Good morning tuesday funny

In my opinion it isn’t necessarily unwillingness to change or want to break barriers of past and childhood trauma that seems like the daunting task. Maybe for someone whose never known how the full magnitude of the riight embrace reeling them in and allowing safety to encompass this unraveling…
It was unwillingness it was perpetual enabling factors — both parental and social. Ive sacrificed everything for the sake of my relationships, something I hope I learn from. All of this only to end up evolving further than we were intended to. Alone. Looking back, and seeing they’d turned another direction long before I was allowed to notice. It’s an awful set back— hoping those going through this or something similar have a support system to hold them together through it. I’ve bled for my relationships, fought tooth in and nail just to realize I was only fighting myself… the ultimate battle. I’m really alone in this.
And I’m trying really hard not to be horrified. I’ve never fallen this hard for anyone, I’ve never allowed myself to be this open— this wound is so sore and gnawing so deep— you really did a number on me. Definitely caught me off guard, when I was least expecting or capable even. This truth is unsettling.. I could’ve gone my whole life not feeling this and been better for it. I would rather never have shed those tears, never trusted such deceiving (L)eyes… I will feel this for a very long time.. I don’t think pain like this goes away. I don’t know.. much. Or anything really. I know fucming nothing. Purely intuitive emotion here..
I need a break from life, I am almost reaching the point of enduring for too long. You gave me everything I needed, I thought for us to get better. I hope the next one, appreciates the ways I bettered you. I hope they look you in your eyes —— as cold as glaciers, from what they’ve seen, before and during our time. I hope you’re cherished so deeply that it shatters the glaze cover around your heart and any will to stay guarded. I remember when you’d drift off into fantasy land, you started doing that more often after a very long while. If I really allow myself— I should’ve known.
I miss kissing the shyness out of your eyes, waking up groggy and confused— just to reach for your embrace. These are our memories. When you’d laugh that flirtatious way, beckoning for a kiss but not daring to ask— sheepish boy! Oh how I adore you… you’re are gentleness and strength personified. To a degree I’ve never allowed myself to see. Our laughter echoing the halls at all hours, the music you’d let me play which you used to love… stopped being true sooner than I realized.
You knew… and you didn’t care enough. Because sexual convenience was more alluring than the quality of the person could offer? Is that it? Am I sensing this correctly. Everything starts off nice, the amount of times you’d push me away jokingly, because when itd be down time for us after work, I’d be more enthralled by you than anything you could possible display on that damn sad TV… Why was it worth it to keep me in the dark? something around you weren’t mind body and soul choosing.. why jam it in even more? Why now? Why this way, so ice ice ice cold. Never again will I enjoy love without safety. Never again, this naive and unafraid. So willing , and ready. I would have to walk into the treatment i seek. In which case its probably celibacy from here on out! I’d have a much easier time accepting that as the most probable result if I had support . I was there for your entire family when they asked anything of me. Never said no.
Granted i was dealing with abusing my medication at the time… taking it at odd times instead of as needed. You know how much I’d lost…you held me together during that absolutely abysmal process of both morning and running from the feeling. You held me together just to dismantle me all over again, but didn’t forget to burn the edges so the pieces wouldn’t fit. You win. Hope that feels good enough to last a lifetime. Hope it’s something new you can use to your advantage until they’re more trouble than you barged for. Any less than perfect Pristine, obedient, successful, ambitious, radically healed and perfect coping mechanism to adversity. They probably have a much better shot oddly enough. Because they’re not me. I’m not worth anything to anyone. Anyth I need to write an apology meter to myself after this…
Maybe timing plays a bigger role than we think— I just remember sharing with you how timing was always on our side. If this becomes permanent, I wish I could say I will forgive and all will be said and done. I will try, but I have so many doubts there suffocating me.. of being able to set myself for further disappointment. This painstaking reality really wasn’t on my time this chapter.. I’m hoping I carry the awareness of knowing when
Please pray for me— I am free falling alone. No one should have to lose their entire support system in the manner and the time that this has happened.. pray for my strength pray for healing to fund me within meditation — the wrong love to be rendered from the icicles in my veins. Infectious. Corrupting.
Now I understand, you never let me walk away the way I desperately tried because the wanted the upper hand. But for what? I feel like this is another one of situations where we both lose…
Edit: I’m falling into it now, trying. in and out hoping it’s permanent but timing isn’t on my side— bye.

Chapter 1: the passing
It was around 4 a.m. I've been awake for a bit over 24 hours, in total depression. I had just lost one of my best friends in a car accident, and I was to blame. My friend and I were drifting in the desert during the night, until suddenly a camel came in my way, and I crashed into it. I woke up around 24 hours ago with a mild concussion, many bruises all over my body, and a few broken bones. However, my friend wasn't so lucky. When the camel shattered my windshield, a big chunk of glass went through his chest, resulting in near instant death. I was in a coma for almost a week after the crash, and when I awoke, my hospital room was completely empty, with not even a single flower in sight.I attempted to get up, but was physically unable to do so. The room was the most dull and traumatizing place a person could be in. The way that the room felt so artificial, from the recliner they put in front of me to the taste of the water, felt unreal. There weren't any windows either, so I had to just stay in the artificial light that barely lit up the room. The bed itself felt too hard in some places and too soft in others.So it was just a room full of discomfort. I just laid there on my bed for a few minutes until a doctor came into the room and started to greet me. He started taking tests, checking my pulse, and doing all the doctorly things a doctor would do. However, the time for him to tell me the bad news had come. "Good morning, Abdulsalam, My name is Mansour Al Zamil, and I have been your doctor for the past six days while you were in a coma." The doctor had said I had stopped breathing, and I could feel my throat start to close up. Tears started to blur my vision. "I'm sorry to be the one to inform you of this, but your friend Sami passed away during the car crash. His parents wanted..." I couldn't hear anymore. The tears stopped coming, and my vision was being blurred by something other than the tears that had been pouring out of my eye sockets, to the point where you could hear the tears start dripping on the floor. Even though i had been laying down, i could feel my knees start to buckle, and suddenly the room temperature went up by around 30 degrees, to the point where I started to sweat. Suddenly my doctor jumped from fear, but I didn’t understand why, I looked to the left and saw the door open up, and the outline of a person since my vision was still blurred. “You fucking psychopath!” Shouted the person in a womanly voice “ you’re the reason that my cousin is dead! Why would you be doing something so dangerous like that and risking his life!” I had lost my voice. It was as if I was in a dream, where I couldn’t speak or move. I was just able to stare. Stare at the person who was shouting and crying. Stare at the person who had lost a beloved one. Stare at the person who fell onto the floor crying. Stare at the result of my actions. And stare at the result of my mistake. I started to gain my vision back, and I could see one of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. Even though this wasn’t the time or the place, I couldn’t help but stare in awe. As soon as I saw her face I regained the feelings in my leg, regained my sight, and i regained my voice. The I only thing I could utter was- “I’m sorry” “I wish you could have died instead!” She said before running out of the room I didn’t know what to tell her. I had done a horrible act. I was the reason that Adam had died, and the reason for her depression and her current state. I didn’t deserve to talk, I didn’t deserve to think, I didn’t even deserve to live. Ever since I got the news of Adam’s death, I wished I could’ve died instead of him, and obviously every one I knew agreed with me since no one had came to visit me in the six days that I was at the hospital.

Hey All
I think its time to make this post. I haven't been here in probably 9 months as it was a place that had begun to bring back memories of a life I desperately wanted to forget. I had an old account that I used to post and comment here often, if the mods or anyone else would like me to verify my story, please DM me.
I tested positive for covid 10/04/2020. The acute phase passed but the following symptoms did not:

• POTS
• Headaches
• Burning head and face (my worst symptom)
• Severe head pressure
• Dizziness
• Muscle pains
• Extreme taste and smell distortion
• Extreme fatigue
• Debilitating dream like state of brain fog.

I am sure I am forgetting others but there were my worst ones. I had probably 8 months of 0 relief then a roller coaster of good and mad days. Literally hundreds of relapses. For the past few months I have been normal. I know what you are thinking, 'just wait, it will return'. But not this time. I have been on a very steady track of improvement and am very in tuned with my body at this point. I know what normal feels like again. I dont doubt I will have some bad days again here and there, but who doesnt.
Nothing helped my recovery (that I know of) other than time and calming my nervous system with things like ice baths and meditation. I tried every DR and every supplement known to man.
Honestly during my sick days I thought this post would be longer and that I would be thrilled to write it for you, but now that the time has come, I mostly want to get it over with. Typing this post feels like falling asleep and going back into a bad dream.
I am tearing up a bit. I love you all so much. Impossible for me to communicate to you all how much Covid wrecked my life but I dont have you. You all understand. In the worst of living, joy is found in the small things. Keep fighting, enjoy that morning tea and the sound of the birds. Remember the birds always chirping when you were a kid? They are still out there, you just have to listen.
I will never forget you all. You lives are unimaginably hard, and you're still here. Fighting.

