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2015.07.06 01:20 squidboots we diagnose your sick plants!

If you're wondering "what's wrong with my plant?", we will help you diagnose and treat it!

2016.10.16 16:28 Vintner42 Vintner Writes Stuff

Stories I have written and submitted to /WritingPrompts.

2010.10.24 20:37 jwegan Subreddit for Shiba Inu dogs

Subreddit for Shiba Inu dogs. Post your pictures, videos, questions, etc.

2023.06.04 23:41 Crashmittensickle Can this mean I am or am not trans?

As AMAB, before questioning I have always seen myself as a male and looked up to men. I have wanted to be a man. I remember having playful argument with my brother about who's a boy and who's a girl and we both always wanted to be a guy. Thought some years later I kinda remember 'settling' for being a girl - but perhaps it actually didn't feel so bad after all.
I liked to look myself after gym when I still was into working out. I didn't have shame about myself (yes I know about butch lesbians and more masculine women). I remember liking the feeling of being strong and powerful man, I liked myself like that.
Now I feel like I've "failed as a man". I no longer work out and have no will to do anything
But what is because of my internalized misogyny I think that "I'll settle for being a woman since I cannot be a real man"? I have no clue. Need to talk to a therapist, but IT'D BE HORRIFYING TO TALK ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF FACE TO FACE WITH SOMEONE!
I have always made friends with boys much easier. It has always been easier to talk to them. Girls seemed very distant to me in my childhood, and I had only boys as friends (excluding a few exceptions).
I never understood women, either. They are still quite a mystery to me. I had some chats with girls in my teens and remember being very confused on what to do etc. Thought I have ADHD and many autistic traits so perhaps it could explain some of my social problems.
I kinda wish I had a social life. I wish I had more friends, both guys and gals. I wish I was accepted in my teens, so that I'd get a better view of these genders. Perhaps I could've discovered more about my gender identity...
On the other hand, I have admired some women too in my teens. One I knew fairly well.
I have had this feeling that "If I cannot get a hot and lovely gf, I will become one myself". It seems as if I wanted to become something I cannot get so that I'd "get it by my rules". I also hate myself so I don't really feel that sorry for myself, only a little.
I always answered all polls as a male. I never doubted it a second. It was automatic for me to choose "I am male"-answer. Still, lately I've kinda had mixed feelings about it, but have still went by "male". I also remember creating some accounts and assigning my gender as "I prefer not to say" on those accounts. I always told myself that "It's to confuse people and to protect my identity and privacy", but I have also been thinking if that wa sjust a conscious excuse.
I have wanted to hug my friend, but felt like it was inappropriate bc we are both guys. I have done it earlier to someone else and it was very awkward.
I have always been a "pig" with bad habits - swearing, eating loudly, farting and burping near others on some occasions etc. I have always thought it as cool and manly.
I have had the need to be a "tough guy" who doesn't give a fuck. I have expressed my opinions and words like that. I have very often put up a show to act more masculine.
In reality I am emotional and enjoy deep talks and bonding. I ABSOLUTELY HATE the aggression that's associated with sports and other "male activities". I hate the aggressiviness of men in general. It makes me feel weak, vulnerable. Perhaps it's bc of my low self-esteen and shortness.
This post isn't even about the topic anymore, it's just venting rn and some trans stuff. I am just so goddamn confused. Been questioning for over 6 weeks now. Have tried many feminine things. Some are fine, some are not. I asked my mom to do my makeup (I didn't dare to leave their home). I felt awkward abt it but then decides to proceed. She did it and it was ok. I was able to be around her with makeup on. I was also able to do it with my dad and brother around.
I suddenly feel like I should cover my chest, while part of me tells I shouldn't. I just took a shower and felt like walking out with towel on my chest would be awkward as I had to pass my dad. But I also felt like I had to cover my chest. Well, eventually I left without covering my chest but turned my body so that my chest wasn't visible. I've tried to hide my chest most of the time after starting to question.
I think it's sweet how women take care of their children. I will always be happy that my mom taught me how to calm and help someone in a moment of distress. She is caring and kind, she has a good heart. I will always love her, and her way to love others, how she taught me on how to do it properly.
I am full of anger and grief. I just want peace. I want to be calm. I want to be caring. I want to prove myself that I can do it too.
Suddenly I hate my tiny beard, and wanna shave it all the time, like it actually gave me dysphoria. I have liked it earlier, wanted to grow it more. I liked playing around with my beard. Now I hate the idea of having it bc it feels too masculine.
I have also always had to look angry to appear more masculine. I have done it so many times. But looking myself in the mirror, making a cute face, I actually feel good. Perhaps it's some sort of euphoria.
Growing out hair feels nice. I like the feeling of hair on my upper back.
I have had tranformation-fantasies (sexual or not) for most of my life. I have always wanted to be something else, like a mythical creature or a cyber warrior etc. But it was always abt being a male one.
Yet as I ask myself if I wanna be a woman, I am like "Hell naw I wanna be a strong man and kick ass😎". Then I force myself to say that "No I wanna be a woman, I wanna be smol, I wanna be cuddled by a strong woman or man". Though there's also truth to it 😎.
I have also said terrible, sexist stuff about women with my guy friends - anything that you can suppose an incel would say - literally anything...
I hate being called a boy. But that's probably bc I wanna be seen as a man.
I guess I am a man. I will always be a man. Being a woman feels too odd and otherwordly, unknown.
Yet saying "I am a man" makes me feel how all of my thoughts abt being trans just shatter into tiny fragments. It feels like a small, caring and loving heart was shattered. With it I can hear sobbing and screams of pain and sorrow, like a creature was killed.
So it "being a man" to me only about being emotionless and strong, unwavering. I have always been the exact opposite. Perhaps this also makes me feel like "I have failed as a man".
But what if I am just trying to prove that I am not a man but a woman, while the truth is actually the opposite?
What if I wanna be a woman to just escape myself, my duties as a male?
I am so goddamn lost. Help me find the light, please...
If you read it all, thanks for that. Thanks for taking the time 🙂
submitted by Crashmittensickle to asktransgender [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 Probably_Venting Purchasing First Home for Parents

