So I'm still a few days away from unlocking the new event set but it does seem like a fun gimmick I wanna try and add to my for fun Tholian themed Tarantula build. It is just for fun, not high spec or anything hence why it's light on details, but I still wanna be a little efficient with it so wondering if I can get some advice on what to swap out, thanks.

Ship Loadout: Tholian Tarantula Dreadnought Cruiser

Slot	Item
Fore Weapon 1	Hyper-Dual Refracting Tetryon Beam Bank
Fore Weapon 2	Refracting Tetryon Beam Array
Fore Weapon 3	Thermionic Torpedo Launcher
Fore Weapon 4	Refracting Tetryon Beam Array
Aft Weapon 1	Omni-Directional Antichroniton Infused Tetryon Beam Array
Aft Weapon 2	Refracting Tetryon Beam Array
Aft Weapon 3	Nukara Web Mine Launcher
Aft Weapon 4	Refracting Tetryon Beam Array
Deflector	[Nukara Deflector Array ]() Mk XV Ultra Rare
Impulse Engines	[Nukara Impulse Engines ]() Mk XV Ultra Rare
Warp Core	Temporal Phase Mk XV Very Rare
Shields	[Nukara Crystalline Resilient Shields ]() Mk XV Ultra Rare
4 Engineering Consoles	Console - Universal - Tholian Web Cannon
	Console - Engineering - Neutronium Alloy Mk XIV
	Console - Engineering - Trellium-D Plating
	Console - Universal - Enhanced Tholian Web Generator
3 Science Consoles	Console - Science - Temporal Disentanglement Suite Mk XV
	Console - Universal - Enhanced Tholian Tetryon Grid
	Console - Universal - Nukara Particle Converter
4 Tactical Consoles	Console - Tactical - Tetryon Pulse Generator
	Console - Universal - Tholian Webspinner Array
	Console - Tactical - Vulnerability Locator
	Console - Universal - Sticky Web
T6-X Universal Console	Console - Universal - Troyius Protocol

did I do this right? First time posting a build on here.

I recently ended a relationship with my best friend, maybe the best I have ever has, because I could not control an intense romantic desire for her to be my partner. She is in a long term relationship that will likely culminate in marriage, and while she has often expressed an interest in me deeper than that of friendship she would always give the caveat that she would not end her relationship to start one with me.
I respected her decision, but I couldn’t seem to get “un-in-love” with her into a platonic relationship. It led to me becoming jealous and resentful of her bf, and hurt by the relationship I could not have with her.
I tried to be happy for her but I couldn’t; without expanding in too much detail, her bf is an “I’m the main character” kind of person and is remarkably self absorbed.
Despite having an intensely close and deeply affectionate friendship, and truly kindred spirits in innumerable ways, I decided to end it because I could not ever see myself not wanting something more, not being jealous, not being wracked with negative emotions around her current relationship, or perhaps any other. Of course I’m now grief stricken by the loss of her, but I still feel that what I did was the long term healthy decision. I just feel so empty and sad about it, I’m a mess.
I don’t know if I am looking for validation or if I just needed to write this to get it off my chest. Maybe someone will tell me to grow up und stop being jealous, or learn how to just be friends, and I wish I could with her but I can’t.
TL;DR: I am broken hearted by my own volition and have no one to blame but myself because I couldn’t force myself out of wanting more than friendship with my best friend, but I feel like it was the “right” decision to go our separate ways. I miss her intensely and feel a giant void in my heart. Can the right decisions really hurt this much? Was it right?

I posted about this yesterday - an issue where the tractor drives fine on flat ground, and then if going down an incline starts to slow and comes to a stop, unless more power is added and then it lurches forward, and I can almost feel something hit the bottom of the seat. This is a husqvarna LGTH24V54 with a hydrostatic transmission. People last night thought it was the transmission dying, and that made sense.
BUT, this morning I go out to play with it. It has a lever you can pull to disengage the transmission and push the tractor by hand. Since this problem started, I have only been able to push the tractor backwards, and if I go forward it stops immediately. I learned that if I lower the mower deck all the way down to a 1 or 2, suddenly I can push the tractor forwards. If I go 3 or higher, it stops again. I’m certain the deck is poorly adjusted as I’ve been screwing with it, but the mower rolls both directions with the deck on the ground, and in the air the mower won’t push forward. This seems related to the above issue.
What on earth?
Any thoughts?

I had a major birthday so the church we've attended for 20+ years had a birthday cake in my honor after the evening service.
The pastor kicked it off by having everyone sing me happy birthday, then he came over, said happy birthday and left to talk to someone else. No one was waiting to talk to me, only 30 people in the room.
It made me realize that we've never had a conversation in 20+ years and he's never talked, one on one, with me, my wife or my two kids. All he knows of us is gossip from his wife and daughters.
It makes you feel like "a person to be tolerated so that that can better about myself" instead of someone to be cared for.

I put an RV on rural land to stay in on my off days while I build a house. The power company ran power which is set up. A well was dug/setup last week with a 1" brass female fitting coming from the pump/tank connections. I need to get water to my RV (about 250' away down hill at approx. 10% grade). I also need to get water to the house site another approx. 250' away in the other direction up hill at approx. 20% grade. I bought a couple No Lead Frostless Yard Hydrants with 3/4 inch connections. One for the RV and one for the house site. Our coldest temps are mid 20's maybe a month or two a year dropping occasionally into the teens 1-7 days a year. I live in middle Alabama where the frost line is 6". Code says bury the line 6" below frost line which makes it 12" deep. This doesn't require inspection where I'm building but I want things done right. When the house is done, the plan would be to come off the line close to the Yard Hydrant and go over to the house, maybe another 20'. There is a meter that was dropped prior to me buying the land 800' down hill, but I wanted a well. I thought about running a line to the meter as a backup but that's a lot of digging. My questions. What TYPE and SIZE pipe should I run to the RV and House site? If now or later I decide to trench to the meter would it be the same size pipe? I appreciate any help/tips. I'm a nurse and not a plumber. I will use a plumber for the house when I have to start taking out loans.

It seems like Sickened has no meaningful impact outside of combat due to retching:
​

You feel ill. Sickened always includes a value. You take a status penalty equal to this value on all your checks and DCs. You can't willingly ingest anything—including elixirs and potions—while sickened.
You can spend a single action retching in an attempt to recover, which lets you immediately attempt a Fortitude save against the DC of the effect that made you sickened. On a success, you reduce your sickened value by 1 (or by 2 on a critical success).

​
AFAIU, a player can retch any number of times, and there is no penalty for a critical failure. As a result, it seems like sickened outside of combat can simply be immediately removed or hand-waved as long as the PC has a few minutes to (safely) spend throwing up somewhere.
Is that accurate?

Affirmations are positive statements that activate your mind to change your life, one thought at a time. They support you in making the improvements you have chosen to make.
Affirmations work because the words of our inner dialogue have power: the power to instruct / direct our deeper selves. Their impacts can operate over wide time-scales, from immediate behavioural changes to the strategic development of our identity.
It is very easy to get them wrong - at best these will be harmless bit, in all likelihood, they will be counterproductive. It is also easy to get them right - follow the guidelines below and you'll be off to a flying start.
I encourage almost all of my clients to craft their own affirmations and use them regularly.
As with anything new, there will be a learning process as you find your own way to get the most effective results for you. The good news is that affirmations can be used anytime, anywhere – in or out of trance. A strategy of ‘a little and often’ will serve you best. They can be highly effective as you drift off to sleep.
Observe your responses to your affirmation. From time to time, you may become aware of a little inner voice countering the affirmation. Pay careful attention if this happens. It is quite likely that the affirmation is triggering a limiting belief. Use this as an indication to explore your values, beliefs and limiting beliefs to identify, explore and resolve the underlying issue, then develop the affirmation based on your new insight.
How to construct your own affirmations
When crafting the affirmations for your self-hypnosis sessions, follow these rules:
• Use your own, natural, language and imagery.
• Make them personal to you.
• Summarise them in a few words: 10-20 is ideal.
• Stick to one straight forward idea.
• State them in the present tense.
• Start where you are now and move yourself forward.
• State them positively – from where you are now to where you choose to be.
• Presuppose the positive change.
• Make them semantically packed.
• You may choose to write your affirmation a few times before using them.
• Affirmations are ideal for frequent, short, self-hypnosis sessions.
• Make sure each affirmation is true – untrue affirmations are counter-productive.
I have posted more quick reads over on my own little corner of Reddit – it would be great to see you there.

