Hi, five days ago I had bilateral laparoscopic mesh inguinal hernia repair surgery with a bonus vasectomy, and I want to share as much info about the procedure as I can recall while everything's still sort of fresh. Reading Reddit experiences was very helpful in my preparation. I'm just going to scribble down the basics for now, but I'm happy to edit and respond to any particulars and changes over time...
PRE-SURGERY. I had a routine colonoscopy early this month, and the prep for that was definitely way worse. The day before surgery, I packed my hospital bag for an overnight stay (slippers, chargers, devices, cables, food (unnecessary) and a pillow (glad I had it)) My surgeon called to confirm I wanted the vasectomy and hernia repair on both sides. I got all the last-minute questions answered, too — do I need to show up ready to pay something (no), is there a chance I'll be catheterized to pee (miniscule). Great. My left hernia was more of a weakness than a proper hernia, I wondered if I should wait until it got worse to come back... maybe the mesh and lapro tech will be better in 5 years? Surgeon said no, probably not worth banking on that, so I said sure to bilateral. Then I ate some Thai food and went to bed early.
DAY OF SURGERY (DOS): Left home at 6:30 a.m., got to hospital before 7 a.m., went very quickly through intake, changed into gown, took a painkiller (Novalgin/metamizole, didn't know what that was). Then was wheeled off to a little pre-operating room with anesthesia people. Nice woman asked if I picked out some good dreams. They strapped me down. I don't know what happened after I left that room but I was likely in the O.R. by 7:30 a.m.
About 9:45 a.m. I came to in post-op, lower abdomen had been totally shaved, I had three small bandages and my mouth was dry. They monitored me and within an hour my hospital bed was wheeled up to my room. The room was reserved for two nights, but my surgeon said I'd probably only be there for one. They took my pulse, blood pressure, and temperature again, this was done pretty regularly, every hour or two. So far no pain, I felt pretty good. They wanted me to fill a jug with urine, no problem doing that.
Around noon I ate some potato soup or something and a piece of bread. I drank about a liter of water that afternoon. For dinner I had two pieces of bread, a little soft cheese, and a yoghurt. Lots more water. Pain level was like a 1-2 on the 1-10 scale. More discomfort than anything, because I had like zero muscle power from belly button to hips. It's wild.
Surgeon came, said it was all a success. Left hernia was way worse than expected, so good thing I got it done. "Oh, by the way, don't be alarmed if your testicles swell up and turn blue or purple, totally normal!" Er, okay... He said tomorrow I'll feel like I did 10,000 situps. Anyway, I was cleared to stand up with a nurse. No problem there. I went to the bathroom in my room very slowly a couple times. Nurse cleared me to walk the floor with hydration fluids attached. No pain, was glad to be mobile. Nurse cheered me on, said it was important to move. Next nurse emphasized taking it easy, so no consensus there.
First night, I slept a normal amount of time, but it was in shifts. Maybe three hours on each side, another hour or two in some other position. It was hard getting comfortable, but wasn't painful, just felt like pressure.
This whole time I was only taking half my pain pills and stashing the rest. Turns out they were just metamizole and acetaminophen, but I didn't know that at first.
DOS +1: I was seen by surgeon and discharged by about 8:30 a.m. Took a shower first without any help. I took the bus home so I could stay standing. Sitting in a car would have been hell, let alone getting in and out. Couldn't carry anything at all. Came home and managed to lay down in bed. So far pain still in the 1-3 of 10 range. I had been expecting worse. Getting up and down from a bed was not easy but walking around and eating a little normal random food was not hard.
Twice when taking steps after getting out of bed I experiencing searing pain like 4-6 on the 10 scale. It was momentary, but I had to stop moving and take deep breaths. I attributed that to some kind of gravity settling things.
Ice packs on my abdomen felt GREAT. Again, slept through the night in shifts, moving carefully from side to side to get comfortable.
Took maybe 3-4 Advil this day. My leftover metamizole was awesome, pain totally vanished with that. I took two all day.
DOS +2: Mostly still in bed, a couple sharp stabbing pains again when standing after being in bed. This time 4-5 on the 10 scale, so already less alarming but I was still holding the wall for support for a few seconds. I worked on a computer for a few hours, standing for most of it. Still very weak in the midsection, getting in and out of bed using arms and legs. I was getting freaked out about constipation, only eating liquids, oats, and prunes. Sitting on the toilet didn't feel comfortable. They tell you not to strain, but it wasn't really an option, still no abdominal strength at all. Took 3-4 Advil just to stay ahead of any pain.
DOS +3: A friend was in town from overseas, so I sucked it up and got up and hobbled around town for a few miles. Drank a beer. First bowel movement since day before surgery came mid-afternoon, HUGE relief, after that I was over the hump I think. Went out for dinner. Winced a lot but wasn't really painful beyond a 3 at most. Took 2-3 Advil for the day.
DOS +4: Tried to take it easy. Two Advil all day. Felt one disorienting rush of discomfort but smaller still. Otherwise recovery seemed to be progressing. All new to me.
DOS +5 is today. Definitely still hammered but my midsection can handle motion again, getting in and out of bed quickly. When I put my hands on my belly it feels tender but not alarmingly swollen or damaged. I think I'm healing. Already I feel like I'm exiting the experience, though. I can pick things up from the floor, that wasn't remotely possible two days ago.
And that's my story so far. I hope the numbing details help you sleep. I hadn't stayed in a hospital for my own care since I was born, so I didn't know what to expect. I don't know if I'm still fertile, hopefully not, but I do know as far as the hernia repair I already feel like I'm better held together, even if my lower abdomen is hamburger for the moment. Good luck with whatever you're in for!

⚠️ THIS IS YOUR TW!! TOPICS OF SA WILL BE MENTIONED ⚠️
My nMom (Most likely FLEAS and/or an undiagnosed BPD or something like that idk but her behavior is absolutely toxic) absolutely cannot stand criticism to the slightest. She feels the need to be right at everything. Even if it's scientific facts she'll not listen to it. And of anyone tries to prove her wrong, she'll take it as a personal attack.
Well, this morning as I was getting my breakfast, she was arguing with my eDad about how the lights were off in the other room. My dad and I were just telling her that we should turn them off because of the electric bill and for the environment. We cannot keep affording to leave lights on when unattended. But my mom kept snickering back at us and took ir personally. I was just meh about since I know how Narcs work. Until. ........
Well, as my dad leaves the room to go check on my grandmother, my mom literally turned to me, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "You know (my name), maybe the next time your dad walks into the bathroom with you showering, I should just allow it then." I was stunned. Sure this may not seem like a big deal to anyone and I could just be over emotional about this but......I was a victim of SA. I was SA'd since I was 6 years old all the way up to the age of 15 by a family member (Please don't ask me which member in the comments. It's such a complicated story that has destroyed me). She fucking knows this and the fact that she said something like that makes me infuriated. Literally I cannot even finish my food and I am shaking from anxiety as I write this. God, for her to say that she might as well watch me get "Graped". I'm over this shit. I just wish my family life was normal and healthy.
P.S; For further context, my dad once walked in on me showering. He may have apologized for it but I was still violated. I kept telling him that night to get out but he kept standing there. It's sick to think that my mom actually defended me that night yet she would say shit like that to me this morning. Also not to mention, I was catcalled quite a bit when I was younger and my mom would just laugh. Oh and no my dad wasn't my SA abuser it was someone else. But please I really don't want to get into that. Thank you.

Tokyo - Yokohama - Nagoya - Kyoto - Osaka - Tokyo

Hi all, going to go through our trip covering golden week and time around it (: It was myself (F21) and my partner (M24) and the reasoning behind the timing was mainly due to bank holidays in the UK being unfortunately placed perfectly in line with golden week this year! Despite this, I feel we actually got pretty lucky with it all. I'll put an emoji to note which days were for golden week but for the tl;dr we weren't affected that much.
Other important contexts, both interested in Japan for a few different reasons. Anime isn't a small one but I'm also a huge fan of the Yakuza games, he's into the JDM car scene, and we just enjoy travelling in general. We didn't do many things like Universal, Disneysea etc. but hopefully there's some things in here that people will enjoy hearing about! I'll go through some tips/recommendations for the casual readers first before going into the trip in depth - please let me know if there's anything else you want to know about!

Tips + Recommendations

Yamato Takkyubin Luggage Forwarding If like us you are going to be staying in quite a few different places, this service is so so so good I cannot overstate it. We had two big suitcases and one smaller one, we sent just the big ones for two of the trips and then for the final trip from Osaka to Tokyo we sent all 3 and just used our backpacks to bring essentials for the night.Pretty much all hotels will allow you to use the service, some may request you pay them with cash for the actual service but for all but one of ours we could use card. We sent Yokohama -> Kyoto, then Kyoto -> Osaka, then finally Osaka -> Tokyo. There are options for same day delivery I believe however we did both the next day and for a few days later. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments and I'll answer if I can!
Trip Planning I've been fortunate to be able to travel a lot so wasn't nervous about the actual travel, however Japan is such a far away country that I didn't want to go and get there then not know what to do and waste my time. In the past holidays with family were more about relaxing on a beach, or with my partner our city breaks are short as they are other European countries and so easier to return to if we wanted. I wanted to take a different approach to this trip so I made a big Google Sheet and Google Map with all the places I wanted to visit/see. It was never meant to be a strict itinerary as some people I showed seemed to assume 😅 But it really helped me to visually see where things I wanted to go to were, and then make a rough plan in case I did get stuck at some point.Anyway it was a really good idea in hindsight and I'm very glad we did it for this trip as our first time going! Here's a picture of the map looks like, we didn't necessarily do everything but we did most things - https://i.imgur.com/2xLyy7Y.png. I used mymaps.google.com, to be honest there's definitely betteeasier to use tools out there but I got this to work for me so I stuck with it.
Walking People aren't kidding about the amount of walking, although I think our top amount was still under 30k so don't worry too much. That said, if you don't walk a lot anyway then your feet are going to hurt. My partner was fine, I was awful. I thought my shoes would be fine and apparently they weren't so if you can pack walking boots please do. The other thing is I think the way you walk affects it too, my partner and I both had multiple pairs of shoes with us but where his converse boots were fine, the soles of my feet were awful in the same types of shoes 😭
Driving I am not a driver but my partner is. He has a full manual UK driving license and insurance, and so for Japan all he needed was to get the International Driver's Permit a little before we went. We rented a car for three different occasions, two times from the same place then the final was for a JDM rental. All was fine, the JDM place was confused for a moment as my partner has a Polish passport + UK license but we translated Poland for him and after that there were no issues! You'll need to check what you need depending on where you're from, it's easier for us due to the same driving side although when we rented for Daikoku and the Nagoya drive they did give us an automatic so just be aware of that if you want to request/drive manual. The rental places we used were Orix rent-a-car for the Daikoku and Yokohama -> Nagoya trip and we had a Mazda 2. For the JDM rental we used Omoshiro.

Trip Report

Tokyo

25/04 - Airport, Shinjuku hotel, Shinjuku We followed a similar first day that I'm sure many of these reports will begin with - arrived at the airport, we had filled out the VJW forms and had both QR codes ready to go. Immigration had about an hour wait so longer than normal but we were also near the back of our plane and there was at least another full plane in front of us. Actually going through immigration was a complete breeze. Once through and picked up our luggage, we got a Welcome Suica, then headed to Shinjuku. We reached our hotel about 4 hours early for check-in, wasn't sure what to do for that time but they were happy to take our bags until we could go to the room (something that is consistent with all the hotels we went to thankfully). Jetlag was pretty bad, I was flagging by afternoon but we pushed through it and took the few hours to just walk around and see the sights. We spent some time in Hakone-yama before heading back to the hotel and getting cleaned up/accidentally falling asleep too early.
26/04 - Akihabara, Golden Gai Of course woke too early by not being as proactive as we should've with warding off jetlag but used that to leave early for Akihabara. After getting some breakfast we saw the Yodobashi Camera and went in there for about an hour just looking at all the floors 😅 It was raining a ton but it surprised us with how warm it still was and quickly realised why people prefer umbrella with no raincoat!! Spent pretty much the whole day in Akihabara, went round a ton of shops and also went into our first of many many arcades we'd go to. We went back to the hotel to return the items we'd bought then walked to Golden Gai as our hotel was about a 15-20 minute walk ^^ Had some delicious ramen, unfortunately didn't drink as my partner was finishing antibiotics for the first few days but it was still great to be there. Slept a lot later which was good.
27/04 - Kabukicho, Shinjuku National Garden This was more a day for me to fufill my Yakuza game sightseeing. Being so close to Kabukicho I was so excited to visit a city and be able to make my way round without a map loool. It was just the end of the blue festival so the iconic arch was still blue although I did get to see it red at the end of the trip so I wasn't too bothered about that. We went around Kabukicho, the square, again spent tons of time in the arcades and discovered how much we enjoyed the MaiMaiDX machines. Ended up getting one of the passports that save your progress and give you an extra play so if you like arcades then I recommend them!! After this and some lunch, we were going to do a walk to the national garden then realised I went the wrong way so we took the train. As a side note here, the Suica and train system is so useful. Very similar to using a card for the underground except it's actually clean. Walked around the national garden, it was very sunny and warm. Didn't know it had it before going but there's a starbucks in the middle of the garden and we managed to join the queue about 10 minutes before they stopped taking new orders. Had a nice time watching the sun set in that garden before heading back to the hotel.
28/04 - Teamlabs Planets Wasn't something I was going to initially go to however I checked out tickets the day previously and saw some for this day and decided we could do it as we had a ton of free time. I had chosen 2:30pm for an entrance time however it was such a nice day so we left early and spent time just walking around the docks. It was so so sunny, the area didn't have loads going on however it was still very pretty. We spent time in the parks and walking alongside the water. Teamlabs was pretty cool, I did enjoy the water based sections although dodging both influencer and family photos might detract from your experience. This was also where I realised I'd already become the stereotype tourist and was sunburnt :') I guess I had to learn my lesson physically and I did thankfully stop any further burning after this with diligent sun cream appliance afterwards pretty much every day. After this we went back to Shinjuku and after food we packed up ready to go to Yokohama.

Yokohama

29/04 - Bashamichi, Daikoku, Cosmo Clock ✨Showa Day Left our hotel at 11 and hadn't yet discovered the wonders of luggage forwarding so we brought all our bags with us on the train to Yokohama! Not too bad though, we got to our hotel a little early but they took our bags as we went and had lunch before the room was ready. Went around Bashamichi (another game location lol) before taking the train to central Yokohama. We had pre-booked the rental cars all before we left to ensure availability but there weren't any problems. This was also my partner's birthday which is something the rental staff realised whilst we were sorting out all the documents 😆. For Daikoku, we didn't need to pass through any ETC gates from Yokohama but it was the first time on the Japanese roads. It was a little nerve-wracking at first as there's very slightly different rules to UK roads but in general driving is fine. We reached Daikoku PA around 20 past 6pm, and it was about 2 hours until police moved everyone along. My partner was in dreamland with the cars that we saw, if you're into the JDM scene at all or just a petrolhead then you'll love it but it is a bit of luck with what you'll see. After we left Daikoku, we went back to our hotel. We'd checked in with them previously that we could keep the car with them as the hotel we had chosen had parking available for an additional cost. We left the car at the hotel then went out for drinks and to see the cosmo clock. Didn't ride it but it was very cool seeing it all lit up over Yokohama. We bar hopped a bit, then went back.
30/04 - Recovery... Not much to say about this day, my partner was fairly hungover so we returned the car to the rental place and then spent the day just chilling at our ryokan hotel and around Yokohama. No drinks this time round as we had a very long trip the next day!!

Nagoya (Road Trip from Yokohama)

01/05 - Expressways, Onshi-Hakone Park, Expressways, Shinshiro, Expressways, Nagoya I'll condense this one a bit otherwise I'll type forever but this was a really fun time. The driving totaled almost 6 hours by the end so it's not for the faint hearted haha. The point was that we'd stop a few times along the way though which is what we did end up doing. We sent our luggage with the forwarding service (to the hotel after Nagoya as we were just staying the one night), then had an early start as we went to the car rental for 8. We chose the same place we rented from for Daikoku and had the same sales rep sorting out any documents so it was a bit quicker although this time we did get a quick explaination on the toll gates. Anyone going on the expressways will need to know how to use them, we were a bit confused the first time but once you've done it a couple times it'll be smooth sailing (and it's such a good system for people with the automatic cards too). We left Yokohama and set our location for Nagoya. We went for about 2 hours before stopping in Odawara for a quick snack and pee break. Pretty overcast day but despite this we still decided to do a stop in a park on the way and went to Onshi-Hakone Park. It was very cool/bit scary going up the winding mountain passes but wow the views are incredible. We spent again probably a couple hours at the park, had some lunch, no view of Fuji but we could see a lot of the other mountains around which are breathtaking in their own rights (: It's right on Lake Ashi so we did get to see the pirate cruise going round. After this break we did another couple hours or so driving before stopping slightly outside of Shinshiro. Something I will say about the expressways is that it is insane how fast people go 😂 We're not about to try anything so it was sticking to the 120 on the signs for us but people just whizz by. Anyway, we stopped at a familymart in this village for a quick break and I know I've said it already but the views are so beautiful. It's green in the UK but it's something else, I kept wondering if it's just viewing through rose tinted glasses/greener on the other side but I don't think that's true at least about those countryside views. It was also one of the reasons we wanted to do the road trip instead of train at least this time round, we could stop in these places and take it in. After our stop there, it was back onto the expressway until we reached Nagoya. It was roughly 6pm when we reached Nagoya, we had intially booked the car for the whole day with return the next morning but they allow early return with Orix so we did that instead before finding our hotel and having some dinner. Not too much time in Nagoya but it was the first time seeing the bullet train which was cool. Nagoya itself has some nice sights, we were thinking about going to Liberty Walk the next day but instead we just decided we'd head to Kyoto once we left the hotel.

