Don't let me down instrumental beatles

Greetings,
On behalf of the BlursedComments mod team, let me just begin by saying this is not the kind of announcement we'd like to be making. Unfortunately, time is of the essence and this is likely to affect the majority of our community here let alone across the entirety of Reddit.

What's happening?

As you may be aware, Reddit recently announced a policy change that will have far-reaching consequences for third-party mobile apps and tools. The price increase for accessing Reddit's API will effectively eliminate beloved applications such as Apollo, Reddit is Fun, Narwhal, and BaconReader, along with affecting other means of customizing Reddit, including the use of the old.reddit.com desktop interface and the Reddit Enhancement Suite. This change will also affect folks with accessibility requirements such as those who are visually impaired.
These changes will make a great many quality-of-life features not seen in the official mobile app permanently inaccessible to users. This isn’t only a problem on the user level: many subreddit moderators depend on tools only available outside the official app to keep their communities on-topic and spam-free.

What can we do to stop this?

Moderators from hundreds of communities across reddit have drafted and signed an open letter to reddit, asking them to reconsider the pricing scheme and to recognize the role that 3rd party apps have played in reddit's ongoing success. You can read the open letter here:

• /ModCoord: An open letter on the state of affairs regarding the API pricing and third party apps and how that will impact moderators and communities.

In solidarity with this cause, /BlursedComments will be going dark on June 12 in protest against Reddit's API changes. The intent is not to stifle discussion but rather to make our voices heard through collective action. We invite all members of BlursedComments to participate in this effort.
If you have any questions or suggestions, please feel free to reach out to us through modmail.
Thank you for your support. - The BlursedComments mod team
You can read more about the situation here.

• Don't Let Reddit Kill 3rd Party Apps!

Background: I have been seeing this guy for a about two months. We both are immigrants to the US, and he moved more recently than I did. We both are brown and generally he's a bit more conservative leaning. I know broadly he think/ knows that Roe v Wade is controversial. I myself am pro-choice and I've made that quite clear.
My general impression is that he is pro-choice but I don't want to just ask him: "Hey! What's your stance on Roe v Wade"..rather I want to take a more directed apporoach so that I can understand the nuances of his response. I'm struggling to find some leading questions especially on how it applies to relationships. I'm looking for advice on how to carry forward such a conversation. I don't know how the conversation is going to play out, so I'm going to assume the worst and lay down all the traditonal conservative statements. I feel like english is not my strong suite is explaining these ideas so I'm trying to write them out here so that I can be better prepared for this convo (we communicate in English). Just to be clear, I'm also doing this excersise do be able to better articulate my views to other people regardless of weather I'm dating them, my parents, or friends.
Questions:

1. "How much choice do you think a woman should have her own choice in carrying a pregnancy to term?"
2. "When you are married, do you think women should have complete control on wether to carry a pregnancy?"
3. "What are your opinions on birth control?"

Common arguments: and responses (after >>)

1. "Roe v wade doesn't affect mine and yours as much. I think women should have access to abortion “for a good reason”. i.e, abortion for rape or incest; or when there is an abnormal pregnancy" >> These are definitely special cases and I agree with you. What do you think outside of these special cases?
2. “People should be responsible…if the condom breaks you get Plan B." >>Birth control is ever 100% effective, condoms even if used correctly have a 2% fail rate.
3. Follow-up: "He acknowledges that, but says the odds are very small and basically if you have sex you should accept that risk and continue the pregnancy because “it’s not the baby’s fault”. >> It's not anyone's fault because accidents do happen. However, the only person bearing the consequences of those accidents is me. In which case, don't you think I should have the right to abortion?
4. "Abortion isn't fair because the dad doesn't have a say in it" >> Well, abortion isn't fair as though pregnancy and delivery are the most egalitarian things in the world. It's unfair because the entire process is unfair. Pregnancy can overtake a woman's life and literally all you had to do was orgasm. Nothing about that is fair!
5. "Then, for women who do have children that men aren't interested in having than they shouldn't have to pay child support" >> I don't have a good discussion point for this

Anyone else can think of any other common arguments they've had to deal with and followup discussion points?

So currently I live with my parents in London (23) I'm fortunate enough that they let me live rent free so I'm able to save most of my salary which a lot of disposable income. Currently have about 12k saved. I currently am on 30k salary as it's my first job out of uni. I'm not looking to move out ASAP as I have a nice healthy home life and I'm comfortable here to be honest, Big house,big room,garden etc. But as I get older I would like to be able to move out eventually minus the whole living with strangers and having flatmates situation. Living outside of London isn't something I'd take into consideration considering my friends/family and everything I grew up with is here. What sort of salary do I need to aim for to live alone in London? I don't care to live bang in the middle of the city. I currently live in Zone 5 and I'm happy even in zone 6 as long as it meant living alone with no housemates. But everything I read makes it sound like you'll be struggling in London unless you're on a 6 figure salary which is not happening for me anytime soon. Also I'm single at the moment so I'm taking that into account that I don't have a partner to increase household income.

I'm 23F and I've been browsing off and on listings for several months and I've thrown up a few posts looking for peeps before but the server typically dies down in a few days or the owner is a scuzzbag. I'm juust looking for a group of peeps to play minecraft with and maybe make some new friends so hopefully THIS POST will be the one for that.
A bit about me, I've been playing games for years and years, I love mechanical stuff in minecraft (Vanilla and modded), Things like building raid farms or iron farms or just really goofy redstone stuff is fun to me. I really prefer modded because I feel like there's never enough to keep my attention in vanilla though... I'm also pretty lazy sometimes... Some days I'll make a large pretty house or a fancy build and a week could go by where I don't do much other than fish.
I also really like community sense in games, its actually the main reason I play games. I like being able to chat with people in voice and actually make friends with people. I don't want a server to just be a "I'm here and they're over there and I may never talk to them but I'll do my own thing", or I'd play single player...
​
Now the nitty gritty: I've been playing minecraft since before survival mode was a thing, I'm a massive nerd and love absorbing new information; so I've learned a bit since then. I started playing modded back when tekkit classic was still "tekkitmain", and it was... Love at first sight. It took this game that I already loved so much, and transformed it into something beautiful. Mechanics to be learned, more things to do and build with and ideas to automate and things to work towards... and it was... Magnificent... Since then I've played hundreds, maybe thousands of modpacks. I've made my own with wacky concepts, I've spent hours configuring mods to enjoy funky packs. I love magic mods and tech mods and everything in between.
Finally, why I'm here... Every pack or server dies so quickly. People play and stop so quickly and it's so disheartening. I want an active community to play with, I want to make friends and have fun and build and think. What I really want is a server. Not a husk for people to scatter, not something so inactive that people come back a month later and see what I've built and think "nah im done then", A server... A community. A group of people, a bunch of people actually invested in each other.
TLDR is: idk I like mods and want to meet and be friends with people.

