooring him for 2!
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Heading to the middle rope, a SOMERSAULT SENTON BOMB is evaded, Tana crashing on his back! Now Shingo blasts him with the ground and pound! A Knee Drop sits Hiroshi up, before a SLIDING D knocks him back down for 2! Whipping Tana into the corner, a CORNER BOMBER heads his way like a missile, but a Big Boot and a HIGH FLY ATTACK cuts him off, before Tana strums the air guitar!
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He grabs the waist, but a Snap DDT stops him, an ORIGINAL FALCONRY from Shingo slamming him down! Beating Tana’s chest like a drum, he guillotines him in the ropes with a PUMPING BREAKER! A Gallon Throw attempt follows, but Tana spins around into a FALL IN LOVE PIN! ONE! TWO! THR-KICK OUT! And before Shingo can do anything, Hiroshi nails the head with a Low Dropkick! HASE-STYLE URANAGE SPIKES HIM ON HIS NECK!!!
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Hurt, Takagi collapses to the outside, prompting Tana to spear the Dragon into the guardrail with a DRAGON ROCKET! Climbing the ropes, Hiroshi measures for a HIGH FLY FLOW- CAUGHT ON SHINGO’S SHOULDERS!!! DEATH VALLEY BOMB ON THE FLOOR!!! The back that once carried NJPW now sears in agony as Takagi rolls him in, a SOL DE JAPON CONNECTING! Smacking a Dragon Soul Lariat off him, a HIGH-ANGLE BELLY-TO-BACK SUPLEX DROPS TANA! ONE! TWO! THR-NO DICE!
​
Loading the Ace of the Universe onto his shoulders, he nails a BUCKLE BOMB… BUT TANA EXPLODES BACK WITH A SLING BLADE!!! Both downed for a moment, Tana beats a Yukon Lariat with a SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Shingo seeing stars, Tana grabs him for another, but Takagi desperately fights him off, ONLY FOR A DARUMA-SHIKI GERMAN SUPLEX TO FLOOR HIM!!! ONE! TWO! THR-SHINGO STAYS IN!
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Tana tries to get a hold of the neck, but Takagi turtles and kicks him away, prompting Tana to secure the leg instead, connecting a DRAGON SCREW! Shingo hobbling to his feet, a TWIST AND SHOUT awaits him! Hiroshi rolls through for seconds, but now Takagi grabs his leg and RETURNS A DRAGON SCREW!!! Tana’s famously bad knees give way, Shingo now with free reign to stomp the chest, before hoisting him into a MICHINOKU DRIVER II! Heading up, he winds up the DIVING BOMBER, but taking too long, Tana cuts him off!
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Beating on Shingo’s exposed neck, he drapes him from the top rope… AND SNAPS HIM INTO A VICIOUS DRAGON SCREW NECK WHIP!!! Takagi’s head damn near popping off, Tana quickly grabs a DRAGON SLEEPER and starts swinging him around Giant Swing style! Slamming him into the mat after 10 rotations, Tana glides up top… NAILING THE HIGH FLY FLOW!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Securing the wrists, Tana goes for a RYUGOYE like last time… TAKAGI CATCHES IT! MADE IN JAPAN!!! Hiroshi smartly rolls away to the ropes before Takagi can cover though, leaving both men to nurse their wounds. Meeting in the middle, they bounce elbows off each other’s skulls, TANA CRACKING SHINGO WITH A HEADBUTT!!! TAKAGI RETURNS ONE, DROPPING HIROSHI!!! Battering the back, he tries for a LAST OF THE DRAGON- SLING BLADE FROM TANA!!!
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As the Pumping Hawk rises, Tana cracks a swift TWIST AND SHOUT, before nailing ANOTHER SLING BLADE!!! Back turned to Takagi, Tanahashi’s confident he’s got him… BUT HE TURNS INTO A PUMPING BOMBER!!! Hiroshi rocked, Shingo hits the ropes a few times, before firing off a PUMPING BOMBER THAT TURNS HIM INSIDE OUT!!! Now grabbing the wrist, he teases the Ripcord variant, but Tana counters with the SLING BLADE!!!
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Returning up top, Tana crashes into Shingo with a STANDING HIGH FLY FLOW!!! Going back up for seconds, he looks over his kingdom… but Takagi grabs his leg! Tana tries kicking him off, but Shingo pulls himself up, trading blows with Hiroshi! He eats a Headbutt to the neck but firms it, wrecking Tana’s back with punches… BEFORE NAILING AN AVALANCHE EXPLODER ’98!!! LAST OF THE DRAGON!!! ONE! TWO! THR-NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
​
Gritting his teeth, Shingo winds the arm, going for a PUMPING BOMBER, but Tana just collapses under! Takagi stomps over to him, only to fall into a SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! THR-TAKAGI KICKS OUT! SLING BLADE!!! Tana attempts a BRAINBUSTER, but the back gives out, letting Takagi fall into the ropes and rebound with a PUMPING BOMBER!!! Securing the Double Hammerlock, he nails a TAKAGI DRIVER ’98!!! ONE! TWO! THR-TANAHASHI WITH A FOOT ON THE ROPES!!!
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Shingo’s at a loss, but in this game of natural progression, he looks to replicate his WK success, smacking Dragon Souls off Tana, before another PUMPING BOMBER flooring him! Dragging him up the ropes with him, he wants the STAY DREAM… but it left his neck exposed, Tana raining down 12-6 elbows on it! Shingo forced to let go, he instead trades forearms with Hiroshi, but a HEADBUTT knocks him down this time into a prone position! Tana in perfect position, HE NAILS THE HIGH FLY FLOW TO THE BACK!!! Rolling Shingo over, Tana heads back up… HIGH FLY FLOW!!! ONE! TWO! THREE!!!
​
Hiroshi Tanahashi def. Shingo Takagi (c) to win the IWGP World Heavyweight Championship (35:36)
​
For the 9th time in his career, Tanahashi’s the World Champion! Shingo’s neck finally crumbling at his hands, the CHAOS regime is back on top! A remarkable reign from the Dragon, but he’s forced back into his cave. As Tana celebrates though, he doesn’t have to wait at all for competition to line up, KATSUYORI SHIBATA’S THEME HITTING! The fellow Three Musketeer losing his US Title earlier on the tour, he’s had a bone to pick with CHAOS for the past year since their exile of the likes of Goto, who have since been in his corner as part of the Takeover faction. The two long-time rivals staring each down, Tana raises his title with a grin, as Shibata returns a murderous look!

Wish List: Teslas below, AA/SS/1S melee below, rare apparel/masks, or Vanguard Scout armor with +Strength/Cavalier
I still need the following Teslas: H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Med/50L/15r,,, Troub/50c/25
I still need the following AA/SS/1S melee: cultist blade,,, gulper smacker
Complete Trade List: (Thank you for your time browsing this huge list!!!)