Trigger warning: if you like the movies, you may not want to read this post.
Seriously fuck. the. movies. I was 11 when the first one came out, and it was the first time in my life I noticed what bad acting looked like. People kept telling me oh no watch The Lady In Black! Daniel is amazing in that!
No the fuck he isn't. There were parts in that movie where I wasn't even sure what was supposed to be happening because Daniel staring blankly into space while spooky music plays doesn't really tell me much. My husband teased me at first, thinking I was exaggerating, but during the whole movie he ended up just groaning about how fucking bad this guy is.
And no, Emma Watson shrilly overexaggerating every line with her eyebrows perpetually raised is not good acting. At first I wasn't sure if she knew how humans actually talk to each other, then I saw an interview where she does talk normally and make normal facial expressions, she just doesn't do it on camera because she's a terrible actress.
"oh but she was good as Belle!" yeah because fantasy roles are all she knows. Saying Emma Watson is a good actress due to her performance as Belle is like saying Jennifer Aniston is actually a great actress because she did a good job playing the main character's love interest in a comedy. But at least Jennifer Aniston can take roles that aren't already tied to a major IP and still be successful. What prominent character has Emma Watson played that didn't already have a guaranteed audience? Not to mention she can't sing to save her life and it would have been really nice if Disney had just dubbed a better singer over her instead of the auto tuned shitshow we ended up with. Or they could have just cast an actress based off talent instead of family friendly name recognition, which is all Emma Watson is and ever will be.
Rupert Grint I'll forgive because he at least had the decency to go sell ice cream after the films instead of pretending he got cast based on acting chops and not because he won a lookalike contest. If only Emma and Daniel had that level of decency.
As for the direction of the film, they completely pulverized Ron; in the books he's so funny, always cracking jokes and making good comebacks, Harry and Hermione are constantly having to hold him back to prevent him from slugging Malfoy's bitch ass, he's insensitive but still caring in his own doofas way, and most importantly, he doesn't fucking blubber and whine every five minutes. I can literally count on one hand how many times Ron cries in the books, in the movies he's blubbing every five seconds and it makes me want to smack him.
I also really dislike how they portrayed Snape. How do you know whether or not a HP fan has read the books? Ask them if they think Snape is a good person. And I don't fault Alan Rickman for this because he was just following what was in the script, but the movies made him way too likeable.
You're not supposed to like Snape. The dude is a gigantic, flaming asshole. He literally tries to kill Neville's pet toad for his own personal amusement (and thats just one instance where he mercilessly bullies that poir kid), he calls a 13yo student an "insufferable know-it-all" and makes her cry for answering a question he asked (then punishes Ron for calling him out on his bullshit, but good thing the movies changed it to Ron going hEs rIgHt yOu kNoW just another way they ruined one of the best characters in the books), he hurls a slur at his best friend who was defending him against a bully, then he becomes a sad creepy old man obsessing over a married woman who wants nothing to do with him.
What makes Snape such a great character is that he's a portrayal of how loving someone can make even the worst person choose to do something good, even if it's out of character for them. Snape was a POS, but his saving grace was his capacity to love someone, even if the feelings were straight up unhealthy, and that ultimately is what saved the wizarding world. That's why he's such a well-written character, not because he's broody or mysterious like the films portrayed. There's nothing mysterious or broody about Snape. He's just a dick. That's why the twist with Lily was so damn good, and the movies completely watered that down.
And last but but least- WHERE IS PEEVES??? Professor Binns? Winky? Oh but good thing they invested their CGI budget into giving us some dumbass Jamaican head screeching on the Knight Bus and making the Death Eaters fly around in glittery stupid clouds that no one asked for, thanks a bunch Warner Bros. I get that it probably would have cost more to add the ghosts, but considering Harry's scar looks like it was done with a Sharpie and they clearly found their casting director behind a dumpster, I think they could have made the funds work.
Idk about the rest of you, but I am really looking forward to seeing HBO's adaptation. They did a good job with Game of Thrones (until the end ofc), so hopefully we'll finally see a decent adaptation of one of best fantasy serieses ever written.
Rant over. I feel better now.

Hi,
I will be travelling to South Africa in December. I would first start with Namibia and then heading off to Joburg for 2 days and another 2 days in Krueger National park, then would be heading off to Cape Town.
I'm doing my diligence at researching all the Do's and DONTs and think have pretty good idea where to stay, what to do. I will be travelling solo this time and I look more like Portuguese/Spaniard/Mediterranean. I would outline later in the post why I am bringing my appearance.
My questions are for people who travelled to JoburgCape Town, who lived there and know South Africa not just from internet search and from horror stories that we read. My questions from a 30+ solo male traveller perspective:

• How safe is it for me to brig a tripod in Joburg or Cape Town? Would it get stolen right away?
• Is it common to ask South Africans to take your picture or they would look at me like a fool? Is it guaranteed that my phone would be gone after I hand it to stranger? I understand to use a common sense and give your phone to other tourists take your picture or someone that could look like a reliable individual
• Nightlife as a solo person in Melville - worth it or no? i'm type of person that likely won't enjoy just sitting by myself sipping alcohol drink while watching others having fun - therefore, wonder is it worth it or no? I heard that Joburg after sun goes down is a BIG NO and Melville is not the safest place to be especially after dark, and curiosu to know those that have experiences Joburg nightlife by themselves - what's your take?
• As an individual not looking as your stereotypical Dutch (tall, Blond haiblue yees) but still being South European type of white - could it be similarly unsafe for me as for any other European tourist? I like walking and exploring the city (and I'm aware of Hilbrown and Yeoville type of neighbourhoods) , but If I were to walk in CBD without screaming "HEY I'm TOURIST WITH BACKPACK LOOKING FREAKING LOST AND FLASHING MY PHONE" do you see otherwise walking in CBD, Roseband, Sandton, Constitutional Hill, Gandhi Square areas being unsafe? I like taking pictures a lot as well - so would be taking a lot my phone to quickly snap a pick
• I like taking a public transport as I love merging with locals, any issues if I take metro or bus in Joburg? I would likely use uber for places that are hard to reach, but would love to use metro system as part of my transpaortation- what would your advice be?
• I will be joining the tour after at the Krueger Park for 2 days - wonder if anyone has any recommendation for the best places to book i..e booking in advance oniine, through a hotel or somewhere in the city?
• For Cape Town I plan to do a lot of hiking, Table Mountain, Lion's Head, Noordhiek peak etc. - safe to do these hikes alone pr better join groups? I'm thinking to join group as it would be more fun, but wonder if I want to do by myself is it safe or no?
• Same question for asking folks to take your pics, how are Cape Townians attitude towards that?
• How common it is to lay on the beach in Cape Town and which beaches should be avoided?