Okay so it’s my first time writing on here it’s wrong or whatever I’m sorry T~T
Yesterday I randomly remembered this K-pop song that i LOVED but i can’t recall the name of the song (it was in Korean, there were no English titles in the song tittle) or how it sounds, the artist(s) name(s) we’re also in Korean and not spelt in English. But i remember some parts of the music video. I have searched into the deepest parts of YouTube and i can’t find it. The song was performed by various artist, although I am not sure if it was by a group or if different individual artist collaborated. From what i (barely) remember it was sort of a ballad type song, a slow one, but the vocals were RICH.
Details of music video:
A man (let’s call him ‘S’) is a police officer and is helping a lady and her child hide from other police officers who (if I’m correct idk) are corrupt. Man ‘S’ safely takes them into a room (hotel room me thinks) and sits with them in the room with his other partner. All of a sudden corrupt cops barge in, Man ‘S’ stands and protects lady and child and ends up getting shot and dying. The lady kneels down next to his body and starts crying then the camera pans down and the credits roll in.
I’m sorry that is all I remember. If anybody manages to find it, or know which video I’m talking about or even tried I just wanna say THANKS you’re a life savior.

Here's the deal. I recently made a post which took me like ~3 hours to write detailing my entire life story and how I have somehow always managed to end up liking her even when I don't want to and I feel like I need to dumb it down, because it's a lot of emotional spaghetti.
It's like as soon as I'm almost ready to forget her, she just jumps back into my dreams again and fucks me up.
Her boyfriend and her plan to break up after graduation, and me and her have drifted apart quite a bit. School is over, but I'm going to see her a few more times ever, most prominently (no pun intended), our graduation and prom which are ordered as so.
I want to send her some text messages or voice messages about why I haven't been able to talk to her since I had been crushing on her and I want to tell her how I've felt. So I need advice on what to do next.
​
What should I send? What should I even say?
If you were her, what would you want to hear if anything at all?
If you want to tell me to forget her, I just want clarity and I know I will find it if I tell her all of this and lift the fucking weight off my chest.
Thank you, and lots of love!