My (28M) parents are being displaced from their rental situation of 15+ years.
The cost of living in their area (CA) has become too expensive to have them rent in the same city they have been living in.
One option is moving them out about 45 minutes from their current living location and having me purchase a home that they will rent from me. Their jobs are in between their current home and the area I’m looking at. This would allow them to keep their current jobs.
I have a good paying job and have saved up more than enough for a down payment (20%) on a home in the $450k-$500k range. I’m in a relationship where I don’t anticipate to be settling down in any location in the next 2-3 years due to my partner being in academia.
I am curious if anyone can offer any advice on how I should go about it. I can technically move back home for 1 year and live in the home with them to get a better interest rate ~6.25% as a primary residence loan and then move back out with my partner into the rental situation I’m currently in. I believe this is the proper way to do this to avoid purchasing the home as an investment vehicle with a higher interest rate. I also don’t know how the rental income would technically affect me. I know individuals can gift $15,000 to someone every year. Would them gifting me what would otherwise be rent up to that limit be illegal? If not illegal, what would be the downside to this? Particularly thinking about when I do decide I want a home of my own with my partner, I think I’d want to show that I have income generating from my 1st mortgage.
Here’s the thing, I’ve run the numbers, and I know what amount my parents would be comfortable paying. The difference comes out to about $500/month. This includes property taxes and homeowners insurance at the current tax accessed value (at $475k). So I will have to spend ~$500 a month above what they could comfortably pay me in rent. They are currently working on paying off some debts that will free up about $800/month in about 3 years so I can revisit the rent amount paid to me then. They had a lot of debt and consolidated it for a better rate about 4 years ago, they were previously paying minimums on credit card debt with no end in sight. They’ve been great not getting into more debt and pay off all their debts every month now. I don’t view them as being risky with their money.
As far as investments go, I have about 90k in my 401k, I just about max out my 401k every year, so I could always scale this back if needed. Am I wrong to look at this as an asset that I’d be building equity in over the next 20-30 years, so the $500 additional I’m paying to cover the mortgage is just helping me store wealth? My parents are 57 and 53. I mainly want them to be able to retire near all of our family and not have to worry about being displaced again so I have no intentions of selling this anytime soon, especially since their parents are also getting older and they want to be around to help them.
I bring home just over 5k net a month and I would still have about $75k in savings after my down payment and closing costs on a property at $475k.
Here are my finances broken down and monthly budget:
Net Pay: $5,100.00 (Medical, 401k deductions already accounted for) Car Insurance: $260 Car Payment: $570 (2% interest rate, not worth paying off - will be paid off in 17 months, car is in exceptional condition) Rent: $500 (including utilities-living in very low cost area, would continue helping partner with my portions of expenses) Media Subscriptions: $100 Phone bill: $80 Groceries: $800 Vehicle Gas: $250 Travel: $500-$700 (budgeted for trips) Going Out/Splurge: $600-$800 (fluctuates $800 on conservative side, obviously understand I can cut this back and working on it)
One other thing is my role has an annual bonus (not included in my net monthly income). Historically the net amount has been between $15k-$25k. This will allow me to save for my next home with my partner. This isn’t guaranteed, but I have been with my company for several years and it has been paid every year I’ve been there. I work remotely, so it doesn’t matter where I work from.
Anyway I know this is a lot of info, so thank you for reading.
submitted by Probably_Venting to personalfinance [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 lalalalaheundeul Struggling