Thank you so much for reading over this post and taking time in answering those (likely) trivial questions in advance. I can;t wait to explore your beautiful country for that little time that i would be spending in SA>

A special thank you to the amazing u/SpacePaladin15 for this fun world.
A thank you u/ImaginationSea3679 y u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for helping me with plot stuff.
Sunday Time! Two chapters in one today!
[Prologue][Previous][Next]
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Memory Transcription Subject: Extermination Officer Tova
Date [standardized human time]: August 24rd, 2136, Late first claw
“Dad!?”
My shout was barely loud enough to go over the noise of blaring klaxons. I skipped alongside my father, his paws clasped around mine as he tried to pull me down the hall.
“Not much farther, Tova. Your mother’s waiting for us at the brid-” A panicking venlil stormed right through the hallway, sprinting right between my father and I, sending all three of us sprawling out onto the ground! The rude man didn’t even stop to help us back up, running a stampede right back through the swarming venlil!
“RUN! RUN! THEY’RE COMING! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I DON’T WANNA DIE!!”
Of course, he wasn’t the only one shouting; a mother crying for her pups, venlil screaming in panic, and the cries of pain: Many venlil having been trampled in the mad dash in random directions! The general fear was merely feeding into a grander self-fueling cycle of panic!
“My arm hurts,” I whine, watching my father spring up from his fallen position. He is barely able to move before the entire ship’s hull lurches to one side, sending most venlil careening into one of the walls, but thankfully for me, the impact wasn’t hard enough to break any of my bones. My father wasn’t so lucky, clutching one of his legs with a tight grasp, and letting out a pained whimper. “Splesh…” He groaned out, grabbing tight for a brief second before correcting himself. “Gah, sorry, shouldn’t have said that in front of you.” He chuckles aloud despite the pain and does well to maintain a cool and collected gaze.
I didn’t really care if my father had said a naughty word. I was more worried about the crooked state of his leg. It was bent at an old angle, and one part that was normally straight, his upper thigh, was actually bent as well.
It looks awful!
I crawled my way over to him as quickly as I can, wrapping my two paws around his wrists. “C’mon, we need to hurry! Please get up!” I tried to tug my father up onto his paws, but due to my smaller size, I wasn’t able to be of much assistance. “Come on, Dad!”
I try again to lift my father up but to no avail. The middle-aged venlil merely hobbles one step before collapsing back onto the ground. The other venlil all begin to stand up and swarm past us. I am thankful that they don’t manage to accidentally trample us beneath their paws.
“Come on, Father! It isn’t that much farther, just about fifteen more tails or so, and we’ll be safe with Mom!” My voice breaks as it raises in pitch, crying out in anguish and desperation! I give one last firm tug to my dad’s wrists, but instead of pulling the man upwards. He gives me a small shove, sending me falling down onto my hindquarters.
The sound of more screaming venlil fills the corridor as the taint makes itself known. A brief exchange of plasma fire is heard beyond the wall, but other than that, I could only discern the fact that the arxur have boarded.
“Go! Your mother can take care of you. She’s a good woman. Just go!”
I turn tail and make a mad dash with the rest of the venlil toward the bridge’s doors, stopping to look over my shoulder upon reaching the giant mechanical doorway, peering through the now-closed window.
Arxur by this point have begun to make themselves known, coming around the corner with speed! They don’t waste any time, jumping upon downed and injured venlil, and chomping down upon limbs and arms.
Their screams fill the hallway and leak into the bridge…
My father, despite his injury, reaches for a knife he likes to carry on himself, and readies the blade, waiting for the first Arxur to approach. He doesn’t have to wait long, for one is already barreling down onto him. Its massive jaws opening wide!
“Tova!? Tova! Tova!”
And within a moment, I am jolted from my nightmarish slumber by Quilix’s paws shaking my chest. He had a tight grip on my short wool, grabbing on firmly. I could feel his grip ease up the second he noticed an eye looking back up at him. “Y-you were screaming, so I… I figured I’d… I’d check up on you.”
The small and white venlil looked like he was on the brink of crying: Tears were coating the undersides of his eyes, which appeared to be puffy and orange. I was so enthralled with my nightmare - I haven’t had nightmares in years: Not one since I have been around Quilix, that I hadn’t remembered the past two paws very well, but when I did, I placed a paw against Quilix and gave the male a weak shove, pushing him off of me with ease. “Don’t touch me, I still have not forgotten what you have done.” I take a moment to adjust my messy wool. Quilix does the same, taking a moment to adjust the scraggly mess it had become within a mere two paws.
He still appeared to be taking care of himself, at least. I couldn’t say the same for myself. Normally, I’d take a shower after grueling work claws because I often got some grease or oil in my fur, but the past two paws had left me feeling ragged.
He nods to my words. “You should take a shower, my beautiful-” - “Don’t tell me what to do.”
The sharp, bluntness within my tone cuts down whatever Quilix was going to say. He lowered his head and tail before sheepishly walking out of the room. A part of me wanted to feel bad about seeing my mate like that, but I struggled to find that empathetic bone within me. It just wasn’t easy to take his words with any meaning after having that whole fiasco dropped on my head!
The insincere guile of hiding everything from me! Then he feels bad when I learn about it!?
It actually takes some effort on my part to not slam the door when I walk into the bathroom. I waste no time turning on the water to its hottest setting and slide back over the mirror. I stare at my reflection, loathing the mess that I appear to be; split ends, unregulated wool, drooping eyes, grease stains, and oil stains that have gone uncleaned. I felt like an idiot for not taking that one shower when Arwen was still sleeping.
Why does Arwen want Quilix and I to get back together so quickly? Is this a human thing?
I briefly pause, remembering something.
I mean, it isn’t like I could break up with Quilix. My mother would kill me, and I am fairly positive Quilix’s parents would do the same.
I should have just gone with Pasala to have my mind fixed. I spehing hate this. I thought my nightmares were over with… I’m not deserving of this second chance with Arwen.
I briefly rub my tearing eyes with my paws, wiping away the dampness that had built up underneath my two eyes. I take a moment to adjust myself, scratching a few itches and doing a bit more rubbing, and then finally hop into the hot water.
My muscles and mind relax under the pouring stream for a few minutes, letting it clear my mind and thoughts away like that of a morning’s rain. Then I go through the routine of shampooing, conditioning, and cleaning out all the nooks and crannies between my paws, ears, tail, and so forth.
Eventually, I turn off the shower and finish up with the rest of my cycle; drying, brushing my teeth and brushing my wool until it’s smoothed down. Finally, I walk out and head down to our living room. I may have not eaten over the past few claws, and I can feel myself grow famished.
When I enter the living room, I take note of the fact that Quilix is reading on his tablet. Something I seldom see the small male do. Normally, he does all of his reading and writing for his books on his main computer, which he has stored away in his office, so this was quite new to me.
His expression quickly shifts the second he sees me: ears perk up highly and his tail wags against the couch, but the expression is fleeting, falling not even a moment later, for he quickly notices my sour gaze landing right back on him.
Regardless of my disappointment, I still couldn’t keep my curiosity at bay. “What are you reading?”
My belated curiosity was enough for the male to perk right back up with a hopeful ear flick. “Well, Arwen and Trivi sent us instructions on what we should say when we go to acquire our visas to Earth, and what not to say to the humans. We’d probably get in trouble, but I’d be worried more about Arwen.”
“Just forward it to my tablet and I will read it later. I’m hungry.”
“You don’t want to read it with me?” His hopeful tone tugged at my heartstrings.
“No, I said I am hungry!” And like that, he was crushed right back down.
A part of me actually did want to read it with him. He was still my mate after the fact, but that was a very small part of me. I was still upset, angry, livid, even! I was also very, very hungry.
With another annoyed tail flick, I moved my way to the kitchen and fixed myself a snack, eating it at the dining room table. Quilix continued to look at me, holding out that I would join him on the couch, but once again, I would dip back to my room to retrieve my tablet, opening up the message from Arwen and Trivi.

Hello Quilix and Tova,
There’s been a small change of plans, but I won’t tell you the little details. What I do want to tell you is what you should and shouldn’t mention to the UN visa agent that came to Venlil Prime. Firstly, don’t mention the ranch, for obvious reasons…
If I were you, I’d talk about your passions, and claim that I mentioned one of them. I do recall hearing something about you liking swords, right?

I do like swords… How does Arwen know that?

Well, you could talk about some old medieval museums: St. Fagans is a good one to talk about. I’ve actually been there, but only because my father was a bit of a history buff. Hah! They have some swords on display and a really, really old sword. It’s about 1.45 Tails [870 millimeters] if I remember correctly. I figured you’d like to see it.

Wait, aren’t we supposed to be treated like cattle? Was that the change of plans? Oh… Yeah, forgot about needing to sneak through.