To start off I just want to say thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and also that it doesn't not feel good sharing details of my relationship online but my Gf (Emily for the sake of the story) has encouraged me multiple to share on reddit. So here we go. Emily and I are in a argument today, the start of this was my younger brother(28M) asked if we wanted to join him and his gf(30F "Vicky") to go to the spring fair that the town he and I grew up in holds every year. At first I was apprehensive about this for a few reasons the 1st being that Vicky is an alcoholic with a rather serious problem who has a history of picking fights with anyone when she feels stress and makes scenes in public. For some context my brother has tried extensively to get her into rehab to no avail it just leads to her getting aggressive so he just does his best to keep her from getting blackout drunk everyday he doesn't drink anymore because of her and does his best to keep it out of their house. After mentioning it to Emily she wanted to go so I figured why not at least for the nostalgia of going back to somewhere we use to have fun as kids. So the plan was that we would go grab some fair food watch the derby that stated at 7:15 and check out what else is there. So to me if the derby starts at 7:15 that means get there for at least 7 so we can grab some seats, but to Vicky that meant getting in the car to leave at 7:30. I did not say a word even tho I think it is really rude and selfish, just tried to talk and joke with my brother who I haven't really seen since before Christmas (long story) so we brought the presents we haven't been able to give them yet, since it's June I was shrugging and making a wide eyed face in an awkward joking way when we handed them the gifts which I didn't have to do but was trying to lighten the mood since Vicky was storming around blaming everyone else for her not being ready yet, and then Emily who wasn't really paying attention when I was talking to my brother handed him some laundry detergent that she ordered to much of online and I made the same face. It was not my intention but without saying anything Emily took this to be deeply offensive as she thinks I was making fun of her and refuses to see it any other way. Also while this interaction was taking place Vicky took the opportunity to take a couple shots of Jägermeister when she thought no one was looking. By the time we actually parked it was almost 8 and Vicky was still taking forever to get out of the car and start walking toward the fair grounds because she is yelling at my brother how she needs a smoke when we get to the gate as I'm paying the absurd admission fee of $20 per person I can hear on the PA that the derby is finishing, I am not sure if anyone else heard it but within 30 seconds of getting through the gate Vicky started to have a panic attack. I am no expert but it's always been my understanding that it is best to give someone having panic attack space, not to surround them and repeatedly asked are you okay. So that is what I tried to do and let her and my brother have a moment since it is literally what Vicky was asking for. Emily took offense to this as well and thinks I was being insensitive and uncaring when in reality I was just trying to do what I thought was best in the situation since in the past Vicky seeing me when she gets like this makes things worse. We waited a few minutes for her to settle and feel okay while making it clear we have the option of leaving right then, it's no big deal. She decides no we should at least get some food since we came all the way there and weren't getting our admission fee back anyway. So we went and grabbed a blooming onion from a food truck. After receiving our food Vicky walked over to a corner I thought she was looking for somewhere to sit and eat since there was a bench over there but it was clearly for the food truck employees to have their break area. I asked 4 or 5 times what are we doing over here, do you guys want to go find some where to sit, let's go this way.. no one responded to me, I did not realize Vicky was having another panic attack since she was acting completely differently from the panic attack she had 15 minutes earlier, thinking I guess they're just waiting for me to move since my back was facing the only direction we can walk I see that the Emily is following me but she had already made it clear with her body language she wasn't interested in holding my hand walking through the crowd like we usually would do so I keep walking since 1 I hate being in a flow of crowded people 2 who stops and stands in the middle of where hundreds of people are clearly walking? We get through the crowd and Emily is right behind me but upset because she thinks I was insensitive to Vicky again/ thought I tried to leave her behind. My brother and Vicky were 20 seconds behind us we sat and ate without anyone saying much of anything then after maybe about an hour after getting through the gate we decide to leave. Get back to the car and Vicky is again angrily demanding smokes but also just realized she has no idea where her phone is so my brother and I spend a few minutes looking for it and then stop because it's not the first time she drank to much before leaving and just left her phone at home this upsets her of course but ends up being the case. So driving back home from my brothers place Emily is giving me the silent treatment, get home have a few minutes to unwind still not talking to me, she goes to start playing a game on the computer, I felt that was enough time for her to bring it up on her own and didn't feel like being treated like this again so I asked calmly if she wants to talk about what the problem is, Emily then proceeded to list the things I explained above while accusing me of being the problem and that I am at fault cause she thinks I was angry. It was a pretty bad night but reflecting I do not see how to do things differently in the future at no point throughout the night did I raise my voice, show any type of upset expression on my face, say anything that was rude or combative, I didn't take a deep breath because she gets upset when she can hear me exhale. I apologized for hurting her feelings about the laundry detergent but will not say I did it intentionally because I did not do it intentionally so she stormed off to bed. More silent treatment today until she needs a ride to work even tho I made it clear I'm not going anywhere today and she can drive my car herself since it's only a 5-10 min drive from our place she insisted I drive her. On the way there she tried to tell me an even more elaborate detailing of what she feels I did wrong while also insisting that I did not apologize the night before and I am not allowed to speak on my own behalf, then yelling at me every time I did try to speak which escalated and lead to her stating in a clear voice repeatedly that "now she is going to cry at work" like it is a threat or something. She deals with PTSD from SA by her stepbrother (she has given the green light for me talk about this on here, she did a post herself going into detail about it both to vent and for the sake of awareness about speaking out even when your family tries to tell you that you can't) I have known from the very start of our relationship and have always been as supportive and sensitive as possible when caring for her needs, not to say that I am perfect at it but I always have tried to be supportive in whatever way she says she needs. Like many other people I deal with my own anxiety, I have a different brother who I haven't spoken since I was 18 because he is an addict among other things but because we use to look so much a like I have been jumped twice, almost been stabbed and when I was in high school some guy came into my school with a gun threatened to shoot me in the face over problems with that brother. I don't try to use it as an excuse but the truth is I don't like large social settings, no matter how much I try it is hard to not be a little on edge, I pay a bit closer attention to my surroundings than the average person does and even tho I've explained it the best I can to her she gets upset when she notices I get like that and thinks there is no acceptable reason for my behaviour. We met when I was 19 and she was 17 she approached me at my work and asked for my number. We have been through a lot together and I love her however lately it feels like this is a repeating pattern where if anything goes wrong that negatively impacts her view of a experience it is my fault and keeps defaulting to yelling that I'm an asshole and she thinks I need therapy and tho I have explained repeatedly I have sought out someone to speak to online and the idea of sitting down and paying someone to hear your problems is a concept that I am not very comfortable with she stubbornly and in my opinion aggressively denies I am doing anything and inadvertently repeatedly states that she is "healthy" and I am not which feels really insulting after all the support I gave while she was going through her therapy which she procrastinated on for a year without a peep out of me because I understand it was a hard situation and that forcing yourself to "get help" is not necessarily the best move if your not mentally ready for it. TLDR -- Being called an asshole for how I handled Vicky having a panic attack.

My mom n dad was probably the best parents a person can have, they did everything for me. I had a super safe childhood with a very loving family and we did everything together, but they were always very strict to when it comes to alcohol and we never really had a talk about drugs. They ofc said dont do drugs but thats about it.. I got in to the world of drugs since a young age. When i was 13 i had to do surgery to my shoulder, it was quite a big surgey tbh. I remember it as it was ysterday, i was being taken down to the room where i would be sedated, i was so nervous that i literally was shaking like a leaf.. and then this nurse shot me up with something to make me calm down, i felt this cold feeling in my arm and then my body just melted in to the bed, i will never forget that feeling. It was amazing and i think that was the moment that opened the doors to the world of drugs. I knew that there ws things out there that could make you feel a certain way.
i started using weed and tried drinking when i was 13y old, i hung out with ppl who were 4yrs older than me so when they started partying i did too.
Weed was probably the first thing i rly got into, from the age of 14-17 i smoked alot and i always went to partys on the weekend with my friends. Alway getting drunk and smoking.
One party when i was 17, my friend at the time was selling amfetamine. Long story short i tried some, and that marked the starting point of a very heavy partying period. I was finishing culinary school at the time and it is known that ppl in that biniss party.. so party i did. I was out 5 days a week just drinking doing alot of cocaine and basicly every other drug i could get a hold of like ecstacy and lsd and all sorts of things. I used to go to these underground raves. And sell cocaine and ecstacy to support my own habit, wich meant the volumes were high. A normal rave night i took about 4-6 e pills during 2-3 days of partying. And after that i just took a shit ton of opiates and lay in bed for about 4 days.
This went on for a few years, untill i hit the wall and got super depressed, i was 23 at the time and i have had that lifestyle for 6 yrs.. the way back was hard. I quit everything and just foucused on my health and exercising, after 6 months i felt like myself again.
I am now 24, i have applied for a school were u study tv and movie production. Super exiting, i was living at home waiting for the school to reply. During this time my mother got diagnosed with rly serious cancer. And that hit me like a ton of bricks from nowhere. She started chemo right away and she started getting a huge amount of pills. And me being the addict i am ofc i took a few one time, just once… i have been doing great i deserve it. So the pill i tried was morfine. I chewed it and i got that similiar feeling when the nurse gave me the shot… i melted in to my bed and felt like i ws inside a cloud. And that was it, i got stuck bigtime.
I started to steal alot of pills, dont think she noticed bcus she was also out of it. I took a pill everyday. And then i had to move away to start the tv/movie school. So i took my stash of pills with me, and wasted no time finding a dealer when i got there, 1,5 yrs almost 2 of consistent opiate use. I knew i was in deep deep shit. I had to find a way out, what will i do…
In to my life came….. yh u guessed it. Kratom… it worked great. I stopped taking the pills and started to take this great natural plant instead. Fast forward 2,5 more years of being a fking slave to this shit i am free.
14 days clean i feel great, i sleep again i have no symptoms of wd. But im taking one step at the time.
Im on a new path in life, I CHOOSE BEING SOBER!!!
On day at the time Thnx for reading