Hi, I want to start this off saying that english isn’t my first language, so I apologize for some mistakes. So recently I’ve been diagnosed with Agoraphobia. I’ve already been seeing a therapist for about 5/6 years cause of anxiety and depression, but about a year ago, I went to college. It was a bust because it was far from home, I’ve always been in schools close to home and never strayed away. So in the first two weeks of college I was awful, I had full blown panic attacks cause I was getting home later than I wanted because the bus was late and such things. I couldn’t handle it and I left college, after that it was months of just depression episodes. Couldn’t leave the bed, couldn’t eat, couldn’t look at my parents cause the pain of disappointing them was crushing me. They took to see my therapist regularly after that, I’m so grateful for them and couldn’t imagine a better support system. Anyways I’ve been making progress, my agoraphobia isn’t severe, if anything it’s mild. Recently I’ve been going to some classes to get used to a routine out of the house, it’s close to home so it’s not such a big adjustment. I’m doing this as practice since I’m planning on applying to college again this year, to colleges near home this time. But I admit, it’s rough, I’ve been trying to cope and my mom has been a huge help, my sisters helps me stay on my toes to not give up on myself so easily, but still it’s me going through this and I could use some help with ways to cope. Thank you so much for reading and hearing me out.
TLDR: been having some problems with getting my life back on track and could use some help with copeing mechanisms.
submitted by lalalalaheundeul to Agoraphobia [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 AdMental3475 Cat Pee

My cat Hazel, (4 YO, Female) has been peeing on our beds and blankets nonstop. She is spayed and has been doing this for a couple of years now. Sometimes very frequently and then she doesn't for a couple of weeks. But multiple times a month. There are times when she's been on a new blanket at least 7x in one week. We even put a new litter box in the room but she looks at it and doesn’t use it. I spray non-marking spray but it doesn’t work. I have tried UTI medicine, UTI food, more litter boxes, and covering the bed. My family wants to give her to the shelter, and I really don’t know what to do. Hazel also really doesn’t like humans, she runs away whenever we get near her. I don’t understand because she was born in this house and has 3 other siblings who are totally fine with us. She doesn't let us near her which makes it very hard for us to take her to the vet. The last time I did was 1-2 years ago for this exact problem but they unfortunately quoted me too much to run some tests (I was suspecting UTI) and I did not have the money to go through with it. After that vet visit, I was unable to go neasee her for a very long time. She does not seem to have any other issues though, she plays, eats, drinks, sleeps just fine, and never shows any discomfort. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much! :(
submitted by AdMental3475 to vet [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 kyrakittens Figure Skating Question-

Hi all! My name is Kyra :D I just have a quick question about figure skating- I read through the wiki but I think I would like some more catered answers towards my situation! So I want to get more into figure skating, sadly I never could start at a younger age just because of my location, but I'm finally moving and will have access to classes and rinks all year around now. I'm 18, and while I want to do this as a hobby as I've loved figure skating for some time now, I think the end goal is to be able to compete in some competitions. Ofc not professional level, but having goals is always good and I do enjoy competition. How common are competitions for adults? I'm super excited to get more involved in the figure skating community!!
(Also if anyone has any info on the figure skating compeitions/avaliability in France- that would be great. If not thats okay too because it's kind of a toss up if I'm gonna end up in France or Canada for the long run haha. Rn I'm in the US but I'm moving so any information is good!)
submitted by kyrakittens to FigureSkating [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 LeVraiRoiDHyrule Want to begin swimming again, for "light" intensity