Kyoto

02/05 - Shinkansen, Kyoto, Nishiki Market It was a really lovely day and we were taking the shinkansen for the first time. The shinkansen from Nagoya is only 34 minutes but we did end up buying reserved seats as the station was pretty packed. This is probably the main thing we noticed with Golden week, everything else was busy but not insanely so. Nagoya station was a lot busier but otherwise fine. We didn't have JR passes as when I used the online calculator it didn't come out to be worth it for our particular travel so it was full fare for us. The shinkansen itself was good, we would be using it again for Osaka back to Tokyo but due to Nagoya being closer to Kyoto I didn't reeeally think I'd need to book early. It's probably a good idea still lol but it worked out fine for us to book same day despite how busy Nagoya was. Once in Kyoto we took our time walking down to our next hotel. This was another ryokan style so that was nice, we also passed a garden which we noted to go to the next day (Shosei-en Garden). Our luggage had arrived and was waiting for us at the hotel already so we got refreshed then went out for the evening. We went up to Nishiki market then walked back towards our hotel again. Had a sushi train small dinner as we hadn't had any sushi yet and I've also only had a train once before. It might not be the best Kyoto had to offer but wow was it still better than anything I'd had in the UK!! We then spent hours once again in an arcade, if you like games the MaiMaiDX machines really are addictive :')
03/05 - Shosei-en Garden, Higashi Hongan-ji, Tō-ji Temple, Nijō Castle✨Constitution Memorial Day We woke up early, had breakfast at the ryokan, then went straight for the garden. It was a beautiful day once again so plenty of suncream applied. The Shosei-en Garden isn't the biggest but it's so beautiful, they have this pond that looks so still but my partner spotted a turtle and then you start to see more and more. They have some historical buildings around the place, we spent about an hour there before going to the next place. We walked down the road to the next place, this was Higashi Honhan-ji temple. Both locations weren't really that busy to be honest. Seeing this temple was nice but personally I did prefer the gardens. We next went Tō-ji temple. This is one of those locations that are on the 'must-do in Kyoto' but I did like it a lot. The 5 story pagoda was a cool sight. It wasn't so busy although we were going around lunch time so hungry crowds were likely taking a small break (: We spent an unreasonable amount of time just looking at the koi fish in the moat not even in the temple area 🎏 Finally we went to Nijō Castle. This was quite busy although we were one of the latter groups going around as it was nearing the end of the day. Another of the listed must do's but again I would say it's a cool place to see. If you do go, the tour around the main house is interesting and if you decide to climb the walls there's some nice sights of the area around. We finished up this day heading back to the market area and had dinner including a matcha beer. I'm not really a massive matcha person but I was up for trying all the different things, the beer sort of just tasted of normal beer but it looked exactly like a matcha-green coloured guinness.
04/05 - Arishiyama ✨Greenery Day This wasn't really a packed day as we were heading to an airbnb for a couple of nights. We used the luggage forwarding from the ryokan where they were concerned that we wouldn't get our luggage as soon as we wanted due to Golden week. I then let them know we were looking to get it sent for the 6th and they completely relaxed and said that would be perfectly fine 👌 For context if you've not been to Kyoto, the train system is alright but pales compared to Tokyo. Getting to our airbnb wouldn't be too long, about an hour, but as we didn't really have anything planned and only had our small suitcase with us we decided to walk to the next airbnb instead and waste time along the way. This way when we arrived it wouldn't be before check in time and it would keep us out and about. The walk was about 3 hours total although we lengthed it by stopping a few times. There were some celebrations happening due to Greenery day and Children's day being the next day. We stopped to listen to some music, stopped to have a starbucks, then finally we reached out airbnb in Arishiyama. The place was really nice, and it was fun to have a whole place for a few nights instead of a hotel. If you're wanting to, looking at airbnb's is a completely valid option when staying in Japan - you just might get warned before you arrive not to talk or laugh too loudly or the neighbours might complain/call the police 😅
05/05 - Fushimi Inari Shrine ✨Children's Day Initially were going to do both the bamboo/monkey forest and Fushimi Inari but ended up leaving a little later than planned so just committed to only Fushimi Inari. I was expecting fairly large crowds considering the day and the station was..... not great. That said, the station was very small and so although it was crowded we were also out of there fairly quick. This review of Fushimi Inari is going to follow almost everyone's - it was busy at the bottom and as you go up you'll get a lot less people. Even it being Children's day didn't stop us getting moments of just myself and my partner being alone so don't be deterred if the bottom is busy! Beautiful views, we did the full routes going to the top. It was a bit tricky at times but it's not a race, and you'll feel good doing the full thing. We reached the top, were able to partake in the prayers there, then had a great time going back down. There was a little area near the end with a bunch of cats; we turned a corner and saw one and a bunch of people crowding round to take a photo. Maybe only a few steps later you realise there's about 4 more just chilling around the place. It was a cool experience and definitely worth doing at least once if you're there.

Osaka

06/05 - Local train, Dotenbori, Den-Den Town We took a train from our airbnb to Osaka and went via the local train rather than the shinkansen. It was fine, we reached Dotenbori and our hotel was not far from the station. We got there a bit early again but our room was already available and our luggage had arrived too (: After getting refreshed we went out for the afternoon to Den-Den Town. This is Osaka's version of Akihabara, and we spent a lot of time with my partner looking in all the card shops. It was pretty rainy but not really a problem between the Lawson's umbrella and ducking into lots of shops ;) We spent time in an arcade for a while before heading out to Dotenbori market area and the bridges for the evening/night. Yet again another location in the Yakuza games so I had fun pointing out different places like the Mega Don Quijote or the crab restaurant. We had some food and ended up in a drinking place that used a QR code and website for ordering to the table which was dangerously easy to use haha. Had some really tasty sushi there too, I'll try and find the name if anyone is wondering! Took tons of photos there, the rain at night gave the city that classic look reflecting the neon lights everywhere.
07/05 - Kobe day trip We went to Kobe for the day, lots of rain but the main market area is all under cover so that was handy. My partner was looking for a new phone which he found, we also went to one of those places where they grill the food in front of you for dinner. It was great going in a scruffy elevator up to the restaurant and stepping out onto a really beautifully designed restaurant, and it wasn't very busy so we were able to go without reserving beforehand. Kobe itself is cool although we didn't explore too much outside the market areas due to just how hard it was raining, I think it was the heaviest on this day unfortunately.
08/05 - Nara day trip, Todai-ji We went to Nara and although the advice is to go early, we went for more mid-day time. It wasn't crowded at all so that was fortunate. We ended up walking past that famous mochi stall that you see on all the tiktoks of Nara. I wasn't expecting to see the making of the mochi and wasn't going to wait for it either however they started about 2 minutes after we found the stall so we did stay and watch and it was cool to see in person (: We tried the mochi, it's pretty good although for me it was a bit too dry from the powder. Was still tasty!!! Walked through towards the deer park and saw the pagodas around. When we reached the deer park of course we had to get some crackers and feed them. Oh my god they're so pushy!! It was actually so funny to interact with them, one tried to nibble me and we got headbutted a bit when we had the crackers but once you've given them all out then they'll leave you 😆. We sat on a bench for a bit and watched some other poor souls go through the same thing. Saw quite a lot of young fawns too which is cute. We kept walking up to Todai-ji, stopped for an ice cream, then went to the temple to see the huge Buddha statue. It was a good experience to see this temple, but at least for me it wasn't my favourite part of the trip. I know for many others though it's really great to see so don't knock it off your list if you're interested in it! I'm glad I went once but probably won't return. Spent some more time just chilling around Nara and looking at the temples and shrines around the place. We went back to Osaka for around 4pm. Spent the evening in Osaka again, no rain this time! Oh this was about the time I was developing a sore throat, a little bit nerve wracking but fully vaccinated + boosters and have had covid previously so was fairly certain it wasn't that. Even so, my partner was coughing a bit which is the start of the cold we both had for the rest of the trip 😔
09/05 - Osaka Aquarium, Dotenbori I didn't put the aquarium on my plan initially but we had another spare day in Osaka and I do like visiting aquariums + my partner likes penguins a lot and they had a lot there. It was a cool experience, a lot of families as to be expected but it wasn't packed so lots of opportunities to see the animals and fish :) The two whales were very cool, they're so massive. We also got to see their rockhopper penguin conservation area, you could see them sitting on their eggs. I recommend the aquarium to any families planning to be in Osaka, it's pretty easy to get to and the station gives clear directions on where to go to get to the aquarium and the nearby lego park. After the aquarium we went back to Dotenbori and looked around the various book-offs as my partner was looking for screen protectors. If you're interested in any Japanese media I can recommend them too, I found some games in there that were a lot cheaper than you find in the West in much better condition. Our coughs worsened by evening which wasn't great, we weren't doing much more in super crowded areas but it's obviously not good anyway. We were wearing masks everywhere beforehand but it made it more important. We did end up getting some Bron, if you're in Japan and have a cough then I do recommend it but just be aware that it contains codeine. We got some from a place that specifically had a pharmacy section, you bring the box to the cashier and they'll give you the actual bottle from behind the counter. Really really great stuff, much better than anything you can get without a prescription in the UK which was annoying as my cough was subsequently worse for about 5 days once I got back!! It's pretty much gone now though (lasted longer likely due to asthma but it was gone for my partner after a couple days of being back). Overall I really enjoyed Osaka, all the cities we went to were cool but for me Osaka was my favourite :)

Tokyo

10/05 - Shinkansen, Airbnb We left Osaka for Tokyo and took the Shinkansen back. We did splash out a bit and took the green car with seats on the Fuji side. I fell asleep for most of the trip but woke in time to see Fuji for the roughly 6-7 minutes it was viewable for. It was my only time to see Fuji due to the weather being almost clear that day aside from a single cloud going right across the mountain. It didn't block the peak though so I don't feel too robbed 😆. If/when we visit Japan again I would like to see it again closer but it was still a great sight. Once we reached Shinagawa station, we switched to the local train to head to our airbnb in Shinjuku once again (although closer to Shibuya this time whereas we were more North before). We were staying in a pretty close knit residential area but did a bit of a hello to the neighbours which was nice. We had done the luggage forwarding again but had set it to come the next day so we would be the people available for receiving it. Spent the time around the airbnb and also tried having an uber eats delivered (which worked great lol).
11/05 - Shibuya, Shinjuku We spent most of this day around Shibuya as we wanted a few souvenirs for family and also hadn't visited Shibuya properly. Went to the crossing, then spent time mainly shopping and going around one of the Donkis. Pretty rainy again but not a problem for a shopping day.
12/05 - RX-7 Day Trip (Lake Hinuma, Ibaraki Flower Park), Kabukicho We used Omoshiro Rent-a-car for the RX-7 (for those interested, here's the car - https://i.imgur.com/HRX4DYy.png ) and they were great. We had it pre-booked again before we arrived in Japan as it's a pretty sought after car to rent. Bit banged up but nothing major, and we had it booked for I think 8 hours? We did return it a little early as we didn't really have anything else to do and didn't want to be late with a return as the shop closed at the time we'd be returning it. A funny part of the terms you agree to is no Initial D style driving. For the trip itself, we didn't have anything major planned so I made a makeshift plan to just go a bit out of Tokyo and visit somewhere different. I found this lake on maps that'd be not too far, didn't realise until we were there that it's less a lake for sights and more for fishing 😅. No worries though, as the main reason was to get some driving in and enjoy having the car (which was achieved!). Got some snacks from a 7/11 then went off. We had a lot of time left so we drove to Ibaraki flower park, yet another quick find from scrolling around Google Maps. It was a very beautiful park, they have a rose market there as well as selling some fresh produce. It's a small charge to go in the park but it's worth it for the hour or more you might spend there and will go towards the park maintenance. Also being the middle of Spring of course it's going to be beautiful with all the new blooms (: We spent time there admiring the countryside and being sad about going back home the next day. We went back to the rental place afterwards, also during this drive was the time where we were finding it so funny how we were sticking to the speed limits in this beautiful car and being overtaken by massive trucks going so much faster. We did have a moment that was like from a movie though, we entered the expressway after the tolls and as we were pulling in an older Honda NSX was being driven next to us. The guy driving looked over and gave us a nod with a straight face before pulling ahead a little so we could be behind him. We ruined that movie mood by both being so excited by how cool the moment was but hey it's one of those things that won't be forgotten at least!! He zoomed off a few minutes later but we weren't risking anything to keep pace ahaha. We returned the car then went back to Shinjuku for our final evening in Japan. We went back to Kabukicho and I was able to see the arch in red :') Took photos of the karaoke place that's in the games, would've gone in but my throat was killing!! So we just stuck to being outside. We went back to the area around our airbnb, had our last dinner there then went and packed up ready to go home.
13/05 - Home :') Our flight was leaving a little before 9am so we were leaving the airbnb for 5ish. Early start but as we'd gotten packed up it wasn't too bad of a walk to the station. Grabbed our train, it was fairly early on one of the lines that goes direct to the station so we were able to get on with ease. The train was rammed by the time we reached the station. No problems getting through the airport, got to our gate and then flew home.

Final Notes

I had such a good time in Japan, I loved being there and hope to return within the next few years if life permits!! We definitely missed some of those 'must-do's' such as Osaka Castle, any of the theme parks, Arishiyama Monkey Park, actually doing Karaoke, and some of the food options due to my own anxieties walking into places lol. That said, I don't regret the things we did end up doing and it just means I'll have to fit some of those into my next trip 😉. Although my partner would like to visit more Northern areas like Hokkaido or Sendai so we'll see!
We didn't have probably as much packed into each day as could've been but for me this was perfect and a great time for my first time. If you managed to read all this then thank you very much, and please let me know if you have any questions about the trip!! I'll be happy to answer. Thanks for reading!

TLDR: I'm a homeless African American that never had any prospects, recently lost my job, and is autistic enough to make finding and keeping work hell. Oh, and I'm unattractive.
For people that actually like reading:
I'm putting my story here so that I can at least pretend I'm impacting the world. Starting from the way beginning to when I started showing indicators of involuntary celibacy. And trust me, I got an EARLY start.
Stats: 6"0, Black, Autistic (Aspergers specifically).
Traits: Depressed, Ugly, no Self Esteem, slowly losing the will to live.
Onto the story.
Elementary School: I don't know if I discovered the idea of girls earlier than most or not, but I know they didn't like me. I managed to find one out of desparation, but it didn't last, obviously. The problem is, I already started to notice girls looking to get attention (you know the kind. "Pay attention to me, but I want nothing to do with you" kind of attention. Looking back, I noticed they learn that behavior early. Whether or not someone taught it to them is something I can't confirm, at least from personal experience.
During this time, up through Middle School, I had buckets of confidence (this will become important later). Got rejected? Move on, try to ask another. Poisoning the already-dry well further since I was too dumb to understand that concept at the time.
Middle School: The worst, as far as schooling went. Every girl rejected me (including the ugly ones) and what little affection I did get was paid for and given by girls who only wanted to use me. I was also bullied a lot by girls during this time because I had different interests. This is also where the most painful memory of my life sits.
Sub-Story: There was this girl I was really into, and she was actually into me as well. Her name was Jocelyn. We were kind of lovey dovey to each other, the annoying kind. Well, onve the class got wind that we were into each other... They bullied her. Not me, but HER, out of being with me. They all laughed and teased, forcing her to break it off right there. I was devastated, and still am almost 10 years later. But, it didn't stop there. She started dating my best friend at the time, Alejandro. I still never totally recovered from that, and it permanently changed my perceptions of women and dating, especially since it never stopped happening.
High School: This was when I started getting used for free meals, getting led on, and of course, constantly rejected, even by ugly girls with similar interests. I still remember I lashed out against a girl, Jackie, for rejecting me. I cursed her out, and still regret doing that. She left the school shortly after, so I never got the chance to apologize to her.
I transferred to a different school at grade 11, and got bullied by girls again.
After I dropped out, I went to work since I was almost 2 years worth of credits behind, and I wasn't going to give those kids more reasons to ignore/hate me. My first job was at a swimming academy. Women, everywhere, all wearing swimsuits, various body types. I couldn't stop myself from looking, both out of arousal and jealousy, knowing they had men they preferred. Guys, more athletic, taller, and better looking than me, all had girlfriends. I was the only person in there who was constantly depressed and going to therapy several times a month just to cope. I ended up slacking on purpose to get fired.
Job after that. Worked in a tire shop. One woman I really liked and could relate to. She was lesbian.
Side Stories: During the middle school era, I went to a library. Girl comes up, says she liked me, I got excited, then she turned around and said her boyfriend called her, so she wasn't interested anymore.
When I arrived at my first high school, there was a girl I liked who was into games. She was also lesbian.
I moved to a different city because I got into a fight with my abusive mother, just over two years ago. Turns out my Father likes to date abusive women (my parents are separated) and his girlfriend ended up being emotionally abusive to me, threatened me and my property, and effectively took my Dad away from me. She also has a daughter that disliked me for no apparent reason despite me being nice to her at the time.
She made me homeless, and I've been living in my car ever since April of this year.
Please tell me about how I just need to be confident. My confidence died in High School, and only got worse down the road. I can't even cope with video games anymore, so I just sit in my car all day half-heartedly looking for work, eating Japanese food, and pretending to care about self-improvement by learning Japanese.
生命は女の犬だね？