FIXERS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/25/15v,,, AA/50c/15v,,, AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/50L/25,,, AA/AP/25,,, AA/E/Dur,,, Ari/25/15r,,, Ari/E/15r,,, Ari/E/25,,, B/25/15v,,, B/50L/25,,, BAP/25,,, Exe/25/25,,, Exe/50c/25,,, Exe/AP/25,,, Exe/E/25,,, F/50c/25,,, GouE/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, GS/E/25,,, H/50c/25,,, Jug/50c/25,,, Jug/AP/25,,, Junk/25/15r,,, Junk/50c/15v,,, Junk/50c/25,,, Junk/50L/25,,, Junk/AP/25,,, Junk/E/15v,,, Med/25/25,,, Med/50c/25,,, Med/AP/25,,, Mu/AP/25,,, MS/50c/25,,, MS/AP/25,,, N/AP/25,,, N/E/25,,, Q/25/15r,,, Q/25/15v,,, Q/AP/25,,, St/50c/25,,, St/AP/25,,, St/E/25,,, Su/50c/25,,, Su/AP/25,,, Su/E/25,,, T/50c/25,,, T/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/15v,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/AP/25,,, V/AP/25,,, Z/25/25,,, Z/E/25
HANDMADES: AA/E/15v,,, Junk/25/15r,,, MS/E/25,,, Mu/E/25,,, Mu/50c/25,,, Q/50c/25,,, Q/50vhc/25
HEAVY WEAPONS: AA/25/90 AGL,,, AA/25/15r Cryolator,,, AA/25/90 Harpoon Gun,,, As/25A/90 Fatman,,, As/25/90 Gatling Plasma,,, B/E/Gho 50cal,,, B/25A/90 Cryolator,,, B/50L/90 Cryolator,,, B/25A/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50vhc/90 Missile Launcher,,, B/50L/90 AGL,,, Exe/50c/15r Flamer,,, Exe/25A/90 Gatling Plas,,, Exe/E/25 LMG,,, F/50c/25 Cryolator,,, Q/25/15v LMG,,, Q/50L/90 Minigun,,, TS/25/15r Gatling Gun,,, TS/25/25 LMG,,, TS/E/25 Minigun,,, V/25/15r 50cal,,, V/25A/90 Cryolator,,, V/25/25 Gatling Gun,,, V/50L/90 Harpoon Gun,,, Z/E/90 LMG
MELEE: AA/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, AA/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, AA/40P/1S Gulper Smacker,,, AA/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, AA/50c/15v Power Fist,,, AA/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Ari/SS/1S Shovel,,, Ari/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, As/40P/1S Chainsaw,,, As/40P/1S Drill,,, B/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, B/SS/25 Gulper Smacker,,, B/SS/25 Meat Hook,,, B/SS/1S Power Fist,,, Exe/40P/25 Drill,,, Exe/50c/1S Power Fist,,, Ext/SS/1S Drill,,, F/40P/40 Chainsaw,,, GS/SS/1S Chainsaw,,, I/SS/1S Death Tambo,,, I/SS/1S Golf Club,,, I/SS/1S Super Sledge,,, Junk/SS/1S Assaultron Blade,,, Junk/SS/1S Security Baton,,, Mu/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, MS/SS/1S Shishkebab,,, Su/SS/1S Spear,,, Su/SS/1S Tire Iron,,, Troub/SS/1S Bowie Knife,,, Troub/SS/1S Golf Club,,, V/SS/1S Combat Knife,,, V/SS/1S Deathclaw Gauntlet,,, V/SS/1S Pole Hook,,, V/SS/1S Sledgehammer,,, Z/SS/1S Fire Axe,,, Z/SS/1S Knuckles,,, Z/SS/1S Pipe Wrench
RAILWAYS: AA/50c/25,,, AA/50vhc/25,,, AA/E/15v,,, AA/E/25,,, Ari/25/15r,,, B/50vhc/25,,, B/E/15r,,, B/E/90,,, F/50c/25,,, F/E/25,,, GS/25/25,,, GS/50c/25,,, H/50c/25,,, I/25/25,,, I/50c/25,,, Junk/E/25,,, Q/50L/90,,, St/50c/25,,, Su/E/25,,, TS/50L/25,,, TS/50vhc/25,,, TS/50c/15r,,, TS/AP/25,,, TS/E/Dur,,, V/25/25,,, V/50c/25,,, Z/E/90
TESLAS: AA/25/15r,,, AA/50L/15r,,, AA/AP/25,,, B/25/Gho,,, Exe/25/15r,,, Ext/25/15r,,, F/25/15r,,, I/25/15r,,, Q/AP/25,,, TS/25/15r,,, TS/25/25,,, V/25/250,,, V/25/Dur,,, V/50L/15r,,, Z/25/15r
AA/25/25 Assaultron Head,,, AA/50c/15v Crossbow,,, AA/50L/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, AA/25/25 Gamma Gun,,, AA/E/15r Hunting Rifle,,, B/AP/25 Compound Bow,,, B/25/25 Gauss Rifle,,, Exe/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, Exe/50c/25 Double Barrel,,, Exe/E/25 Hunting Rifle,,, Exe/E/25 Lever Action,,, F/50c/15v Compound Bow,,, F/E/25 Double Barrel,,, F/50c/15v Thirst Zapper,,, GouE/25 Double Barrel,,, Gou25/25 Lever Action,,, GS/50c/25 Gamma Gun,,, Jug/E/25 Combat Rifle,,, Jug/50c/25 Laser Rifle,,, Junk/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Mu/50c/25 Crossbow,,, N/25/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, N/50c/25 Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, Q/50c/25 Assaultron Head,,, Q/25/15r Combat Shotgun,,, Q/25/15r Plasma Rifle,,, St/50c/25 Crossbow,,, St/E/25 Single Action Revolver,,, Su/25/25 Radium Rifle,,, TS/25/15r Combat Rifle,,, TS/50c/25 Combat Rifle,,, V/25/15r Enclave Plasma Rifle,,, V/50c/25 Bow,,, V/AP/25 Crossbow,,, V/50c/25 Gauss Rifle
ARMOR: Aristocrat's Heavy Robot left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Assassin's Heavy Combat right leg with Strength/Sentinel,,, Assassin's Heavy Raider left leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Assassin's Marine right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Assassin's T-45 right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Assassin's USA left arm with +25 Poison resist/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim Heavy Robot right leg with +25 Cryo resist/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim Raider Power left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim USA right arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Auto Stim USA right arm with AP/WWR,,, Auto Stim USA right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Auto Stim USA right leg with Strength/WWR,,, Bolstering FSA chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Bolstering FSA left leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Bolstering Marine right arm with +25 Cryo resist/Sentinel,,, Bolstering Sturdy Combat left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Bolstering Trapper chest with AP/Cavalier,,, Bolstering Trapper right arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Bolstering USA left arm with 7%LED/FDC,,, Bolstering USA left leg with slowed hungeWWR,,, Bolstering USA right leg with Agility/Cavalier,,, Bolstering USA right leg with Charisma/Sentinel,,, Chameleon FSA left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon Heavy Leather right arm with AP/WWR,,, Chameleon Marine right leg with AP/HDT,,, Chameleon Raider Power right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon Robot chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Chameleon Trapper left leg with AP/Cavalier,,, Chameleon USA chest with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Chameleon USA left arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Chameleon USA left leg with +25 Cryo resist/Sentinel,,, Chameleon USA right arm with 7%LED/WWR,,, Chameleon USA right leg with AP/FDC,,, Cloaking Raider Power right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Cloaking USA right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Exterminator's FSA right arm with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Exterminator's FSA right leg with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Ghoul Slayer's FSA right leg with AP/Cavalier,,, Life Saving Combat left leg with AP/WWR,,, Life Saving Trapper left leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Life Saving Trapper right leg with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Life Saving USA left arm with AP/Cavalier,,, Life Saving USA right arm with +25 Poison resist/Sentinel,,, Mutant's Excavator left arm with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Mutant's FSA chest with 7%LED/WWR,,, Mutant's FSA left leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Nocturnal Excavator right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Nocturnal Marine right arm with AP/Cavalier,,, Nocturnal USA right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Combat left arm with +25 Cryo resist/Cavalier,,, Overeater's Excavator right leg