Hi all - Is this any good? Does it feel amateurish? How can it be improved? Any feedback appreciated.
I stood in the street, behind a tree, as I watched the living-room’s open window. The curtain net fluttered with a light summer’s breeze. It’s a funny thing to be stalking your own home.
It wasn’t long before I heard their laughter, my two little girls: Lily and Olive. Your childrens’ joy shouldn’t puncture you with pain, but it did. A searing hurt bolted down to my heart.
How could they be laughing? How could they be happy when their mother was locked up in a mental institution? At least, I should have been. Earlier that day, I’d lifted the keys from Tony, a guard at Perry Hill Psychiatric Unit. I'd ridden the bus south, paying the fare with the lucky £1 my mother had gifted me for my eighth birthday.
‘Stop,’ one of the girl's shout spilled out into the street. I couldn’t tell if it was Olive or Lily. But I thought it was Lily for she had a mouth on her from the day she came out. You couldn’t blame me for not knowing who said it, it had been three years since I’d seen the two.
My husband John, ex-husband I should say, would be in there somewhere, probably working on a book. He was a writer of stories, or as I like to say a creator of fiction. Some of the fiction which he creates is only spoken though, like when he told the doctor I’d been speaking to invisible people. What a ridiculous thing to say. Helen was not invisible, far from it. She was huge, the biggest person I ever saw. I would step into the dining room, and there she was, all scrunched up in the corner of the room. Poor girl sat on the floor with her head bowed as the back of her thick neck pressed against the ceiling. Her black hair draped over her body as she hugged her knees. If she had stretched her legs, her feet would have pocked holes in the far wall. And we didn’t have money to fix it every other day. John had only published one book, and for all the hoopla, and partying we had done during its release, sales were low. Helen was just too big so she just sat there. She would not even reach for the jug of tea I would bring her as I sat for my cup. I thought a cup too small for her hands. Not even a custard cream biscuit could entice her, and once those delights touched the air, you couldn’t put them back in the tin, so it was more for me.
The girl always wore that white dress. It looked like she’d left a man at the alter, ran across a pond, in which she would have tripped before clawing out onto the muddy banks. Her black hair gleamed wet and hung over most of her pale face. She never spoke with her mouth. It was her black eyes which told me of her pain. She had been hurt, bad, I damn near know it.
During some evenings, the two of us would just sit there watching a game show on the television. She liked it - I could see her peering from between her clumps of hair. I did miss that poor girl when I locked up.
I thought I would check on her once I got in the house that afternoon.

Howdy everyone! I hope you're all doing well! Today was quite slow but a few things happened! So I started my morning with some breakfast and studying for my psychology exam tomorrow, not anything super interesting. I've been quite exhausted today so I didn't go to the woods like I wanted to. However, I stayed in and decided to play some games and it was really fun! I met some really sweet people playing dead by daylight! I also started thinking that I might be open to poly relationships, however what I'd want out of one would be super specific so I think I just like the idea of a poly relationship in my mind than actually in practice. I also am super obsessive and would thrive much better if I have a gf to myself 🥹 I also made some pizza for dinner and it was heavenly. I wished I had someone to share it with, and watch stuff with at the same time 😔
The important stuff: while I didn't go out today, i did start planning for the upcoming pride parade and I'm really hoping that I can maybe meet some new people there. Another thing is that I'm going into the city again tomorrow for college, since I commute to college. And there's this one super cute trans goth girl that I see at the train station sometimes. I haven't seen her in a while and I've never spoken to her but seeing her makes the trip to the station less frustrating. I know that she's acknowledged my dorky, gay ass because she's winked at me and waved before, i thought she was doing it to someone else, but she directly did it to me. so we're both atleast aware of eachother but I want to work up the courage to talk to her. She takes a different train to me tho so I don't know when the best time would be. Everytime I see her, is when I'm getting into the station and her train is literally just arriving or very close. So I've never had the chance to cross platforms and talk to her. But maybe one day. She's so pretty it makes me nervous, I'm pre everything but I think I pass quite well with makeup and my clothes and I've done some basic voice training but my goddess. She makes me so nervous and weak at the knees I don't feel good enough to talk to her. Maybe some day I'll get my chance 🥹 Finally, with My exams this week, I'm hoping to have some friends come over for a sleepover this weekend to celebrate them being over. The potential for this is we may go out , maybe to this one LGBTQ+ club my friend works at and I may be dreaming a little too much but I hope to see her there. Anyway, more interesting updates are coming, but right now I'm at the beginning of the journey and I hope you all stick with me till the going gets good! Till then, Talk to you later! 🩵

curious to know who everyone’s unpopular “favorites” are and why?!
i’ll go first!
kaycee - a lot of people don’t like her because she is “boring and overrated”, but i’ve always like kaycee and upon rewatches she is a beast, she is loyal, and she is actually pretty funny. she just isn’t about all the drama.
kam - i think this is just a case of if she was a man she would be like able. she is strong, assertive, knows what she is capable of, confident, natural leader, and never backs down to anyone.
Jay - i think he is just an easy scapegoat for people, but i’ve been watching him since survivor and i think he just seems so genuine and if given the chance i think he would KILL it.
Josh - 💀 now i know what you are thinking… but i don’t think Josh is that bad. he is overly emotional at times and has a short temper, but he is very loyal and often times the fights he gets into is because people are purposely trying to get a rise out of him or because he is defending someone. i see he has been working out hard and i’m excited to see him come back.
ashley - again i think she is a bit overly emotional and short tempered at times, but i don’t think she gets credit for how strong of a competitor she is! i always find myself rooting for her.
aneesa - i simply don’t think she gets the respect she deserves from other challengers and fans. yeah, she should probably retire now, but the disrespect astounds me sometimes. she seems like such a genuinely nice and loyal/good person and may not be winning any finals but she is isn’t a horrible competitor upon rewatch.
amanda - i just don’t think she is as bad as everyone says. i think she is just isn’t willing to be someone that can be pushed around and she has no filtedoesn’t let anyone talk badly about heher friends.
just for fun, some popular competitors i’m not a fan of - bananas, kelly anne (depending on the episode lol), camilla.
don’t go too hard in the comments 🫢

Ok so, last week me and my partner of a year split up but he called it a “break” and assured me we’d get back together shortly. But this whole week I’ve been so stressed about it whilst he’s doing fine, going out with friends and ignoring me. We’re still in contact… vaguely. He will send me a good morning message, few messages through out the day and then a goodnight text, maybe a call. I care about him, deeply and still love him a lot but there is a little voice at the back of my head telling me that he’s just stringing me along and that I get my hopes up for no reason. I’ve only started detaching myself since yesterday. It’s going very well now and I’m doing way better. But there is this one guy I’ll call him s. We’ve been talking since mine and my partners “break” and he’s really starting to grow on me. He makes me think that maybe my former partner wasn’t as nice or as charming as I thought he was, and that I deserved better. S is a super nice guy too, he’s super sweet, talks to me often and has even agreed to see me in person to develop a better connection. I don’t know if I’m moving way too fast, if I’m only doing this because I’m still emotionally attached and grieving my former partners distance. I feel like I’m doing the wrong thing. But at the same time my former partner hurt me so bad as he was a liar, and he always used to ditch me to be with friends and drink. I really like s, I see us being together and me falling in love with him. But I also still love my former partner. I just don’t think I see us working out anymore. I don’t want to pick. I could be selfish and have both but I’d hate if someone did that to me and I don’t want to make someone feel like that. I think I’ll see how this goes before I take drastic measures 😂

Hello there! Hope you are having wonderful morning/afternoon/evening so far! Let's have some nice conversation to end our weekend with, should we!
I would like to meet new people here, both for the new friendships and potential relationship if it clicks and we vibe together!
About me: I'm 27 years old/M/single based in Central Europe, 185cm(6"1ft) tall, brown hair, brown eyes. Working in finance as an accountant. Love doing sports, starting with football, volleyball, golf.. cooking(do you enjoy learning new stuff to cook, we can learn together!), travelling, watching movies, listening to music, going to the gym! We can talk about our hobbies in detail here, I would like to know about yours as well! I would consider myself positive, supportive, romantic, protective and loyal kind of a guy, loyalty means everything to me. Also to note, I'm an animal person, have one cat myself!
Something about you: I'm looking for someone who is genuine, respectful, loyal. It would be nice to have someone with similar hobbies but not neccesary. Someone who is able to hold conversation, who enjoys being given attention and being checked on during the day. Location not important as if it clicks, I'm willing to make things work and possibly relocate.
Did I catch your interest and maybe do you enjoy good morning/night messages? Let me know, it will be my pleasure to get to know you!
PS. I don't mind staying up later if there is someone nice to talk to