Did he(M34) use me(F31)?
I was in a relationship for 2 years. Last February I felt like my partner started to slowfade me. Can't explain it, but things felt different. He started texting less etc.
Also noticed a lie. He said he was working during the weekend, but I found out he was on a citytrip with family. Don't know why he would lie about that.
2 weeks ago he came over and we talked about our relationship. We both said we wanted to work on it and better our communication. He went home and literally ghosted me from that point. Ignored my texts, declined my calls and so on. Today I found out that he moved to a different city, 1h from the place he lived before.
I'm so speechless!!! I'm not a toxic person and why he had to escape or something. I know he doesn't like confrontations or deep conversations, he literally shuts down.
I guess we aren't in a relationship anymore. I feel treated like trash. Is this dating 2023? Just swipe to the next one?

Ever wondered what it would feel like to be on edge and at my mercy, at first, begging your own mind that you cannot handle the tingling and sensitivity? The long game of pleasure, urge, and stimulation.
I don't think there are many women who can handle being so overstimulated that they would do ANYTHING just to have that one ruined orgasm let alone the full blown pussy clenching euphoria. You think you would only get one as well, oh no, I want my plaything to experience absolute sexual bliss multiple times, until they are begging out loud to stop. That 6 orgasms is just too much, that you are raw but still....begging with your eyes for more.
Do you think you have what it takes to appease me as my faithful, gooning, dripping wet Sub? Perhaps you are just curious and want to talk about it with me, I have been doing this online for 6+ years so experience is not an issue.
Other things I am proficient at, besides making your eyes roll into the back of your head:
Rigging - If you know, then it is something you might want, if you don't know then ask me
Edging - I may have said it already, but I can assure you, I can hold you there for as long as I want and if you do ruin it is 100% my doing
CNC - Self explanatory
The Sub/Slave/Toy I am ideally looking for is someone who is wanting to explore online, and then perhaps somewhere else. I take pride in the trust my previous Subs have divulged to me and I also want them to be able to trust that I as there Dom/Master will do my absolute best to keep you safe, comfortable, and within your limits.
Safe words, are consent, and it applies to both of us
You MUST be confident enough, and willing to share yourself and show to me, I expect my subs to take care of their minds, body, and health and I am sure some of you reading this might thing it shallow but I assure you those 3 things mean so much to mean so I would appreciate it if it was reciprocated.
Reddit chat me if you have questions, even if you are curious, and we can get a repour going there. A description of yourself, your requirements, and a brief rundown of what you like to do in your spare time is a good opener for chats.

My dream started with me in a car with a coworker and we were both drunk. We pulled up to a light behind some cars and I looked at him. He was crying. He said he didn’t know what he was doing he was too drunk to drive and he shouldn’t be driving. I told him to pull over and convinced him I could drive and that I was sober enough. He pulled into an alley and we got out of the truck to trade seats. When I got over to the driver side someone bumped into me. It was a short stocky person with big black bushy hair. I got into the truck and thought nothing of it. I looked around for a place to turn around and thought I would pull forward. In front of us was a lake or puddle so I thought I would just let the front tires touch and then back up. When I pulled forward into the water the whole truck went in and I tried to reverse out, tried to roll down the windows and tried kicking the windows. Nothing worked I saw the water at the windows and woke up. Then when I woke up I thought the person I bumped into on the alley was death or the grim reaper.
It was a very weird dream or nightmare. I don’t usually have those but this dream made me not want to get out of bed.

It's just FYI. My reddit chats got fucked, but it's only some of them. Any of my longer conversations, I can't access. Shorter ones, I still can.
I really only have two ongoing conversations, that I can't access, and I consider really important for the time being.
One of those people, she knows, and she knows how to find me on Facebook. I have her phone number, and she's fine if I disappear. She knows I come back.
The other one, TBH I don't know if you would even know who you are. You could, you have enough information to know. I don't know if it's something that matters to you, or. I'm not offended either way. I'm just letting you know that commenting on any post of mine, specifically on this app, reddit...
That's how to let me know if you're trying to reach me if you ever really need to. My chats are down and I have no presence anywhere else online anymore.
Not cause I got mad. I reset my phone and my passwords are fucked and it just felt like it's time for me to move on.
Love you, you know that 💞

Everyone raves about it, I used to be one of those people, but since they started parking two boats there, I really don't like it. Prices have skyrocketed and it's more crowded than ever. We stopped going to the water park since it's often almost $200 and wait times for the slides have gotten ridiculous. Other excursions sell out WAY in advance so if you book relatively close in, you don't have any options including private options to do. Shopping is limited to overpriced garbage at the Straw Market, including magnets that have "Cococay" hand-written over "Nassau" on Bahamas magnets. Pool is nice but always cold. This past trip was the final nail in the coffin for me. It was drizzly raining and people had nowhere to eat that was sheltered from the rain, so they just stood right at the buffets with their plates and ate. Staff said nothing about them dropping taco from their mouth back down onto the buffet.

lately I've been worried that maybe I have some sort of identity issue. For as long as I can remember it's been so important to me to identify as "one thing" and not let certain aspects of my personality bleed into each other, to the point that I separate them into distinct "modes." Lately I've been giving them their own names and honestly it's been sort of relieving in a way, because I feel like I can let them express themselves more clearly without worrying. I dunno if this makes sense.
But basically I feel like I have 5 distinct "modes" or "personalities" but rather than blacking out and dissociating from one to another, they kind of just all go at once inside of my brain, one occasionally being more apparent than the others and having more say in my decision making. They all tend to be going at once though (with the exception of one that has been missing for a little while) and they make decision making difficult as they don't always agree on things. I am fully aware of my surroundings at all times, though, and I don't have noticeable "shifts" since everyone tends to talk at once. It's just that sometimes one is a little louder than the others.
I dunno. I'm sorry if this is a huge mess. I've been thinking about it all weekend, trying to reach some sort of conclusion on it. I don't want to self diagnose or appropriate an illness that I don't have, but I genuinely can't afford to even attempt to diagnose this. I would love to hear anyone's thoughts on the subject so my brain can rest a little.

