Woodcreek apartments cary nc
Thinking about selling my mtb hard tail. Worried I'll regret???
2023.06.04 21:53 throwRAbasilplant Thinking about selling my mtb hard tail. Worried I'll regret???
I really got into mtb'ing first. I biked all the time with friends when I lived in FL. I moved several years ago and slowly have turned into more of a gravel/road biker.
I live in NC so there is fantastic opportunity to mtb but I just haven't. One downside is some seasons it's just much harder to get out. Also the rain stays longer and shuts down trails all the time.
Back home in FL I could bike basically every day all year.
I only road my mtb maybe 2 times last year. It's $1k collecting dust. While I know if I really wanted to I'd get out way more, I just don't. Mtb is big where I live but I guess the convenience of road/gravel is winning out for me.
My gf sort of pushed back on the idea of selling. Since I would be happy to have it the few times I took it out. But even when I get the urge I'm so out of practice. Last year I whiped out hard with a buddy in Knoxville.
I think I may just sell it. I live in an apartment and have limited space. But I also know everything is just going up and if I decide later I want mtb I'll be shelling out more cash then before.
Truth is I'm focusing on gravel/road. Trying to work on my endurance and using a trainer on busy days.
Oblivious a stranger can't tell me what is right for me, but any feedback?
submitted by throwRAbasilplant to cycling [link] [comments]
I live in NC so there is fantastic opportunity to mtb but I just haven't. One downside is some seasons it's just much harder to get out. Also the rain stays longer and shuts down trails all the time.
Back home in FL I could bike basically every day all year.
I only road my mtb maybe 2 times last year. It's $1k collecting dust. While I know if I really wanted to I'd get out way more, I just don't. Mtb is big where I live but I guess the convenience of road/gravel is winning out for me.
My gf sort of pushed back on the idea of selling. Since I would be happy to have it the few times I took it out. But even when I get the urge I'm so out of practice. Last year I whiped out hard with a buddy in Knoxville.
I think I may just sell it. I live in an apartment and have limited space. But I also know everything is just going up and if I decide later I want mtb I'll be shelling out more cash then before.
Truth is I'm focusing on gravel/road. Trying to work on my endurance and using a trainer on busy days.
Oblivious a stranger can't tell me what is right for me, but any feedback?
2023.06.04 20:23 Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I want to know if BPD ex is still in the city we lived in - as I want to move back there
Long story short, my nightmare BPD ex and I broke up properly in February - but the seeds were sown in December 2022.
I left the city we lived in together after we broke up, but I intended on going back once I had got my head together. I am now considering buying an apartment there in the coming months. My ex is not from my country and actually is illegally there now, as per her visa (not that she'll care).
I have several mutual friends who I could simply ask, if she's still there or not. I'd be a lot happier moving there again knowing she is no longer around. I know people will say "you shouldn't care" etc, but I'm afraid I do. So, with all due respect, if you're going to respond to this please try to avoid giving that advice!
Obviously, the concerns here are that a) reaching out to people who know her feels like I'm breaking NC. And b) I shouldn't allow this to stop me from doing stuff.
submitted by Argghhhhhhhhhhhhhh to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
I left the city we lived in together after we broke up, but I intended on going back once I had got my head together. I am now considering buying an apartment there in the coming months. My ex is not from my country and actually is illegally there now, as per her visa (not that she'll care).
I have several mutual friends who I could simply ask, if she's still there or not. I'd be a lot happier moving there again knowing she is no longer around. I know people will say "you shouldn't care" etc, but I'm afraid I do. So, with all due respect, if you're going to respond to this please try to avoid giving that advice!
Obviously, the concerns here are that a) reaching out to people who know her feels like I'm breaking NC. And b) I shouldn't allow this to stop me from doing stuff.
2023.06.04 19:51 EchoJobs Epic Games is hiring Senior Animation Engineer US Cary, NC [Unreal Python]
![Epic Games is hiring Senior Animation Engineer US Cary, NC [Unreal Python]](https://external-preview.redd.it/ul-1tSY8-Uo4dBnBjSvf-6N7JEfz3m7xqFso3cmYiL8.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=10af8c2e78ac838f2db6808ea866cb75559f0e26 "Epic Games is hiring Senior Animation Engineer US Cary, NC [Unreal Python]") | submitted by EchoJobs to joblead [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 19:38 Empty_Front_4652 discarded for the third time, and i didn’t beg. he sent me an apology then blocked/unfollowed me on social media but left my # unblocked when i didn’t reply the same day. why?
on and off for about a year with this person. each time it was a pretty brutal discard. i begged and got him to change his mind each time, but i am done now. after starting therapy i realized this time around that he has an underlying problem, and none of his behavior has anything to do with me. i don’t blame myself anymore. there were small glimpses of self awareness when he split on me twice but didn’t discard. but he was very against therapy. 3 weeks NC now and it still tears me apart most days.
