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Hi All, I (31M) am analyzing various events from my last short term relationship. I am not sure if should call it relationship as we were not official, but we were exclusively dating, having sex and meeting for over 3 months. I am now reading a lot about attachment types plus other stuff and thinking if that girl (28F) was a narc or having at least those traits. If what I am describing below constitutes triangulation or not?
I am not going here to list all the major red flags, as that would be a longer post I will maybe write some day later. Also myself I was not crystal, I also made errors (lied to her about my body count as I was afraid of losing her - I was a virgin), ignored red flags etc. In short, we met 2 weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend. They spent 2 and half year together.
After 3 and half month of spending together every other weekend, I had a bachelor party of my friend so I could not visit her on that weekend (it was long distance, so it was either me visiting her or vice versa) Anyway, I went for the party with my friends. Before the party she asked for photos, and asked again how are we doing, during the night. I sent her few photos of me and my friends, having good time, to which she replied with heart emojis and few texts. Next day I woke up early (I was on party till 3am only) as I needed to go to a conference in different city. While there, she called me and asked me "if I would like her to come to my city" mid next week as her friend needs to come to my city, so she could go with her. I asked why she says it like that, in that manner. It was second occasion during that relationship, where instead of saying "are we meeting" "I would like to meet" or "what about meeting" she was saying it in this strange way. For me it is normal that if we are dating and treating this seriously, we want to meet each other. So no reason to put it like that. I told her about this to which she replied in (for me) joking sweet tone "because I would like more attention from you..." I told her I think she got the attention from me. I think I was investing much more in this relationship than her (yes, now I know it was wrong), so I knew that she joked. She mentioned that her female friend has already booked a hotel and she could stay with her so that other girls is not alone. I was in a hurry (to a conference) and told her that we will talk in detail about our meeting in the evening, that I will call her so we can discuss. She said ok. I wanted to spend another night with her, so wanted to discuss if maybe she could leave her friend alone (for the night)
Anyway, few hours went by, I went back home and tried to call her. No signal (in my country it is a sign of a phone being turned off), but then after 30 minutes I tried twice more and the signal was indicating that phone is turned on, and that she is currently talking). She did not pick up for an hour and finally when she did, she told me the battery was dead. I told her it was not, because for last 20 or 30 minutes the signal was indicating that she is talking with someone else over the phone. And then she struck me with "Ok Ok, I did talk with someone" to which I asked "with whom" and she said that it was her ex. And it was not over the phone. She was in his car with him. He had messaged her few hours earlier, that he has 2 last questions for her. I asked her why she met with him to which she started a tantrum of words, like "it was only my decision" "do you think it would help something if I picked the phone call from you when talking with him" I told her she knew I wouldn't like her to talk with him. I was a bit in shock. We never had a conversation about our boundaries when it comes to her meeting ex*
I asked then what he wanted from her. He asked her if she is meeting someone, to which she said yes. And after telling me that, she started telling me how she was upset by this, that he started to tell her she has no heart, that he cant look at other girls since he broke up with her, and how could she be meeting with someone else already. I told her that he is a toxic guy, and that he has no right to say such things, that it is her life and not his. But she was not hearing this. She was shouting things like "I am a bad person" " I am hurting people" "I don't know who am I" "If you could see his eyes, he hates me..."
Well, it certainly isn't easy to write about this as I can not understand why I started to tell her why he is toxic and why she is not harming anyone. I was basically defending her, I guess doing that in order not to lose her. I can not to this day understand, why I was such a doormat in that moment, instead of just telling her that the only person she is hurting with those comments, is me, and leaving her in that moment. It really left me shocked. Next week I called her few times, saying that I don't understand what she is doing, why she suddenly needs time to analyze things, why she feels like she hurt him.... She mentioned she is not planning to go back to her ex, I don't remember if it was because she just doesn't want him or is because the ex hates her now anyway.
In those 2 subsequent weeks I told her that she disrespected my feelings by meeting him, that it was not fair joking about lack of attention and plans for our meeting at one time, and few hours later telling me she met with ex and she doesn't know if she can meet with anyone now... She only said "I am sorry if that is how you felt it" But at same time, every hour without contact was difficult for me, so next few days, I was sending her some funny pictures of us together, trying to raise her mood, so maybe she can forget about the toxic things her ex had told her. Finally I told her that I am not able to let this go, so if she wants to end things between us, she can do it now. Now after some time, I realize I was in between two feeling, one was feeling disrespected, but at same time feeling fear of losing her...She asked me for few days, said she will call me next weekend, but she did not. After 5 days of no contact I texted her some nice things as a final message , also adding that I don't understand why she cant just call and break things, as that's what normal people do for me...that I would understand if she want to come back to ex or just doesn't want to continue with me. I called her, she did not reply and then I just texted "ok, if that's how you want to end this, then be it" After that msg, she called me, told me she had not called past couple of days as she was busy at work etc. and she told me she likes me but can't meet anyone now. That it was her decision and I shouldn't blame her ex, and that she knows I am disappointed. That was how it ended pretty much.
I am writing about this, because as stated in beginning, I am reading a lot about relationships, also about narcissist traits. I am thinking if she was a narc or it is just my mind that is looking for answer and putting her in that bracket, in order to have some answers...I read about triangulation and thought if that emotional cheating from her, was not some sort of triangulation? Although if it was, it was a single event as her ex was pretty much out of the picture and she didn't bring him up other than some usual stories of her past. Only Once she stated she doesn't want us to walk through a certain corner in her city, as her ex works there and she wouldn't like to start some fights or talks, etc... Another red flag, to which I only stated this is the last time she brings her ex topic, that she ended things with him so I do not want to hear about him in such context. Still, I think I agreed that if she doesn't want to walk so close to his workplace, I can accept that for now. Also asked her in anger if maybe she would like to have another talk with him, to which she stated "I don't want to talk with him" It was 2 and half month into this relationship.
I blame myself a lot, that I did not set the boundaries early on and fully trusted her. But I also think that she was not allowed to meet with him again, without asking me if I am alright with this. I feel that she hurt me, and not by breaking this with me, as everyone can do what they want. But the way she treated me, that is where I think she was cruel. After spending many nice moments together, suddenly one night screaming at me that she is bad person, that I have no empathy for that guy, that she hurt him, "if you could see his eyes, he hates me" (and calling me rude, when in anger, I told her that maybe I should send him flowers with apologies, if her dating me hurt him that much)
*important info: After one month of knowing her (2-3 days spent together in total back then), she met with him as he expected closure. During that he mentioned to her that he cant live without her, but she told me that for her it is over, that she told me about that request from him (for closure talk) before meeting him, because she treats me seriously and wants to be honest. I said back then that if it is for closure, then I am fine with it, knowing that in the end I have no power whether she is going to cheat me or go back with him. Anyway, after that closure meeting she said that for her nothing changed (meaning that relationship is over), that she is a a bit drained emotionally as she had not expected that he was in such a bad state. I was irritated by her mood back then, as during our pre 1st date texting, and also during the date, she told me that this relationship was in agony already for last couple of months, that they broke up together (no dumper and dumpee), so for me now hearing her obviously impacted by his feelings, was a bit of surprise. Then she told me I must understand she was with him for nearly 3 years, that I should have an empathy for her as she would not like some guy to kill himself because of her. I just told her to go to sleep, rest and next day we started communicating again like nothing happened. I remember my thoughts to myself were "ok, she has right to be affected if she really had not expected his emotions etc..." "they just broke up so it is normal" "hope I am not being used and she won't ever see him again" Those were my thoughts.
TL;DR! Long distance short term relationship (Me-31, Her-28). Met her right after she broke up with another guy. She ended our short relationship after she met with an ex (not telling me about him wanting to see her), and broke down emotionally, saying things that were hurtful to me. Now I am analyzing if she was narcissist, or it was just an expected outcome of someone jumping into relationship too early after breakup, and the other one (me) wanting to be in relationship too much, and ignoring red flags. Was her behavior at the end, a narc triangulation or am I analyzing too much?