First of all english is not my mother language, so sorry if my words are imperfect.
I didn't swim for 3 years because I had no pool nearby, now I have. So I would like to get back to it.
But I've never swim with high performance in mind, that never was my goal is still isn't. I'm mostly looking to empty my head after work, and maybe loose a bit of fat but that's secondary.
I'm looking for tips, and some help to know what to do, what programs you could recommend. I want very simple program, after work I want to be dumb. I want to have to nearly not think at all. I will have from 1 to 2h after work at the pool.
Maybe later I'll look for higher intensity swimming, but for now I need to like "discover" it again.
Thanks in advance for your help, have a great day !
submitted by LeVraiRoiDHyrule to Swimming [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 scabbehhhh Please help me!!

I've sent vids to someone in exchange for money he didn't send, saved the vids found my location and said if I don't pay him he will post them to my community please I'm so so scared, what do I do ?!?!?! I'm crying and everything please help
submitted by scabbehhhh to SugarBabyGroups [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:40 AdMental3475 Cat Pee

My cat Hazel, (4 YO, Female) has been peeing on our beds and blankets nonstop. She is spayed and has been doing this for a couple of years now. Sometimes very frequently and then she doesn't for a couple of weeks. But multiple times a month. There are times when she's been on a new blanket at least 7x in one week. We even put a new litter box in the room but she looks at it and doesn’t use it. I spray non-marking spray but it doesn’t work. I have tried UTI medicine, UTI food, more litter boxes, and covering the bed. My family wants to give her to the shelter, and I really don’t know what to do. Hazel also really doesn’t like humans, she runs away whenever we get near her. I don’t understand because she was born in this house and has 3 other siblings who are totally fine with us. She doesn't let us near her which makes it very hard for us to take her to the vet. The last time I did was 1-2 years ago for this exact problem but they unfortunately quoted me too much to run some tests (I was suspecting UTI) and I did not have the money to go through with it. After that vet visit, I was unable to go neasee her for a very long time. She does not seem to have any other issues though, she plays, eats, drinks, sleeps just fine, and never shows any discomfort. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much! :(
submitted by AdMental3475 to AskVet [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:39 citizennat Best places to eat with outdoor seating?

New to Reno and have been looking for the best places to eat that have outdoor seating (as the weather has been beautiful!) Anywhere from Northwest Reno to downtown to slightly south…near the Truckee is my favourite!
Any recommendations?
I’ve got no dietary restrictions whatsoever…so any and all reccs are welcome!
submitted by citizennat to Reno [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:39 Flips___ Upgrade to current PC

>**What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.**
* 1080p 240hz gaming and possibly 1440p 144hz down the line
>**What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?**
* 1450 Euro
>**When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.**
* Buying it in 4 days
>**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget? (ToweOS/monitokeyboard/mouse/etc\)**
* Only GPU, CPU, Motherboard, RAM and PSU
>**Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?**
* Ireland, Leinster
>**If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.**
* Reusing everything except, GPU, Motherboard, CPU, Ram and PSU
>**Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?**
* I would do it down the line on my CPU and possibly GPU
>**Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)**
* N/A
>**Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?**
* N/A
>**Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?**
* N/A
>**Extra info or particulars:**
Upgrade from this current pc partpicker
submitted by Flips___ to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:39 Turbulent_Fox_9929 Need advice