with Luck/Cavalier,,, Overeater's FSA chest with Endurance/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Heavy Combat left arm with 7%LED/JWR,,, Overeater's Heavy Metal left leg with Strength/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Heavy Raider left arm with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Overeater's Heavy Raider left leg with Charisma/WWR,,, Overeater's Heavy Robot chest with +25 Rad resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Heavy Robot left leg with Agility/WWR,,, Overeater's Marine left leg with slowed hungeWWR,,, Overeater's Marine right leg with +25 Fire resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Metal left leg with +25 Cryo resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Robot right leg with Endurance/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Trapper left leg with +25 Fire resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's Trapper right arm with Luck/WWR,,, Overeater's T-60 left arm with +25% Env resist/WWR,,, Overeater's T-60 left arm slowed hungeWWR,,, Overeater's USA chest with +25 Cryo resist/HDT,,, Overeater's USA left arm with +25 Poison resist/Sentinel,,, Overeater's USA left leg with Agility/WWR,,, Overeater's Wood left arm with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Regenerating Heavy Leather right leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Regenerating Heavy Raider right arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Troubleshooter's Excavator right arm with 7%LED/Cavalier,,, Troubleshooter's Marine left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Troubleshooter's Sturdy Metal right leg with AP/Sentinel,,, Unyielding FSA chest with Intelligence/Dur,,, Unyielding FSA left arm with Charisma/Cavalier,,, Unyielding FSA left leg with AP/FDC,,, Unyielding Heavy Combat chest with Strength/HDT,,, Unyielding Heavy Combat right arm with +25 Poison resist/JWR,,, Unyielding Heavy Combat right leg with 7%LED/Less limb dam,,, Unyielding Heavy Leather right arm with AP/HDT,,, Unyielding Marine right leg with +25 Fire resist/WWR,,, Unyielding Metal chest with AP/HDT,,, Unyielding Metal right leg with AP/Cavalier,,, Unyielding Robot right arm with Agility/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Sturdy Leather left leg with 7%LED/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Sturdy Metal left arm with +25 Rad resist/Sentinel,,, Unyielding Trapper right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Unyielding USA chest with Charisma/Cavalier,,, Unyielding USA left arm with +25% Env resist/Cavalier,,, Unyielding USA left leg with Charisma/Cavalier,,, Unyielding USA right leg with +25 Poison resist/JWR,,, Unyielding Wood chest with Luck/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's Excavator right leg with Intelligence/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's FSA left arm with slowed hungeSentinel,,, Vanguard's Heavy Leather right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Vanguard's Heavy Robot right arm with 7%LED/HDT,,, Vanguard's Marine right arm with AP/HDT,,, Vanguard's Sturdy Robot left arm with AP/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's Sturdy Robot right leg with 7%LED/WWR,,, Vanguard's USA chest with Luck/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's USA left arm with Intelligence/Sentinel,,, Vanguard's USA right arm with AP/Cavalier,,, Vanguard's Wood chest with Strength/Sentinel,,, Weightless USA left arm with Strength/Sentinel,,, Weightless USA right leg with AP/Cavalier,,, Zealot's USA right arm with AP/WWR,,, Zealot's USA right leg with AP/WWR
PLANS: Alien Blaster,,, Assault rifle,,, Barbed walking cane,,, Baseball bat rocket,,, Baseball bat searing puncturing rocket,,, Bear arm,,, Bear arm heavy mod,,, Boxing glove lead lining,,, Camo Backpack,,, Cave cricket tube,,, Deathclaw gauntlet,,, Dense marine armor torso,,, Dense trapper armor torso,,, Fire station bell,,, Flannel shirt & jeans,,, Hatchet electro fusion,,, Junkyard fountain,,, Machete sacrificial blade,,, Meat Tenderizer,,, Nuka girl area rug,,, Pepper Shaker,,, Pitchfork flamer,,, Protective lining marine underarmor,,, Protective lining raider underarmor,,, Puncturing pole hook,,, Radioactive barrel,,, Raw cement barricade,,, Scorchbeast queen plushie,,, Scorched tube,,, Shielded lining casual underarmor,,, Shielded lining marine underarmor,,, Shielded lining raider underarmor,,, Ski sword skate blade,,, Skiing outfit,,, Sledgehammer heavy searing sharp rocket,,, Small vault girl statue,,, Snallygaster plushie,,, Spiked walking cane,,, The Fixer,,, T-60 BOS knight paint,,, TV Aquarium,,, Ultracite emergency protocols,,, Undershirt & jeans,,, Vintage water cooler,,, WV state bird rug,,, Yao Guai tube,,, Cutting fluid recipe,,, Fasnacht donut recipe,,, Fasnacht sausage recipe,,, Healing salve Cranberry Bog recipe,,, Healing salve Mire recipe,,, Formula P recipe,,,Stimpak Diffuser recipe,,, Tato salad recipe
APPAREL: Asylum Uniform Pink,,, Clean Spacesuit,,, Emmett Mountain hazmat suit,,, Garrahan Foreman Outfit and Helmet,,, Grey Fishermans Overalls,,, Hunter's Long Coat,,, Longshoreman Outfit,,, Skiing red and green outfit,,, Straight Jacket Clean,,, ,, Winter Jacket and Jeans
CHEMS: Addictol: 175,,, Berry Mentats: 637,,, Buffout: 1500,,, Calmex: 530,,, Daddy-O: 1059,,, Day Tripper: 793,,, Disease Cure: 415,,, Mentats: 1000,,, Overdrive: 540,,, Psycho: 2788,,, Psychobuff: 1359,,, Psychotats: 1196,,, X-cell: 342
FOOD: Canned meat stew: 65,,, Pepper: 2521,,, Salt: 922,,, Spices: 1407,,, Sugar Bombs(w/rads): 363
MODS: Enclave plasma aligned flamer mod,,, Enclave plasma aligned sniper barrel mod,,, Enclave plasma severe beta wave tuner

Previous week

Weekly Downloads

Name	Author	Downloads	Likes	Days Since Last Update	Description
1 Yas Download	Yas8p	1181	1	18	Download from social media
2 R⤓Download - iOS 13, 14, 15, 16	r07qxo	190	5	306	#Best Shortcut - Download Videos, Photos and Stories From Anywhere - 100 Million? Check Description
3 All Media Downloader	1MrNewton	58	8	5	This shortcut helps you download content from social media apps.
4 DTikTok	heismauri	48	0	156	A standalone downloader for TikTok without watermark
5 SGswiftOS	theswiftcoder	48	0	3	SGswiftOS is a Virtual Operating System.
6 Instagram Download	u/gluebyte	37	1	16	Public or private posts, stories, highlights, reels, profile – up to 1080x1920 60fps
7 QR Register	u/159K	36	1	1	Full potential of QR codes.
8 SwiftOS	FlyBoyAce2	31	0	1	Global Version of SwiftOS, a Virtual Operating System created in Singapore
9 Spotify to MP3	u/wintercome	28	0	2	Download Spotify tracks to MP3.
10 DTwitter	heismauri	25	0	35	Download photos, videos and HQ GIFs from a public tweet
11 Battery Checker	thetheorier	25	0	85	Displays the number of charge cycles and battery life of the iPhone from the analysis data.
12 Tera	Meatly_Shortcuts	24	1	6	A assistant capable of many things.
13 GPT-Translator	iampinyuan	24	0	7	Powered by OpenAI. Translate any text or voice message into your desired language.
14 Paid Apps in Free	Unique_Gaming	22	1	6	[ No Jailbreak ] Paid Apps/Games in Free
15 Instagram Media Saver	u/mvan231	22	0	103	Save photos, videos, stories, and reels
16 Just Another YouTube Downloader	Mncfre	21	0	51	Download YouTube videos or audio
17 AutoDown All	manhnk	20	2	6	Download ALL IN ONE - Tải xuống TẤT CẢ TRONG MỘT
18 YouTube to Mp3	erikaluis	19	1	4	MP3 Juice Downloader is a free video and audio downloader that can be used to download videos.