here’s the apology that came after i asked for an explanation for the breakup. prior to this it was just him bringing up things that happened in the past, lots of deflection and arguing. like days worth, even hours before the apology (didn’t immediately go NC after the discard, the apology came ~4 days post breakup)
him: erase me from memory like you said you wanted
(said this after the first brutal discard 9 months ago, it was wrong to say and i apologized in the past. we got back together afterwards, things improved and we discussed moving in together but fell apart again because bpd)
me: if you want the amicable breakup you yourself also have to behave amicably. every time this happens i almost feel like you try your best consciously or subconsciously to burn it to the ground to rationalize your decision (then more about all of this being self sabotaging behavior, that i tried very hard but he refused to communicate wants/needs, that there’s a lot of baggage we both brought into this that needs to be addressed before a healthy relationship can be had, etc.)
him: after all the negative things said today I want to end on a positive note
you’re an incredible woman who’s passionate about her work and cares deeply. you’re smart, funny, attractive, independent, and a good cook; among many other things.
I promise that you’ll be okay. you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. you’re too strong of a woman and too smart to wonder “why you’re not good enough”. you have plenty to offer and your future is incredibly bright.
this is just the beginning and im grateful for the time we spent together. any hate you have towards me is not reciprocated and I want you to succeed as bad as I want myself to succeed
boss up and continue evolving into the beautiful woman you’re becoming. I’ve very proud of you for all that ive seen you accomplish. graduating, getting promoted, moving into your own place. it really is just the beginning.
the last thing I want to say is this: I’m genuinely and truly sorry for any pain ive ever caused you. you care very deeply and it’s apparent to me how hard your tried to make things work. seeing you cry and get upset should never be considered normal.
I will always have love and support for you. being mean or resentful towards you hold no place in my heart. I don’t want you to question yourself or to think this was easy. I struggled and cried in private. you were and always will be in my thoughts and dreams. I’m sorry that things devolved into this and we argued so much. it shouldn’t have been that way. I can’t forgive myself for what happened between us. I love you and will miss you dearly
i didn’t respond that night because i was out with friends and honestly in shock, didn’t know if i wanted to. he was being so nice & i realized i had settled for the bare minimum this whole time, i felt disgusted & sad that i finally felt validated by him in this context. everything before that apology had been framed to be my fault.
woke up to another text saying “smh” and boom, i am blocked on social media - not everywhere though, just the ones he knows i use often. he removed me on instagram as well. he’s done this with every breakup. my texts don’t go through, i’m trying to explain i was just in shock. i send him a long one back saying i love him care about him etc but need to let go of this completely if there’s any hope of it working out in the future (stupid as hell looking back, i know). eventually, it delivers.
i know i’ll never understand his behavior but i’m just really sad. i really loved him for him, saw past the mask and saw the scared neglected little boy that made him act the way he did sometimes.
do you think i’m being primed for a hoover given how he left my # unblocked? he has never apologized before during a discard or even after getting back together, granted i did ask for it but he repeatedly refused to give me one and fueled the fire until randomly sending the one above. should i block him back on all social media? i miss him like hell but i can’t stand to put myself through this again or hope he’ll change
submitted by Empty_Front_4652 to BPDlovedones [link] [comments]
here’s the apology that came after i asked for an explanation for the breakup. prior to this it was just him bringing up things that happened in the past, lots of deflection and arguing. like days worth, even hours before the apology (didn’t immediately go NC after the discard, the apology came ~4 days post breakup)
him: erase me from memory like you said you wanted
(said this after the first brutal discard 9 months ago, it was wrong to say and i apologized in the past. we got back together afterwards, things improved and we discussed moving in together but fell apart again because bpd)
me: if you want the amicable breakup you yourself also have to behave amicably. every time this happens i almost feel like you try your best consciously or subconsciously to burn it to the ground to rationalize your decision (then more about all of this being self sabotaging behavior, that i tried very hard but he refused to communicate wants/needs, that there’s a lot of baggage we both brought into this that needs to be addressed before a healthy relationship can be had, etc.)
him: after all the negative things said today I want to end on a positive note
you’re an incredible woman who’s passionate about her work and cares deeply. you’re smart, funny, attractive, independent, and a good cook; among many other things.
I promise that you’ll be okay. you’ve always been able to take care of yourself. you’re too strong of a woman and too smart to wonder “why you’re not good enough”. you have plenty to offer and your future is incredibly bright.
this is just the beginning and im grateful for the time we spent together. any hate you have towards me is not reciprocated and I want you to succeed as bad as I want myself to succeed
boss up and continue evolving into the beautiful woman you’re becoming. I’ve very proud of you for all that ive seen you accomplish. graduating, getting promoted, moving into your own place. it really is just the beginning.
the last thing I want to say is this: I’m genuinely and truly sorry for any pain ive ever caused you. you care very deeply and it’s apparent to me how hard your tried to make things work. seeing you cry and get upset should never be considered normal.