I matched with this guy on bumble few months back. At that point of time, i was not in a state where i wanted something but one day i was so frustrated and wanted to go out for coffee so badly and needed some company. So, I swiped and matched texted instantly as his location showed near by and asked him if he is up for coffee the same evening. He said yes.
I went, I wasn’t expecting any thing, we met and to my surprise, i was very comfortable around him instantly. There was no extra effort or awkwardness It felt really nice talking, we laughed so much. I felt good. He dropped me home the same night and later in the night we thought of going on a drive. We did make-out a bit that night and i came back home.
2 days later - he asked me to come-over to his place and i was also excited and when i did go and when we were about to have sex, i started having a panic attack. ( i have had mental issues and was in far better place that time). I didn’t know how to express, so i told him something, i told him my sugar levels are falling down, i need some sugar or glucose, some shit i cooked up. I didn’t want to tell him i was having a panic attack. Some how he understood, got me some food and was comforting me though things got awkward a bit. I came back home Then he went on some vacay, i had my exam preparation going on. But after like 20 days i met him again, he doesn’t talk or communicate on phone but when we met we had nice conversations.
3rd meeting :
After one month of my exams, i meet him, this time it was a proper planned date. But my bad ,due to something that has happened i went an hour late. We had good food and talks but idk i was getting conscious around him that i started talking anything. I didn’t know if any of it made any sense. I was feeling foolish inside , but i was talking only.
Then , he was dropping me back home, he was all silent. He was getting late to home and his mom was constantly calling. I got very anxious, I didn’t know what to talk and all, i stayed silent too and i was bit drunk that point and was overthinking if i did anything or spoke anything wrong.
He dropped me home , and called me asking if we can have sex. I said okay, but then he added , if you’re only comfortable we would do it, if its gonna be awkward like last time - lets not I felt so weird and embarrassed that moment , i said okay
The plan was to meet 9 am the following day and he told me not to be late , as his entire day gonna depend on when i come and he has lot of work also
I said id be there by 9 , I woke up at 730 and was waiting for his text, so i start. Suddenly at 830 i fell asleep and suddenly i woke up to see the time was 930 and had his missed-calls He thought i wouldn’t be coming and went on with his plans for the day I didn’t meet him that day, i felt so bad.
After that we sometimes spoke on Instagram and things, but idk if he’s interested in me anymore. Sometimes its all mixed signals. I wanted to give it a try, tell him, talk to him normally without my anxiety talking to him.
Even though i want to talk and tell him, we’ll give it a try, I’m scared it would sound desperate and don’t want to push someone to like me . But I really feel like giving it a try with him coz it was very comfortable and warm around him idk its weird , but i think I really like him cuz i cannot take him out of my thought’s though it been sometime i spoke or met him. What do i do ? Any advice or perspective?
submitted by Turbulent_Fox_9929 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:39 saugormadhya vegetarian in cenu

hello all! i’m a british person who will be in cebu for a month for work. i’m living in a fairly central area of cebu city and i’m so excited. i have family who used to live between cebu and palawan and they have absolutely raved about the area and the lovely ppl in it, and i work with lots of filipinos in the u.k. (i work in hospitals). after my placement i’ll be travelling (mostly palawan) for about 3.5 weeks, so that’s nearly 2 months in PH!
my only fear is the food. i don’t have a kitchen, so will be having exclusively takeout, street food, restaurant, and 7/11 food. i’ve heard the street food is excellent, but most the things i see on line are EXTREMELY meat heavy...
could anyone recommend things i could try as a vegetarian? i’ve been veggie for 11 years and the idea of eating meat or fish makes me feel ill, is there any food options you would recommend or some good places to go in cebu that are VG friendly?
i’ve heard indian places (which i’m very fond of) do great options but any where you could advise would be amazing
thank you so much!
submitted by saugormadhya to Philippines [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 solgdssfgg 23 [F4M] Phoenix in need of a cute hung guy who can make me cum and in return we fuck hard all night

I'm in your location,bored in here,ready to help anyone bang,and get wasted tonight.Up for sex or sext hmu any one interested in my service and i'd make you cum all night.Just Hookup pls, not up for anything serious.
submitted by solgdssfgg to PhoenixSingles [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 Bybebyebirdie Holiday France

Me and my boyfriend are going camping in France this summer. We are looking for 3 campings (westcoast, middle france/mountains and mediterrane sea). I am overwhelmded... but looking for camping with...:
Hope you guys have some tips...
submitted by Bybebyebirdie to france [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 Sakura-Nagara What is the most difficult game you have ever played and won?