For Quilix, there are plenty of art museums, more so than medieval-based Museums, so I am pretty sure we can find something for him as well. Anyways, I will see you later. I assume the twenty-eighth? That will be roughly four paws from now. I do suggest you get your visas, it might be a day, or not…

I finally close my tablet, having finished the message. I sat there for a couple of minutes to process what I have been told. My mind wandering back and forth in trying to decipher if Arwen changed her mind, was toying with us, or was purely trying to sneak us back to Earth under a more wholesome-sounding guise.
I only knew her for about half a paw, and within that half-paw, it was mostly filled with that massage and poem reading, so really, I didn’t even know her at all, and she still wanted to go through with this!?
Either she really wants clothes made from our wool or actually is extremely serious about forgiveness. I think… I think I am leaning toward the latter. Could also be humiliation… Wait, didn’t she agree to Quilix’s original plan…
OH BY THE SPElSHING STARS!
I calmed down rather quickly at the small realization. Arwen was probably angry and just suggested that on a moment’s notice. She probably wasn’t thinking straight and said something somewhat stupid. That’s all.
That’s what I told myself.
I hopped up from my bed, leaving my tablet behind, and walked back into the living room. Quilix was still sitting on the couch, but staring blankly at the wall. “Not going to draw or write?”
Quilix had a way of getting everyone to feel bad for him, and it wasn’t even purposeful to my knowledge. He was just so small and helpless, so when his mood shot down the drain, it was like looking at an unhappy child. His tail was limp and he had a general malaise over his posture: body laying flat across the couch with the tablet screen down on his chest. “Don’t feel like it.”
Even his tone was lower and slower than its normal high and fast pitch.
Ugh… I don’t want to deal with him.
Despite my inner thoughts, I remember what Arwen asked of us. I really didn’t want to put up with my mate, but it was probably the right thing to do.
Or at least I hope it is the right thing to do.
Memory Transcription Subject: Extermination Officer Tova
Date [standardized human time]: August 24rd, 2136, Early second claw
It wasn’t a long drive down to the UN’s little building, but it really was an awkward one. Quilix and I sat in relative silence, unsure of how to start any conversation. It made me wonder how humans dealt with mate infidelity.
Do they force the pair to stay together, or do they just split up?
I knew that splitting up wasn’t really even an option. We had both of our parents’ blessings. My mother would be displeased if we split up, and she’d probably be angry if I did: Our vyalkit was made from not just my and Quilix’s wool, but also our parents, and their parents, and then their parent’s parents! My side was almost touching sixty-three generations, and Quilix was thirty-two. To break apart would be to desecrate multiple generations of honor-bound loyalty! How could Quilix do such a thing!?
It was nearly impossible to keep myself from crying in the car, keeping myself calm with cool and steady breaths, but with every thought that came roaring through. I worried that I would burst like an over-pressured levee.
Am I, not enough?
Does he not trust me?
How would he have acted if I had done the same?
Those thoughts rattled around in my mind due to my inability to distract myself.
Quilix was unusually quieter than normal, and for a moment I caught myself hoping he’d hum a melodic tune, but no sound came from him, causing the car ride to be unnaturally quiet.
No poems read.
No songs sang.
No conversations pulled.
This car ride practically resembled our horribly damaged relationship; empty, degraded, and silent. Though to be fair, Quilix had tried a couple of times to bridge the gap, and I just wasn’t receptive. I thought about speaking several times to alleviate us of this awkwardness, but every time I tried to speak, I remembered what I did to Arwen, or what Quilix had done to me, and with a pain in my chest. I remain quiet. Thankfully, the drive comes to an end.
“Ah, welcome to the UN embassy. You must be Tova and Quilix, right?” A human with remarkably dark skin of brown coloration greeted us at the door. He didn’t have any hair on his head like any of the humans I have seen but sported hair along his jawline. A mask covered the rest of his face.
Quilix and I both nodded.
“My name is Davian Karslon, it is a pleasure to meet you. I will have you know that I got your message. Now, if you would accompany me inside.” He gestured for us to come inside.
Quilix and I followed the big, human down a few hallways before inevitably entering a small office. He beckoned us to sit down, seating himself behind a wooden desk that looked like it was just placed down within the last day.
It probably was.
“I’m a bit shocked that we already have venlil applying for a visa, and you two in particular.” The male clasped his hands in front of his stomach, leaning back in his chair.
I wasn’t expecting an interrogation! I was expecting them to be like “Oh? A venlil wants to go to Earth!? We must be making good impressions!” Speh, what did Arwen want us to say?
“Arwen suggested we can learn more about humans if we come visit her at her home. She mentioned lots of things regarding museums, and as you know, I am a poet, an artist, and a writer. Now, I am no fool, for I know you humans didn’t show us all you had done within the last few millennia. You avoid things like meat eating for our sake, and showed us the book Frankenstein, which while simple, still had a good sense of morals: Don’t judge someone based on their appearance. I wish to learn more, and I can’t do that here. I’ve already read most if not all of the books you have given us that weren’t pups’ books.” Quilix came to my rescue, for I was on the edge of having a nervous breakdown, but him speaking allowed my thoughts to coalesce.
“Marvelous, it seems someone here loves literature to quite the great degree!” Even with the mask on, I could feel the human’s gaze shift onto me. I do my best not to flinch under the hidden, but binocular gaze.
“I uh… Arwen- Well, you see the federation isn’t really fond of things I like, and Arwen told me that there are things on Earth that I can’t find on Venlil Prime, The Cradle, or Nishtal…”
“And those things are?”
I take a deep breath. “Swords.”
“Swords?” Davian repeated. “Elucidate me.”
“I’m pretty sure you see a lack of swords, right? Well, that’s because we stopped making them because they were predatory, so now they pretty much don’t exist. However, I now own my great, great, great…” I waved a paw for emphasis, “Grandfather’s sword. The only other people that know are Quilix, Pasala, and my mother, but that’s because they like me, and a couple fellow exterminators. I… want to look at more swords and donate mine, because, unlike my father. I don’t know how to take care of it. I have instructions to take care of it, and I can read it, but I don’t want to risk damaging something of such importance to me. The most I have done is clean the blade.”
“I see, and how old is this sword? What’s it made out of? How big is it?”
I take a moment to think, counting back over the number of generations the sword has been within my family. “It was pre-federation contact and for about thirty generations, so roughly eight-hundred years?” “EIGHT-HUNDRED YEARS!?”
The man’s booming voice caused Quilix and I to recoil back in shock. Thankfully, nothing happens.
“What the hell is that thing made out of!?”
“I don’t know!”
Thankfully, that answer seems to appease the man. He relaxes right back into his chair as if he had never shouted. “Sorry, that’s such a long time for a blade.”
All I can do is shrug in agreement. “Anyways, it’s about just more than one tail [twenty-four inches] in length, so I have it stored in a chest at home. Used to have it in my office, but I didn’t want anyone seeing it after a while.”
Davian clicked his tongue against the inside of his cheek a few times, thinking up his response. “That’s all wonderful to hear. I’m quite surprised.”
Yes!
“But,”
No!
“I heard from one of your fellow Exterminators that you two had a bit of an altercation. Any reason why that was filed?”
Speh! Speh! Speh! I don’t know how to respond to that!
“Well, you see, Arwen arrived early two paws ago, and well, Tova walked in on Arwen and I snuggling on the couch, and mistook that as flirtation. The miscommunication has since been cleared up.”
If it weren’t for Quilix’s ears and tail giving him away like the fibber he was. I would have been caught off guard by such a lie! He never was a good liar. Actually, he was still a poor liar.
“I see,” the human nodded to Quilix’s answer. “Well, it was pleasant to meet you two. I will go check with my agent and see if I can get your stuff sorted. Again, it was pleasant to meet you two.”
Wait, that worked?
Well, with that out of the way. That just left introducing the idea to our parents… Scorch it, I just hope they don’t kill us.
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[Prologue][Previous][Next]
Heavily inspired by the likes of…
Pack Bonding
Foundations of Humanity
Mixed Signals (NSFW)
And I snuck in some lingo from Nature of Humanity
Don't Look A Human In The Eye
I highly suggest you check them out!!