I will always have love and support for you. being mean or resentful towards you hold no place in my heart. I don’t want you to question yourself or to think this was easy. I struggled and cried in private. you were and always will be in my thoughts and dreams. I’m sorry that things devolved into this and we argued so much. it shouldn’t have been that way. I can’t forgive myself for what happened between us. I love you and will miss you dearly
i didn’t respond that night because i was out with friends and honestly in shock, didn’t know if i wanted to. he was being so nice & i realized i had settled for the bare minimum this whole time, i felt disgusted & sad that i finally felt validated by him in this context. everything before that apology had been framed to be my fault.
woke up to another text saying “smh” and boom, i am blocked on social media - not everywhere though, just the ones he knows i use often. he removed me on instagram as well. he’s done this with every breakup. my texts don’t go through, i’m trying to explain i was just in shock. i send him a long one back saying i love him care about him etc but need to let go of this completely if there’s any hope of it working out in the future (stupid as hell looking back, i know). eventually, it delivers.
i know i’ll never understand his behavior but i’m just really sad. i really loved him for him, saw past the mask and saw the scared neglected little boy that made him act the way he did sometimes.
do you think i’m being primed for a hoover given how he left my # unblocked? he has never apologized before during a discard or even after getting back together, granted i did ask for it but he repeatedly refused to give me one and fueled the fire until randomly sending the one above. should i block him back on all social media? i miss him like hell but i can’t stand to put myself through this again or hope he’ll change
2023.06.04 19:31 EchoJobs Oqton is hiring Site Reliability Engineer / SRE Cary, NC US [Python TypeScript Machine Learning Go Bash Kafka GCP Azure Docker JavaScript Elasticsearch AWS Terraform MongoDB Kubernetes Ruby]
![Oqton is hiring Site Reliability Engineer / SRE Cary, NC US [Python TypeScript Machine Learning Go Bash Kafka GCP Azure Docker JavaScript Elasticsearch AWS Terraform MongoDB Kubernetes Ruby]](https://external-preview.redd.it/QCvYpyl2BOavxbSVafh4CfAR32D-kKIZ0AY2jaaq-Ro.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=3a0e2228fd20e21408f3fac1fa5a736569d242fd "Oqton is hiring Site Reliability Engineer / SRE Cary, NC US [Python TypeScript Machine Learning Go Bash Kafka GCP Azure Docker JavaScript Elasticsearch AWS Terraform MongoDB Kubernetes Ruby]") | submitted by EchoJobs to rustjob [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 19:25 jonbri1985 Cary, NC
 | submitted by jonbri1985 to whatisthisspider [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 19:21 EchoJobs Epic Games is hiring Senior Animation Engineer US Cary, NC [Unreal Python]
| | submitted by EchoJobs to echojobs [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 18:24 Watchsparks25 Powdery Mildew on Rosemary Plant (More Info in Caption)
 | Hello! This is my first time growing rosemary, I am in NC. I have them in a terracotta pot (I live in an apartment) on my balcony that is south facing. I used half cactus soil and half standard potting soil, I also added orchid bark and perlite for drainage. I am only watering it every other week, not sure if that is too frequent? Any suggestions on how to treat this is appreciated and any tips on how to better keep this plant? submitted by Watchsparks25 to plantclinic [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 18:15 Savings-Ad-3340 Would it be crass to casually mention to my childhood friend I'd be open to rooming with him?
I [27M] have a childhood friend [31M] who is visiting from Miami FL here in the next couple of weeks. We've been friends since grade school and I've considered mentioning to him that I'd definitely be willing to move down to FL and we could be roommates (if possible, but totally ok if not).
We all grew up in the same hometown and my mom and his mom are close. He currently rents a "room" from my understanding, not an apartment. My line of work is somewhat niche, but I've found some good looking jobs the last I checked, so I'd definitely be open to it. We are both single, no kids, no gf's.
I don't know though... feels like it'd be insensitive to ask that though if I'm being honest. We haven't talked in about 15 years, although I don't feel our next meetup would be awkward in the slightest. We go way back.
Honestly, would it be weird to casually mention to my childhood friend that I'd be open to rooming with him down in FL? FL would be a huge jump as I live in NC.
submitted by Savings-Ad-3340 to Advice [link] [comments]
We all grew up in the same hometown and my mom and his mom are close. He currently rents a "room" from my understanding, not an apartment. My line of work is somewhat niche, but I've found some good looking jobs the last I checked, so I'd definitely be open to it. We are both single, no kids, no gf's.
I don't know though... feels like it'd be insensitive to ask that though if I'm being honest. We haven't talked in about 15 years, although I don't feel our next meetup would be awkward in the slightest. We go way back.
Honestly, would it be weird to casually mention to my childhood friend that I'd be open to rooming with him down in FL? FL would be a huge jump as I live in NC.
2023.06.04 17:40 EchoJobs Epic Games is hiring Senior Animation Engineer US Cary, NC [Unreal Python]
| | submitted by EchoJobs to CodingJobs [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 15:50 Crissycrossycross Help. I feel like life would be so empty without them.