I've known my LO for decades. We reconnected a few years ago. We reconnected during a traumatic point in my life and this led to limerence. He initially reciprocated interest, but I believe my state of limerence scared him off.
I went NC recently. I've had time to really zone in on my feelings. I am better overall, and have realized that my feelings for this man are real and honest. However, learning about limerence helped me realize that I have a lot of inner work to do. I tend to go into a LE when things around me don't feel safe or when my inner self is in turmoil.
Overall, NC has helped me realize two things: 1.) My feelings for this man are real. However, my brain and body respond to these feelings in a very limerent way. I've learned that 2 things can be true at once. I can genuinely love this man, and have some toxic patterns that respond to these feelings in an unhealthy way (obsessing, clinginess, compulsion). 2.) I am not in a place or space to have or start a relationship. I have a lot of work to do. As such, learning about limerence and going NC has helped me choose myself. This on its own was key to helping me come out of limerence.
The daydreams/fantasies have stopped. I am able to compartmentalize this man as a friend because that is all I can offer at this point. I have no desire for anything else because my need for self-healing and growth is now worth more to me than the euphoric highs his attention ever gave me.
At the height of my limerence, my emotions rationalized every single thing that tells you "this isn't good" / "the timing is off" / "this isn't right". You feel that the feelings you have for this person are like nothing you've ever experienced and are therefore worth any sacrifice you need to give. They're not.
Get right with yourself. Go back to the root cause of why you feel you *need* to be with this person. At the end, even if you discover that your feelings for this person are genuine, you might also realize that responding to such feelings in a limerent way begs for you to unravel that, unpack it, and do the work needed for yourself.
I am still NC, and plan on staying NC until it feels natural for me to reconnect with him once again. And I must admit, it feels so good not to have an almost compulsive need to want to run to him. It's nice that my brain is thinking rationally through this, slowing things down for me, and that my emotions are letting me know "when it's right, you'll know, take your time."

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I often alternate between Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox churches.
Today's readings:
Numbers 11:16-17,24-29

The Lord said to Moses: “Gather to Me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them; bring them to the tabernacle of meeting, that they may stand there with you. Then I will come down and talk with you there. I will take of the Spirit that is upon you and will put the same upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, that you may not bear it yourself alone.” So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord, and he gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people and placed them around the tabernacle. Then the Lord came down in the cloud, and spoke to him, and took of the Spirit that was upon him, and placed the same upon the seventy elders; and it happened, when the Spirit rested upon them, that they prophesied, although they never did so again. But two men had remained in the camp: the name of one was Eldad, and the name of the other Medad. And the Spirit rested upon them. Now they were among those listed, but who had not gone out to the tabernacle; yet they prophesied in the camp. And a young man ran and told Moses, and said, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” So Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, one of his choice men, answered and said, “Moses my lord, forbid them!” Then Moses said to him, “Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them!”

Joel 2:23-32

Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God; for He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you—the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. The threshing floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil. “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame. And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth: blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance, as the Lord has said, among the remnant whom the Lord calls.”

John 20:19-31

The same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

John 7:37-52; 8:12

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Therefore many from the crowd, when they heard this saying, said, “Truly this is the Prophet.” Others said, “This is the Christ.” But some said, “Will the Christ come out of Galilee? Has not the Scripture said that the Christ comes from the seed of David and from the town of Bethlehem, where David was?” So there was a division among the people because of Him. Now some of them wanted to take Him, but no one laid hands on Him. Then the officers came to the chief priests and Pharisees, who said to them, “Why have you not brought Him?” The officers answered, “No man ever spoke like this Man!” Then the Pharisees answered them, “Are you also deceived? Have any of the rulers or the Pharisees believed in Him? But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed.” Nicodemus (he who came to Jesus by night, being one of them) said to them, “Does our law judge a man before it hears him and knows what he is doing?” They answered and said to him, “Are you also from Galilee? Search and look, for no prophet has arisen out of Galilee.” Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

Today is the feast of Pentecost, and the end of the Paschal season which covers Easter, the Ascension and Pentecost. It is the culmination of the event of the resurrection.
In an earlier sermon we discussed why we say specifically “Christ is risen,” and not “Jesus is risen.” We said that it is unremarkable for a man named Jesus, or for instance Lazarus, to be resurrected; as we saw with the latter, this was only a resuscitation to life which still ended up again in death. It is a resurrection to earthly life. But to say Christ is risen has another implication altogether: resurrection to heavenly life.
By His resurrection Jesus teaches us three lessons. Let's review them.
First: Jesus rose from the dead with our very flesh. By His rising from the dead, which is our rising from the dead, Jesus demonstrates the inherent dignity of the human being, which not even death can keep confined. He demonstrates this further by His apparition to Thomas, displaying His very human wounds in His risen body, and by His glorious ascension to the right hand of God by which man is given his place right at the side of God. By His resurrection, Jesus displays the design of God for mankind: to elevate us above everything else.
Second: Jesus puts our humanity above the angels. Indeed, the angels were made to serve not only God but also man. See how the angels advised Abraham (in Genesis 18), saved Lot from Sodom (in Genesis 19), and guided Tobias (in Tobit). As stated in Hebrews 2:5-18, the world was not made to be ruled by angels, but to be ruled by human beings, which Jesus Christ fulfilled in His person. However, Lucifer, the devil, did not accept this, and inflamed himself with pride and revolted because he refused to serve man.
Third: “Christ” means the Messiah, the One sent by God Whom the Jews expected, and today still expect; our belief that the Christ has come as Jesus may be the only thing differenciating us from them, they who are our elder brothers in the faith. To say the One sent by God is risen is to say that God's promise, incarnated and recapitulated in this person, never dies; it remains with us forever, nothing can keep it away from us. This is why, during the Divine Liturgy, we answer to each other “Christ is in our midst—He is and ever shall be.” The Ascension does not contradict this: it is not the farewell of Jesus, but on the contrary the pledge of His everlasting presence. It is the fulfillment of His words in His last discourse (John 16:7): “If I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”
The Gospel of John often speaks of the Paraclete, which is translated as the Helper but also means the Advocate, Defender, Intercessor. Jesus calls Him the Spirit of Truth. He is the mean by which His words after His resurrection will come true (Matthew 28:20): “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The coming of the Holy Spirit is the permanent presence of Jesus with us. As He also told the Apostles (John 14:16-17): “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”
Therefore the Lord sends us His Holy Spirit and remains with us forever, not in His physical presence but in His spiritual presence. Led and empowered and accompanied by Him, nothing is required of us, except for one thing: to know the Spirit. St. Seraphim of Sarov taught plainly that the aim of the Christian life is nothing else but the acquisition and intimate knowledge of the Holy Spirit. To this end, let us at least pray daily, morning and evening, from Pentecost to Easter, this prayer which during that time opens all our prayers: “Heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of truth, everywhere present and filling all things, Treasury of blessings and Giver of Life, come and dwell in us; cleanse us of every stain and save our souls, gracious One.” Let us also always keep everyday in ourselves the promise of Jesus' enduring and permanent presence in and with us, which becomes a fountain of joy and vivifying comfort and consolation for our troubles. Amen.