This post is about a couple of older and elderly women who vanished without a trace. I wanted to include women who disappeared without much of an explanation. When elderly people go missing, their disappearances can often be chalked up to a dementia-related event. I believe many elderly people who vanished with their cars may be in the bottom of lakes and rivers. Those who lived near wilderness may have gotten lost and died of exposure. Those who were picked up or hitchhiked could've been brought to a hospital where they were unable to communicate their true identity. The women I included went missing under more suspicious circumstances.
Mayme Hart Johnson - Disappeared June 12th, 2000 from Nashville, Tennessee.
Mayme is the first on the list and the reason I decided to do this post. On June 12th, 2000, Mayme Hart Johnson, a local historian, researcher, and teacher went missing from Nashville, Tennessee. Mayme, who was 85, lived in the 100 block of Bosley Springs Road in West Nashville with her son, Sam, in his apartment. At 6:30 am that morning, her son woke to find his mother gone. While he reported that he wasn't initially concerned because Mayme occasionally left the apartment around that time, he became alarmed when she didn't return by lunchtime. Where Mayme would go/what she would do at that time is not known. Richland Creek is close by to the apartments, but from what I've seen, it's narrow and a body would probably soon be found if it was in there, despite it being 28 miles long. Of course, there is always a chance she made it into a larger body of water that concealed her. A maintenance man from the Johnson's building told authorities that he had seen Mayme at 6:30 am the day she went missing. This was around the time Sam woke up. Whether this employee saw her outside the building, inside the building, near or on her apartment floor, or down the street is not mentioned. At the time of her disappearance Mayme was 5'5, 120 pounds, with brown eyes and gray hair, and last seen wearing pink pants and a pink blouse. Whether these were pajamas or not (possibly indicating a dementia-like episode, where she got up out of the house and left without telling her son or getting dressed) is, like many things in this case, unknown. Mayme, as I mentioned, was a historian and if you google her name you will find a few sites that show her body of work. In 1986, she published "A Treasury of Tennessee Churches". A search for Mayme was conducted in the Nashville area and extended to Huntingdon, TN, where her husband's grave was, and where she had been visiting the weekend before she vanished. There was also an aerial search of Eastern Maury County that took place in July 2000 after law enforcement came up with a theory that she could be a target of the I-65 rapist. I'm not sure where police got this idea from. The I-65/Days Inn Killer, now identified as Harry Edward Greenwell, murdered three hotel clerks (ages 21, 24, 34) in the late 1980s. He also sexually assaulted a 21 year old hotel clerk in 1990. While LE does believe he's connected to more violent crimes, I'm not sure how they link Mayme to him--if you know, please add your knowledge in the comments. After the aerial search, nothing was found linking anything to Mayme. In 2008 she was declared deceased.
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Helen Joyce Rawley - disappeared June 4th, 2003 from College Park, Maryland
Helen Joyce Rawley lived in a bungalow on the 4600 block of Knox Road in College Park, Maryland with her son. 75 year old Helen went by her middle name "Joyce" so that is how I'll refer to her. Seventy-five year old Joyce and her son, Tom, had lived together since the death of Joyce's husband of 48 years, Nelson, in 2001. Between 6:45 and 7:00 am on June 4th, 2003, Joyce was last seen by her tenant, a man who had rented a room at the Rawley home for the last eight years. Joyce was seen by him on her porch that morning as he returned home from work. Beginning the day after her husband died in February 2001, Joyce suffered two strokes four days apart. Because of the strokes, she was unable to talk and considered disabled because of her inability to communicate. In 2002, Joyce underwent chemotherapy and radiation for rectal cancer. She was on medication that made her tired and weak. She didn't go out anywhere by herself except to get the mail. Her mind remained "sound", according to her son. The day she went missing, her son returned home from his foreman job at 3:30 pm, and found the house empty with the lights off. Joyce's purse and wallet remained left behind in her bedroom, everything was in place, and there were no signs of a robbery. Police tracked Joyce's scent out the front door which she never used, and to the corner of the block. However, she went missing on a "rain-soaked" and "dreary" day and it's possible the bad weather could've washed away any more of her scent outside. Since the death of her husband who died unexpectedly in his sleep, and her two other sons who died together in a 1982 boating accident, Joyce's immediate family consisted of her remaining child Tom, who was unmarried and childless at the time of his mother's disappearance. If she had other family out of the area is unknown. She does have a beach house in Annapolis, Maryland, but had not visited there after she went missing. She was 75 when she disappeared, standing between 5'4-5'5 and 110 pounds. Due to her cancer, she wore a colostomy bag and was on several medications that she can't go long without. Fliers with Joyce's information went out, woods were searched, local bus drivers were notified and questioned if they had seen her, and hospitals had been checked. A helicopter flew over the city at night with a heat-detecting device. No sight of her was ever found. She had brown eyes and white hair and was last seen in a sweatshirt and slacks. She enjoys gardening, crossword puzzles, and reading. Police don't suspect foul play and Tom isn't considered a suspect (neither is the tenant who was the last to see her), but they aren't sure what could've happened.
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Maebell Dawson - disappeared January 3rd, 1998 from Jefferson Township, Ohio