If I go nc I wouldn’t have anyone to live with. I’d be alone. I don’t wanna live alone. I wish I didn’t think that way but I’d rather stay and be abused rather than live in loneliness and isolation. Recently, a family member was discovered dead 3 days later in his apartment. He wasn’t even too old. He was in his 50’s. The idea of living alone scares me.
I don’t wanna get married or have kids. Am I just destined to have a lonely life or be abused?
submitted by Crissycrossycross to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
I don’t wanna get married or have kids. Am I just destined to have a lonely life or be abused?
2023.06.04 14:50 sbsmithjax Photos Mobile impossible problem! Synology iOS photos mobile app will not backup RAW/dng files to my NAS
Greetings,
First, I'm a photographer, with iPhone 14 pro, shoot many proraw iPhone photos. My wife has the EXACT same setup. We both use the synology iOS app Photos Mobile.
Here phone photos backs-up to our synology NAS, including all DNG photos she takes. My phone app, when backing up using the Photos Mobile app, converts all of my images to jpg . Maddening!
I have searched hours and hours and made sure all of the setting are aligned:
Thanks,
Stephen Cary, NC USA
submitted by sbsmithjax to synology [link] [comments]
First, I'm a photographer, with iPhone 14 pro, shoot many proraw iPhone photos. My wife has the EXACT same setup. We both use the synology iOS app Photos Mobile.
Here phone photos backs-up to our synology NAS, including all DNG photos she takes. My phone app, when backing up using the Photos Mobile app, converts all of my images to jpg . Maddening!
I have searched hours and hours and made sure all of the setting are aligned:
- Transfer to PC/mac toggle = Keep Originals
- Optimize iPhone Storage = off (download and keep originals)
Thanks,
Stephen Cary, NC USA
2023.06.04 05:49 AltruisticCulture763 Solutions and help for the secret Devs Room. Explaining what I now know.
 | Properly 90% of the community has been in this but could never really understand the point of this room. Today I am going to help community move this mystery along and hopefully we call solve it together. So this will be your requirements that will make this quest alot easier. 20 technical ability 20 intelligence 20 strength. Will you probably need at least 3 play throughs. If I could start again so corpo run last. To start the quest your character need his scan done. So after you have collected the cyberware quick hacks. You will know which ones because they cost $300 to buy. You will need all 5 netrunners. They combine to make an ultimate quickhack. Now go to Kerry's mansion. Look into the mirror. Jonny should appear kiroshi his left eye scan it 3times at 4x. Now go to the jukebox that is broken use kiroshi use the picture #4 as the directions to scan the digital part of the jukebox. This is like a doctor's appointment. We are give the 4 requirements. If you did the pattern correctly it will automatically bring you to a phone call. Rogue is the person to call talk about Adam smasher. Then go smoke a cigarette and drink some whiskey. Then shower character should cough up blood. Then go to bed. If all those steps have been completed your are now registered. With yours and Jonny's. User numbers. User 1 and user 2. Now the dev quest begins. So this quest is not hard. But there is absolutely no data on it so I have figured this out on my own. So if I have missed something or overlooked something we as community can make sure it is put into the books. So I believe spoiler this quest is going to allow use to actually hack the space on our final quest. Not sure what happens to the space ship. Anyways let's start. What we are doing you ask we are becoming the best technologist cyberpunk has seen. This crazy so what that kiroshi now can do is build technology based items. We are going to be make servers rooms and running electrical and plumbing. It is get so hard that need more people doing this quest so I can ask for help. let's begin so we need parts alot of you probably already have a lot of these parts and just didn't know it. Pictures 6&7 you probably noticed these boxes outside or in front of your apartment or inside. Well these are the components you have collected and now can use. If you have a full workbench those are your tools. You can mode your cars so once you start understand what your looking for technology becomes easier but you will have take down enemies and put up you tech. Ok now you know that your a tech so what are we doing with this we are taking over the city. Build our business taking down fossil fuels we want solar and electric. Or Final Flight for the last mission Hense FF. so we need to take down the 5 business for our hero V to take over NC hense b5 . So Arasaka, Biotech, PetroChem, medtech, DTR. So this is where your second playthrough we be involved. So let's start by use our new tech ability. So we need green lights. Let's start with mega building 10 these are roots so your business also come from here . Let's start with hooking up electric to our apartment. Picture #9 use kiroshi you would use your kiroshi as if it were hand hook up wires. Tip:: if it brings you into a call that is test to connect but you can not connect if you have cameras watching you. So you will even be able to have techs work for you. By using kiroshi scan them they will work on projects for you. You can change the lights in your apartment to different colors. But remember certain tech ability calls for different tools..like gas and plumbing. So when you start your new story remember you need everything breachs code matrix and everything put the other companies out of work. Your brand well I guess maybe you can chose one but I chose magami market so these are the business you will need to hook up electric plumbing and towers. Bring down other markets power grids. Your new play through watch for breaches and generates gas lines servers. All your information goes carry over to new story lines so always are working on the devs quest. Picture #12&13 so you might have also noticed other shops around your building those are part of your market and will grow too . You need to pick everything you see clothes records ash trays.. so when you see those stand with the devs screen that is your code matrix. We are trying to spread it everywhere so your kiroshi to scan to screens at the stands like acknowledgment that you have been there at certain points they might need something extra. Photo #14 is competition we don't want put there power out. Now hopefully people understand what to look for if anyone has more questions I will be happy to answer what I can. Watch for clues when doing missions and NCPD remember petroChem is bad news I just was able to crack there nuclear power now arroyo is in now have chemical issues. So Corps and Gangs work together lots of people know but as you progress and read your shards look for hints maybe they mention a build and a person go check it out. If you know what it is . Arasaka works maelstrom. 6th Street works militech. Wreaths work with Biotech Velintinos work with Medtech. and everyone works with PetroChem they are our biggest concern to bring down. So when doing your new mission you want to help River because he has the trailer court which is great for our dev mission you want to help Judy because of the Mox have the BD set up. You want Autowerks for our new tech rides. Vic is our doc so always gets his place hooked up. I just got a epic kiroshi from him for $3.000. Now you can hook all that equipment that you thought was useless cause I did for a long time. Well Choom good luck any questions message me . I can try and help with anything. submitted by AltruisticCulture763 to cyberpunkgame [link] [comments] |
2023.06.04 03:35 AbedIsBatmanNow_ (NC) Renting without income but plenty of savings?