How I relate (or don't relate) to all types

1. I tend to find corrections for things, and when I feel triggered by something, I may find ways on how to improve things. It's almost a natural tendency. I see a typo, I correct it in my head. I see that the menu in a restaurant is poorly designed, I propose ideas for improvement. I really fear being a bad person so I have to approach sensitive situations in a proper manner, or I may regret it after many years, as I tend to remember every bad experience, and I often end up regretting because I'm not careful enough. Much of my anger is internalized and while I don't appear critical from outside, I'm very self-critical, mainly because I see myself as rather flawed and everyone else is better than me. If I make a mistake, depending on the mistake, I may calmly fix it in one go, try to get over it by myself, or feel like a horrible person because of what I have done in the outer world. At my worst, I tend to see myself as flawed, defective, dysfunctional, and possibly mentally ill. At my best, I become more joyful, productive, and independent. I relate to the SP variant of 1 the most. I am not much of a hard worker, as I play hard, but I have some OCD-like tendencies such as checking to ensure everything is OK, and ruminating to find solutions because if I don't fret, I may easily forget and the problems will eventually find me harshly. That's why I'm so insecure because of my forgetfulness of important stuff. Writing down my worries has started helping me but I'm doing such a disgrace to myself because I really appear outwardly anxious, and everyone will be repulsed by that trait alone even if I have 50 desirable traits. I really need to practice self-compassion.
2. This isn't one of the types I consider myself, but I may really appear like a type 2 from an outside observer. I really care about being well-liked, and I would hate to be the one who is globally disliked. I am not really proactive when it comes to helping others but when there's an help request, I may reluctantly take the opportunity to help the other person because it's the good thing to do. Not helping may cause conflict and as a result, feeling defective and anxious. I am almost never seen as manipulative or possesive though so 2 (and 8) are not the types which I regularly consider. Relationships are important but it wasn't my main focus throughout my life as I was more directed towards curiosity and intellectual interests rather than people and relationships, and I pride myself on my individualism.
3. One of my biggest fears is being seen my others as a loser, and seeing myself as a worthless loser as well. I'm not really proactive and single-minded when it comes to being goal-oriented but I have my moments when I was more goal-oriented and accomplishing instead of just drifting, I feel happier and more productive. I care about external image but I may be forgetful about actually maintaining it, prefering to spontaneously adapt it instead. I may care a lot about social status, so I end up forgetting what is actually good for me, and whether or not I should actually pursue such popularity or success. I may be blinded by the prestige and fame as a result, and I end up feeling ashamed and dissatisfied with my own position even if I am just as accomplished, the grass is always greener on the other side. I care a lot about self-improvement and being the best version of myself, and I do the same thing for others. At my worst, I can really envy others and see everyone as high-class entrepreneur while myself as a village idiot who is completely defeated in life. Considering my ideal self, I become more competitive with myself and less with others, and I highly appreciate others' successes. I haven’t really considered myself as showy, and I can sometimes be too humble, but I can be rather showy when I’m trying to “prove” something or when I want ot appear cooler.
4. I am preoccupied with my identity and my flaws almost every day, to the point that I considered depression but it’s not the case. I have alwasy felt like I was less capable than others, so I felt different from others. Maybe because of my shorter height (which is just average actually) and I romanticise being tall so much that I have considered height surgery. I really envy others who seem to have an easier life because of their height, personality, status, location, or successes. I have even envied others who are not inhaling tobacco smoke as if second-hand smoking makes you inferior to others, mainly because of health risks. When I see heart disease statistics, I may envy others who don't need to worry about heart disease as much as I do because of unchangeable correlations, but I noticed that it's just hypochondria. I don't try to make others suffer but I really make myself suffer. I am utterly obsessed with enneagram/MBTI because I want to relate my identity in a bite-sized form and I also want to improve myself, and have fun relating to memes but I just can't seem to find my own type because I fit into basically everything, or nothing. I don't emphasize melancholy purposefully, but I really see myself as a melancholic old soul even if others disagree with my perception entirely. I think I relate to 6 more than 4 but SP 4 is still possible.
5. Throughout my life, I struggled with feeling less capable and more inept than others even if proven otherwise, mainly physical abilities, so I enjoyed PE classes more when I can be free to do whatever I want instead of playing a team sport. I really enjoy calisthenics and swimming as forms of exercise to improve myself, my health, my self-image, and to fight my negative emotions. I wasn't very talkative because I simply didn't find the right place for conversation during middle school. I was also bullied so that's why I felt weak and insignificant, which it added up to my low self-esteem. I have seeked information and saw it as more important than my physical needs, and I remember reading a science magazine and getting off the table ot read more and when my mouth is empty, I eat again. My interests may have been impractical but also very interesting. I became more talkative, social, and expressive over time but I'm still prizing individuality and independence. I really liked my alone time, sometimes more than socializing, so I may sometimes feel superior to others who don't really like alone time at all. I guess I have gathered information because 1- it's interesting, fun, and I love trying new things, and 2- I felt the need to feel more capable, if I can't be physically capable, then I'll invest in my brain instead. (which is actually fading and nowadays, I really value physical activity and sports, though it's still brain over brawn but more like having both)
6. I have felt like I'm a rather weak person because of my height, getting bullied, and many other factors. I was always safety-conscious but I'm combating this tendency by seeking new risks. I definitely wasn't the person who had done too many dangerous things but I have to admit that I have done them more than I initially thought. I tend to appear outwardly anxious but I hide my anxiety as much as possible to appear more desirable and approachable, but it just makes me more anxious until I actually appear outwardly anxious. I have always tried to find new ways to handle anxiety, such as writing my worries down, embracing worry instead of trying to fight against it, doing something I fear to feel confident, and many others. I have loads of fear of punishment, and while I may see myself as a diligent rule-follower, this is not always the case, in fact, I was quite rebellious at many times, especially if it didn't involve people. I was pretty conflict-avoidant though with people to not get into trouble but I was relatively unconcerned with seeking support from others unless I'm really anxious about something and even then, I primarily rely on myself first, then I turn into outer sources such as the Internet and then, I resort to other people around me. At my worst, I can easily be worry-driven and unable to see anything beyond it. At my best, I feel more relaxed, optimistic, joyful, and willing to try ot everything. I may avoid doing certain stuff because sudden worry can ruin the enjoyment of the moment. I am also rather indecisive and wanting to try out everything but at the same time, needing to choose the best option because it feels like we'll never come to the same place again. I also tend to be in extremes pretty often even though I would like to be more moderate in things.
7. I have to admit that I can be rather pleasure-seeking at times, and forget the essentials because of that. My grades used to suffer because of that but I relied on my ability to get things done fast last-minute to keep myself up. I put a lot of emphasis on positivity but I can end up being too negative myself, and feel lke being negative is wrong. I have a reputaton for being great at hard things but with easy and menial stuff, I may mess it up. I have had my rebellious moments mainly to discover something new with insatiable curiosity, such as drop-testing my items, mixing various bathing stuff, trying out private servers, and fascinating space simulators. However, while I'm considered as adventurous and curious, I'm not considered optimistic and always upbeat, which is far more important for being a 7. At my best, I am up for anything, and my ideal is to just have fun instead of being concerned about winning/losing. Basically, I work hard and play hard. At my worst, I criticize myself for not being careful or responsible enough. During my whole life, I pursued my interests and while I cared a lot about doing what I should first, I just end up instinctively do what I want first. Satisfaction and contentment is important, and I fear being deprived and trapped in pain, such as prison or death. While I'm not aggressive in a conventional sense, I may quietly do "stuff" to get what I want in order to avoid conflict but then, I may feel guilty if I feel like I don't deserve it.
8. This isn't one of the types I regularly consider. I'm way more likely to be an SX 6. But I absolutely hate doing things just because someone else told me to do it out of nowhere. It's such a disgrace for me, and it makes me feel inferior. Other than that, I can't really relate to 8's, maybe SO 8 is possible but nothing else. Oh, and I can be rather intense but not directly aggressive, and I don't express anger outwardly either.
9. I can be pretty conflict-avoidant because I don't want to feel defective, a bad person, or just ruin the enjoyment and peace. I am considered as adaptable, and I see myself in many types at once. I am more overly peaceful than overly violent, and I care a lot about likeability. I just hate hurting others and it makes me feel evil when I hurt them purposefully. When I hurt others accidentally, it may cause self-criticism about my ability to get along with others, and consider myself as mean or rude or selfish. But I don't relate to many of the 9 traits. For example, I'm more likely to maginfy some problems, and minimize others instead of being consistently minimizing. Which I can be positive, I can also be rather reactive and have a loud voice on accident. I sometimes feel lazy about starting because of my pleasure-seeking attitudes. I also relate to the stress arrow of the 9, as my mind starts racing out of nowhere. As for the 3 arrow, at my best, I become more productive and finally able to take action. I'm also pretty interested in things which are disturbing but I don't really talk about them to my friends unless it's already the topic, and even then, I may shift it into something more pleasant and joyful instead. I only really talk about my deepest negative reactions and fears with my family whereas with my friends, I prefer keeping things pleasant as much as possible, and hide any flaw to the point that I can be rather internally anxious about it.