68 year old Maebell Dawson had lived in a one bedroom apartment on the 2nd floor of the Martin Luther Manor Living Center on Liscum Drive for about a year when she went missing. Maebell was divorced, had two daughters, and had retired from a hospital housekeeping job two years prior. Maebell was close to her family, and when calls to reach her went unanswered for two days, by January 5th, her residence was checked. Nothing in the second-story apartment was missing or out of place. Her winter coat was draped over a chair, her wallet, credit cards, cash, and a check for rent dated 1/8/98 were all found in her purse on the table. Her bank account was never accessed again. There were no signs of forced entry, a struggle or robbery inside the apartment. LE does not believe Maebell was attacked from her apartment or lured from the premises, but they do believe foul play was involved. According to CharleyProject, suicide "has not been ruled out but has been deemed unlikely". In 1998, Maebell was between 5'4 - 5'6 and 180 pounds. She had brown eyes and gray hair, wore glasses, and was last seen in a tan jogging suit. She was last seen entering her apartment at 9:30 pm on January 3rd. Five and a half years after her disappearance, Maebell was declared legally dead.
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Norma Mae Maynard - disappeared February 3rd, 1979 from Boone, Iowa.
Norma Mae Maynard went missing in early February of 1979, just two weeks after the unexpected death of her husband, Carl, on January 19th. Norma and Carl had been married for three decades and Norma was deeply grieving the loss. Norma lived with her 30 year old son, and he was the last to see his mother. He stated that shortly before noon on February 2nd, he found a note from his 61 year old mother that stated she was on her way to Los Angeles, not to look for her, and that she'd get in touch again someday. The validity of this note (if seen by LE, if handwritten analysis was performed, etc) is not known. Norma's purse and a few items of clothing were missing, but her checkbook and jewelry were left behind. There was no sign of a break-in at the house. Her husband's pension which she lived off of and her bank account with savings was not touched. Norma was a shy woman who spent most of her time at home and had a regular routine. She didn't drive and her brothers stated that she had never been more than a few miles from her hometown. Her husband's funeral bill was paid for by a check dated four days after she vanished and signed by "Mrs. Carl Maynard". According to Charley Project, "The signature appeared to match Maynard's handwriting, and her son said she had signed a blank check and left it with him to fill in and pay the bill". The validity of this is not known either. A sighting of a woman matching Norma's description was seen by a local Greyhound bus station employee. The woman was boarding a bus bound for Los Angeles. Police are not sure of the accuracy of this sighting and consider it "shaky". Norma didn't drive but she didn't normally travel by bus, and why she allegedly went to Los Angeles is unknown: she had no friends or family there. Norma's son was not considered a suspect in her case, though some members of her family believe he was involved in her disappearance. He has maintained his innocence and has since moved out of state. Norma was 5'3 tall and weight 175 pounds, with blue eyes and gray hair. If she was alive today, she'd be 105. I believe someone close to her knows what happened and made up the story about her leaving for California. My second theory would be suicide, and she made up the California story so her family wouldn't worry.
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Yu Chin Goodson - disappeared March 25th, 2005 from Russellville, Franklin County, Alabama.
Yu Chin Goodson is one of the youngest on my list, and at 57, I wouldn't classify her as elderly, but she is an older woman with a lot of mental and physical issues, who went missing under mysterious circumstances like these other women. Yu Chin is an Asian woman suffering from paranoid schizophrenia, diabetes, and a heart problem which required daily medication. In 2005, she was living in group home for patients with mental disabilities in Russellville, Alabama. On March 25th, 2005, a witness claimed to see Yu Chin enter a small, older grey or silver car with a loud muffler. The car was headed toward the Decatur, Alabama area, which is where her son lives. Staff at the group home were informed that Yu Chin was gone, and within 15 minutes of her disappearance, the police were notified and a search for Yu Chin began. No trace of her was ever found. Her son, who lives in the Decatur area, was never contacted by his mother. There has been no mention of foul play, and authorities believe she could currently be homeless and living in shelters. At the time of this write up, she has been missing for almost twenty years and would be around 75 if still alive.
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Barbara B. Blount - disappeared May 2nd, 2008 from Holden, Louisiana
Barbara B. Blount was a 58 year old widow who lived on the same road as her children, kept in regular contact with her family and friends, and was active in her local church. It came as a surprise one morning when her nephew came over to visit her residence in rural Livingston Parish, Louisiana, and Barbara was nowhere to be found. A neighbor had just spoken to her over the phone, and Barbara had said she was cleaning out her kitchen cabinets. By the time her nephew had arrived for a visit, the front door was wide open, Barbara's phone was lying on the floor with the battery pulled out, her car was gone, and Barbara was missing. Besides for the unusual circumstances in the home, police didn't find any proof of forced entry. A few hours later in the late afternoon, the silver four door 2006 Toyota Camry Barbara owned was found a quarter of a mile from her home. It was found 25-30 yards off the main road and out of sight, hidden by trees. No trace of Barbara was discovered, baffling friends and family who described Barbara as a cautious individual who carried a gun when she went outside to milk the cows and didn't open the door to strangers. Waterways and woods were searched in attempt to find Barbara, but nothing was ever found.