I'll try to keep this brief on backstory. I currently own (outright) my home in Florida but for many reasons I'm looking to get out of the state and really do not want the stress of maintaining and owning a house anymore. I would like to take up to 2 years and work on myself while plotting a new career path which would mean no active income. I am currently zeroed in mostly on the Cary/Raleigh area in NC.
I'm just curious what type of uphill battle I might be facing trying to get a decent place with good (700+) credit and just verified statements proving savings in what would be an account strictly setup for paying out rent for those two years. I've looked into it a bit but a lot of info is from multiple years ago when the rental market seems to have been in a much less "hostile" place. Any info, advice or just general thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!
submitted by AbedIsBatmanNow_ to Renters [link] [comments]
I'm just curious what type of uphill battle I might be facing trying to get a decent place with good (700+) credit and just verified statements proving savings in what would be an account strictly setup for paying out rent for those two years. I've looked into it a bit but a lot of info is from multiple years ago when the rental market seems to have been in a much less "hostile" place. Any info, advice or just general thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!
2023.06.04 01:52 boredeau My own apartment no longer feels safe after nmom visit, advice?
Against my own intuition, and regrettably, I allowed my nmom to come visit me (scapegoat, 27f) from across the country for my law school graduation. We had been relatively LC beforehand, with me only coming home for holidays. She stayed on my couch for one night and at an airbnb for the rest of the weeklong visit, but we spent a lot of time in my apartment while she was here. I have a very very small studio. Simply being around her was way more triggering than I anticipated. I think she has figured out that I've "caught on" to her narc bullshit, and is pulling out all the tricks to try to hoover me. Due to her behavior while she was here (getting wasted every night, trying to manipulate me with fake crying, trying to start political arguments, etc.) I had to block her phone number after she left. It can't quite be permanent NC yet because I am moving back to my home state in a few months and will need to get my things from her house, and possibly need to stay there temporarily until I find an apartment.
I thought no contact would bring relief, but my anxiety is still almost as bad as when she was here 2 weeks ago. I can't shake the thoughts that she placed hidden cameras or microphones somewhere (I have caught her reading my private journals, and she secretly read my private twitter account for like 8 years). I don't think she actually hid cameras, but it's still in the back of my mind. I realized I feel pretty okay while spending time elsewhere, and then feel total dread when I come back home. Just being in my apartment feels like 9/10 anxiety. I would appreciate any advice on how to feel safe at home again instead of being in complete fight or flight mode in what should be my happy place. Thanks in advance.
submitted by boredeau to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
I thought no contact would bring relief, but my anxiety is still almost as bad as when she was here 2 weeks ago. I can't shake the thoughts that she placed hidden cameras or microphones somewhere (I have caught her reading my private journals, and she secretly read my private twitter account for like 8 years). I don't think she actually hid cameras, but it's still in the back of my mind. I realized I feel pretty okay while spending time elsewhere, and then feel total dread when I come back home. Just being in my apartment feels like 9/10 anxiety. I would appreciate any advice on how to feel safe at home again instead of being in complete fight or flight mode in what should be my happy place. Thanks in advance.
2023.06.03 22:44 Shady_Prospector Dual Purpose Post
So this post is going to be a little bit cathartic and a little bit looking for advice...
Had an AP a few years ago. Started out pre-pandemic with that awesome NRE. Lots of chatting, flirting, and because she lived nearby, a healthy amount of in person meets. Those were augmented with a few day trips and happy hours. All was well and I felt happy and fulfilled.