This is a long one, I never post on Reddit but genuinely I don’t know what else to do.
I went to a local 2 year community college after graduating in 2022. My college was completely paid for through financial aid, and even if it wasn’t, my parents wouldn’t pay for it. My dad couldn’t afford it and though my mom had the ability to, she made it very clear she had no intentions of helping me out with college from the get go.
The issue started in the fall of 2022. I was in four classes, two in person, one hybrid, and one online. I did good for a few weeks but quickly the workload became too much for me to handle and I just shut down. I was working part time and was dealing with a lot of family drama with my mom and her husband and I just couldn’t handle it. Looking back, I could’ve done a lot more. There was a point in the semester where I didn’t even check for assignments or anything. It’s embarassing to admit but there was just something stopping me mentally from doing it. I ended up with a warning, meaning I could return for the spring semester with my fafsa but I had to raise my GPA. I decided not to tell my parents about the probation because I genuinely planned on raising my GPA and fixing things. In the spring, I was enrolled in four in person classes. On Mondays, I was on campus from 8:30-5:30 in back to back classes. Wednesday’s, I was there 8:30-2:40 also in back to back classes. The rest of the week I was working, maybe about 15-20 hours a week. At this point, I had enough of what was going on with my mom and her husband and decided to live full time with my dad. It was really emotionally draining for me. I won’t get into details here but it was a lot. I also got into drinking with my friends on our days off. As the semester went on, I just lost touch. I guess it was a mix of everything with my family, long days on campus, working, and then wanting to be with my friends. I fully understand and admit that I could’ve done all these things and still succeeded anyways. I’m not trying to make excuses, just explaining the circumstances around what was going on.
That being said, I knew that I had to raise my GPA or risk losing my FAFSA. It stressed me out a lot but i still chose to skip and not do assignments. I really wish I had a decent explanation for why. I don’t know why I shut down when things get difficult. Everyone I’ve talked to about this says it was just burnout but it doesn’t feel that way. I know I had a lot going on but I still feel like I was just lazy. The semester went on and I didn’t raise my GPA. In May, my dad sat me down and asked me honestly if I was going to class. I told him no, and that I was thinking about taking time off. We made an agreement that while I wasn’t in school I would work full time and help with bills. At this point, I wasn’t sure if I would be suspended academically, but I knew that if I was, I would just be suspended for the summer semester and would be able to return in the fall assuming I could regain my FAFSA. I told my dad that I wanted to take the fall semester off to work and decide on a new major, he said that he didn’t agree but that he supported me and loved me anyways. Shorty after we had this talk, I received an email just like the one I had received in December informing me of my academic probation. It struck me as weird, because I was already on probation and my first warning, therefore the next step would be suspension and losing my FAFSA. I knew in the back of my mind this was some mistake on the colleges part, and that I was on suspension and would be losing my FAFSA. But I held onto hope that maybe I was wrong and had another chance at fixing things. I decided not to tell my dad, as he never knew that I was on probation to begin with. It was probably a good couple weeks before I received another email stating that the previous information was a mistake, I was on academic suspension for the summer and my FAFSA would not be reinstated. I was upset but I knew it was coming. I decided that I wasn’t going to tell my dad, as he already knew I was taking time off. I was going to handle everything myself, appeal my FAFSA and hope I get it back. And in the meantime, hold up my part of the agreement and work full time. I was also informed that I had to pay back part of my FAFSA in order to re enroll, but figured that working full time I would be able to take care of it myself. I did feel guilty about hiding it from him, but I was in so deep I didn’t feel like I could come clean. My dad and I are very close. He has always had my back and supported me and I didn’t want to disappoint him. In my mind, I was an adult and it was my mistakes to fix, and I had planned on fixing them.
This morning, my dad came into my room, visibly angry, and said we needed to talk. He said he was going to give me one shot to be honest about what was going on with school and I told him everything. He said he already knew, that this morning my mom had received a letter addressed to me that informed her of the academic suspension. He is pissed and rightfully so. He said he’s disappointed about school, but more upset that I lied to him. And he’s completely right. He said his first thought was to sell my car that’s in his name and let me figure it out for myself, talking about kicking me out. He asked me a bunch of questions about what happened and I told him honestly. I didn’t tell him about the drinking, but everything else I came clean about. He said everyone else in my family is pissed, and that apparently they told him that they thought I was going down this path, but he defended me to them. It was really upsetting to hear but I deserve to hear it. I have let him down so much and he doesn’t deserve it at all. He told me he wasn’t sure how he planned on punishing me, but that I wasn’t allowed to go out with my friends and I’d only be allowed to go back and forth to work. I will also have to find a full time job as soon as possible, but I was already looking for one. I really don’t know where to go from here. I know this is all my fault, and it’s all a consequence of my own actions, but I don’t know what else to do. I had it really good and I fucked everything up. I don’t think my dad or anyone else in my family will ever be able to trust me again. Im lucky he’s even letting me live here. I don’t know how to make things right and I don’t know what I should do. There’s a lot of detail I’m leaving out, so if I need to elaborate on anything I will.

TL;DR: Partner and I are both ADHD and our adhd life coping mechanisms are not working anymore... how do we restructure our life and household? Looking for advice on how to even think it through.
I was that weird "gifted kid" my whole life. I got through college with a dual BS in mathematics and BA in English lit/writing and a minor in physics from a top 10 university. I have always been a swimmer with absolutely no land-based athletic ability haha and I was coping with stress by exercising like 4 hours a day 5 days a week and an hour or so on the other days. Healthy coping mechanisms haha never met her.
When I graduated and went to work full time, life was suddenly 100x harder at least. My physical health problems started presenting at this point too. I had moved all the way across the country so I was just fumbling through it alone haha. I made it work and my career went on a (successful) roller coaster (data analytics and engineering) until 2021 when I lost my job. That's a long story of me changing positions, covid, 5 managers quitting, chronic health problems, and ableism but I'm also able to admit that I was not a very good program manager so that was a bad fit position.
It took a year to get my physical health under control enough to get a job. I have a job, it's been about 8 months now, another data / architecture tech job at a start up. It's a lot of work and kinda stressful but I do really like it. I'm still quite chronically struggling with my health (lol Chronic) so I have extremely little energy outside of my 8 hour work day. I work from home 6am-2pm ish (time zones make it early).
When I wasn't working, I was able to dedicate more time and energy to running the household and supporting my partner, who is also a super adhd software developer. He hasn't found any meds that help him but he's also really bad at taking meds and he struggles a LOT with insomnia and sleep inertia - waking him up is a great feat of strength.
This man TRIES so hard. If he was doing this stuff, not getting up in the morning, not always doing his work on time, not following through on chores, and not trying, we would have a big problem, I wouldn't be okay with that. But hand to God he tries so hard. I help him a LOT to the point that I'm afraid I'm kind of a crutch, and I'm not a good crutch lol.
My biggest issues are with getting emotionally overwhelmed and having meltdowns (yeah my psych thinks I'm probably autistic too) or being snappy. I have trouble paying attention which frustrates him when he needs my help with a house project or whatever. I have trouble when my routine is disrupted. I have trouble starting and finishing things. I'm extremely sensitive to criticism and I don't want to be.
Sometimes our coping mechanisms conflict, like when I want to have some item like a heating pad in multiple locations so that I have it where I am without having to go get it, but he wants things to have a place where they go, so the heating pads being scattered is stressful. (Heating pad isn't a great example because he gets why I want one in every room lol but other stuff I can't currently call to mind. Random bottles of aleve and benadryl. Bandaid. Papers and pens. Etc.)
We're in a place now where I work a very demanding 8-9 hour day and then require a nap due to my fatigue (work in progress). I work entirely remote. He is a hybrid but mostly remote software developer on a pretty big and well known (to some people) project. He likes his team and wants to keep his job, but he just had a really rough quarter working with a different manager (not his) and getting a bad performance review as a result. Currently he spends a lot of time in adhd paralysis land scrolling YouTube and reddit (but not in a toxic manosphere way lol he's a bisexual vegan feminist), so he's not doing his work or house projects and he just gets more and more stressed as it continues.
I know that (a) my rest and naps are not "free time" because it's required of me and (b) adhd paralysis is also not "free time." But it results in me packing so much work into my actual free time and feeling like he has all this free time that he's not using to help. I know it's not that simple but hey feelings.
We have to figure out. Everything. How do we keep our house functioning and clean. How do we support him in getting up and moving in the morning. How do we set up our house to meet our needs? I need just any advice on how to even think it through.

Hi all,
I run mostly LPS with a couple SPS frags. I'm installing a RODI system Tuesday because I finally realized how many phosphates are in the dechlorinated tap water. My bad..
I want to switch from my random assortment of tests to Hanna because I just suck at reading colors.
What I'm thinking about getting: Nitrate high range +- 2ppm Phosphate ULR +-.02 or something I forget. But doesn't matter because 95% buying this one because I can't read the colors at all on these kits.
PH pocket tester. Just like a mechanical rod. BRS showed good reliable results.
I think I'm good on alkalinity magnesium and calcium as the salifert tests have been reliable and I am not too concerned with these as I don't have much SPS.
Any thoughts on this plan? Is it ignorant of me to not closely monitor the alkalinity magnesium and calcium? I do weekly 30% water changes so I can't imagine it'll be too out of wack.
Also I think once I get the RODI and make sure it's 0 tds, I won't really have issues moving forward with any of my parameters... The tap water for the last two years was weirdly fine but now I know my phosphates are WAY high and want to get that under control slowly... Around .75 on my current phosphates... The tap water itself was like .3 or .4 from the reading... Probably overfeeding a bit.

As announced by commentators, despite winning just one match this season, 2800 fans still turned up at seatgeek yesterday for the hounds VS legion match. The new york VS Dallas matchunderway at Mt vernon stadium has about 2500 fans in the stands. Funny as new york barely attracted 2k to the championship final last year. There was also a good attendance for Nola yesterday, about 2k and the seawolves-Utah match at starfire this afternoon was just about sold out as of last night (less than 100 tickets available).