I'm playing the Tier 2 scenario Shattered Kingdom on normal difficulty for reference.
I thought I was doing well. I had made it through most of the game, was besieging one of the Iron Emperor's cities. I had my own 6x6 stacks of troops around it. And then, roughly 4 turns in a row, the Iron Emperor shows up with his own 6x6 stacks. I could fight off the first 3 turns simply by slightly better unit quality, experience units, and the fact I am a human being. But the shear volume of soldiers he was sending at me was crazy. Here is what seems really weird: he was showing at the bottom of the army ranking this whole time.
My questions:

• Should I have MY economy set up to be generating 6x6 stacks of troops nearly every turn? Am I just sucking at my economy? How do you even do that?
• Or is this an AI bonus, and I just need to be able to fight them off, its a cost of doing business?
• Or something else?

I accept that I am not a good player at this game, but the ludicrously fast recruitment speed OR the fact that the AI seemed to not have to pay upkeep for all these troops OR both...I am at a loss as to what I could be doing differently to keep up. This is only tier 2 normal difficulty, I can't imagine what higher tiers/difficulty look like.

Five months down. Seven months to go until another year when we can do the whole countdown again. Until then, we have five days of government meetings that you might consider attending, participating in, or perhaps turning into a dance remix. On the latter, I can provide the soundbites if you provide the beat. Anyway, more details are in my newsletter for today, but this is a series of blurbs customized for Charlottesville.
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• Earlier this year, a man filed an application with Albemarle County to operate a firearm storage business out of his home around Free Union. The permit is for a “home occupation” which has to be granted if it meets the technical requirements. Some neighbors got wind of the application and filed a petition and made an appeal to overturn the home application. On Tuesday, the Board of Zoning Appeals will take up their request. There are limits to what local governments can do but there are always avenues for groups to try to stop something. What will happen in this case? (learn more)
• When the West Main Streetscape was a $50 million project with four phases, the University of Virginia agreed in principle to pay $5 million to the city for the one in their sphere of influence. This was also due to pressure from former Mayor Nikuyah Walker who felt that the city should not turn over Brandon Avenue to UVA for free. Now the West Main project is dead, and the UVA commitment will go to the Fontaine Avenue Streetscape and the Emmet Streetscape. Council will take a vote on this Monday. Is that all UVA will pay for on the Fontaine Avenue project? The research park will be the location for the new biotechnology institute, a major driver of traffic and growth. Is this the sort of thing that gets talked about in the closed-door meetings that used to be public meetings? (learn more about the Council meeting)
• In the future there will likely be many more people on public water in Louisa County. At some point a plan to bring water from the James River to Zion Crossroads for both Louisa and Fluvanna will be implemented. But public water supplies depend on the availability of water. What happens if there is a drought? A standard response is to impose mandatory restrictions for customers, but right now Louisa doesn’t have the ability to do that legally. So there will be a public hearing to give them the ability to do so? (learn more)
• On the same topic, there’s a public hearing Monday at Charlottesville City Council for utility rate increases. For water and sewer, increases are proposed in part to cover the cost of infrastructure projects undertaken by the Rivanna Water and Sewer Authority. The RWSA handles that and then bills both Charlottesville and the Albemarle County Service Authority for wholesale services. The city and the ACSA then charge their ratepayers a retail price. (learn more in the staff report)
• On Wednesday, the Albemarle Board of Supervisors will have a work session on recent trends in the siting and permitting for utility-scale solar projects. They’ve hired the Berkley Group to write up a report and to discuss some of the issues. This was put in play as Supervisors were considering a major facility. There’s a lot to learn in the report. (read the report)

Some one-liners:
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• Both Charlottesville and Fluvanna County have new attorneys this week.
• Council will also be asked to approve $5.3 million to purchase the county’s share of CATEC, as well as to transfer $137,500 from funding set aside for housing vouchers to allow the public housing agency to purchase a single-family road on Harris Road.
• The new owner of Duner’s wants a new porch and that will go before the Albemarle Architectural Review Board
• We’ll get more details on Albemarle’s plans to buy 462 acres near Rivanna Station.
• Will Fluvanna County go ahead with service cuts for Jaunt that correspond with Supervisors’ decision to cut funding by ten percent for FY24?

Please ask questions! I will try to steer you toward more info and provide more context. Share with friends!