Hi guys, I spent the past year trying to figure out how to create guides that introduce people to various elements of their psyche on psychedelics - thanks for your feedback on various elements of it and different versions over the past while.
​
I'm happy to share my first guide with you today for free. It's an audio guide on the topic of 'existing with yourself' - designed to help people take the first step towards self-love - simply letting yourself be as you are.
​
It's designed to be listened to on a low dose of LSD. I've also included a series of meditations for before and after and general guidance. Below I'm answering a few questions that you may have.
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Any questions/upvotes/feedback would be hugely appreciated :)
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"What actually is it?"
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The guide for the trip itself consists of 100 minutes of guidance to help you find your inner core and, from this safe position, observe the workings of your mind.
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For before your trip, I've included a meditation to help prepare your mind. For afterwards, there are a number of meditations to help you integrate the experience, and guidance on additional things you can do.
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"What does existing with yourself mean?"
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Well, it means spending a whole day just being with yourself. No agenda, no judgment, not even a desire to change anything. To float through all the emotions and feelings that make you, you - but just observing them, not absorbing them up, until you find your innermost self, your core.
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This practice can do a couple of things:
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• It builds a base of trust with the parts of yourself that are hurting. By simply observing these parts without rushing to change or judge them, it becomes easier to see them for what they truly are and deal with the underlying issues when the time is right.

​

• It gets you up close and personal with your deepest self. When life gets tough and confusing, we often lose touch with what's right or wrong, what's real or not. In those times, you can learn to get back to your core and just feel your essence, and things start to become clearer. Your inner self is both a sanctuary that's always there for you and your own personal compass.

​
"Why a low dose?"
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Often, when we investigate our minds, we come across defense mechanisms and patterns of thinking that prevent us from going to certain places.
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Many people try to blast through these defense mechanisms with a high-dose of psychedelics - to melt their mind to the point that they disappear - but an insight garnered in another world is often difficult to bring back into our world and your usual mind - notwithstanding the risks of doing this in the first place.
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I thought that, with extremely thoughtful guidance on different topics, people could have trips on a lower-dose that could potentially lead to transformative insights that are much easier to reintegrate into their lives.
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"Who's it for?"
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It is for anyone who wants to explore and expand their minds and hearts with the help of psychedelics and gentle guidance.
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It is for those, who understand that there are no quick solutions for any big quests in life and that all big quests start with a first step - such as simply spending a day to be with your inner self.
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"Why's it free?"
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I have been making guides about all kinds of topics for myself and my husband to help us on our psychedelic explorations for a few years now and it changed my life significantly for the better.
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I feel like others can really benefit from it just as much from this kind of directed approach and want to make it accessible to as many as possible. While I'd ultimately love to someday make money from this, all of my guides will have a free version that you can download.
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"Where can I get the guide?"
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You can find a link to it here: https://steel-helmet-8f0.notion.site/Odyssey-Guide-Self-Love-1-Into-the-Inner-Self-7387830c8bb840939e087b166ce2af87
​
"How can I help?"
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(okay, maybe you didn't ask this)
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If you decide to do this Odyssey, I would love to hear your feedback and the story of your adventure! You can find my email address also on the page above.
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If you know anyone who you think could benefit from this, I'd really appreciate it if you could share it with them also.

I just saw the clip about Default Mode Network and it made me wonder: does alcohol also turns off (or at least lowers) the default mode network?
I noticed last week when I had one beer before class that I would feel more confident at raising my hand and asnwer the teacher's questions without stuttering my speech. Would it therefore make sense if I have a big presentation to have a beer or something before (just a can)?
The reason I had a beer is because there was a party nearby the university so I had a beer during lunch and then went to lesson.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now, and have known from the start that he was bisexual, which I am as well. We have a great relationship, and we’re a very strong couple and I hope we continue to be.
When we first started dating, I was upfront in telling him that I had sex with one of my female friends the year prior. It was a one time drunken thing, we were both single and bi but have both since gotten into relationships, and we’ve addressed it openly so there’s no tension or romantic feelings there whatsoever. My boyfriend knows this and was fine with it when I told him.
However, on occasions when we’re out with his male friend group, he will very openly kiss them on the mouth and touch them in a funny flirty manner in front of my face, which I’ve never voiced that it bothers me but it does make me uncomfortable and feel like the butt of the joke when it happens, but I don’t want to be the girlfriend who says he can’t kiss his homies iygm. I never kiss my female friends in the same way, let alone in front of him as I feel it would be disrespectful to him and our relationship.
He is a very affectionate person, and I’ve also noticed he calls his friends (male and female) the same pet names he calls me. When I asked him about this before, he said he that’s just how he speaks to his friends but it’s different with me. I also once asked him if he’s kissed his friends since being with me, to which he said yes his guy friends but not his girl friends. I asked if he had gotten with any of his girl friends before, and he asked if I really wanted to know, to which I said no I didn’t. Now I don’t know if I should have said yes, given that he knows about my fling with my female friend last year, and I would have told him if there had been other similar instances with other friends, just to be open with him, but he seems to think it’s best not to know. But does this make me look stupid when I hang out with his female friends and they know they’ve kissed him but his girlfriend doesn’t?
The reason I’m coming to reddit now is that when I was out with his friends this weekend, one of his friends girlfriends was going around asking people to kiss her hand as a joke. My boyfriend told me not to because he hadn’t, and he found it kind of weird given her boyfriend was right there (that couple got into a fight about it afterwards too). When she was trying to get me to kiss her hand in front of my bf, he told her “she’s not a lesbian!”, and was adamant that I didn’t participate. This struck me as strange given that he would have been uncomfortable with me kissing another girls hand in front of him, while he was going around kissing his guy friends on the mouth in front of my face.
I don’t know whether this is worth pulling him up on, given his sexuality and the slight double standard in the way he acts with his friends compared to how I am with mine, but it does make me feel uncomfortable as I’ve been in a situation before where my ex was flirting with his female friends and did in fact cheat on me with one of them, let alone sexually harass some of the others. I know this isn’t the same thing, but given context I hope you can see why I’m wary of considering this just a jokey friendly thing.
Any thoughts would be appreciated, any of my female friends who I’ve spoken to about it have said that I’m within my rights to tell him it’s not okay and it is disrespectful to me, but I want to know I’m not being paranoid or crazy if I’m no longer cool with it? Thanks in advance!
TLDR; my bisexual boyfriend kisses and flirts with his male friends in front of me and it makes me uncomfortable