Then pandemic. We both locked down with our families. Maintained communication, but cut off meets. Seemed to be weathering the storm fairly well. As things slowly opened up, we didn't really return to normal. She was reluctant, communications became a little strained, she switched jobs and the term "insanely busy" entered our lexicon. A term that, even now, drives me nuts... Eventually she broke it off. Claimed that she felt like she couldn't give me what I was looking for anymore and that, in fact, things were very good at home and she no longer really needed an affair. That last part stung, but I accepted it. I'm not one to keep doors open. Went full NC and tried to start the healing process.
Fast forward a few years and I've tried to find a new AP. Haven't really had much success. I catch myself thinking of her too much and feeling like I never really got closure. After a recent pAP fell apart, I - in a moment of weakness - messaged her...not at all expecting to hear from her. I wanted to believe that things really were good for her at home and she wasn't using that account. However, a week later, I got a very surprised response. She had wanted to surprise her son with an anonymous message and opened that account for the first time in a long while - and saw my message. We caught up, reminisced, and cleared a little of the air. She claims, in fact, that things were mostly the same at home as ever, and that she had broken up with me due to just feeling overwhelmed, "insanely busy", and unable to really juggle it all. We actually found time to meet in person and chat more. Not quite old times but nice.
Later that evening we messaged more and decided to proceed with caution. She told me she is more "insanely busy" than ever, but if I could manage expectations a bit, she would like to keep seeing where this is headed. She was concerned though about disappointing me if she could not be as engaged as I would like.
So here we are, not a week later, and I fear her reservations were correct. The first week has been a few sporadic messages (almost all starting with "I'm sorry, been insanely busy") and a few days of NC. I know she warned of this, but it hurts to accept that this probably won't work...again.
What I'm wondering is do I take the opportunity to express some things I never had the chance to do before, get a little closure, and end it? I've always felt the "insanely busy" bit was a little exaggerated and was more reflective of some narcissistic tendencies she's had towards me in the past. Do I go full NC again? Or should I try to be the bigger person, acknowledge this isn't what I want, but try to remain friends?
Help with what I probably already know what I should do....
submitted by Shady_Prospector to adultery [link] [comments]
Had an AP a few years ago. Started out pre-pandemic with that awesome NRE. Lots of chatting, flirting, and because she lived nearby, a healthy amount of in person meets. Those were augmented with a few day trips and happy hours. All was well and I felt happy and fulfilled.
Then pandemic. We both locked down with our families. Maintained communication, but cut off meets. Seemed to be weathering the storm fairly well. As things slowly opened up, we didn't really return to normal. She was reluctant, communications became a little strained, she switched jobs and the term "insanely busy" entered our lexicon. A term that, even now, drives me nuts... Eventually she broke it off. Claimed that she felt like she couldn't give me what I was looking for anymore and that, in fact, things were very good at home and she no longer really needed an affair. That last part stung, but I accepted it. I'm not one to keep doors open. Went full NC and tried to start the healing process.
Fast forward a few years and I've tried to find a new AP. Haven't really had much success. I catch myself thinking of her too much and feeling like I never really got closure. After a recent pAP fell apart, I - in a moment of weakness - messaged her...not at all expecting to hear from her. I wanted to believe that things really were good for her at home and she wasn't using that account. However, a week later, I got a very surprised response. She had wanted to surprise her son with an anonymous message and opened that account for the first time in a long while - and saw my message. We caught up, reminisced, and cleared a little of the air. She claims, in fact, that things were mostly the same at home as ever, and that she had broken up with me due to just feeling overwhelmed, "insanely busy", and unable to really juggle it all. We actually found time to meet in person and chat more. Not quite old times but nice.
Later that evening we messaged more and decided to proceed with caution. She told me she is more "insanely busy" than ever, but if I could manage expectations a bit, she would like to keep seeing where this is headed. She was concerned though about disappointing me if she could not be as engaged as I would like.
So here we are, not a week later, and I fear her reservations were correct. The first week has been a few sporadic messages (almost all starting with "I'm sorry, been insanely busy") and a few days of NC. I know she warned of this, but it hurts to accept that this probably won't work...again.
What I'm wondering is do I take the opportunity to express some things I never had the chance to do before, get a little closure, and end it? I've always felt the "insanely busy" bit was a little exaggerated and was more reflective of some narcissistic tendencies she's had towards me in the past. Do I go full NC again? Or should I try to be the bigger person, acknowledge this isn't what I want, but try to remain friends?
Help with what I probably already know what I should do....
2023.06.03 22:41 Cape-Happenings Pressure Washing in Arden, NC - Triple Wide Pressure Washing and Roof Cleaning
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2023.06.03 19:09 AverageUseful3353 Cases of water
i hate people that just use instacart bc they are too lazy to cary 4 cases of water up to the 4th floor of an apartment like common, especially because they never tip.
submitted by AverageUseful3353 to instacart [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 17:48 Katie_lego Update: My(27F-Bi) girlfriend(29F-L)of three years may have cheated on me.
Cheating story
So I finally agreed to talk with Lisa about what happened. She went back to the guy we had a threesome with and hooked up with him because she wanted to experience sex with a guy while sober. She confessed she was surprised at how different it felt and revealed she came both times, which shocked her. To top it all off, the second time was with no protection. She still claims she is not attracted to men at all and still wants to only be with me.