This is a bit long so I’ll try to break this up into digestible parts. warning
My mom (64F) and stepdad (68M) met when they went to college (she was a freshman and he was a senior). They didn’t really date and she dropped out of the private college and went to a community college for nursing. They went on with their lives. She met and dated my dad and my dad was absent. My mom fully raised me alone. We moved to Florida from Virginia when I was 7 years old to be near my grandparents while my mom worked as a full time nurse (on call peeps would know). My relationship with my absent dad has affected me and how I have relationship with men in my life.
When I was going to college, my mom had a traveling nurse job in Massachusetts. My grandparents bought me plane ticket from Florida to Massachusetts for my spring break trip. And that’s where I met my moms new boyfriend. She found out he lived in Georgia and after she asked him to visit, he quit his CPA job and moved all of his stuff to Massachusetts. I was going through a depressing post breakup time and needed my mom. He hated and resented any time I was there. He took me around Boston (my fave city) and I had a great time, but felt something was off. My mom didn’t come because she had to work. I remember him barely talking to me the entire time. I remember we went back to the house and he told my mom he felt he was babysitting me. When I came back to Florida, I was so severely depressed from my breakup, college, and now losing my other parent, I dropped out of school after I lied to my mom I wasn’t passing (out of depression of leaving my school because she wouldn’t pay if I switched majors). And he’d use that against me and made me feel like I wasn’t anything.
I had no money, no job, an apartment I couldn’t afford. My mom let me stay in a place she was renting. I was told I needed a job from someone who didn’t have one. I thought I wasn’t enough or a good daughter anymore. I was compared to his brothers daughters. Two months into their relationship, they got married (she proposed). And then married two years later. The same year they got engaged, I met my boyfriend of 6.5 years now.
My stepdad has been very good to my mom and has treated her better than any man she dated before had. Almost to a sickening and smothering way. He would act like a saint to my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I would come back to Florida, tell my family what I witnessed with him and was told “allow your mom to be happy,” “stop being so selfish.” My mom and stepdad would stop coming to things, cancel at the most painful last minute when things were ruined if they didn’t come, or come late to the point I’d miss my mom on holidays. If my mom and I talk about memories, he’s completely not there and on his phone. He checks out when the conversation isn’t about him. If I speak to my mother (in person/on the phone) he’s right there and hears everything. He gloats all the expensive things they do together but complain if I have a birthday dinner.
My family saw it on Christmas two years ago and my aunt called my step dad out on not working when my mom was working herself to death. He got very defensive and blamed me for his anxiety for buying a house with my boyfriend (we are both in my late 20s) and my aunt for having a troubled past and clawed her way out. He was very cruel and used my mom as a way to be defended. Which he still laments on to this day.
My mom saw how he feels towards me when he didn’t do something for me to stay the night and was upset we would talk about him. She said her sweet and kind man was different. I’ve called him out on subtle things he’s done such as unfriend me on social media (which to a 28F is a massive f*** you- and he told me it wasn’t a big deal), him telling my mom they need to leave during family gatherings, him lying about helping me financially and I paid him back, him taking pride in certain things that make him look good are just to name a few things.
After being talked to see family that hasn’t been seen, my mom and stepdad will come and he will ignore everyone and tell her to hurry up with angry expressions. This happened this past weekend at my grandmother’s house and my family that isn’t around much for years, saw his behavior. He knows people he kiss their asses so they don’t see the drama that he starts himself and blames others. Everyone is seeing through his selfish behavior and the disrespect is hurting.

Hello, everyone! My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) have been together for 1.5 years now, and we're considering a significant life change: moving in together. We currently reside in the same city (City 1) in Ireland. With the possibility of moving to a new city (City 2) for my studies and work looming in the near future (SeptembeOctober), we're trying to navigate through a few concerns. I'd love to hear your advice, experiences, and wisdom regarding the following points: Our Age: We are both in our early twenties, and this is a significant step. Is moving in together at our age generally a wise decision? Should we wait until we're more established in our careers and have garnered more life experience? New City, New Environment: The new city we're planning to move to is somewhat unfamiliar to us. We have no friends or family there, which is a daunting prospect. How have you all managed to create new social circles and networks in entirely new places? Any tips for settling in comfortably? Balancing Careers and Relationship: My boyfriend has a remote tech job, making it feasible for him to move with me. But we're wondering if it's the best solution for both of us. Should we consider the alternative where he stays in City 1 while I move to City 2 for my placement and potential work afterwards? How can we make the most informed decision that is beneficial for both our careers and our relationship? Your insights, anecdotes, and advice are all greatly appreciated! Please share your wisdom to help us navigate through this crucial phase of our lives. TL;DR: We're a young couple in Ireland, ages 22 and 23, planning a significant move to a new city and potentially moving in together. We're seeking advice on whether it's the right age to live together, how to make new friends in a new city, and how to make well-informed decisions about balancing our careers with our relationship.

So I made post before I live in Illinois and im 21 living with parents and sibling who dont mask. Honestly? I have since long time ago gave up trying to convince them to mask indoors at least for their health really. I gave up. But I still feel at risk. I havent felt safe for three years now and I have no money to my name. I have been seeking remote and hybrid positions but never hear anything back or rejection emails. I have applied to in person jobs too out of desperation and no luck either besides like 3-4 interviews. This was the worst time for this to happen. I am unemployed and have an associates degree that is not useful its only an associates in general studies and I cant afford to get any other course of training right now. My parents wont help me got to back too. I want to give up im being real because even if I could move out it could take me years to save up enough money. I feel too tired to mask in my house when I mask all day when I have to go outside. I feel damn near worn down. I don't know what jobs that are covid-safe that are in person I could apply to that would help me raise enough money to move out soon? I have no friends to move in or a boyfriend. I can't seek someone to date and move in with because most people arent taking any precautions I tried I looked in apps like, tinder, and hinge, and bumble bFF for friends. I tried covidmeetups the website it dead for me. I really don't know to everyone here if im going to be able to make it out and move out before I get reinfected so many times by my family that I die by sickness or become disabled and be gaslighted by my parents more. Is there any job out there I dont know how to navigate which in-person job can be safe enough for me in city that also gets very cold in the winter? Also I live in Illinois if anyone is living there rn hmu I would like to find a least a friend who understands.