--- Table of Contents ---
--- Part 1/2 ---
When Shon woke again, it was to be told he'd slept, not only the rest of the day and night of the incident, but the entire day after as well. Despite the Cleric assuring Shon that this was normal, he still had Shon eat breakfast in the infirmary while the Squires attended their morning lessons. He'd slept through drills, breakfast, and prayer.
The Cleric kept the curtains drawn over the window, though Shon's head wasn't pounding anymore, and had added a second set of standing curtains around the girl's bed. Shon's eyes flicked in her direction with every alternate bite he managed to force down, but there was no movement beyond the white cloth.
Master Daunas came in shortly before tenth bell and armor practice to inform Shon that he was to take the day off to rest but could rejoin the others in training the following day. He was at least allowed to leave the infirmary, though he waited until he could hear sparring outside before he did. He didn't want to run into any of the Squires.
As he opened the door to leave something flew by the window, catching Shon's attention enough to make him stop and look over. But it was already long gone. Just a bird... Assuming he hadn't imagined it. He shook his head, still aching all over. His mind swam with worries and memories, made worse by the fact that the Cleric was trying to hide shivers now that Shon was fully rested. He'd probably just imagined it...
Back in his room Shon huddled over his journal. He could still smell the smoke in his hair and had decided it would be best to shower soon, but finally alone, his thoughts and memories could no longer be ignored.
So he drew. He tried to start safe. Nangran atop his borrowed horse; Ivelm mostly naked and shaking a club in his doorway; the Archmage's workroom lined in shelves filled with magical components. That one had taken a while. But as he released these images onto the page, others forced themselves forward. Smoke billowing over treetops; a burning tower; charred bodies; and a girl reaching out through the flames. A girl lying asleep in the bed next to his. The stillness of the picture made her look dead.
He dropped his pencil, letting it roll right off the desk. Crossing his arms over the book, he rested his head on his desk. The wood felt warm compared to his skin, comforting. What more could he have done? What could a Paladin have done? Or Master Veon-Zih? Shon saw again the bodies and shivered.
No one could save everyone. To think otherwise was pure arrogance. But knowing the facts and feeling them were two very different things. The tower wasn’t that far from Hamerfoss. Shouldn’t they have known something was going on? Shouldn’t they have been able to do something sooner? Years sooner? Long before the fire killed those people?
A loud tapping startled him awake. When had he fallen asleep? Shon searched his room in confusion, trying to piece together his dream and what had awoken him. He'd been in the Temple chapel, but as he'd walked down the middle aisle, the pews had started to decay, the stone walls crumbling. Small plants, then trees began to sprout from the ground, overgrowing the once-holy place now in ruin. Shon pressed the heels of his hands hard into his eyes, trying to remember what had come next... A man with white hair pulled back in a ponytail had been standing at the head altar... something with leathery wings on his shoulder...
The painful screech of something sharp on glass had Shon jumping up, his chair falling to clatter on the ground behind him. He looked to his window but saw only orange sky beyond. Was the sun already setting? He knelt on the mattress and looked out the window, unsure what he expected to see. He was on the third floor, but that was definitely where the sound had come from, and the window was the only glass in the room.
Nothing but open sky.
He opened the tiny window, the pane swinging up and letting in cold and refreshing air that helped clear his mind. Master Daunas's voice bellowed orders from the courtyard below, and Shon stuck his head out to look down and see his fellows working through their dagger forms. He'd slept through lunch and afternoon lessons. And he still needed a shower.
If he hurried, he would be able to shower before the others finished their lesson. Shon left the window open and even opened his door before he remembered to grab a fresh uniform. Obviously, he still wasn't thinking clearly.
The halls were blissfully empty, and Shon could almost pretend that even if he did pass someone, their breath wouldn't show in the air. It was a short-lived fantasy, however. He managed to make it all the way to the showers, but when he opened the door a voice called, "Squire! Why aren't you... Oh..." Shon performed a sharp about face to stand at attention before the Major General.
"At ease, Squire Shon," Selibra sighed, waving him down, "Did you get enough rest?"
"Yes, Sir," Shon answered but then caught movement out of the corner of his eye, again. He hadn't managed to turn his head far enough to see before the Major General started speaking. Shon snapped his head back to give the officer his undivided attention.
"You did well, Squire. Smith Nangran told us what happened at the tower." Sir Selibra managed a strained smile that faded quickly, "If you want to talk about what you saw there... any one of us will be more than willing to listen. You shouldn't have had to experience death so soon." an image of an arm pulling away from a charred corpse flashed in Shon's vision.
Shon swallowed down the accompanying nausea at the memory and managed a nod, adding a quiet "Thank you, Sir." for good measure.
Feeling the need to scrub even more than before, Shon was grateful when the Major General left, allowing him to enter the still-open room. The shower was only mildly comforting, however. What should have been scalding water felt merely lukewarm now, the mist billowing off his truly icy skin thick enough that he could barely see the spigots. Closing his eyes, he scrubbed and tried to imagine the images flowing off of him with the filth...
Something chirped, and Shon slammed the water off. Just the pipes creaking... How much longer would he have to rest before his mind stopped playing tricks on him? But as he moved for his towel, Shon stopped in shock, his new uniform had been scattered around the benches and floor.
He hadn't heard the door open, but had heard the pipes creaking? But who here would even do something like this? Shon started to search the showers, but as he did, he heard something else—voices in the hall. The Squires were done with their practice. He still didn't want to see them and dressed quickly, rushing from the shower and slamming the door behind him.
Something thumped into the door from the other side. Shon held his breath and turned slowly. It was his imagination. It had to be. He reached for the handle again and, standing behind the swing, opened the shower slowly.
"He's been gone three days... Do you think they sent him away?" Thom's voice sounded from around a corner, and Shon jumped in surprise, pulling the door open fully as if he could hide behind it.
"No way. he's the best Squire we have, so what if he's a Sorcerer." They were talking about him... Shon definitely didn't want to see them yet. He dashed down the opposite way, taking a long way around through the Paladin's barracks and back to his room. Or that's what he'd planned before he remembered the Squires hall would be full of people now taking their break and trying to get into the shower before everyone else. His feet faltered, and he turned away again, to one of the hardly used stairs that would take him down to the rest of the fortress.
Barred from his room, Shon made his way to the place he associated the most with comfort, the chapel. It wasn't empty, three Paladins knelt in prayer near the front, but it didn't matter anymore. He felt a wash of calm as he entered the incense-filled room, the sweet-smelling smoke finally banishing the stench of burning hair from his memory.
Shon took a spot near the back, kneeling to pray as he stared up at the statue of Hengist behind the altar. He was dressed in full plate mail, his arm raised in triumph, holding his mighty sword, Darkspliter.
Shon sighed and felt himself smile for what felt like the first time in a very long time. He could tell Hengist anything and everything, and none of it out loud... But then his smile faded. What would he say...?
I'm sorry. I feel like I've been lying to everyone, to you. I've known there was something different about me, something wrong with me. That's why no one likes to touch me, why everyone pulls away at the feel of my skin, like it's somehow dirty or painful. I should've realized... Should have known...
But I worked so hard... You know that, don't you? And I'm not ready to give up. I'll do whatever it takes, atone anyway I can if you just tell me how. The Major General said something about it being a sign. I want to believe he meant the unlikely convenience of Smith Nangran knowing an Archmage who could make an item so I won't have to get the tattoo. Thank you. I just hope I don't disappoint after getting a second chance...
The bell for dinner sounded. Feeling better, Shon considered going with the Paladins as they left the chapel. Until one of them shivered as they passed. "Winters right around the corner," another muttered.
"We'll need to install the heating orbs soon." the last answered before the door closed... He wasn't hungry anyway.
Please, Hengist. Don't let me hurt anyone else. Kefir was trying to help me, and I answered that kindness with pain. What if the healers hadn't gotten to him in time? Would I have smothered him in ice? Please, I'll give up everything if it means that will never happen again...
But he didn't want to give up anything. He wanted to fight, to reach his highest potential, and lead a life of meaning. He thought of Master Veon-Zih. The Monk had told him that he didn't need to be a Paladin to fight for justice, and he was living proof of that. But...
I don't want to be alone... At first, I thought I just wanted you, a god, as a guiding light in my life. But now I realize that being a Paladin gives me even more than that. It gives me brothers and friends, and I don't want to lose them either. But I especially don't want to hurt them.
Shon clenched his hands tighter, as tight as he could, digging his fingers into the spaces between his knuckles; as if external pain might dull internal strife...
They say I'm scary... And I know they aren't really joking. I can see it in their eyes and hear it in their nervous laughs when they try and make it a joke. But they only mean when they fight me... don't they? And I'll never try to hurt them. It's only sparring... they know that... don't they?
He squeezed his eyes tighter shut,
But what about now? Will they be even more afraid? Even when we aren't sparring? Can I blame them if they are?
He actually found himself waiting for an answer... Of course, none came. He wasn't a Paladin yet, and wouldn't be able to feel the god until he swore his Oath and took a piece of Hengist into himself. For now, Shon took in a deep breath, as deep as he could, then let it out slowly, relaxing his hands and face as he attempted to release his anxieties unto his god.
I won't give up. I'll fight this danger within me as hard as I will fight any threat without. I ask for your help with this. Please don't give up on me yet. I'll prove I'm worthy, I swear.
The bell ending dinner and starting study time sounded. Shon stayed in the chapel until a handful of Squires came in to pray themselves. They hesitated by the door, but Shon didn't look at them. He knew he couldn't hide forever. But he also wasn't sure what he should say to any of them. Or if he should say anything at all. Shon waited until they moved away from the door to finally stand. If he had to face any of them, he wanted it to be the ones he considered friends first.
Shon left the chapel and made his way to the library, fighting the urge to just go back to his room. Heads swiveled in his direction the moment he opened the library door. Shon flinched, sucking in a sharp breath and holding it, pulling his energy in as best he could.
He stepped in, and the Squires exchanged looks, but then the Paladin on library duty coughed, and they quickly went back to reading.
His typical spot was available as usual, so Shon made his way there. The others would want to talk after... and if not, he would just go back to his room. Distracted by his continued worries -and the silent effort to hold his energy in- Shon still heard when something behind him hissed along the stone.
He spun quickly, scanning the floor. This time he definitely wasn't imagining it...
"Squire Shon... Shouldn't you be resting?" He turned back to find the Squires trying to make it seem like they weren't staring at him, while the Paladin who called looked openly concerned.
Shon's cheeks flushed, now feeling cool rather than warm. Another change... He cleared his throat, "No, Sir..." and when the Paladin's worried expression didn't let up, Shon added, "I've been resting all day."
"Three days..." Zihler muttered.
Shon met his eyes and the Squire smiled, but Shon couldn't tell if the expression seemed strained or not. He nodded anyway, taking his seat alone at the table by the window.
Books on their current subject of study were already laid out, and he pulled one forward, opening it without checking the title. As he read, he could hear the others occasionally whisper and even caught snippets of what they were saying,
"I found another one. Do you think this will be enough?" Thom asked.
"We have the rest of the hour; we should find all we can," Rerves answered. It didn't sound like they were studying, but Shon had missed three days of lessons; maybe they were working on an assignment... He went back to his reading. He would get any missed work tomorrow.
When the bell rang that would finally begin their last hour of free time, Shon closed his book. It would be best to just go to bed early; everyone seemed to think he should be resting anyway; they could talk after he got the sealing item... But he hadn't stood yet when his six closest friends jumped up, books in hand, and crowded around him, preventing him from leaving. From running away.
"We're glad you're okay." Rehlien blurted out.
"The Major General told us what happened," Baradin added.
Shon looked from him to Kefir and took in a sharp breath, "I'm..." he started to apologize, but Kefir interrupted with a broad smile,
"I'm fine. I even got a day off for it. I didn't need it though, they healed me up right away."
Rerves placed his book down on Shon's table, "It was just really surprising, you know? But hey! Now we know why you're so cold all the time."
Shon looked down at the massive tome on the table, not wanting to meet their eyes. He didn't know what to make of what they were saying. There was no way it was okay. How could they be alright with a dangerous magic user that could kill them all on accident...
"We found these. We thought they might make you feel a little better," Thom whispered, stacking his book on top of Rerves' and opening it to a page he'd marked with a ripped piece of scrap paper. It wasn't a textbook, it was a record book. Shon furrowed his brows down at the page, reading 'Sir Patrich, served 4876-4929, died 4955. Paladin of Hengist, General. Air Sorcerer...'
Shon looked up to find them all smiling down at him. Zihler set his book down over Thom's, opened to another personal record, "This one was a fire Sorcerer, and they're supposed to be the most destructive."