Yesterday I had some friends help me move most of my stuff to a storage unit and I moved in temporarily with a couple of friends until I can find a new place to live. I also went back to the dog park and ran into Mike, we had dinner and I ended up staying the night. It was an ONS but he asked to maybe be FWB and see if anything else developed. He's cute, sweet, and makes me laugh and after my hurt heals I may explore that more.
After thinking about it, I told Lisa I needed some time apart. The marriage is off the table, obviously, and we are going to NC for a week and then we can talk again to see where we are at. With our past feelings for each other, I doubt we can get back to a friendzone. Maybe FWB could be possible but I don't think I could ever give her full access to my heart like before. No matter how things work out between Lisa and me, going forward I will embrace both aspects of my sexuality.
submitted by Katie_lego to nonmonogamy [link] [comments]
So I finally agreed to talk with Lisa about what happened. She went back to the guy we had a threesome with and hooked up with him because she wanted to experience sex with a guy while sober. She confessed she was surprised at how different it felt and revealed she came both times, which shocked her. To top it all off, the second time was with no protection. She still claims she is not attracted to men at all and still wants to only be with me.
Yesterday I had some friends help me move most of my stuff to a storage unit and I moved in temporarily with a couple of friends until I can find a new place to live. I also went back to the dog park and ran into Mike, we had dinner and I ended up staying the night. It was an ONS but he asked to maybe be FWB and see if anything else developed. He's cute, sweet, and makes me laugh and after my hurt heals I may explore that more.
After thinking about it, I told Lisa I needed some time apart. The marriage is off the table, obviously, and we are going to NC for a week and then we can talk again to see where we are at. With our past feelings for each other, I doubt we can get back to a friendzone. Maybe FWB could be possible but I don't think I could ever give her full access to my heart like before. No matter how things work out between Lisa and me, going forward I will embrace both aspects of my sexuality.
2023.06.03 14:57 confusingbuttons Do I stay with parents to save more? and 401k questions
I am in my 30s and have one child, a toddler who is in daycare. I make 60k a year and my wife makes 35k. Daycare is 1700 a month and is my major expense. I have 7k total debt, and my wife has student loan payments that are 500 monthly. Following my pregnancy I was very sick, and came to live with my parents for extra help. Originally I was going to stay only long enough to get back on my feet, but now my parents are floating the idea of me staying longer. We pay my parents 500 in rent monthly, as well as utilities. Closest metro area is Boston, and housing costs are insane. A two bedroom apartment in a bad part of town is 2600, and our combined family income is only 5k after taxes and deductions.
A few things I’m pondering:
Should I take my parents up on their offer for us to stay longer to save more? Staying at their place would also give us access to the local job market, which pays quite well, without having to pay the high housing costs.
If I do the above, should I increase my 401k contributions? Currently I’m contributing 15% with a 3% employer match. I think I could afford to bump that up another 10% once I pay off my credit card debt.
Or- would it be better to pay down my debt and then help my wife pay down her student loans. Total owed is 100k (she got a masters). I could also wait until she gets a better paying job, and encourage her to pay her debt off faster while I cover more of her living expenses.
The one thing we will not consider: moving. We have agonized about this, but we are lesbians and my wife is trans. Places we were considering moving a couple years ago (NC, PA, VA) are suddenly seeing more anti-LGBT political activity, and with what’s going on in the rest of the USA we are scared and want to stay somewhere solidly blue where we have a local support network. Also my parent’s health is declining and I want to be close enough to help them.
Any suggestions would be welcome, thanks!
submitted by confusingbuttons to personalfinance [link] [comments]
A few things I’m pondering:
Should I take my parents up on their offer for us to stay longer to save more? Staying at their place would also give us access to the local job market, which pays quite well, without having to pay the high housing costs.
If I do the above, should I increase my 401k contributions? Currently I’m contributing 15% with a 3% employer match. I think I could afford to bump that up another 10% once I pay off my credit card debt.
Or- would it be better to pay down my debt and then help my wife pay down her student loans. Total owed is 100k (she got a masters). I could also wait until she gets a better paying job, and encourage her to pay her debt off faster while I cover more of her living expenses.
The one thing we will not consider: moving. We have agonized about this, but we are lesbians and my wife is trans. Places we were considering moving a couple years ago (NC, PA, VA) are suddenly seeing more anti-LGBT political activity, and with what’s going on in the rest of the USA we are scared and want to stay somewhere solidly blue where we have a local support network. Also my parent’s health is declining and I want to be close enough to help them.
Any suggestions would be welcome, thanks!
2023.06.03 09:36 pineapple_juice234 Are they ever genuine?