Toronto police say a man was rushed to hospital with serious injuries after a carjacking in the city’s downtown core.
Investigators say the incident occurred in the area of Bathurst Street and Adelaide Place, near Adelaide Street West, on Saturday night.
Suspects fled with the vehicle.
https://www.cp24.com/news/man-seriously-injured-after-downtown-carjacking-toronto-police-1.6426600

Husband and I just purchased a house in GR near Calvin University. Our backyard has a French drain, and we have no information regarding it. It has a thin mental plate over it, which unfortunately can be easily accessed by little kids. Should I be contacting city of GR about this drain, and how to properly secure it? Or is this something I should be contacting a landscaping company about? Thanks in advance!

Hi there,
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I live in the city near Amish country. I'm about a 20 minute drive from at least a dozen puppy mills. My partner drives an electric bike to work and found what he believed to be a male yorkie (bless his heart) deceased in a hit and run in March. He asked me if I wanted him and of course I did but I had already taken my sleeping medication and he had to get to work so she was outdoors in 45-54F temps until 8am when she was dropped off at my apartment and put on ice. Once I got her I told my partner that she was definitely some variety of shepherd mix and is a girl so I took to calling her Astolfo.
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I examined her body today and included some pics of what are the most damaged areas on her. Aside from removing from ticks and having an obviously mangled face, she looks surprisingly good. No signs of bloat or other bugs. Blood was/is fresh red. If I am able to preserve her I'd sew her eyes shut since there's no saving them and I'd also wire her jaw. I want to have her curled up like she's sleeping. Yes I am aware this is ridiculously ambitious for a first project. No I will not start with something easier. I have to help her. I hope you understand.
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Here's a link to the pictures I included. TW for the obvious. Most people don't think she's beautiful right now and that's okay. Her one ear shows some blood inside, her eyes seemed to be obliterated then frozen over, some teeth are knocked loose and her jaw looks broken. Two of her nipples look peculiar which is what I'm most concerned about being the potential early sign of decay.
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NOTE: The small teeth looking things are gravel I used to weigh down the puppy pad before I got her frozen body out there. They are not part of her body.

I am feeling desperate, and I have no idea what to do now. Ever since I made the decision of moving out and moving to a new city, it has been hell in my house.
I grew up in a Latino Evangelical household with parents from Mexico. Both my parents grew up Catholic with parents who eventually converted to Evangelism. Because they were devout Catholics, by nature they would be devout in their new faith. I grew up with the idea that premarital sex is bad. That drinking alcohol is wrong. Praying before every meal. We went to church every Sunday for years. I’m now 24, about to turn 25, and moved back home after college. I felt like moving home after college was the right thing to do, but now I question it, despite saving a lot of money. In Mexico and latin america, it is common to live at home till you get married.
I would rarely go out on weekends, spending most of my time with my parents. I would occasionally go visit my friends from college but they all live out of town, since I have no friends that live in my hometown, or no one that I am close enough to. It was harder to because they were all in committed relationships, and were far enough to only see once a month.
5 months ago, I started dating my current boyfriend, who lives an hour away from me. I began seeing him every week, some weekends I would go visit him, while some he would come visit me. He has been very supportive and there for me despite the fact that I have strict parents. Shortly after I started dating him, I decided look for a new job because I was having major issues at the job I was at. I applied to a couple of places around the area, but the place that called me back happened to be near where he lives. I took the job because it would pay me better and I had more opportunities to collaborate with my colleagues, plus it is in a city, where I am living in a small town where dreams come to die.
As soon as I told my parents, they were not very happy with the idea. They said that all the women in their family never were desperate enough to move out or to have a boyfriend. That I was going down the same path as my friends and that they wanted me to have fun in my 20s (yet they give me curfews). That I was going to ruin my life by moving to a new city just for a guy. That I’m turning away from God more each day. Since I started seeing my boyfriend, I told them I was visiting a friend each time I was going to spend the night at his place for the same reason (strict parents create sneaky children) but they recently found out that I was spending the night with him. Because my mom is super religious, she said that I was disrespecting her and our household by having premarital sex. She also hates that we sometimes get drinks when we go on dates and that she was afraid I would become like my uncles who are alcoholics. That this guy was using me and that if he had good intentions, he would’ve met them a long time ago and would visit me every single time instead of driving to him (again, I visit him more because there are more things to do where he lives and he does visit me, we just don’t hang out at my house.)
The only reason I hadn’t introduced them has been because my boyfriend has had previous bad experiences and because I didn’t feel comfortable bringing someone home until our relationship got more serious. Now that we are heading that way, I am open about it but I rather him feel more comfortable than anything. While at his house one night, my dad called me asking me to come and to put him on the phone to ask what his intentions with me are was and that he wanted to speak to him directly. I cried because I felt so much pressure and while that happened, my boyfriend comforted me and held me while I cried. He said he wasn’t worried about it because they had never met them but his intentions were to make me happy and that my parents behavior wasn’t going to change my opinion of me.
Every day has become hell living with them. I care so much what they think of me but it is becoming harder to want to be around them. I spend more time in my room and say I’m depressed. I’m depressed and anxious because of them. Mom says she is sad with the decisions I have made and it is breaking her heart. Part of me doesn’t want to spend the night at my boyfriends anymore while I’m still living at home, but that’s giving in to my parents. She tracks my location on Find My Friends and track almost all of my moves. The only people that support my move are my boyfriend and my two best friends. I am choosing myself and all of a sudden, my parents believe I am going to ruin my life over a boy. While their intentions are valid, it’s how they are handling that makes me sad.
I’m over it and feel sick to my stomach. I am considering going through therapy once I move out after all of these events.
tl;dr My parents don’t like that I am moving out and think I am going to make a bad decision by doing so