Rehlien took Baradin and Kefir's books and stacked them with his own beside the open records. He ran his fingers over the slew of bookmarks sticking out of the closed pages, "All Sorcerers and Paladins." Rehlien said.
"Master Daunas said you would be back in a few days, but just in case we wanted to find these for you," Thom explained in a rush, "You know... in case the officers or Mages needed to be convinced..."
Baradin cleared his throat before he spoke, clasping his hands behind his back, "We haven't found any ice Sorcerers yet, but they're also the rarest, so that really shouldn't be surprising."
"Yeah, and there are plenty of fire who are crazy dangerous even when they're trained," Kefir added quickly.
Shon could feel a burning in his eyes and blinked furiously, looking away from his friends. He wouldn't cry.. he wouldn't. "Thank you..." he managed to croak out, finally giving in and rubbing his eyes. None of them commented on his show of emotion, or the frost clouding his window.
Rerves took the seat across from him with a smile, "So, what type of familiar do you think you'll get?"
Shon managed to stop blinking enough to arch an eyebrow. Hadn't Ivelm said something about a familiar too?
"I bet you it'll be something really lame." Zihler laughed, "To balance Shon's badassness."
"Squire!" the Paladin librarian barked, "Pushups! Now!"
Zihler groaned, mumbling as he stepped back to perform the punishment, "How do they always do that?"
"Divine hearing," Rehlien snickered as Zihler started the pushups, "Probably only works for curses, though."
"You can join him," the Paladin called without looking up from his book, and Rehlien groaned, dropping down next to Zihler.
"Seriously though," Rerves said, ignoring the boys huffing and puffing through their punishment, "Familiars are animals, they're supposed to be even closer to their Sorcerer than a Paladin and their mount! Like an extension of yourself. You can see through their eyes and talk to them with your mind. It's awesome!"
Thom actually blushed, confessing, "We read up on it a bit over the last two days..."
They knew more about what he was than he did. Shon actually smiled, starting, "I don't..." but chittering, like a particularly loud squirrel, interrupted him. The Squires all swiveled their heads to look around, Rehlien and Zihler jumping to their feet with the Paladin, who stood so quickly his chair fell over. The chittering turned to chirping, and then to a purr, as Shon finally found what was making the noise.
On top of the bookshelf closest to the door, sat a tiny dragon.
The size of a large barn cat, its scales were mostly brown but had streaks and blotches of red and orange, like the few deciduous trees that still held their leaves in autumn. Its leathery wings were folded against its back and its front claws grasped the edge of the bookshelf. Its long tail, complete with a scorpion-like stinger, flicked back and forth, its sinuous neck held high as it surveyed the library.
Some of the Squires let slip breaths of wonder, and the little dragon seemed to preen at the attention, holding its head a little higher and purring even louder. The Paladin, however, stepped around his desk and commanded, "Stay back, Squires," before he started chanting. The little dragon tilted its head at the Paladin, as curious as the rest of them. A moment later, the knight's spell washed over them to fill the room, sending a shiver down Shon's spine and making more than one of the other Squires shudder.
The little dragon let out another string of chittering and hissed down at the Paladin, whose eyes went wide as he announced in a breath, "It's real."
"How did it get in?" a senior Squire asked. Shon started to stand but then fell back again as images flooded into his mind. He watched a window opening from outside the fortress, and saw himself lean out. Then the image shifted, and he saw himself digging under his bed for a new uniform and towel as the him that was watching slipped out the door. It shifted again, and he saw himself in the shower, mist billowing off his shoulders before he dug through the piles of clothes left on the bench. It shifted again, and he darted into the library and behind the bookshelf, watching as he, Shon, walked in and sat down at the little table.
Shon blinked and shook his head furiously to try and clear it. All the pictures had flooded in so fast that no one even had time to answer the question or pose their own, "I let it in..." Shon whispered, then looked at the Paladin, explaining quickly, "I didn't mean to. I left my window open to air out my room and..."
"It's okay, Squire," the Paladin was actually smiling, and the little dragon whistled, "They're goodly creatures, though elusive. I've never seen a live one." the dragon leaned forward on the bookshelf, crouching down on its front claws and wiggling its hindquarters before it leaped into the air, opening its wings to spread as wide as it was long. It glided a lap around the library then hovered in front of the Paladin, chittering again and flapping hard enough to blow the man's short hair back before flying right towards the group of Squires around Shon.
It brushed Baradin's head with its claws, the boy ducking as it swooped down to land on Shon's table. The dragon looked from the open books to Shon, then, before Shon could pull back, climbed up his arm and to his shoulder, purring hard enough to vibrate Shon too. It weighed considerably less than it looked like it should, though its claws were sharp enough to pierce through his clothes as it climbed. It brought its face right up to Shon's eye, and though he tried to pull away, it followed him with its long neck, rubbing its cheek along his face. The scales were smooth and lacked temperature, like being touched by a gloved hand. It nuzzled his cheek again, then down his neck and into his shirt.
Surprised, Shon tried to throw the dragon off, but it just dug its claws into his sleeves, chittering angrily then clawing its way around to his back before lifting itself up to drape over his head. "What..." Shon started, but the Paladin cut him off with a laugh.
"I think that answers your friends' questions, Squire."
Shon was too confused to even arch an eyebrow at the man, but Rerves apparently understood what he'd meant because he said, "But I thought only animals could be familiars, like cats and crows and stuff..."
The Paladin nodded but then shrugged, "That's usually the case, but sometimes, rarely, there will be a Sorcerer who gets something a bit more special, like a winged serpent, fairy dragon, or in this case," he nodded at Shon, "A pseudodragon."
The pseudodragon purred, vibrating Shon's head. The Squires all gaped slack-jawed in awe at it, and Shon reached up slowly. He wasn't even sure what he was going to do, pet it? Push it off? But before he'd even touched it, it lifted its head, stretching its long neck out and nuzzling into his hand, obviously not caring that his skin was colder now than it had ever been.
"Damn..." Zihler muttered in obvious disappointment, "I was really hoping it would be a toad so I would have something to make fun of..."
The little dragon's answering twitter almost sounded like a laugh.
***
She groaned, rolling over and nuzzling deeper into Her pillow. Except it didn’t smell like Her pillow. Her eyes flew open, and She sat up. Then fell back down. That was stupid. Ran and Brom had probably taken more blood than usual again… except She couldn’t remember them taking Her for samples. Not for weeks and weeks…
“It’s alright, you’re safe here,” the kindly voice of a man spoke from Her right, and She sat up again, more slowly this time. A stranger in white robes with a sword embroidered on the chest reached out to help Her up, but after touching Her back he pulled sharply away.
She was too confused to apologize for burning him. “Where?” She asked, looking around the room. Like the stranger, it was covered in white. White blankets, white rug, and white curtains hanging to either side of an open window. A window that looked out onto a blue sky. She gasped, scrambling from the bed and nearly tripping over Her white gown. Of course it was white. How in all the hells did they keep it all clean?
She shook Her head and rushed for the window. The man behind Her gasped, his chair scraping loudly as he stood to follow. She pressed Her hands on the cold glass, staring up into the sky, “I’m on an upper floor!?” She grinned excitedly over Her shoulder as the stranger stared at Her, mouth hanging open.
Turning back to the window, She used Her arm to wipe the fog from Her heat off the glass, letting Her gaze trail down. She didn’t see the treetops She expected. Not close anyway. Instead, the forest was beyond a wide clear field, which in turn was beyond a tall stone wall with people dressed in silver walking along its top. She stood on Her toes to look down through the window. Between the wall and Her was a courtyard full of more people swinging things that glinted in the sun.
This wasn’t the tower. None of those people wore robes except the nice stranger. She spun to him, “My treasures, where are they? Brom? Ran? Where…” She saw a flash of red, heard a pained bark, and smelled iron. She fell to Her knees, grasping Her chest and breathing hard, remembering bits and pieces. He killed them. He killed all of them. Then what? She couldn’t remember...
“You are in a training facility of the Temple of Hengist, Hamerfoss, in Clearhelm.” a new voice, deeper, less kind though not cruel, spoke from the doorway. Lifting Her head, She saw the new man wearing a crisp, white, uniform, with a sword hanging comfortably from his belt. Hengist… so that explained all the white.
The kind man in robes had rushed to Her but dared not touch Her. Wise. With Her head spinning so fast, there was no way She was controlling Her heat properly. “How long has she been awake?” the new man asked the kind one.
“She just woke up, Major General,”
“He killed them…” She whispered, squeezing Her eyes shut, pushing back the rage and sorrow, trying to fill in Her memory. What happened next?
“It will be alright. You're safe here,” the kind man said again.
She pulled Her own hair, lacing Her fingers into the golden strands and squeezing. What had happened? She had run down the hall, but how had She gotten out of Her room? There were strangers in Her tower. These men? She glared up at the brown-haired man who looked down at Her, his hands behind his back.
“Who are you? What did you do to the Mages?” She could feel the hair rise on the back of Her neck and a familiar tingling where the collar should be.
The Major General remained calm before Her building fury, saying only, “Calm down.” It was a command backed by magic. She felt the power flow over Her and try to settle on Her mind. She could almost sense the peace it promised but shook Her head, clearing it of the spell.
He could've used his magic to hurt Her. Perhaps not with the collar as the Archmages did, but in other ways. And yet, he hadn’t moved from his spot, his hands still behind his back. She looked again at the sword of Hengist at his side. She'd read all about the gods. Hengist was good and noble, all about self-sacrifice and protecting the weak… A fool, the Mages had said. And yet his Temple ruled this province. The Mages of Her tower would never work with the Temple of Hengist. Or any kingdom order…
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She didn’t need his help to calm down, not when She had something to focus on. She shoved Her grief to the back of Her mind. “How did I get here?” another image flashed in Her mind, fire all around, a white path, blue eyes.
The Paladin didn’t answer right away; instead, he motioned for the robed man - a Cleric? - to bring him a chair. She tilted Her head curiously at him, but he only sat down with a weary sigh, then gestured towards the bed, “Please, have a seat.”
She stood, returning to the bed and eyeing the door over his shoulder. He hadn’t locked it. “We saw smoke from the woods and found you in a burning tower.” the blood drained from Her face, “We have recovered several bodies from around the structure, but there were no other survivors.” he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and fixing Her with a piercing stare, “What happened? What was going on in that tower?”
She brought Her feet onto the bed and hugged Her legs tight, “I don’t… I can’t remember…” a fire, the tower burning… But it was made of stone. Her fire couldn’t burn that hot… Could it?
“Sir Selibra,” the kindly Cleric sounded stern, crossing his arms and glaring down at the Paladin, “She has just woken up from what was obviously a terrible ordeal. Show some compassion.”
The Paladin, Selibra, actually looked ashamed, leaning back in his chair and clearing his throat, “I apologize, miss…” he drew out the last word, looking at Her expectantly. She tilted Her head. “What is your name?” he asked more clearly. She tilted Her head the other way. Were they going to play that game here too?
The Cleric hummed then said, “Please forgive him, miss, we are all very troubled by the events and deaths at the tower. The Major General merely got ahead of himself. If you could tell us your name, then we can let you rest and…”
“I don’t have a name.”
The two men blinked dumbly at Her, and She rolled Her eyes, “I knnnooowww,” She let Her legs fall back down, so She was sitting properly again, “But I don’t know it yet. As soon as I do, I'll tell you.” She assured them. The men exchanged looks as She glanced again out the window. Maybe She should've just told them what Brom and Ran called Her… But those weren’t names. They were descriptors. No better than ‘Firewyrm.’
If these Temple men were to be believed, everything was gone. She had no room, no books, no clothes, no treasures, and no name. What did She have? She pulled Her hair over Her shoulder and stared out the window as She stroked it. She had Her hair. They hadn’t cut it in months. She had Her body. She straightened Her posture, holding Her head high. And She had Her power—the fire crackling deep inside Her soul. The Mages had taken the first two. The third had destroyed them.
“You should rest,” Selibra stood, and Her eyes snapped back to him, “You can send for me when you feel ready to talk. Until then, focus on recovering your strength and your memories.”
He made it all the way to the door, even swung it open before She called out, “What are you going to do to me?”
Selibra turned back, his eyebrows raised in surprise. The Cleric placed a hand on Her shoulder, slowly and carefully, gauging how much of Her heat he could handle. She turned to him, and he let Her go. He'd held on longer than expected. “We will keep you safe, child.” the Cleric assured Her.
The Paladin grew stiff for a moment, then brought his right fist up to his chest, “By the sword of Hengist’s honor, we will safeguard your life and freedom,” Freedom? “Whatever injustices you endured there, you will find justice in the laws of Clearhelm.” She didn’t know what to say, and so, after an awkward moment of silence, Selibra turned for the door again and left.
She didn’t lay down. Instead, She walked back to the window. The view seemed to stretch on forever from so high up, higher than She'd ever remembered being before. Even when She used to climb the trees around Her tower.
Selibra hadn’t locked the door, but the Cleric bustled around behind Her, and the wall below Her clanked with armored knights. What was freedom anyway?
--- Table of Contents ---
Thanks for making it this far, you are the real MVP