So I've been going to a therapist,. As context, I had gone to another one last year but it was only one session because she never called back after that I have been highly aware of the fact I may have bpd for the last 2 years, after lots and lots of research but I wanted a professional's opinion When I asked my first therapist if it may be possible for her to check me for bpd she was very upset and said that "it's like asking Google for your symptoms and it diagnoses you with cancer" Needless to say I was devastated especially since this was not the first time of being shut down about my mental issues
Anyways, recently I told my new therapist about that experience (without mentioning bpd) and she said "well, I don't know what it looks like in your brain and I wouldn't mind hearing your suspisions at all, but you don't have to of course." It was very comforting but I'm just too scared to tell her, especially because of the stigma and I don't wanna lose her respect because she seems like a good therapist Any advice?

Every Sunday, or whenever it is possible, I give a recap of the sermon I heard at church today. I often alternate between Catholic, Protestant and Orthodox churches.
Today's readings:
Numbers 11:16-17,24-29

The Lord said to Moses: “Gather to Me seventy men of the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and officers over them; bring them to the tabernacle of meeting, that they may stand there with you. Then I will come down and talk with you there. I will take of the Spirit that is upon you and will put the same upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, that you may not bear it yourself alone.” So Moses went out and told the people the words of the Lord, and he gathered the seventy men of the elders of the people and placed them around the tabernacle. Then the Lord came down in the cloud, and spoke to him, and took of the Spirit that was upon him, and placed the same upon the seventy elders; and it happened, when the Spirit rested upon them, that they prophesied, although they never did so again. But two men had remained in the camp: the name of one was Eldad, and the name of the other Medad. And the Spirit rested upon them. Now they were among those listed, but who had not gone out to the tabernacle; yet they prophesied in the camp. And a young man ran and told Moses, and said, “Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.” So Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ assistant, one of his choice men, answered and said, “Moses my lord, forbid them!” Then Moses said to him, “Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the Lord’s people were prophets and that the Lord would put His Spirit upon them!”

Joel 2:23-32

Be glad then, you children of Zion, and rejoice in the Lord your God; for He has given you the former rain faithfully, and He will cause the rain to come down for you—the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month. The threshing floors shall be full of wheat, and the vats shall overflow with new wine and oil. “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you. You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; and My people shall never be put to shame. Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel: I am the Lord your God and there is no other. My people shall never be put to shame. And it shall come to pass afterward that I will pour out My Spirit on all flesh; your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions. And also on My menservants and on My maidservants I will pour out My Spirit in those days. And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth: blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the Lord. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance, as the Lord has said, among the remnant whom the Lord calls.”

John 20:19-31

The same day at evening, being the first day of the week, when the doors were shut where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them, “Peace be with you.” When He had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. So Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” And when He had said this, He breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” Now Thomas, called the Twin, one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples therefore said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” So he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.” And after eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, “Peace to you!” Then He said to Thomas, “Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing.”And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” And truly Jesus did many other signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

Acts 2:1-11

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. And there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men, from every nation under heaven. And when this sound occurred, the multitude came together, and were confused, because everyone heard them speak in his own language. Then they were all amazed and marveled, saying to one another, “Look, are not all these who speak Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each in our own language in which we were born? Parthians and Medes and Elamites, those dwelling in Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya adjoining Cyrene, visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabs—we hear them speaking in our own tongues the wonderful works of God.”

John 7:37-52; 8:12

On the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” But this He spoke concerning the Spirit, whom those believing in Him would receive; for the Holy Spirit was not yet given, because Jesus was not yet glorified. Therefore many from the crowd, when they heard this saying, said, “Truly this is the Prophet.” Others said, “This is the Christ.” But some said, “Will the Christ come out of Galilee? Has not the Scripture said that the Christ comes from the seed of David and from the town of Bethlehem, where David was?” So there was a division among the people because of Him. Now some of them wanted to take Him, but no one laid hands on Him. Then the officers came to the chief priests and Pharisees, who said to them, “Why have you not brought Him?” The officers answered, “No man ever spoke like this Man!” Then the Pharisees answered them, “Are you also deceived? Have any of the rulers or the Pharisees believed in Him? But this crowd that does not know the law is accursed.” Nicodemus (he who came to Jesus by night, being one of them) said to them, “Does our law judge a man before it hears him and knows what he is doing?” They answered and said to him, “Are you also from Galilee? Search and look, for no prophet has arisen out of Galilee.” Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