19 R⤓Updater (SUPPORT Alphabetical Versions)	r07qxo	19	0	273	Update,Embed,Publish Updates,Check For Updates Without Running Your Shortcuts! (Supports Any Server)
20 SW-DLT	net00	18	0	48	A Shortcuts front end for yt-dlp and gallery-dl

Weekly Likes

Name	Author	Downloads	Likes	Days Since Last Update	Description
1 All Media Downloader	1MrNewton	58	8	5	This shortcut helps you download content from social media apps.
2 R⤓Download - iOS 13, 14, 15, 16	r07qxo	190	5	306	#Best Shortcut - Download Videos, Photos and Stories From Anywhere - 100 Million? Check Description
3 Music Player	WhyYouNeed	17	3	6	Does the iMPOSIBBLE Plays music (also when gami) like YouTube Premium (but without the subscription)

Total Downloads

Available on RoutineHub: https://routinehub.co/shortcuts/?sort=top

Total Likes

Name	Author	Downloads	Likes	Days Since Last Update	Description
1 R⤓Download - iOS 13, 14, 15, 16	r07qxo	109756	381	306	#Best Shortcut - Download Videos, Photos and Stories From Anywhere - 100 Million? Check Description
2 Instagram Download	u/gluebyte	19151	169	16	Public or private posts, stories, highlights, reels, profile – up to 1080x1920 60fps
3 Icon Themer	alexiaa	15253	144	207	Create custom home screen icons that launch your apps directly
4 RoutinePub	u/MikeBeas	10716	112	251	Publish your Shortcuts to RoutineHub directly from your iOS device.
5 Instagram Media Saver	u/mvan231	39156	112	103	Save photos, videos, stories, and reels
6 SW-DLT	net00	9475	97	48	A Shortcuts front end for yt-dlp and gallery-dl
7 Pritam Download (For iOS 14 and 15)	jaglion	18083	96	286	The most advanced download tool to download any media from any social platforms.
8 Just Another YouTube Downloader	Mncfre	47197	96	51	Download YouTube videos or audio
9 Auto Message	Bingobucketster	48938	96	128	Schedule messages to be sent later
10 DTikTok	heismauri	32307	89	156	A standalone downloader for TikTok without watermark
11 Swing Updater	u/D3W10	21526	86	142	Update your shortcuts like no other
12 DTwitter	heismauri	52877	68	35	Download photos, videos and HQ GIFs from a public tweet
13 Dictionary Action Builder	u/gluebyte	3731	58	44	JSON ⇐⇒ dictionary action conversion tool
14 R⤓Updater (SUPPORT Alphabetical Versions)	r07qxo	25843	56	273	Update,Embed,Publish Updates,Check For Updates Without Running Your Shortcuts! (Supports Any Server)
15 HiRes Twitter	u/gluebyte	8012	54	23	Download public/​private/​community/​circle media at highest quality, save to Photos/Files or share
16 All Media Downloader	1MrNewton	2112	50	5	This shortcut helps you download content from social media apps.
17 QuickUpdate	u/zachary7829	14147	48	313	Quickly Update Your Shortcuts!
18 Shortcut Source Tool	u/gluebyte	3176	47	28	View, convert, save source in plist or json, edit and import back to Shortcuts, review in browser
19 Google Translate	brechtbakker	11971	44	356	Quickly translate using the Google Translate API
20 Get Sauce	u/MMP0	10255	43	66	Reverse Image Search for Manga, Anime, CGs, etc. with 10 Different Search Engines

Every week I collect info from new and updated shortcuts on RoutineHub, up to 60 pages each (about 1700 latest shortcuts combined). Then I compare this week’s numbers with last week’s and come up with these charts. Please let me know if you have suggestions.

A special thanks to u/bluefishcake for the wonderful original story and sandbox to play in.
A special thanks to my editors LordHenry7898, RandomTinkerer, Swimming_Good_8507, CatsInTrenchcoats, and KLiCKonthat.
And a big thanks to the authors and their stories that inspired me to tell my own in this universe. RandomTinkerer (City Slickers and Hayseeds), Punnynfunny (Denied Operations), CompassWithHat (Top Lasgun), CarCU131 (The Cook), and Rhion-618 (Just One Drop)
Hy’shq’e Ay Si’am (Thank you noble friends)
Chapter 30: A Promise Kept
Kalai stepped off the shuttle to the Vaida’s headquarters and into a running tackle-hug from Sitry. “Oh Kalai, I could kill you right now! You got to see the Great Barrier Reef in person, you bitch!” Sitry’s cheerful voice was muffled from where she was still buried in her chest. Kalai staggered backwards a pace or two, happy to be back from her whirlwind adventure around Earth with her father.
Naranjo and Papa Rhaxiid were there on the platform to welcome her back too, but their welcomes were more sedate.
“Not to mention you got out of work for half our damn trip. Ugh, it’s so not fair!” Naranjo huffed as Kalai gave him a sisterly hug.
Papa Rhaxiid reached up and chucked her chin before turning to lead the way back inside from the forested platform. “Welcome back, sweet-sprout, we’ve missed you. Come on, we’ll get you settled again and off to work. There’s quite a bit you need to catch up on if you want your credits.”
The chuckles from the twins behind her were full of sibling malice, but she knew how to shut the pair of them up. “Papa Rhaxiid? I’ve got the paper on Biodiversity in the Reef you asked for, along with the dissection report and stomach content analysis of the tuna we caught. I want to put the finishing touches on it and do a final proofread first before I send them to you.” The man turned and gave her a warm smile as they entered the building.
“Good, why don’t you go take your things back up and say hello to Andy? I’ll give you an hour and a half to get freshened up, then I want you to report to Aquarium 12 with Dr. Sor’ansa. You can put your snorkeling practice to work there.” Papa Rhaxiid walked the three of them to the residential elevator. “I’m heading back to my office. Andy’s been requested by Maetro Pae’ella to work the kitchens for something called ‘Bison burgers'. Apparently it’s a type of indigenous bovine that the eastern Bands raise. That and something from Europe called ‘French Fries’.”
Kalai couldn’t help but get excited as she and her siblings piled into the elevator back to their little shared apartment. Sure the food she’d had all over the place was good, but so far nothing had been able to compare to Andy and his Salishian cooking.
“Nerd, I can’t believe you cheated and did work on your vacation." Naranjo broke the silence of the elevator after a little bit and stuck his tongue out at her.
“Spit to windward, you vain little weed. Don’t hate me because I’m awesome.” Kalai’s riposte caused Naranjo to fold his arms and huff. Sitry simply ambushed her with an ear flick.
The elevator door opened to their floor before Kalai couldn’t bear the silence from Sitry any longer. “So, did you bag him yet, you lucky bitch?”
“No she hasn’t!” Naranjo’s singsong mockery of his sister interrupted Sitry’s response. “Papa hasn’t let Sitry even NEAR Andy without one of them around!”
“Rub it in, you snitch, besides, he did kiss me first,” Sitry preened happily as she playfully shoved Kalai’s shoulder.
Kalai pretended to stumble and almost caught Sitry’s foot, but she was just a hair too slow. “Yeah, and then you gave him a black eye, you clod.”
“Will you let it go? It was an accident!”
“It’s not even the only one he got either." Naranjo’s interjection stopped her right in front of their door.
“Wait, what? Who hurt him this time?” Kalai let her bag thunk to the floor as she turned to look accusingly between Sitry and Narny.
Sitry folded her arms and her ears twitched back as she shot a dark look at their door. “He ‘fell down’ yesterday while out at one of the Hatcheries we gave to the Hwatcoms. Mrs. Toloui nearly had a fit! She said she could smell another human on him and that he was covered in blood!”
Narny nodded primly as Kalai tried to process what they were telling her. “WHAT? Did she call out the militia? Track down whoever hurt him?”