There’d been another shooting today, in some dainty little cafe downtown, in the places tucked so neatly away only people who had visited there their whole lives went. Pete Cordell sighed to himself as he stepped past the shattered glass. Once, the scene inside the cafe would have made his stomach turn. These days, the sight of eviscerated bodies and rooms painted with blood barely fazed him. The entire cafe was ruined, bullet holes riddling every surface imaginable. He whistled, low.
“They must have used up ten mags to do this much damage,” he observed out loud.
“Hey, you’re finally here!”
Pete looked up at the new voice - a man he’d worked with for a bit under four years now but still barely knew anything about - Wesley Smith. “Crazy shit, isn’t it? You’d think it was an action movie in here with the amount of bullets they dumped.”
“I’ll say,” Pete grumbled.
“That ain’t the weirdest shit though. Come over here.” Dividing the cafe in half was a massive sheet, and Wesley brushed past it as Pete followed. He stared.
On the ground was a gun - which wasn’t the first thing to draw his attention. What did draw his attention was the pool of blood on the ground, way too large for any normal injury to have caused. He moved his gaze around and his jaw slackened. Slumped against the wall were the remains of a black-robed man - although remains were generous, considering all that remained was a single arm, a head, and blood-soaked garments. The wall behind the remains was cracked and severely dented, as if something great and powerful had rammed into it. A few feet away, a body had its head entirely gone, nowhere to be seen, with only a spray of blood, a stain of flesh and the same deep impact on the wall where the head should have been.
“Pretty freaky, right?” Wesley’s facade of bravado wouldn’t have fooled even a child. “Makes you feel like you’re in one of them horror stories, you know?”
“I’ll say,” Pete repeated, coughing to get rid of his shaky voice. A buzz from his radio drew his attention, and he held it up to his ear.
“All officers to the station now. I repeat, all officers to the station now.” The voice on the other end was… strange, but Pete chalked that up to his wracked nerves.
He nodded to Wesley and ignored the strange feeling in his stomach. “Alright. Let’s go.”
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A few days later, Pete was flipping pancakes in the kitchen. His wife came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist as the kids squabbled around the table.
“Had a good sleep?” He asked as she rested her chin on his shoulder.
She hummed in affirmation. “How was the latest case?” she asked.
He frowned. It’d been another shooting, in some dainty cafe downtown, and he’d… hang on, what had he done? Before he could strain himself too much, a memory slotted into place and he relaxed.
“Oh, nothing special. Nothing special at all.”
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It was just a few minutes into the breaking of dawn that a massive clanging woke Devona up. He shot out of the bed, not falling out of the bed but instead scrambling for the lightswitch as he got to his feet. His brain pushed past the fight or flight instinct that had shattered his sleep and he relaxed again as his memories came back. A few months into WICCA’s formation, during the time that they had been starting to talk to each other for purposes other than business, they’d headed over to Cirius’s abode.
“And here is my bed!”
They all stared at the bare mattress lying upon a metal frame, only a thin scrap of fabric and something that was barely a pillow upon it. The rest of the apartment wasn’t faring much better, with only a mini-fridge in the kitchen and one of each bathroom item. The walls were a murky grey with the wallpaper peeling, and there was a stench of alcohol in the air.
Axon let out a whistle. “Damn, you live like this?” Her expression turned solemn. “Seriously, though, these conditions are pretty rough.”
Cirius shrugged. “Eh. Could be worse. I used to just find a dumpster that wasn’t full and sleep in there.”
Devona sucked in a breath. “That’s… really bad.”
Cirius gave another shrug. “Some dumpsters aren’t that bad actually. Getting chased away with a broom for being an intruder or like, getting shot, is worse.”
“Well, moving on from that depressing bit of background, you could for sure get a better apartment with how much you’re being paid,” Axon interjected.
Cirius’s eyes widened. “I could?”
“Yeah, man. You know how much money you have. It’s all in your bank account.”
His eyes widened further. I have a bank account?”
“What do you mean? I sent the details to you through your email…” Understanding dawned across her face. “Goddamn it.”
There was a crash outside of the apartment, drawing their attention towards it. Devona walked open to the door and gingerly opened it to reveal two men tussling upon the ground, swearing angrily at each other.
“Hey John!” exclaimed Cirius cheerfully as the man on top lifted his fist and slammed it on the other’s face.
Devona stepped forward with his hands held out placatingly in front of himself.
“Alright, now, let’s calm-”
Devona was interrupted as he was talking by a fist swinging straight towards his face. As he reeled back, another hand was already closing over it and forcing the assailant down. Harlow stared down at the man they were forcing down with a singular hand, watching as his expression strained to continue to look defiant through the pain.
They pressed down further, causing the man’s expression to shift into pain as he hammered onto the floor with his free hand, hollering to let him go.
Devona gingerly placed his hand on their shoulder. “Hey, I think that’s enough now.”
Harlow raised an eyebrow at them. He tried to punch you.
“Well, he didn’t punch me.”
Harlow tilted their head but let go of the person, allowing him to run off with a bruised ego and most likely a bruised wrist. The other man got up and staggered away, the smell of alcohol fresh in the air. Devona let his hand drop as Harlow watched them go, wiping their hand upon their cloak.
After that, Cirius had thankfully used the money to get a proper apartment. Or rather, several proper apartments since he kept getting kicked out. And now he had found himself inside Devona’s new house. Devona sighed and rubbed his eyes to get rid of the tiredness, heading down the stairs to see what the commotion was all about. Cirius was sprawled upon the floor, his pillow several feet away, the couch he was staying on half tipped over and his blanket looking like it had been attacked by a savage animal.
He waved. “Hey bossman.”
Devona stared. “How.”
“Well, you see, I kinda woke up. And stuff was like this.”
Devona sighed and picked Cirius up. He held him like a cat, with his hands underneath the arms as Cirius’s legs dangled, and plopped him down onto the couch after pushing it down with his feet. He began to clean up the rest of the mess. Cirius shot to his feet instantly.
“I could-”
Devona waved him off. “It’s fine. It’s early, just try to get some more rest in. I’ll get another blanket.” He continued to clean up in silence, blinking the sleep from his eyes. He turned and Cirius was still sitting up, shuffling his feet awkwardly.
“Well, if we’re not going to sleep again, why don’t we eat breakfast? I’ll get the cereal.”
They ate together in silence, letting the sound of chewing fill the air. As Devona was thinking about setting up a garden outside, Cirius spoke up.
“Sorry for the blanket. And for waking you up. And-“
Devona raised a hand. “I told you, it’s fine.” Internally, he frowned.
“Was Cirius still hung up about that?” He had noticed an uncanny silence, but he had drawn that up to tiredness. Speaking of, was Cirius even tired? Cirius had been wide awake every time Devona had gone to bed, and wide awake when Devona awoke. One time, Devona had walked blearily down the stairs to get a glass of water in the dead of night, and almost got a heart attack from Cirius suddenly talking.
“So, what’s the mission for today, bossman?” Cirius interrupted his train of thought, rocking on his chair and back to his usual bounciness.
“Well, if you read your email, you’d know,” Devona deadpanned before relenting. “It’s just an attendance to some event that acts as a cover for underground dealings. While Claren deals with negotiations, we mingle with the crowd unless Harlow needs some backup. They’ll be off stealing some documents.” He polished off the last of the cereal. “We should get some more rest before the mission. Don’t want to be too tired.”
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Claren and Harlow were already there when Cirius and Devona arrived. They were all dressed in suits again, like they had been at that party months back. Claren took a few seconds to assess their outfits. Before the mission, Claren had talked with Devona, telling him that he would stand out too much. His height was the most obvious, but according to Claren his posture was ‘too subdued and open to pass as a crime lord’. Instead, Devona would be with Harlow, finding the documents, while Cirius would be a possible back-up to Claren. Really, it was because it was doubtful that he would be able to carry out a stealth mission.
Devona went over to greet Harlow. After exchanging conversation, he grabbed Harlow by the shoulder and the two of them vanished. Claren adjusted his suit, the light glinting off of the two rings on his fingers. “Well, you can go and mingle with the party. If I’m in trouble, try to cause a distraction.”
Cirius nodded thoughtfully. “Explosions?”
“Try to keep those to a minimum.”
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Cirius was mingling, but he was not mingling happily. The people really did hold themselves in a different way than Devona did, with pushed up chests and little hand waves. Everyone who talked to him seemed to need to suddenly leave, so Cirius was currently standing by the food table chomping on dishes.
“Real boring party,” a voice drawled.
Cirius turned. He tilted his head and stopped biting down on the plate. Leaning up against the table with an easy casualness, dressed in a full tuxedo with bowtie and tailed coat, the speaker plucked a grape from the stem and popped it into her mouth. Her rainbow scarf swished as she swivelled her head to look down at him, and her mismatched eyes were lit with amusement. She seemed familiar, but Cirius couldn’t put his finger on why. “Wouldn’t you say so?”
Cirius thought about this. “Eh, it’s alright. I remember one time I blacked out at a party like this and woke up in a bathtub filled with ice.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “You’re a pretty funny guy,” she snickered, waving a fork at him.
Her smile tapered into a grin, and her eyes narrowed. “But in my opinion, this party could really use some better entertainment.” She pulled a mask over her face - one of a white demon with small, pointed horns, and drew a glaive from her back. She threw it. The glaive soared through the air, and Cirius watched as it trailed dried intestines through the air before embedding itself deep inside the chest of one of the guests. Screams tore through the air and Cirius remembered that murder was not good.
“Claren, there’s been a murder! That’s not good!” he yelled, his voice drowned out by the din of panic and magic. The woman dodged past beams of energy and fire, grabbing onto the handle of the glaive and swinging it in a wide arc around her, carving into anyone unfortunate enough to be nearby. Claren burst out from the room, his eyes narrowing and shield wrapping around him as soon as he realised the situation. He pressed up against the wall and then shot forward, like a rubber ball that had suddenly been decompressed. The woman’s cackling was interrupted as he slammed into her full force, sending the both of them crashing across the floor.
“Laurel Pariah. I didn’t expect you to show your face again so soon.” Cirius was close enough to hear them, and it helped that everybody had either ran away or died.
“So, my reputation precedes me,” Laurel responded brightly, kicking Claren off and swinging her glaive right at him. He raised his arm and it glanced off the glimmering shield, giving him an opportunity to land a blow at her gut. She stumbled back and he struck her across the head as she was darting backwards. Her glaive sliced through the air but ricocheted off of Claren’s shield, and he grabbed the bladed end to bring Laurel in closer. She kicked at him, causing her leg to bounce back and almost knock her over, only being held above ground by an uppercut directly into her stomach. She managed to stagger backwards, coughing.
“Wow, you really don’t play around do you?” she wheezed. “I didn’t expect to use my magic so soon, but I guess it can’t be helped.”
Claren moved back, tilting his head towards Cirius. “Go herd the people outside to safety. I’ll deal with her.” Cirius flashed him a thumbs up and headed in the direction of panicked shouts. Claren’s eyes scoured the room, as if looking for whatever Laurel may use against him. Speaking of Laurel, something strange appeared to be happening to her. Her skin seemed pale, almost bright. No, definitely bright - glowing, in fact. Before Claren could register it fully however, Laurel pivoted with a kick and sent a bolt of lightning slamming into him.
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The two of them had gotten past security with ease, Devona stealing documents from right under noses and Harlow repeating the pattern of fingerprints upon keyboards. The two of them were currently sitting upon beams, dangling their legs high above the ground.
Just a few more, and we’ll be out of here soon.
Devona tilted his head to the side. “These people really love to party, huh.”
Harlow chewed their cheek. Well, it’s sort of a coping mechanism. Unlike the more recent sorcerers like you and I, these people grew up in a society wholly made from those who possess magic. There’s a certain sense of… superiority within those places. To them, death was less of a constant presence. That was until the Scourges came. Suddenly humans, magic or not, were all pushed down a level on the food chain. That sudden shock of mortality, paired with the changing landscape of the world, is certain to cause some stress. They leaned backwards on their hands. Not to mention, it’s a pretty good cover for criminal activity.
Devona hummed. “Yeah, the world's a chaotic place.” He bowed his head slightly. “Do you think we can win? Against the Scourges, that is.”
Their tongue traced the inside of their mouth as they mulled, an action mirrored from others despite their mouth never being used to talk. It’s unclear. We don’t even know where the Scourges are coming from or what they are. There could be only a small handful left in the world, or there could be legions waiting to invade. We manage to push them back, but not without loss. The Scourge at Scotland was one of the weaker ones. The teleporting Scourge was one of the less destructive ones. And yet they managed to cause so much devastation. They tilted their head to meet his gaze. But I think we’ll win.
Devona smiled. “I hope so.”
How’s it going with Cirius at your place, by the way?
Devona scrunched up his forehead as memories came flooding in. “Well, he doesn’t eat unless I make him. Or really visit the bathroom since he doesn’t eat. I don’t even think he sleeps, at least not most of the time. I’ve also never seen him change his clothes. He seems weirdly nervous at times though. He’s probably destroyed like five of my blankets by now. He keeps giving me heart attacks at night by scurrying around the house. He tried to cook once and blew up the entire kitchen. I’m not even exaggerating, he had third degree burns all over his skin. Took me ages to patch him up, especially with him refusing to remove his clothing.” Devona sighed and noticed Harlow’s expression. They had a bemused expression on their face. “What is it?” You’re quite an attentive person, that’s all. They turned their gaze elsewhere. The last of the physical documents should be three doors down on the rightmost corridor.
“What will you be doing?”
Attending to my own business. I’ll meet you afterwards.
Devona nodded and vanished, leaving Harlow alone underneath the clouded sky.
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The hierarchy of the world was simple. At the bottom were the plants, the insects, the ones who barely fed themselves and were gorged upon or crushed by a wayward hand. On top, edging them out were the small predators, the mice and shrews of the world. And above them this and this and that until up on top the world, the pinnacle of power, was humanity. Of course, there was division within humanity. Some believed it to be race, or gender, or sexuality, or any other sort of arbitrary difference they’d use to hold a sense of superiority over others. But the true division, the fissure that stretched across like the mouth of a god, was magic.
Opal Pact was currently walking upon the tightrope across that fissure. To live in a world of magic without any of your own was common, given how billions of people did it, but to know about magic and to live in its world was less so. Of course, it was a lot less dramatic than her mini-monologues in her head, like the one about hierarchies, had made it seem. Most would expect fabulous displays of power, magic that could bend and buckle nations. Instead, they got people who could throw fancy balls that were basically slower, less effective bullets, or throw fireballs which were once again slower, less effective bullets, or become pinnacles of physical brawn who were immune to bullets and who were as susceptible to chemical warfare as anybody else. Even the ones who held incredible power weren’t immune to a knife in their neck in the dead of night. The point was, Opal was less of walking upon a tightrope and more of peering into a secret party and inviting herself in. Besides, if those unedited videos of cities’ destruction were anything to go buy, humans weren’t the top of the food-chain anymore, magic or not.
She whistled to herself, the tune of some forgotten song as she twirled a crowbar between her fingers. She knocked on the door to the security room and then smashed it open, interrupting the guard who was in the middle of trying to figure out why several of the cameras had stopped working. The smashing of the crowbar into his face sent several of his teeth scattering, and he collapsed onto his desk. He’d be fine, probably. Opal mentally shrugged with that thought and pushed him off the wheely chair, letting him flop onto the floor as she took a seat. She grabbed a can of oil from her bag and poured it out the door, letting it run down across the hallway. The tinted plastic she’d stuck to the lights before she’d made her entrance were just yellow enough that anyone who came rushing in wouldn’t have time to notice the oil until it was too late.
Opal slammed the door as shut as she could, kicking her feet onto the table and popping a piece of gum into her mouth. She chewed, letting the sugar flare upon her tongue as her fingers ran across the keyboard. There was a sound of people yelling, then the sound of bodies slamming against the wall and floor. She stretched her arms behind her head, kicking off of the desk to avoid the blast of energy that ripped right through the door. It was shoved open and Opal pushed off the wall towards the attacker, pulling out her taser and jabbing it into his stomach. He staggered and then slipped, falling chin-first onto the floor. She stepped off of the chair and kicked it, sending it bouncing around and knocking down the few guards who managed to remain standing. She slid across the floor, using the slickness to her advantage to weave past grasping hands and past the oil. Grabbing a matchbox from her hand, she struck a match and held it loftily between the fingers. The effect was immediate, with all the guards scrambling across the floors on either all fours or trying their best to stand up. She tossed the match to the oil-slicken ground and slid into the next room. The oil wasn’t flammable.
The oil eventually rubbed off from the friction, leaving Opal to walk along the floor. She eventually found what she came for. She smashed the lock off of the door, the alarm already having been disabled by her in the security room. She popped her bubble of gum and pushed the door open. Standing in the room, looking incredibly confused, was an incredibly tall man. He stared at her, the documents on the desk in front of him. She stared at him. He stared at her. She grabbed the tablecloth and threw it over his head, snatching up the documents as he stumbled back.
Opal dove out the door before the man could get his bearings, skidding across the floor and breaking into a sprint. She pulled out a bag of marbles and tossed it behind her, spilling the contents all across the floor. She used the crowbar to jam the door behind her shut, running past the winding hallways. The exit wasn’t far, and soon she’d be able to hop on her motorcycle and be scot free.
She wheeled around the corner and almost collided into a group of sorcerers. She could tell they were sorcerers since they immediately threw blasts of energy her way as she ducked behind the wall. One of them charged forward and punched the wall where her head had been. He lifted his arm to strike again and then vanished.
“Huh?” The other sorcerers seemed equally confused. Something appeared from nowhere and smacked into the face of one, leaving the last to look around panickedly before the frying pan knocked him out. The man from before appeared out of thin air, looking much more annoyed than he had before. He waved his pan at her face.
“Alright, who the hell are you?”
“Invisibility, probably. Strong as well if he managed to bypass the crowbar so easily, or crafty if he found another way to track me,” her mind supplied.
Opal rooted around for her spray-can. “Who am I? Oh, no-one really. Just a gal trying to make her way in the world.”
The man narrowed his eyes. “Would you be willing to hand over the documents?”
Opal pressed her thumb and index to her chin. “Eh, probably not.”
He sighed. He vanished right as Opal lifted her spray can and sent a blast of black into his face. She broke into a sprint, shoving the documents into her pocket as she continued to dash.
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Being short certainly had its shortcomings. Cirius couldn’t shout louder than the clamour, so he climbed onto whatever surface he could find and grabbed onto a plate and a fork. He scraped the prongs along the ceramic and the screech was loud enough to catch everyone’s attention.
“Alright, alright, listen up! I’ve been told to get you guys out of here, so that’s what I’m going to do.”
The people still seemed panicked and extremely suspicious. One of them aimed a hand full of fire at him. “Who the hell are you? And why should we listen to you?”
“You guys are running around too much! Look, that guy has other people standing on top of him!”
“Help.”
“In an emergency situation, it’s always good to have someone to direct everyone else. People tend to panic and move erratically, so having a leader allows the people to calm themselves down and move in a controlled manner, minimising the risk to themselves and each other,” Cirius recited. He felt a dash of smugness for remembering the entire thing.
The people did not seem very impressed. They stared up at him with confused and vaguely disgusted expressions.
“Anyways, the point is, we’re going to leave now.”
“What about the people back there!” one person exclaimed. “I have a husband who’s possibly dying right now!”
Cirius frowned. “What did he look like?” “He had- he has blonde hair, is wearing a suit with a blue tie-”
“Oh, I think I saw who you’re talking about!”
“Really? Was he alright?”
Cirius scratched his head. “Uh, well, if he can survive without his head on then he should be good.”
“What the hell is wrong with you!”
“Come on, man!” “Why would you say that?”
Exclamations and cries of dismay rose up from the crowd and suddenly everyone was yelling at him.They started to throw plates and utensils at him, throwing insults along with them.
“Alright, alright, let’s just calm down,” he tried to say over the clamour. A plate smacked onto his head and dazed him for a second. Frustration bubbled in his chest as the people kept on yelling and yelling and the noise built up and up until the frustration melded into anger and burst from him.
“Shut up! Shut up, all of you!” he yelled, his own voice barely rising above the chaos. He grabbed a plate of his own and threw it into the crowd. “I’m trying to save your goddamn lives you idiots!”
Something bright came flying at him and he felt his body light ablaze, the fire rapidly spreading over his clothes and flesh. A silence fell over the crowd, their expressions now of shock and bewilderment rather than outrage. He moved his head towards the one who threw the fireball, the slight movement drawing gasps from the people around him. He jumped down from the table and walked towards the attacker, everyone else clearing a wide berth around him. He dug his fingernails into his bubbling flesh, tearing deep and causing blood to spill out, dampening the flames with a hiss. Blood dripped onto the floor as he flexed his hand before pulling his arm back and punching the elemental in the face. His hand practically exploded, spraying gore and viscera all over the man’s features. He fell to the floor with a horrified scream, too distracted to notice Cirius lifting a chair until it was already coming down on his head. Cirius patted down his body, ripping away at skin where the fire refused to die out. He turned to the crowd - or at least, the blurry outline of the crowd.
“So, are we ready to go now?” he asked brightly. He lifted his hand to scratch at his face and felt bone. The crowd nodded, subdued. “Pick that guy up, by the way.” He turned to the exit and they all followed suit.
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Devona was not having a good time. He’d managed to avoid most of the spray, but he’d needed to wipe away at his eyes before they stung too much. He floated past the groaning guards on the oil-slick floor, up the stairs to the upper floors. Marbles were strewn across the ground, and one man was rolling around while clutching his spray-painted eyes. The window on the far end was smashed open despite the latch being unlocked. Peeking his head around, he could see the perpetrator running along the rooftop, sticking her tongue out at the people on the ground. She grabbed an egg from her pocket and slung it at the head of one, exploding it all over his face as he tried to grab his gun.
She ducked down and slid along the tiles as bullets fired above her head, grabbing the side and swinging down into the window. A few seconds later, a chair was flung out and slammed into the remaining guards. A guard rushed up to the window next to Devona, pulling out a machine gun. Devona wasn’t a fan of excessive violence against his enemies, so he introduced his face to a frying pan. At the same time, the thief, as Devona had dubbed her, was thrown from the window. She managed to grab onto the curtain and ripped it as she slid down the wall, landing with a thud onto the ground. Standing there in the doorframe, holding onto ruffled documents as air swirled was a guard, more filing around her with magic swirling in the air.
Devona felt movement behind him and phased out, dodging the blast of energy that would have taken off his head. He grabbed the guard and phased them out with him, using their newfound weightlessness to throw them as hard. All eyes snapped to the man as he flew through the air, giving Devona enough time to swoop down and phase out the thief.
He dropped the two of them on the roof of the building overlooking the guards as they looked around in surprise. The thief immediately got to talking.
“So, you can phase out, huh? I thought you might have been a Neoteric, seeing as you look less out-of-touch than a lot of other sorcerers. Do you have a cool name for your discipline?”
Devona glanced at her. “It’s incorporealism.”
She rolled her eyes. “Bo-ring. You develop a whole branch of magic and you give it some lame name like that?”
“It’s not- whatever.”
She sighed and rolled her shoulders. “Why don’t we make a truce?” she said suddenly. “Just until we get the documents. Especially since they see us now.”
Devona looked down just in time to weave to the side and let the lightning pass by him. There was a woosh of air and all the guards were upon the roof, one of them still holding the documents in her hand.
A gust of air, a blast, and several bullets connected with nothing as Devona vanished. He grabbed one guard and threw them off, lashing out with only his foot physical and kicked another guard right in the stomach. Weave, dodge, strike, move back, more forward. The movements weren’t as fluid as they could have been, and he winced from a graze across his arm, but it wasn’t long before he and the thief were the only people still standing upon the roof.
She raised an eyebrow at him. “Wow. Not bad. You’re quite the combatant.”
Devona started looking around for where the documents had fallen, turning his back to her. “Thanks.”
“What’s your name by the way?”
He lifted up one of the unconscious bodies. “It’s Devona. Yours?”
“Bergeron.” A strange name, but Devona wasn’t one to judge. “Say, I’ve just to ask, why did you save me back there?”
Devona frowned. “Is it not enough to not want to see another person die?”
She hummed. There was a bit of movement from behind him, and Devona phased out as a taser struck where he had just been. He phased back in, lashing out with a pivot and kick that slammed into her gut. He grabbed his pan and swung it at her head, clipping only her hair as she ducked down and he withdrew his body as she jabbed with her taser again. He slammed his pan onto her arm before she could reel it back in. Her taser dropped and Devona managed to strike her across the head, sending her stumbling back. She clutched his arm as if it was broken and Devona faltered slightly, just long enough for her to lash out with another hidden taser and hit him right in the gut. She grabbed onto her crowbar and smashed it against his head, with him managing to only slightly dodge the impact. He phased out again and grabbed her by the arm, throwing her against the wall. He stumbled, his vision turning white as rivulets of blood ran down his nose. Before he could recover he felt the crowbar slam into his hip and his legs buckled. The cool metal of the taser pressed into his back and jolts ran through his body.

MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
INTRODUCTION
Hello there! My name is Siddharth Rai and I live in India. I am a twenty-six years old male and I live with my parents. I work at the nearby airport as an electrical engineer. I have a younger sister who is studying zoology in a college nearby and she lives away from us due to her college. My writing style might not be appealing but I would be happy if you read and reviewed my article. It will help me get new interesting things to you. I hope you enjoy reading this.
I have always wanted to write a book. I like to write poems, I like music, I like art and I like to travel. I have never travelled out of my country except to Nepal. Nepal is quite nearby to where I live. I live in the eastern India, Darjeeling. Some of you might have heard or visited the place before. I live in the foothills though- Siliguri but the district is Darjeeling. I have spent around thirteen years of my life in Darjeeling. I miss those golden days that I have spent with my family and friends in Darjeeling. Those days will never come back again. It is a beautiful pain. All the crazy things that we do as teenagers, I did it in Darjeeling- fighting, having girlfriends, forming a band, roaming around the streets- everything. Some of the people I met on the streets are now superstars and some homeless vagabonds. Some are married and some committed suicide because they couldn’t love. I am just a regular guy like you. I think I am below average when it comes to money, prestige, personality and many other things that define us- a lifestyle.
The reason I thought about writing this article is because I want to become a better person as I am approaching towards my thirties. I have heard somewhere that writing makes it easier and effective to do something that we want to do. I hope this article will help you in some way or the other. I will share some of the deepest things that I feel. I will talk about my past. I will let you know about my present and I will also try to show you the future that I have visioned for myself. I will be talking about my personality development.
PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
We have often heard about the word personality. We have often heard about one getting complimented for their personalities and sometimes people finding their personalities not matching with others, mostly to their partners. It’s interesting to see us being conscious about so many things in our lives. Our beauty, physique, clothes, status in the society, possessions, partners and other small things like our fear of facing people, inferiority, pride, love, attachment. Well personality is a sphere where all of the conscious things are confined into.
It is the way we react to the factors that make us feel something- good or bad. Feeling good includes many things- paragliding, completing a trek, listening to classical music, releasing a music video. Feeling bad might feel like thinking about the moment that hurts you- could be anything, you know better.
How are you going to react to the situations-now and then? That defines your personality. If you ask the instructor for your money back after a paragliding session because you couldn’t fly for another ten minutes because of the weather then you need to work on some parts of your life and if you left your girl with the man and her friends just because you missed the party the previous night then you need to work on some part of your life- you might be using your head too much. I am worried about how I am going to handle a relationship in the future because I’ve messed up my previous ones- I need to work on some part of my life. My personality is not balanced.
Personality is a gift- a box of chocolates- it’s tasty but harmful if eaten too much.
I want to forget about my past, but I can’t because I have hurt some of the best people of my life like my parents, family, friends, teachers, girlfriend and even a dog- damn! I wonder if she is alive- Dalli the dog. My friend’s dog. She gave birth to two little puppies. One is with us-a mother now- Lily. Lily makes me happy. She is wonderful. The only reason why I was facing the hardest time of my life was because I didn’t have any purpose in life. I wasn’t fulfilling my duty-studying. I would get high the entire day, miss my classes and sleep after a masturbation session. Food and shelter were available for me as my parents paid for it. They would send money every month and I would eat, get high, sleep- repeat. I did this for two years and my girlfriend was gone, I had failed in my semesters like a dead toad, I was financially depressed, I had lost weight, I was now a little jerk. I wasn’t happy. I never wanted to kill myself though. I wasn’t raised that way. My father was in the army, and you know how it is in the military family- respect and discipline but I packed my bags and returned back home during my third year and a year of my college was still left behind.
When I went back home, I couldn’t find my peace because my aunt was living with my mother with her little daughter- my sister. When I went there to live with my mother there were four ladies and me- one man. I had habits and it was difficult for me to maintain them. The rooms were small, and everything was audible. I had a habit of masturbating before sleep. And my aunt would sleep in the room right next to mine. I sometimes wanted to screw her up, but I knew it was not a moral decision. I wanted to seduce her just to masturbate but I couldn’t because I didn’t know how to. And interestingly I was a virgin until twenty-five years old. That was one of the reasons why my relationship didn’t work out with that girl because I couldn’t fuck. I mean she would say after marriage, but she would also get naked and get missionary, but I was facing mild erectile dysfunction because of heavy marijuana dosage, porn and excessive masturbation. So, maybe that didn’t work out. I left my mother’s comfort and came back to college to complete my education and I did but a year later. My psycho friend had passed his college and I was left behind with another friend of mine- loser no.2. I think he still is a virgin. But I am not. Not anymore!
My friends and I none of us got placed. We were jobless and there was corona virus and lockdown. It was good time for assholes like me to waste life away. I would spend my day by playing pubg with my friends, watching porn and masturbating. My good time had begun. I was lucky enough to have faced an interview with the army for army engineering and not lucky enough for selection but reaching that spot where I was trying to compete to become an officer in the army. I was lucky enough to have got the chance to spend my time peacefully with my mother and my sister. My aunt had gone back home- her child had a vacation now- due corona and all.
One of my cousins are the in army. He was home for a break, and he motivated me to jog in the morning. I ran for two or three months but quit. But my mind was now looking for motivation to stay fit. One day I was watching porn and masturbation. Right after ejaculation I decided to stop watching porn and masturbating. Oh! Good days! I felt so good that day when I didn’t masturbate. I felt clean and guilt free. I was free now. I would miss my ex though. Her smile, her sadness, the burden she had due to me, the heavy heart that she had because she never wanted to leave me. I hope she is free and happy. I wish her the best and ask for forgiveness for every little thing that I did to her. I never wanted to make you cry but I am sorry. I have realized my mistakes now and I want to see you with a smiling face one day. I have moved on, but I am around, and I hope you too. Take care.
My friends have hurt me too and I have hurt them too. My family has hurt me, and I have hurt them too. People change but you don’t. Things always happen to you. Girlfriend, friends, family, money and etc.
But thank God I have a job now and I am earning a little every month. It’s just enough for me to sustain a month. I hope I’ll be out there in the wild world once I have a little experience about work culture.
FOCUS
If I could move a mountain, I would try to carry it around on my shoulders. A child, a teenager, an adult, a man, a woman, old, new no matter who, everyone is trying to find something in their lives- focus. If they lose focus, they will never be able to talk. Try not thinking anything and talking- you will notice how your brain coordinates your speech. We don’t care what we talk about because we are focused on something- conveying our message. It’s important to learn how to improve your focus. Thus, in order to improve your focus let’s try:

1. Meditating: Five to fifteen minutes a day- om meditation or guided meditation. Connect yourself with the inner spirit. Find out how heavy your chest is and how clouded your mind is. You are supposed to be as light the air and as clean as the water in the spring. Your mind should contain natural sceneries and not porn.
   
2. Exercising: Your body is a masterpiece of art. A godly creation. The entire human civilization is based on bodies. The entire art and history show how great leaders and warriors and scholars looked like. They had extremely appealing bodies, no matter what nation they belonged to. Romans, Greeks, British, Chinese, Japanese, Indians, Gorkhas, Sikhs, Mughals, and Americans, all of them have an interesting thing to notice- their bodies. Fast and furious to giants and strong. They all are focused. Some ruling the nations, some fighting wars, some creating art, some politics and some philosophies. They have a balance between their and heart and their brain. Have you ever done a chin up? Next time you do try to notice how your heart gets connected to your brain like a hook linking a loop. So, dear friends- exercise.
   
3. Study: I study engineering because I want to reach a better position in my career. You can study to be happy or flourish your business. But study something- learn.
   
4. Work: Work. Move your body, use your head. Work. Let your body know about discomfort and tiredness. In these modern times we have found new ways to earn our livelihoods- investment especially. If you are not a broker who works, his heart out to analyze and make profit and you are the one who makes money and live luxurious life out of the money your broker made for you then you should at least spend some time trying to make money the hard way- at least a day. I know you have been through a lot, and you have finally found your financial peace or you were born rich, but I must tell you he is not a man who doesn’t work. You can try house chores if nothing is coming to your mind. So, work just to get yourself in motion.
   
5. Hobbies: I play dota2 and I want to play the internationals. I sing karaoke. Do what gets you excited to get back home.
   
6. Read: Read books. I want to learn finance, health, relationship, science and engineering. You can read them too. Reading is something that makes time for your brain to rest for some time. It will settle down some of your chemical imbalances there.
   
7. Write: Write your deepest feelings, write a short story, write essays. Write. You can’t always be verbally sharing things with others. Some things might have been missed and some left unsaid like the ones in the previous paragraphs. It’s just a good thing to do-write.
   

My friends I don’t practice all of the above-mentioned tasks, but I always try to. It took me two years to settle down to a routine that I can follow to simplify my day and trust me the day is easier with a disciplined routine. I wake at around 6 in the morning and I go to the gym. It has been only two weeks since I joined the gym. I come home and make breakfast, eat it and go to work. My mom and my dad help me with my lunch. They are paying for my petrol and miscellaneous and after a week I will be getting my first salary. Well, I can’t tell everything here. So, basically my life is a mess. I am trying to make it a better one, but I am not sure about it. I have lost so many times. You know!
But I don’t want to lose anymore. I want to get that two years of experience even if I have to live like a baby with my parents. I will get my body in shape, get my interests aligned and skills sharpened. I will get familiar with my subject, and I am sure a day will come when I receive a salary way more than today.
INTEREST
If you can’t quit, then it means you are inspired. Inspiration and motivation are two different things. You can’t inspire someone verbally, but you can motivate them. Inspiration is long lasting, and motivation is short term. Motivation is like fuel to your inspiration. You will understand it. Just try to do something that you are interested in for three months. That’s a goal.
I am interested in many things. Interest as I say please refer to skills- just to make it easier for you to understand the difference between hobbies and interests. My interests are in programming, designing electrical circuits, photography and content writing. These are skills that I want to acquire, and I am “interested in”. My interest can’t be lifelong because I have distractions around. So, with a small technique I can learn these skills without losing my interest. The technique is numbering. Just put make a list of things that you want to learn. It will help you not lose your interest.
How to keep your interest alive?
You can try writing them down on a diary. Make a list of your interest. Interests are those skills that can make you famous, rich and happy like painting, programming etc. Show your interests to the world on social platforms to gain fame, sell them or get a job to get rich and master your skills to be happy. Have some interest friends.
Basically, if you have a good body, wealth, character, behaviors, manner, education, then you will have a personality that is safe and sound. People below your level will not mess with you and you won’t mess with people that are above you. But you will become someone who can deal with both the types because it’s not every day you get to meet and talk to the president and it’s seldom you need to avoid people that can harm you- rich and the poor.
Thank you for sticking to this post for such a long time. I feel humble enough to present this article to you. I would like to apologize if anybody was offended in this post. I can’t think more than this my friends. I would appreciate it if you left your valuable comments on this. Thanks, and may God bless you.
SUMMARY
I am qualified enough to talk about personal developments with you all but the reckless years that I have been through can tell how much I needed it and how deeply I longed for it. I had no one to lift me up. Everyone is selfish in this world. The principles in your life will clash with your ego and get you down on your knees. Your mind will become your master because you no longer have a master’s personality inside of you. And that is when you start to crave for love, sympathy, care and you start to do stupid things to gather attention because nobody wants you anymore. Your girlfriend will tell you how low you have come down in your life, you can clearly read it in her eyes that she no longer needs you and she no longer wants to be with you. You father will start becoming caring towards you because he is depressed because of you. Your mother will scream at you, cry in front of you, curse you. Your sister will probably start avoiding you and hating you because you are an alcoholic now with no strength and future. Your friends will leave you alone because they know you need time and you no longer fit the group. Your life is a mess that only you can clear.
Straight up! Accept that you lost, accept that you need help, accept that you are hurt and accept life is amazing while improving. Go quit weed, go hit the gym, go quit drinking alcohol, go quit porn, go get a job, go study, go learn, go do it! You know your worth. Forgive yourself because you know you did it for others and it drained your energy away. Now it’s time to take care of yourself. You are not being selfish, but you need to refill. Make new friends. Cut some of your old buddies that you thought were useless. Get in touch with people who are like you- struggling. Stay close to people who have made it through the tough times. Talk to beautiful people. Talk to your parents. Write. Pray. Love. Take care of your sisters, brothers, family, friends, society, country, the world. We all have to pass through tough times. We did yesterday, we did today, and we will do it tomorrow, but the greatest thing of life is ACCEPTANCE. Accept your flaws and do it again-this time for a better life.