For me, it was a few games ago, I usually play very modded, so I have Gigas and ACOT with Secrets beyond the gate on.
I was about to throw for a few times, but I kept playing, I set the gigastructural engineering precursor crisis Aeternum to omega and to trigger at endgame start year 2400, till then I have already forcefully united the galaxy into a hegemony and had a large part of the outer rim in the north and a small part of the south core and 6 allies that were also my vassals.Till 2270, we fought that southern Federation of 4 empires and snuffed them out by 2300 and by 2350 one FE awoke because somebody pissed it off, so there were a lot of skirmishes and casualties, but nothing really changed apart from that the AE got some land.
I was building up, knowing what would come for me and about 15 years before they awoke completely mastered Alpha enigmatic technology with their precursor ships.
Then they came at me with over 1.8 billion fleetpower while I barely exceeded 100 million, they obliterated the AE and the two other FEs that were still there.
Fast-forward I spend dozens of hours and nearly 150 years fighting Aeternum, in the end I won, lost the south part of my empire, 5 out of 6 allies, the galaxy lost many worlds and thousands of pops and I lost about 80k ships as I was steadily rebuilding the entire time and coming back with the somewhat OP economy that ACOT gave me.
After that I was no doubt winner of the game even tho I disabled winning dates, but I was done with this match after spending 30 years to siege Aiondia with about 1500 armies lol
submitted by Sakura-Nagara to Stellaris [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 crmathe1 Moving down from Michigan

Hello! We’re moving down from Michigan and my wife had her med card up here. It has since expired but since it’s recreationally legal here it wasn’t an issue. She originally got it for having grade 5 spondylolisthesis. How hard are med cards to get down there? Are dispensaries easy to locate / utilize? Are you able to grow if you have a med card? Any other pertinent info would be great! Thanks!
submitted by crmathe1 to MSmedicalcannabis [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 Positive_Dig_2240 How to do something useful as an amateur pianist

A question for other amateur pianists from a long-time amateur piano performer. Was very talented in childhood, took lessons up through college but let it rot afterwards. I've picked it up and dropped it multiple times. I now have the time to devote to it again, though perhaps no more than one hours a day. After three years of doing it, I can at least do intermediate pieces, though the more difficult stuff I enjoy is still unlistenable to any audience.
My question is - as a semi-skilled amateur - what can I actually *do* with it? It seems incredibly self-indulgent to practice an hour a day for nothing and no one in particular. In my younger days I was involved in amateur pick-up bands (generally jazz/fusion), but as a fiftysomething parent, it isn't as if I can find peers who do things like this. (Plus, I get the feeling garage bands are not nearly as popular a hobby as they were thirty years ago.) As far as solo performance, my abilities are far less than what they would need to be for any performance to be entertaining on its own. And I don't have multiple hours every day to bring my chops up where they need to be.
What do other amateurs do to make themselves useful, musically?
submitted by Positive_Dig_2240 to piano [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 Ill_Grocery8895 I need legal advice. Divorce will be remarrying i have 6y.o daughter wants to relocate to another country but ex doesnt allow

Hi I am 33F divorced with 6y.o daughter. I will be remarrying soon but my partner lives in Japan. I always wanted to move there as well and would like to raised my daughter in more safe environment compare to living in Chicago. My problem understandably that my ex-husband does not allow it. I am originally from Philippines but would also love to be near my family. I don't have any family in Chicago. Basically support wise for my daughter are my ex-husband, great grandma and his mom. Other than that I can't trust his stepdad for personal reason. I know this is complicated case. Ex-husband offered that If I still move to Japan, that I can have my daughter every Summer and Winter break. I don't know if thats a good deal. I feel like I will break my daughter's heart as she always say she doesn't want to be apart from me. Ex-husband is good person but he is addicted to computer games which my daughter usually complains at me. I am not sure if he can really focused on raising our daughter by himself like making sure homework is done, bath everyday , making decent or healthy food ( he can't cook). My daughter is a mama's girl (maybe I am saying it as a biased) but she usually calms down and listen to me. I think when it comes to choosing between me and her dad, she will always pick me but I know she is too young for the court to choose which side unfortunately. also when it comes to Japan, my future husband only want me to work part time to have something set aside for my daughter and savings and he can take care of the rest. Which I'll be grateful as I want to focus more on being a mom and wife. I need some advice on how I can go about this ? I am thinking of getting a lawyer to fight for sole custody and relocation. I am not sure if I can win or not. I wanna fight for my daughter. Also I was thinking if my ex will allow or judge to have my daughter every 2 years. It might be tough on her. But I believe there are kids that have move around more often than that. I was thinking every 2 years at least maybe my daughter can experience Japan and my other side of the family and see if she can integrate and revisit or reevaluate her feelings or which ever side she wants to be. But I want opportunity that she can experience the culture that we love. Is that something I can offer to my ex husband or judge like proposal ? My ex-husband concerns is my future husband and his family as he doesnt know them. which is understandable but how I go about that? what are other people experience when it comes to divorce and remarrying. Do I have to introduce them to each other or have them bond or something? How does it work ? Thank you for anyone help.
submitted by Ill_Grocery8895 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:38 Nuyturah Abdominal injury when doing a bar kip, with persistent pain in first few months. Currently, inconsistent pain increases with some physical activity or food intake. No diagnosis to date.