“No, and he refused treatment and insisted that no one did it to him! When papa tried to talk to him, Andy said some stupid human macho shit about pain healing and birds liking scars. I don’t know, sometimes humans… they’re frickin’ insane!”
The door shot open and there stood Andy. His left eye was an angry puffy yellow and blue mess, and there were three points on his lips where a dark cinnabar line marked a crack. Kalai and her siblings stood in wide eyed shock at his sudden appearance and the only sound was the music emanating from the common room behind him.
Andy looked up and down at the three without saying a word. He cocked an eyebrow and snagged Kalai’s bag before any of them could react and cleared the doorway for them.
Kalai sputtered at the impropriety but Naranjo and Sitry just shrugged and walked in after Andy. “Femboys, am I right?” Narny whispered to Kalai as he passed. Kalai followed behind and was greeted by the white fluff-ball, Puck, who hopped up and down, whining for attention. She bent down and started scratching his ears and back. While Puck rubbed up against her hands, Andy settled back down at the table where his omnipad was hooked up to a keypad. Her heart started to sink a bit and Kalai shot Sitry a jealous look before the music came to a sudden halt and Andy interrupted the beginnings of her pity party.
“Ok, Kem’ira, I got the pics now and I’m telling you to declare yourself to the farmers first! I guarantee if you tell them you’re with the new DNR and you’re there to kill all the Scotch Broom in their pasture lands, they’ll stop trying to shoot you for trespassing!”
Kalai’s mood jumped up a bit. It’s not that he doesn’t care to see me, he’s in a meeting!
“No, no I’m not coming out to talk this over with them, I’ve got my own work to do! Either you start talking to folks like I showed you how, or ask the militia to give you one of their armored catsuits to wear under your uniform… Uh-huh, good luck." Andy hung up on the call and leaned back as Puck scampered over and hopped up in his lap.
Andy rubbed his temples before shaking his head. He seemed to relax a bit and Puck slid off to follow Sitry to the kitchen. Andy looked over and gave Kalai a happy smile that made her flush. “Welcome back! So how was the land down under? That tuna was fan-frickin’-tastic, if you aren’t sick of seafood I’ll do something fancy with it tomorrow to celebrate your coming back. Can’t tonight though, I got volun-told to be head chef tonight and I… Oh damnit! I’m late! Come to dinner, burgers and fries Indian style tonight. Gotta run!” With that, Andy went dashing out the door with Puck barking and scrambling along after him.
Kalai felt her heart sink back down again, as he left. “Andy I-” She started but he was gone.
“Yeah, it’s been like that for the whole week. The only time we get to hang out is dinner.” Sitry commiserated as she took Kalai’s bag into their room. “On the other hand, we might get to catch up during the family meal tonight.”
The dinner was delicious, though a bit weird. It tasted alright, but there was a certain aftertaste on the sandwich that just didn’t sit right with Kalai. She just couldn’t put her finger on it. The french fries more than made up for it though, and Mama Sakalbi had to hold a science trivia contest to see who got the last little handful.
Kalai and Narny were already silently plotting with each other for their revenge against their sister who had won and refused to share the last few matchsticks when Andy finally joined their table. He was sweaty and he smelled of woodsmoke and french fries. Kalai jumped up and offered him a seat next to her with a nervous smile. He took it gratefully and seemed to sag a bit as he gulped down a glass of water.
“Andy, I think you may be finding your calling as a culinary ambassador,” Mama Aftasia beamed. “A toast to the chef!”
Andy gave a shy smile and looked down as Kalai and the rest of the family gave a hearty ‘Here, here!”
“It’s a simple enough recipe; it’s just using bison instead of cow, that’s all, and I don’t know anyone who’d turn down hand cut fresh fries. It’s kind of hard to screw up.”
“Young man, you are speaking to a woman who found a way to take cold water and dried wumpa flakes and wind up with a Class-4 fire. Cooking has always seemed like ‘blight mysticism’ to me, and these foods? These flavors? Nothing short of a Greenwood miracle in my opinion." Mama Aftasia continued her praise of Andy, which only caused him to shrink even lower in his seat.
“To be honest, I like your salmon better,” Kalai said, and the whole table went silent. Kalai held her ground though, and was rewarded with a tired but genuine laugh from Andy that brought him back out of his shell.
“You know, I do too. My Clan were fisherpeople, not buffalo chasers.” Andy gave Kalai a cheeky grin, which she returned happily, her heart glowing. Mama Aftasia and Mama Sakalbi both blinked in bemusement at Andy’s statement while Sitry just giggled.
“Speaking of which, Andy, I received a call from Elder Alex Hwatcom.” Papa Rhaxiid’s change of subject instantly perked Andy up, and he stared silently, waiting. “He extended an invitation to our family to attend his family gathering this Friday-”
“Alex said that? He used those words?” Andy shook his head in shock as he interrupted Papa Rhaxiid. The table went quiet and everyone held their breath as they looked between the two men.
Papa Rhaxiid adopted as good an impression of the human Elder as he could. “I’d like to extend an invitation for you and your family to be guests at our family gathering this saturday up at the White… something… lodge-”
“The White Ram Lodge?” Andy sat forward, interjecting again as the color drained from his face.
“Yes, that’s the one! I asked if we could bring anything since the last time they hosted us they put on that wonderful spread. He said if we could bring a few salmon for the family, that would be wonderful.”
Andy leaned back and took another sip of ice water before holding the glass to his blackened eye. “Alex Hwatcom… just invited you… to a gathering… and he told you to ‘bring a few salmon’? Do you realize what a huge honor this is?”
Rhaxiid looked from his wives to his children with mild concern. “Um, I thought it was only dinner, but your reaction tells me there’s more significance to this than I originally thought. I was thinking about our stocks of adult Sockeye, but then I remembered in his story how important King Salmon are. Of course, I’d like to defer to you for the choice since you know these animals and the cultural expectations with this invitation better than we do.”
Andy was silent for a moment before he put the glass down. “I’d recommend a ‘hard no’ to all your clone stock!” Now it was the Vaidas’ turn to be shocked, as each of Kalai’s Erbian family’s jaws dropped in synch. Before anyone could say anything, Andy continued, “You need to bring wild-caught. Farm-raised salmon wouldn’t… well we can tell, and you can taste the difference between them. We need to go fishing!” Kalai leaned towards Andy slightly as he lowered his head and started mumbling to himself. She was just able to make out what he was saying to himself as Mama Sakalbi and Mama Aftasia began whispering to each other. “...need to get the Gillnetter out of storage, check what’s running and select the mesh. I’m gonna need a deckhand too.”
Kalai reached a hand out but stopped short of touching him. “Andy?”
He popped up and spoke for the whole table to hear. “I need a shuttle to the mainland and a waiver against the fishing ban. I’ve got to get my boat and the drum ready for sea ” Rhaxiid and Aftasia sputtered in confusion, but Mama Sakalbi had a shadow fall over her, and her ears pulled back.
“Do you mean to say you want to go out on the water? Risk the ecological balance for… dinner?”
Andy looked Sakalbi dead in the eye and gave her a firm nod. “Why don’t you come out and see how we did this before you got here. Think of it as a chance to see the way we’ve fished for the last hundred or so years, and then I can explain the way we used to fish before that.”
The offer snapped Rhaxiid out of his confusion and he brightened. “A learning experience? Wonderful, we’ll make a day of it!” His hands shot out to grab both his wives’ and Kalai could feel the vibrations in the floor from where he was excitedly tapping his feet.
“If you don’t mind hard, smelly work. Uncle Willy always called it ‘the worst desk in the prettiest office.' It’ll be a bit cramped, but I’ve got room on the boat for a few guests and observers; four I think would be ok. She’s a working boat, not a pleasure cruiser,” Andy explained. That sent the whole lot of them excitedly talking among themselves.