At some point Uber allowed drivers (ride share and Uber eats) to pick several rides or deliveries at the same time. If I order a car, I don’t expect a driver who’s 1/2 way through an existing ride to BE ABLE to take my ride. The arriving in X minutes is a load or crap when the driver has to drop someone else off, before they start to my location. I order food, it gets picked up, oh but the driver has to stop to drop off food to someone else and/or pick up Another order, causing my food to arrive cold. Never have these issues with Lyft, door dash, grub hub etc. Ubers standard response is “we’ll look into why the restaurant didn’t send your food hot” or “ driver can be delayed by traffic” etc. It’s not the drivers nor restaurant(99%of the time… it’s UBER allowing drivers to accept multiple customers without finishing the current one.

I used to do this as a kid and I’ve found myself missing it recently. Basically you have all kinds of people over and have them either prepare a bit of poetry to read or they can just relax and watch other people read. It’s always a fun time and most people I know have enjoyed it. I of course have poetry recommendations if you want to read but don’t know what to read! We will have some food- you all know that Hector loves any excuse to cook for a lot of people- and I’ll make some desserts! While it’s not required at all, feel free to bring something :)
We hope to see you all there! Whenever my mom hosted these she went all out and I am sure some of you remember how fun it was. If you do, please let me know any of the fun memories you have from it. Or tell me what kind of poetry you like so I can pick out my own piece!
Oh and some people left some stuff here after picking up their books the other day! Now I can’t remember what stuff is whose but we have a pair of headphones, sunglasses, a ball of bright bright purple yarn, a yellow sweater, and a red pen. Please claim what is yours!!!!

I've been making a little less 2k with phone sex operator work I am getting bad reviews I don't care about these guys needs like I should. And I really am working seemingly the ones I just yell at men call them cunt bitch and pussy those are the only listings I get 5 stars and I have bad reviews there too. If I turn it around I'm pretty sure I could make 4000 I need a set schedule regular group messaging and knowledge on all the fetishes not a behavior of not caring and hanging up on people etc....
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So I used to work at taco Bell I got treated like really badly. My mom worked there and said they would talk about me behind my back and were like high school kids. These people were just hostile. And it got worse around the holidays. Which is why I ended up quitting. Okay so at first like I worked part-time. And I noticed there were problems but I only work there like maybe three days a week. So I didn't care. Now the amount of money that I made was like much less than phone sex operating. I make like 2000 not giving a darn about what the men want or anything. I just keep the phone on the line most of the day. I should make about 4 to 500 a week. At the old Taco bell. I made like a thousand. a month. So obviously I only make like half the amount I make and phone sex operating and I feel like phone sucks operating is more of a career for me. Considering if I cared a little bit more I could probably make like 5,000 a month. So I mean I could live very comfortably. I mean plenty of people have careers and make $60,000 a year. And if you think of it phone sex operating it's kind of like that. Because the average earner on night flirt is specifically 47,000 a year. If I was to care a little bit more about my calls because it would last longer my calls usually are one or two three four minutes. On a 70 a minute call. I just get a lot of callers because it's only 70 cents a minute. And you know the men have a bit of that understanding. That I may not care enough about their needs. But they kind of are okay with it I think to some extent some of my regulars. Because it's such a cheap call.
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So it does work out. But as you can tell I'm only making 2,000 a month. I could do a little bit better get good reviews instead of like how I am right now I get like five stars on my night flirt listings only on the listings I'm literally insulting people basically so like if I'm telling them they're pathetic or calling them the b word the c word things like that. Then I will make a good results good listings good reviews. I have success there. Because I do very well insulting them. And I do very well insulting them because I don't I guess like my own clients. Which is fine. Because I mean like I never meet them in person they're just people on the phone doesn't hurt anything I make even though I really am not putting any effort in my job as a phone sex operator at night flirt. But there are some things here. That are kind of and some of the things that are kind of beneficial are specifically things like with taco bell. That I am able to like get transportation. Into vegas. Things like that. I could get my own place. But I kind of feel like I could just move to Vegas and get a place there with my phone sex operating job. Cuz I do make about like 2,000 a month. I mean like it doesn't hurt for me to do that just save up. So that's why I'm like I'm not sure if I want to go back. Because the manager there general manager just said I got hired. At Taco bell but I don't know if I want to do it again. Because like I said it was a lot of hostility they treated me like crap it was terrible. And I get less money. And it's hard to work.
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For one at Taco Bell I remember during the holidays the people who work there specifically were like really aggressive to each other. Like they would yell at customers curse customers out. Curs each other out. Like this happened all in one day at one time. And where it went downhill for me because during Christmas it didn't actually become a problem I just went in like cleaned the bathroom. I didn't enguge in that behavior. I was the only one who wasn't cursing anyone out actually. And the whole store. But on New Year's Day it was really hectic. And then what happened in that situation was specifically the two co-workers tried to make it more stressful to work. Basically so they were getting aggressive and trying to basically attack me for the fact that they kept the drive-through line so long. Because I had nothing to do with that. I was doing the front at the time. But then they started blaming me for the backup in the Drive-Thru when I wasn't even working the drive-thru. And it had accumulated so much that two problems occurred at once.
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One Brandon got put on break even though he was scheduled later than me and had a history of not working when he was there we would sit in the booths and look at his phone. He got away with a lot even calling black people the n word while at work and claiming he was white.... (He's not white he's latino he's just racist and ashamed of his race he won't admit he's Latino despite having a name godinez) He had the nerve to be complaining and disrespecting me for not being able to do two things at once being at cash register and drive thru telling the customers I wasn't good at my job and complaining about me about my job when the reason drive thru was backed up was because he was given a break and I was tired out. So what ended up happening in that situation was I ended up yelling at the general manager. Not because I was angry at the general manager. What was really occurring in that situation was I was upset that the other person had been talking crap about me to the customers. While having had taken his break. And mess everything up. And make me not have to take a break. So for those reasons I was upset at that situation not particularly at the general manager.
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So after that point. That all that week things went downhill from there. And I ended up quitting on Friday just real quick. Oh the reason I quit like that. Was because on FridayI just felt like I didn't need to put up with all the crap I had been putting up with. Added to the fact that like because my mom worked there and she was saying that they were just talking crap about me like that. Now I knew like how they actually felt about me. And I didn't like it. Like usually when I work a job where someone doesn't like me. I don't care. Because I don't get to hear what they're saying behind that. Right but in this case I could. And then it made everything very uncomfortable in working with them. So that's why I just kind of felt like quitting was better. And I did feel like it was a distraction to working my other job as a phone sex operator.
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The reason I feel that way is because I spent a lot less hours working that type of job. Because I would tire myself out. Working the other job one and not just that. It was during the weekend which is where I mainly make my money. And I also realize I actually have long sleeper syndrome. Which means that I really function better at 10 hours or more of sleep. So if I were to have a job like Taco Bell and phone sex that would be problematic. Because I don't think I would have enough time to work both jobs.
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And when I think of the longevity of the two jobs. I kind of feel like phone sex operator is a longer lasting job. Obviously I could do that until I'm like maybe like 80 if I wanted to. And it makes like way more money. Like I said without caring about what these people like what are their needs or whatever I make like $2,000 a month. So if I was to actually invest in how to do this right. I would probably make a lot more like if you looked at my listings it's only like one sentence. I really don't care when I make my listings. I really don't care when I'm on the phone. All I do is just make sure that I'm on the phone or have it on where someone can call me for like at least 14 to 16 hours a day. And it makes me a good amount of money where I can actually work and provide for myself. And not really even have to go out of my way. To make money. So I don't have to work hard I don't have to go anywhere to work. These are the benefits. But then there are some benefits to getting a job like Taco Bell like for example. I don't want to disclose to like snap or food benefits that I work as a telephone operator. And I don't have to. As long as I work at Taco Bell I can always put them as the place. That means I get benefits. And don't have to pay for my own food.
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Also another aspect to this is specifically like I said because it went downhill after that point. And the way I left. Was generally very I guess negative against the general manager. Like for example my mother hypothesizes that he is angry at me and trying to get back at me. Though he did send me a message saying I was hired. So I don't know. The way I left some people thought that I cursed everybody out and left. That's not what happened.
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What actually happened was I specifically posted a video to the work forum that we were on we had to work for them that we all messaged each other in. Basically it was like a crew app. The music video I linked had a curse word in it. And also I started talking about what I did at my job night flirt. And the reason I did that was because I had talked to one person after I talked to two people about what I did at night flirt there. Now one of the people I talked to was a manager about it. Like I would regularly tell that person well I think one time I told her. That I would call like men the b word and things like that. And that the drive-thru phone basically would make me want to respond basically the way I respond when I do night flirt. So anyway the video had the title my give a damn's busted Jodie Messina. And it wasn't just that. But I specifically like I said to that I made like $2,000 a month basically telling men to show things up there ass because the major part of my job is actually dominatrix work I guess you could say when it comes to phone sex work. Because I specifically am more focused on disrespecting people and then sometimes I get those other guys who they like disrespect but they like guys too they like pegging and things like that. So that's where I make my money.
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Anyway the system bleeped it out as if I cursed.Or said something along the lines of offensive language. But that was not what I was trying to convey I wasn't cursing anyone out. I was just saying I was done.
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The next day I texted the general manager. Just to make sure they understood all was over with. Pretty much the same message saying my give damn busted and I was done.
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So I quit. And then I at one point tried to apply. And then like it took 4 months or so it took a long period and then he finally was like he was saying that I was hired. So I still haven't responded back. I just kind of saw the text and moved along. I don't know should I say something? If I say something what should I say.? Should I say I'm done interested? Should I say I'm interested. To me it seemed like he gave that well maybe he was drunk? Cuz I mean the spelling is kind of off. So that's another thing to consider.
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Also I feel like it could be a distraction from my phone sex operating work. Because I do have a situation where it last time when I worked there. My phone sucks operating work went down to 200 a month. Because I did not have it on all day like I should have. I was too tired to work. I just wasn't putting in effort. Like I should have.
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I kind of do feel bad. Because I have been asking for the job for about a couple months. So I kind of feel bad now to say that I don't want the job. Because I've been asking for it this long. And I kind of feel bad cuz it's like I feel bad that I left so early. When usually I don't leave for the reasons I left. It was just like I said knowing that these people did not like me. And we're very negative. And I did not like but what they were saying behind my back. When you know I didn't have to know about that. If I would not have been told by my mom I'd have never know and probably still work there now. Which is why I feel it's super hostile to try to work there again. But in this town it's probably the only place I'll get a chance to work at. So what do you think I should do?

All credit for the world goes to u/spacepaladin15. As always, any feedback/critique is appreciated. I hope you enjoy!
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Memory Transcript Subject: Tressa, Venlil civilian Date [Standardized Human Time]: February 28th, 2177 Location: Lower sprawl of City 23, Venlil Prime 

Tipped Quill was a fairly small bar nestled in a sad corner of the lower sprawl. On a normal night, a trickle of customers shuffled through the doors, a light hum of activity which brightened the otherwise dismal street. An arm of the old city, torn to shreds during the Federation’s invasion of Venlil Prime; the Tipped Quill operated out of one of the only unburned buildings.
The whole area was slated to be reclaimed and rebuilt, but funding never seemed to reach it. The upper layer of City 23 soaked up that money like a sponge, leaving the largely impoverished citizens of the sprawl to their fate. Even with locally-funded reconstruction making the buildings habitable, the toxic ash meant cancer and respiratory issues ravaged their inhabitants. In some ways, however, the lack of oversight was a blessing. Anyone seeking some respite from the Federation’s suffocating pressure could carve out a home in the ruins of the old world.
​
As Tressa approached the Tipped Quill, his long-winded internal monologue gave way to a rising tension across his chest. The building seemed to loom over him, an imposing wall of half-crumbling plaster which reminded him how long he’d spent away. With a steadying breath, he took the final few steps up to the entrance.
A sign on the front insisted the bar was closed for “repairs”, but no matter. He knocked five times, with a pause after the third. One of the double doors opened just enough for Tressa to slip through, and the rustic-looking Gojid proprietor ushered him in.
While the exterior of the Tipped Quill looked barely more notable than the reconstructed ruins surrounding it, the inside was an unexpected delight. Warm and welcoming, filled with older-style furniture and illuminated by an honest-to-god hearth, the establishment could almost be mistaken for a historical recreation. The only thing setting it apart visually was the variety of stool heights, meant to accommodate human customers.
“Tressa!” the Gojid began, rushing back to the door and relocking it. “How’s it been? Haven’t seen you around here in a while, not since the last meeting. Everything good out there?”
Tressa suppressed a wince. “Yeah. Just… buried in work, you know how it gets.”
It didn’t really matter how believable his excuse was. Burai would see right through it. The old Gojid seemingly existed only to socialize, and could spot a lie as easily as he could sell one. That he used his silver tongue for good was nothing short of a blessing from the stars above.
“Right, sure. You know if anything happens, we have a bed here for you! And I’m sure James would appreciate the company.” Burai chuckled, and Tressa failed to cover up a second twitch of emotional soreness. He shot Burai a glare.
“Oh, come one! You get all quiet every time he’s in the room, and your tail keeps—”
The glare became a silent plea, prompting Burai to turn his back on the now mildly orange-tinted Venlil and cut himself off with another quiet chuckle. He sauntered over to the counter, long claw reaching past a row of low-proof alcohol and pressing a hidden switch embedded in the shelf.
On the opposite wall, a metallic print poster for a half-century old movie split in two and slid apart, revealing the main entrance to the Den. The layer of security was completely extraneous; no exterminators made their rounds out here. The only real function it served was to look neat, a purpose which it solemnly fulfilled night after night.
“The others are already waiting down there,” started Burai, leading Tressa down the poorly-lit stairwell. “Even Trish. In person.”
“In person? You don’t say. So what’s she got for us this time?”
“She didn’t tell me. She wanted us all to be there for the big reveal. Probably more weaponry, if you made me guess.”
The barrier to the Den proper was marked by a wooden door at the bottom of the stairs. Burai typed a code into the digital lock on the front; one final line of pointless-but-neat security. With that final flourish complete, he opened the door and stepped aside to invite Tressa through.
—
The Den used to be a small subterranean apartment, back before the Federation’s invasion. When exterminators began systematically burning Venlil Prime to the ground, several human families took desperate shelter in the abandoned building. Miraculously, the structure survived the fires which ravaged the surface.
Since that fateful day, little had changed in the building’s appearance. Unlike the interior of the Tipped Quill above which had been so painstakingly reconstructed to appear antique, the Den was an actual time capsule. A sanctuary. A place where all of them could feel at home. For Tressa, being back after such a long absence felt like sunlight on his ragged fur.
“Finally decided to show your face.” Sasha’s voice boomed from the couch. She turned to face Tressa, though her eyes remained focused on a sketchbook. “Was beginning to worry me. All of us, actually. Don’t do that again.” She cast a meaningful glance at the Venlil, before returning to her sketch.
Sasha was “rumored” to be ex-UN. They all knew it was obviously true. Even sitting on the couch, she towered over the rest of them, a wall of muscle hidden behind a thick plastic jacket and long graying hair tied back in a ponytail. Every once in a while, she’d get even more quiet and withdrawn than usual, eyes darting around the room wildly as though expecting the walls to close in. But the company she found here was doing her good; those episodes were a distant rarity rather than a norm. The majority of her time was now filled by learning about art, a subject which she attacked with fearsome vigor.
James was hunched over a stovetop, keeping an eye on a simmering pot of something which filled the air with a heavenly taste. “Hey, Tressa. It’s good to see you again. Gets lonely down here without you, y’know?” Unable to speak from a sudden pang of shame, Tressa waved a tail in a greeting gesture and tried not to make eye contact.
While the rest of them might call the Den home on any given night, James was here to stay. Booted from his job and apartment due to some Kolshian official complaining about “flesh-eating scum serving him food”, he didn’t have anywhere else to live. After a near-miss with an extermination officer, he didn’t even go outside anymore.
Rather than comforting him when he needed it most, Tressa had fled. At first, it was because he was simply overwhelmed and didn’t want to make things worse for James by misspeaking and messing things up further. But a couple days of avoidance turned into a couple weeks, as each passing day only made it more difficult to explain why he hadn’t been by the Den in so long. The shadow of guilt for abandoning his friend only added to his apprehension about coming back without a damn good reason.
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As it happened, being called in for an all-hands meeting qualified as a damn good reason. Although, one hand was curiously absent from the otherwise crowded living room.
“Wait, what about Trish? Was told she’d shown up in the fur.”
James nodded, sending waves through a mess of tall rust-brown hair. “She’s in the shower now. You know how long that dye takes to set, so might as well settle in and make yourself comfy. Stew’s gonna be ready in a moment.”
“We aren’t going to wait for her?”
“She doesn’t like squash. Something about the texture of it, I think… she never liked eating with other people anyway, hates the noise. She’s probably got something lined up for herself to enjoy alone.”
“Right, right. She’s got that… What did you call it, Sasha?”
Sasha shot him a look. “Term you’re fishing for is autism. But I never called it that. I don’t think xenopsychology is so simple that those terms carry over one-to-one.”
“Having any terms at all, other than ‘predator disease’, puts you ahead of modern psychologists by a wide margin.”
Burai spoke up. “Come now, Tressa. Everyone knows that a black and white classification is the best way of understanding the world. I mean, look how well the categories of ‘predator’ and ‘prey’ hold up! Need I even say more? You people these days with your ‘spectrums’ and your ‘nuance’ just don’t get the elegance of a nice, simple system of pure good and pure evil. No appreciation for the classics, I’m telling ya!”
James was next, talking as he ferried bowls of stew from the stove to the table. “Burai, you could hold a lucrative career as a Fed propagandist, y’know that? Don’t see what you’re fooling around with this whole bar business for.”
“I’m a man of the people. I mean, who else are they gonna go to? That place on central?” Burai scoffed with exaggerated derision, bristling his spines for good measure. “Rocket fuel and drain cleaner. A human couldn’t even survive a drink there, much less enjoy it.”
Sasha interjected at the remark, something about how she’d be fine, but Tressa was too busy enjoying the best cooking on the twilight edge of Venlil Prime to really notice her words. The warm buzz of chatter complemented the warmth of the stew, a combination which heated him body and soul. The frigid air and cold isolation of the world outside the Den began to feel like nothing more than a distant nightmare.
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My partner is classical musician who had a rough ride over the last few years as orchestra jobs are almost impossible to get. They have a masters. They also have chronic depression and PTSD. We dated for a year pre-covid. Became really serious during Covid and beyond. Four+ years total.
I started supplementing their income a few months before Covid (a hundred dollars here and there) because I could see how hard it was for them to get basic needs met.
During the first days of Covid they got triggered. All their roommates fled the city. They moved in with their father in the suburbs and received the covid government stipends. I had no financial participation in their lives at that time. I got a new apartment with my daughter in the city. (I share custody with my ex who lives three blocks away. Daughter is 9). They would visit and it was great.
My partner then moved upstate with friends as they no longer wanted to live in the suburbs or the city (loud and expensive). While upstate, they could not meet their bills as work continued to be hard to find. I suggested instacart etc but they also had a reason why this didn’t make sense. Largely — their mental state.
I began to heavily subsidize their income at this point ($1k-$3k month) and picked up their insurance costs atop. Now they are on my policy and getting good care.
After awhile, I moved them into my apartment in the city because I could not cover two homes, two cars etc. I now cover all their costs including car insurance, nutritionist (they have IBS amongst other things), vacations, food, etc. We have lived together now for six months.
They agreed to be the homemaker. They get groceries, get the cat nails trimmed, move the car for parking and keep things tidy as their contribution. I have a cleaning person who does deep cleans every two weeks. My daughter is not part of their responsibilities. She is at school or after programs for most of the day. Myself, her dad and sometimes babysitter (been with us for years), take her to after school, organize playdates, etc. I also pick up after myself, garden, buy food on the go, and also do laundry and dishes etc as needed.
My partner’s mental struggles and medication makes them sleep a lot. I find it hard to walk in on someone sleeping in the middle of the afternoon if I am working from home. Or to not be able to use the bedroom on Saturday because they stayed up all night and now will sleep till noon or one. Resentment is creeping in.
My partner has been agoraphobic since moving back to the city and rarely leaves the apartment. I forced them to yesterday. I hate that I did but oh well….! I find this unbearable. I admit I don’t love living with other people as it is and need time to decompress and recharge. The apartment is more like a condo with two floors and three bedrooms. And yet, I find very little alone time since my partner does not work, volunteer and seems really reluctant to leave the house or make friends. (They have 2-3 friends in the city but rarely see them). I feel like their only person in the world. And yes — I bought them a membership to a game night, I find classes they could take etc. Nada.
I found them a lawyer as it seems like employment is out of the picture. They have stopped playing music all together save 1-2 lessons a week. Not orchestra gigs or session work anymore. They have applied for SSI and it looks very likely they will receive after their hearings last week!!!! SSI in my state is almost nothing but it feels critical as it will help them get other benefits and provide some check stability through their life.
I love my partner! They are kind creative and have really high emotional eq and my daughter likes them but —— I am so stressed I have developed a medical condition of my own which can be greatly improved with lifestyle and nutrition changes. My partner is very supportive of me doing this and the low sex drive that comes with this condition. I hate this piece and am working on getting healthy!
I am at a loss. I want to support my partner but that increasingly feels bad. I can be too much of giver.
Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do? Have you stopped covering costs? Has anyone moved someone out and still stayed together? Any conversation tips? (We have had a few but it is time for a big one)
Any advice at all please.