Species: cat
Age: 19
Sex/Neuter status: F neutered
Breed: no breed
Body weight: 2.5kg
History: GI lymphoma not confirmed, too old to do biopsy. She got steroids and she improved for 2 months but then got really bad, couldn't eat for 2 days, puked everything out. Got chlorambucil + anti nausea drug and improved. She has taken 2 doses so far, getting her third next week.
Clinical signs: she eats mostly well now and only puked a couple times the last week's, but yowls usually in the morning, we don't know if it's pain or for what reason, she stops yowling if we go to the same room she is in.
My country only has 1 vet that specialices in cat oncology and it's in a different city, and we didn't have a very good experience with them. We plan to continue the chemo (we are not giving her steroids right now because her liver has a weird shape) as long as her QoL remains, but we don't know when should she get another ultrasound to see if she's getting better or if the chemo is working? The vet didn't tell us anything so we don't know and taking the cat in a 3-4 hour round trip is too stressful to her, so we plan to take her near here but the vets don't know how to treat lymphoma properly, they only prescribed chlorambucil after we asked the oncologist to contact them and tell them to prescribe it basically

So I made post before I live in Illinois and im 21 living with parents and sibling who dont mask. Honestly? I have since long time ago gave up trying to convince them to mask indoors at least for their health really. I gave up. But I still feel at risk. I havent felt safe for three years now and I have no money to my name. I have been seeking remote and hybrid positions but never hear anything back or rejection emails. I have applied to in person jobs too out of desperation and no luck either besides like 3-4 interviews. This was the worst time for this to happen. I am unemployed and have an associates degree that is not useful its only an associates in general studies and I cant afford to get any other course of training right now. My parents wont help me got to back too. I want to give up im being real because even if I could move out it could take me years to save up enough money. I feel too tired to mask in my house when I mask all day when I have to go outside. I feel damn near worn down. I don't know what jobs that are covid-safe that are in person I could apply to that would help me raise enough money to move out soon? I have no friends to move in or a boyfriend. I can't seek someone to date and move in with because most people arent taking any precautions I tried I looked in apps like, tinder, and hinge, and bumble bFF for friends. I tried covidmeetups the website it dead for me. I really don't know to everyone here if im going to be able to make it out and move out before I get reinfected so many times by my family that I die by sickness or become disabled and be gaslighted by my parents more. Is there any job out there I dont know how to navigate which in-person job can be safe enough for me in city that also gets very cold in the winter? Also I live in Illinois if anyone is living there rn hmu I would like to find a least a friend who understands.

If I remember correctly, Shadow ran off when I was seven. The story I always heard about how he came into our lives was that my dad brought him home from a coworker who had tried to train him up as a hunting dog. Apparently Shadow didn't display the correct instincts. It makes sense — he was a husky / labrador mix, so he leaned a little bit into the willful side of his lineage.
Everyone else remembers Shadow as the prototypical family dog: loyal, loving, protective. But I have different memories.
Even though Shadow was a family dog, it was pretty clear from early on that he was most strongly connected to me. The thing is, I was always afraid of him.
He'd follow me all around the house nudging me this way and that if I wasn't doing what he wanted. I didn't want to be alone in my room with him, but he always managed to corner me in there, and wouldn't leave when I told him to.
More than once I'd do something bad and I'd swear it was because he told me to do it. I'd always chalked it up to my childhood imagination, but I remember specifically once when I was maybe five years old and my sister was standing at the top of the stairs he told me to push her down.
"No. I won't," I said.
My sister who was a few years older said, "Won't what?"
Then Shadow stared at me and I heard his gruff voice speaking. "If you don't push her down the stairs I'm going to go into her room tonight while she's sleeping, and I'm going to rip her throat out."
My sister didn't get seriously hurt, but she did take on quite a few bruises, and I think that's when our relationship started to deteriorate. It's never really recovered.
I got in a lot of trouble, rightfully. And my parents kept a better watch over me for quite a while. Of course they didn't believe me when I told them Shadow made me do it. Who would?
"You're going to bang your head against this shelf until your parents come to check on you," the dog told me.
"I don't want to."
"I can hear them downstairs right now. I can smell their blood. Do you know how easy it would be for me to kill them? Maybe I'll kill your mom first. Everyone will think you did it since they all think you're a little serial killer already. Then, after someone takes you away, I'll kill your father."
I nearly knocked myself out banging my head against the cabinet.
Shadow liked to come with us on errands. Everyone that saw him said he was the most beautiful dog. “Majestic,” they say. “Gorgeous dog that one,” or “Where did you get him? I’d love to have a dog like that.” And to be fair, he was always the perfect dog for everyone else: calm, well mannered, came when called.
We'd be at the ice cream shop and all the teens working there would crowd around him to give him pets and a complimentary bowl of whipped cream.
When they praised him he’d look over at me with his beautiful, dichromatic eyes — one blue, one brown — as if to say, “See, nobody will ever believe you.”
Nobody believed me about anything.
I guess when I was young I would tell really fanciful stories about when I used to be an adult. I had this whole life built up with a whole other family and career in the post office, and once I told my parents about it enough I think they decided that I was simply one of those kids who couldn't tell reality from imagination. They got mad at me with how long it went on.
My mom tells me once, specifically, I'd awakened her sobbing saying "The bad man. He kiwwwed me. He bwoke in the house and kiwwwed me with a gun."
Apparently she had to be up early for work that morning, so she was especially angry. "It's just a dream, silly bug," she said, practically dragging me back to my room.
I was a little older when I started hearing the babies crying outside. Not every night, but maybe once every couple weeks. I'd awaken in the middle of the night, afraid. Then I'd hear it, a baby crying outside.
My mom threatened to lock me in my room at night if I didn't stop waking her up every time I had a nightmare. And where had that dog gone, she thought if he was in the room I'd feel protected and wouldn't have to wake her up every time I had a nightmare.
I was at brunch with my mom recently when the topic came up about how I was always so imaginative as a child, and she filled me in on some information I wasn't aware of. When I was being awakened by those crying babies there had actually been a string of child abductions in our city that have gone unsolved to this day. Apparently it drove a bit of a satanic panic in our community that escalated until a mob from a church tried to burn down the house of a comic shop owner who sold dungeons and dragons materials.
My mom always thought that I'd heard some snippets of the news and decided to make up a story about it.
That's also part of why they were so thankful for Shadow's connection to me. They knew as long as he was by my side nothing bad could happen to me.
Then one day he just disappeared.
I was about seven years old and hadn't heard him speak for months, and he seemed less and less interested in me.
My mom drove around searching every night for weeks. We put up fliers on posts and fences, called the pound repeated, and did everything we could to find him. But he was just gone.
My family thought someone probably grabbed him from our yard since he was such a gorgeous dog.
From then on I'd had a more or less normal childhood.
I'd forgotten all about him.
Then he showed up inside my house today. I was walking upstairs to check on my son who was napping in his crib, and there he was in the room, gazing at my child.
Every hair on my body stood on end.
It's definitely him. I even found an old family photograph and compared it to him. But how can a dog be nearly forty years old, and how did he find me after all these years?
My wife thinks I'm overreacting. It's just some dog that happens to look exactly like him. But the way he was looking at my son, that everyone always thought was protective, it's the same exact way he used to look at me.
I think there is something evil in that dog, and I don't want my son raised with an animal like that.