I (F33) split from my husband 2 years ago (no kids). I also left the town we lived in and got a job in a big city, where I didn’t know anyone. It was frightening at first but is now going quite well. Until this.
At university I was good friends with ‘Joe’ who was on my course. He was into casual flings then and I was with my ex so we were just platonic friends. He came to my wedding but then we drifted apart soon after.
However he lives in this city and we work in a similar field and we reconnected ca 4 months ago. He has a partner ‘Cat’ who is now pregnant. She is great and they seem well suited. As someone new to the area, they took me under their wing and also introduced me to his brother and SIL, who have a wide social circle and lots of parties etc. It’s helped me meet people and settle in. I owe them a lot.
My main friend from uni is ‘Lauren’. She’s recently split from her long term partner, which she is finding hard. She also knew Joe from back then and they’d hooked up a few times but nothing came of it and they both moved on. I didn’t really think anything of it.
She’s just been down to stay with me for the weekend. Joe’s SIL arranged a barbecue and invited me. I said my friend was here and she was invited as well. SIL is very welcoming.
But Lauren didn’t behave well at all. She drank too much and started flirting quite openly with Joe, even in front of Cat. I tried to stop her and he initially tried to brush her off politely but she got worse, made a nasty comment about Cat’s figure and even made some references to when she had sex with him ca 10 years ago. Other things as well. It was awful.
I tried to get us to leave. She was refusing. Eventually Joe’s brother asked us to leave his house and we did. I was mortified.
She was belligerent on the way home and then pretty much passed out. This morning she was hungover but not really that apologetic. She felt that flirting is ok as nothing was actually going to happen and it probably made him feel good. I am sure it didn’t. She thinks I’m not supportive enough of her break up, which I thought I was. She accused me of being a judgmental AH. We had an argument, which we’ve never done before and she’s now left.
I’ve texted Joe, Cat and SIL to apologise but no response so far. They may just be busy but I’m paranoid that they’re ghosting me and that I just shouldn’t have taken her, knowing their history. I honestly didn’t think it was that big a deal though.
So they’re ignoring me (maybe?) and Lauren isn’t speaking to me. AITBF?