https://www.ft.com/content/11cb394d-a13e-4826-b580-823b9367fedb
TL;DR: Paragon is a company making basically the same spyware as Pegasus, but are only selling it to US and its allies so they don't get sued into oblivion. Ehud Barak is also on the BoD.
In the summer of 2019, as Paragon Solutions was building one the world’s most potent cyberweapons, the company made a prescient decision: before courting a single customer, best get the Americans on side.
The Israeli start-up had watched local rival NSO Group, makers of the controversial Pegasus spyware, fall foul of the Biden administration and be blacklisted in the US. So Paragon sought guidance from top American advisers, secured funding from US venture capital groups and eventually scored a marquee client that eludes its competition: the US government.
Interviews with half a dozen industry figures about the divergent paths of the two companies underline how the shadowy spyware industry is being reshaped around those friendly to American interests.
According to four of those people, the US Drug Enforcement and Administration Agency is among the top customers for Paragon’s signature product nicknamed Graphite.
The malware surreptitiously pierces the protections of modern smartphones and evades the encryption of messaging apps like Signal or WhatsApp, sometimes harvesting the data from cloud backups — much like Pegasus does.
Paragon was set up by Ehud Schneorson, the retired commander of Unit 8200, the Israeli army’s elite signals intelligence arm. According to people familiar with the company, which includes ex-Prime Minister Ehud Barak on its board, has secured investment from two US-based venture capital firms, Battery Ventures and Red Dot.
Paragon, Barak, Battery Ventures and Red Dot declined to comment.
In 2019, even before work on Graphite had been completed, on advice from a retired senior Mossad official, Paragon hired DC-based WestExec Advisors, the influential advisory group staffed by ex-Obama White House officials including Michele Flournoy, Avril Haines and Antony Blinken. Ex-US ambassador to Israel, Dan Shapiro, was also consulted, people with knowledge of the advisory effort said. Shapiro declined to comment.
WestExec said it “advised Paragon on its strategic approach to the US and European markets, as well as the formulation of its industry-leading ethical commitments designed to ensure the appropriate use of its technology,” adding it was “proud of our contributions in these critical areas.”
After the election of Democratic president Joe Biden in 2021, Blinken was appointed secretary of state, while Haines is now director of national intelligence. Both had departed WestExec by the time of the Paragon contract, the lobbying firm said. Flournoy — once considered in the running to lead the defence department — remains an influential US voice on foreign affairs.
American approval, even if indirect, has been at the heart of Paragon’s strategy. The company sought a list of allied nations that the US wouldn’t object to seeing deploy Graphite. People with knowledge of the matter suggested 35 countries are on that list, though the exact nations involved could not be determined. Most were in the EU and some in Asia, the people said.
“Everything they did was with the strategy that at the end of the day, the US should see them as the good guys,” said one person familiar with the decisions.
That contrasts with NSO’s recent troubles. By 2019, assisted by the regional diplomacy of prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu, NSO was a $1bn company selling its wares to Saudi Arabia, Mexico and dozens of other countries.
By the time the Biden administration came into office, NSO’s lucrative customers were proving to be its Achilles heel, as many of those regimes continued to deploy the multimillion-dollar weapon against journalists, dissidents and opposition leaders.
As evidence of abuse spread, such as the targeting of US diplomats in Uganda in 2021, NSO has found itself in the crosshairs both of the American government and the world’s largest tech companies. Apple and WhatsApp owner Meta are suing it.
“There is a growing sense that this particular type of malware is so invasive, so surreptitious that its proliferation poses both a human rights risk and a counter-intelligence risk to the US,” said Stephen Feldstein, who has studied the spread of spyware such as Pegasus and Graphite for the Carnegie Endowment.
For nearly a decade, the only restraint on some of the biggest spyware manufacturers was Israeli export controls, which regulate malware like Pegasus as weapons. Feldstein said that Israeli officials “make decisions on geopolitical solutions, not on human rights abuses.”
Paragon’s founders, however, were more sensitive to the increasingly dim view the US was taking of the proliferation of cyberweapons.
After NSO’s malware was tracked to the phones of associates of murdered Saudi columnist Jamal Khashoggi, Paragon declined Israeli government requests to replace Pegasus with Graphite in the Saudi armoury, according to two people familiar with the issue.
Paragon’s decision to eschew a valuable Saudi contract eventually paid off. Two other Israeli firms, Quadream and Candiru, which sold similar hacking capabilities to the Saudi government, were outed by Microsoft and rights group Citizen Lab after their malware was used on journalists and dissidents. Candiru was blacklisted alongside NSO in Nov 2021. Quadream recently shut down operations, the Israeli paper Calcalist reported.
The US has stepped in further to reshape the spyware market to favour those who sell cyberweapons to the US and its allies, while curbing those who chase lucrative contracts with authoritarian regimes.
President Joe Biden signed an executive order in March barring any US agency from purchasing spyware that “poses risks to national security or has been misused by foreign actors to enable human rights abuses around the world.”
The wording of the executive order is seen by experts as targeting NSO, while carving out a space for companies like Paragon to continue selling similar spyware, but only to the closest of US allies. The American expectation — still unproven — is that friendly nations are less likely to abuse such a weapon on civil society, or to spy on US government officials deployed abroad.
“It’s really making the case that the US believes that many of these kinds of tools are unlawful,” said David Kaye, who as the UN’s Rapporteur for Freedom of Expression spent years trying to hold the NSO Group accountable for its customers’ abuse of its spyware. “And if the proliferation of these tools is a national security problem, then that really changes the conversation from it being a human rights problem.”
NSO said it “does not believe that its placement on the [US Commerce Department blacklist] has ever been warranted,” adding: “ironically, other cyber intelligence companies who are not subject to the list sell to countries without any regulatory structure and that NSO refuses to make sales [to].”
However, the DEA’s purchase of Graphite, reportedly only for use by its partners in Mexico to help fight drug cartels, has begun to draw scrutiny. The DEA said it uses: “every lawful investigative tool available to pursue the foreign-based cartels and individuals operating around the world responsible for the drug poisoning deaths of 107,735 Americans last year.”
Congressman Adam Schiff, the chair of the House Intelligence Committee, wrote to the DEA in December asking for more details on the purchase. Mexico is among the worst abusers of NSO’s Pegasus which it bought nearly a decade ago.
Schiff wrote: “such use [of spyware] could have potential implications for US national security, as well as run contrary to efforts to deter the broad proliferation of powerful surveillance capabilities to autocratic regimes and others who may misuse them.”

I have naturally blonde hair. I bleached it about a year ago (I used to semi-regularly bleach it from 2013-2017 but it was all grown out at this point), then dyed it blue in October.
I didn’t realize that blue is the actual devil to get out!
Tried to bleach wash it in January, color barely budged. Went to the salon and after the entire crew mulling over what they should do, we decided on a copper semi-permanent dye to help tone it out? It just covered it, the blue came back through no problem. I did another session of copper, then one dark brown (I had given up on getting back to blonde at this point), then we did reddish again. Blue is STILL coming through.
Yesterday I decided to do a strand test with just bleach (30 vol developer) because I want to go back to blonde and leave it be and stop having to pay $200 every 6 weeks because…money. I was trying to avoid bleaching again but I figured i would see what it did. It lightened the reddish okay (the root area) and then…just left the green/blue behind.
Is it possible? Should I just box dye it dark until it grows out? I’ve looked at color-remover reviews and most of them say they didn’t work on blue. Should I try 40 vol? I used to do 40 pretty regularly and my hair never fell out or anything but it was definitely dry. I know no one would really recommend that but I would feel okay about doing it if there was a chance of it working.
TIA! 👩🏼

I had a venogram on Friday and diagnosed with MTS and a stent was placed (left common iliac vein). I have had very bad back pain since then. I have read this can happen for the first few days - can anyone please comment on how long it lasted for you? I was not expecting to have a stent procedure so did not have the chance to research or learn about this in advance. I am also concerned seeing comments that stents sized 18mm and larger can cause long term back pain. My stent is 18mm in diameter. If you have this size or larger please tell me your back pain resolved. I was extremely active prior to the procedure - running, weight training, yoga and right now I can barely walk a 1/2 mile :(

This morning I got a text at 7am saying, “Hi ___! How are you doing? I’m sorry about how I left things.”
First off, I didn’t even recognize the number and when I did a search it’s from someone I dated for 2 months back in Nov/Dec. I had met him on OLD and what ended it was he had a weird and abrupt personality change. One day we were planning to get tickets to a show and the next day he was pulling a ghost/not responsive to texts move. The fact that he did this during a big winter storm had me concerned.
A day or two later, I ended up driving the 2 hours to his house to collect some outdoor winter clothing I had forgotten and he literally wouldn’t answer the door. I had texted I would be coming to get my winter gear and he did not respond. There I stood on his porch clearly knowing he was in the house while his dogs barked incessantly! He finally came to the door and I smiled and told him it was a very immature way to end things and in his future he should try to be more honest. He stood there expressionless and mute. He handed me my stuff and I left. That was it.
I actually drove away laughing to myself at the absurdity of a 62yo man behaving like this. Because it was a very short dating period and I did have concerns about his “baggage”, I was disappointed with the way it was handled but felt no great loss. It was enough to drive me to delete OLD though!
So now, the message this morning. I have absolutely no interest in ever seeing him again but I also know that we all make stupid mistakes. Could it be that he just realized how immature he acted and feels a need to apologize?
My instinct is to send back a short note saying. “Thank you for apologizing. Hopefully some positive lessons came from this experience. Wishing you happiness for your future.”
Advice? Say nothing? Short and to the point text allowing him to relieve his conscience?
Thanks in advance for the kind opinions.