Kalai was about to lean in to talk to Mama Aftasia, but Andy caught her attention first. “I don’t suppose you’d want to go back out on the water, given you just got back from pleasure-boating-”
Kalai’s heart nearly jumped out of her chest. “I wouldn’t miss it for my own colony planet!”
--------------------
Kalai stood on the pier, bundled in her thermal sailor’s coat. It was still dark and the wind blew from the north in a cold little morning breeze. Kalai took a deep breath and reveled in the smell of the fresh sea air. The soft chattering of Mama Sakalbi’s teeth broke the silence. “It’s a bit chillier than it said it was going to be.”
“The water always does that. It’s never as warm as the lubbers say it’ll be,” Papa spoke as he handed her back her thermos of hot chocolate.
Papa stood next to Kalai and nudged her with his elbow. Even in the dark, Kalai could see him smile up at her and jerk his head at the shivering Erbian. He was also wearing a thermal sailor’s coat, and his hands were stuffed in his pockets to keep them warm, just like Kalai’s. “Landswoman,” he whispered to her and the two of them shared a knowing smile. It was strange, but welcome when she'd told Papa about her upcoming day fishing with Andy, and he’d politely requested to join them. Papa Rhaxiid had graciously given his spot up to accommodate her birth father. Narny was all for it until Andy had explained what they were going to do, but then surrendered his challenge to the fourth guest space, not wanting to go anywhere NEAR anything that could see him come face to face with a Lion’s Mane Jelly. Sitry had done a happy little dance when she found out, but only yesterday had come down with Thistle Fever, and was bundled off to bed by her parents. It left Kalai, Mama Sakalbi, and Papa to accompany Andy on his fishing trip.
The water brushed against the shore behind them quietly. In the gloom, Kalai could just barely make out the outline of the nearest island mountain, but only because the stars had disappeared behind it. It was almost four in the morning, but Kalai had managed a catnap on the shuttle to the empty little lot that had been the boat launch. Aside from the water, the world was silent. Even the breeze made almost no noise and a sense of peace surrounded them. Everything was so calm, Kalai felt like she didn’t have a care in the world.
In the distance, a low rumbling sound of a motor rose from being almost imperceptible to a rolling drum of thunder. From around the point, two green floating lights sped through the darkness, and a spotlight turned on. The beam of light moved jerkily until it came to rest on the pier where they were standing and Kalai started waving her arms. Sakalbi’s omnipad rang, and Andy’s voice shouted over the speaker and the background noise for them to shine a light on the edge of the pier to help him park the boat.
Kalai and Papa moved closer and turned their omnipad flashlights on and waved them as the boat swung gracefully around and glided in alongside them. Kalai caught the rope that flew over the railing of the boat and she heard more than saw Andy moving around on the deck as she tied off on one of the mooring cleats. Several lights clicked on and the deck was bathed in light enough for Kalai to get a clear view of the boat they’d be spending the day on.
Andy hadn’t lied. Kalai saw that this little vessel was a working boat with no frills at all. When he’d told her they’d be going fishing, she’d envisioned something like the charter boat papa had taken her on out of Nantucket. Sporty, fast with a nod to comfort and function. This was not that at all. A giant wheel as wide as Kalai’s outstretched arms that looked like a sideways spool of thread was secured to the deck amidships and dominated the deckspace. Wrapped around it was a fluorescent green tangle with a line of oblong white and yellow corks and rope. There was a covered hatchway sitting behind the drum in front of the raised step to the enclosed cabin. Two large windows let the light out to two children’s bunks, a little table with a booth seat and a raised captain’s chair in front of the helm and engine controls. Andy shut down the engine and that peaceful stillness returned.
“Oway there!” Kalai called, “ship oway! Request permission to come aboard.” Kalai gave the traditional greeting of a Shil’vati sailor.
“Permission granted! Anyone need a stepstool?” Andy finally stepped into the light and Kalai got a look at him. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and the same bright orange coveralls she’d seen the fishmongers wearing on their date.
“I wouldn’t mind a hand, Mr. Shelokset.” Papa He’osforos braced a foot on the railing of the boat and Andy pulled him up.
“Just call me Andy, Doc, and welcome aboard. Jackie should be along any minute now with the day’s groceries, and the cabin’s out of the cold. You can get yourself set wherever you find comfortable.” Papa nodded and disappeared around the other side of the wheel moving towards the bow.
Kalai helped Mama Sakalbi into the boat next, and she quickly ducked into the cabin that took up the entire stern section save for a little ledge that ran along the outside. Andy gripped Kalai’s hand and she smiled as he pulled her deftly aboard. The boat rocked a little on its mooring, and Kalai almost fell into Andy, who wordlessly put his arms around her waist to catch her as she lost her balance. She flailed for a moment before she steadied herself against him.
“Gotcha,” Andy smiled, and Kalai could see him flush almost as much as she could feel herself doing as their noses almost touched. Those big dark brown eyes surrounded by white orbs drew her in and she felt she could lose herself in them. Kalai started as Andy danced her around him and moved her towards the cabin door.
“It might be a little cramped for you in there, but the Mary Jean wasn’t built for pleasure boating, she’s a working girl. Sit tight, I gotta check a few things in the back.” Andy patted the railing affectionately before he hopped up and scooted along the outside of the cabin towards the stern. Kalai couldn’t help the little longing groan that came out as he left her there on the little tiny quarterdeck. Her heart was hammering in her chest as half formed fantasies danced at the edges of her mind.
“I saw that, little minnow.” Papa’s voice was soft, but his tone and the sudden broken silence nearly gave her a heart attack.
Kalai could only stammer as her father stared at her with a cocked eyebrow. A thump from the cabin window behind saw an amused Mama Sakalbi daintily sipping at her thermos with her ears twitched forward in interest, staring out at her. “Papa I… he-”
Papa moved carefully around the covered hatchway to stand next to her, leaning back against the cabin window and heaved a sigh. “I must say I’m surprised. This lovely man’s got good clean lines and is very well cared for. It speaks well of his Skipper.”
It took a full minute for Kalai’s brain to process that he was talking about the boat and not Andy. “And the way Andy brought him in smooth in near complete darkness? It gives me confidence in his abilities.”
Kalai breathed a silent sigh of relief and exasperation. Although she was happy to be spending more time with her father, bringing him on what she’d hoped would be a sailing date wasn’t exactly what she’d had in mind for ‘family time’. He wants me to find a nice young man and spend time with him on a boat, but the first chance I get Papa decides to clam-jam me.
From up on shore, the sound and lights of a large human vehicle screeching to a halt heralded the last of their party to arrive. Kalai heard the clomping footsteps coming down the pier and moved to the railing to lend a hand.
“Ahoy Mary Jean! Raggedy Andy, you there?” Kalai stared with wide eyed surprise to see a human female, loaded down with plastic bags and sporting two human weapons on her shoulder. The two of them locked eyes, and while Kalai didn’t understand everything the girl shouted in surprise, she had caught and understood the phrase, “What the fuck?”
“Easy now, they’re my guests, and the one inside is the boss!” Andy appeared on the pier instantly before either Kalai or the woman could react further.
“Ya didn’t tell me we were having pur-” The woman glared at Kalai and her father. She had switched to Vatikre thankfully, but her tone was hostile as she dropped everything but her weapons. “I mean, hwun’eetums, aboard. A gal could get the wrong idea pretty quick in the dark when there’s no warning.”