1. ​

I went to the South Edmonton Mall yesterday and I bought an one of the most spiciest hot sauce in the world.
They say that it is really spicy so even if I try it a little, my tongue will feel like burn.
I often eat spicy food and I love it. So, I really needed it.
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2.
I needed a new pan and I found a good deal online. So I bought one.
But apparently, the company that is selling it has been closed down a few of their warehouses because of thier operating loss.
It has been a week now. But It looks like it's going to take a little longer.
3.
When I was in college, I had to study my majors and certifications. So I didn't get to try another things and hang out with my friends a lot. But now, I've been taken a break from college and I've been get to experience many things like living in Canada
4.
A: So, what is your phone?
B: My phone? It's Samsung Galaxy Note 20 ultra. It's the last model of Note series
A: Oh, really? I didn't know that. Is it good?
B: Yeah. This one is not very different from the Galaxy S23. It has more or less same in terms of the functions and the features. So, It costs the same as when it was first came out. Some colors are even more expensive.

If you’re planning on moving to Texas, you’re not alone. With its low cost of living, booming economy, and diverse culture, Texas has become a popular destination for people from all over the world. However, moving to a new state can be overwhelming, especially if you’re not familiar with the area. In this guide from the Moving Truck Driver website, we’ll provide you with everything you need to know to have a successful relocation to Texas, including tips for finding housing, navigating the job market, and making the most of your new home.

Tips for Finding Housing in Texas

When it comes to finding housing in Texas, it’s important to start your search early and be prepared for the competitive market. Here are some tips to help you find the perfect place to call home in the Lone Star State:

1. Research the Area: Before you start looking at specific properties, take some time to research the areas you’re interested in living in. Look for information on crime rates, school districts, transportation options, and local amenities like parks, shopping centers, and restaurants.
2. Use Online Resources: There are many online resources available for finding housing in Texas, including popular sites like Zillow, Trulia. These sites allow you to search for properties by location, price, size, and other factors, making it easy to narrow down your options.
3. Hire a Realtor: Working with a local realtor who is familiar with the area can be a great way to find the best properties that fit your needs and budget. They can also help you negotiate lease terms and provide valuable insight into the local housing market. Moving Truck Driver has relationships in most areas of the country, working with countless realtors throughout the years. If you would like a recommendation for finding a the right realtor for you, please let us know and we will be happy to make the connection.
4. Attend Open Houses: Attending open houses is a great way to see properties in person and get a feel for the local real estate market. Be sure to bring a list of questions to ask the agent or landlord, such as details on the lease agreement and any additional fees or deposits.
5. Consider Roommates: If you’re looking to save money on rent or want to live in a larger property than you could afford on your own, consider finding a roommate or roommates. There are many online resources for finding compatible roommates, such as Roommates.com.
6. Check Social Media Groups: Social media groups can be a great resource for finding housing in Texas, particularly in larger cities like Houston, Austin, and Dallas. Look for local groups that cater to renters or those looking for roommates, and be sure to ask for recommendations from members.

Popular Cities and Locations to Consider

Texas is a vast state with many popular cities and locations to choose from. Here are some of the top destinations that you may want to consider when moving to Texas:

1. Austin: Known as the “Live Music Capital of the World,” Austin is a vibrant city that offers a diverse culture, outdoor activities, and a thriving tech scene. It’s the state capital and home to the University of Texas at Austin.
2. Houston: The largest city in Texas, Houston is a hub for business and industry. It’s also known for its world-class museums, restaurants, and performing arts scene.
3. Dallas-Fort Worth: This metropolitan area is home to two major cities, Dallas and Fort Worth. Dallas is known for its shopping, dining, and nightlife, while Fort Worth is famous for its Western heritage and cowboy culture.
4. San Antonio: This historic city is home to the Alamo, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, as well as the famous River Walk, which features shops, restaurants, and entertainment venues.
5. El Paso: Located on the border with Mexico, El Paso has a unique culture that combines Mexican and Texan influences. It’s also home to the University of Texas at El Paso and the Franklin Mountains State Park.
6. Corpus Christi: This coastal city is known for its beaches, fishing, and outdoor activities. It’s also home to the Texas State Aquarium and the USS Lexington Museum on the Bay.
7. Galveston: Located on an island off the Gulf Coast, Galveston offers historic architecture, beautiful beaches, and a vibrant arts scene. It’s also home to Moody Gardens, a theme park and nature reserve.

These are just a few of the many popular cities and locations to consider when moving to Texas. Each one offers its own unique culture, attractions, and lifestyle, so be sure to research them thoroughly and choose the one that best fits your needs and preferences.

Navigating the Job Market in Texas

One of the first steps in navigating the job market in Texas is to research the industries that are thriving in the state. Texas is known for its strong energy sector, with a large number of oil and gas companies based in cities like Houston and Dallas. Additionally, the technology industry is growing rapidly in Austin, which has been dubbed “Silicon Hills” due to the high concentration of tech companies in the area.
Once you have identified the industries that interest you, it is important to start networking with professionals in those fields. This can include attending industry conferences and events, joining local professional organizations, and reaching out to people in your network who may have connections in Texas.
Another important aspect of navigating the job market in Texas is to tailor your resume and cover letter to the local market. This can include highlighting any relevant experience or skills that are particularly valuable in Texas industries, as well as using language and terminology that is commonly used in the local job market.
Finally, it is important to be flexible and open to opportunities in different parts of the state. While certain industries may be concentrated in specific cities, there are often job opportunities in other areas as well. By keeping an open mind and considering a variety of job options, you can increase your chances of finding a job that is both fulfilling and financially rewarding.

Making the Most of Your New Home in Texas

Texas has a lot to offer, from its diverse culture to its unique geography, and there are plenty of ways to enjoy your new home. Here are some tips for making the most of your new life in Texas:

1. Get to know your community: Texas is a state with a strong sense of community, and getting involved in your local neighborhood can help you feel more connected to your new home. Attend local events and festivals, join a community group or club, or volunteer for a local charity to meet new people and become more engaged in your community.
2. Explore the outdoors: Texas is home to some of the most stunning natural landscapes in the country, from the rolling hills of the Hill Country to the rugged canyons of West Texas. Take advantage of the state’s many parks, hiking trails, and outdoor recreation opportunities to stay active and explore your new surroundings.
3. Embrace the culture: Texas has a rich cultural heritage, from its cowboy and ranching history to its vibrant music scene. Take in a live music performance, visit a historic site or museum, or attend a local rodeo or county fair to experience the unique culture of your new home.
4. Try new foods: Texas is known for its delicious cuisine, from barbecue and Tex-Mex to kolaches and pecan pie. Sample the local cuisine and try new restaurants and food trucks to discover your new favorite dishes.
5. Take weekend trips: Texas is a big state with plenty to see and do, so take advantage of weekend trips to explore different cities and regions. Whether it’s a beach trip to Galveston or a wine tasting tour in the Hill Country, there’s always something new to discover in Texas.

Why Choose a Moving Service that Specializes in U-Haul and Penske Trucks

Choosing a moving service that specializes in U-Haul and Penske trucks has several benefits. Firstly, U-Haul and Penske trucks are known for their reliability and durability, making them ideal for long-distance moves. These trucks are regularly serviced and maintained to ensure they are in top condition, which reduces the likelihood of breakdowns and delays during the move. Secondly, these moving companies, typically have a large fleet of trucks available in different sizes, allowing you to choose the truck that best suits your needs. This is especially important if you have a large household or need to transport heavy or bulky items, as you can select a truck with a higher capacity.
Moreover, moving companies that specialize in U-Haul and Penske trucks often have experienced and well-trained drivers who can handle the logistics of a move efficiently. They are knowledgeable about the best routes to take and the regulations that need to be followed when transporting goods across state lines. They also have the necessary equipment and tools to load and unload your belongings safely, minimizing the risk of damage or loss. Additionally, many of these companies offer additional services such as packing, loading and unloading, and storage solutions, making the entire moving process more convenient and stress-free.
Overall, choosing a moving service that specializes in U-Haul and Penske trucks can help ensure that your move to Texas is a smooth and successful one. With a reliable truck and experienced drivers, you can focus on settling into your new home and starting your new life in this exciting and dynamic state.

A Practical Checklist for Moving to Texas

With a practical checklist, you can make the process much smoother. Here are some steps you can take to ensure that your move to Texas is successful:

1. Plan Ahead: Make a detailed plan for your move, including the date of your move, the items you need to pack, and any services you may need, such as a moving truck, packing supplies, or professional movers.
2. Declutter and Donate: Before you start packing, declutter your belongings and donate any items that you don’t need or want anymore. This can save you time and money in packing and moving unnecessary items.
3. Change Your Address: Be sure to change your address with the United States Postal Service at least two weeks before your move to ensure that your mail is forwarded to your new address.
4. Update Your Utilities: Contact your utility companies and inform them of your move, so that they can discontinue service at your old address and start service at your new address.
5. Research Local Services: Research local services in your new area, such as schools, healthcare providers, and grocery stores. This can help you feel more comfortable and settled in your new home.
6. Prepare Your New Home: Make sure your new home is ready for your arrival. Clean it thoroughly, unpack essential items first, and set up necessary utilities and services.
7. Meet Your Neighbors: Introduce yourself to your new neighbors, join community groups, and attend local events to get involved in your new community and make new connections.

Conclusion

Moving to Texas can be an exciting and life-changing experience. Whether you are relocating for a new job opportunity or simply seeking a change of scenery, the Lone Star State offers a unique blend of culture, diversity, and natural beauty. However, it’s important to be well-prepared for the transition and to take steps to ensure a successful relocation. By utilizing the tips and tricks outlined in this ultimate guide, such as utilizing a moving service that specializes in U-Haul and Penske trucks like Moving Truck Driver, researching popular cities and locations to consider, navigating the job market, finding housing, and making the most of your new home, you can make your move to Texas a seamless and enjoyable experience. So pack your bags, hit the road, and get ready to embark on a new adventure in the Lone Star State!

Editors note:This came from a phone,held by a 7th grader,so expect spelling mistakes and possible rewrites in the future.
Tom heard a knocking at the door,followed by the bellows of at least six fluffies begging to be let in. Tom opened the door before being rushed by fluffies trying to enter . A yellow smartie mare bombarded Tom with threats and "requests",starting out with "Dummi hooman ou on smartie teritory nao! Haf babye starfin out er!" She points to an aloof blue and brown mare,crying and embarrassed about how his leader was acting before going to his white and red mother,suckling on her teats before crying due to him not getting anything.
Tom questions this due to the brown babies mother looking more than just "plump". "Okay,okay,I'll let y'all in" Tom remarked before bringing them to his outback garden,which he has fenced all other wildlife and crops from the herd.
"Thamk u suu much,babbehs hab su mush sketti amd heart huggies! Ou is new daddy now!" An orange mare excitedly called out,looking gracious to Tom. "She must be the poopie fluffies caretaker,due to the white mare either being fixed,or having a deformity like a ret-Derp fluffy."Tom thought.
Tom saw the poopie fluffy and checked up on it,making sure it wasn't abused.He saw bruises and scars lining up and down the fluffy. "He was traumatized by the abuse,and due to the white mare (Mother will be her name ig) not feeding him milk,he probably thinks he has nothing in the world" Tom thought. "Hey buddy?" Tom called out to the brown mares thousand yard stare. "Well,I'm just gonna call you brown sugar" Tom added on,trying to make it think it was worth,something. "Tank ou." Buttercup responded with some clear and consistent goal.
B.S. Pov NOTE FOR BS:I'm not gonna make him think fluffy because this is taking me hours to write. Oh and I'm starting after toms Pov
"To believe that I'm worth loving,and to fight for that claim for as long as I am alive and not crippled."Brown sugar found his goal!
Suddenly,Tom placed me outside,before he placed food and water out. My older sister stood beside me,with her 2ft stature she was huge,and her green fur she practically was a ghilly suit.She was a hornie wingie baby. She protected me,and my "wunt" Brother. He was about the size of an adult microfluffy,and he was wingie baby.He is a mix of green and white. I feel like I blend in due to me being an earthie baby. After this rebuttal I get kicked by our smartie before my sister tramples over her and pick's me up.
AIGHT IM DONE WITH DIS UNTIL NEXT TIEEMM