I don’t know if any of you have noticed, but the last few years have been wild for airline travel. It seems like not even a week can pass before a new viral video is circulating the internet, showcasing some idiot on a plane or airport screaming, shouting, and even starting fights with other passengers and flight staff for no apparent reason.
I’m sure it’s entertaining when you’re sitting at home and come across these videos while casually scrolling through Reddit or Twitter. You might laugh, or shake your head at the stupidity and not give it a second thought. Unfortunately, this isn’t an option when you’re the one on the job.
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had to call security to deal with a rowdy or straight-up violent customer in the airport over the last couple of years. Most of the time, the things that set people off are surprisingly minor and avoidable issues.
They want to board now but it wasn’t their turn so they start harassing me and my co-workers. Another passenger looked at them funny so they get into a screaming match. A baby is crying so the grown adult starts whining even louder. The person in front of them took the last chocolate donut with sprinkles from the airport bakery so they start throwing punches.
You would not believe the stuff I’ve seen. Needless to say, I got tired of it. Getting up to go to work, wondering what kind of unhinged maniac was going to make a problem for me lost its appeal. So, I started to look for a new job.
A few weeks into the job search, I began to get doubtful that I would find a suitable replacement. Seeing as my only tangible skills and experience were in the airline industry, I didn’t have much more than other airline jobs within realistic reach. Though I didn’t have a problem with relocation, if it meant I was going to end up in another major airport, I had no interest.
During one 3 am job search after my long shift at the airport, running on nothing but the jittery movements from the room-temperature coffee, I found a new job listing. One Pine Airport, a rural airport in the midwest. I sat up and took another sip of coffee. The pictures for the place gave an idea of the size and it looked tiny. Only a couple of runways, a single terminal, and a cute internal design reflective of the forestry that surrounded it. Perfect for me, I thought. I imagined there would not be nearly as many people to deal with.
I scrolled down to the job details and to my relief, it was for the exact same job I had already been doing. The only difference was that it required frequent night shifts. I had done plenty of night shifts before, but doing a few more of them made no difference to me. Surprisingly listed was the pay. I couldn’t believe my eyes. They were offering more starting than I was being paid at the airport I had been at for over three years.
Now wide awake, I eagerly uploaded my resume, filled out all of the application questions, and even spent the next hour crafting an unnecessary cover letter. I headed to bed with the hope that my days at overflowing airports might be over. The next day as I was getting ready for work, I opened my phone to scroll through notifications and check emails.
To my disbelief, I had one from the job I had applied for only hours earlier. The manager at the airport, who had posted the job, requested an interview over Zoom. I quickly replied and we settled on a time during my lunch break that very day.
The first few hours of work breezed by and as I boarded flight after flight of passengers, I couldn’t help but think about the upcoming interview. When it came time, I was nervous as hell but my fears were diffused within the first minute. A bald, well-kept, and well-dressed man joined the meeting room and greeted me with a warm smile. He introduced himself as James.
I couldn’t have asked for a more friendly interviewer. He welcomed me and after some small talk and a few questions about my relevant experience, he gave an overview of the job's details, that being the same job I already had with better pay but more frequent night shifts. No problem with me. After affirming that I knew all the details of the job, James cracked another wide, friendly smile and asked an unexpected question.
“When can you start?”
I spit the out sip of coffee I had just taken back into the cup. I looked back up at James and tried to find the right words but I was unprepared.
“You uh… aren’t gonna give me a call back like later or something? Don’t you have more interviews and… and paperwork waiting to clear and, and…?”
James waved his hand dismissively at his webcam.
“You’re the only applicant we have, and we couldn’t have asked for a better one. As for the paperwork and such, we’ll figure that out when we figure it out. The job is yours, whenever you can start, that is. Preferably soon?”
Though the feelings of shock and confusion remained, they were pushed to the side by my excitement. Throughout the remainder of our conversation, James and I reviewed our schedules and set up a start date before ending the call. I sat back in my break room chair with a sigh of disbelief and a chuckle.
I am well aware that it is standard to give at least a two-week notice to your employer and moving across states for a job is supposed to take quite a bit of planning but I was dying to get out of my current job. Through both eagerness and maybe a little stupidity, we settled on a day only a little over a week away.
At the end of my shift that day, I let my manager know I had to be done in a week. Though she wasn’t happy, she assured me it wouldn’t be a problem.
My final day was nothing short of horrendous. A couple had come up, demanding and screaming that I refund their tickets for no apparent reason. On top of that, they still wanted to fly. After hearing that no, they would not be able to fly for zero cost, the husband, followed by the wife, both started shouting threats. Security was quickly called to the terminal.
As soon as they arrived, I checked my watch to find that my shift was over. I let out a sigh of relief and excitedly walked away. As deprived of sleep as I was, with a long and undoubtedly stressful drive ahead of me, I was still more energetic and in higher spirits than I had been in a long time.
Surprisingly, the drive went off without a hitch. I arrived earlier than expected and checked into the motel room I rented for the week so I had time to get the move figured out. After dumping a few boxes of personal items and a suitcase of clothes into the room, I turned off the lights. I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I energetically awoke that evening to prepare myself for my first shift. I quickly got dressed and started the drive in hopes of arriving plenty early. Naively, I hadn’t considered how my unfamiliarity with the roads would slow me down, and after a staggering amount of wrong turns, I arrived at the little airport with only minutes to spare.
The airport was even smaller in person than I had imagined it to be from the pictures. I quickly walked through the entrance and was greeted by the small team of security. After notifying them that I was there for work and that James had been waiting for me, they hurried me through without so much as a question. The security, the architecture, the beautiful scenery that surrounded it, nothing about this airport couldn’t have felt more welcoming.
I walked through to find the single terminal inside, devoid of any passengers, with James sitting behind a counter at the end. After a moment he looked up and upon making eye contact with me, his tired face lit up. I was about to apologize for my tardiness but didn’t have the chance as he rushed to show me the employee locker room where he had my new employee uniform and badge waiting inside my very own locker. He told me to get changed and to meet him outside right away.
I did as he asked and within a couple of minutes, I walked out to find him back behind the console at the counter, gathering his belongings. He noticed me approaching and glanced up, thanking me for showing up and starting so soon as he handed me a fresh cup of coffee. He also apologized for not being able to stick around long for my shift but he sounded sure that he wasn’t all that worried.
“I have to be going now, I’ve been on duty for 17 hours. I know you’re plenty familiar with our systems and software, you know what you’re doing.”
He assured me with a pat on the back before walking out from the desk. He turned and added
“It’ll be a quiet night for you anyway. No flights scheduled. Just sit back, relax, and uh... Oh yeah. Most importantly, I nearly forgot”.
He reached into his bag and pulled out a single sheet of laminated paper and held it in front of me.
“Give this a read as soon as you can. Go over it a few times if you need, don’t deviate from it”.
I took it but before I could even get a look, I noticed James begin to walk toward the exit, along with every single one of the security guards and the cashier who had just closed down the only shop in the airport. I then noticed that all of the scanners and metal detectors at the security gate were shut off. I started to panic.
“Hey! James? Where is everyone going?”
I shouted. The first words I had managed to speak to my new boss since arriving. He stopped and turned back again
“Oh yeah. Another thing I ought to have mentioned. Everyone except whoever is working the night shift in, well, your position takes off right around now. Don’t worry, security will be back sometime around 5 am. You’ve got this place to yourself. Grab a magazine from the little store in there if you get bored. Feel free to snag yourself a couple of snacks too”.
He began to walk away again before briefly turning and pointing at me.
“But before you do anything, read that list. You’ll need it”.
I stood, dumbfounded as I watched my new boss along with all of the other airport staff leave. I started to wrap my head around the fact that I had an empty airport to myself for 10 hours, with nothing to do and no one to deal with, all while I was getting paid the highest wage I had ever earned.
As much as thinking about it delighted me, I turned my attention turned toward the sheet of paper I almost forgot I was holding on to. James said to follow whatever list was on it, so I figured I ought to take a look. I walked behind the airport counter and sank into one of the seats behind it. I took a sip of coffee and finally took a serious look.
A total of 6 rules were neatly spaced on the sheet.
Rule 1: All lights in the airport are to stay on at all times. If one is off, or if you are to accidentally turn one off, turn it back on as soon as possible. If a light seems to be broken or is out and unable to turn back on, calmly exit the area. Report the outage to James or maintenance when possible. Do not listen to the sounds. Do not listen to the voices.
Rule 2: Rule 2 pertains to rainy or stormy weather. If it is raining or storming outside, disregard rules 3, 4, and 5. They will not be a concern during these types of weather conditions. Stay inside at all times. Do not use the men’s restroom and avoid going near it entirely if possible.
Rule 3: Sometime between 11 pm and 1 am, a young woman will walk out of the women’s restroom. She will enter the terminal and sit, occasionally getting up to walk around or change seats. Her name is Elizabeth. She will attempt to make conversation but you must not reciprocate. You may look at her, you may give nonverbal communication such as a head nod, you may write as a means of communication, or you may shake her hand but do not speak to her. If you refuse to speak to her, Elizabeth should be gone within a few hours. If you happen to make such a mistake, go to the men’s restroom and wait for her to leave.
Rule 4: At around one or two in the morning, a janitor in blue coveralls will arrive at the front entrance. Crack open the door and ask for his name. If he says his name is Simon, let him in. If he gives you any name other than Simon, shut the door and lock it without another word and walk away. If the janitor is Simon, he will attend to the janitorial needs of the airport. If he asks to clean where you are standing, oblige him. Simon will not interfere with your duties otherwise. He is not hostile or dangerous. You may engage in conversation with Simon. He will leave the same way he came when he feels it is necessary.
Rule 5: At around 3 am, you may notice that a black and red Cessna Skyhawk has landed on one of the airstrips. You will never see it land, and you will never see it take off. It will just appear when you’re not looking. After spotting the plane for the first time, do not look at it again. Avoid looking in its general direction if at all possible. There is a picture of the exact plane displayed inside the terminal, behind the counter.
Rule 6: Later in the night but sometime before dawn, a group of men claiming to be from TSA may arrive at the airport. They will have their own key and let themselves in. Some could be armed. Often, they exhibit panicked behavior. They may search through the airport, sweep room to room, and ask questions. They are permitted to search anywhere in the main airport building that they please, and you may oblige to any questioning but under no circumstances are they permitted to enter the sky bridge. They will not enter without verbal approval and they cannot harm you.
After reading over it a few times, I set the laminated sheet down and leaned back further into my seat before taking a long sip of coffee, wondering what on earth I had just read. I hadn’t taken James to be the imaginative type. Most of all, I hadn’t taken him to be anywhere near the unprofessional type. Though as I thought about it, it was unusual how rushed this all was and how he left in such a hurry, leaving so few details.
I began to wonder if I was being pranked, I considered that maybe this was all some sort of messed up joke or setup. I ruled that out pretty quickly. This was, in fact, a real airport. I had done plenty of research by the time I got here. At least a few real flights were coming in or going out each day. James has been working here for years and I couldn’t think of a reason why he would jeopardize his job or reputation just to get a scare out of me.
After chuckling to myself at the absurdity of my situation, I decided to indulge and see what would happen. Maybe it was a “test” for me as a new employee. Maybe James wanted to see if I could follow orders.
After glancing at the list once more and realizing the impact rule 2 had on the number of things I would have to keep track of, I brought up my phone to check the forecast. Clear skies, not a chance for rain or storms all night. Great, I thought to myself. I had to watch out for these Elizabeth and Simon characters to show up and I suppose “not” be on the lookout for a random plane to appear on the runway.