“Knock it off Jackie. Let’s get the grub aboard and shove off.” Andy picked up some of the bags and took the guns as Kalai offered a helping hand over the railing. “Oh, Kalai, this is Jackie. Jackie? Kalai. That’s her dad over there, Doc He’osforos. He saw and treated Kay Tee a few years back.” Andy jerked his head towards the direction of Kalai’s father as she held out a hand to the human girl. On a quick inspection, she appeared to be about the same age as her and Andy. She had a round face and was about as dark complected as Andy was. She was shorter, only a few inches taller than Papa, but when Jackie grabbed Kalai’s hand to hop up onto the rail, she could feel the strength and the compact muscle hidden by the baggy sweatshirt and pants.
“Wait a minute, did you say Mini-Me over there saw Kay Tee? You’re fuckin’ with me!” Jackie stumbled a bit as she hopped down onto the deck with a loud thunk and advanced on Papa who shrank away at her advance. “You saw li’l Kay Tee? Where the fuck is he? Is he alright? Is he still fighting the good fight?”
“Last I saw, yes, he was ‘fighting the good fight.’” Papa looked over at Andy with a slightly worried expression. Andy smacked the girl in the back of the head, causing her to flinch and she opened the door to the cabin for Andy to go inside.
Jackie rubbed the back of her head and laughed. “Well that’s a little bit of alright, innit? Maybe today’s gonna be a good day after all!”
“Jackie, get suited up and get on the bow. I need a good pair of eyes on the roller horns,” Kalai heard Andy shout from the cabin, followed by a whole lot of thumping and banging from cabinets being opened and closed.
“You got it, ol’ man. We going to your place or mine?” Jackie sidestepped in and opened a tiny little closet and pulled out a set of rain gear that was identical to what Andy was wearing. Kalai collected herself and stood in the doorway next to her father as they both leaned in.
“Mine; Chuck said the Yaw’much are running from the South. We’ll do a set nor’west of Lummi in the Rosario and see if we can get some Fraser Kings,” Andy replied as he turned the engine back on and the vessel roared to life.
“Chuck? Isn’t that one of your cousins? I didn’t know he could keep track of the movements of Salmon, may I ask how he does it?” Mama Sakalbi perked up as she pulled a set of earplugs out of a pocket and inserted them.
Andy prevaricated a bit, looking from Jackie back to Sakalbi then to Kalai and Papa. “I’d rather not answer that-”
“Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law! Breakin’ the law, breakin’ the law!”
Jackie began singing a human song, and Andy threw her the dirtiest of looks as she finished getting into the orange coveralls. Mama Sakalbi sputtered as Andy shrugged apologetically.
“Make a hole!” Jackie called, and she and Andy came back out as Kalai and Papa made room for them. Andy hopped back onto the dock to cast off while Papa ducked into the cabin.
“Can I help?” Kalai offered as Andy shoved the vessel off and leapt the gap over the black water below.
“You want to be useful? Come forward! I could use an extra set of eyes!” Jackie called back, and Kalai felt a slap on her shoulder from the boisterous human woman.
------------------
Andy stood at the helm, watching Jackie and Kalai as he leaned to get a better view of them past the Net drum. The bow was lifting up again, and the gentle little swells became like speed bumps, jostling them up and down in a predictable bouncing rhythm.
“Are you sure you couldn’t slow down, Andy? It’s a bit rough, don’t you think?” Sakalbi was hanging on to the table and her thermos with a worried expression on her face.
“I could, but we’ll miss the morning set. We want to bomb out the buoy right when the tide changes. If we’re lucky, then we’ll get around seventy or eighty by slack tide this afternoon and call it a day.”
“How do you know where to fish?” Dr. He’osforos was making a good show of standing and maintaining his balance with his hand on the booth.
“Well, there’s two ways you know. The first is you fish the spots your family’s fished since time began. Every family has about two or three different secret spots that we know there’s fish in, and we’re pretty defensive about their locations. The second is by smell. Right now it’s the tail end of the King season, and you can smell them in the water.” Andy turned and saw the incredulity etched on the faces of the two aliens.
“No, I’m serious! King Salmon slime is really pungent, and you can smell them when they’re close to the surface. We get to the fishing spot and take a deep whiff. If we smell them, we’ll set the nets.” Andy laughed at the disbelief on their faces as the GPS on his omnipad beeped and he turned to sail around the last buoy and head for the fishing ground.
“I’ve never noticed that in any of the Kings we’ve raised-”
Andy suppressed a laugh as they caught a larger swell as they left the lee of Lummi Island. Andy reveled in the feeling of weightlessness as the deck rose up and fell out from underneath their feet, leaving everyone suspended for a moment in midair before falling back down. A massive spray of water rose and washed over the deck, drenching Kalai and Jackie, who were still forward. “Cloned and farmed Kings don’t have that same smell. Wild ones smell and taste different, I’m telling you!” Andy pulled back slightly on the throttle as they climbed the next swell. “Brace!” he called as they climbed and fell once again.
There was a look of fear on Sakalbi’s face as she gripped the table for dear life, but to Andy’s surprise, the Doctor looked completely unfazed, and was handling the rise and fall of the deck like an old salt. “You look like you’ve done this before, Doc.”
“I’ve done a stint or two at sea before,” he spoke, in the same tone Andy would have used when trying not to sound too confident, and Andy smiled.
“Kalai keeps talking about loving the sea and sailing. Did you teach her to sail?”
“Yes, me and her mothers. When they were home, we would take the family yacht out in the Vaascon Straits and sail around the Occidiens. Kalai practically spent all her early childhood on a sailboat.”
“And almost every waking moment on one in Junior Academy. I swear you couldn’t dig her out with a trowel when she wanted to go sailing,” Sakalbi managed to add in a word as the boat slowed, and the dramatic rise and fall of the deck slowed with it.
“What about you, Mr. Shelokset, did your father teach you to sail too?”
“I was too young before he passed. My Great Uncle Willy taught me after I came home, and Grandma took me out to the family fishing sites when she wasn’t busy with the Council. For the first two or three years after they let us come home, fishing was the only way to feed our families, but the Militia and the Cambrians would try and sink our boats or arrest us whenever we tried to go out.”
“And that’s why you’re so good at maneuvering your vessel in the dark with no instruments?” Mrs. Vaida had folded her arms, and her voice twinged with that imperious tone she’d had when they’d first met.
Andy huffed a dry laugh. “I did what I had to for me and my people and to survive, Ma’am. I don’t like breaking the law or dodging lasers and gunfire, but there’s a lot of poor families that need to eat.”
The GPS beeped, and Andy gave Mrs. Vaida a slightly defiant look to counter her furrowed brow. “We’re here,” he said as he threw the engine in neutral and opened the cabin door.
Andy walked out and took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the net and the exhaust from the engine. “HEY JACKIE! WE SMELL MONEY?” Andy yelled out as he took stock of the sky. The first signs of sunrise were chasing all but the morning stars away and a light fog was rolling in from the north.
“FUCK YEAH I CAN SMELL ‘EM, ANDY! LET’S BOMB OUT AND GET BREAKFAST GOING!” Jackie looked slightly manic as she smiled brightly. Kalai, on the other hand, looked wet and miserable as she shivered, arms wrapped around herself. Andy gave his cousin a disgusted look as he pieced together what had happened. Every deckhand learned when to duck behind the raised bow and the roller horns that guided the nets so as not to get a faceful of spray when cutting through a swell. It was also a classic hazing trick for Senior Deckhands to let Junior Deckhands learn this the hard way.
Andy moved forward to stand in front of the two of them. Kalai was trying to squeeze her coat dry, but Andy knew it wouldn’t do much good until the sun came out. Jackie at least had the sense to look a little remorseful. “Kalai, why don’t you go sit in the cabin and get out of that wet coat. It’s cold enough out here even for us-”
“No way, Andy. Junior deckhand Kally here wants to impress you and get her dainty soft hands dirty! She’s been bragging about being a sailorwoman and wants to learn to fish ‘your way!” Jackie gave Kalai’s shoulder a wet slap as the poor alien woman went blue. Out of cold or embarrassment, Andy couldn’t tell.