Today is the feast of Pentecost, and the end of the Paschal season which covers Easter, the Ascension and Pentecost. It is the culmination of the event of the resurrection.
In an earlier sermon we discussed why we say specifically “Christ is risen,” and not “Jesus is risen.” We said that it is unremarkable for a man named Jesus, or for instance Lazarus, to be resurrected; as we saw with the latter, this was only a resuscitation to life which still ended up again in death. It is a resurrection to earthly life. But to say Christ is risen has another implication altogether: resurrection to heavenly life.
By His resurrection Jesus teaches us three lessons. Let's review them.
First: Jesus rose from the dead with our very flesh. By His rising from the dead, which is our rising from the dead, Jesus demonstrates the inherent dignity of the human being, which not even death can keep confined. He demonstrates this further by His apparition to Thomas, displaying His very human wounds in His risen body, and by His glorious ascension to the right hand of God by which man is given his place right at the side of God. By His resurrection, Jesus displays the design of God for mankind: to elevate us above everything else.
Second: Jesus puts our humanity above the angels. Indeed, the angels were made to serve not only God but also man. See how the angels advised Abraham (in Genesis 18), saved Lot from Sodom (in Genesis 19), and guided Tobias (in Tobit). As stated in Hebrews 2:5-18, the world was not made to be ruled by angels, but to be ruled by human beings, which Jesus Christ fulfilled in His person. However, Lucifer, the devil, did not accept this, and inflamed himself with pride and revolted because he refused to serve man.
Third: “Christ” means the Messiah, the One sent by God Whom the Jews expected, and today still expect; our belief that the Christ has come as Jesus may be the only thing differenciating us from them, they who are our elder brothers in the faith. To say the One sent by God is risen is to say that God's promise, incarnated and recapitulated in this person, never dies; it remains with us forever, nothing can keep it away from us. This is why, during the Divine Liturgy, we answer to each other “Christ is in our midst—He is and ever shall be.” The Ascension does not contradict this: it is not the farewell of Jesus, but on the contrary the pledge of His everlasting presence. It is the fulfillment of His words in His last discourse (John 16:7): “If I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I depart, I will send Him to you.”
The Gospel of John often speaks of the Paraclete, which is translated as the Helper but also means the Advocate, Defender, Intercessor. Jesus calls Him the Spirit of Truth. He is the mean by which His words after His resurrection will come true (Matthew 28:20): “I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” The coming of the Holy Spirit is the permanent presence of Jesus with us. As He also told the Apostles (John 14:16-17): “I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.”
Therefore the Lord sends us His Holy Spirit and remains with us forever, not in His physical presence but in His spiritual presence. Led and empowered and accompanied by Him, nothing is required of us, except for one thing: to know the Spirit. St. Seraphim of Sarov taught plainly that the aim of the Christian life is nothing else but the acquisition and intimate knowledge of the Holy Spirit. To this end, let us at least pray daily, morning and evening, from Pentecost to Easter, this prayer which during that time opens all our prayers: “Heavenly King, Comforter, the Spirit of truth, everywhere present and filling all things, Treasury of blessings and Giver of Life, come and dwell in us; cleanse us of every stain and save our souls, gracious One.” Let us also always keep everyday in ourselves the promise of Jesus' enduring and permanent presence in and with us, which becomes a fountain of joy and vivifying comfort and consolation for our troubles. Amen.

Last night my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. We’ve been officially together for 7 months now but we were friends with benefits for about 3 months prior to him asking me out. He is my first boyfriend I was homeschooled during my high school years so I never had any opportunities until I moved out over a year ago. At the beginning of our relationship I didn’t ask for him to go down on me, actually I used to cover up when taking off my pants before sex. This is my first relationship and sexual partner and I wasn’t comfortable at first being so vulnerable and having him see me naked. It was something I found embarrassing. I’m much more comfortable now and have been wanting to try new things.
Anyway back to last night. We were watching a show while we were cuddling in bed. I had a pretty shitty day and he was comforting me after I had been upset. Then things took a turn as they often do and we started kissing. Out of no where he said he had a surprise for me and it would be something I really enjoyed. He paused the show and proceeded to go down on me for the first time. It was amazing I finally understand the hype! After he was done however he went to the bathroom to spit in the sink and rinse his mouth out. For context he was raised by germaphobes and is a bit of one himself. So I wasn’t shocked or anything but I expected him to say something like I need to wash better or it smelled or something but when he came back he didn’t acknowledge the spitting or anything at all. He was immediately back in “sex mode” and was talking dirty and asking me how that was and if I enjoyed it ect. Basically he just continued like nothing happened and he didn’t just kind of kill the mood. He asked me how long I’d like him to do that for next time and was talking like he was into it.
I just don’t really know what to think of it. I don’t know if I should bring it up or if that’s normal. I don’t want to make him do something he’s not comfortable with but at the same time I’ve been giving him head since day one and I think I deserve to get pleasured as well. The problem is his words and actions conflict. His words say he was into it and happy to do so and his actions say he was uncomfortable and grossed out. Should I let things go and see how it plays out or should I bring it up. Any and all advice is appreciated.