Don't get me started with God...
Anyways this is my huge truama towards religion...here it is👇
People of Christian faith always blame me or say something really terrible then the people that's not really of the so-called Faith
My pastor (from a another church ) told me that my rape it's gonna keep happening until I give my life to God.
And my sister friend from church basically told me that I let him rape me.
I really wanna cry because it like thoses people like that are only faking like they really care, just to force me to get into their faith.
Imma tell you how many times I've been raped... And etc...
I was raped 3 times (3 different times from 3 different guys), sexual corecion 3 times.. and to be honest I think I miss counting...I think it's more... I just don't wanna stop and actually think about each incident.
and for the rape part just add one more for ex bf.
Most of my rapes was basically by strangers and ( only a couple people that I basically saw in my neighborhood alot or someone I hangout out alot–(But I didn't really know them ….
The only person that I really knew was.… was my ex, bf..
( My ex bf is the only person I basically knew before he raped me.)
(And I truly feel like GOD DON'T CARE.. ABOUT RAPE OR ANYTHING LIKE IT.... )
(I HONESTLY JUST STAY IN THE FAITH BECAUSE I SO SCARED OF GOING TO HELL...
WHICH MAKES ME THINK THAT I HAVE
RELIGIOUS TRAUMA SYNDROME....
(IN NOT SURE... BUT IM BASICALLY SCARED TO DEATH TO LEAVE YE FAITH...(BECAUSE OF FEAR OF HELL....)
BUT I HONESTLY DON'T THINK THE BIBLE GOD CARES ABOUT RAPE... I REALLY THINKS THAT HE CONDONES IT.... AND OR DO ALOT OF GENOCIDE STUFF...
(Like I free like... My only free will now is my true opinions about GOD... And most of my opinions about him is not good....)
But I stay in the faith so I would go to hell...
And I have night terrors.....(while I'm awake..)
Because I get so scared and paranoid that I'm dying and thinking that The GOD of the bible is gonna send me to hell...
(So I constantly pray forgiveness... And pray for my ex bf ( that I really believe raped me..)
I pray for my ex--- (because in the bible is says this:
MATTEW 5:44
I SAY UNTO YOU,LOVE YOUR ENEMIES
AND LUKE 6:28
Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
So I don't just that... (I pray for my rapist... And I pray that he'll be ok and etc... By God..
(I really think my religious truma is getting worse.....)
Now I hear voices in my head... Like screaming people...(sorry if I starting to sound crazy..)
(I'm so scared..)--- I really feel like no matter what I do... I feel like I'm unforgivable....
And since I'm so scared that I might die... (I basically stay up all night...until 5am...---(around 5am...that's when I feel safe... And that's when I think GOD is not gonna hurt me..
And plus:👇👇👇
Yeah... And it completely sucks....(this Christain GOD is literally taking my joy away from life.
(Every since I gave my life to GOD/Jesus.)--- I HOPE TO DIE EVERYDAY ------BECAUSE OF HOW MISERABLE MY LIFE IS NOW.---( I GET SO SCARED AT NIGHT THINKING THAT IMMA DIE---I ASK HIM FOR FORGIVENESS LIKE EVERY SINGLE SECOND.)---AND I FORCE MYSELF TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT STARTING FROM 9 OR 10PM. ALL THE WAY TO 5 OR SOMETIMES 6 AM.
I FEEL SO SCARED AT NIGHT TIME BECAUSE THE SKY IS DARK AND FEEL LIKE IF I SIN... IMMA GO TO HELL THAT NIGHT.
BUT IN THE MORNINGS I FEEL MOSTLY SAFE AND I BASICALLY DON'T WORRY AT ABOUT THE WHOLE GOD THING..(BUT INSTEAD I ACTUALLY KEEP HOW I ACTUALLY FEEL ABOUT GOD–(THAT I DON'T LIKE HOM AND ETF, IN MY MIF BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE THAT STILL THE REAL ME VERSES BEING A ZOMBIE AND SERVING GOD.---(I FEEL SAFE THINKING LIKE THIS—BUT ONLY IN THE MORNINGS THOUGH.
AND SOMEDAYS WHEN ACTUALLY WATCH VIDEOS OF PEOPLE THAT STOP BEING CHRISTIAN AND TURN COMPLETELY AWAY FROM THE CHRISTIAN GOD, ---THEY SEEM SO HAPPY AND IN PEACE AND I REALLY HOPE TO BE LIKE THAT ONEDAY WITHOUT FEAR OF GOING TO HELL.
THOSES VIDEOS GIVES ME COMPLETE PEACE/ AND HOPE IN MY SOUL WHEN I IMAGINE GOD OF THE CHRISTIAN BIBLE IS NOT REAL AND STUFF…..---(BUT WHEN IT NIGHT TIME---I FEEL LIKE IM IN HELL ALL OVER AGAIN..---SCARED TO DEATH I STAT TO PRAY TO JESUS AND START ASKING FORGIVING MY SINS…..
AND THIS GOES ON EVERY NIGHT....(EVER SINCE I GAVE MY LIFE TO GOD/JESUS.)---MY LIFE HAS ACTUALLY BEEN HELL .. LIKE FOR REAL.---(MENTALLY)
AND SOMETIMES I CAN'T LOOK AT LIGHTS ON THE CEILING BECAUSE —(I DON'T HAVE MY GLASSES RIGHT NOW, AND THE LIGHTS LOOK REALLY BLURRY,---(AND I STARTED TO THINK IM DYING BECAUSE OF HOW BLURRY MY VISION AND HOW THE LIGHTS LOOK LIKE… —( WHEN I WAS AT THE POOL WITH MY TWIN SISTER, I HAD FUN UNTIL I NOTICED THE LIGHTS IN THE BUILDING LOOKED BLURRY)----I GOT SO SCARED I COULDN'T EVEN HAVE FUN AT THE POOL AND I WANTED TO LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!---THIS IS BASICALLY THE FIRST TIME I HAD MY EXTREME ANXIETY ATTACK ABOUT GOD IN THE MORNING.---I NEVER REALLY HAVE ANXIETY/FEAR OF HELL UNTIL NIGHT TIME… BUT THE FIRST TIME IN THE MORNING WAS AT THE POOL WITH MY TWIN SISTER….--(WHEN I SAW THE LIGHTS ON THE CEILING LOOKED BLURRY)
THIS IS COMPLETE TORTURE!!!!!!
I WANT MY REAL LIFE BACK!!!!---BUT SINCE IM SOOO SCARED OF GOING TO HELL I JUST STAY IN THE FAITH.
(Even though deep down I would wanna leave SO BAD)--LEAVE COMPLETELY AND NEVER TURN BACK.
IM SO DEPRESSED NOW, I'M LOSING WEIGHT, AND LOSING ALOT OF NIGHT SLEEPS,----I ONLY SLEEP IN THE MORNINGS NOW.😭😭😭😭.
TW: DEATH THOUGHTS/NOT SUICIDE THOUGHTS THOUGH!!!
I'M SO MISERABLE I HAVE THOUGHTS OF WHAT IF I DIE--THEN MAYBE THIS TORTURE WOULD BE OVER.
I honestly don't feel like I have a choice:( if I walk away from the Jesus God)
Then I go to hell.
I just want this to be over....