Demographic: White, male, age 29, 5' 5", 175 +/- 5lbs.
Lifestyle: Active (workout 3-4x per week), Desk/Physical work 80/20%.
Complaint: Abdominal injury and pain (9 months since injury), presently inconsistent pains.
Medication: No consistent medications, no allergies.
Drug use: alcohol (1-3x per month), non-smoker.
History of the Injury
Late August of 2022, I hurt myself doing a kip on horizontal bar outdoors. Right after raising my feet to the bar and kicking my legs out I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen.
Bar kip example:
I couldn't stop slouching and crunching my abdomen. Stretching backwards and straightening my posture was very discomforting. The severe pain subsided in a day but in the following months I couldn't stretch my stomach and had to sleep on my back with pillows under my knees to keep a flexed/crunched posture. Sleeping on the side was discomforting, because the stomach would hang to the side, bringing up the pain.
In 3 months, I felt better. However, there were always some flare-ups on pain.
Pain Description: The pain felt like it always was in "horizontal lines", on 1-3 locations at a time (the sensation varies from time to time). Through my personal touch/observation, these horizontal lines of pain were always along tendinous inscriptions of the ab structures. Sometimes I feel lower 1 or two lines in pain. Other times it’s one of the upper line(s).
Tendinous inscriptions image:
Causes of Pain: Pain flare-ups happened when moving heavy objects, pulling something heavy from ground, stretching the abdominal area, or a day after the occasional exercise. Twisting my torso side to side could also make pain worse, stretching one side of the abdomen, especially if twisting in my full range. Slight turns were okay.
Flare-ups also happened immediately after eating specific foods (sunflower seeds, nutty bars, and when a bit bloated from eating. I have had some pain relief often immediately after having bowel movement.
Medical history of the Injury and Other Notes
- Within a week of the injury, ruled out hernia at a clinic.
- 3+ months of slow pain relief, with flare ups. Mostly sedentary life and very little physical activity.
- Late December through early February 2023: Doctors visit, abdominal ultrasound, and physical exam. No specific conclusions on either physical injury or gastric issues. No diagnosis.
- February to present day, June 2023:
Slow increase in physical activity and exercise. Some running. With a good warm up, stretching the abdominal area isn't painful (though I don't stretch too much there for now.)
Rare ab exercises can feel discomforting, and some pain returns the day after.
Jumping high or landing can have pain sensation return (inconsistently).
- Bloated stomach, or consumption of some foods (as mentioned above) can feel discomforting or even painful along 1 or more " horizontal lines". Bowel movement often relieves discomfort and even pain.
Self-medication: On a few occasions, I tried to apply heat or cold, which didn’t help with pain much. But the cold helped numb things down. Heat helped to warm the abdomen and make some movements easier for a short time.
Rare/inconsistent instances of ibuprofen use (around 400-600 mg). Can't remember how effective pain relief is.
Massage/poking: Generally, I do it when I feel pain or discomfort along the horizontal lines. Massage, poking, deep massage does NOT reduce the pain for me. Sometimes even makes me feel the pain more. But mentally feels good to do and feel out where I feel it.
Present day condition (June 2023)
Some pain flare-ups with physical activities, infrequent feeling of discomfort in the mornings or after food (for both, often relieved through bowel movement).
Concern: While things have gotten better in 9 months, I am not certain what I should and should not do, given there is no diagnosis. The occasional pain increases made me curious if someone had an experience with pain like this.
Thanks in advance for any feedback!!!
submitted by Nuyturah to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.06.04 23:37 thercery A word of warming for binge drinking