Not really sure what kind of advice I'm even looking for right now. I (20m) got kicked out from my dad/stepmom's home last year due to religious issues. I had to move cities overnight and have been staying in different places with my mom since then.
Even though I've been living with her, it's never really been permanent or proper. She won't let me change my address or be on the lease at these places. I'm not even allowed to receive mail at them.
At this new place, we rented personally by some word of mouth recommendation from one of my mom's customers. The whole thing has been kinda sketch, but it's a decent place. Problem is, the rent lady is just out of her mind. This isn't some professional rent organization or anything, just an individual person. She had a lawyer write her a lease. And now she's using that same lawyer to attempt to serve an eviction notice.
Their reasoning is that it's because I'm staying here without her approval and that I'm not on the lease. It was never a requirement, and my mom explained the situation upfront that I would be staying there before signing.
My mom got a note saying a lawfirm attempted to have mail delivered today while she was gone and has to go pick it up from the post office now. Highly suspected that it's an eviction notice.
My mom might try to sue for unlawful eviction. But she doesn't want to rent again, and quite frankly neither of us really have enough money to put down on anything bc we have both been financially struggling. She says she wants to just get an RV to live out of but I'm not sure how likely that is to fall through.
Regardless, I'm trying to plan it through as the worst case scenario which is that we part ways and both of us become separately homeless living out of our own personal vehicles. If something better comes our way, fine. But I guess I just have to prepare for the worst.
Additional info: I live in florida. I have a job but its damn near impossible to make enough to live on my own out here. My own bills/debt (not utilities) cost $800/m and average rent here is $1500/m. I only make about $1500/m to begin with. I am also trying really hard to get back into college full-time this upcoming school year. My older sister has mentioned previously I can stay with her temporarily if something happens, but she has her own life and child and limited space so I can't stay long term.
Again idk what advice I'm looking for honestly. I'm just so lost right now. Anything helps I guess

I know we're all supposed to sympathize and excuse their behavior because they're down on their luck, but let me tell you what it's like to live someplace where they are common.
These assholes dig through dumpsters and the stuff they don't want they just scatter on the ground and leave for someone else to clean up. In my town everyone has to lock up their fucking garbage with enclosures or pad locks to prevent these messes.
The trash the homeless do want they take back to their camp sites and pile up by the side of the road. They never use any of it because they're demented hoarders. They just pile it up making breeding places for bugs and rats. Then when they move on do you think they collect all that shit and put it back in receptacles? Fuck no, they leave it for someone else to clean up again. It's by the side of the road, it's in the hedges along the road, it's on the sidewalks so you have to walk around it.
And it's fuck near impossible to get the god damned authorities to do anything about it all because they're afraid of seeming to be mean to the poor, innocent homeless, so these people just keep trashing our neighborhoods and no one will make them leave or clean their messes up. We had this one guy who would pass out on the sidewalk with his pants down around his ankles and it took over a week to get anyone from the city to respond to that.
Think I'm being too harsh? I have had these insane bastards threaten me with violence four times while I was just walking around my own god damned neighborhood. For a while they were putting their tents on the sidewalk and not letting anyone pass. Police only FINALLY responded to that when parents complained that the fucking bums were not letting children walk to school in the mornings. They've killed plants at the park by pulling limbs off of bushes to make larger places to sleep. They've damaged buildings and burned down road side trees with camp fires that got out of control.
And today I discovered yet another camp site and tried to report it, except the fucking online report form is not working. It takes 6 months or more to get a response to these god damned complaint forms at the best of times but now I can't even file one of the fucking things. The last time some bastard set up camp on this spot it took TWO FUCKING YEARS to get the authorities to chase his ass out of there, by which time the trash he was collecting made two piles each the size of a min-van.
I'm sorry they're in the state they're in, but that shouldn't give them the right to fuck things up for everyone else.

Hey guys I just took an altius fl 5 and feel pretty discouraged. I got a 498 it felt sooo hard 😭😭 but the week before I took a blueprint fl and got 503. The last aamc fl I took was a couple months back and got a 499. I will be taking aamc fl 4 next week but I feel like my score is all over the place and no where near my goal (510) I test in about 3 weeks and have no clue what to do moving forward. Any advice is appreciated.