So, my mom has a lot of traits of covert narcissism and traumatised me and my brother to the point he was diagnosed with BPD and I'm with a depressive disorder. Shit went down about 2/3 years ago and our family fell apart. My brother was often emotionally hostile towards my mom, because of her toxic behavior, and she would then give him the silent treatment, guilt trip him and be hella passive agressive after those emotional outbursts, doesn't matter how many times he apologised or cried his eyes out over it. She left our family to live in a trailer, divorced my dad and me brother went NC with her(I believe she is literally scared of him because he screamed the truth in her face). Ever since she has been "too" nice to me. She buys me presents a lot. She also used to do that right before she left our family. She would buy me something and have this sneaky grin on her face while saying "Your mum sure is good for you, huh?". It gave me serious icks. She and I used to fight a lot and she always pulled the victim card. Whenever I did something she didn't like she made sure of it that I felt her resentment towards me. Always complaining, looking angry at me, being super passive agressive, refusing help to later just complain about us and how we make her life miserable. But over the past 2 years since she left, she has been acting like this innocent mother being super sweet to her daughter. Texting me multiple times a day (I live with my dad), buying me stuff at least once a month, complimenting me and saying how great I am and whatnot. I don't know whether this is genuine or that she just needs me as this validation object for her role as "good mother". Or does she want me to realise she is better than my dad so I will decide to live with her(I'm 19)? Maybe some of you see similarities in your own story and can maybe give me some insight on her behavior. Thanks a lot for reading :)
submitted by pineapple_juice234 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2023.06.03 04:50 flutterbizzle Five years of silence broken… where do I start?
We have been NC with my in-laws for 5 years, since right before my twin daughters were born. A LOT of backstory to get through so cliffsnotes: my husband is the scape goat, they never liked me because I come from money and helped their son turn into an amazing human where their narcissistic parenting style failed, and they disowned my DH before the twins were born.
Today’s issue is my JNMIL texted me today out of the blue. First I was extremely confused because she was blocked. Then I remembered we switched carriers and discovered your blocked numbers don’t transfer. Second was the content of the message. Her message was “Hi OP, sorry if this bothers you. I understand DD1 is having some developmental issues. There is a place in Colorado specializing in neurofeedback that has success in treating this. Look up neurofeedback on the net. I no longer have the number. Hope it helps.”
I have no idea where to go from here. We tracked down the source of the leak where this text could have come from. But the important thing here is that my daughter DOES NOT have “developmental issues” she has a speech impediment and she’s a little more to handle than some five year olds. We had an issue with their last daycare trying to say that DD1 was autistic and uncontrollable, turns out they just suck at their jobs because our pediatrician almost laughed in our faces after doing a brief exam. She is not autistic. Apparently the story was told at some point (the daycare incident was almost 2 years ago) and since JNMIL’s world is about to fall apart she is grasping at straws.
Her mother is dying, has been for the entire time I’ve known her, but this time we think it’s imminent. My JustMaybeBIL called his mom and asked her what the hell, and that’s how we found out about grandma. We haven’t talked to GMIL in 5 years either and she’s never met the kids. So here’s where the advice comes in: DH wants to go to the funeral for personal closure and because he feels that he has too. He knows that most of this sub will tell him not to go, and he has thought about not going. He just feels he HAS to do it. So, do we take this terrible opening to form a gentle peace so the funeral goes smoothly? And if so, how? How do you come back at that opener with anything other than “WTF?” That won’t give us a good starting position.
And no, the kids and I are not going to the funeral if my DH does. If my in laws ever meet my children, it will not be at a funeral.
submitted by flutterbizzle to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
Today’s issue is my JNMIL texted me today out of the blue. First I was extremely confused because she was blocked. Then I remembered we switched carriers and discovered your blocked numbers don’t transfer. Second was the content of the message. Her message was “Hi OP, sorry if this bothers you. I understand DD1 is having some developmental issues. There is a place in Colorado specializing in neurofeedback that has success in treating this. Look up neurofeedback on the net. I no longer have the number. Hope it helps.”
I have no idea where to go from here. We tracked down the source of the leak where this text could have come from. But the important thing here is that my daughter DOES NOT have “developmental issues” she has a speech impediment and she’s a little more to handle than some five year olds. We had an issue with their last daycare trying to say that DD1 was autistic and uncontrollable, turns out they just suck at their jobs because our pediatrician almost laughed in our faces after doing a brief exam. She is not autistic. Apparently the story was told at some point (the daycare incident was almost 2 years ago) and since JNMIL’s world is about to fall apart she is grasping at straws.
Her mother is dying, has been for the entire time I’ve known her, but this time we think it’s imminent. My JustMaybeBIL called his mom and asked her what the hell, and that’s how we found out about grandma. We haven’t talked to GMIL in 5 years either and she’s never met the kids. So here’s where the advice comes in: DH wants to go to the funeral for personal closure and because he feels that he has too. He knows that most of this sub will tell him not to go, and he has thought about not going. He just feels he HAS to do it. So, do we take this terrible opening to form a gentle peace so the funeral goes smoothly? And if so, how? How do you come back at that opener with anything other than “WTF?” That won’t give us a good starting position.
And no, the kids and I are not going to the funeral if my DH does. If my in laws ever meet my children, it will not be at a funeral.