(Inspired by this writing prompt, but put into its own post because replies have annoying character limits)
Kin'kar Q'qlan (Translation: He who Slays Death) considered the small prey creature before him. Though doing so was quite difficult, considering this was anything but the usual circumstances under which he does so.
Normally, when he is considering a prey creature he is thinking about its anatomical structure, its behavior. He analyzes its movements, its shape, its hide, its weapons. He formulates a plan for how he shall slay it and claim its skull. Utilizing whatever assistance was afforded him for that particualr hunt, he would identify its tendons, joints, cracks in its chitin if it were exoskeletal, and the like.
But now he is to consider this creature's words. Even now, several months after learning of this recently uplifted species, the very idea astonishes him. A prey species that speaks. He was sent here to as the most prodigious hunter amongst the Karkians (Translation: Hunters), and thus their best consultant in such matters.
He must clear his thoughts, he shall begin again at the beginning- when Humanity's existence was first announced by the Imperial Throne to the rest of the galaxy. Apparently the Imperial Throne had discovered the existence of a sapient species months prior- of course conducting its own investigations before making the discovery public. Normally such an event is already cause for a stir, as such species are rarely discovered as a Pre-FTL civilization. The period of development between pre-sapient and starfaring is, compared to the scale of the universe, quite short. It is commonly held that the odds of a sapient species existing in a stage of computerized technological development simultaneously with several other FTL capable species is astronomically unlikely once more than a handful of species have achieved FTL and began expanding to other systems.
But this particular discovery has shaken the foundations of everything known about sapient evolution. For many centuries it has been held by the wisest and eldest of all civilizations that the energy requirements of sapience cannot be sustained by anything less than an apex super-predator- an animal species which preys upon all other species in their planetary environment. To sustain an conscious mind requires frequent consumption of highly energy dense food, of which only a handful of species on any given world are comprised of. While omnivorous sapients are not unheard of, it is rare for circumstances to allow the justification of time spent for a pre-industrial sapient on anything other than mating, development, or hunting. For most, one of these things becomes a cultural centerpoint. For Karkians such as Kin'kar, Hunting is the pride of their people- so much so that they still frequently participate in technologically restricted ritual hunting both for entertainment, and as a method for the resolution of otherwise unresolvable disputes.
Yet, if the Imperial Throne's report is to be believed, this species descends from a sub-predator species. That is, a species of "predators" who are themselves frequently preyed upon by typically more powerful apex predators. Though Kin'kar is loathe to call such a thing a predator. To Karkians, you are either the hunter or the hunted, and never both. Yet, somehow, these prey animals evolved sapience and eventually overcame their evolutionary predators, no longer vulnerable to being hunted- but neither assuming the role of Apex hunter and super-predating. Not for food, anyways. Also perplexingly, their overcoming of this previously thought unbreakable food chain was prompted by technological development.
In other words- they became sapient before becoming their planet's apex species. Kin'kar unconsciously loosed several clicks, to the confusion of his guest. No matter how many times he says it to himself or confirms the accuracy of the reports, he can hardly believe it. According to Throne scientists, Humanity invented naturally developed Agriculture- a concept which was previously only theorized as a possible route to the energy requirements of a populous sapient species. Previously, the primary restriction factor for sapient species was sustaining large numbers- the energy requirements of conscious thought meant that species numbers were limited by the availability of food. Only slow development of technology allowing hunting of more and more prey species across more environments more easily could allow a species to grow and begin affording members time to focus on technological development rather than survival. Many scientists believed that, theoretically, the artificial cultivation of plant species could provide this energy- but such ideas were unilaterally passed off as impossible, as an herbivorous species would never be able to evolve the intelligence necessary to begin with, and most omnivorous species developed as a result of an environment were time efficiency was so extremely crucial to survival and food so scarce that it was unfeasible to waste any on such slow methods that could get them killed for no reason other than bad luck.
Yet here Humanity was- having just proven centuries of crackpot theorists correct. An omnivorous species of sub-predators which developed Agriculture as their primary means of sustaining large populations.
"Is something wrong?" the human spoke, their name was 'Isaac'- though this species was one which did not maintain meaning translations for most names and so Kin'kar knew not the significance of the title. Such an odd thing, to claim a name which has no meaning...
"No, apologies. I was lost in thought. Your existence... your people, that is, are perplexing to me." He responded in Honor-Authoritative, though he has been told that human translators are only capable of two tonal discrepencies. Communication must have been difficult for this species, yet another confusing fact.
"Yeah, we get that alot. The boys back home are still mulling over the Imperial Throne's scientific data. It's shattered everything we thought we knew about evolution." He spoke in what Kin'kar's translator indicated as Honor-Mutual. Normally, a Q'qlan would challenge such speech with a ritual hunt to enforce an appropriate speech tone. However, he must be lenient with this species who is unaware of his people's ways. They will learn- this is his mission, afterall. He has been sent by the High Order of the Huntresses to both share Karkian culture and learn human culture- so that the Matrons may establish proper political channels. Though not quite the hunt he is accustomed to, it is an honor to have been selected for such a task.
"The feeling is mutual. Humanity has shattered everything the galaxy knew about sapient evolution. Tell me, is it really true that your kind are not hunters?" He asked, expecting a particular answer.
The human, Isaac, spoke, "Well, sort of. We're not currently hunters, not really. We've long since surpassed the need to truly hunt for survival. There was a time in our history where hunting was critical for our survival- but once Agriculture developed, it slowly became a secondary, then tertiary concern. Until, eventually, it was simply superfluous and unneeded compared to Herding and Farming. Though the practice remained popular for non-food related materials, and even sport, until a a few centuries ago. Nowadays, hunting at all is frowned upon unless you're living alone in the woods somewhere and need to to survive."
Kin'kar was not expecting this answer. He knew, of course, that they were sub-predators. In the back of his mind, there was small relief that this species was not entirely herbivorous. They did have to hunt at some point for the energy cost of sapience. But to think that agriculture was so effective that hunting as a strategy became... obsolete? He knew it was not Isaac's fault, but the very thought made his blood boil. Literally. Karkian blood is, uniquely to their species, capable of boiling without causing damage- their veins are semi-permeable to gases, and on especially hot days the blood in veins on the surface of their skin would boil to release heat in the form of vapor. This also doubled as a way to apply scent markings to territory, and to attract mates.
"I'm sorry, you're, uhm. Uh... you're steaming? Literally? Wow. Uh, I didn't mean to anger you, deepest apologies." Isaac spoke, now in... Dishonor-subordinate? Kin'kar shook his head again, he must dissuade his instincts- lest this individuals fluctuating tone's confuse him further.
"Do not apologize for that which is not your fault. I was.. the thought of hunting becoming obsolete. For Karkians, the Hunt is a millenia honored tradition- to call it... 'unneeded' is... agitating. I cannot blame you, you did not know. You said your species used Herding as well? I was only aware of your heavy use of Agriculture." Kin'kar inquired as a way to distract from the agitation.
Herding was known to the Galaxy, even super-predating species cannot sustain hunting alone forever. As populations grow, industrial scale animal processing becomes an inevitability. Not the least because without it, a sufficiently populous species would wipe out all life on their planet! It seems even Humanity could not avoid this, which was oddly comforting. A small bit of reason underneath the foundation of this incredulous species. Kin'kar was still remiss about humanity's apparent disfavor for hunting- at one point they even engaged in it for sport! If that had been the humanity the Imperial Throne discovered, then perhaps this conversation would be easier held during a Communion hunt... but alas, the offer was rejected prior even to his arrival.
"Yes, as humanity spread out across the planet in our primitive days-"
"What?" Kin'kar interrupted, perhaps slightly dishonorably though he doubted the human even noticed.
"Humanity spread out across the planet in our primitive days?" Isaac repeated.
"You.. humanity encompassed their entire world before industrializing?" Kin'kar clarified, flabbergasted.
"Actually, before even agriculture truly developed, there were tribes of humans both nomadic and static all over the planet with exception to only a few particularly hostile locations that hardly supported large ecosystems to begin with. Even some of the most remote regions had human tribes, due to ancient geological landbridges that formed during the Ice Ages." Isaac stated with such confidence and stability that even the translator identified absolutely no deception.
This was entire unforeseen. Not even Throne data sharing revealed this. Most species did not expand beyond their evolutionary roots until they began to develop tools for surviving off-environments. Some rare species had durability enough to survive the entire breadth of a continent's temperature and seasonal terrains, but it was literally unheard of for one to be capable of surviving every single planetary ecosystem without the aid of technology to enable the hunting of physically more powerful predators and thus expansion of food sources for, of course, larger populations. Yet, somehow, humanity had done precisely that.
"How? How could a pre-sapient prey species spread across the entire planet and survive without technology to adapt to differing seasonal variations and weapons to hunt and survive its predators- especially foreign predators?" Kin'kar almost exclaimed, not even realizing what he had called humanity...
"I am sorry, but I must correct you. Humanity, even then, was not a 'pre-sapient prey species', as you put it." Isaac spoke again, again with absolute sureity.
"W-what!? But.. the records. The throne's data, the report I received. Your species is descended from prey animals, is it not? Hunteed frequently by... apologies for the enunciation of this word... 'Lee-oh-pahrds', 'Leeohns', and 'Huheenahs' even during your development? You've even stated that you hold life, even that of lesser species, as sacred and have extensive laws for animal rights?" Kin'kar retored, trying desperately to confirm his information.
"I see you have been.. at least slightly misinformed. Or perhaps have misinterpreted. Your report clearly is not firsthand, in any case." Isaac stated, quite calmly. He stood, activating the holo projector to show Earth side by side with what appeared to be a less evolved human.
"As you say, we are descended from 'prey' animals. A species of hominids, er, well I suppose that just means human ancestor huh, well. A species that came before us, were in fact prey to many varieties of animal in our evolutionary basin, the African Savanahh here-" the holo shifted to show the world's second largest continent, specifically the upper middle portion of it, "-Hyenas, Lions, Leopords mostly. But even so, they still occasionally hunted- only our eldest ancestors so removed so as to hardly be considered hominids were not omnivorous. However, hunting was difficult and infrequent- so ancient diets consisted of a mix of a variety of things including berries, nuts, insects, and whatever meat we could get our hands on. We formed large packs, herds, whatever you want to call the group structure to provide mutual support and keep eyes out for predators. The key to our success was that, even in those times, our intelligence vastly outclassed other animals and enabled us out to outposition, outmaneuver, and generally avoid predators whilst tricking other animals into traps they couldn't escape from. We leveraged our endurance to run down prey until it literally died of exhaustion, then stripped the corpse for as long as it took scavengers to push us away. The moment we began to make use of tools, however, it was over. Not even scavengers could push us away from kills, and even predators risked their own lives with every hunt against us. With tools, hunting in combination with foraging became the staple strategy for just under 2 million years. It wasn't until about a hundred-ish millenia ago when we finally left our evolutionary basin to other continents, due mostly to the Ice Ages forcing us to adapt or die. Thus began the great human migration to basically the entire planet, thanks mostly to lowered sea levels creating land bridges to other continents and prevalent island chains allowing short-term sea travel to the more remote locations. Agriculture didn't really come about until around 12,000ish years ago at which point civilization really kickstarted as tribes of maybe a hundred or so could finally start growing bigger." Isaac concluded, or perhaps simply paused, to allow Kin'kar a chance to process and respond.
"This... I..." His mind raced, shifting with great speed between awe, wonder, confusion, and... fear? Legitimate fear? His hearts raced, thumping their tandem beat as if he were on the trail of dangerous game. He could not shake it. The Throne's were wrong- as they often were the fools, Kin'kar should have known better. This was no mere 'prey' species- they were a trap! Their looks, their attitudes, their culture.. everything is just a trick! A facade meant to lull the other species into a false sense of security. But now.. now he could truly see into Isaac's gaze- see his intent. Where before Kin'kar was confused as to this creature's confidence, curious as to how a prey animal could maintain such a solid gaze. Now he knew for certain.
It was he who was being hunted. All this time, it was Kin'kar who was being analyzed. Studied. Picked apart. Were this truly a Communion hunt, Kin'kar would already have dishonored his people a hundred times over. He would have no choice but to return home in shame and allow another to take the mantle. He thanked the ancestors this did not come to pass.
This species, first a prey animal, in the span of merely 2 million years evolved into a what Kin'kar can only describe as an optional super-predator. A species that could easily overwhelm and dominate any ecosystem it was in- predate upon all of its top predators, and come out with more bounty for it. But they didn't. They opted for mutuality. They survived the predators, but focused on the core prey animals. They continued to supplement their hunt of less efficient game with foraging- using both tactics at once as most omnivorous species do. But not out of necessity. Not out of need.
But because that's just what they wanted to do. Because they did not need to hunt more efficiently. They had evolved an intelligent brain 'even back then' Isaac had said.. even before becoming the planetary apex. Just how efficient were they? Running prey to death by exhaustion? Not even with tools or weapons? Just.. chasing it until it died? How in all the galaxy could they support an intelligent mind on, ostensibly, such low energy costs? It was preposterous! Even the most generous theories tossed out such ridiculous notions as a herbivorous-favoring omnivore with intelligence...
There was only one question Kin'kar knew to ask. He was no scientist, but even he understood some biological basics.
"The translator should translate this correctly. How many Calories does a human require for daily functions?" Kin'kar asked, dreading the answer.
"Most estimates place it at around 2,000 for a healthy diet, though that can vary by as much as a thousand or more." He stated, his expression plain and unassuming as if he did not just invoke a ritual to make Jorq'inian roll in his grave. As if he did not just overturn over ten millenia of scientific research. As if his statement did not change the face of the galaxy. Kin'kar did not steam. He froze. The death sentence. The primordial locking of joints that was often seen as a sign of weakness, a base fear response instinct that Karkians possessed as a holdover from their ancestor species- from even before they had become super-predators. To show it in the presence of other Karkians was the surest way to lose all honor. To become outcast, destitute, and stripped of titles. Even though he was the only Karkian here, and thus his position maintained- this moment would haunt Kin'kar for the rest of his days. The day he knew true, primordial fear. When he finally grasped the sheer level of danger Humanity presented.
A species that defied Jorq'inians law of evolution. It all suddenly made sense. No wonder they did not need to super-predate to survive. They simply broke the laws and developed caloric efficiency beyond all theories. They could support a brain, advanced muscle structures, strength, endurance... everything on far less than any other species needed.
Kin'kars mind reached even further into the depths of terror.
They developed agriculture. The Theory of Agriculture was straightforward. On Paper it could provide far higher net energy than predation, if done properly. The main issue was that by the time any species had the means to utilize it, industrial scale animal processing had already developed and the relative cost of low-technological agriculture was just too high to warrant spending countless centuries developing it when one could simply just expand their current methods.
But Humanity, who was already so incredibly energy efficient. Already capable of hunting all they needed and then some, already in position to truly become super-predators; Humanity developed Agriculture. Twelve thousand years ago? Kin'kar hadn't even registered that number just yet, but now that he thinks about it, the average time between developing of mass animal processing and FTL was typically in the thirty to forty thousand range.
And Humanity did it in twelve. By the time most species were computerized and beginning to look beyond their planets, Humanity was tribal and farming plants.
And here they are, now entering the Galactic stage barely ten or so millenia after the rise of the first FTL civilization- the Imperial Throne. The speed of their development is terrifying. Kin'kar knew this could mean only one thing. This was them. This was the Junt'Bah. The unhuntable. The most dangerous game. The one species that no Karkian ever survived pursuit of. Rumors of their existence began only barely a century ago- when rumors of a world containing supposedly plentiful game was discovered and the parties sent to it never returned. Rumor has it that the first to go there returned after a successful first hunt. But the second was not so. The next party to follow never returned. Or the next. Or the next... information was scarce, as those who knew of the planet's location were either dead or so fearful of it that they refused to reveal its whereabouts. The rumors spread like wildfire, though the vast majority of Karkian society disregarded them as a pipe-dream thought up by dis-satisfied hunters wishing to make up pretense for fallacious boasts.
But now, Kin'kar knew it was the truth. The timing is too perfect. Barely a century ago, if the report is true, Humanity had began to develop basic tech-weapons and enter early militarization (at least what passed for such things in galactic society). If the first hunt was successful, that would imply some element of surprise was at play.. but if the subsequent ones were not. Kin'kar was in grave danger, did he know? Was humanity already aware of Karkians even before the uplift began? Was this some kind of trap? Would he ever see his mate again?
"Kin'kar? Are you alright? You look pale." Isaac noted in- damn the translator. He could be speaking primitive-infant right now and Kin'kar would still be afraid. He had to respond, to maintain some semblance of authority before the predator got any ideas...
"I am fine, I was just. Surprised, at the information. I will... have to update our records. Could you provide a more... direct document? I am not exactly a scientist, I am merely my people's best hunter..." Kin'kar spoke, unconsciously using Dishonor-Submissive...
"Ah, yes, your people. I was hoping we could discuss them some? I've just shared most of my people's history, afterall.." Isaac expectantly lead.
"O-oh, yes, of course..." Kin'kar submitted.
In the coming days, the Karkian empire would enter into a Defensive pact with Humanity in a political move that stunned the entire galaxy. Karkians were notoriously fierce and highly independent, militarily capable of resisting Imperial annexation whilst holding strategically important worlds that precluded annihilation class weapons. A fact that their High Order of Huntresses frequently leveraged during political talks and attempts to trade. Yet, for seemingly no discernible reason, they entered and equal-footing defensive agreement with Humanity- enabling the newly uplifted species to resist Imperial annexation and remain independant. Rumor has it this was preluded by a dramatic shift in Karkian authority, with nearly half their high order stepping down and being replaced by subordinates after some kind of cultural scandal- though no other species truly knew what happened when Kin'kar's report reached the council's eyes. They did not know how much blood was shed that day.
Humanity, for their part, was very glad to have the Predators on their side. Much better than the movies.

TW : body image + discussion of eating
So, I've had it multiple times from my grandad that my eating isn't great, or my habits as a whole aren't good. I don't drink much, I just forget. A while ago, he turned to me and said "want this food? Oh wait, of course you will. Even after all that". Emphasis on the "ALL THAT".
Well today, and of course, many more times. Today like 2 hours after eating a meal (chicken dinner for those who are British lol). And I get up and he goes "where are you going?", "going for chocolate covered strawberries". When I leave the room, he goes, so loud. "Grandma.. she's eating again!!" I wanted to die. I wanted to throw the food at the wall. Just throw up. I haven't eaten breakfast, I've had 2 drinks in the past 9 hours. Let me fucking life.
And everyone wonders why I couldn't look into a mirror for 4 years. And why I can't eat sometimes, or I just binge eat.