I stood up and grabbed my coffee, walking to the glass panes. I took another sip from my cup while admiring the lit runways along the airfield. It sure was a pretty nice sight. As I was raising my cup to finish what was left, I began to hear the click of shoes on the floor somewhere behind me.
Startled, I spun around abruptly, dropping my cup and spilling the remainder of the coffee in the process. At the other end of the terminal seating stood a young woman, around her mid-twenties in my estimation. She was holding two large leather suitcases in each hand and had an old-fashioned sense of style with a skirt and heels. Most surprising was her stunning beauty and welcoming smile.
“Oh I’m sorry dear, didn’t mean to scare you”
She expressed with a sincere tone. I opened my mouth, ready to assure her that everything was fine but I stopped myself. I recalled the list. At this point, I was certain that she was here at James’s request, a paid actor determined to make me break the rules. I was more determined not to. Instead, I simply fixed my posture, straightened my uniform, and looked back with a smile.
She walked to the counter where she placed her leather suitcases on the ground before closing the distance between us.
“Looks like we’ve got this fabulous airport all to ourselves. I am Elizabeth”
She said, reaching out her hand. I shook it, but she didn’t seem quite satisfied.
“And your name?”
I continued to smile and lock eye contact. Her grin grew for a moment before she remarked
“You don’t seem to be much of a talkative one”
And with that, she turned and started to walk away. I returned to my seat behind the counter, watching her closely as I did. Elizabeth proceeded to the unattended airport shop and after a couple of minutes of looking over magazine covers and occasionally taking a peek inside, she returned carrying a small stack of reading material. She approached my counter before placing a National Geographic magazine in front of me.
“I figured you might like this one. Enjoy”
She said, winking before settling on a seat in the first row of the terminal, straight across from where I had been sitting.
Remarkably, her intuition was spot on. I may have lived in cities all of my life but I loved nature, despite how little of it I had gotten to see. National Geographic was a favorite of mine, one I had been familiar with and enjoyed on work breaks from time to time. Rarely was I given this long to be able to read. I was almost tempted to break the rule and thank her for her rather thoughtful act, though I didn’t. I stuck to the rule.
The next couple of hours were uneventful. Elizabeth and I read through our magazines, occasionally looking up at each other to exchange glances and smiles. Within that time, she had attempted to get me to talk at least half a dozen more times. I almost gave in when she asked me if I wanted another magazine.
At a little past 1:30, I could hear a knock at the front entrance. Elizabeth and I both looked before she remarked
“Oh, that must be the nice cleaner man”
With a giggle before returning to her magazine. I walked over to the front doors and sure enough, there stood a man around his mid-thirties, sporting a blue janitor suit waiting patiently at the door. I unlocked the door and opened it. As he took a stride to enter, I remembered the most important detail from rule 4. I closed the door halfway and sternly commanded
“Wait”
The man looked up at me with a surprised look. I asked him the question.
“What is your name?”
The man stared back at me as an innocent smile formed on his face.
“I’m Simon!”
He announced excitedly.
“The Janitor here. Did James let you know I was coming tonight?”
I stood there for a moment, thinking over the rule, before nodding my head and opening the door once again to let him in.
Once inside, Simon walked with purpose to the janitor's closet which was positioned near the men’s restroom. I followed him somewhat suspiciously for the next few minutes as he began to clean but I eased up once I got the feeling that he was just the janitor around here and that James made up the whole “ask for his name thing” to make into one of his rules.
I returned to my counter in the terminal and continued to read. Occasionally, Simon would pass by, off to do his duties in some part of the airport or Elizabeth would stand up to look at the various pictures and paintings on display in the terminal. A good half an hour of this would go on before Simon approached the terminal counter with his mop in hand. He seemed to be eyeing up the two leather suitcases Elizabeth had set there.
Assuming he wanted to clean where they were, I got up to move them. I grabbed each one by the handle but failed to lift them off of the ground. Confused, I stepped back to see if they were stuck on something. They were not. Just two suitcases, left right where Elizabeth had set them.
I tried to lift just one. Again, I failed. I tried both hands, putting my back and legs into it with all that I had. It wouldn’t budge.
I looked back up at Simon who nodded his head in Elizabeth’s direction. I turned to look at Elizabeth, who after noticing my stare, and my apparent inability to move her luggage, smiled and stood up.
“Let me get that for you”
She insisted. With ease, she lifted both leather suitcases and moved them closer to her seat before lowering them, this time letting them drop a few inches. When they hit the ground, a boom echoed through the airport and I flinched in surprise. I looked back at Simon, who hadn’t seemed shocked at all. He just continued to mop.
I slowly made my way back to my seat, not taking an eye off Elizabeth for one second as I did. After a few minutes, she looked back up from her magazine, noticed my stare, and returned to her reading with a grin. She seemed to find my shock amusing. Eventually, Simon noticed my surprise as well. He paused his mopping and approached me before raising his head.
“I know, I know. Stick to the rules and everything will be just fine, trust me”
He stated quietly. I nodded my head in response.
Simon went back to his cleaning. A few minutes passed before Elizabeth had something new to say.
“What a remarkable aircraft!”
She exclaimed, looking out the glass panes facing the runways. I followed her gaze to the lone, black, and red airplane positioned on the runway. I turned around, looking at the picture displayed behind me. It certainly looked like a match. I turned back to the window and felt my heart sink. A silhouette of a person now stood next to the plane, facing the airport and the windows of the terminal.
“Stop looking at it”
Simon sternly muttered from behind me. I looked back at Simon who quickly cowered, seemingly ashamed to have raised his voice at me but I was grateful he had. I read over rule 5 again, specifically where it stated to not look at the plane twice. I murmured insults at myself under my breath but they didn’t have much room between my now heavy, frantic breathing. My eyes darted through the other rules. I chose to focus on that sheet of paper. At least it was something other to look at than the plane outside.
This went on for a good ten minutes or so and my breathing started to calm down. I had begun to pray in my head that whoever and whatever that was would go away when Elizabeth suddenly approached my counter. I snapped my head up in a jittery movement to make eye contact with her.
“I’m going to get some more reading material. Want another one of those?”
She asked, reaching a hand out to my National Geographic magazine. I looked up and nodded, forcing a smile. As She moved away, my gaze didn’t, and once again I found myself looking at the plane on the runway, the silhouette now standing hundreds of feet away from the plane, even closer to the building, and still staring in my direction.
Chills ran up my spine as I snapped my gaze back to my desk. I began to shake with fear and the manic breathing returned. Moments later, Elizabeth returned and placed a new magazine on the counter before running a hand over my shoulder, seemingly to comfort me. Simon then put his hand on my back.
“He’ll be gone soon and so will the plane. Just don’t look at it again”
He assured me.
“Mind if I clean here?”
He then asked.
I got up and walked to the end of the counter, watching Simon thoroughly clean the floor before I looked up and let out a soft
“Thank you”
He nodded and smiled back.
“What was that?”
Elizabeth asked. I turned towards her.
“Oh, I was just thanking Simon for-”
My error occurred to me before I could finish speaking. My eyes locked on Elizabeth as she stood up from her seat and her smile faded. Her eyes and nose began to bleed profusely as she started to sob, lightly at first, then hysterically. She let out a bellowing screech, a mix of pain and anger. She picked up one of her suitcases and hurled it at me, I barely dodged the ridiculously heavy object before it crashed into the wall behind me.
Luckily I was quick thinking this time and made a run for the men’s restroom recalling rule 3. She chased after me but I slammed the door shut in her face and locked it. Elizabeth pounded on the door with furious anger a few times but gave up quickly.
“So that’s how you dance, is it love? I can play that game”
She snickered before flipping a light switch outside of the bathroom. The clicking of her shoes faded away. A few minutes of silence passed before laughter started to become audible from the other side of the door.
One voice grew to two, two voices grew to three, three grew to ten. While others continued their now hysterical laughing, some began to scream. I crumbled to the floor, covering my ears as the voices went on, only stopped by another flip of the switch. Light beamed through the bottom of the door.
“It’s over now. She’s gone, and so is the plane. I’ve gotta be getting out of here soon”
Simon’s calm and friendly voice called out. I reluctantly exited the bathroom and followed him back to the counter, where he had prepared another coffee for me.
“Wish I could have done more there but you’ll come to find out that when Elizabeth gets angry, you just gotta let her do her thing”.
I looked up at him, still with my distraught face, at a loss for words. Over the next few minutes, Simon finished cleaning Elizabeth’s blood from the floor before putting everything back into the janitor's closet. He looked down at his watch.
“I better get out of here. Good luck with the rest of your night. I hope I’ll be seeing you soon”.
He said, letting out a sigh as he again looked at me in pity. I think he knew how shaken up I was. It was like he had seen people in my position before. Something told me he doesn’t have a choice on when he leaves. After I watched him exit the door, I returned to my seat behind the counter. I began to feel alone and afraid, but the loneliness wouldn’t last at least.
Only minutes after Simon left, the doors swung open and men in tactical gear, most of which had their faces covered in masks and goggles, rushed through the door. I sprung back up from my seat and watched as they did, with not much else I could do. They swept room to room, checking every nook and cranny at gunpoint, ignoring my existence at first.
As they cleared the entire building, the twenty or so armed men made their way to the terminal seating area. A lone man in a suit, whom I had not noticed enter, made his way to the front of the group.
“I’m with TSA, I’m going to need you to answer some questions for me”
He demanded. I nodded in affirmation.
“How many individuals have you seen in this airport since the security team left the building?”
“Besides myself, 2 Inside, one outside”
I answered confidently.
“Was the individual outside next to a black and red Cessna Skyhawk?”
“Yes”
I again responded confidently. The man in the suit nodded and paused for a moment before making another demand.
“We’re going to need to search the air bridge”.
I glanced back at the sheet of rules on the counter. Making sure I had read it right before. I took a step forward and straightened my uniform.
“No”
I replied. The man in the suit looked irritated.
“If you do not step aside and give us permission to search, I’m afraid I’ll have to detain you”.
Already tired and worn out, I wasn’t going to break the last rule. I decided to give a not-so-smart remark to the man in the suit
“Looking a little well-armed for TSA, wouldn’t you agree?”
He ignored my comment.
“Last chance, step aside”
“No”
Again, irritated by my response, the man in the suit turned to his right and raised his chin to give a signal. Gunshots rang out and I collapsed to the floor. I felt as though my life left my body before it all faded to black.
The next thing I remembered was the feeling of my hand gripping a water bottle. Then came James’s voice.
“I see you made it through the first night intact. Looks like you got to meet Simon. He’s a nice guy, you’ll get to like him. And Elizabeth, she’s…well, she’s something else, isn’t she?”
I opened my eyes and looked up at James.
“Am I dead?”
I asked in a raspy voice. James chuckled in return.
“No! No, you did great. You’re fine. It does, however, look like you might have been a little assertive to our undead TSA special forces wannabes. I would recommend sticking with the less aggressive tone and word choices, maybe I ought to edit that into the rules sheet… In any case, they can’t hurt you but they can still get a jump out of you, as you saw”.
Once again, I was at a loss for words. I slowly made my way back to my feet from the ground and looked at the sunrise over the airfield. James held out an envelope for me. I opened it, revealing a stack of crisp $100 bills.
“A little bonus for your first night. It sure is a lot to go through for the first time but I promise, you get used to it all”.
I turned to James with an angry look and finally spoke up.
“What the hell is wrong with you? What makes you think it’s okay to put someone through this without any warning? I'm done, keep your damn money. I’m gonna go call the cops”.
I started to walk towards the exit when James stepped in front of me.
“Look, I know it isn’t fair for you but it wasn’t fair for me either. It wasn’t fair for any of us. It’s not okay, I know. But what do you expect me to do? Someone needs to be here for the night shift. You wouldn’t believe any of this if I told you ahead of time. You would have thought I was some sort of nutjob and the police will think of you the same if you tell them. I needed you to see it for yourself”
James was starting to get worked up and stoppeto breatheth before continuing.
“This money is yours, no strings attached. You’re free to leave now and never come back, there will be no shame in it”
I also started to calm down but I couldn’t bring myself to look James in the eye yet.
“If you choose to stay, I’ll see you in my office to finish up your paperwork”.
And with that, James walked away. Facing the front of the airport, I watched the first passengers of the day come through the entrance. I just stood there for a few minutes. Whether I was ready for this job or not, I knew right then I sure as hell wasn’t going back to another overcrowded city airport.
I turned and headed for James’s office.