I recently relapsed after 2 months sober (and nearly 2 years sober before that). I had a sexual advance at work which upset me.
It started with a visit to a brewery where I had three drinks and thought it would be fine. That same evening I snuck away to Kroger and bought more.
I began drinking 10-20 drink servings a day, for two weeks or so (mind you the strongest was 8% seltzecider but still. I was drinking the full-sized boxes of the weaker seltzer in one-two days, plus some more)
First off, how screwed am I? This wasn't my first sort of behavior doing this, but I'm also in the throes of the anxieties of withdrawal and am convinced I'm going to die any second.
The night terrors, high BP, and palpitations were terrible day one, but I'm nearly back to normal (with only an elevated heart rate hovering around 80-110 at rest give or take stress) now. My symptoms are getting better day by day, but it's still a frightening hell.
It reached the point where I stepped into a rehab and they recommended a weekly program, but advised that my withdrawal did not seem to the extent that I'd need to stay with them in-house.
Yall see all of that stress? My fatalism? This is what you get after a relapse; please do not let prior fears fade and think "a couple drinks will be fine". It likely wont.
I'm genuinely curious how bad you all think this is/how extreme this is, or if I'm making more of drinking (admittedly quite a lot) of seltzer and beer.
(And yes. I'm scheduling with all my doctors, and can only hope they take me seriously)
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2023.06.04 23:36 AhiruAvocado Im a failure at my life

Im 18F about to graduate highschool soon, I've had this full time job for nearly a year (im in online school.) The job pays well, really well. But the past few months I haven't been doing good. My boss says it's my lack of trying, but I am. I swear I am. But I know that doesn't mean anything. I just wonder why I began to fail so bad, I was doing really good at one point. I wasn't positive, but I had goals, I was focused in on them But then it began to falter and I began to lose my drive. I dont want to make any excuses, I dont think there's anything that is a good enough reason for me suddenly failing. I have a significant other, he's 21m. I care for him, I stay with him now only because im afraid of being alone. I finally noticed after so long he's been putting me down, bringing me to his level. Making me question myself, feel insecure, this relationship turned me into someone I don't even know. He has become someone I don't even know, and he doesn't want to do better for himself anymore. He just, puts us both down. And I think this has been a root cause for my decline but I dont know what to do. If I lose my job I don't think I'll recover from the depression and suicidal thoughts. I don't even see a successful future without it. and if I lose my significant other I don't know if I'll ever be able to find someone who actually loves me. I wish I could go back to the me who was more motivated and confident. The me before this year started, or maybe the verison of myself who finally picked herself back up around February or March of this year but this time I won't stumble and keep falling like I have to this point.
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2023.06.04 23:36 xxTCOxx i'm a loser...

I am a 20-year-old virgin loser with no real friends, who is probably going to fail college and be yet another disappointment. Honestly I don't even know why I try to do anything in life anymore. Everything I do, I fail.
I am a failure as a person and as a spiritual being. No matter how many self-help books I read, no matter how many people tell me it's going to be ok, no matter how many personal growth journeys I go thru, I am still miserable, and I hate living on this fucked up planet.
I am sadly too much of a bitch to end it all, which deeply frustrates me because I want to die, I don't want another 60-70 years of this neverending fall... Whenever I think I hit rock bottom, BOOM, another shitty thing happens.
Although I have 'friends' and family, I am still alone, I have no one to talk to and to truly express myself. I bottle up my anger and sadness, and just go to the woods near a river and cry... I see a tree I think of hanging myself on every day. It's a beautiful oak tree in the middle of nowhere... There are birds living in it, and the sound of them being the last sounds I would ever hear would be nice...
I have given up dating since in my 20 years there hasn't been a single girl really interested in me, which isn't a surprise... Why would anyone even want me... I offer nothing positive and it's not like I go out to parties and actually talk/engage with them. I am antisocial and I have deep anxiety when I'm in a room full of strangers... Although I train in kickboxing and jiu-jitsu, so I don't fear for my safety when I'm around strangers.
I haven't talked to a girl in about a year, and I don't even know how I would approach or even have a conversation with her... Best for everybody I stay alone and lonely. My nihilistic perception of life is helping me to deal with this, because if I don't kill myself, biology will and I will finally be at peace... I can't wait for that moment, I hope it comes quickly...
Every day I wake up I cry because it's another day of misery and regret... And every time I go to sleep, I cry because the day was miserable and regretful...
thank you for reading my essay on how fucked up and how much of a loser I am haha...
submitted by xxTCOxx to doomer [link] [comments]