So last night me and my bf attended his childhood friend’s gender reveal. My bf best friend rode with us since the event was 1hr away and we all live within 20-30min from eachother. I drove (civic) to my bf house and parked, and then we took his car (SUV) to get his friend and go to the venue. I needed up driving to the venue because my bf wasn’t ready to leave when we needed to so I took his car and picked up his friend solo to save time.
Anyway, none of us were familiar with the area the event was in. My grandmother and best friend both live relatively close to the event, but personally it didn’t help since the event was in a strangers (to us) house. For days and hours beforehand I kept asking my bf to find out information about the party. The invite said 3, but my bf kept pushing back the time until we arrived at 7, still appearing before his friend. So to sum that up my bf clearly slacked in the info department. But I’ve noticed that is a commonality amongst guys (at least according to other f writer on Reddit), so even thought it annoys me it not even what sent me other the roof.
We understood that my bf friend and the mother of his unborn child are not in any form of relationship. It was one of those “accidental” one night stand situations. So the event was hosted by the girls family while he was just instructed to invite some people close to him. With that being said him and my bf have always been close, basically family. Leading up to yesterday I’d been asking about who else I might know at the event, but my bf always just told me his bff only.
Well 10min into the event we are all chilling and drinking until two girls enter. Now I know I’ll sound crazy but one of them looked like a spitting image of me. They approached our area and greeted everyone except me and my bf. Assuming it’s because they didn’t know him & thus me there was not reason to take offense. The one who looked like me kept looking over at us, so I gave a few smiles to make way for approach. But then the group shifted outside to allow the smokers a chance to smoke. Absent of the girls my bf pulls me aside & tells me that the girl who looks like me is his ex (let’s call her M).
M and my bf dated before my partners previous relationship, meaning there is a whole relationship between us. However when his second relationship ended him and M rekindled up until about 2mo before we met. I learned about her towards the end of our first year dating (we been dating for 3 going on 4) after finding sex tapes they’ve made in his phone.
Immediately I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed for smiling in her face when she didn’t smile back. I was embarrassed that whenever me & my bf came near she would turn away and start laughing with her friend.
Finally we left. The 3 of us sat in the car a while before leaving trying to pinpoint a bar with good food. I noticed that less than 5min after we left, the girls left. My bf kept telling me it was a coincidence, while remaining admit that he didn’t even know his friend knew those girls.
We settled for a Mexican bar. I was talking otp to my dad outside when my bf & his bff went inside to find us a spot. By time I got inside they’d already downed two mixed drinks & a round of shots. I understood from that I was the designated driver.
We left around 1am. I dropped my bf friend off first before returning to my boys place to switch into my car. He seemed to be wide awake and sobering up as we FaceTimed my whole drive home.
I live in an apartment complex with street parking. Since it was so late I had to park a few blocks away. I gave my bf a heads up when I was getting out the car since on nights like these I stress the importance of talking to him for the illusion of safety. Well he must’ve responded “okay” before throwing his phone away bc half a block into my walk two hammered guys cross the street over to me. In hindsight it was also clear that I wasn’t in top shape either but I stumbled to keeps things together.
I had a AirPod in and kept calling out to my bf but couldn’t get a response. The two guys blocked my way to where I had to walk through them to pass. I was in the clear after for about half a block when I dropped my keys accidentally & stumbled to pick them up. That’s when the two guys begin following me, this continued for a few blocks. One was singing something intended to be romantic, while the other kept offering to help me end my night, detailing my beauty, and made soft animal noises at me.
I ended up walking past my house towards a nearby local bar to create the illusion that someone may be waiting for me. I had hung up on my bf and continued to call him repeatedly receiving voicemail each time. I started to fear he fell asleep so when I reached a more trafficked area, I pulled against a wall to check behind me. The guys had turned up the corner at the start of the block, but I waited for a while in place before back trailing. I didn’t want them to be taking a seat nearby and run into them on my way back home.
I sent a bf a few frantic text just to update him. Maybe bc I was intoxicated but I felt so scared. Mentally preparing myself for the worse case scenario I felt almost disconnected from reality. I managed to make my way back home SAFELY, and right as I enter my building my bf calls me. He tells me in an upbeat tone that he was simply out of the room. I frantically summarize what happened in his absence and his response was “Ohh I’m sorry. I’m just really drunk. I had a lot of fun tonight tho, did you ?” All I could say was that I was tired and would call him in the morning.
Anyway he called me this morning in a great mood. Wish the same could be said for myself. I really felt let down by him yesterday in multiple instances, but don’t know if any of them are major enough to risk an argument over. I woke up this morning feeling down, not necessarily sad but definitely down. I’ve never felt more confused.

look what i can do now?! i was so lost and confused about the text box, and i just needed to update my app:33
why do i feel like im repeating myself?
i hope you slept well since you set your bitmoji as doing so.
i had a diffcult evening yesterday after a relatively good day. i, of course, do not want to be a narcissist, so i am way hard on myself when i self examine. thankfully, npd vs bpd was on the list. doc was out the day before, but maybe it was a sign i need to go to a different clinic to get update on my diagnosis. We Are One Tonight is on now, and I'm feelin' it (even tho i didn't save any of the playlists like i said i would 🙈) it happens. heyy well he sings "please slow down down down..." sooo... goodness this is lovely.
i sent you a snap of us in-store grocery shopping for her first time, but i didn't tell you, she calls it the market, and she's ready to go to the market again lol she told just about every person she saw hi and oh when the other babies said hi too she lit up!
her new car seat is so much better than the one we were borrowing now if she falls asleep it won't hurt her spine. so thankful for this. we finally got new snacks! i'd have preferred just a decent produce selection, but it'll work out. gotta stay positive. i know i'm overly critical of myself with this but idc it was still too much sugar and she needs more variety in her diet. apparently, she really likes yogurt. we stopped it when we thought she might be lactose intolerant and i waited to reintroduce it just in case. i'm thankful they still carry yo-baby.
this whole corporations raising their prices in false inflation and receiving record high profits... it's really messed up, man. we still needed almost another $200.
at least, i also learned that divorce is free or nearly free if you don't plan to have a court battle! we've no need for court, so double thumbs up!!
i'm not trying to make any promises i'm not sure i can keep. i'm fairly certain it still takes time to finalize it, but i am hoping that when i come to pick you up i will legally be a single woman. i don't want to tell you this tho because idk we lit just learned it's not gonna cost us like we thought it would. we have finances we have to settle as "married".
i'm considering SNAP/TANF as separated now, but there's $3000+ we could have for food that for some reason didn't get to us when we applied, but they will back pay if we wait to tell the government we're not living as a married couple. since it was in his name, i don't think they'll give it to me, but also i am sickened by the thought of waiting just for money. that's not what my faith says to do, you know. if i follow my spiritual beliefs... and that's a whole big lesson i'm facing right now, isn't it? i want to talk to you, but i think you'd say to test God in this like i told you He says to do if we're struggling to believe the effectiveness of tithing joyfully.
it bewilders me you read my lengthy messages but even moreso you don't tell me it's too much. all you ask is for me to slow down so you don't miss anything. it guts me i sped up.
signed,
your little windmill.
"never gonna give you up..." 🎶
sometimes windmills twirl fast, sometimes windmills twirl slow, sometimes they do not twirl.
i just thought i was a narcissist and needed to protect you from me. felt like i needed to stop trying to reach out, but also like that could be perceived as manipulation. so that was a trip. i'm just playful. not self diagnosing, but i am fairly confident at this point bpd is my label if need be.
i appreciate i can use this text box, but the entire world reading this is kinda 😳 lol
wow tho wow i really am capable of texting so much.

I recently got out of a very long, and very toxic relationship. To put it shortly, it ended with me being basically isolated with absolutely no friends, other than my family.
I decided to take a 3 week trip to SEA, and I’m 2 1/2 weeks in. In all, it’s been great and amazing! I’ve been able to remind myself how big the world is, I’ve had time to think, and I’ve met some amazing people. The way my head has cleared has been a blessing.
But I made the ‘mistake’ of going on a cruise at the end of my trip. I’m currently writing this on a 2D/1N cruise in Ha Long Bay. I figured 2D was nothing.
But being on a boat with only couples and groups is taxing to say the least. I’m not a talkative person, I usually don’t initiate conversation. And with so many couples doing their own thing, I feel obnoxious butting into their conversations with their partner.
When I try to connect with groups, it’s a bit better, but it’s still taxing. It’s been the same 21-questions thing. (Where are you from? I’m from x? Oh wow, I heard y about that place? How are you fairing with the weather, etc.) It reminds me I don't have any actual friends - here or back home.
I don’t have anyone to talk to back home, or tell them about my adventures. Because of this relationship, I have no friends, and this cruise has highlighted that a bit.
I just had a good cry session in my cabin to my mom on the phone.
What do I do in this case? At least on land you can go to a pub crawl or stuff your face in street food - but what the hell do I do on a boat where you can't really outrun the loneliness?
The bay is beautiful, and I'm so grateful to be here, but I'm kinda dreading tomorrows kanoe trip. Have mercy for whatever sorry sod gets separated from their group and stuck with my awkward, uncoordinated, weakling ass.
Any advice or words? Thanks.

Link to chapter on RoyalRoad
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Brown, Ayomide and Hakim were currently busy in the forest outside of Azdavay, looking for wood that could be converted into weaponry.
“Captain! I have great news!” The one shouting with great excitement was Hakim, who was holding a bundle of plants which looked very similar to the cattails that Brown had seen back in the wetlands of America. He also carried a couple of chestnuts in his pockets.
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A chef like Hakim could separate the rest of the forest from the trees. He had just stumbled upon a small lake formed from the constant rain, where these cattail-like plants had grown.
“Is that food that’s not slime?” Ayomide was the one who was intrigued the greatest by the introduction of these new plants.
“Yes, it is. These are ‘shepherd reeds’, that’s what they were called in my hometown.” Hakim peeled the rind off of two of the plants and handed them over to Brown and Ayomide. “Try them out, you can eat them raw.” He then peeled himself a shepherd reed to eat with the others. The white core of the plant tasted similar to asparagus. Eating it raw definitely wasn’t the tastiest thing, but it tasted like the clouds of Heaven to Ayomide who had only consumed slime for almost an entire season.
“And we can… Actually, I’ll leave what I can do with the rest as a surprise for later.” Hakim looked full of excitement as he examined the reeds he had harvested. “These are the best during late spring, we arrived at the perfect time.” He’d definitely be back in the forest for another harvest.
“Actually, couldn’t we just use these plants as straw?” said Ayomide upon examining the reeds. "Get rid of the heads, and we can easily lie on them I’d think."
“I reckon. The straw from these plants were also made into hats and other stuff back in my hometown. I don’t know how they did it, I was young when I got separated.” Hakim secured his bundle of shepherd reeds with his hands, and looked at Brown and Ayomide. “So, you found good sticks?”
Brown nodded. “I think these should be enough. Let’s go back then.” He and Ayomide were carrying a bundle of wood in their hands. Brown was also carrying, in his pockets and a knapsack that had been taken from Jacob, small stones he had found along the road. “Ayomide?”
“R-Right. Let’s go.” Ayomide turned back to face the path to the cave, and the others followed.
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While Brown and co were busy with reeds and wood, Shinasi and Tater were exploring the mountain path.
Captain Brown and Shinasi had only headed the path between Curry toward Azdavay, he hadn’t had the chance to go up the Curry path it to see what lay there. So, they had decided that they’d first survey their immediate area first, before beginning their journey to survey the faraway plantations.
The mountains were largely peaceful, like any area near human habitation. The residents of Azdavay had long cleared anything scary like dragons or wyverns. All that was left were man-bears, man-wolves (not to be confused with werewolves) and generic slimes, who Shinasi could take on his own with his spear and pavise. Young Tater only had a combat knife to his name, he hoped that he would soon get a new weapon for himself when the team back at the cave got to crafting them.
“’Tis cold, isn’t it, mister?” Tater, and the rest of the former slaves, only had rags to their name. Thankfully, Brown had let Tater borrow his coat for this expedition.
“Mm. Totally… Yeah.” Shinasi seemed to be more focused on staring at the sky and contemplating idly, which was unusual for a former adventurer like him.
Thinking was not for adventurers, or so thought Tater who had only heard of adventurers through random tidbits. “What got you think so hard?”
“It’s adult business, my boy.”
“Adult business?” Tater quickly went through his mental list of what constituted as ‘adult business’. “Booze?”
“No- I mean, yeah… lack of drink is a problem. Right now, it’s not that.” Shinasi hadn’t had anything to drink since he had escaped Azdavay.
“Uhm… crippling debt?”
“That was a problem. However, I have the slightest hunch that the debt collectors might not want to visit a cave full of fugitive slaves.”
“Then… love?” This was his last. Tater had exhausted his list of ‘adult business’ that didn’t involve his juvenile ideas about acts of interhuman copulation.
Shinasi instinctively turned his head away from Tater to avoid his gaze. “Y-yeah, it’s totally not that either. Nuh-uh.”
Shinasi’s love life had caught the interest of Tater. Such topics seemed like they were of utmost importance for a young boy like him. “Mister, who’s the special one?” He poked Shinasi mischievously, hoping to drag out an answer.
“Oh, shut up.” Shinasi continued avoiding the relentless psychological attacks from Tater as the duo marched on the road. They hadn’t seen anything interesting, until they came upon a small village, actually a large estate housing an open mining field, in the mountains.
“I think this is one of the copper mining villages.” commented Shinasi. “Plenty of copper up in these mountains.” The Curry Mountain was famous in Gemeinplatz for its bountiful veins of copper, and the towns in Casamonu were famous for manufacturing goods from this copper.
“So, this where they got the stuff they make our pots out of.” Tater’s eyes were fixed on a line of slaves carrying pickaxes who were coming out of a wooden shack next to the mine. They were flanked by two overseers holding whips and carrying swords.
It wasn’t a plantation, but these mines did fill the critical criteria of ‘having lots of slaves’ “We found the kind of thing the old man’s looking for.”
“Think we did. Let’s give them a greeting, shall we?”
“Right.” Shinasi and Tater kept marching on, until they were in range to speak with the overseers. “Top of the morning to you, gentlemen.”
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The trio of Brown, Ayomide and Hakim had returned back to the cave. They quickly got to work, each of them holding a kitchen knife (courtesy of the late Jacob) and the items that they had foraged.
Brown and Ayomide were doing their best to carve shafts out of the sticks, which was a painful process as they both weren’t experienced with carving of any kind. Meanwhile, Hakim was preparing the shepherd reeds for culinary use by peeling the rinds and cutting them off from the strawy bits. He wasn’t doing this just to make food; the straw would be useful as rope for the makeshift weaponry.
After an hour or two, Brown and Ayomide had constructed shafts of acceptable quality. Now came the experimental part. Brown had been carrying large stones he had foraged during their travels. Both of them also had cut small pieces of wood, around ten inches (30 cm) long, to use as a hammer for shaping the stones.
This wasn’t an exact science; this was just what the people in the cave had come up with after a long brainstorming session.
They spent some time, knapping the stones, trying to find out which were hard and which were soft. Eventually, after another ten minutes of experimentation, Brown and Ayomide had a good idea as to the characteristics of the stones they had. Then they began knapping the stones, slowly carving a vaguely spear-like shape. After enough knapping, they used the small wood hammers to carve smaller, more intricate chips off the stone. To finish it all off, they scraped these spearheads to the floors of the cave to polish them the best as they could.
Now the only thing left was to put up the finishing touches. They took the straw that Hakim had prepared in the meanwhile, and they attempted to use the straw to bind the spearheads with the wooden shaft. The first one to do this successfully was Ayomide, who now had a complete spear. Then followed Brown in success, who happily looked upon the fruits of their labor.
Today, on the 74th of Spring 5859, John Brown and Ayomide entered the Stone Age.
“You know, I bet I can make an axe or something with this.” Ayomide seemed to be enjoying knapping. She put her newly spear aside to tinker with stone.
Brown, who was now a couple days off of being exactly sixty years old at this point, couldn’t stand long sessions of sitting down and working. He stood up, to take a break, and to observe what Hakim was up to.
Hakim had been occupied with further processing the shepherd reeds. His job hadn’t been done when he had peeled the rinds off the cores, he intended to use every part of the plant. He was grinding the starchy roots of the plant with a large rock, which produced flour. This grinding process was largely done by the time Brown had come to the scene.
“Ah, captain. Could you hand me one of your spears?”
Brown didn’t know why Hakim needed a spear for cooking, but he obliged and handed the man one of the newly crafted spears. Hakim proceeded to dump the flour he had made into a pot filled with a thin layer of slime and plants unknown to Brown. To Brown’s surprise, Hakim began violently beating the mixture in the pot with the shaft of the spear. The mixture eventually coalesced into a solid lump with a consistency similar to soft rice cake.
“Sorry for dirtying your shaft, captain.” Hakim gave back the slime-stained shaft to Brown. “These ‘spear cakes’ could be useful as provisions. They won’t rot easily, and their taste is better than pure slime slop.” He picked a lump for himself, and handed Brown another.
“Thank our Heavenly Father for providing us with this meal.” Brown obliged by biting a lump out of this strange spear cake. “Mmm… They have quite the minty taste.”
“It’s just a bit of this-and-that from the forest to get that mint taste. Even troops on the march could cook this without extra effort, I reckon. Living off the land, and all that.”
Ayomide was about to request some of the spear cake, before she was rudely interrupted by Shinasi and Tater entering the cave. “Captain, we have some good news.”
“Welcome back, young men. What’d your good news be?” Brown was ready for some good news, being stuck on a mountain did that to a man.
“You see, Tater and I found a copper mining village up on the road. It’s pretty close to where we are.” He pointed to the vague direction of the village. “Just up there. It’s lightly guarded, just some overseers for the slaves and nothing much more.”
Ayomide raised her brow. “Wait, weren’t we going for plantations?”
“It don’t matter, do it?” The one to reply was Tater. “There’re plenty of slaves, and plenty of loot up in copper land.”
“As the boy says. I of course don’t have a full account of what they have, but one’s gotta assume that they’d not have nothing. Not to mention, they hired me as a temporary guard after I told them that I was an adventurer. Apparently, they’re scared by the uprising in Azdavay.”
“Good thing we started on the spears then.” Brown looked at Ayomide. “We’ll have to work extra, young lady, to get arms for us and the slaves as soon as possible.”
Hakim interjected “And food as well, we need to have food for when they’re at our cave.”
“Then it seems we’re at a consensus.” Brown was excited to get back to doing what he did best. “Our first target for liberation shall be the copper mine!”