I wake up in an unfamiliar place, the color of a light red fills my vision, it’s almost pink as my eyes groggily search the room. It looks almost identical to a stereotypical hospital room aside from the color, and the strange alien technology surrounding me. So I'm not dead, I think as I see a holographic screen displaying imagery of an earth field, with green trees in the background and the occasional car passing by every minute or two, what's that about? The room has a large circular couch, thing, it looks like a couch but the design is off somehow. There is also what looks to be a heart rate monitor and an IV going into my right arm. I look to my left arm when I remember what had just happened, a piece of red metal appears to have replaced my shoulder with a small cylindrical protrusion where the arm would normally begin, the fuck, I reach over and touch the foreign object, it’s warm, not too warm but just like touching skin, aside from the smooth texture and the hard metal.
As I sit there examining myself and the surroundings I hear voices outside a smooth green door, voices I can understand, but they aren't speaking English, or any other human language for that matter “so what the hell happened to this one?” a gravely even voice somewhere between male and female sounding asked.
“Report says one of the newbies took off his left arm after she saw the poor thing with a knife. I feel bad for the male, you can see the utter terror in his eyes on the body cam footage.” This voice is higher but still gravely, assuming they worked the same way, this one is definitely a female.
“That boneless bitch, a fucking knife? Their hand guns didn’t even pierce the breastplate let alone a knife! Even if the man got close enough to stab in the weaker areas, they are stab and slash immune.” I don’t know if I am being pitied or talked down to at this point.
“Well you better make it clear you're on his side, it will be hard for him to realize he’ll have to pay a shit ton or just keep the metal. Good luck, and please give him a good uplift name.”
“I will I will, already have one in mind”
The door slides to the right, into the wall and in slithers an alien who has four eyes with similar positioning to humans, orange skin smooth as ours but with no hair, what looks like a wound down the middle of its face yet you can tell it isn’t in a strange way, it doesn’t have ears or a nose, and it’s wearing a skintight green suit that ends a few inches below the “hips” and a black skin tight sleeve down the rest of its tail? Body? Snakes are always confusing on that. The same species that shot my fucking arm off, no tits though so maybe a male? I will find out soon as much to my dismay, it starts talking. “Hello human, I am Mr. Ullgo, your nurse for the time being, how are you feeling?”
If I’m being honest, physically nothing hurts or even feels odd, my metal shoulder is strange to look at, sure, but it doesn’t feel any different than my normal shoulder, I wasn’t about to give them credit though. “Like hell.”
“I see, that is unfortunate, I can’t imagine what you're going through, I'm sure you have questions, please ask any now.”
“Where the fuck am I and why can I understand you?”
“Firstly: you are in an orbital hospital around earth for treating troops and civilians, and your neurons have been modified in a way that you speak and understand Ikotac, the standard language for the Argochurian Authority.” he sounds very matter of factly
“You did fucking what!” I shout lifting myself up for the first time.
“My dear sir, pride ourselves on a smooth integration and this is the best way to do it.” he says putting a hand on his chest, there are two fingers on each side of the palm, strange
“Real fucking smooth, show up, blast a city into ash, blow a man’s arm off in his own home, kidnap him and mess with his brain, fuck you pal.”
“I apologize for the wretched behavior made by our military but I have no part in it, I just heal the injured.” sounding almost sincere
“Yeah? Then whats with the fucking scar on your face and why did I hear you talking about reports?” I spit out
“What I talk about is none of your concern sir, and it’s not a scar it’s a nose.” that’s weird, maybe it gets translated into the equivalent
“Whatever, can I go home?”
“Likely yes, if you answer my questions.”
“Whatever, shoot.”
“I will not be injuring you sir.” the nurse replies with a confused look
“It means start, you overgrown snake.” they really kinda look like snake people just without the scales
“I see, very well, first question I will know if you're lying, if given the opportunity to leave your world to work and live somewhere else, would you.” he seems like this thing has asked these questions many time
“So long as it’s away from you fucks, sure.”
“Second question, what kind of job would you like to have if you got to choose.”
“I don’t know, my old job on Earth.” what kind of question is that
“And lastly, would you like to stay on your world?” this time he looks me dead in the eyes with a curious look
“If this is what the galaxy is like, then yeah, fuck leaving”
“Alright, thank you, I’m uploading the results now,” a couple seconds pass and he starts to frown, “I apologies sir but, it appears that The Authority needs you off world.”
“What the hell, fuck you no I’m staying on earth!”
“My humblest apologies but nobody on this station can change the results, but as is tradition, you now must receive a new set of names.” he smiles, it’s such a genuine smile like he’s happy for me. Wait, new names what? He places a small and smooth device on my head. “This is just so you remember your new name as your name, which is now, Yagak Grolgem!” there is a sharp shock and hissing sound as he says my name, wait no that's not my name! My name is… is… why can’t I remember?
“What the fuck did you just do you bastard?!” I grab the device and slam it into the floor, and it breaks apart into several pieces
He jumps, as much as a thing without legs can jump, “eep, I’m sorry sir, it’s required to have a new name to unchain you from your past.” he sounds scared, pitiful, confused
Suddenly a 7 foot tall, jacked female alien with red skin and a similar outfit to Ullgo, bursts into the room, and points a vaguely pistol shaped device with a yellow end at me, “stop right there human” she yells, slithering closer to me, “I don’t want to taze a man but I will!”
“Whoa, ok ok” I raise my hand up, I already got shot once by an alien, I don't want to lose another limb.
“Ullgo get behind me.” she commands the male who seems to frown even deeper
“He won’t do anything, plus he’s missing an arm”
“Then what was that crash?” she turns to him but still keeping the gun on me
The male slithers over to the right of the bed and picks up the pieces of the device, “the neural rewriter, I am once again sorry Mr Grolgem, but it is necessary for the uplifting process.”
This bastard, “curl up and die.” I growl with as much venom as I can, “when do I get to leave this place”
“Later this evening, after you get your arm that is, oh and please leave Hogerchek”
“But…” she starts but is cut off
"now” and with disappointment clear on her face she turns and leaves, “apologies, she is jumpy due to the amount of violent patients as of late” he seems genuine at least, “please follow me to the bionics branch, that's where you can get a new arm.”
I nod, at least I’ll get a badass replacement of my missing limb, wonder if I can get a knife on the end of it like the doom slayer, probably not, why would they give me a weapon after mutilating me. I stand up as I take the blanket off of me. I see that I too am wearing a skin tight suit that appears to be made specifically for humans, but not for human males as my bulge is very clearly pronounced on the thin material. I step off the bed and the nurse begins to turn a deeper shade of orange before turning away, “my apologies, we don’t have anything looser so we just gave you a bipedal plantigrade pair of sleeves” he looks very bashful as he stares at the wall. I chuckle at the bizarre display, how is this guy a nurse if he can’t handle looking at someone else’s private bits, oh well, I’m suddenly feeling better about the situation,
“what’s the matter, four eyes? Aren’t you a nurse, you should be used to looking at another man’s dick.” I say vying for a reaction.
“Agrochurian penises stay inside the body when not in use, and I’ve only been dealing with human females so far, not a fellow male.” he slithers over to the door as I follow, “a short walk and you may return to your room,” he already seems to have mostly recovered from a couple seconds ago, what a strange creature.
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