All Andy could do was shake his head and huff. “Ok then! Secure the buoy and sling on my mark. I’ll get us in position!” Andy couldn’t help but chuckle as he heard Jackie start ordering Kalai about. Andy went back into the cabin and looked in the closet/bathroom to see if there was anything hanging up that he could give Kalai. There was only the one rain slicker and a few of Andy’s old sweaters from when he was a lot smaller. Well, looks like I’ll just be cold today. He quickly stripped out of his sweatshirt and grabbed the slicker before throwing a switch on the main control. Dr. He’osforos and Mrs. Vaida threw him quizzical looks as he went back outside wearing less than when he came in. He was down to a sleeveless shirt and his coveralls, and the morning breeze cut right through him and he braced his jaw to keep it from chattering.
“We’re ready to go- Andy, why are you practically naked from the waist up?” Kalai was staring wide eyed at him as he approached her and Jackie was on the bow. Jackie had everything ready; the buoy line was strung through the horns and ready to toss out. A giant orange and blue beach ball sized float hung at the end of the line to mark the end and make it easier to pick up later.
“Trade me your coat for these. If Jackie’s putting you to work, you’ll need these to keep warm.”
“I’m alright, I can-”
“I’m the Skipper of this boat, and I’m ordering you to take off that wet coat and put these on; and Jackie?” Andy gave his cousin a long and piercing look. “Give her the elbow gloves, not the halfsies.”
The scoff and the muttered Salishian profanities meant he’d read the next prank she’d had in mind right. She was planning on giving her the cloth gloves with only the palms and fingers coated in rubber. While perfectly fine for fishing, Andy knew they tended to get soaked through very quickly and did nothing to keep jellyfish stingers and fish slime off your hands. Kalai sputtered for a moment before she complied gratefully and she accepted the dry clothes and rain slicker.
Andy saw Jackie give him a strange look before looking back at Kalai, but he paid it no mind. He walked back to the controls on the drum and switched off the hydraulics, placing the mechanism in neutral. “SLING IT!” Andy called as he took the small jerry rigged steering wheel and threw the boat in reverse. Kalai jumped as the line started unspooling the net into the water at a rapid pace.
Andy set an ‘S’ bend in the quarter mile long net, zigzagging backwards until they came to the end of the line. Andy stopped the boat as Jackie tied off the other large buoy and tossed it over the side, unstringing the cork-line from the roller horns in the process. He pulled hard over and put a bit of distance from the net before shutting the engine down. The line of white and yellow corks marking the net bobbed lazily with the swells as silence settled over the water again. The waves rocked the boat gently as Andy found his sea legs again.
“Alright, I’ll get breakfast going. Jackie, Kalai? Post the watch for seals,” Andy called as he walked back into the cabin to fire up the tiny little gas stove.
Sakalbi, having found the confidence to stand at last, poked her head out of the cabin and stood on by the hatch to the fish hold. “Seals? Why would you need to watch for seals?”
Andy grit his teeth and looked over from where he was cracking open and scrambling eggs. “They’re the spawn of Satan and we hate their guts!” Andy bit out. Jackie came back and pulled the two shotguns and a pair of binoculars from the closet. Andy reached over to a side cabinet and pulled out a box of shells for them. Both his boss and the Doctor’s eyes got wide.
“Seals are the enemy of our blood. Were it not for the invasion, our unending war against these vermin would continue to this day!” Jackie growled as she loaded one for herself and rested the other on Andy’s seat at the helm.
The look of growing horror on Sakalbi’s face towards their facetious declarations caused Andy to chuckle a bit, before launching into an explanation. “We’re not fans of the species because they’ll wait until a fish gets caught in the net and then they’ll steal it, costing us a fish AND ripping a big hole in our nets that we then have to take time to repair. We use the shotguns and buckshot to give them a nice welt and convince them not to hang around, because they’ll wait up on the surface and watch the buoys, just like us. A single seal can and will take between five and ten fish. The worst is when they start getting full, they’ll just bite out the bellies of a salmon in the net. We can’t really do anything with that fish once it’s ‘seal-bit’. So yes, as fishermen, we hate them.”
“Learned opportunism in apex predators as a response to human activity… I think I’ll go see this behavior for myself!” Sakalbi practically rushed out the door towards the bow where Jackie was sitting on the roller horns explaining to Kalai how to spot the bastards, leaving Andy alone in the cabin with the Doctor while he cooked breakfast for them all.
Dr. He’osforos sat down heavily in the booth and pulled out his omnipad. “I’ve had a word with my friend in the Interior. She’s pulled the warrant for your brother, and I’ve withdrawn the charges I filed.”
Andy froze and turned around slowly. The only sound was the sizzle and pop of the eggs and chorizo that he’d added to them in the skillet. “You mean… it’s done? He can come home?” A wave of light headed euphoria swept over Andy and he swayed with the gentle rocking of the boat. “I will pay you back, Doc-”
The doctor held up his hand and stopped Andy. “We’ll call it even, but there’s something… I was able to get my hands on this,” Andy watched as the doctor swiped something towards his omnipad and it dinged. “What is it if I may-”
“Are you really asking an Indian to tell you a story? Because it’s going to be a long one if you are.” “I’m Sevastutavan, young man; we invented long stories.”
Andy froze and stared at the screen of his omnipad. The Vatikre was heavily accented, and Andy had a bit of trouble with the unfamiliar accent, but centered in the frame in a hospital room, sitting in a wheelchair, was a Salishian boy. Andy blinked in surprise as he stared at the screen. “Is that-”
“I am Ikw’is’hi’ehlah, and this bearer is… of the Orca Clan Sheloksets. I drove our Haida enemies onto the rocks and took many heads when they attacked our winter village on Orcas Island. I signed the Treaty with the Great White Father and I fought against the slavers of the south-”
Andy wanted to grab the omnipad but the smell of overcooking eggs brought his attention back to breakfast and Andy stirred and scrapped the food quickly, trying to save it.
“I asked her for any materials she could give me on your brother. Pictures, recordings, anything. This is what she gave me. It's the last known recording of your brother during an interrogation conducted by a Navy Commissar prior to his escape. It seems he made friends with a Pod of Deaths Head Commandos. Quite a bit of the recording has been redacted, but… there are portions of it where he talks about his family and his history. I thought you might like to have it.”
Andy hurriedly pulled out paper plates and a slice of bread for everyone and scooped a heaping portion of the chorizo eggs onto them. He handed the doctor his before leaning out the cabin door. “Slop’s on, come and get it!”
Andy sat down after moving the shotgun out of the way and started the video over again as the three women came back to grab their plates and lost himself watching his brother start telling his story.
“What’s that?” Andy heard Kalai ask over his shoulder, and he paused the video.
“That’s my brother! That’s Kay Tee!”
“Holy shit, what?” Jackie nearly shoved Kalai into Andy as she jammed her bread slice down her gullet and crowded in to see the screen.
Andy started the video over a second time and they watched in silence. “God, that brings back memories. Back when mom was still alive and before we broke up the warband. I can’t believe that slippery little punk ghosted a pod of Commandos for two fucking years! Holy shit, that’s badass!”
Before Andy could say anything, Sakalbi started coughing and brought the binoculars up. “Uh, Andy? Jackie? What do we do about sharks?”
Jackie looked at Andy in confusion. “Sharks? There’s nothing but Dogs around here.”
“Well those are shark fins and they’re charging the net!” Sakalbi pointed and Andy looked up to see dorsal fins charging the center of the net.
Andy looked at Jackie and spoke the same words in tandem, “Oh shit!”
​
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https://www.reddit.com/Sexyspacebabes/comments/yz0u3h/the_cryptid_chronicle_chapter_1/
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To be posted 6/4/23